Valentines day editionprev: >>219235138
morning lads, happy valentines dayx
>>219238251alri x
Was mean to my mum yesterday hope she’s forgotten because I feel horrible
can't wait to look at all the valentines posts on social media today and feel terrible!
BREAKING NEWS: A huge personality from /brit/'s past will return tonight!
Today is the feast day of the Roman Catholic saint St. Valentine.
>>219238284suck it up, say sorry and give her a cuddleyou'll both feel better
>>219238286Just don't look lol
>>219238310She doesn’t do cuddles
>>219238319no x
>>219238236>Valentines dayAnd you sad sacks will spend this day alone, behaving like teenagers on 4chan the magical anonymous website
Shit sucking
>>219238352what else am i meant to do
he said while posting on 4chan, his penis dry and shriveled, his letterbox empty
not a racist bone in my body but I really am bored of forced diversity
Garn neck this sandwich I got from Greggs then garn back to bed for a few hours.>>219238251Morning x
feels like im the only non-racist left in the world
It's gone. Lost 2 inches off my penis length and it's never coming back. How do you deal with this mentally?
>>219238396Is this a new a gimmick I missed
Couldn't open my door this morning but it was because I couldn't find the key and not because valentine's day cards were blocking the way ok
>>219238370i'm not racist in the sense that i hate blacks just because they're black but i do wish they could commit a little less crime
>>219238430Nah that is just racist. Not comparable to what I was saying
You have to think yourself lucky in life xhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHLFldMD7b0
wow a link posted by a frogposter I will definitely watch that
Love black coffeeDespise black teaWeird that
>>219238519Is black coffee your valentine
fake day made up to sell cards and flowersWell done
>>219238471>AI Reconstructionshan't
Mr Sandwich has been necked so back off to beddingtons for me x
Happy Black History Month!Did you know?In the Wild West, around 25% of cowboys were Black. Despite their significant role, they were often overlooked in popular culture, including Western movies and novels.
>>219238542your birthday is a fake day designed to depress your entire family
Might create an AI gf today
>>219238471Unreal to think how much AI has improved. The Will Smith Eating Spaghetti video was only 3 year ago. Fucking hell.
>AI Reconstructionyikes...
>>219238569I’m well aware. I did a post about how much I hate my birthday on here yesterday.
quite sunny today desu
>>219238562History was made in 1866 when Dontarius Tylenol Jackson not only stole the first bicycle but is also credited with inventing the high speed police chase#BlackHistoryMonth
>>219238597LOL
>>219238584why didnt my ancestors get the ship over to america
if reform win the senedd in May I will kill myself
>>219238562https://youtu.be/ykRu5uCySAQ
>>219238606Mine did then my granddad fucking came back!
>>219238612hate when my keyboard double types letters
>>219238642hate is not good for the heart lad
>>219238642what do you mean
katy receiving timmy spam dm’s rncronem shnoring at gherkin, no thoughts
>>219238642oh you were just mocking the language i see now
Thought this was a racist ai created picture at first but it’s real
>>219238675hahaa ;)
We at /brit/ love making baseless accusations about people, with a view to send them hurtling down a spiral of depression.
i always thought test tube babies were literally grown in test tubes but i just looked it up and turns out they put the baby back in the mum
gf already absolutely on one today, 2 arguments pre-9am. Class.
>>219238519on the black 'fee rn me
>>219238684thanks
>>219238679New Planet of the Apes looking good
>>219238519tea makes me feel sick but coffee doesn'tweird seeing as tea is supposed to be weaker aha
is time realplease answer
an australian-style points based immigration system
>>219238701on Valentine's Day? Get her sacked off
happy valentimes day
The masses out early waiting for bettys to open this morning
>>219238741yeah its on my watch
>>219238741currently 10:02 for me
>>219238744Wants to hand the bastard telly 6 foot off the group so you have to crane your neck any time you want to watch it, may as well be living in a fucking planetarium Then wants me to hang the mirror on the wall that gets direct sunlight, will be cunting blind by August
>>219238712snood tummy erotic
made up stories about made up gfs corr that's quality let's have some more made up stories please I love hearing all about these wacky antics
>>219238795Ok well I had a gf and I had sex with her. I did not wear condom so sperm inside of her. She was on the pill so it was ok
>>219238795sitting right next to the missus doing a soduko, going for a shower with her soon
>>219238795shagger's general m8please take your dysfunctional vfery back to /britfeel/
local chinky takeaway is owned by a white guy and his chinky wife and he's got his daughter working there and she is so fucking peng i wonder if i order enough chinky takeaways he will give me his blessing to shag hershe's fully white btw, presumably from his first marriage before he got divorced and became a timmy
/fr/ is slagging us off for not being romantic in comparison to them. What does "le stúpid incèls" mean?
