pawasite

>>220355621
they call me inaction man

had a bit of a panic attack in wh smith earlier so had to leave without getting my items
then I went to m&s after calming down, one qt smiled at me and then another asked me to reach an item and smiled at me as well, so I started having another panic attack lol

>>220355646
get a job

>>220355441
Places it's OK to go alone:
>museums
>galleries
>libraries
>markets
>cafes
>pubs (midweek or on Sundays)
>cinemas (Monday-Thursday before 3pm, Friday before 1pm)
>football (home games)

Places it's NOT OK to go alone
>bars
>clubs
>pubs (between Friday night and opening on Sunday morning/lunch)
>cinemas (weekends or on weeknights)
>football (away games)

>>220355646
I thought wh smiths went bankrupt?

>>220355621
grandad got me this for christmas one year

>>220355646
Didn't think wh smith existed outside of airports any more

just shit myself in woolworths

>>220355656
>>220355659
slightly misleading, it's not technically a Smiths anymore but I still know it as one

New rorke song

Rorke's a fucking mong
Rorke's a fucking spastic
He's never shagged cause his willy's like a matchstick

>the pawasite exists awite!!

>>220355655
i could never go to a pub alone
just can't do it
i've tried to do it sitting in a spoons beer garden and i was just so self-conscious

>>220355594
Well i'm not, but my father is and his dad was. I'm a second son.

>>220355595
I don't have one yet. I'm the spare but I reckon I can at least get a Knighthood sorted.

>>220355699
buy a royal mail uniform from a charity shop and pretend you've just finished a hard day of annoying pensioners whilst supping a cool pint of timmy taylors boltmaker

Come over very dark and cloudy all of a sudden
Hope it doesn't rain as I don't have a coat and I'm wearing light grey chinos

Tony has raped your tiny mind lad.

Mousenonce went to a special needs school btw

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Mustering the energy to drive myself to toilberg’s

>>220355705
Pleb

might become a grime mc
not sure

Simon Gay Porn Jordan

>>220355723
another day
another dollar

>>220355655
You can go to the cinema alone in the evening. It's dark in the room anyway. Assuming you mean a cinema and not a movie complex like Odeon or Vue.

>>220355722
It was special kneads, actually, as he worked in an artisan bakery

>>220355712
honestly a good idea
even better to dress like a brickie or construction worker

My pub mates are actually in their 50s and I met them going to a pub alone, even got my job through one of them. It happened because one of them asked me about the book I was reading.

>>220355723
alri TroubadourTwat lad

more than a few nonce's in this thread

>>220355705
>my father is and his dad was
No they weren't

Horrid phone call with an apprenticeship training provider where I sounded like a gibbering idiot and will probably now be put in the bin with no hope of progression into a role. Doesn't help that I admitted to doing an apprenticeship before and dropping out in a few days. Wouldn't have told them but they asked me specifically if I had done one, even if I had dropped out, and these people seem to have ways of finding this stuff out anyway, no point lying.

a few nonce's what?

>>220355646
Got to sort that out lad. I got the odd panic attack but its in times when i'm exceptionally stressed. It takes hours to come down from so I expect you had anxiety rather than panic.

>>220355744
You should at least have the sense to know he’s completely right.

>>220355766
What was your excuse for dropping out?

rorke sitting at the bar reading a book

i don't know sorry

>>220355792
tommy robinson's autobiography

>>220355792
I do this in pubs but not at the bar

>>220355792
I'm not a rorke

rorke being pedantic

>>220355773
I do drink a lot of caffeine and I hadn't eaten much, plus the lights were bright af like in an interrogation or medical theatre. I felt a bit disoriented and started sweating like a pig, plus the queue was big and quite cramped so I felt closed in. then I left and immediately calmed down a bit. the two qt's made me anxious again though. weird as after a few pints I'm happy to speak to them

rorke being altruistic down the pub

>>220355810
pubs have bars rorke

Goodness sake you all talk such fucking SHITE!

