Worst. April Fools. Ever. edish
Illmatic is a pretty good album
I love you bros
>>220410836:D
Drank some of my water
>The mother of a four-year-old boy has said her "heart is broken" after he was diagnosed with a form of childhood dementia.
>>220410874not funny is it. if one of your loved ones developed a terminal illness you wouldn't be laughing would you?
>Trump to give primetime address on Iran warWhat's he up to?
>>220410874is the man in this picture crying? :(
>>220410833What about tango in the night is that a good album?
>>220410905bane
>>220410905Bane?
>terminal illness
>>220410905CIA Agent Bane
>>220410901Closing in on more military action over the weekend when the markets close just to run away again on Monday morning
its just the autist there as of now
>>220410905CIA
>>220410941Who is this Japanese man?
Do poodle and quasi poodle dogs know we look at their arseholes when they're walking in front of us?
yummers
I'm Jewish but I haven't got any Jewish benefits, how do I claim them?
>>220410905He looks like my uncle Peter
>After earning three promotions to reach the semi‑professional Isthmian Premier League, Hashtag United co‑founders Spencer Owen and his brother Seb Carmichael‑Brown are asking to be demoted for the 2026‑27 seasonDisgraceful.
>>220411000Tell a producer you're making a film about evil things white people did in the past.
>>220411016Is that disgraceful?
hi guysx
imagine throwing away your entire career for a night with the female version of Charlie Kirk
>>220410905spongbob big guy
alri
Test.
>>220411054>xavatar/signature use
poo
>>220411071As you get older you've got to take it where you can get it.
Pleasant evening really
I wonder how many unique jokes there are on packets of Penguins
>>220411071There was another royal navy admiral who shagged the brunette from ABBALad
>>220411138imagine getting down on all fours and galloping towards random people whilst snarling like a dog
>>22041114823
>>220411138who are those people?
any of you lads tried tongkat?
don't even know why i'm wanking anymore
>>220411138this Wales?
These anime captchas are easy as fuck thanks to Google Lens
i’ve been taking the chinese pill recently. love drinking green tea and breathing deeply to enter a state of serene calm
>>220411193Chink cunt
can you set up a stall at a car boot sale without a car
>>220411184did one to billie eilish ai scat porn earlierwasn't even that horny, just stumbled across it and wanted to see if it could make me spunk
rorke peng
>>220411212stumble across where?
>>220411212Strange reason to do it tbqhwyl
>>220411071Have you seen the state of him mate?Anyway, is this tart getting put in the slammer or what
>>220411212Not really on is it
>>220411185No it's Harrogate
>>220411207yeah
Got a fucking pony captcha
as of tomorrow i will just go to the shop every day and buy food for the day on a whim. vibe eating one could say
Ready the oven baconHere comes the rude boy Jamaicanhttps://youtu.be/BrBpewHG-wI
>>220411207Gonna carry it all on your back like a gurkha?
>>220411223just slipped and fell into some
yeah well poo
https://youtu.be/svwJTnZOaco?si=05HMbVXx36qaWBHf
moshi moshi poo desu
>>220411262alri rich cunt. im here buying 1 big bag of rice and mixing it in bowls with ketchup
>>220410800
>>220411293my poos look like this when my piles are acting up
poo wanking
>>220411293Browns love their porn-induced illnesses
>>220411138Peter Hitchens writing an angry tweet demanding that spring/summer evening walks like this be slightly darker
poo induced illness
>>220411306not my problem
going to get myself an Easter egg tomorrowx
>>220411293hate those whores who larp as wholesome
Every time I go outside and see a wog in my head I go "there's a wog"
>>220411410that not nice
>>220411410I think worse but I've started whispering to myself as well and I'm worried it will turn into full blown tourettes
>>220411293What I find funny about this, is the screenshot is intentional. As in the black man is showing his "bigger sausage". However, the woman is showing her smaller sausage, and it's like...you don't have a sausage bitch. you're a girl. So it doesn't make complete sense
They need to start doing the Latin Mass again in every parish
got the barbour waxed on
Just logging on lads, what actually is the april fools? I don't see anything.Oh... just had to name an obscure anime character. This is going to be painful, might fuck off til tomorrow.
