>>225981674
seems pretty simply to navigate tbf

that scenario is black mirror levels of weird and its not if the genders were reversed (if the guy was begging for it) innit

got poo in my pocket

Fascinated by Applejack's struggles with sexual identity.

Brits love Viets
Viets love Brits
let's go international let's go

vihaan paskasia saariapinoita niin paljon ajavat vittu väärällä puolella tietäkin

>>225981721
hello Viet friend

>Searching for posts that contain ‘rork*’ and in ‘br’. 714 results found.
this is what mental illness looks like

>>225981721
:)

I can't believe my fellow /brit/ posters don't even know the basics of nuclear deterrence and the strategy of use of nuclear weapons. This ought to be the basics for the citizens of one of the few nuclear-armed nations of the world.

>>225981732
just been saying this down the pub

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>>225981684
it is getting to a point where she might just force herself on me
either way I'm probably going to fuck it up but at least I had a brief taste of what it's like to have a gf

>>225981739
Some of them can be funny but never the ones by the usual spammer, you can always tell when it's one of his

>>225981721
I like bahn mi :)

rorke quoting The Art of War in his asda night shift interview

my dad remarried and now he’s told me his will isn’t just to me any more but his new wife and her 3 kids so it will be split 5 ways. Isn’t that a bit weird? Not trying to be ungrateful as I’m aware im not entitled to anything

Noel Philips sex arse

>>225981742
he didnt say that

>>225981747
You have to be 18 to post here mate jfc

>From scooters to shampoo - the people saving hundreds by dumpster diving
good idea!

>>225981757
first son should get everything, fact

>>225981757
the new wife makes sense, but
>three interlopers thieving 60% of your inheritance
lol. he's done you

>>225981741
played metal gear peace walker as a wee lad so i'm all set

>>225981747
are you 12? she's telling you to kiss her. just do it

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This is for the anon who was laughing at us, and smugly telling us that he doesn't care if he's supporting undersirables flooding the country as long as he gets his food.
You eat food handled by these guys kek jokes on you. This is from this morning

>Mum of boy, 15, stabbed to death in school playground ‘being trolled by her son’s jailed killer’

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>>225981741
>tf
>tp

is SHE 12? why cant she kiss you

Reckon the minimum wage is far too high. £28k a year when a job that requires a degree is £35k (w/ £50k of debt, 3-4 years of lost earnings, a 9% graduate tax, and significant amounts of unpaid overtime). Just doesn’t make sense. Grad wages aren’t going up, they’re just crushing the already crushed middle classes (again)

is he allowed to post the mice now?

>>225981808
why don't you try to get paid more instead of asking for others to be paid less

>>225981757
That's what my grandfather did
Remarried when my nan died then split whatever was left with the new family. His new wife was 40 years younger btw, her family sponged nearly everything off before he croaked. Don't particularly care as I'm a self-made man but it's a bit silly this can even happen.

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he's so based it's unreal

>>225981827
Tim what the fuck you doing?

>>225981784
*attaches a fulton balloon to your bollocks*

more Jeremy Clarkson phenotype than Tim

>>225981811
yes

>>225981747
how the fuck does this happen

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Harvey Willgoose, 15, was knifed in the chest by his ex- pal Mohammed Umar Khan, 16.

>>225981741
anglos are not known for their intellectual prowess regarding matters of any actual real importance

>>225981747
alri Brad

>>225981824
Because every time wages threaten to go up a little bit Westminster imports a billion more jeets and ugubus. Literally impossible for grad wages to go up at this point.

ex pal

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what the hell this isn't /sauna/

>>225981852
which is why all the best educational institutions are located in Angloland.

>>225981871
You're welcome to stay
x

What's you most incel opinion / behaviour?
Mine is a deeply rooted hatred of rock bands that have a slag lead singer that can barely carry a tune and dresses like a prozzie so they get a bit of popularity.

>>225981854
?