>>219238795my gf just sucked on my willy like an ice lolly
the swede is the only one telling the truth.the rest of you who bang on about girlfriends and wives are massive fucking liars who disappear when you get found out
>>219238795>>>/britfeel/
All these sexy stories are giving me a boner!
>>219238812No it was not okYou should be getting hitched and giving your parents grandkids not creating parallel universe potentiality ghost babies
>>219238861I have better things to do than arguing about whether my girlfriend is real, like shagging her
gaining weight is so much harder than losing weightthe amount of food i have to eat is retarded i don't know how people do this
proper rattled the hamster cage, that post about made up gfs
>>219238881> I have better things to doBut that’s the thing you don’t.
>>219238869I'm sorry pope but I don't believe in you ok you are a mythical being like werewolf and skeletons
>>219238888Hope you billow out into a whale when you hit 40 and you have to go about in a mu-mu a la Homer Simpson
>>219238795>>219238861>>219238891You're a very boring little man go back to /britfeel/ and take Tilde (Sacked Transvestite) with you
>>219238930Cheers virgin
Hey quick question to all britbros: is it true that basically only "public" (aka private schools, not state schools) are worth anything in Britain these days because state schools are overfilled with retards and migrants? Here in Germany around 10% of all schoolchildren go to private day schools. Funny thing is it only costs 150€ per month, im not joking. It's basically the "your children go to a school with normal children" tax.
>sorry love just you go and de-ice the car I'll be out in a minute I just have to sort this argument on my anime website, happy valentines babe
While /britfeel/'s here can you tell us the latest on ribenaHasn't posted on their blog since September last year
>>219238861is it because i posted her arse some years back?
>>219238795Slept in different room to missus last nightCame in to talk to her in the morningShe lets out a massive curry fart I leave and go make coffees
>>219238964Do you think people in relationships spend every second together gazing into each others eyesAnimebrained little runt
Rorke sleeping in separate beds from his missus like in a 1950s sitcom
lots to do today lads going to be a busy man yes indeed
>>219238974Amer is still around because sometimes he lifts the block on his blog comments then he puts it back on
>>219238962no
>>219238979Yes but other things aswell
How are the incel freaks coping on today of all days?
>>2192390170and his missus is a teddy bear
next week at toil: "just a quiet one for you this weekend was it yeah mate?"
birthdaytoil in a few days lads, looking forward to gfberg letting me shag her up the clacker
>>219239062already got one on a full schizo melty
foresty forest he lives in a van
>>219238962in my experience going to a state school it wasn't that bad. plenty of retards but also plenty of normal kids as well. i do feel slightly mogged when i talk to someone who went to a private school and hear that they studied latin or whatever.also this was in cornwall so it's not like we had a lot of immigrant kids.
he’s still rattled after he got exposed haha
>>219239069Fuck up Carol how's that second divorce going you prune
>>219239062one has decided its impossible to even be in a relationship
>>219239097> cornwallHow do you cope with having the most gay accent in the country?
>>219238765need a tea merchants and benders edit
In South Australia I was born
>>219239101scradley
>>219239111love itmakes me feel special and unique
fairly shite offerings today on the olympic schedule. Some curling kino but mainly boring ski stuffrugby later though, the rugger
mums been in the shower for FORTY FIVE MINUTES!!!! Does she know other people want to use it too!!!!
>>219238418It's not a gimmick. When I was in my 20s my penis was 8". Now in my 30s it's 6".