>>220355744
Why do you think everyone who doesn’t like you is one person? Why do you think your mind jumps to that defence mechanism? Pretty interesting isn’t it

rorke and leftypol bonding over their shared love of 90s hip hop

>>220355855
shut the FUCK up daniel

90% of all posts made in this general are just one liners sharted into the thread
There’s barely any real conversation and most of the time, if it starts, people will get angry at you

>>220355646
Reminds me of the time I absolutely royally fucked it with a girl in the shops. Both standing at the crisp self, looking to complete my meal deal when I grabbed the max walkers salt and vinegar. It was caught on a pack of Doritos so she held it down while I grab my packet. We both looked at each other and laughed. I said "heh that was a team effort thanks pal". She then walked with me and used the self service machine next to me while chatting about nonsense. I paid for mine first then she turned to me and said "if you do this every morning you should get a boots card or if not I'll take your points every morning haha!".

Me being the autistic freak I am and panicking replied "aw it's ok pal I just can't be bothered getting my phone out to scan it because I'm lazy haha" and then I walked away.

I am a fucking idiot.

>>220355846
Yeah I mean I don't sit at the bar I sit on a table

>>220355879
what do you want to talk about?

>>220355724
Rude. My brothers not well and has no heirs. Not that I want the title, but you know..

>>220355764
Believe what you like. I went to a school 500 years old and was on the first 15.

not seeing rorke in the street in his matalan jeans, catching print and seeing he’s an A :skull:

>>220355890
School children.

>>220355766
ah well another 2 weeks of UC and full rent rebate what can ya do eh lad way she goes

back to the drawing board *wink*

>>220355879
It's because right-wing thought is built upon a house of cards, and any intellectual inquiry risks its collapse.

rorke sitting on a table reading a book at the pub

>>220355787
It was in construction and the one I'm aiming for is IT so I just said that I'd be more cut out for something more academic rather than physical. There's no good excuse really other than the work was stupidly tough.

>>220355890
Dunno don’t put me on the spot

>>220355899
>I went to a school 500 years old and was on the first 15.
No you didn't, no you weren't.

>>220355912
I get basic rate UC and live at home so I don't get rent rebate. Actually I give a large part of my UC to my mother because we are poorfags and can't really afford the mortgage we are paying, so I'm left pretty much skint every month. Even apprentice wages would be a step up.

>>220355916
Construction apprenticeships are rough. Don't let it get you down mate.

>>220355888
She literally is just being friendly with you lad

>>220355951
I should've asked for her phone number and you know it.

Why do millennials in their 30s look like they’re in their 50s? They are such a cursed generation what even happened to them?

rorke smiling gleefully, lying prone on the table with his hands resting on his palms and his feet kicking in the air, his copy of The Joy of Gay Sex by his elbows

>>220355899
T. Bender de la Pole, baronet Gayton

>>220355956
20 year olds were balding and looked in their mid 40s in the 1950s

>>220355951
she obviously wanted to be his baby

I still remember going into CEX with my ex to get a charger for her switch and there was a really fit goth girl at the cash register and I sperged out, stuttered and almost cried trying to ask about it. In front of my girlfriend too so she wasn’t happy

>>220355942
I only went for it out of desperation because it was what accepted me, I knew it wouldn't be for me. The work was brutal. Every other person was some albanian guy built like a brick shithouse. Not work for a little gimp like me. I have a good laugh when I see adverts for these apprenticeships and they plaster young women all about, as if you see a solitary woman on a construction site outside of the office block or the solitary old bird who cleans the bog.

>>220355956
worst diet out of any generation, binge drinking culture was a thing for them when they were in their teens, self care culture wasn’t a thing for them so most of them don’t know about moisturising and supplements etc, they’re also shorter on average than us so they look kind of goblin mode and a lot of the men are balding now at their high age which makes them look way older

my soy sauce and msg has been delivered

>>220355956
They don't, you've just seen a few bad pictures of millennials and fixated on them.

