don't understand how l'm so shit socially
just have no idea what to say to people but realise what I should have done far too long after the fact

>Last week Badenoch repeatedly pressed Starmer on his decisionnot to launch offensive strikesto destroy missile bases, asking: “Why is he asking our allies to do what we should be doing ourselves?”

>On Wednesday, Starmer said: “If I’d asked her last week, her position would be, we support the initial strikes and we want to join the war. This week, she says, we don’t want to join the war. That is the mother of all U-turns on the single most important decision a prime minister ever has to take, whether to commit the United Kingdom to war or not.”

>To cheers from his own backbenchers, he added: “She has utterly disqualified herself from ever becoming prime minister, thankfully she never will.”

Major burns unit to the Rorke aisle
I repeat, major burns unit to the Rorke aisle please

Based edition
https://youtu.be/87hAGYDe4_k?is=NkS5eUWO7AkdxQHL

what happened to pg tips
they stopped selling it

love watching funny youtube videos

>>219888778
lack of practice during your formative years I reckon

>>219888739
always wanted to read ballard but never have
you tell me where to start

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nth for the gyaldem

Feel rather tired team

>>219888787
Well that's her done then isn't it

>>219888789
For me it's Shadowplay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZSGVE_0f3c

>>219888803
>never have you tell me
Stick to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, saaaar.

disgusting tranny CUNT

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Horse

Don't fucking understand a fucking thing in twin fucking peaks season 3 absolute nonsense

>>219888805
must be chilly

>>219888803
Think Concrete Island or High Rise are quite easy to get into or short stories if you're into that. Crash too but it isn't everyone's cup of tea.

I'm not a man

right then! *claps hands together* time to get on the cans isn't it? yes it is lads, it's time to get on the cans

it's cans cans cans

cans all the way

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>I'm not a man

tripping on datura

>>219888787
Badenoch is a sad case. A child of immigrants, an offspring of english imperialism, acting as the scarecrow jester cryer of the conservative party

come to the conclusion that most jfs are better posters on average than us
they actually try to talk and ask interesting things
We just post heaps of utter shite and try to annoy each other
Rangeban the UK, janny. We deserve it

>>219888778
apparently you have to do something in the first 3 seconds, not just for the other person but because of your amygdala and that you will start building up a social plan for the engagement after that time

Thinking about your round cheeks

>>219888853
why have you got a cock and balls then

poo

>>219888896
Born with a medical condition

>>219888841
nice art

>>219888846
Leaf buffs help her stay warm

funny that nobody called him a man (he is) but he had to say it anyway

>>219888883
>We just post heaps of utter shite and try to annoy each other

But that's how the english phlegmatic humour surfaces. Innit guvna?

>>219888912
Otherwise known as being a biological male

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the results are in

>>219888787
touche queer

I am not a pole

>>219888830
Foid spiked Kennedycular's knife damage
when a Tyrantchad appeared. It's joever for Nemesiscels in 2k26

>>219888929
Funny how nobody asked for your opinion but you had to say it anyway

>>219888883
not true at all there at most 5 tolerable jfs who post here and I've got 10 entire countries in the filter list

>>219888883
the shite most jfs go on about is the most boring bastard shite i've ever read in my entire life and i'm not even exaggerating, always some fucking obscure historical nonsense or "how do i pronounce this word"
the ingredients lists on the back of the cereal boxes i used to read as a kid were more engaging

>>219888938
Johnny Rotten on the fiver WAHEY

I DON'T WANT A HOLIDAY IN THE SUN-NA
II WANT TO GO TO THE NEW BELSAN-A

>>219888938
based. looking forward to seeing cool little hedgehogs and blue tits on my money.

>>219888961
funny that i was saying he and referring to a male and you responded anyway

>>219888938
Empire Windrush will be on a banknote at some point.

>>219888841
Nyes

>>219888986
Your mum is so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke

>>219888938
>British natural landscape and/or wildlife
such as? Cliffs of Dover would be cool i suppose

>>219889010
your dad's too clever he skipped the punchline

>>219888868
spoopy, there was a guy here who dosed himself and his friend with datura tea and they barricaded themselves in his house screaming, the police had to come, it was a whole thing.