>>219239150It's not "the Olympics" it's the Winter "Olympics"Literally created so Norway can feel useful
>>219239162Bet she's pleasuring herself
>>219239162fingering her bumhole to orgasm no doubt the nasty bitch
>>219239164what hrt does
imagine taking that bait deary me
>>219239164sounds like you probably just got fatter, get on the treadmill tubbo
>>219239178>>219239187don't say things like that
>>219239208just saw this in another thread kek
>>219239208BIDMAS
I have a weird shaped head Will never be loved That’s okay
so this is why rorke moves to dubai
>>219239218more like BIOMASS
>>219238962Both are filled with retards and migrants but the retards at private school get extra help so they don’t disrupt the whole class and the migrants are of a better sort who want to learn and integrate.I know retards from private schools who dropped out of Oxbridge/Russell Group universities or got thirds or basic degrees without honours who would not have seen those universities if they’d gone to state schools.You basically need very rich parents. Private school used to be for middle class people who sacrificed holidays - doctors/solicitors/small business owners. Now they’re for the very rich indeed - tech/finance/corporate law types and very old money (grew up on a huge family farm types)
What's your idea of romance lads?
>>219239164Same>>219239206Even if I push down it’s still not as big as it used to be
escort said i fuck like i just got out of jail
>>219239247Dunno never experienced it
>>219239247physical intimacy
>>219239247an accomidating throat
>>219239235this nigga effortposted so hard he used a hyphen
>>219239233Who goes to libraries?I can read anything ever written on the internet with a bit of searching and if I want it on paper I can get it the next day with Amazon for a few pounds
>>219239247don't know xmy only idea of what romance is comes from films so it's probably not accurate
>>219239257>Even if I push down it’s still not as big as it used to beyeah fat is weird like that, it really makes it seem like your knob' shrunk but it hasn't i promise
>I know retards from private schools who dropped out of Oxbridge/Russell Group universities or got thirds or basic degrees without honours who would not have seen those universities if they’d gone to state schools.kaytimmers
i hope to invent a form of time travel soon
>>219239308time travelling every second of every day mate
if you vote anyone other than the top 2 parties then you’re a fool just ruining everything well done dixkhead
>>219239261What's that mean? Were you waiting for her to bumrape you?
>>219239290FOB
yeah? >>219239321
>>219239317The top two parties right now are Reform and the Conservatives?
>>219239321how's he gone and done this then
>>219239321don't like this
time travel innit
Really getting into this Peaky Blinders branch of Buddhism. I’m going to commit to the Tommy Shelby path and see where it leads me
We eating good this morning ain’t we peeps
Had the Japanese garden all to myself this morning
>>219239370indian coded image
>>219239372Just looked them up and now I’m hungry https://www.tboysboudin.com/
>>219239372
put that NIGGER in his place
>>219239396clearly tongue in cheek with the newbuilds in the background
happy valentines lads
>>219239370Not gay but Cillian Murphy in The Dark Knight has to be one of the most beautiful people in existence
does any1 else occasionally take off their socks and put them on the radiator for 20 minutes so that when you put them back on they're nice and warm?
disgusting fat CUNT
>>219239411That was the bud light tranny for a second
>>219239411this had better be a lad
these escorts always ask what race I am before telling me their rates
>>219239428i do this with my gloves
unfair that she gets called "hot"
>>219239428When I stayed in the homeless hostel I used to wash my clothes in the bathroom sink and dry them on the radiator.
>>219239441bit racist
this MICK isn't even smart
used to put sausage rolls on top of the radiator when I was a kidheaven knows why since we had a microwave
let’s go she said yes!
>>219239466mild scream at this
I want to know more about Councillor Amy Lee. Is she the token minority? What’s her interest in Bangladesh/the Bangladeshi people? I find the whole thing fascinating
>>219239451Did this when I lived in Romania because my washing machine broke and I hated going outside because I couldn’t speak any Romanian
>>219239486she's in evanescence innit
>>219239486She defo gets gangbanged
>>21923945120 years in the homeless hostel, not a peepYou wanted a tumble dryer, you compromised, dried your clothes on the radeyader
do you get the bull a valentines day gift or does giving him your gf count for both?
>>219239396>>219239410The Deano and the New Indian are spiritual brothers
dog has just enjoyed a lovely breakfast, bit of beef, bit of egg, bit of chicken feet, bit of peas and then he goes straight out in the garden and starts eating mud fucking mad bastard
last night a group of girls approached me (i was standing at a table with the lads in spoons) she asked me questions and after i said some random shit she left and went back to her tableit's always when i open my mouth, they can just sense something is off
>>219239536Well what did you say?
What’s your excuse?