>>225981887
mine is that i dont have sex

Got the Bernard Sumner phenotype, me. Not ever going to look more masculine or mature. I’m just going to have a twink death in my late 20s and look progressive worse until I die.

>>225981887
name 5

>>225981776
the fact I'm a grown man and not a teenager is what makes it so embarrassing, I shouldn't be so nervous just kissing a girl but such is life as a virge

>>225981805
no but shes a bit more ladylike than your average girl and likely expects the man to go first than just shove her hand down my trousers idk

>>225981888
tfw you score a good early bedtime

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>>225981883

>>225981907
listen right you're cuddling the girl just start touching her a bit suggestively and if she goes along with it keep going it's really not that hard

>>225981852
Brits are highly educated, if you ignore the deano underclass. But matters pertaining to the use of nuclear weapons should definitely take great priority in political discourse and the electorate should know as much as possible on the matter. I believe many western democraties deliberately obfuscate this matter, which is why I urge all Brits to study the subject closely and raise this issue.

>>225981888
>>225981928
tim looks like he's on death's door

rorke at toil

>>225981907
I’m saying she types like a teenager

giwtwm (but legal age)

>>225981792
chinese propaganda btw

what should I know about nukes? tell me more

>>225981939
I keep telling you lad I haven't done this before, none of this comes easy or naturally to me, you can't even comprehend the utterly crushing humiliation and depression that would follow if I fuck this up and laughed out the door

>>225981963
breathing really loudly as he gets up off his chair. nobody knows if it's because he's in terrible shape or because that's his way of trying to get someone to ask how work is going

>>225981887
I get annoyed when conventionally attractive people complain about depression. I’m sure they feel it, but if you’re attractive then you’re basically living life on easy mode.

any gay homosexual niggas in?

>>225981991
you're already fucking it up how could it get any worse

>>225982000
no not me

>>225981968
shes 28

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>>225981792

>>225982000
just a regular homosexual nigga i'm afraid

got the ick because he used a 2nd hand to stabilise his bottle when pouring a drink

>>225982000
nope

>>225981991
she literally likes you if you do anything funny just laugh about it with her fucks sake i hate you stupid twat get pissed as well that helps

gimmick idea: say homeowner instead of homosexual

>>225982013
Ugly?

>Scientists have picked up signals from the smallest scale of nature ever explored – 100 billion times smaller than an atom.
>A world so small that some physicists have nicknamed it the zeptoverse.
science is gay and should fuck off

we're hosting our Finnish friends in /brit/ today so please be nice

>>225981988
read that as chinese propaganda bbw and got so hard i fainted

get too drunk and overstep boundaries

any gay home of sexuals in

>>225981757
It's not weird. How bad will he look if he left then nothing? If I were him I'd hate to have to put her kids in there but if you get inevitably close it would make things weird and leave a bitter taste in their mouth about you and spoil the illusion. You're wrong about not being entitled though, that's ridiculous, of course you are

>>225982035
Go back to where you came from nigga

>>225982002
I realise that, I think I'm just trying to delay the inevitable as long as possible or something
I'm seeing her again on Friday to watch the fireworks so I'm just gonna have a go at kissing then and hope it doesn't go badly

>>225982062
im already here?

>>225982054
wouldnt he get a boner if he was cuddling with a girl anyway?

i'm nothing

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https://youtu.be/ZVIugwIdii4

>>225981757
my step dad who ive known my whole life isnt giving me anything so i dont know bit weird maybe

>>225982085
shopped

>>225982032
no shes a slim cutie with green eyes
you have no idea how insanely lucky I am to get this opportunity and I'm going to fall at the final hurdle

the dick destroyer

>>225982085
disgusting ghoul

>>225982106
stop fucking doubting yourself like a fifteen year old you're already in lad

>>225982106
giving her a kiss is not the final hurdle

>>225981907
At this point its more awkward for you personally to not kiss her than to kiss her. You're lucky she's still interested in you, she's clearly not an arrogant slag.
As the Butthole Surfers once said, better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't.

