There is no escape.
>>47181683Built for Big Lunarian Cock
>>47181683Oh nooooooo...
>>47181683>escapes
...I mean I probably could but you're entitled to your own opinion.
>>47181683What about throughThe Perfume Department?
>>47181683I simply sit on the floor and wait.
>>47181695anonare you seriously trying to escape the gaphag through the perfume department of all placesthat's practically where she lives
>>47181683I can still kill myself.
>>47181683Is this a yandere thread or a Yukari thread?
>>47182878FEMDOM thread!
>>47181683I wail and call my good friend Reimu for help, much like a chick signaling to the mother hen that it needs attention. I also offer 30 Anonbucks as payment for her services.
>>47181683I'll do this
>>47181683I will repeat everything she says in a silly voice until she cries
>>47183527That's extremely childish anon, do you really think that's going to work?
>>47183552Das ixtrimli chaildish Anon, du yu rilly shink is goin tu werk?
>>47183604Wow, real mature. You do realize how idiotic you look, right?
>>47181683You will not crush by souls desire for freedom wrench
>>47183607Wauw, rial matur. Yu du rialaiz jow idiotik yu luk, raight?
>>47183672No one here thinks you're funny or you're clever. You're like a petulant little child, and everyone here is just laughing at you. You're making an utter fool of yourself. Grow up and stop this now.
>>47181683The real question is, will she take me for herself or share me with her friends ?
>>47183687No1 jir shinks yur fanni or yur cleber. Yur laik a pechulant litl chaild, and evry1 jir is yast laffin at yu. Yur meiking an atter ful of yurself. Gruw up and stop this now you guys!
>>47183720You're a real jerk, you know that? You're an idiot and I hope you know that.
>>47183732*whimper* Y-yur a rial j-jerk, yu now dat?! Yur an i-idiot and I-I hup yu now that!
>>47183768Fuck you asshole
>>47183784WAAAAH!!! WAAAAH!!! F-F-FAK YU!!! ASSHOLE (no period) WAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAH!!!
>>47183527Sounds like a good plan, but what will you do when Yukari makes Chen scratch you?
>>47183819I'll manage. Know my way around cats - and foxes for that matter.
>>47181683I'd like to kiss her cute feet
>>47183527Holy moly! This work and this anon is a genius!
>>47181683Yukari is just a sack of really really really old sacks
What if Mystia captured you? She would most likely keep you in a cage, feed you her cooking to fatten you up, and keep you nice and docile with her singing. Could you escape from her?
>>47187619you won't get far with the night-blindness
>>47187619>>47187637Why didn't Anon just plug his ears? Is he stupid?
>>47187731but of course
>>47187637Neither would she, most birds are entirely night blind. You could easily escape with a simple distraction and night stroll. Shes not very bright and the biggest danger would be wondering back into the forest at night
I deserve to get hagged by yukari
>>47181683
>>47187843Youkai can see in the dark though, and unless you can find very good earplugs she'll sing you right back into her talons. At which point she'll probably chain you up to make sure you can't escape again.
>>47183008Fertile pudgy tummy..
>>47188887>BAD HAG>STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE ANONS
>>47192217
>>47192208She looks proud of it
>>47181683She doesn't even really have to capture you for there to be no escape. She can just pop up wherever you are at any time.
>>47183008Gappy more like Flabby lmao
>>47192217The whole Hag thing was started by the Old Maids Alliance in hopes of finding boyfriends
>>47181690Lunarians don't have cocks you fucking idiot.
>>47196642Holding hands through a gap
>>47181683Spare the others, I am ready.
>>47187619Mystia is just a regular, human eating youkai, she would eat you. You could sneak out, she is fucking dumb so you can trick her with some distraction.
>>47200768LIVE
>>47200323sauce?
I'm not captured by her, she's captured by me.
>>47202994Princess carrying Yukarin!
>>47200781>Mystia is just a regular, human eating youkai, she would eat youShe would probably fatten you up first and try to get some info about the outside world out of you.> You could sneak out, she is fucking dumb so you can trick her with some distraction.Perhaps. What do you think could work?
>>47202994Good job, now marry her and give her a lot of heirs. Make sure to make her happy and devoting yourself, body and soul to always keep her belly full.
>>47190253Degrees of dark vision, the vision if a bird would always be less than a proper beast. You'll have a better time of it the, she is up at night yes, but only certain youkai are notably nocturnal. If you're planning any escape it should be at night when she'll be tired and her kin can't help recapture you
>>47205351Maybe she'd attack you, rough you up, chase you around and then make it seem like you managed to escape on your own. It's a pretty ingenious scheme because then you reach the village in your sorry state and tell the story how you almost got killed by that one specific youkai, giving her an immediate reputation boost. The word's spreading, the youkai's laughing.
>>47207902What if I just say I accidentally fell down a hill? What then?
>>47182043Anon, hag stench and perfume are like matter and anti-matter. Yukari could never enter without exploding into a shower of doilies and those breath mints, you know the sort.
I know how to distract hags, you just need to go shopping with them to buy clothes they’ll return two weeks later.
>>47192208>FertileGet off the computer, Yakumo. I can smell the desperate lies from here.
