How would you make Yukari like you?
>>47661015Bitch, I don't have to make her like me, it should be the other way round.
>>47661015I wouldn't. I'm not stupid.
>>47661015Just be a girl.
>>47661015Liking a narcissist? Hard pass
I like Kasen better
The path to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'd make her something light and sweet to suit her Palate. I'd also probably write prose to praise her for her intelligence, beauty, and the mystery of her existence.Of course, making someone like you mainly comes down to being likable in the first place, so I'd work on being patient, kind, and diligent.
>>47661015by being nice to yakumo yukari.
>>47661015look in her general direction
>>47661015Ask if she wants to get drunk and play videogames
>>47661015Rape.Failing that, more rape.And if that still don't work, even more rape.
>>47661015I know yukari at least is not alice, but goddamn. why would I want anything to do with this stinky old hag? yukari is disgusting, annoying, moody, overly cryptic. acknowledging yukari is only but trouble.
>>47661015I dunno, take her to a bingo night somewhere? maybe buy her a nice rocking chair?
>>47661015Foot massages
>>47661162God I wish I was a girl.
>>47661401We're made for each other, then.
>>47661015Ask her how she gets to be such a powerful wise sage despite being so young
>>47661015Tolerating her scent is a good first step
>>47662513You'll be seeing Eiki soon anon.
>>47661015What is the source of this image? Looking all over only redirects to reddit threads or really old /jp/ threads.
>>47664742artist is nicecream, it's probably from twitter
>>47664745It was from their pixiv, but thanks either way.
>>47664742It's also a bombergrape joke
>>47661015I'd ask to build model trains.
>>47661015She's somehow more of a loser then me so I wouldn't
>>47661015Make multiple threads for her
>>47664705I'll rape her too.
>>47664705look at how sad he looks. probably lost a costly bet.
>>47664705This is what happens to males trying to molest Yukari. Girls aren't in danger and can enjoy her boobs to their hearts content
>>47661998>The path to a woman's heart is through her stomachYeah, but Yukari's favorite food is YOU!
>>47666043pretty unfair
>>47665283how many threads does she have now?
>>47661015I've cracked the code for seducing older women recently. They love appearing effortlessly young, mind you, they put a LOT of effort into appearing young, but they wanna make it seem like it's not the case. You gotta open up with a subtle nod at her age, making it seem you think she's younger without outright stating it. My play is to ask for their profession, let's say she's a lawyer, and then I go, "wait, but isn't that like four, five years of school, did you just graduate?"And just like that. Her eyes sparkle, her pose becomes straighter, and she proudly announces how she's actually whatever years old. Then you act surprised and begin love bombing, complimenting her about how young she looks, asking her how does she do it, and you take it form there.So I'd do something like that.
>>47672197i think i've experienced this once when an older lady approached me once I said that I thought she was around my age, maybe a bit older when in reality she was almost 30. Can't believe i couldn't put two and two together...>hen you act surprised and begin love bombingis it possible to overdo it?
>>47672248Unlikely that the amount would freak her out. After the play she'd be already in a very good mood, so very receptive to flattery. If you do too much you'll most likely fluster her at worst.Now, if you're awkward in your delivery then yes, you can mess it up, but if you've gotten this far that's unlikely.Besides, older ladies are often more open to naked flattery than younger generations.
>>47672310I really like how Yukari looks here with her facial expression. From her smirk to her sharp slit-pupil eyes. That’s all I wanted to really say about this lovely young monster lady.
>>47672310>>47672467She looks like she's supposed to be showing off an engagement ring in that picture.Unfortunately she has no such ring.
>>47672604It's a signal. Yukari is telling you clear as day she's single, untaken, open for business, ready to settle down, and looking for someone kind enough to help her out when she fucks her back up.
>>47671669Two! Two Gappy threads! Ah ah ah!
what would u anons do once yukari takes a liking to u?
>>47672954I don't want to post in the other thread because someone really weird is there.
>>47674667Hide in a place she'll never find me
>>47674707Bad strategy since Yukari can be seen diving with the others here.
>>47674749It's bigger on the inside don't you know?
>>47674768I didn’t know Ran was a TARDIS.
>>47672248>older lady>almost 3030 isn't old....
>>4767481735 is the point where she starts getting into hag territory
>>47661015i show her my hentai collection
>>47674817it's pretty old...
>>47661015Give her a foot massage. Women love foot massages.