>>225982106
do you drink with her it makes stuff easier

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Iran threatening to strike U.S. bases in Europe if Trump attacks after the midterm elections. Hold on to your butts.

>>225981757
Not a lawyer, but I believe the "default" order for inheritance if you have no will goes:
1) Spouse
2) Children
3) Parents
4) Siblings
5) Grandparents
6) Aunts/Uncles
7) The Crown
So if your Dad has remarried and is outlived by his new wife without writing a will, the new wife would be entitled to the majority of his estate. According to a quick search, it's everything if his estate is worth less than £322k, and half of everything above that figure if it's worth more (with the other half being split between biological children).

So the move seems to basically be ensuring that you still get a slice of the inheritance. Whether you benefit from this change or not depends on how rich your Dad is.

>>225982131
I am 15

>>225982085
Imagine for a second being a woman (or an animal of any kind) and seeing this.
Rough.

hmm I think the 2nd part of not saying everything over and over/every time is to stop responding to a few other things or maybe I just dont care right now

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>>225981988
eh who cares about china when there's france with their nuclear warning shots

here's another brilliant use for nukes

is "vibes" literally just another word for "atmosphere"? I don't get this zoomer language at all

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the watch

the shogun just stayed inside his castle and he never came out
people said his brain was infected by devils

if youre 15 you shouldnt be calling yourself a virgin anyway, baka

>>225982171
the jizzer

>>225982169
kino

>>225982165
means vibration its black slang

>>225982133
I know but she seems so up for it that kissing will almost definitely lead to shagging now

>>225982135
thanks lad, I just need to grow some balls

>>225982136
unfortunately she doesn't really drink at all, she gets hammered after like 2 vodkas while I'm still sober

>>225982188
(8) when the emcees came (8)

>>225982169
watching this but only to find out what makes her evil, me

>>225982213
she's a woman

>>225982202
it's not black slang it's new age woowoo from white women

>>225982220
fake

>>225982071
Its really not as complicated as you're imagining it to be. Just do it you'll be fine.

>>225982227
fair enough

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mousey after a shower and a good night's sleep

>>225982228
where do you think white women got it from

Firing woowoo white woman vibes from the tips of my fingers

scoring an early bedtime and waking up at 3am
new routine for me

feminism and antiracism is white women dont ever make anything and white people just stole everything from blacks

im a weirdo freka who smells like porridge

>>225982145
Also this ensures that the step-children get some inheritance even if the new wife dies, if this wasn't in writing and the new wife died before the dad, everyone would go to the biological children.

>can't even get a girl to look in my direction
>blud has a girl practically begging him to fuck her and does nothing
actually fucking fuming

>>225982254
random shit like pagan/wicca tradition, yoga, oriental medicine

>>225982293
there's someone for everyone

>>can't even get a girl to look in my direction
couldnt be me!

>>225981730
it is mental
they killed 200,000 people in Britain and immediately replaced them with Caribbeans after the war

fittest girl ever once eye raped me on the bus and i just did nothing hate my life

my advice for the grown man who’s scared to kiss this girl, get a bbc bull to come along on the date with you ok

cowsep is losing with Master Yi top in gold 1...

>>225982297
>>225982254
Weren't hippies using it in the 60s? I always thought it came from the beach boys

he needs attention

doing the I hate fat people dance

>>225982304
Prove it

>>225982342
are you one of the gays or the girl that says shit like this

penis balls

>>225982353
yeah and i thought hippies got it from black people idk though

>>225982293
i never went on a date in uni and then when i got a job after i just asked a girl out after 3 weeks
we went on until i discovered she slept with another man the same week after i asked her out

>>225982353
yeah but it originates from folklore

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>>225982205
You could have your cock in her… You still wouldn’t have the balls to fuck

got my willy stuck up my bum

>ohh it was the hippes that got it from black people. black people invented da culture for real
you are such a dickriding simp freak