nth for the holodem
eating poo
>>220411442i only had to do it once
>>220411410do this except think 'catberge!' everytime i see a cat on my incel walks
catbergé easter egg
>>220411442Anime website rorke
rorke singing 'erika' on x factor
Was sitting by a pond in the park, geese and ducks everywhere. Pair of Canada geese were by my feet for an hour or so. Just as they were wandering off, one did a little frrrt of poo on the ground. Now this is where you have to embrace agency in life lads, because I am not lying when I tell you I, out of curiousity, genuinely dipped my fingers in it and licked it and swallowed it. And you know what? Not even bad. Just tasted like mushy, watery weetabix or museli, with few seeds mixed in. Wish I was lying. Genuinely just off the deep end at this point.
>>220411517Hi
>>220411457yeah I'm seeing that now. It's not making me do it again. That has to have been the worst april fools ever, they really aren't trying any more. The last good one I remember was the vanilla/chocolate/caramel etc battle. Actually that's the only good one I remember.
>>220411388xx
Take the piss
A special Muslim hate crime helpline will encourage reporting of incidents even without ‘evidence or certainty’ that they have happened. Alongside the new ‘anti-Muslim hostility’ definition, this is an invitation to widespread weaponised reporting of ‘hate’, where for many the process alone will be punishment.
>>220411453hope your mum gets dementia
>>220411427Happened to me a couple timesMy mouth goes off before my brain can think, especially when they're being rude cunts
https://x.com/xernue/status/2039177722619122084whys this lowkey adorable
does anyone want to watch walker texas ranger with me?
>>220411510can't be goin around eating goose poo lad, ya might get sick
we here at brit LOVE ai slop
>>220411553Who cares, they aren't even going after not crime hate incidents anymore. Unless I've done something illegal ahmed can fuck off.
so you guys like poo and stuff?
>>220411598no never heard of it until your post but it looks shite x
>>220411517Carlybender
imagine the smell
Feeling adidas tracksuit energy today. Like I want to put on a full Adidas tracksuit and go down to the chippy or something
>>220411630
90% of having a gf is just grabbing her arse all the timeI don't know what I'm expecting to find back there. Gold? The fountain of youth?Nevertheless when she's alone with me her arse isn't safe. I am a habitual arse grabber.
we're all fae somewhere...
>>220411665indeed. just for some of us that somewhere is motherwell and for others it’s angola or mirpur
>>220411664ever shag her up the arse?
my parcel was at my local DPD office yesterday now it's 200 miles away what the fuck are they playing at
Walker's on at 8Never seen T.J. Hooker. We can watch that first at 7pm
>>220411664ktim but I suck on her chebs
can i have sex
>>220411725errr mate that's illegal
>>220411722one of the BAMEs probably stole it ladmy aunt shipped her carbon fibre bike with DPD and it got stolen by a warehouse worker
12 multipack of sardines came in the post today
bro said it tasted like "mushy, watery weetabix or museli, with few seeds mixed in"
>>220411664baste arse clutching patriot
>>220411722driving your underage looking imported asian sex doll to the police i reckon
>>220411770Um
Getting a mix of more verification not requireds than usual, a sprinkling of standard captchas and three times doing the meme captcha, two of which it showed me the same one, and the other one it showed me being a character I did not know so I had to do another countdown.Not really into it.
>>220411630>Eurovision Song Contest Asiahuh?
>>220411718absolutely not you VILE pervert
>>220411770i see the producers chickened out on the tail
my gf slaps my arse a lot
>>220411664stick your finger up her bumhole and see if she gives out a little squeal
>>220411763Corpeng. Better be skin on, bone in and served in olive oil.
