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You could get an American visa and move to Aplington, Iowa and get a job at the post office making $25 an hour to start, meet a nice girl at the First Reformed Church and take her on a date to Stinky's Bar and Grill, and get married and raise up seven children in this house but you will not do it.
Because you’re a faggot and you are weak

I'm a retard and a faggot
I need to kms

feel a poo brewing in my loins but it's too cold to go poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERY8e1gCRGY
Then he journeyed for a long ways
And she was never in his mind
Came he home to just a memory
For the lady she had died!

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did timothy chalamet just do a nazi salute on graham nirton?

>>217551917
When shawty sees my bead collection before I slip a mickey in her firewater

>>217551946
ion no nigga

>>217551934
cheer up

>>217551933
Americastles and Amerijobs and Ameridamsels are for us, not you.

Didn't enjoy my time as a triptard so I'll renew normal posting

right i'm off to the shops and then back here to do my washing and have a big messy hungover wank

>>217551946
He is EsDeeKid

the fact that so many latinx in America can't speak Spanish is such a culture shock desu
Every single non-white in London speaks their parents language fluently.

>>217551969
The only thing separating me from an American is the accent and I can change that

>>217551995
>latinx
ceo of woke are you?

Mr. Bean

is The
best !!

>>217552017
Fake mousey

Is we bombing south america

>>217551995
You sound like a Redditor

>>217552029
He's called Horse now. Keep up slow cunt not like you have anything better to do.

>>217552016
>>217552048
like most intellectuals my age, I am a redditoholic

Is Italian cuisine the most overrated of all time?

>100 variations of pasta with different sauces
>glorified cheese on toast

>>217552058
>He's called Horse now
Now, are you gonna cough ahp da sovereigns or should I call for da facking clamps, then?
>t. Guy Ritchie

wonder how countries without channel islands, bermuda, cayman and gibraltar evade tax

given we have all of them you'd imagine we'd have every billionaire in europe living in the UK

>>217551917
Stop lusting over our women, limey

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Omds imagine the war crimes

>>217552101
>flag
lol

>>217551995
I cant even communicate with my own mom whomst i live with due to being a no sabo. American culture is just so effective at assimilating

>>217552075
moron

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>>217552075

What a great thread
What a great general

>>217552144
trueeeee

>>217552150
hope this gets a steam release soon

>>217552153
what a frabjous day!

>>217552124
She fit?

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https://youtu.be/KDnKIryNPgQ?list=RDKDnKIryNPgQ&t=175

Massive choon

>>217552133
Don't get me wrong, I love Italian food. The secret to it's worldwide success is how simple it is. Even the fussiest eaters love Italian food. There's a reason pizza and spaghetti are on kids menus around the world.

rorke cutting the crust of his sandwiches

>>217552176
60 year old mexican lady. What do you think she looks like based on widely available statistics?

>>217552164
that would be cool. fable 2 needs a steam port too, been dying to play it again for years

Might get a nice Rogan Josh next week. The italian of curries as it were

i've decided to learn portuguese

Coming out of the closet

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>>217552194

I'm not a nice person

sri lanka
now that's an odd name for a country
should be called srilanka like how vietnam is vietnam instead of viet nam

I was cutting a bagel in half for my breakfast but I accidentally cut myself and dropped the bagel into the sink into a bowl that was filled with water so now it’s ruined

>>217551933
Iowa fucking sucks and I already have a comfy tradie job in California

>>217552319
If you can’t list legitimate reasons as to why it sucks I will assume you’re lying

is it possible to get a 300k mortgage with 15k down payment and a joint income of 70k

We love our spics dont we folks

>>217552307
fry up instead

>>217552271
ktim
>>217552307
a harrowing ordeal

>>217552336
never met one but i think i have a latinx soul

Ash Sarkar told Nick Fuentes to kill himself on Bbc newsnight last night

>>217552277
newzealand, unitedkingdom,

>>217552241
Basically

Ofcom shuts down /brit/ today

might have mushroom soup for tea, any complaints?