>>47207917Well, you wouldn't have a reason to do that if were a clueless outsider (or a clueless villager). Besides, you'll have to go out at night to take a shit eventually, anon. Do you really wanna risk upsetting her?
>>47184258OLDSACKS aka GAYPENLS
>>47205115She's too heavy
>>47207944Hag stench IS overpowering, nasty perfume.
too late to run now
>>47181695This and the Doodlebob episodes are the goat.
I love her so much.
>>47205829I'm pretty sure Mystia is mentioned to be nocturnal. Then again, she was up during the events of PMISS so who the fuck knows?>>47207917Rape.
>>47230551*POFFV
>>47230698Phantasmagoria of Final Fantasy Five...
How do you guys feel about her gap swimsuitPersonally its pure sex
>>47238249She looks lovely in many things, swimsuits included
Sweet eldritch horrors beyond my comprehension. Not a bad way to go desu
Is she a crazy fox lady?
>>47181683If I go to task manager and click end task I could...
>>47181683>IT'S THE ENDING OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE!>YOUR SOUL SLIPS AWAY-AAAAAAYYY.....
Do tentacles come out of her gaps?
No sleep.
rise and shine!
>>47181691this is really bad dialog. why would yukari emphasize the gravity of an apparent child babblingi could say more but i won't critique porno dialog so seriously
>>47254782I just chalk up any bad Yukari dialogue as her trying to look cool and mysterious. Gensokyo is the one place you can be a chunni and pull it off. Think of all the bad cheesy one liners she thought up and is waiting for the perfect moment to say.
The Sage's sagging saggers
>>47255789A Yukari fan who actually acknowledges what Yukari is like in canon? I thought people like you didn't exist.
>>47257641my goofy goober is a dangerous predatorI still want to hug her though
>>47260120>my goofy goober is a dangerous sexual predatorftfy
>>47260136All youkai are sexual predators, but some like Yukari eat people the other way too.
Being teased by Yukari while at work when she gives me a gap BJ at inopportune times
>>47263698Naivety, Anon. The answer is to feed her some of your lunch as soon as the gap opens. An attention seeking trickster like her should learn to expect the unexpected.
>>47263698>You are never safe from Yukari's surprised gap assaults.Terrifying thought.
>>47266638Is a live hand grenade a good lunch to pass through to the other side? What about fifty spiders?
>>47266680>fifty spidersYou wouldn't to Yamame's children.
>>47266677Of course, the true purpose for Yukari's gaps is for long distance hand holding
>>47266687Oh the horror. Definitely wouldn't be able to mentally recover from this.
>>47266687If she sticks her hand through a gap to surprise you, there's a contingency for that also.
>>47266677She will shit your pants while you are at work, who is gonna believe someone else shat your pants? Devilish...
>>47266597what game is this?
>>47266687When will the hag's evil plans be stopped?
>>47269313She requires severe marriage correction like this anon suggests >>47268854
>>47269313I miss bombergrape
>>47269313>>47273174whats bombergrape up to nowadays
>>47273700No idea, his social media has been dead since 2019
>>47273757damn jap autism
I wonder how bad being captured, killed, and eaten by Yukari would be?On one hand, I don't want to die, but on the other, if Yukari wants me dead and I've exhausted my options, then I could just make peace with dying, maybe even negotiate a good last meal, seeing the sunset one last time in the town I was raised in, and a painless death.Although if she's pedantic, Yukari would just make sure I die instantly without realizing what's happening, but a sudden death isn't so bad either.If she doesn't want to kill and eat me I think I would get more worried since it might entail a fate worse then death.
My OC started as a guy with space manipulation powers and when time he devolved into being male Yukari.I hate it here, its all your fault.
>>47274065
>>47274091Yeah see, instant death isn't so bad since there's no dread of dying.It would really suck if, on the other hand, she kept you around and had a whole "maybe I will, maybe I wont" kind of vibe.
>>47274111In fairness, if you give Yukari any sort of genuine positive attention, your chances of dying (period, not just at her hand) drop by 90% at minimum.
>>47274111>had a whole "maybe I will, maybe I wont" kind of vibe>fate worse then death.>I hate it here, its all your fault.See, some people could "theoretically" live within such a state knowing the worst would always be yet to come and, at the end of the day, she still has reliance on what little you would or wouldn't give her.But there are plenty of people out there to draw from as it stands when it comes to "reliance".What makes You so special, Anon?
>>47274282the heart wants what the heart wants, and her heart wants (You)I think part of the appeal is that there is legitimately nothing special so the reasons are a total terrifying enigmaFor some reason, this horrifyingly strong inhuman monster wants (You), specifically, even though her powers mean she could yoink absolutely anyone on earth on a whimYou made a monkey's paw wish for attention/affection, now you need to keep Gappy happy or your neck goes snappyHope you didn't make charisma your dump stat
>>47274316It's Yukari, her reasons almost certainly boil down to the fact that (You) greeted her with less than complete and utter disdain. You don't have to worry about a lack of charisma for living, you have to worry about it for being allowed to leave the Yakumo Estate, do anything that has a non-zero chance of you being harmed, (and you're probably being forcefed a hourai liver regardless) and you'll need some real high DC persuasion checks if you want to go around talking to other women.