>>220411770why does it look like shit
>>220411664wish i had a gf to squeeze bum of
yanks me like "peyton momma made tater tots and i need the turlet"
might get a mullett, a solo moustache and an hawaian shirt
>>220411770More lines on her face than in the wrinkles of my arsehole
>>220411833you can squeeze mine if you'd like mate x*presents arse*
More intelligence in his little finger than in the whole of the Irish parliament
>>220411840the midlife crisis special
>>220411848fuck off yours smells of poo
>>220411849why do some wear this cheeky little hat and others the big hat?
>>220411849what's that thing on his head? some kinda hat?
this is fae matilda...
>>220411836Shelf filters are where its at
>>220411849Why are you hyping up some random brown fella?
>>220411848*shoots you in the face*
I don’t know if this war is the right call, and we won’t all agree with what’s happening. But at least we can understand it. Then Iran’s prime minister tried to nationalise their oil, to take it back from British corporations. We didn’t like that. So in 1953, we helped overthrow him and replace him with the Shah.The Shah was controversial. So in 1979, liberal college students led a revolution to overthrow him. What they hoped for was freedom. What they got was the Islamic Republic. The Republic executed thousands of political prisoners, including those same students. In 1979, they held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. Night after night, they paraded American citizens on camera and tortured them off camera. Now, you need to understand this about the Islamic Republic: they aren’t rational geopolitical actors. They are religious fanatics who welcome death. The Constitution lists their Messiah, a figure who disappeared over a thousand years ago, as head of state. They believe he will only come back at the end of the world, so that’s what they want. That’s why they fund Hamas and Hezbollah and have killed Americans worldwide. They aren’t logical. They’re ideological. For the last two decades, they’ve pursued two weapons to contest the West: nukes and terrorism. Obama got them to agree not to build nukes for 15 years in exchange for removing sanctions. But that gave them more money, which they gave to terrorists instead of their citizens. Trump removed the nuclear deal and put back sanctions. That gave them less money for terrorists, but pushed them toward nukes.You don’t want war, but you also don’t want them getting nukes, right? But how do you prevent the nukes without risking the war? Do you keep playing nuclear poker and hope they bluff for the next 20 years? Or do you flip the table?Our interests and the Iranian people’s interests are aligned. Now we have a chance to make it right.
>>220411533Was that the one where the ending was a link to a Rick Roll? I thought the end was kind of bullshit. Like the whole day was this huge competition, and the prize was a fucking rick roll. very anti-climactic
>>220411895sup mouldie
>>220411770Arr Syd x
>>220411836This kind of zoomer humour is honestly kind of racist, because its premised upon the absurdity of a rapper being smart enough to care about this.
>>220411770you are destined to a life of sin and may hell find its wicked way to you if it has not yet
>>220411943bradscrea
Turn on Sky Arts, Tales of the Unexpected is starting
>>220411942bizarre reponse
>>220411933ok and racism is funny
Ziedy is now fixated on…. The Iran war. Probably because Iran is a majority Muslim country and the prophet muhammed was gangbanged by black men
>>220411967>watching scheduled tv programswhat fucking decade are you living in
https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/1s92fql/my_son_pleasured_himself_in_front_of_gemini_live/
>>220411897It's fine that's what april fools should be about. Either let me have fun with it or piss me off, don't just make me go "huh, that's different"
>>220411967Is it about me getting a gf?
>>220411989>I can literally see push notifications telling me people are booking my services through my website, but I can't view any details about them.>It's taunting me about jobs which have been booked, and I have no way to contact these people to let them know I can't reply to them or undertake the work.>I dont' even know if deposits are being paid because I'm locked out of my business bank account until the post arrives tomorrow.
that's not even a real character fuck off
>>220411989These things happen
>>220411973Yeah, just think its interesting.
The Israeli parliament voted in favour of hanging imprisoned Palestinians
>>220411943
>>220411977people can have other interests
>>220411943fucking poo paki screeching
weli i've eaten and i'm still in a terrible mood. guess i'll just kill myself
>>220411989how'd she find out it was him I'd have never admitted to that deary me
>>220411989If this is actually real, this retard deserves it for putting all his important shit on a fucking google account with no other cloud or local backups. I barely trust google to remember my tranny porn logins, let alone anything important.