>>219239550autism spectrum disorder
>>219239550Not rich
>>219239550I'm gay
>>219239545she was asking how old i thought she was and the rest of her friendsi said a bit younger than me but i don't really knowthen she just leftit was so random how she came up to the table
>>219239550socially retarded
>>219239550I hate women
>>219239550fair play there she is incredibly hot, not much else can be said
>>219239550he's clearly betabux deluxe
>>219239550I'm gay>>219239585Hi x
mental how I am a lot more attractive than him and a virgin
feeling monged out
>>219239619Just kidding faggot I'm straight AHAHAHAHA
>>219239550I'm not a chav
>>219239421i thought he was in batman begins
>>219239658would love to shag a chav at least once though desu
>>219239670he's in both
>>219239550That could be a brother, its faint cope, but its possible
:/
once knew this Muslim girl those iftar was sex with white men
might shave off my gay little mustache
Happy Valentine's day, chuds X
fuark
Funny how the word gay used in its correct and proper sense means happy but the way we use it today, the people it describes are anything but happy. A coping mechanism.
was at a family gathering once and TDKR came on the telly, only the second time in my life I'd ever seen it despite what would have been a decade+ worth of exposure to /tv/ memes and I just could not stop myself giggling. The entire opening sequence is the plane scene with Aiden Gillan and I literally had to get up and leave the room because I couldn't contain my chortles
can't pull out a metal rod from the frozen ground fucking fuming
>>219239734why are people growing moustaches
>>219239828i'm experimenting
honestly the escort I se must be fucking raking it inshe charges £120 for 30 minutes, even if she does just 3 of those a day that's £360 for 1.5 hours workeven if she did that just 3 days a week that's over £1k per weekwhy don't more women become escorts?
>>219239839>she charges £120 for 30 minutesblud is getting robbed
>>219239839You could make decent money doing gay sex with men you’re not attracted to but you don’t. Same thing
playing Silent Hill f
>>219239860most men could not become escorts, gays can fuck a man's anus for free very easily, you'd have to be in the upper percentile of attractiveness to make money off of it
>>219239860Jokes on you, I actually DO have gay sex for money
>>219239901If you’re young then a lot of gays are into that. I used to be what’s described as a twink, the male equivalent of jailbait. I’m not gay and never accepted but the offers I got were crazy. Ironically I was really shy and awkward around women as well
i wish escorts were normalised rather than onlyfans
farts are particularly foul this morning
Should really get up and go make a coffee
any of you going on the apps to shag a desperate bird?
crazy how faggots are just accepted instead of beaten and shunned
>>219239940this was mereally should have monetised my arsehole in some way back then before i minced it
>>219240006tried it for 2 weeks, got matched with a few girls and just got bored. my meds killed my willy anyway
>>219239994got none in i ran out yesterday
>>219239849I pay for longer, works out cheaper per minute.
me and my dad are going to watch West Brom play today :P
>>219240033Let him shag you afterwards for Valentine's
stomach is acting up badly after last night's drinks and whatever the fuck i ate afterwardshurts so fucking much
>>219240039weirdo
>homer bimpson
>>219239967Yep, would be much betterThe escorts with a brain must be earning 50k a year easily Honestly wonder what the blonde one I see does with her money
It LookslovelyinOxford Today !!
>>219240048There is literally nothing wrong with incest
watching 'rone
>The average annual salary for a sex worker is around £33,020, compared to the National Living Wage which is approximately £25,374 per year. Mad
>>219240047Go to a doctor, or better yet, stop drinking
got my bum out
>>219240090You're so interesting how come you have to pay for whores
RIP SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH >Sir David Attenborough's family have confirmed that at 10:00 this morning, Sir David Attenborough has gone for a napWe at /brit/ wish him a peaceful rest
why are they like this
>>219240112I am hearing that on his deathbed Sir David received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!
https://youtube.com/shorts/8k-zlKV8_3c?si=Hnaadu8erQG-AJjFbritishers are just DIFFERENT
What am I supposed to do about my 6" penis lads? How the fuck do you lose 2 inches? What causes the tissue to decrease? How do I get it back? I can't go on with a pathetic 6"
another valentines day spent alonelistening to pet soundssunny outsideshall go and eat my doughnuts in the park and watch the happy couples-- rorke
>>219240122How about you slime your way in to that comment section and ask them directly? Stop being a worthless coward.