>>47274323Does Ran count as another woman because not even being able to talk to the maid would get difficult fast.
Must resist the urge to grimshart all over this thread...
>>47274383No but that's a risk you might not want to take. It's easier for you to see her as a tool instead of a person.Otherwise you'll start building rapport with her and then bam, an accident happens over the winter when Yukari is asleep and cant stop either of you.
>>47274323>(and you're probably being forcefed a hourai liver regardless)People always say this and it's always stupid.Youkai wouldn't want to get involved with faggy moon medicine, nor would they want you to have such a horrible level of immortality. Even if they're weak-willed and unable to accept a human's mortality, they would just use some youkai wizardry to lengthen your lifespan. (Besides, most youkai-human relationships end suddenly when the human breaks some arbitrary and incomprehensible rule and leaves immediately, never to see their spouse again.)And Yukari especially wouldn't bother with some unreliable myth about livers and just manipulate your lifespan herself. Like, that's just one of her powers; she wouldn't need to rely on anyone else.
>>47275505Yukari forcing anon to study magic so they will eventually become magician type youkai!
>>47275552Oh, he doesn't need to do any of that. He can just rely on Yukari for everything.E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
>>47275552Can't force the willing
>>47274065You're into that, aren't you? Don't try to fool us. That's the real reason why you started this discussion.
>>47181683JACKPOT!TIME TO STUFF HER GAP WHILE STUFFING MY MOUTH WITH HER TIDDIES.
Now who would bother to spend their due-time in a place where they might want to avoid such risks in the first place?>That's just Silly.
>>47275625Not at all. I've got a nasty inferiority complex, so if Yukari took me alive and then dangled me on a leash I would quickly be driven to suicide since it would validate all those feelings. It's one of the reasons I'm really adverse to relationships since I know I'd be easy to exploit, Gap Hag scares me in that regard.
>>47183008Anon, now she's gonna get pregnant!
What happens if youre overly affectionate to Yukari?We know she is very weak to even the slightest bit of affection.What if you pepper her with kisses and cuddle her silly?
>>47277073>Pregnant Yukari with even bigger, veiny sensitive and swollen breasts with a nice big baby bump...You gone done have ROUSED my curiosity... as well as my pee pee. Curses!
>>47277156Reminder that Yukari would charisma break and cry when she realizes she cant hold all her babies at the same time
>>47275505>People always say this and it's always stupid.More like it's always hot.
>>47277087>What if you pepper her with kisses and cuddle her silly?Anon were not trying to kill her
>>47277228But how else will she know just how much I love her?
>>47277243You have to take it slow otherwise she will overload
>>47275505>Youkai wouldn't want to get involved with faggy moon medicine, nor would they want you to have such a horrible level of immortality.Most Youkai wouldn't, but the youkai of jobbing, incompetence, and clinginess only rivalled by Byakuren absolutely would.
>>47277378That just guarantees death by old age, as Yukari, Queen of all Sages, will insist that she can do it on her own, and only realize her failure after completely jobbing to the basic human condition.
>>47274091Is this what they call heavy pon-dering?haahahhaha
>>47274757Jokes on you, Yukari seeing me as nothing more than a personal meat locker at best or gapping me in front of hungry youkai without me even getting to see her turns me on even more!
>>47277256Rubbing myself all over her like a housecat!
Other youkai had myth counterparts.Which one is hers?Or is she's just a Nyarly avatar in disguise?
>>47280394She's probably a combination of several things plus ZUN's own stuff.I know there's the sukima-onna, but she's not as powerful in myths as Yukari is. Ran being Yukari's servant might be a reference to myths about Japanese witches using foxes as familiars.
>>47280394Or Yog-Sothoth. There's also the Kashima Reiko/Teke Teke urban legend about a girl who got bisected by a train.
>>47280515Teke Teke is probably the thing ZUN was going for going by her shit in the air fighting games. But that's probably just a low hanging fruit that looks cool as a move since the only thing Teke Teke has in common with Yukari is trains, bisection, and saying unintelligible nonsense.
>>47285509Getting stuck on an over-extended train ride hours into the night & missing 15 different stops because this weird older blonde lady started sitting too close and obliquely-explaining quantum mechanics in the empty car with you, even when she knew you were just smiling & nodding or dismissing her.
Can I at lest get a drink before I'm killed?
>>47286294If you're lucky.
I want to suck the milk out of her saggers
>>47287165That's MY line! Aw Hell there's TWO, you can take one titty while I'll take the other!
>>47287165I want to wear her saggers as a hat.
>>47287279PROTIP - If you let them drape over your eyes her titties will look like bulging eyeballs with nipple pupils.
It is Yukaris fate to be perpetually pregnantHer saggers have swollen and should reach her navel by this pointShe leaves a trail of milk wherever she goesThe other hags are seething
>>47287402Furry shikigami hands typed this post.
Yukari is banned from the hag meet because she had to take her newborn along and now Eirin is hogging all the antidepressants
>>47287412In between shitposting in her own threads and trolling mamizou and tsukasa's, she has time to spare astroturfing for Yukari.