>>217552384
United Kingdom isn’t a country

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>>217552375
funny

>>217552400
i knew someone was gonna say this

>>217552404
love how she oscillates by claiming to not be british vs claiming to be extremely british contingent upon what her opponents are saying about her like a chameleon

trying to debate leftists is so exhausting desu

>>217552411
Shouldn’t have said it then

>was at work after-hours thing in midweek
>hugged like a dozen people
>got the fucking cold
bet the rest of the office does too
toilberg's planned this so we have a pavlovian reaction to assoicating leisure time with illness so we work harder in 2026
I just know it

girls on hinge be like
*way to win me over*
'buy me a house'

bitch, first of all i aint got enough money for rent this week, second of all, if im buying a house im buying it for me

>>217552445
Tell her I’d buy her a house if she’s fit like

>>217552420
shhhhh... here's your binky

third of all my benis fell off

ire land

Currently on Day 5 of awaiting a response from her :(

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the world's oldest map

>>217552509
She's probably taken a willy in that time bro

Got the Chief Keef on feeling nietschean

don't like wanking when it's cold
feels uncomfy

>>217552543
don't wank then
you stay warm and Jesus loves you a little bit more
win-win

why do all youtubers have the same 3 sponsors

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no hangover for me as I didn't consume any of that muck

>>217552575
same don't like drinking on fridays, feels grim

>>217552521
Yeah, obviously
But she promised to get back to me in a few days

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>>217552592

The Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC) of the United Kingdom has indicted 1,238 Nigerian nurses and midwives in connection with an exam fraud scandal at the Nigeria-based Yunnik Technologies Test Centre in Ibadan, Oyo State.

Additionally, 717 more nurses are currently under investigation, bringing the total number of affected professionals to 1,955.

>>217552607
screaming

I have 10 kids

>>217552612
are you telling me that these african nurses are not of good moral fibre?

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morning all

obseity vibes today i need FOOD!!

>>217552684
don't remember asking

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Can't stop cringing

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morning x

feel so cold and sniffly today

>>217552731
lol Gary still hasn't acknowledged it either
fucking hell

>>217552728
Fuck I got get.

https://youtu.be/nU5XSnzryCA

God I wish I wosn't such a fucking retard.
Piloting looks very fun.

>>217552731
Is that mousenonce?

>>217552731
hoaring

>>217552731
Less cringey more just sad that their family have left them in this state

>>217552731
parasocial relationships are one of the biggest problems of the modern internet

Right *slaps knees* getting on with that poo

eating with a friend lmao

>>217552758
we're all just lonely strangers

>>217552758
>he said to the random internet strangers

>>217552758
define parasocial

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got the sausages on

(reddit) yanks are obsessed with the term "parasocial". they think they've unlocked some deep jungian psychology

why are people so gay about being alone

>>217552786
*turns them off*

>>217552772
you dont know what a parasocial relationship is

>>217552787
Why are you telling us, we're not your mates

gf thinks we should have a baby even though we're 21, we still rent and earn less than 65k combined

her reasoning? her best friend just had a baby

>>217552781
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided bond where a person develops strong emotional feelings and a sense of intimacy with a media figure (celebrity, influencer, fictional character, or even a sports team) who is unaware of their existence, creating an illusion of friendship or closeness through media consumption, especially common with social media.

>>217552787
it's the double wammy ego junkie hit of this but also also allows them to feel good that they're better than the "parasocial" people. everything yanks do is to seem or feel better than other people. they live off that high. it's their lifeforce

>>217552804
get the baby made

>>217552811
shan't be making that mistake

was a blackbird singing outside but it stopped when i looked at it

this poo was promised to me 3000 years ago

>>217552787
parasocial isnt some big brained word like you think it is
>>217552808
strange post by a confused poster

>>217552663
Toilfu looks a lot like this

my gf is perfect but im not

booked an appointment at 1 so there's no time to do anything before it and after the day will be basically over

Sure I'll listen to Tom Yorke sing about suffering, he's 5'5 and ugly. Rockstar chads? Women? Nah. Not buying it.