>>47661015I'd let her have sex with me
>>47675585>>47662613
>>47679271I wanna lick her feet clean
take responsibility
>>47682371is that her engorged prostatejust imagine how much cum she can pump into you
>>47682371I had an idea for a short story.Villager is getting his happy marriage with a girl from there, everyone is happy and so on. But then, on newlyweds' first night the girl is dismayed: her love didn't cum into her and she silently blames herself. The guy can't understand what's going on, since he remembers reaching orgasm.The situation repeats itself on few following nights, until the girl flat out denies sex, lost in complexes over her apparent worth. The guy, still loving her, starts to blame himself on making her mad for unknown reasons.Later, the girl becomes pregnant, to her own surprise. For some time, the situation for both lovers becomes somewhat better. But as the ninth month of pregnacy nears, baby starts to act abnormaly. In the end, the girl falls deadly ill during childbirth, while the child survives. But it is clear as day that the child isn't hers, and what's more, it has youkai qualities. It turns out that gap-hag was gapping guy's cum into her, then later gapped the child into his love's womb, being to lazy to get through pregnacy on her own.The whole thing ends with Yukari whispering to guy, both taunting the guy and asking him to take care of the child, so that his wife's death isn't meaningless.I couldn't make the reveal being smooth enough to not look like an ass-pull, so I gave up. But if any writefag wants to pick up this or parts of it, feel free to do it.
>>47682466wtf
>>47682466I must be broken because I thought this was hot
>>47682466I like your ideas. Was the reveal part where it's found the child is clearly a half Youkai? You could work it through Eirin trying her best to delicately deliver the news that his wife died giving birth to a Youkai. The suspicions on the audience end is already piling with the anticlimactic sex and miraculous conception, so the Eientei scene is just playing on that and finally reveal that something is very wrong. and wtf
>>47682466man, this is vile...... might give it a try if I find some free space amidst my main writefagging~
>>47682719>Was the reveal part where it's found the child is clearly a half Youkai?Nah, that should be easy. Eirin could work well, but even describing how child looks unsettling and inhuman while the guy holds it above girl's fresh corpse would do the trick, I think. Hinting it was Yukari, before she confirms it or it could be inferred without doubt is the hard part.>wtf>>47682574>>47682612Come on, it's not that bad. Pretty tame horror story, all things considered.>>47682715wtf
>>47661015Send that bitch a smiley face, bitches love smiley faces.
>>47682466You cannot look at me in the eye and tell me Yukari wouldn't hundred percent do this
>>47682793>Another shrine husband of paradise spin off
>>47682928it is what it is, and Yukari is a bitch
>>47682832I think anyone that knows Touhou can infer it's Yukari, who else could do that? But, in a general literary sense it's not good. The solution is to lay out some foreshadowing and introduce Yukari earlier in the story. She doesn't need a speaking role, but make her a chekhov's gun and hint at her interest in protagonist boy so there's a motivation that can be elaborated on later after the reveal. Maybe he gets the heebie jeebies about some weird blonde lady who's giving him attempts at flirting from a distance and appears and disappears when he's not looking. Yukari loves to talk about herself, so elaborating after a reveal is easy, and since she's an antagonist splash in some mania and her extreme leaps of logic and you're all set.
>>47683005>But, in a general literary sense it's not good.Guess what stopped me.I toyed with an idea that guy could have been Outsider that managed to acclimate into Village, but in initial passing to Gensokyo he became more or less involved with Yukari and that was when he caught her eye. But this started to spiral out into some longer plot and I wanted to keep it short and then... well, you already know.
>>47683187MC's past probably isn't important, but if it's a short story you can be afford to be contrived. He was nice to Yukari, once, in passing; and while he doesn't remember she never forgot. The story can start with the wedding and procede from there. You could even leave their connection ambiguous so it's debatable whether she has the right guy or not. That can layer on some comedy, she is a little senile after all.
>>47682466—“You’ve taken everything from me.”The words echo throughout an empty house, reverberating on empty bottles of sake and kaleidoscopic pills prescribed by the head doctor at Eientei, both littering the floor as the kotatsu they were on rests nearby, toppled together with its cushions. There’s pounding at the front door; they’re screaming my name and words, sentences, too muffled to properly understand, but I do not care. Not here, not now. Not as I hold my father’s wakizashi over the small blanketed basket in front of me and on top of the kitchen's counter, where she’d stand so often preparing food for us, humming a nice tune, her waist always aching for a hug and pregnant belly for some harmless pampering… Inside the basket lies a monster, its small eyes closed and face adorned by blonde hair. Uncontrollable rage threatens to rise, but my body already overflows it in the form of thick tears and trembling limbs. The thing yawns, and I grip the sharp weapon tighter.“… My wife, my reputation, my family, my dreams—e-everything.”The monster opens her eyes, maybe in response to my voice, and I catch my breath. She looks around, numb and confused, eventually locking eyes with me, and then... she erupts in pure, rhapsodic laughter, a gleam taking over the bizarre color of her irises, a smile spreading her toothless mouth as she joyfully kicks her legs.These tears of mine saturate her blankets, but she doesn’t seem bothered, her petite, chubby arms reaching out for me—reaching out for her father.The bangs at the door grow louder; the sky is brimming of stars, and the vast cosmos above is only a small portion of what I can see within the baby’s eyes—the hue of hallucinogenic dreams that resemble fleeting glimpses of the few Danmaku fights I have witnessed throughout my life. My blood feels supernaturally acidic in a cocktail of substances much beyond the grasp of this human body; my stomach churns violently, scalding cold yet freezing hot.And though her father sweats like a hose, his eyes are wild and red from crying, and he holds a knife over her, the baby still laughs and, with stretched arms, demands affection.But none of that is given.A simple human man, raising a demon?No.I need to do my due diligence and exterminate the monster, like my father before me. Avenge this shattered heart, for never again will I hold her close.Regain an ounce of control over my life.Because how in the Dragon God’s good name…My breath is released, eyes racing and blood rushing unrelentingly; the shoji doors are ripped off their trails, and, with the fury of a maimed heart, I bring down my father’s wakizashi to the baby’s heart.… Did things end up like this?—just a little draft on how I'd start things if I'd to pick up this idea, done more as an exercise. Has a lot of potential, hope someone picks it up for good, Anon!