>>220355988
foren muck

>>220355956
Tired of hearing both sides of this
>us millennials look like we’re in our 20s in our 30s!
>why do millennials look like they’re in their 40s in their 30s?
it’s obvious they just look like any other generation

Mental how much I fucking love goth girls. Used to work with one but I'm a fat ugly mess so that was a no go for me.

>>220355956
I keep hearing that millenials either look very old or very young. I hear the same about gen z. It leads me to believe that there is no particular trend with either generation, and people are just picking outliers and making a generalisation.

>>220355994
well im cooking foren slop ent i

>>220356005
what's the need when british cuisine is superior?

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Check out this cheeky girl in my house.

Right, that's it, this shall be my last post here. I won't see any of your 'see you tomorrow' replies. Goodbye.

>>220355998
Had 5 girlfriends in my life and all 5 of them were goths
They don’t make great girlfriends tbqh

>>220356011
sick of these cunts thinking they can live in MY house and not pay rent

>>220356017
Why?

>>220356016
see you in two minutes mate x

>>220355933
Yes I did. But not in the front pack, I was full back, number 15. But would cover as 2/5-8, centre and wing.

>>220356018
Did ask about your parents opinion of you, mate.

>>220356010
that may be so but i like a variety

>>220356044
nooooo I meant to type "didn't"

>>220356023
I have never in my life met one that wasn’t completely mental. I was a goth in secondary and arguably still am now so trust that I have experience with them. Utterly deranged most of the time

>>220356015
doesn't that game map your environment for the US government or something
like it has some confirmed connection to some agency or another

>>220355865
would rorke be east coast and leftypol west coast

>>220356057
But I want a mental gf who is a freak in the sheets

>>220355888
Shit that lingers on the mind in pooling of self-hatred

uncs crashing out when you remind them theyre old and they look it

I'm thinking of jelqing my gentleman sausage and creating a romance explosion soon

Any other lads get so tired they nearly fall asleep when having a wank?

accidentally sold my nan's soul to the devil when i was meant to sell my vauxhall corsa

>>220356068
you think you want that until you have to deal with a crazy bipolar bitch every day

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nth for the holodem

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>I am still a goth

Went to a povvo school me, best friend was born so his mum could move out of the council flat into a home, distinctly recall a teacher asking us what our dreams were and a girl saying to live off bennies like her mum

I will lamp your granddad

>>220356068
They’re not usually that freaky either. Though they are very beautiful and I love tradgoth women

>>220356071
would break your spindly zoom zoom limbs in half if you uttered that in my presence

>>220356081
My fetish is having a woman angry at me but still wants to ride me at night

>>220356103
how old are you now spainers? must be pushing 40 yeah?

>>220355983
I once worked on a site with a woman welder. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was big (for a woman), butch, and brown (was a Maori). I asked the lads there and they said she was alright.

uncleberg only here 5 minutes and he's already talking about the UFO he saw back in 1997. FFS it's Monday, give it a rest you demented old bellend.

>>220356122
keep it english, yeah?

>>220356076
jelqing your sosig shouldnt be that tiring

>>220356122
was just saying this down the pub

>>220356122
haha yeah mate, I'll have a special fried rice x

You think you want that until you get a plate pinged at your your head when you’re sleeping

>>220355956
My hair is greying and I stopped bothering with contact lenses so I wear specs now.

>>220356128
youre just jealous because you never saw a ufo

>>220356115
go and jestermaxx your mum mate

>>220356153
Your mum's an unidentified fatty so yeah I have seen one.

>>220356018
I don't mind them. She can live rent free and breed me an army of spiders. I have a house inspection in 2 weeks so i'll be hoovering away the old webs and will need some new ones.