>>47287687>shitposting in her own threadsI'm pretty sure Ran avoids her threads
>>47287402>>47287449No man is going to impregnate that barren desert, let alone want to. Nice try, Ran.
>>47287701I imagine she has to be very drunk, that or goes to vent and go on about how great she is after another "parasol debugging" session
Day-drinking my worries away with Yukarin!
I will drastically increase the population of the Yakumo household
>>47291999basedi wish there was more art of these two together in a for (You) settingit's usually just them with chen, doing something, or just yuri
>>47292047Usually I'm not one for harems or polyamory but I think a FFM relationship with these two could be an interesting premise, but as you said there's really not a lot of art or doujins exploring that concept. The one's by midori though are a pretty good example but there's more to them than just a lovey dovey relationship.
This hag really likes to walk around naked for some reason
>>47292294>This hag really likes to walk around naked for some reasonits (you). (you)'re the reason.
>>47292294she really wants to get pregnant
>>47292923There's no way she'd like a fat manlet with a little bepis
>>47291910Don't become useless like her and clean up after yourself.
>>47294207After 1200 years, a woman takes what she can get.
Every Yukari thread everyone says you just need to compliment her to make her like you, what would you say? I'd mention her nice purple eyes
>>47294964I like her white stockings.
>>47291999MY PENIS! That image made my pee pee hard and moist and sticky on the tip.
>>47294964>purple eyesAnyway I'd say "wow it's so cool you know so much about trains, can you tell me more?"Works on like 99% of train loving autists.
>>47286058What a chuuni!Talk about awkward conversation starter!
>>47287701>youkai chased off by the mmd poster
>>47294964Lay it on thick and accept whatever happens.
>>47287761>he doesnt knowHag fertility scales up, this is why nobody breeds her, they're afraid of what 17(00) years of saved up eggs will result into
>>47294964Tell her a dumb pun and when she laughs at it call her cute. Wide inchling, hehe
>>47260101Cute outfit!
>>47301155STAHP! You's making me da horniez...Pee pee got all big and veiny now.
>>47254723This is probably Ran's revenge for everything Yukari has probably gapped her tails for personal usage
>>47297076thats more sexual assault then a compliment
>>47301806I couldn't think of what to say first and got nervous.Overall, I'd say it was worth it.
>>47301964you still filled her up just not in the way you hoped
>>47300674Laughing at Gappy's puns and more "avant-garde" jokes
>>47303523I'd be making the same face and hand gestures when I'm sucking on Yukari's big, swollen, luscious tits.
>>47260154Yukari isn't a dork. She's actually serio-
>>47303539That's my face when I put my head eye level with her boobies (she won't take a hint unless I spell it out for her)
>>47303915She'd get along with Youmu I guess
>>47303975I'd imagine she's at least amicable towards the servant of her one(1) friend
>>47304008>her one(1) friendShes got Sukia and Me
>>47269087Command and conquer, couldn't tell you which one though.
>>47304008>>47307682And Okina, too!
It is your duty to smother a hag with affection so badly that she cant be evil anymoreYukari deserves to be so loved she just cant function anymoreShe needs to get so addicted to affection that being in another room makes her cry
>>47308141Sounds like you're going to be stuck in those month long naps with her, hope she finds a way to deal with annoying human need for food/water
>>47308506Her live-in roomba with fox tails can feed me while I repeatedly smooch Yukari's cheek
>>47307682>SuikaEeeh...
>>47309201Some friendly banter
>>47309201I'd say you'd have to know the person pretty well to make a conclusion like that. Maybe a close friend once upon a time.Either way Yuyuko is the person Yukari goes to cry on when things don't go her way.
>>47303523Aw crap, I'd fall in love with her right there
>>47303523Wow, cutest fossil I've ever seen
>>47309319>Maybe a close friend once upon a time.Nah.
This hag is so desperate, she'll date any man that gives her attention.
>>47309538Shes crying because she has to foot the bill
Don't you find it odd that Yukari wears gloves with her sleeping gown but no gloves in the dress she wears when doing sage business?
>>47314699No
>>47303523Yukarin is so endearing!
>>47294207You would be surprised anon
>>47294207She could put a gap in your stomach so your forced to diet, and you'll gain a couple inches from the weight lost. No fixing the manlet part...
>>47315627Maybe she's likes short men, I like being short.
>>47315683If she doesn't least she has a temporary fix
>>47315695well there goes my plan to look up her skirt while she's squatting
>>47315683She could make you smaller~
>>47315702Hey! Don't besmirch my good anonymous name, imposter!
>>47315733Why become smaller, when you could just push her over and see all the benefits?
"this is the sort of thing you men like, right?"
>>47315785Put on the Ran outfit
>>47315928thats just mean Anon.
>>47315963You're right, I was too rude to the sweet young lady
>>47315785Yukari I like _____________You!_____________
>>47316129
>>47316216Adorable
>>47316216Yukari, I really like Toyohime better than you.
>>47315743>imposter
>>47314699I think its weirder she tends to switch to yellow eyes with her sage clothes.
