>>47121229yay!!!!!!!!
>>47121229What the fuck was he thinking when he made Touhou 9? I cant believe he made IN ad then somehow found it in himself to make this mess of a game. Its the gimmickiest, most retarded Touhou. The AI is basically programed to be an invincible god until you die or it feels like letting you go to the next stage. Not to say you need someone else for the full experience. It was in the fucking late 2000s, how the fuck was i gonna get somebody nearby to play this shit? Garbage game, /thread
>>47121503This Anon is going to Hell!
>>47121503People from the west forget, but this is a doujin game. It was promoted and distributed on conventions like Comiket, and relied on introducing people by word of mouth. Having something you could play and share with other otaku was an actual genius idea. As for the game itself, i think its great. It gets a lot of flack for not being the already stablished style of danmaku, playing a lot more like a back and forth of increasing dificulty instead of something you can memorize and bruteforce. This doesnt sit well with the usual 2huautists, and its a shame, because the whole game is amazing. I'm particularely fond of the new portraits, the music, and the cast of characters. In what other game am i supposed to play as fucking Tewi? Yeah. The fight with Eiki herself is very memorable too, too bad people rob themselves of fighting an uphill battle by cheesing it with Aya or Medicine. In short, it made sense on ZUN point of view to make the game the way he did, but it was bound to fail considering the bigger audience it made outside the doujin circles who very much like their 2hu the classical way. She is still the cutest Yama, atleast no one can take that away.
*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp*
>>47121978If you were to invite Eiki on a date to go eat somewhere, where and what would you get her?
>>47121503>invincible godYou're supposed to do combo chains to build up meter and only unleash it if A) you're about to die or B) your opponent is out of meter. Screen peeking can feel weird but some hus like Sakuya just crumble when you can see what they're doing before they do it.Or you can just dodge and the AI will kill itself after a while.
>>47122062I'd bring Eiki to a Burger King. I hope she gets the foulest, saddest, most pathetic order ever and decides to judge the entire of humanity for such a sin against her godly pallet.
>>47121229How do you know she's the cutest, have you seen any other Yamas?
>>47121503shut the fuck up bitch ass nigga touhou 9 is actualy a game unlike the slop 19 is
I love Eiki's portrait, it's really endearing, I love those big wide eyes and that happy smile.
bows!
>>47121503you're supposed to play it with friends, faggot, it's one of the most fun touhous there isoh wait, you don't have any, we can all tell by your retarded bitter post
>>47122062Probably a well rated steakhouse in Vegas so I can see her reaction to strippers dancing around while we eat. Ideally this would be a huge surprise.>>47122191Don't feed your Toufu's unhealthy slop cooked in hydrogenated seed oils anon.
>>47123410two of them!
>>47123338You can't do that anon! She will punish the hoes!
>>47123977That's the point. It's a dinner and a show!
>>47121229How do you imagine Eiki would be as a girlfriend?Would she be on the chill side with a soothing voice? Maybe the possesive kind of girl that sends to hell other women that pretend you? A mommy type? I'm curious of what people headcanon her as.
>>47124144I see her as a rather pushy girlfriend, but the kind that is always correct on calling out your bullshit by divine magic. Caring to a fault but strict when you violate her moral code, a strict mom that isn't afraid to coddle you if you listen to her well
>>47124144Well meaning but her nature makes her unbearable if you go against the grain. Being in a relationship means she can call you out on everything you do and puts you into a position of being groomed to be a virtuous person every day. She's right and it is for your own good, but it's difficult since the only person that can change is you, Eiki cannot change herself or compromise to meet you. Depending on how you are as a person you may feel like it's walking on egg shells all the time under the constant scrutiny and criticism, even if it is constructive. It's a lot of pressure and stress if you that kind of stuff get to you. Accepting that you're human and make mistakes goes a long way in easing that. Eiki knows you cant be perfect, you can strive for it but you shouldn't beat yourself up about living to those impossibly high expectations.
>>47124144An aggressively anal girlfriend who nags you about everything constantly, constantly finds faults with you, and happens to know literally everything you ever did wrong.
>>47124144the cutest one
>YOU'RE GOING TO HELL BECAUSE... FUCK YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO HELL OKAY?!