TAKE COVER! MOVE LIKE IT’S WORLD WAR 3!
SPAKI IDENTIFIED IN AREA OF OPERATIONS
DOGSHIT ZINGERS INTO POSTING CP LIKELY

Daddy long legs are getting bigger and spiders are now neon coloured. Climate change is real.

>>220356076
ktim. I reckon my willard is so big my blood pressure goes down when I get a boner and I fall unconscious

>>220356088
grim

>>220356190
yeah the climate changes mate, didn't you know that the whole planet used to be covered in ice?

>>220356193
Any proof going?

>>220356193
that explains a lot

might start goonmaxxing

>>220356211
must have been well cold

/brit/ cries out for a picture of the french bloke’s knob

for me it's rorkemaxxing

>>220355941
Talk to your mum about setting up an arrangement to start charging you rent so you can claim the same amount via the housing element in your UC claim.
To get an idea of how much the rent should be set at, have a look at some rental listings for your area on Spareroom or Facebook.
Normally mum would be expected to pay income tax and possibly NI on this rental income, but the government gives everyone a £7500 tax free allowance on any income earned from renting a furnished bedroom in your house, and she wouldn't even need to fill in a self-assessment as the allowance is applied automatically.

lots of pathetic incel losers in here tonight

>>220356274
If you left there'd be none

>>220356274
are you talking to your bedroom

2 dogshit incel zingers

Brits really bring this general down
Should just be us and the Aussies
Brits just don’t understand our trans-pacific shared humor and bond

Another dogshit zinger from spaki

>>220356274
it's 2pm you fucking drongo

raping my own arse at 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001mph

>>220356324
fucking yelping

Some of you lot have to be younger than 18 I refuse to believe an adult male finds some of this shit funny

>>220356318
spaki owns your mind. sad

>>220356317
Yanks are not only the worst posters on this general but the worst posters on the entire site, by far.

>>220356337
/brit/ is millennial humour central

grow up the lot of you

https://www.youtube.com/watch/dNYe0QApWGk

>>220356351
grow up

>>220356347
And is this funny to you>>220356324

*grows*

>>220356337
Oh, should we do another post about poo? Maybe wanking? Maybe post a political meme from 2016 that EVERYONE thinks is embarrassing but will
Still get 6 (You)’s? Fuck off

melty!
melty!
in the /brit/ thready!

>>220356381
Unironically agree
Hate people bringing their dogs into the gym, bars, or cafes

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>A supermarket in Orkney has been giving away bananas after accidentally ordering an estimated 38,000 of them - almost double the entire population of the islands.

a lot of you are way too old to be posting here, get a family and a job and fuck off

>>220356315
for a limited time only at kfc (karachi fried chicken)

>>220356327
Sick party that was

>>220356315
you're a foreigner, gtfo

grow down

>>220356406
30 is the new 20 im still just a young lad

Billy Connolly just died :(

>>220356406
I'm only 31 years young, life has basically just begun.

Imagine. If you will, a 30 year old incel neet. He gets extremely upset when people on 4chan laugh at something other than the same jokes he’s seen on repeat since he was 16.
Such a person couldn’t REALLY exist could they?

>>220356459
I'm not a neet

>>220356459
Why are you posting your bio

>Imagine. If you will,
fucked that up didnt you

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>>220356485

Why is Spaino back all of a sudden?

>>220356337
my man talking shit, sounds like he has a blown out rusty sherrifs badge, you batty man. you'd get Angela Merkled irl

Genuinely can’t imagine posting here at 30 years old though. That’s how you know you’re fucked

>>220356536
type of shit people be posting at 29 and 364 days old

>>220356536
it’s worse to post on here when you’re younger

>>220356536
I'm 35 what do you think about that

>>220356516
don’t think the spanish flag poster is him

what are we meant to do at 30 then just log off from /brit/ one last time and go into the wild to start a family

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>Giancarlo Cruz-Michael Stanton was born in Panorama City, California. Stanton's father is of Irish descent and his mother is African-American with some small Puerto Rican descent.

have ye a valediction boyo

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>>220356599

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sucking...a..golf...ball

You can be here in your thirties but the second you start whinging about how you miss oldtranny humour or whatever, you should be fired out of a cannon and into a retirement home

>>220356579
Busy at the head of your company of course

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WHATS HAPPENING FORUM

>>220356628
what the fuck is that

Why do autistic people relate to life and other people via Family Guy references and imagery?

rorke type beat

>>220356652
Dunno. Why do autistic people post in the /brit/ thread despite clearly being from the USA?