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get the 'tex posted

>>225982409
grow up

you hate white people and thats really sad

Think I'll be shagging the gfbergs arse again soon.
But this time I won't have a floppy drunk cock and will actually spaff up her arse to complete the ritual

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mental that women humiliate themselves like this

>>225982424
don't get poo on your willy

>‘Prisoners lie in bed all day, taking drugs and watching TV’: Prisons chief on shocking state of UK jails
Literally not true but ok mainstream media

>>225982431
do you wish you were her

>>225982414
no

>>225982445
>na bro you cant lie in bed we need you on the mill
lmfao

>>225982445
the 1 thing you know about because its your fucking job and your insight is "wow this is literally not true" wow

>>225982445
as someone that literally works in a prison this is absolutely true

>>225982400
having a mare over the word vibe

>>225982373
usually only severely pornsick straight men think and say shit like that

>>225982445
This
They watch youtube and stuff not live tv

>>225982472
pretty sure theres a foid in here saying it. shes obsessed (with black dicks)

mare

>>225981721
Hoi an is one of my favourite places I've ever been :)

Also phu quoc being pronounced poo cock and the boat that takes you there being called the superdong is just *chefs kiss*

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>>225982493

>>225982490
i know you probably desperately want this to be true but it isn't
take a break from the internet

I say "vibe"
blacker than u (im 100% white genetically though) btw but thats all beside the point

>>225982465
You mean government bender who’s on £180k a year to be “chief of prison” is looking for an easy scapegoat
>>225982467
As someone who’s brother is literally in prison right now it isn’t

did mousey get mindraped into becoming heatherpaedo's acolyte or something
a plot straight out of a cartoon

American immigration is brutal
The number of Indians increased by 350% in 7 years
By 2030 America will be 10% Indian

Sir Keir Starmer, we miss him

>>225982513
the more of that what I said is wrong is better

>>225982542
at least they have guns o algo

>>225982534
>As someone who’s brother is literally in prison right now it isn’t
what did he do?

>>225982490
why as a white man are you saying this

actual real girls you could meet if you left your bedroom do not obsess about "BBC" or exclusively persue interracial relationships
in fact a lot of them don't even find blacks attractive

>>225982534
all I thought about prison before was from being in jail/confinement where they have absolutely nothing. maybe isolation
but in jails they do have washing up liquid and plates and shit, and even a chair somehow. they shouldnt be allowed chairs

>>225982542
Worst part is that they are being grafted into the administrative elite

>>225982574
Nothing bad

>>225982574
he asked a girl out at work twice

>>225982553
ah well. guess i'll cancel that trip to mars then

>>225981747
i'm praying that this is fake but if it isn't mate come the fuck on

>>225982575
because im incel raging because im obsessed with her and want to be her boyfriend because shes cute and fit

weird post frequency rising

>>225982583
yeah i saw the xbox ceo firing americans to hire indians

>>225982445
What's wrong with this? Are they supposed to be slaves or something? Kek. Weird thing to publicly moan about

>>225982601
meds

>>225982613
having a glass of wine because im an incel chud

>>225982616
They're also the presidents of many major schools and own all the hotels and gas stations. Shit's fucked.

>>225982590
how do you get in prison if you didn't do anything bad

>>225982627
bit early dont u think

>>225982620
people are jealous cos thats all anyone does now anyway

here’s gorpheus

I don't own a toaster

>>225982621
theres a girl in this thread THOUGH
and if she is the anon or in the crowd of them, the ones that hate white people, then I will go get her. I can save her (with my penis) (sex sex)
>>225982640
nah and im gonna go do risk-taking behaviour later

rubbing ointment on my boils

don't really understand whats so shockingly unbelievable about my situation
are virgins supposed to suddenly become confident experienced chads in the moment or something? There's a reason why I haven't shagged before, its not like I just couldn't find the time or something

>>225982636
I meant like morally bad

>>225982165
It's cringe. It's not new though, it was always used by back people and some weirdos. Now I even hear a lot of OAP's use it. People are mindless.