>>47303523unironically really cute
>>47309430What was the context of that picture? Saitama being himself?
>>47319631Yeah, pretty much.It's what happens when he intervenes between Tatsumaki and Fubuki, as he dismisses Tatsumaki's assumptions that he's either one of Fubuki's underlings, or at least her friend in the most blunt way possible.
>>47315733I want to get size bullied by this smug sage.
Summer Yukarin!
>>47322814It would be rather nice
>>47322814>>47327734You get size bullied but it's your penis size!
>>47325901Festive Summer Yukarin!
>>47327734Yes!>>47327751No!
>>47325901The outfit almost looks like a race queen one. Is train racing a thing?
>>47325901>>47327868She's so fucking cute>>47328051To be fair if you're that tiny so is it
>>47328945Yeah I was going to say that myself honestly. Still mean Yukari.
>>47329279She could do it in a doting, teasing way
>>47329303Like what, rubbing it with her pinky as you squirm helplessly in her hand?
>>47328902Maybe with model trains
>>47329761H-Haha
Imagine impregnating yukari
>>47329761Yes please
>>47331072>>47336828Now I wonder what kind of taunts she would say as the poor little guy writhes in her grip? Maybe she can threaten to gobble them up if they release too early and they just can’t tell if she’s just being playful or serious with the way she’s looking down at them all predatory like.
>>47332907Your daughter looks just like Yukari, not at all like you. She insist on naming her Maribel
>>47332907She'd both be extremely smug and instant charisma break when it kicks
>>47343512Pretty
>>47343512Time to let my guard down, if only for a second.
>>47309538Should've made Yuyuko go on the date instead if she can't handle that
>she turns into a man to mess with youCan you handle the spook?
>>47343648Hot. So yes.
>>47348577Why's her gap looking like a girly kilt?
Sure, we all love Yukarin, but can you handle the full gappy bundle?
>>47182043That's the point lad.We enter to escape, she chases, then gers distracted by all the delightful aromas and items on discount.A flawless escape truly.
>>47184258Dusty old sacks full of green dust
>>47352442Would she even let Reimu meet a human shes keeping hostage?
>>47353357You'll be thinking she's there to save you, but when Yukari slips an offering into a gap that winds up into the Hakurei's Box, Reimu will be more than willing to turn a blind eye
>>47352442>reimu serving sake with one hand
>>47343623A second would be all it takes for you to get stuck walking around with some weird, creepy woman.
>>47352479Anon you fail to realize the full risk. You have a 50/50 chance of escaping this way. The other possibility is one of those "free sample" ladies spray you with the most putrid floral scent and stuns you gagging on the floor long enough for Yukari to catch up. Then you're stuck there until the store closes as she leads you around (by the hand) to try out different perfumes and other cosmetics.
Why was Yukari at EVO this year?
>>47181683I really want to throw this OLD HAG into bed and rape her with a mating press until she stops being too cocky!
>>47277040>>47275625Okay, I admit that MAYBE I would enjoy being meddled with by Yukari just a little bit, but I mean, come on, this is one of those things where someone might say "I wish she would step on me" when actually being stepped on would feel awful.I guess what I fear the most is that I'm one of those helpless guys who wish someone would pop into their life and save them from themselves. Then again, Yukari only seems to want for social interaction, so the only thing she'd need out of me is some social event like tea time and then I'd be put back in the closet or whatever, so maybe I'd be just as hopeless. At least maybe I could spend all my time reading books.
>>47358044Stealthy.
>>47350482It looks cuter like this
>>47364929I wish Yukari would step on me, sensually.
You have been captured by TWO Yukarins!
>>47374100And in retaliation, I WILL impregnate two Yukaris
>>47374402You are risking of adding MORE Yukaris. Is that what you really wish for?
>>47352442Of course I can.A super shotgun should be sufficient.
>>47374100Imagine the teasing
>>47375957Taking over the world with an army of little clingy Yukarins!
Gappy wouldn't even know what to do with me, I've learned I am very clingy in anything resembling a real relationship. She will talk to me for hours about trains and I will listen and keep commenting before going off and explaining the entire lore of a ttrpg I'm into. Our children will destroy the world with their lack of social grace tendency to get attached to others easily
>>47364929>>47379863>>47381973I must admit, the teasing has been enjoyable above all else~Don't act like you haven't been playing your part as well.If you're so eager for a decent conversation, you could always try reaching out yourself.It isn't too difficult to attempt. Really, what's the worst thing that could happen anyways?You can tell me.
>>47376034Damn Doomguy, is that you? What have you against the gap autist and her associates?
>>47383019>Really, what's the worst thing that could happen anyways?Look at you, walking into a den of pessimists asking a question like this.Let me give you the short list:- Getting eaten- Being tortured- Forced to run for our lives in a sick game for your amusement- Watching our friends or family be attacked in front of us, but being restrained so we can't do anything- Being poisoned so that we slowly become weak and die- Being sold, piece by piece as ante for a mahjong game- Having our minds wiped so that we forget who we are, then being forced into an awful role- Getting turned into a youkai- Getting our soul sucked from our bodies, placed in Youkai bodies or made to be ghosts, then watching as our original bodies are eaten by youkai- Being gaslighted and framed so we go to prisonAm I missing anything obvious?