>>47124462
>>47121229God i love Eiki, shes so underrated.>>47124144Ever had someone above you on something try to steer you to the right direction? Like someone who knows the answer to a problem you're facing and suggests the answer modestly as to let you feel like you found it out yourself. I very much headcanon Eiki like that. She knows you are a faulty person, but instead of being overbearing or biding in her criticism, she just remarks in passing some ideas or thoughts that if you were to follow, would improve your life. She's probably seen better and worse, and if she takes her time to love you and help you, she must thing you have atleast one special thing within yourself worth fighting for. ... I might also think she'd be the rapper with the (literally) sickest burns. Maybe its the hat, or the sheer absurdity of the idea, but i like to think that if she knows everything about someone, she might just take some time to mess with people for the hell of it in a harmless way with something like rap battles. Just imagine her smug gremlin face as she makes an oddly specific nod to an insecurity or embarrasing moment you had buried deep within you.
I know that Eiki isn't short canonically, but how tall would you say she is in feet inches?
>>47123676
>>47124462Eikifags btfo'd
>>47124966I think she's around 6'10"
>>47124966I think she's around 10'6"
You're pretty gutsy huh
>>47126060Giantess eiki sitting on me...
>>471249665'8'' but everyone is 4'9''
>>47124462Eiki explain to you exactly why you will go to Hell and tells you how to repant to avoid that fateShe is hands down the nicest 2hu so far
>>47127292She doesn't have big boobies like her subordinate though
>>47127350She has amazing thigs and a round butt.
>>47127350That's because she's humble, but I do have to ask, does Kutaka have big boobies?
>>47124966I'd say about 5'8
>>47124966She's 6'9">source: she's sexo
>>47127393Only correct answer, everyone likes to forget that it's 'jap tall' not actually tall
>>47127359komachi has those too
>>47124144dating her in anonTW seems accurate enough, minus how excessively perverted she gets once she becomes your lover, I still think she's a repressed pervert but just not as much as that game makes her out to be
>>47124144Someone that wants only the best for her boyfriend. You won't need to worry about her lying to you or acting unfaithful, but if you aren't evolving as a person she will point it out, and bluntly.
>>47121229In a scale of 1 to 10 in how much trouble would i be if she finds out i lust for her...
>>471316390. Next question?
>>47124144She'd be the type to always help you improve, even if it's deeply troubling and hard for you. If needed she'd make you cry and feel terrible, before comforting you and telling you that's the first step and helping you with the next ones. She'd never do anything to make you cry unnecessarily, nor would she argue petty things. She'd never lie, steal, cheat, be lazy, get angry, or any other possible concerns with dating a normal human brings. Obviously she'd expect the same from you, and she'd know if you even tried. Overall if you don't have self-esteem issues and are able to acknowledge your flaws and try to grow, she'd be great. If you have any self-esteem issues or are stubborn and refuse to change, the relationship wouldn't last.
>>47131810She sounds like a very biased and self-serving yama
>>47121229This yama is a slute
>>47123126Thanks for proving his point you drooling retard. Even if he had friends what are the odds they'd play touhou? They're much more likely to play a generic fps than they are touhou.
>>47132867What kind of retarded comparison is that? If anon likes 2hu then probably his friends are in same area of interests (like 2hu)
>>47132867I play Touhou with my friends, sounds like you need to find yourself some real ones loser
Moe moe kyun~!
>>47121229Phantasmagoria of Flower View truly is the perfected character art of the early windows games
>>47127350she is in my headcanon, faggot
Lovely
>>47121229We know of no other Yama,
>>47132867>>47133284>>47133502>>47121503NTA but i think that even if hes a bit of a retard hes got a real point. I love PoFV but i cant for the life of me get people to play it with. I do have friends who play Touhou and they despise the game, so not even that saves you from feeling like theres nobody to play with you.The game is piss easy if we arent talking Lunatic though, reimu poster got some skill issues.
>>47138021I can't get over side-eye Reimu
>>47132498This anon is a slute
>>47138021Because ZUN had outside help lol, that's why MOF and SA look significantly worse
I’d love to pick her brain about moral dilemmas. Have the Yama actually solved morality, or does she see morality in black-and-white terms simply because her job requires her to? There’s a lot of unexplored aspects of her character that get thrown to the wayside because “lol angry shorty!” She’s probably the best example of a character that was absolutely butchered by the fandom.