Mm

>>225982574
Posted a tweet

>>225982632
same here. just about every cornershop is owned by indians somehow

>>225982663
ktim even when I got the chance my willard didnt work some of us are not meant to shag

>>225982650
how do you make toast?

>>225982663
after you have sex (as in, the feeling after) you will understand when you feel the after sex feeling
or maybe you wont! idk
wild that you arent banned though, literal child

>>225982293
“if ugly people couldnt have sex you wouldnt have been born”
i live by these words

>>225982690
air friar

>>225982663
99.9% of men would have zero problem in the situation where a girl is literally begging them IN WRITING to kiss them

>>225982663
>are virgins supposed to suddenly become confident experienced chads in the moment or something?
confidence comes from experience
all you need to do is speak to women to be confident with them

>>225982691
hes not actually 15 think he was trolling

>>225982690
I don't eat processed runt grains

>>225982699
stared at this
until i realised
you meant air fryer
not an air friar

>>225982717
how do you warm your mittens in the morning?

if you gave a homeless girl a bed in your house, her sucking your dick would make it seem a lot better because then she is saying shes thankful and actually wants to be there instead of looking for an out, is what I think sucking my dick would mean. imagine giving them drugs that would make them lactate and making it so that she cant even walk for like 3 months (with drugs) so she just crawls around

>>225982663
there's a difference between being an experienced chad and not being able to kiss a woman that is quite literally begging you to kiss her in black and white

you should be grateful. congratulations! you're in the one-in-a-million situation where you can have absolutely no fear of rejection! most men never get a chance like this in their lives!

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>I don't eat processed runt grains

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>>225982738

>>225982717
theres nothing wrong with grain as long as its oats or barley
the rest only exist for beasts and alcohol

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should’ve been there

>>225982750
thats why I dont care about gender shit
not trannies but they are sexy though (sometimes)

ate some lentils yesterday my guts have been in a state ever since

>>225982702
it's not doubting she likes me that is giving me anxiety, she clearly does, it's doubting my own ability to perform or perform well
my only sliver of hope is the possibility she likes me so much shes willing to forgive me for being fucking hopeless at sex

revoke the legal right of cats to roam this gives them more freedom than i have

>>225982767
are you not hard when cuddling her

>>225982669
what does that mean
most people don't do things they consider morally bad, that's what self-justifying is for

>>225982752
Oats are fed to horses to fatten em up for winter

>>225982711
that response wasn't even me

it's an extremely common prank in this general to do prank replies pretending to be another poster, keep up

>>225982761
reckon if god revealed soulmates I would be shown one in two images like these. women should start doing "I can do both" because she looks like two completely different people there, shows a lot of adaptability

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so it happened again

>>225982783
okay answer the question nigga

>>225982767
trust me she will not care
in fact she would likely be much happier if you owned up to your inexperience and let her guide you through it (which she is already partially doing)

tis the season to suck penis

hmmm I havent been called a pedophile in like an hour... somethings different

>>225982767
my guess is you watch way too much pornography

>>225982791
these niggas ugly

i'm an inexperienced virgin

>>225982779
soldiers in scotland often ate oats
one example showed that after becoming tired from living off beef in england they would bake oat scones

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>in fact she would likely be much happier if you owned up to your inexperience and let her guide you through it
never admit vulnerability to women or it's over before it even begins

we got dtfic sex advice before gta vi

leftypol calling rorke a pedophile for jerking off to Japanese schoolgirls
rorke jerking off to Japanese schoolgirls in his imagination wanks but sticking to the legal age laws of the UK

>>225982767
she already clearly knows you're a virgin so probably won't have high expectations of you anyway
and afterwards you can come to /brit/ and make fun of the virgins like the rest of us

>>225982740
>one-in-a-million
surely girls telling guys they fancy them isn't that rare, especially these days?