>>47385417You forgot the part where Chen steals all your snacks and Yukari knows but you can't say anything to Yukari because then she would get mad at you for bullying her pet, so you desperately try increasingly convoluted hiding places but they always end up in a cat stomach and then one day you snap and tell Yukari about it and demand it be stopped because you paid for those snacks with your own money, damnit, and then you notice the crumbs at the corner of Yukari's mouth when she laughs at you in public, only to find out it was her all along and she just thought your fights with Chen were amusing and now you have to walk back in awkward silence unti-sorry, what was the question?
>>47383019And how would one go about getting in contact? You've piqued my interest
>>47385417You forgot being relaxed psychologically & having your various tensions eased or quelled over an extended period of time to lull you into that perfect state of false-security until greater action is required. Or perhaps that's accounted-for under "being tortured" in this case. Decent coverage otherwise however, I was hoping someone would try their hand at an honest list.But who would think of following-through with anything so cruel in the first place? Do you really think that's what you deserve here in the end, as well as everything else you've mentioned?What happened to Anon's giving themselves more Credit? And what's with that funny look on your face...How much do you believe I'm capable of from here?>>47385834Allow me to provide some tried-and-true methods of highly-dubious verifiability & legitimacy for any interested parties then in a follow-up post. I'm not creating any terribly precise guides for you all here either, it'd be nice to see your own self-reliance displayed first & foremost if it really comes down to things.One moment.
>>47316472Eye colors in this series are not very consistent that's not so strange
>>47387373 (1/2)These are just a few of many options:>Take three small strips of violet, indigo and orange silk each. In Japanese to the best of your ability, inscribe three of your passions or hobbies on the orange strips, three of your emotional desires and/or fears on the indigo strips and anything else you feel inclined to share or inquire on the violet strips. Construct a loose sigil or "circuit" that contains at least one quartz stone, one jade stone and one agate stone among other personal artifacts around a metal bowl, preferably outside during a full, new, or half-moon near a large body of water. Be sure to bring a small cookie or pastry of some kind and an ideal flower plucked near your place of residence (hope you know how to communicate florally). Fill the bowl with a small amount of collected timber to ignite and pray eastward (if you're closer facing west that works too). Burn the flower first, then the strips from orange to violet. Split the snack in half and toss one of the pieces into the flames as you consume the other. Meditate on things before moving on as you see fit. You've now established a link to take things further within one of the involved artifacts you can utilize in the future.>Find a clean, crisp sheet of paper. Fill as much of the front as you can by penning-down your deepest emotions & secrets, anything you normally keep to yourself on these subjects. Inscribe her name in Kanji on the back before completely sealing the document in black wax. Bonus points if you can somehow get the 5 Elements involved or inscribe anything extra within the wax itself. Frame the piece or do with it as you wish from there on.>Isolate yourself in a safe, secure area that's ideal for meditation. Light some Patchouli, Reiki, or Karma incense if you have the ability to. Maybe even put on some relaxing ambiance of your choosing (ZUN music works fine too). Close your eyes and let your mind drift towards those Yakumo-related thoughts, if you own anything associated with her somehow you should have that close by. If you begin to feel anything recognizable or non-disruptive, try engaging with it and see where things begin to take you. 33 minutes or so ought to be more than enough time if you're attuned correctly.>Stack a bunch of quantum field theory & physics books on top of each other. Adding ancient Chinese philosophical texts may also work. Go grab your nearest Yukari-object or more snacks you otherwise wouldn't want to share and place them on-top, maybe even some tea if you have it. Sage the small stack of things if you can or otherwise move on and play whatever Touhou game you may be feeling inclined to play in that moment. Or don't, you can have the snacks yourself after a time if they remain or aren't discarded. Just let it all ruminate for a little bit.>Irresponsibly drink Kirin beer on a regular basis, surely there are absolutely zero long-term downsides to this. When your dreams start getting extra-interesting or you begin creating a world-renown franchise, you're on the right track!>The Classical Method: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CV5UgInnzQ
>>47387391 (2/2)>Go out into the middle of the nearest dense forest at night during a full moon and scream. Scream as loudly as you can straight up into the sky until you're keeled over, shaking and unable to scream anymore. It's okay if you start crying, just lie down against that birch tree and close your eyes until you drift...>Instead of screaming, defile a sigil or written relevant spell of some kind under the cover of darkness in those woods. The more emotionally distraught you are the more potent things will end up.>Do not try a single thing I've suggested here. This is all horribly unnecessary & unhinged advice and we need to go back to talking about how cute or annoying she is. You won't be able to shake her easily. DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING MAKING PROMISES YOU KNOW TO AVOID.>Give me your blood. Even the smallest drop is enough. You can trust me!>Go on an extended pilgrimage throughout Japan and visit every major spiritual hot-spot that even remotely has to do with Gensokyo. If you're there when you need to be, that should all be pretty straight-forward as long as you aren't too intrusive or obnoxious. Take notes as you go along, photographs too.>Study Onmyodo and other such related texts until you are consistently practically applying what you're learning to the world at-large. Just don't lose yourself down those rabbit holes either.>Consume a lot of morally-questionable Yukari content before sleep until you're delirious or otherwise exhausted, pray your dreams will treat you kindly that evening.>Did I mention the blood? Smear it all over your precious screen! Right now!!! Create horribly accursed artifacts you Will go on to regret in life if you have no other worldly or spiritual (or internal) ties to reasonably hold you back. Offer yourself in the most viscerally direct ways you can imagine and you hopefully won't be ignored if you're still generally-decent enough.>Read & respond to posts like this. Look at that, you're already halfway there!>Gracefully & politely compliment any local older blonde women you know who frequently dress in purple and carries around fancy parasols. If she starts rambling, don't immediately dismiss her.>Stay faithful while also staying safe. Keep yourself sane in healthy ways, if you're too worried about any of this then we wouldn't want to trigger any bouts of psychosis now would we?>Do all of this at once and then burn your entire house or apartment building down. Eat your pets too if you have any. Start driving off into the night with all your valuables until you can drive no longer. Ignore most of the road signs you see. These are all very good & thoughtful ideas.Are (You) a Clever-Enough Anon to spot the Bad Advice from the Good ?