>>219888968
>at most 5 tolerable jfs

So all

>>219888970
Shut the fuck up rorke, you can't even compete you boring dastard, always on about the pakistani grooming gangs, white genocide, heathermong and whatever miscreants of your schizo mind.

So is Cooper stuck in a time loop or something

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i thought you're not supposed to kneel down like that

>>219889010
KIELBASA FOR DINNER, WHO WANTS SOME?

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>dire first half
>concede within 2 mins of the second

>shitsenal

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beth looking utterly insane here

PSG XI: Safonov; Hakimi, Marquinhos, Pacho, Nuno Mendes; Zaïre-Emery, Vitinha, João Neves; Doué, Dembélé, Barcola.

Chelsea XI: Jorgensen; Gusto, Chalobah, Fofana, Cucurella; Caicedo, James; Palmer, Enzo Fernández, Pedro Neto; João Pedro.

kashmir is the most overrated led zeppelin song i'm afraid

>>219888938
would be funny if we did nature considering we treat our nature like shit

>>219889021
My father is dead

>>219889079
trvke

>>219889079
Which one do you dig most?

Free coffee refills

>>219889079
>sportsball

>>219888938
5-pounder = Morrissey
10-pounder = Tommy Robinson
20-pounder = Prince Andrew
50-pounder = Bradley Walsh

>>219889089
untrue
it’s just we have very little “nature” since england is a tiny island country that’s been cleared and settled for 5,000 years

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>>219889054
she'd get it

>>219889045
screaming at his children in the back

Does anyone take Finland seriously as a country?

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1.08 MB WEBM

>>219889045
should be doing this

>>219889079
It's an okay riff but the strings are too loud on the album version. Love that part where Plant sings
>Trying to find where I've beeeeen
THOUGH

>>219889182
she looks like she'd be good at pegging

owl going mental outside

Friendly reminder that anime is for nonces.

just talking to the fittest of my neighbours there. Then her kid tried to walk into my flat and killed the vibe

>>219889095
i know, you are the joke he'd rather die than hear the end of

>>219888778
I'm alright online. Can essay post like the best of them. But when it comes to irl, I can't say shit and my answers become short and autistic.

making owl noises outside for a laugh

feel like absolute shit no energy at all and easily irritated

state of english clubs in europe

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You guys got owls outside, I got these completely insane fucks screaming at all hours of the day.

>>219889255
chin up m8

>>219889240
sounds like a hoot

Love when you do something for them and they look up at you and say “thank you”

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>>219889126
*teleports behind her*

film them

>>219889194
Literally no woman is good at pegging. Even the porn stars who specialize look pathetic doing it

loud car engines should be illegal

>>219889277
britain is crawling with them, cheeky buggers you'll catch them eating a kfc at 3am in the city centre
there's a place in st. andrews that sells toasties with seagull insurance

mad how small girl hands will never be fixed by lifting weights

>>219889277
they are cool. you'd think if you lived around them you'd just become used to it. used to live by a train track and it didn't bother me after a month

owl outside my bedroom window going HOOT HOOT HOOT

no sense filming them

>>219889291
I'm 5'6

Imagine being a woman now imagine you look down and you see giant tits

forgot to pat my chicken thighs dry and all the seasoning has come off in ovenblatt

* Smoothness = Suspicion: When you act "smooth," people think you have an agenda.
* Awkwardness = Human: When you are a little bit socially awkward, you look like a real person who is just trying to be friendly. It disarms people. If you walk up and say, "Hi, I know this is a bit random, but I've seen you around here a few times and thought I should finally introduce myself," you are being honest.

damn imagine having that advice as a kid

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>I'm 5'6

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>>219889316
I like them but also hate the way the scream. On the other hand I have a couple of doves who sometimes come to my balcony even when I'm there which is cute.

One time I hung out with pigeon for half a day then took him to the vet.

>>219889374
nibard

>>219889358
How exactly did it change your life?

>>219889368
imagine laying on a womans chest and you look down and see giant tits and start licking them and dry humping her

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/couple-burgled-bm-14-times-33566217?int_source=nba

>being pilloried in the news and ruining your life to burgle a grand total of 2 grand worth

pooroids will never cease to amaze me lmao

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ermmm
they're not referencing what i think they are?