>>47149656How would you know that?
>>47153251They fucked
why does yama need such big butte?
>>47153678comfort when sitting and judging for long amounts of timeand sex
>>47152503Fanon and some schizos has ruined some 2hus perception forever. Eiki had it some of the worst...
>>47152503Considering the nature of Touhou I'm not sure.It seems that Yama's see your past objectively which helps but who knows how they count each deed, how much they take into account intent and if unforeseen consequences can change the rating of an action.
>>47121503But enough about Touhou 19
Oh man is it my time to shine or what? I have hundreds of Eiki photos..
>>47152503thats because lol angry shorty is a common trope for yama in media and its much better then non existent canon "personality" she has
>>47164336Please anon, i need a lot of Eikis for myself too.
>>47164336Are they all samples?
>>47167077Ask and you shall receive
New recruit to make up for Komachi's slacking off. How will Clownpie fair working for the Yama?
>>47169962When will Kutaka finally get a promotion?
>>47169989Would Kutaka accept Clownpie as her secretary to handle small errands or whatever?
>>47124144She'd practically be your mom and remind you to your annoyance most likely of every single thing you're doing wrong
>>47170514Probably, she already has an incompetent colleague who outraks her, it would be a nice change to have an incompetent colleague she governs over.
>>47170530God i wish my mom was that strict, I'd love an eiki lover
>>47121229Sexiest Yama.Lewdest Yama.Sensual-est Yama.I will be sentenced by the Yama to suffering in hell for my lust and I will accept it all with absolutely zero regret. For I refuse to deny the sheer raw unfiltered sexual energy she possesses.
>>47172645>I will be sentenced by the Yama to suffering in hell for my lustshe only said you were being sent to hell, whether or not you're going to suffer depends on your refractory period.
she looks like an entirely different woman when she is out of uniform.
>>47131976So if you have low self esteem, something which may be caused by depression or other mental illness, she would just give up on you, something that would most likely send you into a irrecoverable spiral of despair that would likely end up in you just ending your own life?Doesn't exactly sound like someone that is cut out to act as your life coach or romantic partner for that matter.
>>47169701I ask for more dear EikiCHAD
Eiki is Elegant
>>47173632Eiki would try to bring you onto the right path, but ultimately it's up to you to do it.If we put romantic feelings into it, I think she would work the hardest for your sake.But ultimately I think Eiki simply wants everyone to make the right choice on their own and shows them the path they should take to it. She is the judge not your personal trainer, so her giving advice in advance is very kind of her.
do you think the Yama is good at cooking?
>>47176531yes!
>>47174145>Eiki would try to bring you onto the right path, but ultimately it's up to you to do it.Is Eiki a taoist...?
>>47176531I think she'd be extremely good at it
>>47177047>>47177641how does one get on the Yama's good graces and be allowed to try her cooking?
>>47173971He who asks shall always receive.
>>47176531I think she absolutely is. What i wonder is, what would be the Yama's signature meal?
>>47177721> 93680592_p0.jpgyou know, i never really thought much of Eiki. But something about that fanart feels so right...
>>47182216Think more of her.
>>47184513Sample.
do you think she'd make her relationship public or that she would do her best to hide it because it might interfere with her image as the yama?
>>47185486Here's a better question. How would Eiki get a man in the first place?Her best pickup lines is to tell the guy when he last masturbated. She does have Komachi as a wingman but I think that hurts her more than it helps her.
>>47185571>Her best pickup lines is to tell the guy when he last masturbatedAnon please, Eiki isn't autistic. She understands that kind of forwardness spooks the cocks
>>47185606Being autistic is kind of a requirement for being a yama. Think about it, you just quote laws all day and smack people over the head when they don't respect them.
>>47185486i think she is more likely to deny its rather than hide anything. excusing spending all her days off with you by saying that she is lecturing you. claiming that of course casual clothes, homemade cooking, constantly smiling and hugging you is all conducive to saving you from damnation.
>>47185571>How would Eiki get a man in the first place?I do headcanon the Yama as a massive autist, but i don't think she'd struggle much, if at all. She gets to know all about you, even a retard like me could make it so someone falls for me with that kind of knowledge. She knows all your stupid hyperfixations and all the stupid shit you think but never share with others, she WILL use it to her advantage to make you love her.