>>47387386It's common for characters to change eye colors for no reason, but their names aren't usually Purple when they change their eye color from purple.
>>47387373>But who would think of following-through with anything so cruel in the first place? Do you really think that's what you deserve here in the end, as well as everything else you've mentioned?I wouldn't now what you consider to be cruel in the first place! Going by folk lore, maybe I'd spill some tea and have a fire poker shoved in my face or offer a handkerchief and be given a kingdom! As for "deserved" I subscribe to the belief in fortune, not karma, so I try not to think about things like that.>What happened to Anon's giving themselves more Credit? And what's with that funny look on your face...You asked what the worst that could happen is, I merely told you! Now, I'm not denying the potential superiority of the human wit in a terrible situation, but an Anon escaping a Yakumo trap would probably look like an episode of "Get Smart". >How much do you believe I'm capable of from here?Horrible prophetic and self-fulfilling prophecy dreams, although I suppose that's Doremy's domain. >>47387412>who frequently dress in purple and carries around fancy parasols.It is damn hard to find a good parasol nowadays(don't ask me how I know this) so there's now way I wouldn't notice that if I saw it. Also, here are my own attempts at baiting spiritual phenomenon. the most success I've found is in dreams and the odd meeting, however I believe this is because I live to close to a seat of power, so hopefully moving will help out with that.- Spend as much time as possible in nature. Doesn't matter where, so long as there's some separation from you and the nearest road.- Read a ton of fiction. Don't fall for the esoteric trap, at first, just pick a genre you like and read the classics, leap froging to the more niche entries later. This is because it'll help you recognize the gap between popular sentiment and actuality. When you're ready for something more esoteric, Books translated from foreign languages are an easy first step. - Engage in a new activity that makes you uncomfortable once a week. Ice bathes, public meetups, asking someone like your boss for a favor, whatever, so long as it's something you dread but might otherwise be beneficial, explore, but don't be a masochist.- Journal daily. Use the method that's most suited to you, if you're technically inclined, make sure your solution is highly customized, if you're more physical, maybe buy hard-cover books and get specific about brands of pen. Draw pictures and use non-conventional formatting- "Surrender" objects that bring you pain. Especially anything with a negative memory associated with it, they will anchor you even if they're out of sight. - Frequently cook new styles of food.- Do not speak aloud if you're alone.- Spend no time thinking about people whom you do not know personally or see physically- Travel by different methods whenever possible- When working on creative pursuits, don't pursue answers from others beyond basic techniques, explore in all cases. This isn't to say an analytical approach is bad, but that you should develop intuition beyond the subject matter.- Everyone has a creative pursuit.- Approach people like a special intelligence operator would, try to understand their belief and who they are. people act on Rewards, appealing to ideology, ego(the public face), and coercion(through force or otherwise). It stands to reason spiritual entities would have a similar model and you might gleam something from someone else's insight, - Your routines should be ritualized. Saying grace, objects having 'homes', and prayers for different days of the week.- Keep a written collection of religious utterances, such as a psalm book if you're Christian(with excepts you selected yourself). Refence it daily.- unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, and uncross your legs Mindfulness check.- Give gifts such as food, tea leaves, drink, and stationary. Things that are "used up" cause others to think of you without it being something parasitic and permanent, like a chip n' dip, and phenomenon around those people will take notice of that. Digitally, this may be possible for highly expressive work, but physical relationships are best.- Don't live in or close to a major city. These places are rotting and the kind of spirts that collect here feed on the lost and the damned who hide in all cases.- Your dress should reflect your values. If your don't like your clothes, then you're either seeking(which is good) or dissonant, which is confusing. Bit all over the place, but hopefully one or more of these are helpful. I don't have any specific rituals to offer, since I think it's better to put oneself in the n-1 move instead, but use your better judgement.