>>219889387
pooholwing

>>219889100
Travelling Riverside Blues is my favourite
Can't usually tell people that because of the bit where Plant starts screeching "SHE'S SIXTEEEEN"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSht5j3Cnh0

mad how chicken thighs aren't actually cheaper than breast if you compare the cost of the edible weight

5'6 was the previous generations 5'8

>>219889342
I like them but I can't see em in the city, I think we have 9 species of owls here but you I've only seen em in villages and when I go hiking.

>>219889393
It didn't panic when you picked it up?

>>219889425
you will pay for bone and like it

>>219889425
Yeah and tastier because of the fat. Also it's really hard to overcook them.

haven't eaten since saturday
x

>>219889483
fat cunt

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>>219889393
they're great creatures, you do get used to the screaming fast. the trouble is when their young are starting to fly. they walk about begging for food and think every person is their mum.

wish more places sold chicken breast with the skin, can't be fucked to interact with a butcher

>>219889413
Suzumi is um coded

>>219889490
:(

>>219889502
who the fuck wants that

>>219889483
your poos must be like a fish's if you're even having any at all

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love gullbergs me

>>219889499
fucking hate that constant whiny whistle young seagulls do

>>219889483
eat something you need nutrients for the sun days

>>219889502
>can't be fucked to interact with a butcher
Oh you want something but can't be arsed to do what it takes huh

so typical

haven't eaten since Wednesday

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Police have issued an appeal to locate a missing 41-year-old who has links across Sussex.
A spokesperson for Sussex Police said: “We are looking for Laura, 41, who is missing from Chichester.
"She was last seen at midday on Sunday (March 8).
"Laura is 5’5” with light brown hair with blonde highlights, cut in a bob style, with blue eyes. She may be wearing a long black coat and white trainers. “She has links to Bognor Regis, Chichester, Littlehampton, Worthing, Brighton, Bexhill, Hastings, Eastbourne, Norwich, and Bedford.

>>219889546
ugh, right?
*rolls my eyes*

haven't showered since last year!!

feels like a thursday

>>219889582
smelly boy

might watch the football later, Charlton away to Middlesborough look like the one

>>219889546
I'm shy

>>219889600
is it though

>>219889616
Cutie

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>>219889444
I just sat with him for an afternoon, he was just walking around being curious, it was a racing pigeon who just showed up at one point, the vet said he might have crushed into my window, but I was there all day and didn't hear anything. He slept in a bucket at night and the next morning I took him to the vet. It was some guys racing pigeon. I fed it gave it water ect...
But no in the morning it wasn't scared when I picked it up. We did pet him a few times and he was cool with it.
>>219889499
They can be real dicks on the beach, coming for your food ect. I used to feed him on the ferry when going to Greece as a a kid, that was cool.

googling taught me not to use full sentences to find stuff so chatgpt probably thinks im learning disabled

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>>219889538
can hear it even now, always fell sorry for them even though the parents are watching to try and kill anyone that gets too close. i admire their spirit.
i gave this one a parma violet as a present.

>>219889616
haha nice one, yeah, cheers
*takes an egg and sneaks it into the bin*

>>219889616
Neoliberal teeth

>>219889656
>get a load of this guy

>>219889616
beer

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>>219889538
>EEEEP EEEEP EEEEP EEEEP EEEEP
>DON'T COME NEAR ME OR MY MUM WILL BATTER YOU

>>219889652
that's a cute pigeon. normally don't like them because they would shit on or lay nests on my balcony. but they are sweet things a lot of the time.
one family tried to nest and after bullying them for a while the head pidge moved the next twig by twig elsewhere it was amazing to see.

Here's a game /brit/:

>Chinese neighbour or Irish neighbour?
>Black fedora atheist neighbour or White Muslim convert neighbour?
>Ukrainian neighbour or Iranian neighbour?
>Indian neighbour or Jewish neighbour?
>Weed addict neighbor or pit bull owner neighbour?

might start an onlyfans with the gf

>>219889713
right
left
left
right
left

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its these crafty buggers for me

>>219889717
Do hardcore latex bondage anal piss play

>>219889713
Irish, black, Ukraine, Jewish, weed

File: for your consideration.mp4 (3.17 MB, 462x820)

3.17 MB MP4

>>219889652
Love pigeonbergs, used to feed them every day and they'd wait by my window and let me pet them and hold them. Couldn't believe how soft their feathers are.