>>47682793>>47682947kill yourself
>47682466 >>47682793 >>47682906 >>47682947Wow...if I had a nickel for every time a HSE anon made me existentially question my involvements with Gappy, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice, right?>>47661015For the record, I guess maybe I am stupid so here's what I would do to get her positive attention:- Call out to her in a moment of vulnerability. Obviously this runs great risk; she's a Youkai, but this also presents an irresistible temptation for her. The real question is how you would frame your worth towards her beyond that first impression. If you're involved in fields she has experience in but still have much to learn she can and will emphasize how available she is for "assistance" when she isn't busy, beyond just taking advantage of your ignorance (both may still be possible, be advised)- Simple praise. Doesn't have to be aggrandizing or overly charming and frankly I don't think she's terribly picky with her tastes anyways, even if she tries to frame herself as otherwise (there isn't much that genuinely surprises her anymore these days, plus she does more than enough to keep her own ego inflated (Insecurity.))- Be surprising! If you're obnoxious about it then I don't envy your chances but if you truly are one-of-a-kind in her eyes, somehow, then that's all the more reason for her to start playing the long-con rather than disposing of you quickly (and we all know what she's like when she's scheming)- Maybe try just talking with her normally like you would anybody else? Approach her on even grounds, even if they inherently aren't? That could be surprising enough, naïve sure but you can at least be somewhat forward. You don't have to open the floodgates right away. Respect yourself, be upstanding and she'll be forced to acknowledge that in some capacity. >>47672197 has the right ideas, although that combined with light praise may land you the coveted charisma break much sooner than anticipated. However, you'd then be subjected to the unfiltered whims of Full Yakumo Infatuation by that point so I can only pray you're at least a half-decent individual.- If all else fails, just let her into your mind the same way you'd give a lump of clay to an artist in the hopes that they'd sculpt something nice. In this case the artist is simply a partially unfathomable entity that abandoned her humanity long ago and you're at the total mercy of nearly-alien preconceptions over what is and isn't acceptable beyond your own personal boundaries, smile. Ludicrous amounts of blind trust needed for such immediate action however, possibly a fool's errand without ideal foreknowledge (as much as interacting with her in any capacity might be anyways)Please don't ask for more advice beyond this. It probably isn't even advice you should follow!You're here in a thread like this though so don't let that stop you if you're that determined.>>47674667Accept what's coming to me. I wouldn't really regret much, I'd just try to understand what I'd be getting myself into as much as she'd let me. I have the clear disadvantage no matter what, that's only natural even if that would be soul-crushing for most. If I manage to establish some kind of connection she truly appreciates in the face of that I can't exactly just immediately sever it. At that point, if she wants to start playing 5-D Shogi with my psyche the best I can do is roll with the punches and play along with her. It could even be fun! Statements made by the utterly deranged....holy Fuck do I still care about her immensely in spite of all the risky bullshit, This is Fine. Surely...>>47683308Oh Dear God. Quite literally oozing with heart-wrenching story potential, the best kind! You have a solid knack for this. If anyone else picks up the concept I'd only hope they'd have the mental wherewithal to do it proper justice...so not me lol>>47682793live yourself.
>>47683739>5-D Shogi with my psycheShe'd be lucky to win a game of 1-D Shogi with the average /jp/ Anon.
>>47683911 Such confidence! Now I'm just wondering how she'd actually fair in a competitive Shogi game without any boundary manipulation.How many of you think you could easily outwit her under such circumstances then?
>>47683975Anon she literally admits to playing Shogi with herself in the first case where we get her internal monologue. Anyone who actually tried would at least give her extreme difficulty, and having a remotely above average IQ and taking it seriously would be all that would be necessary.