>>220411995>Shatterproof: Ellen is trapped in a loveless marriage with her wealthy husband. But her plan to kill him backfires when the hitman she hires becomes friendly with the target
>>220412016fucking shrieling
>my tranny porn logins
>>220411943This could be me, but my Dad laughs at the bradley pics I show him.
>>220411989nothing on that subreddit is real
right then guess i'm off to sainos's
>>220412056
I can understand not believing in Jesus Christ but to deny Gods existence is genuinely retarded. Reality had a first cause that had nothing preceding it and always existed. >uhhh i can’t see this transcendent first mover in his totality with my own 5 senses and scientists haven’t proved it in a lab therefore it’s wrong
>>220412083im just backgot my boozeaholgoing to get a little on the massively fucking pissed side
>>220412053he admitted it after everyone's accounts got banned
>>220412098Pointless talking philosophy here m8
>>220412099tempting me to do the same heremight stop me crossdress wanking if i get smashed and play vidya instead
>>220411138what's going on here? some sort of vortex into an alternative reality?
>>220412112mental they banned his full household didn’t know they could do that
Sam Harris is so stupid. He's just smart enough to fool even stupider normies into thinking he's a deep intellectual.He just says things like "Could you restate your premise?" and his dumb chimpanzee audience is like woooaaaaahhhhh dude that's like so philosophical
>>220412112Why would all their accounts be linked anyway? Why are they all using one tablet like poorfags?
>>220412149blinded by the sheer amount of british culture eminating from this post
>>220412160>>220412137likely IP related
>>220412098nothing must necessarily, instantly collapse into something voila, the universe
>>220412059watching sky arts
Coachella 2026The XX and Interpol get second line billing. And a Radiohead exhibit at the bottom!
feel sickate something dodge for lunch perhapsquorn fake ham no doubt
Mad how the simulation theory of the universe is basically the same thing as religion except you believe that our God/Gods are some alien creature that looks like a praying mantis instead of an old White man with a beard who lives in the sky
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yj634ml71o>My daughter has childhood dementia and may not live past 16>Just before her fourth birthday Sophia Scott's parents were told she had a condition that causes childhood dementia.>They walked away with a single sheet of paper and were advised to make the most of the time they had left with her.>Now 15, Sophia can no longer speak and cannot walk unaided. She may not live past her 16th birthday.>Her dad Darren and mum Amanda are now separated but both help care for Sophia.
>>220412197you ate mould and are now wondering why you have a tummy ache
Sam Harris talks in the NPR voice.
>>220412197thought it took longer to feel wick if you eat something dodgeberg?
>>220412196As a House fag only Prospa looks enticing thereInterpol also for the early 2000s nostalgia
why would you wank on cam to an LLM do they have JOI add-ons
>>220412197quorn causes stomach cramps if you eat a lot of ithad quorn from spoons once and was woken up at night, shame cos theyre quite nice
>>220412206Mental how you would never have a child with dementia if you just didn't have a child. Antinatalism wins again.
>>220412183why? if there was a vacuum, why must it collapse? this is what physicists claim. that there was nothing but somehow the laws of gravity and quantum mechanics also existed in this void of absolute zero which then coalesced to form the universe. which is absurd on the face of it. 0 into 1 instead of an eternal 1 creating things, of which our universe would be one of those creations. other physicists say there is a contraction model of universes inflating and collapsing in one each other going on for eternity. but that’s entirely wishful thinking, unproven and fails to explain why there is that pattern at all. or why it should reliably create universes with consistent physical laws. to me, a lot of atheist cosmology is just trying to avoid the elephant in the room. the uncaused cause. the eternal thing. the “cosmic principle”. God. doesn’t even have to be the God of the bible. but some God like preceding thing.
"ming ting wong tang pang wong pow" - The Chinese
>>220412285screeeenen
>>220412310Peng
>>220412310Confucius say: Oral sex make one's whole day, anal sex make one's whole week.