>>219889236
ktim

need to get good at imagination wanks

pepperoni and n'duja pizza down the hatch
first day of dough fermentation so tomorrow's 'za promises to be even better

>>219889713
irish
black
iranian (have enough ukrainians already)
jew
weed

>>219889748
Sent that bughand cunt flying

>>219889713
wheres the black from?

Do Zoroastrians drive mazdas?

>>219889780
is that the Aldi 'zza?

>>219889822
homemade
the context clues were there

>>219889761
*snaps its disease infested neck like a twig *

>>219889832
This girl is so fucking fit to me, I know she's a disaster but the way she just wops her tit out does it for me. I would pledge my life to her. Post full vid so I can get hard once again.

>>219889713
chinese neighbour
black fedora atheist
ukranian neighbour
jewish neighbour
weed addict neighbour (chances are you live next to one anyway)

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>>219889710
It was, kind of miss him, he was cheeky trying to nibble on my plants.
I have a few doves that I leave seeds for sometimes they are also cute.
>>219889761
>used to feed them every day and they'd wait by my window and let me pet them and hold them
Good lad, and yes they are very soft.

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Getting them tatties bombayed

>>219889713
Frankly I'm stuck on the Indian or Jewish. Don't think I'd like either really, all the rest are easy but that one's a sticking point.

sir, make me hard

>>219889874
grim. get them roasted with a few basic herbs

>>219889874
they look quite good actually
i apologise for my remark earlier

sir erection haver

>>219889874
Nice
>pan is not teflon
Based

bombayed bhenchod bombaclaat ballsacks

OH I'M AN ALABAMA NIGGER AND I LOVE TO PICK COTTON, YES I DO, YES I DOOO

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Get him knighted.

>>219889616
wish she'd fart on those eggs before i ate them

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Been looking at Vietnamese brides. Might pick up a couple if I win the Euros this week

>>219889850
you brute

>>219889959
egg on egg is a bit redundant innit?

what's the funniest thing on the telly

are there any places i can go to play with dogs? like cat cafes but with dogs? heroing soon and want to pet some dogs before i go but dont have one myself

>>219890008
Tottenham Hotspur

>>219889951
No, he's a wrong un too. Justice is not monsters killing each other for sport or prison street cred. The whole point of prison is they are denied their evil urges. Get them all hung as soon as they're found guilty

>>219890013
just walk around your local dog walking park i suppose
let them know what your plans are and i'm sure some dog walkers will oblige you

>>219890013
There is a tea house here with cats, I used to go there cause my friend was working there. It was cool.

>>219890035
Easier ways to tell us you're a poof, mate.

>>219890013
why not just get a dog could be good for you

>>219890013
could volunteer at a dog shelter

>>219890051
>hi mate i'm planning to off myself in a few weeks. can i play ball with your dog?

smoking a shite

Was thinking of writing a book but then I realised it would just be shit

>>219890013
Killing yourself is a sin

>>219890141
often come up with grand ideas like this then think exactly that. waste of fucking time innit

>>219890123
yeah that'll do

>>219889963
Hard to go wrong with Vietnamese women. Everyone of them is a Nguyen-er

>>219890141
>>219890168
ktim except with joining a band and making an album

will most likely just be cringe boring shite and get maybe 12 streams on spotify, why even bother

Racism, homophobia, transphobia, will all end overnight once the aliens invade

>>219890197
screm

>>219890141
>>219890168
tried this once and even posted it on /lit/ and got good feedback, before i realised i had actually just come up with the matrix as my idea

>>219890226
xenophobia will run rampant however

>>219890197
how is world book day just haloween

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Day 1 of quitting vaping

I think nicotineberg has me on the ropes lads, I am tweakin' tweakin'

>>219890141
write a cuck porn book

wait toy story isn't a book

>>219890280
going to have a nice cig for you (even though youre a gay vaper)

>>219890310
story innit
like a book
story = book
not hard

>>219890310
we're all books in the end...
just teared up at this actually

>>219890280
STRAIGHT DROOOOOOOP

cuck story, staring YOU

>>219890310
you're thinking of the film jungle book

>>219890264
she doesn't look like she's ever read a book so came up with the next best thing?