>>217552786
Giz a nibble lad just 1

217552830
>like you think it is
>you
of course the stupid yank gets the complete opposite meaning from my post because his fat brain selectively chooses to only see the words that make him feel better than the other person. typical yank ego delusion. not even human at this point.

corrrr blimey mate got a couple snags on the barbie aye cunt dog mutt !! fucking get in sausage sanger right up the arvo hooroo

>>217552906
wore me thongs reading this

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The irish fuckin mob.

work christmas meal tonight
keep switching between excitement and dread

>>217552911
fucking oath cunt !

Sucking an ice lolly thinkinh about the irish fuckin mob n how we bring it back

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>>217552916
are you gonna dress up nice for it

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get the tickets booked rorke

>>217552892
you are projecting
it's okay im not here to make you feel bad

>>217552953
heffer

>>217552953
size of them legs, proper cattle meat

>>217552962
know more of these people than i’d like to admit

>>217552962
>russel brand
don't know how anyone can take him seriously

>>217552607
So you think she was lying? :(

I don't have a girlfriend so I am deprived of being able to pop this spot on the back of my neck.

I went to Zogfest and nobody knew you

*mincily minces about*

>>217553000
he's a purple belt in BJJ and could kill you with ease, something to ponder. Feel free to disagree with his opinions or his grift but just be aware that if he wanted to he could kill you and you couldn't stop it, you'd just die folded up like a pretzel

>>217553023
Alri russel

>>217553023
how would he do that when i dont leave my house

>>217553023
>he's a purple belt in BJJ and could kill you with ease,
Yeah if we were having sex and he turned on me

catberg sitting on my bed being a good boy <3

>>217552953
yh, collared shirt and smart shoes

>>217553067
pooey cat parasites mushed into the pillow where your eyes and mouth rest mmm yum

>>217553067
Pics?

>>217553023
i would bite the fuck out of that gangly freak

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Are kim
https://youtu.be/GN7GSHGba08?si=s405q1nPOZfC6aDU

what's your favourite sort of bug/insect?

can't wait to have my big grubby tea later

>>217551917
sex brown women

>>217553098
he's too pure for this place. but hes black and white (i call them penguin cats) and he has large cute eyes and a pure serene expression

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>>217553103
Wētā

>>217553100
If you think your willingness to bite someone would undo someone's 9+ years of a legit grappling martial art with active sparring then I hope you never end up in a fight, for your sake. He would kill you.

>>217553103
dislike them all thoroughly

didnt die in my sleep again award

>>217553103
Beedrill

>>217553103
woodlice seem like pretty sound lads

>>217553103
rorke!!!
LOL

>>217553103
Poo

>>217553103
>>217553155
i take that back, it's bees

Jiu jitsu freaks just laying down on their back and asking you to come closer in the middle of a fight

>>217553118
I had a cat like that when I was growing up. We called him Pongo, not sure why but he did suit it. He'd sleep at the foot of my bed every night and then would go nibble on my dad's toes to wake him up for food in the morning. 20 years he lived, great little cat, I'm sure yours is great too. Ever shag him up the arse?

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They dont make english roses like this anymore

really need you guys to stop pooposting it makes us look childish calling each other rorke and talking about wanking is ok but poo this and poo that is just not on

poo this

poo

poo that

>>217553192
pongo is a good name, my guy is called monkey because he likes to climb on things. Never doen anything sexual to him

>>217552962
Why and when did Russell Brand go from leftypol to rorke

>>217553222
that would be the raping

>>217553103
bees
beetles
butterflies

>>217553222
>when
rape allegations came out
>why
he knew he'd be safe

i came up with a theory today on why people choose evil like the rorke convention, it's easier to not care about things, no anxiety, no pessimism, pure self worship. if they admitted the world is fucked and people are in a lot of pain and struggle and could feel the emapthy that comes with that they would feel sad, so they create insulation of smug apathy

>>217553313
so what was the pickup line

>>217553313
so what's the line then?

>>217553313
would need to know whether she's 18+ or not before I could appropriately respond to this particular webm

is there an echo in here?

something ghastly just fell out my arse

>>217553323
yeah?