>>47683996I'm aware of Beautiful Flower Blooming Violet, figured I could at least give her the benefit of the doubt that she still legitimately knows how the physical game works outside of her many self-fulfilling prophecies but I guess that's what she'd want us to think anyways right? Although I do doubt that she's never once played a serious, physical game of Shogi.Unless the implication is that she's just that incompetent regardless. I did say I was stupid and it's not like she's perfect so this could just be my own biases showing here. If I ever need to attempt to publicly humiliate her in any capacity I guess I could try a game or two and report back on the results.
>>47684107I feel like her social ineptitude is more easily exploitable if you wanted to humiliate Yukari.
>>47684339Yeah you’re definitely right about that, Shogi was just the topic at hand earlier.If anything, just dismissively treat her like Reimu treated her in BFBV and that’ll get Yukari in an emotional huff pretty quickly. Not a good one, but there’s your flustered Sage for you
>>47684386Treating her dismissively until she corrects you!
What is a 17 year old girl doing at the Large Hadron Collider?
>>47689308she's very interested in the science and mechanical genius behind it.
>>47689308I bet gappy must enjoy checking in every year or a few to discuss some abstract physics by the guys doing it. That and the mental image of her riding on various trains throughout the world make me happy for gappy
>>47683739>Wow...if I had a nickel for every time a HSE anon made me existentially question my involvements with Gappy,Psycho gappy willing to go to any extremes to secure (you) is my favorite flavor of fanon gappy. Its way too alluring to want to 'fix' her and coddle her despite knowing I've been entirely in the palm of her hand since before I knew what badly flirting with her at the shrine party would lead too
>>47689308she's working with sern!
>>47675042You mean 18.
>>47689456choose a better hag, Yukari is not worth it.
>>47674679Ironic that the thread got raided by HSEtards shortly after this post.
>>47689456but trying to fix her only makes her worse, though. Anons deserve better women by their side, not that monstrous hag
>>47689987That's why Kasen is the better choice.
can't you stupid faggots go back to your own containment general already?
>>47690087if only more Anons would see that...
>>47689777>tripsyou'll make her cry with such truths, anon...
>>47689885Hey thread autist, fancy meeting you here
>>47689987That's the point, there's no real 'fixing' her but you you'll try anyway. Besides, maybe something will get through!
>>47690293>Besides, maybe something will get through!
>>47689381cute nerd gappy!
>>47690284This is the second time I've ever posted about the HSE. Don't believe me if you want, I'm not really interested in whatever enemy you're imagining.
c'mon, Anon, they just want to talk!
>>47681807>Fufufu, good boy~
>>47682466guys, I think I don't like yukari anymore...
>>47691315>>47690743i want to impregnate these hags!
>>47690341She doesn't use the laptop because she's afraid it will run out of ink and she won't know how to change the ribbon on it
>>47692422once tech illiterate always tech illiterate
>>47693477Yukari uses python and think she's a technobraniac mastermind; Ran arduously fixes her bullshit with her magic C and Chen loves to add ASCII into her HTML code
Why is Gappy such a fun name to say
>>47699718i wanna shoot into her gappy if you catch my meanin
>>47682466Are you the same anon who had an idea for a story where humans offer parts of their bodies to marry youkai and Yukari's husband gave up his eyes?
>>47700507No. But I recall that one, it was in 'what disability would you take to enter Gensokyo' thread, right? About two months ago?
>>47700544Yeah, almost sure it was that one.
>>47700544what disability would YOU enter gensokyo anon?
>>47704076Wheelchair bound so Okina takes a liking to me and we can make the Human Village wheelchair accessible
>>47704076What if I'm already profoundly mentally disabled? Can I get in by giving up a pinky or something?
>>47708909I dunnoI was gonna ask the same thing
>>47689456At this point it isn't even about fixing her, of course that's a fool's errand from our point of view.Having her around when she feels like it is nice and all but I just wish she'd free me from the fucking worms already, I'd tear out my own bladder if I could. Hate this perpetual goddamn cycle just because I "need water to live", PAH.I want her to fix me gosh darnit!>>47699718It's snappy!>>47691933Well word on the street is you can't go wrong with Kasen apparently, how about you give her a try and report back to us?
I don't wanna fix heri want her 2 "fix" me instead
>>47717562two negatives don't make a positive, Anon. At least not until you multiply.
>>47717596Oh i'd multiply with gappy if you catch my meaning
>>47717675I know you would.
HAG!
>>47718617Let's face it, Reimu would 100% be into joining on her scheme if we go by Wahh
>>47718617>you don't look cuteI disagree
>>47718617Mating press
>>47718617Their scam would work if they kissed each other...
>>47728385She's hiding something MASSIVE in that dress...
>>47725587I'd pay to see that, so you're right.
>>47674667Guess I'll die then