>>219890280
quitting vaping was unironically harder than quitting smoking. it's the convenience of it that did for me. only managed to quit it when I literally couldn't vape for over a week because I had the worst cough ever and even the slightest drag would have me coughing a lung up.

>>219889713
irish, white muslim, ukranian, jew, weed

toil bag: prepared
gym bag: prepared
love of a woman to make it all worthwhile: loading...

>will spend majority of my life experiencing nothing but societal decline and misery
>even if by some miracle things got better i'll probably be around 80 years old and won't get to benefit from it anyway

yeah wicked

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comfy in cape town

>>219890280
I'd rather smoke ciggies than vape, I feel like you can vape non stop thee whole day while I can go with 7-8 ciggies a day and I'm fine. But I do want to stop.

>>219890352
no thanks and by the way that fit one from black mirror did 1 (ONE) porn and it was cuck porn but thats to be expected

>>219890352
fucked that up didn't you

>>219890399
hs?

>>219890280
ween off on pouches then when you build up tolerance just ditch them and it's easy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbVGIQIZVUU

>>219890389
anything above 19c makes me want to kys ms that sounds horrible

should I watch the chelsea or man city game

need spunk gremlin gf

*starts going postal in the thread and shooting random posters*

Mousey is the main character of /brit/

*starts going postal in the thread and delivering parcels*

accidentally found myself scrolling twitter for like half an hour
god lord is that site awful. so, so many chuddies that i have to assume they're bots and/or ragebaiters. so many pro-reform and out-and-out racist accounts. this place seems tame by comparison.
though i will say i can still tell birmingham is a shithole, even if its shitty-ness is played up in these posts

Your all so funny

*starts going postal in the thread and delivering random letters*

>>219890471
going to watch city for the novely of actually wanting them to win for once

>>219890498
*cums on your face*

>>219890514
sc

>>219890219
That’s not the spirit
Even if that’s what happens, still worth it

>>219890466
Last summer was 40c for two weeks, I wanted to kms. You can't go outside and have fun, it's 34C at 11-12 at night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktjPv9lMYo0

angry zoomers be like "i'm going dhl"

Something really comfy about getting aches and pains from laying down too much

Garry's Mod 2 is out next month I just can't wait.......!!!!!!!

>>219890526
all i see on there is oriental ladies in their underwear

>>219890584
nurses be like noooo dont lay down too much that makes our job harder

youtube recommending me masterchef videos so I might restart work on the masterchef world waifu list but I've lost all my notes so I'd be starting from square one

going in the shower in a bit because i stink of shit and dried cum

tell you what. England and Finland. That's the only alliance I can bloody well trust

>>219890561
hate it hate it
gets similar here, 35+ all summer long, fans don't help, the government send out heat warnings using the emergency text thing.
feel like i was duped on the promise of this part of the world being a cold, frozen paradise but instead it is fucking roasting 3/4 of the year and maybe if you're lucky you'll get some snow that turns black really fast while ice falls off all the roofs and nearly kills you.

Thinking about the old days ok. I'm allowed to do that as far as I know

im skint

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amogus reference POG!

doing a wee

Making memories x

Don't post generated/AI-edited comments. /brit/ is for conversation between humans.

>>219890650
we love our snow brothers and sisters :DDDDDDDD

don't smoke or drink coffee anymore and still sleep like shit

reminiscing about my wee from a second ago

>>219890368
Yeah the convenience is what does it
I never got into weed because I was never the type to go buy from a dealer all the time
Cigarettes require you to go outside and then you smell of tobacco the whole day and mouth tastes of it too

Vape you just buy it from a corner shop and you can puff anywhere all day long and get your nicotine fix. Absolutely killer, I feel cravings right now because I'm so used to having nicotine mainlined into my system daily for the past 14 months

>>219890434
Sounds like it could work but pouches taste grim, I guess that's the whole point though?

