Anonymous
Spiritual connection to Pakist(...) 11/29/25(Sat)03:50:51 No.217175006

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Spiritual connection to Pakistan (repost) Anonymous 11/29/25(Sat)03:50:51 No.217175006

>>217158290
Repost since last post failed to meet success, hope the hour is more appropriate this time

I've had a phase during high school where the name Pakistan would come up randomly anywhere with no context, there was nothing unusual happening there but everyone was suddenly talking about it and no one seems to notice it but me. I started getting obsessed over it, start spending all my free time reading the news from there and reading books about it, my parents through I was radicalized by the talibans and I felt a great connection to it. I started to notice every south asian person on the street and it made me unbelievably happy. I started to stalk a pakistani childhood friend but the neighborhood she lived in got completely locked. I ended up in a psych ward where I was diagnosed schizophrenic and given aripiprazol and it kind of got away but it was the only thing that made me feel alive plus my friend and his psychologist think I am not actually schizophrenic so I stopped taking my injections one month ago and it came back a couple days ago. I spend my day learning urdu and listening to pakistani music and I go outside searching for a pakistani guy I knew from high school, I haven't seen him for nearly one year but I spent five hours next to a train station he might take just to see him. I keep hallucinating him onto other people so it's hard to know if it was even him. I can't talk to pakistani it feels too intimidating like a superior human race. I don't know if a lot of pakistani people are here but I would love talking to one or just being acknowledge by one would make my month. I am unemployed so I can't travel but anyway I think I would just go full psychosis if I was surrounded all day by pakistani