Scott Mills

>>220356652
not sure
i know one autistic guy and he is always quoting movies and stuff
he sometimes slips into an american accent when talking normally too

bumhole is right itchy

>>220356643
What Irish men find extremely attractive

>>220356652
I'm not sure if that counts as autistic.

a/s/l please
40
yes
romania but soon to be in UK

are there any females here? reply if you like dark tall handsome mens

Sir Scott Mills

>>220356084
i don't remember holo being so unpopular

>>220356699
wahey classic 190

>>220356699
bro think he on 2006 Craigslist

>>220356699
hii

Mr money bags has returned it would seem

Had a fuck buddy relationship with one girl that went to sleep with Family Guy on every night
she had big tits thoever

>>220356726
I actually got cute pussy through craigslist and gumtree

>>220356735
>she had big tits thoever
nice

>>220356327
if your early to mid teens didn't look like this, you're probably a scumbag degenerate today

Fucking screaming

>>220356729
hey how are u asl please, though you are uninhabitated in UK I once had Asian gf
>>220356726
don't hate the player hate the game
>>220356725
what it means

>>220356771
are you just not going to stream ever again then

The mousenonce cries out as it strikes you

>>220356745
Thoughts on mousey?
Thoughts on ziedbolg (sp?)

pissing my bf's poo out me cock

>>220356797
Belgium is creative

>>220355812
you lot getting bullied
as per usual the cowardly Mouse won't bother going in there to protect your honour

Uh oh toby tantwum

screaming and shitting out my window

>>220356819
scweaming

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyf79SI0U9Q

but we're meant to believe "the parasite" is worse

wemembew to wepowt the pawasite

Wow his post count is so big~~

>>220356886
They can both be bad but you are complicit by refusing to do your civic duty when he spams

Remember crazy frog?

Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile

Sir Harold Shipman

They should invent a vacuum to suck out those poos that don’t come out

Most people who post on /brit/ are millennials
im 34
Yes im an uncle.

+1 to my arse self-rape count

>>220356973
Hello, Uncle

might pop a pill and get a massage/shag a chinky prossie
i need to go into town to the sportsdirect anyway

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>mfw getting as much UC/PIP as I did when I was working at the warehouse

>>220356987
One day, when the King is George VII, my niece will call me ld Uncle George.
As in "kids stay away from old Uncle George".

>>220357005
What if mousey gave you a gumjob?

Alri lads time to write to the studio where I used to work to tell them Im ready to get back to work. Hopefully they will say they are full so I can continue neeting, wish me luck

>>220357008
Think id rather work a warehouse than be a spacker.

>>220356973
im 22. if you could go back in time and say one thing to your 22 year old self, what would it be

>>220357069
Im not a retard just got ptsd

rorke doing the crazy frog

Was going to make bone broth but it seems more hassle than it's worth

i've been watching
i've been waiting
in the shadows
all my life

>>220357090
It only gets worse

Many of you are utterly feckless.

>>220357090
Invest in Bitcoin nigga

Why don’t you just get a buzz cut and look masculine

rorke shaking his junk in the trunk to despacito

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>Small Soldiers (2/10) Movie CLIP - Activating the Troops (1998) HD ...

>>220357169
i did and i do, but looking masculine means nothing when im a pathetic incel on the inside that refuses to so much as make eye contact with coworkers at toil

How many push ups can you do?