>>219240095just fucking kill mei don't want to be here anymore
Went maccies last night and all the tills and cards payments were down meaning cash onlyWas absolutely screeching at all the cardmongs seeing the signs and turning around all dejected while I pulled out a crisp £10 from my walletVery satisfying.
>>219240131That was the Queen, not Sir David
>>219240138jelq
>>219240147
>>219240146rip brian wilson
>>219240072gmgm
>>219239421yeah he was very twinkish in his 20s, except in 28 days later when he had a bit of stubble
>>219240152unc rolling into mcds with a money clip
>>219240147theres no point talking to them they just twist your words
>>219240180So many other words you could’ve used instead of Twinkish
>>219240152>£10Just a burger then? No meal?
>>219240208not really, i think twinkish is completely apt
>>219239421a Sensitive Young Man
Sir Gaybent Faggotbummer
>>219240152always walk around with a 50 two twenties and a ten in my pocketin case you want to mug medon't have a walletdon't have a gf either but that's not really important
>>219240212buying a happy meal for someone i was meeting off the internet later
been watching goblin a fair bit lately, from the stories he tells and the way he speaks i thought he'd look like a wiry methhead but he looks like some fat virgin who plays magic
>>219240212Well it was the 5th time he'd been in there that day. Has no life, see.
>>219240212Just a cheeky double cheese after the club
listening to iris by the goo goo dolls on repeat and crying
>>219240152Yes my niggaCash is king
got my gf and had bum sex with her today hahabecause I'm a top shagger like all the lads on /brit/love her huge arse big bum fat bottomit makes the world go 'round
>>219240151me when someone asks me to do anything at toil
>>219240224Apt, apt analysis Robert
'ello
Would eat Emma Watson’s poo.
busiest day of the year for Guylian Sea Shells
>>219240309liar
>>219240317love these
>>219240305saw one of them the other night while i was out dumping rubbish and garden waste
>>219240317peng
>>219240346haha
just scheduled a wank by the missus
>>219240305alri
>>219240169this didnt happen
>>219240317Call these ghislaine maxwell shells
>>219240346they love perching themselves up high and staring down at you don't they
just got the wanking kit out of the wanking kit bag
>>219240362I wish these were ten foot tall and I could hug them them
neoliberal bull logging in
>>219240379
Eating last night's pizza which I left on the counter all night, hope that's okay
>>219240397just stack 10 on top of each other
>>219240397
>>219240362if you sneezed on this thing it would disappear
>>219240400Unironically who uses lube to jerk off?
quinton... get the fuck to your room
>>219240419yanks
>>219240419mutilated circumcised golems such as yourself
>>219240435Never use lube me.
/brit/ is set to open its first official Instagram account
>>219240399yeh we yammin' at the gherkin on this beautiful saturday crodiekaty girl needs her valentine's day fix x
We've got an owl in the village that hangs out in the back garden at night hooing and wooing so much that my african grey has started hooing and wooing tooMight invite him in next time I see him
>>219240427I SMELL MARIJUAAAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAA
We all voting for Rupert Lowe's new party then?
>>219240462how many swear words does he know
We've got an african in the village that hangs out in the back garden at night hooing and wooing so much that my african grey has started hooing and wooing tooMight invite him in next time I see him
>>219240462Hate parrotmongs How do you live with that thing which never shuts up
fuck i love weed ay how it gets ya high n shit
>>219240485that's not a parrot, that's my wife!
>>219240408so lovely so lovely!!
>>219240466Stop using this as a social media platform you boring cunt.
>>219240446you use spit then?
>>219240485men have lived with women since before ancient times lad
>>219240485ask your mum
>>219240305so this is rorke?
>>219240512Nope. Just hand and cock.
>>219240512his burgered hands are naturally burger greased
rec me a game to play over weekend boys
>>219240524must have massive blisters then mate
i am circumcised but i don't use lubehave given myself some sores in the past from vigorous rubbing but that's part and parcel
>>219240529shrieking
>>219240533shogun 2 total war fall of the samurai
>>219240545>>219240545>>219240545
>>219240479Most of themCouple of racisms too>>219240485They don't talk 24/7, a lot of the time he's just puttering about in silence. It's only when he fancies a chat or he's inspecting something new that he'll talk shit for an extended period of time