>>219890680
what's this

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It's Frodo and Buffy eating Marmite

been able to grab weed from the shop down the road my entire adult life, still don't smoke that shite

Missoula, Montana

>>219890697
How long?
I stopped coffee 3-4 months ago and I definitely sleep better.
>>219890653
There's 3 Chinese guys that live in the apartment building right across from me same level, they didn't put their AC on one time the whole summer, insane grind mode to save money, there was days where it was 42.

fuck meeee it's only wednesday

>>219890732
just had that on my reccys as well

>>219890741
Who's getting a GF in 2026? (note neither of her fingers are point at you)

wish i was a moron who found the traitors, football, video games etc interesting

might give my life some meaning

>>219890761
smoking 9-10 days, think coffee has been for 2 weeks

how long did it take for you to start sleeping better?

>>219890732
millennial heaven

>>219890767
not me, don't care either way. i'm too old

dunno whether to watch city or chelsea

LADbinble

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>>219890767

We live inside of a dream

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>>219890755
been there. for me it's Helena

>>219888938
if they put foxes on banknotes ill bomb the bank of england. i hate those stupid fucking cunts so much always screaming loud as shit every night when im trying to sleep. most pointless animal in the world, they should be massacred and their flesh should be sold at discount prices at asda

>>219890772
what about philosophy, history, science?

>>219890767
not me (I never leave the house)

chelsea bulls raging
city bulls heinous

>>219890787
>how long did it take for you to start sleeping better?
After 2-3 weeks it was noticeable but I was drinking a cup of instant coffee in the morning with a scoop and half, I don't think it really did anything for me at all energy wise.

>>219890811
she is not pointing at us either. she's pointing just to the side of us

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1.29 MB MP4

>>219890829
sir rosenior doing a gay little hop x
ziedy luv dat

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>>219890819

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>>219890819

don't post leaked content

foxes are so sexy

>>219890829
Tottenham Bulls neutered

my bloody ai girlfriend just left me for some fucking deano

>>219890889
They eat actual dogshit

Lads check online, any site, they just announced HL3!!!

>>219890865
oh my days

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Mathew Street, early 1980s and 2026

>>219890902
why is my wife cooking for them!!

>>219890914
ADONBILIVIT

>>219890819
badger feet clawed this post

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*downs shot*
I want to get a girl who takes SSRIs extremely drunk and have sex with her
sexy foxhuman horse uma...

>>219890761
not seeing the same here. got two vietnamese neighbours (one's a family) and they all pressured their landlord to get AC. when people from a humid hellscape like that start installing AC you know it's bad.
this is the year i get it finally.
that being said one of them doesn't open the one window he has and just keeps it shuttered when he's not storing rubbish on his balcony.
no clue how you do it, from june to september i just avoid outside as much as possible and blast a big massive fan on my face all day.

>>219890890
tottenham bulls on a depressed one yeh?
on a low vibrational ting? yeh? x

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>>219890940

>work out every day at this time
>open up chatGPT, new chat
>tell it im going to go do other things in the first message
>it says it "knows I am doing some heavy lifting"
coincidence? no

>>219890622
Haha, FUCK the nurses

>>219889996
Thought this was a picture explaining the derivative of a product of functions for a moment lmao

>>219890983
mong

>>219890983
man's best mate is a chatbot

>>219890871
>>219890879
>>219890889
>>219890940
may you never cease to shed tears, may your whole family be inflicted with genital cancer, may the rest of your days be filled with unimaginable agony. i just want to sleep in peace you orange rodents

true but im glad I typed all that out

Getting life advice from my good mate Claude Anthropic

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Actor Warwick Davis after being made an Officer of the Order of the British Empire at Windsor Castle (2026)

and the new?

I am going insane

>>219891048
I guess that’s off the table as well

>>219891037
a norman conqueror

>>219891037
midge bastard

>>219891048
what have you done to deserve a new?

HIGH SPEED HDMI (®) CABLE

well about the new, we just don't have the budget

>>219891037
https://youtu.be/m3dZl3yfGpc

>>219891037
stick a rugby h behind him and punt the fucker through the posts

>>219891128
>>219891128

>>219891095
high speed internet access - benny fazio, criminal mastermind (2000 something)