I'm a propa mentalist like
>>220412330that's an ai filter
>>220412361dinosaurs could not eat rocks this is misinformation
>>220412306youre ascribing too much importance to the prime mover because youre a christfreak, could be something entirely insignificant that set the universe off
>>220412310https://www.youtube.com/watch/JODQ7FlAaXg?t=13
>>220412379How do you know? Were you there?
Teenage gf that used to let me piss while I was inside her is getting married this month.I've never been able to persuade another girl to try it.Wonder if I should try to win her back.
>>220412306>vacuumthat's not nothingyou're imagining a void of space bereft of stars, that's something so even you cannot imagine nothing, because such a "thing" cannot exist, there's no such thing as nothing and never will be
>>220412408>christfreakYep, you're definitely arriving at the subject disinterestedly.
>>220412430how does that work then, thought you couldn't piss while you're fuckingalso I suspect it's not very healthy for the girl
>>220412408regardless proves atheism wrong doesn’t it. there has to be an eternal principle that might as well be God. I even claimed you don’t have to believe in the Christian God. Just that to claim the universe fluked itself into existence via “quantum fluctuations” in a void is laughable tripe
>>220412379>dinosaurs could not eat rocks >this is misinformation
>>220412431yeah hence an eternal existent being. being itself subsisting. an eternal act. this “thing that has always been” is the ground and foundation of all subsequent things that are to be. the universe, stars, plants, animals, me and you. Hence, God.
>>220412458scream i invented that gimmick
>>220412443>thought you couldn't piss while you're fuckingYou never pissed while you're hard? You can do it.She said she liked the pressure. I guess it's not healthy, but I do like the idea of all her eggs marinading in my piss for years.
in bed. sharting
>>220412098who's to say the law of causality predates the universe?
>>220412421rorke told me
>>220412498basic logic things have a cause this is not a very smart question
>>220412445i disagree
>>220412537well i guess we can agree to disagree
The rocket launch is on April Fools.NASA means deceive in Hebrew.
>>220412574And it's the 33rd day of the Israel war
was the ps2 really that good of a console
>>220412533>basic logic >things have a causeexplain how you are so certain our laws of reality applied before reality
>>220412431>yeah hence an eternal existent being. being itself subsisting. an eternal act. all I was saying that existence is a necessity and you started ascribing a bunch of christian theological qualities to itif we can agree that something can exist without being created, then why add god to it?
The ad for the rocket launch has a Madonna song. Madonna is a well known Kabbalist witch.
You ever feel like all of 4chan turns into the same thread... Like I was on /mu/, and there's this metal thread using Anya Taylor-Joy as the OP pic. And I'm like, am I on /mu/? /tv/? /brit/? /hr/? Like where the fuck am I at right now
>>220412537You're wrong
>>220412630meant for >>220412474
>>220412559to be clear i believe in a prime mover cause ive had a few spiritual vibe sessions but thats just a feeling, could just as easily be whatever atheists come up with or christfreaks, no cosmology comes even close enough to authoritatively say what happened nor does it really matter
go to bed now or perhaps a little later?
>>220412631unsubscribe
we need to start blowing up women
Alfred Hitchcock Presents starting on Sky Arts now!
>>220412714
>>220412196Have seen turnstile, Joyce manor and the chats off that list. Not very punx of them desu but money is nice I suppose
carrots are actually bare naise yaknow
>>220412715whats he presenting?
halfway through the week already
>>220412201It's actually just gnosticism which was invented thousands of years ago, they just didn't have computers yet to understand it. And then before that we had Plato's cave. People are still people.
>>220412749theyre okay raw or roastedboiled or steamed? they can get tae fuck
big wank to bobbi stars hairy pussoid there
>>220412806she related to ringo?
>>220412806We don't care.
>>220412750'The Manacled'Shackled prisoner Stephen Fontaine tries to negotiate an escape from Sergeant Rockwell while en route to San Quentin.