>>217553313
Ridiculously beautiful

something gengar just fell out my arse

echo six tango lima, over

Just cleared the image cache

all stations check your handsets we have an open carrier

americans be like: happy holidays

>>217553358
'

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INDIA GOLF NINER NINER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg94uui8Ucs

something alakazam just fell out of my bed (me)

watching ash vs evil dead, filmed in new zealand innit

>>217553349
a Shadow Ball?

>>217553416
good show that, underrated
real shame it got cancelled and just ends on a cliffhanger

Sir Impacted Wisdom Teeth

Has anyone here ever seen an escort that you had to pay a bank deposit for?

She has lots of positive reviews on AW so probably safe. But presumably she would be able to see my full name?

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Kpop desu lads

>>217553442
fuck off back to /britfeel/

>>217553442
Seen it with quite a lot of escorts. Some will ask for your credit card details to save a lot of time so they can do the transfers themselves. Really convenient and i can't recommend it enough

>>217553458
No
There is at least one other lad here who uses escorts

>>217553313
some pick up lines are 10/10 some are cringe, translates roughly to 'if you're attractive its good'

>>217553501
this is the reality. If you're handsome enough you can do cringe things or have awkward fashion sense and get away with it

stop being ugly

gonna need the lot of you whingey incels to fuck off back to /britfeel/ actually

I like nathan fielder and tim robinson

Biting niggers willies off

People will post where they want and you'll do nothing but have your impotent little melty. Calm yourself down lad.

Another LOVELY day in the British Isles, cool crisp winter air upon us. A great day for getting out there and enjoying the Christmas markets and other British festive cheer!

>>217553614
Pouty, pompous little post

why is classical music on spotify so fudging quiet

i don't go outside

>>217553628
ktim

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i go outside

Sir Bastian Schweinsteiger

>>217553648
i would go outside if this were my outside

went to a christmas market alone once and it was shite. Walked quickly in a loop, not even looking at the stalls because it was too busy and I wasn't going to buy any of the tat anyway. Left quickly and got the train home

I'm sure it's great if you're there with a girlfriend or whatever and she's saying "oh wow look at these little figurines" and stuff like that while holding your hand but on your own it's just an empty experience

That guy looks a lot like me

>>217553416
>durrrr i watch this show because it's set/filmed where i live!
Such a parochial mindset

>>217553664
sounds like you didnt even get amongst it lad get the £8 mulled wine drank, get the £15 bratwurst eaten, get the clue gained

I have over 3000 porn pics and vids on my phone is that normal?

>>217553688
no not really

>>217553648
Alri Frodo, not all of use travel to Mt Doom

>>217553688
*turns away and talks to someone else*

need to get my work clothes washed and dried before tomorrow but it's due to rain all day. I will put them on the radiator so they dry in time

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>>217553688

>>217553664
One of those events that is more of a social activity.

Will be sleeping in my grinchskin tonight to begin easing myself into the role

Sir Philip Lahm

>>217553680
>parochial
dont know what that means

get the blind date posted

>>217553706
get an airer

stick your wet washing in the air fryer, sorts it right out

when gays get home from work do they say "honey I'm homo"

>>217553772
christ what a fucking unfunny post

getting a big poopie done

>>217553783
limp wrists flopped this one out

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We here at /brit/ wish Dick van Dyke a happy 100th birthday.

>>217553849
must be liberating as fuck being a pooer in india, does the novelty of a street poo stay with you or does it lose its jenny says kwoh after a while

>>217553875
that's an old dick

>>217553886
the novelty lasts forever and a day

why's he 100 years old?
what for?

>>217553664
Christmas markets are now just heavily commercialised scams aimed at deano types
you won't find anything particularly unique or special there just massively overpriced junk

>>217553706
Some clothes shrink if dried on a radiator, just a heads up mate good luck whatever you decide to do. If you've got a clothes horse maybe put the clothes on that near the radiator instead

when was the last time a girl gave you a compliment?