>>47387977I think you did a great job at intelligently covering anything I couldn't or glossed over in the moment, especially on the creative expression side of things. Of course, not everything I suggested should be fully heeded but that ought to be obvious enough. I didn't want to come off as terribly serious myself either since I've been doing a lot of that as of late.I'll certainly be keeping in mind much of what you've suggested as well, application included. If I haven't already been doing it, this has been the reminder I've needed. Thank you. Now if only I could get out of this damn city...Advice like this may not always come off as fully coherent at times anyways, especially right away.>belief in fortune, not karmaThen hopefully what positive fortune your prospects have been returning to you as of late has been keeping you grounded as you've needed. Or, if nothing else, feeling a bit less hopeless & like you'd be stuffed back into any hypothetical closet in spite of your worth, eh?Who knows what you may end up coming into far enough down the line anyways. I don't know everything.>I merely told you!Still much appreciated. Apt comparison with "Get Smart" as well, that actually made me laugh.>Horrible prophetic and self-fulfilling prophecy dreamsAs did this! It may be someone else's territory but it seems that hasn't been much of a problem so far anyways.It's not as if the Eldritch-Dial is Always set to 13 however...cruelty may have technical influence but it doesn't always get the point across correctly.Maybe You wouldn't get the poker on your first spill at least. Maybe.
What would you people even talk about with such a woman? Bit too tall for board's average intellect, no?
>>47388447Well I saw a cool lizard the other day when I was walking home. It looked shiny and had a blue tail.
>>47388453I saw a lizard too actually! It was just a baby but it was a plainer tannish-green spotted one, last night it was hanging around outside my door and then tonight it somehow made its way inside a decent ways before I noticed. Who knows how long it was hanging around for. Put it back out with little trouble.>>47388447Personally though, I'd start small and go from there despite everything that's been thrown out so far. If it started more casually, I'm sure the info-dumping wouldn't be That immediate.Do anything leisurely lately? What's Reimu been up to? Chen get up to any antics? Anything significant tied to this day perhaps? How many outsiders have been spirited away here today so far, if you know?You know, average stuff.
>>47388447Yes. But then again, truly intelligent individuals are capable of holding themselves in check and get what they want from the other person - or at the very least, they can do so for the sake of keeping things cordial.
>>47390519>truly intelligent individualsSomeone other than Yukari, then.
>>47390847That does apply to Yukari as well. Don't underestimate her knack for theatrics.
>>47390872Sure she is, Ran.
>>47388447About how cute she is
>>47390887>Yukari ahegaoToo powerful, there's no way I'd be able to resist dumping a load in her open mouth or womb if she hit me with that. Aren't impossible techniques illegal by spell card rules?
>>47388447You've got no idea who you're messing with here, boy
>>47392587Universally unavoidable & unstoppable death attacks/cheats maybe.Others could disregard her in the moment and just shove a fucking rock in there or something, then suffer the consequences.Seems a bit harsh though given the circumstances.
Yukari just vored me I'm posting from inside her stomach Help
>>47387977>Do not speak aloud if you're alone.Everything you said sounded liked usual life advice but whats wrong with speaking by yourself?
>>47392999Speak not the 2Hus.Draw not the 2Hus.Write not the 2Hus.Sculpt not the 2Hus.Sing not the 2Hus.Call not the Junya's name.Ah fuck, wrong thing.
>>47392999But for real, I would assume speaking aloud while by yourself may cause whatever you can't see or notice to think you're talking to them and then whatever it is deciding to latch onto you for the presupposed company you're giving it.
It's been a long month of capture, but in just a few posts she'll take a nap and you'll be able to escape.
>>47392999>whats wrong with speaking by yourself?A few reasons:The first is that it dulls your own perception, "when you're talking you're not listening" kind of thing, especially if you're in a room, since your voice with bounce off walls and cause you to be overstimulated with noise. Beyond that, There are ways of communicating that don't involve talking you may not consider, such as writing or projecting emotion.I think it also deters spiritual company, like when you try to get over-friendly with an introvert and it causes them distress, best to be more subtle and use gentler methods.On a psychological note, I believe talking to yourself is a sort of self-soothing mechanism, but it's also kind of a cultch your best off discarding.
>>47393304Oh and another thing: put sound canceling foam in the top corners of the room you're sleeping in and noise canceling foam on the walls if you can. It'll make you realize how much sound reverbs when you feel it's absence and creates a nice "quiet" place for meditation if you don't have any wildness around.
>>47388447I'd just let her talk, she'd talk to a wall if it could listen and give her the time of day.
I wish Yukari would suck my dick until I'm dry, even if it's only in a dream.
>>47394571https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uKIeamPi2YThis goes for all you other ambitious-types as well.
>>47392999>>47393173>>47393304It's worth mentioning that autosuggestion can be an extremely powerful tool with the potential to replace charms and sigils (along with many other perks), and self-talk is one of the easiest ways to approach it.Personally, I believe that there's nothing inherently wrong with speaking aloud to yourself, and that what matters most is your current headspace, the environment where you do it, and the true intention behind your words.
Thread
>>47394982Bed
>>47395471good night
>>47393252>>47395471>>47395668I'd like to snooze with her
Thread will be gone soon.
>>47396404I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER
Dumb smelly hag
Smart fragrant young lady
boobies