Return of the sausages
>>220412855into your arsehole?
was at my mums for Sunday dinner and my sister was over moaning about how stressed out and knackered she is, I come in the room and she says “you look how I feel”Thanks a lot
>>220412855veggie ones or flesh ones?
>>220411770Wagging her poo log x
>>220412872she's done you up like a kipper there
>>220410833Nah
>>220412806She's of Hungarian decent she was born for it
Erm you can't say retard anymoreErm you can't say fag anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK_HgH-Y7jw
sick to fucking bastard death of heating about this rocket. so you're going for a flight round the moon. so fucking what, been done before
faggots for dinner. lovely faggots
im broken and my soul is crushed i simply must take my own life
women's UCL on BBC2 shortly lads x
>>220412949gay homo nonce?
shes gone mental
no football on this evening. take the piss
>>220412872reckon shes ever had bbc inside her?
>>220411564Wretched ghoul sending for mums
>>220413015spaino mate...
>>220412994into your own hands and stoop and build it up with worn out tools
gave catberg a prawn. cut it up into little bits for him cos he doesn't know what to do with big bits of food. he had a weird bit of a struggle trying to chew it. seems happy with it though.
>>220412714with air pumps or with dynamite?
Friendly reminder that anime is for nonces.
What I'm about to say may be surprising coming from a neoliberal bull. But I categorically state, Iranians are among the most gifted and successful people in the world. Of course, there's one catch. When they leave Iran, you see, in Silicon Valley, entrepreneurs of Iranian heritage, among the founders and CEOs of Uber, eBay, Dropbox, and many other outstanding companies. The Iranian people are brilliant. They're innovative. So why is Iran so poor? Why is unemployment so rampant? The answer is in two words, the regime. Iran's dictators plunder the country's wealth. Isn't it a shame that Iran doesn't invest in its people? Instead they divert tens of billions of dollars to their nuclear program, to the spread of terror around the world, to their aggression throughout the Middle East. Meanwhile, the Iranian people are the ones that suffer. I look forward to the day when the Iranian people don't need to go to Silicon Valley. Don't need to go there to build the most successful companies in the world. Imagine Iranian and Israeli entrepreneurs working together in Iran and in Israel, for the betterment of all humanity. That's my hope. That is my vision, and that can be our future.
>>220413034lovely post
>>220413034doesn't know what to do with food? little retardberg more like
>sacking a gay man for having sexvert anti-semetic of the bbc
Bit concerned that the BBC license fee is being used to pay nonces' salaries.
>>220413034gay post
>>220413054I tried watching berserk which is meant to be a dark, grown up anime but it was the same overly theatrical shite
>>220412949that police investigation didnt come from nowhere. he was obviously sniffing around a child.
>>220413054Blud cleared an anime captcha to make this post
>>220413034gave the berge a scallop recently and she was loving life
>>220413076yeh he's not a smart lad tbf
start watching gay porn
>>220413201No
>>220413201t. scott mills in 2016
why is everyone supportive of scott mills? how do they decide which people are ok to nonce
>>220412630because being eternal and uncaused and the originator of existence is the attributes of God. Even before you get into different religious traditions. God/The Supreme Being/Monad has these properties. >>220412662Atheists claim they don’t believe in any gods but in practice the vast vast majority of them believe a materialist conception of the universe and thus would reject the Prime Mover idea.
>>220413201sir yes sir
>>220413239your allowed to nonce if your gay or brown according to leftypol
>>220413201I was hoping to get caught up with my tags on gelbooru today
>table of contents included in word countfuck off
>>220413220s
large Dominos pizza down the hatch in a record 10 minutes
>>220410800cheer up m8
>>220408673>>220408673>>220408673
>>220413355Someone get Asuna some clothes
>>220413259>because being eternal and uncaused and the originator of existence is the attributes of God.why can't these be the attributes of the universe?
That's the old
>>220413347it lush
will never give my cat proper food i simply will not open that pandoras boxdry stuff out of a bag only for her
nu>>220413406>>220413406>>220413406
>>220413347I'd be able to eat half in half an hour...