>>217553924
went past one yesterday and it was all tat

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>5 years ago
wonder where he is now

>>217553917
he's still all there so why not
it's not a Jimmy Carter situation

>>217553945
Year 12 Economics class
Girl said I had nice eyes
12 years ago

>>217553945
Couple of years ago I was shagging and she said I had a big willy. They all say that though don't they? Just to be nice.

>>217553963
Right here, still harvesting (You)s

>>217553943
In that case I shall just put the clothes horse near the radiator cheers

suppose any bit of another person being inserted into you would feel quite big, relatively speaking

why can't they bring back physical media? I'm sick of waiting so long to play a 100gb game

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Hey yo brit.

>>217553945
Escorts have given me compliments.

The one I saw on the 4th said I was really handsome. Maybe she was just inflating my ego.

>>217553997
you'll own nothing and be happy

>>217553997
Saves them money not having to pay some factory to pump out discs and casing

why's this horse got clothes on it?

>>217553981
depends
how big is it?
girl told me I had a small one once
but that was immediately after I pissed her off royally so I think it's a biased sample

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Does porn actress become tv reporter in your cunt brit bro ?

>>217553913
corrr i long for a delhi street poo

>>217554029
why is my man printing off pieces of paper instead of using a laptop like an adult

>>217553981
I think girls somewhat overestimate the size of willers, I think it's because they're usually petite themselves so proportionately it looks big coming at them
I have a 6.2 inch william and I'm always told it's huge when in the grand scheme of things it's not

SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW

THAT FIONA AND ME

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absolute state of america

>>217553945
yesterday. got told I smell nice (indirectly of course, it was the fragrance I was wearing that smelled nice)

>>217554014
no shit they're going to treat the paying customer nicely

>>217554049
what's the circumference
the big secret is that that's all that matters
a 5 inch porker will beat an 8 inch needle every time

>>217553945
a girl at work very casually told me that she loves the sound of my voice last year, didn't know how to react

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Ay yo

>>217553945
was told 'i have boyfriend dick' by an girl i was shagging, made my week

>>217554049
if your willies wider than 2 fingers then you're gonna feel notable to any bird as long as you're at least like 4+ inches in length

>>217554080
I actually don't know, never bothered to measure girth

>>217554092
I am DESPONDENT at how WHORISH femoids behave on these bloody apps.
Keep telling myself that Bonnie Blue is an outlier but every woman is bonnie blue on the inside.

>>217554092
mental that i'll never be that handsome and charming and have a woman just fall into my lap

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>>217554092
meanwhile

>>217554100
bizarre system of measurement given everyone's fingers are different sizes

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meanwhile

>>217554092
uncs rizzing a 30 year old chipmunk

Officially had the weirdest nightmare in my life last night.

I was in some sort of waiting room and there was this arcade machine thing were you're supposed to jack off and give facials to female masks, I tried it out and found it was about horribly deformed women which made it really difficult, but when I did it pieces of sausage came of my dick and I researched it and found out I had some kind of disease that didn't digested processed meat and all of it would exit through the urethra.

>>217554140
>>217554127
STOP

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>>217554135

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>>217554127

>>217554135
listen mate dont take it out on me just because you failed the test

>>217554141
Lol

This is the Info War

i honestly don't get reddit mods, just came back to a tab that i had open last night of a post with 26k upvotes that's been removed and locked

>>217554127
>using words like unconventional with an esl eastern european called katya
mad how some people cant even talk to girls

Don't know how people get pissed up and shag birds. Have no interest in sex once I'm pissed. Never even had a wank whilst drunk.

did a big poo and it felt all nice sliding out me arse

>>217554141
scremming

How's it evening x

ladies you are looking good tonight

>>217554158
not a fan of this

>>217554158
dusty, smelly delly

>>217551917
New

>>217554179
>>217554179
>>217554179

>>217554144
ok

got a friend who's a 5'7 hairy balding persian and he shags like there's no tomorrow
he's not even charming desu. he's got such an immature sense of humour (that's what she said is comedy gold to him) and yet look at that

He is a /gym/ nigga though tbf.
Just bizarre to me tbqhwyl.

>>217554467
>>217554467
>>217554467