>>47185667and how is she going to excuse lovey dovey definitely not a couple sex?
>>47185854she wont. instead she will hang her head in shame, then start sobbing into your chest, before loudly professing her love for you.
>>47185947and after that will she hide it or make it public?
>>47174145I'd like to imagine Eiki-sama as unintentionally ending up being way too harsh on you at some point, something that accidentally ends up hurting you on a deeply personal level, to a degree that makes you resort to doing something extreme like self-harm. But as soon as she realizes what she's unwittingly done she instantly regrets it and begins feeling deeply guilty and remorseful over having hurt you so much, to the extent that it makes her break composure and even begin to cry for once in a very long time. As she, in a somewhat twisted sense of irony, begs you to forgive her, she also promises to never hurt you in such a way again and starts to become very protective of you. She will still lecture you and push you to become a better person, but will also be alot more sensitive around you over a sense of moral obligation.
>>47185486I think Eiki is a girl that puts her work above all else, but if she were to date you, she'd tell you all the problems straight. If you are ok with not having a lot of time together, and not being seen in public, and not minding that she literally knows all about you, then she'd accept you. That being said, what little time you'd get with a Yama gf would be of great quality. When somebody that really loves you gets that time for you, they always make sure to let you know in all kinds of ways. She's also very critical yet well-intentioned, and that's something i appreciate a lot. Sometimes life goes to shit, or i fall back on vices, and to have someone that can give you straight, honest criticism without coming off as preachy is a real virtue.TL;DR: She'd keep it private, but it's worth it.
Eiki likes to watch
>>47190842...you suffer in hell for making posts like this.
>>47190866Eiki will watch me getting paizured in hell by okuu and orin
>>47190882That's former hell. You're not going there.
>>47190941Do we have any 2hus that live in current hell
>>47191000Eiki herslef and Hecatia.
>>47191052So after eiki sends you to hell she just throws you out the window and you are free to walk around?
>>47190764>She'd keep it private, but it's worth it Yeah right, as if her superior and her subordinates wouldn't immediately find out and start teasing her for it
>>47191331I'd imagine you get manhandled by oni into your assigned hell. Like the jailor stuffing you into the back of a bus/van as they transport you to prison from the courthouse
>>47191052We gotEikiKutaka ZamuHisamiHeca JunkoSometimes AkyuuAnd maybe KomachiStill a decent line up, not even including the primate gardens. Good luck finding a way to woo a hu without a body though, remember that soul mode is just orb mode and the best you can hope for is being assigned as an underboob sweat wiper like that one lucky bastard in cds/lotus
>>47191373Why do you think she's trying to hide it so much? Even the oni busy bodies that work inside snicker at the though of THAT Yama getting a heart eyed lover
>>47127350fuck you
>>47191721>kutakaShe lives in the youkai mountain, she commutes to hell.>Junkohuh?????
>>47122828What went so right?
>>47191872Is that false though?
>>47124462Gem.
>>47185963>and after that will she hide it or make it public?...Do you make it public knowledge every time you have sex anon? Rather, do you make it public every time you masturbate?>Inb4 yesWould you make it public if you were a woman?>Inb4 yesNo you wouldn't.
What so you think happens if Eiki accidentally kills or maims you?Do you get a free pass or does she still have to judge you fairly even though she's the cause
>>47203256by "it" I mean the relationship, not the act...
>>47203256Puffy judge pussy...
>>47203256Imagine the smell.
>>47203256she needs to exercise more, all that sitting during trials is making her butt get fat
>>47203256why does the Yama wear such a lewdly short skirt? is it because hell is too hot?
how cute she is
>>47208384You musn't lust for the Yama as she lifts her skirt. She's testing you, and you go to hell if you fail!
>>47211021By being a genuinely good person
>>47219318yes
>>47224290Honmei for the Yama
>>47124462Finally, a gem on the 'pee.
>>47153678>sits on ur face>'Well anon, i did like you asked, you will follow on your promise and be a better person, right?'
>>47230300>"Sure, sure, just let me stay in this position for an hour and I'll be better. Preferably an hour a day will help me."
>>47203256Yes.