>>220357008
broken system
broken britain

>>220357217
none, whenever I try I keep pushing the earth down

>>220357008
What do you spend it on since you're only allowed to have 6k total savings?

just had a wank to a lad sucking his own knob while a female sucked his balls beneath him

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committing slow suicide through constant boozing

>>220357247
Rent, food, weed and magic mushrooms. Might go travelling as well

yeh?

>>220357169
ive got a massive head

>>220357289
nae

mad how I struggle to get PIP when I can't even socialise with other people yet people who can function fine can get on PIP no problem

>>220357261
:/

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>>220357272
You enjoying the Glenlivet Tim?

Scousers insist on using their stupid slang around people they know aren’t Scouse

>>220357309
sadly you have to lie in order to get PIP

>>220357334
I don't spend time in their company so I wouldn't know

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New Posters for Kane Parsons 'Backrooms'

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>>220357322
yes

>>220357322
Does he think those alcohol free beers are healthier? They're full of carbs and sugar

>>220357309
This>>220357340
Just “exaggerate” your symptoms or try and get a anxiety disorder or ptsd diagnosis from a gp

>>220357322
I know that stella looks to be the zero percent stuff, but the whiskey... Tim's allowed to booze?

get rid of mancs, scousers and brummies and suddenly everything gets better

someone post that picture of tim as a young man

>go on iplayer
>first programme front and centre of the frontpage is a programme about a black man and a white woman having babies
ah yes

someone tell tim about ozempic
his physical health problems are obesity related

>>220357377
You seen size of him? Dont think health is on his mind, dont think anything rattles around there any more
One brain cell bouncing around like the DVD menu

>>220357398
fair do's, have to play the broken game

>>220357441
kek

>>220357441
yeh his belly is fat and distended isn't it

>>220357433
and that’s a bad thing.. why..?

if tim lost weight, he could go back to living independently in his flat
but he seems intent on getting fatter in the care home

the new, migrate when ready:

pooberg made a big splash and now my arse is soaked with my own piss

>>220355888
Definitely just being friendly with you, lad. That being said, most of these so-called 'women' are only friendly until you assert yourself and badger them relentlessly into giving you what you want (be it Doritos or sex sex sex sex sex)

Should be illegal for southerners to move up north
Infinitely cheaper up here for them
They live like fucking lords
Literal parasite class

>>220357504
I always make a little toilet net for pooberg so it doesn't splash

I fucked that girl later that night and we both had a good laugh about the autistic man in the shop

>>220357514
>go north
>find a white, stable community
>wow everyone is so friendly and welcoming and it's so safe
>but the curries aren't up to much
>maybe if we just invite *one* paki family to cook for us, that wouldn't be so bad?
>
>okay, time to write my piece for the guardian about the decline in living standards in rural communities

unexpected rorke in the shagging area

>>220357555
kek

i used to get made fun of by people in the street when i was younger. it doesn't happen now though, i think because people are not as aware of their surroundings as they used to be

so much anger lately just wanna punch stuff

>>220357552
Don’t know how you managed to bring pakis into this but this is basically true

>>220357572
same but I think it's cos I look a little scary so hardly anyone really tries to speak to me

>>220357572
Same but it was men in their 20s and 30s rolling down their window to call me and my friends cutters or emos
Which was true. Obviously.

Very low T me, very docile

fetching my grandad's old paki beating stick down from the loft

just did a yawn

>>220357555
lol

>>220357660
get in x

The worst part about paki’s is the vile, tacky houses and businesses they make
It’s extremely amusing to see pristine looking, soulless buildings just swimming in a street of rubbish though. Since they cannot clean up after themselves

>>220357686
bloody tiring innit

>>220357696
thought muslims were meant to be clean

>>220357696
they are very similar to gypsies in that regard

>>220357711
>>220357711
>>220357711
the new as it were

bollocks won't stop itching think I might have something yknow

>>220357696
Post examples

NEW (Non-Irish)

>>220357715
>>220357715
>>220357715