>>225982774
no, should I be? We only have our arms round each other, it's not like we're full on groping or grinding

>>225982791
>12,000 messages
i doubt ive even sent 1000 messages on my phone

i just entertain bait now dont even care

>>225982831
Soldiers are constantly training. Most people today are sedentary. Best to have a couple eggs and some sausage

>>225982837
you are literally a virgin, and actually in this case some women love taking mens virginities

reading a manga that's clearly been translated by a british person funny seeing these japanese guys saying lads and calling each other twats

>>225982842
was mental them trying to ban school uniforms from porn but that's impossible
right so porn is illegal if the woman is wearing a blouse thanks

>>225982847
pack it in

Hokkaido Consadole Sapporo won 4-0 team :)

>>225982847
idk I get hard just by speaking to pretty girls

>>225982864
I have had sex with TWO women and neither was a prostitute so in /brit/ terms I am a certified shagger

>>225982864
virgin hunters are fucked in the head and the worst thing a virgin needs

>>225982837
she already knows though, pretending otherwise can only make things worse

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we love her

>>225982866
a doujinshi, yeah?

>>225982871
right so all of the porn is illegal okay but I literally dont even care (not that normies couldnt do anything about it with the bans) because they also gave money and things to people that need it and invested in schools o algo unlike the 12 years government weve had since I was little who only cared about rich people. really wild that normies dont know whats good for them

>>225982847
>surely girls telling guys they fancy them isn't that rare, especially these days?
with that level of clarity? yeah, it is

what are you incels bickering about now?

>>225982800
I am seriously considering doing this, coming clean might be the only way to get over my anxiety

>>225982844
believe it or not she doesn't, it's going to be quite a shock if I do come clean

>>225982917
you
biiitch
I fucking love you, biiitch
would you date me?

>>225982917
>im not an incel im actually a chad which is why im in /brit/ right now

okay mate we all dont believe you lmfao you daft cunt

>>225982921
yes she fucking does mate sorry

>>225982921
>believe it or not she doesn't
mate.......... she does
unless you've lied about it of course which is always silly

just get a boner while you are cuddling with her and she should fuck you after that

Thus whole AI boom, with major debt and bank borrowing is very reminiscent of that thing that happened in 2008

>>225982960
tried that
hr banned me from hugging with my female colleagues

as womens' iq increases the probability that they will remain without a mate increases

>>225981674
the pain here is changing lanes during rush hour

any top shaggers in?

>>225982983
having children is corelated with economic independence for women
so shortly women should not be allowed to make enough to rent a place themselves

>>225982991
are there any top shaggers on /brit/ at 2pm?

pooooooooooooooooooooooooo

>>225982983
so what
and a wise man said that as peoples IQ increases their potential friends (from a pool of people) decreases, which suggests they become more isolated and would cause them to be less likely to find a mate

>>225982951
I haven't explicitly lied about previous sex experience but I have lied about having past gfs. Not enough for it to seem like I've been playing her for a fool with a web of lies or anything, just trying to throw her off the scent

excellent gimmick

need to have a pint before getting my hair cut so that i don't have a panic attack during it lol

>>225983010
don't know

>>225982991
yeah loads
>>225983010
yeah loads

another wise man: *just made a mistake in LoL and tilted and said (angrily) that he always tilts towards the end and it causes him to lose games so LOCK IN* and that is a good mentality

>>225982917
shagging so no reason for you to pipe up

the granglers back in town
the granglers back in town

>but I have lied about having past gfs
really hope this is bait

>>225983049
>>225983049
>>225983049

>>225983058
Why? Is that so bad?

>>225983015
most sensible post of the thread

>>225000000

>>225983026
cant lie she can probably tell you're lying about that as well

incellious beta losers simping for women is the "ick"