I told this old lady who sleeps all day she should lose some weight and she snapped her back when she tried sit-ups ;_; what do I do now? I'm so sorry
>>48122469I was drinking tea with her in the mansion and she suddenly smiled and said "thank you for choosing me anon!". What the hell is wrong with her? Who would be so desperate to hang out with a loser like me?
>>48122469Flabby old hag
>>48124668my gf looks like that
>>48124668We won't fund her treadmill.
bump
>>48124668
>>48132428Is Chen playing Portal 2?
>>48124668the perfect body type for lap pillowsjust imagine how comfy that would be, no wonder she’s so smugh
>>48124333She just loves you anon, you should love her back.
>>48137577cute train nerdimagine politely indulging a rant about train facts from her only to have her be so encouraged by your interest that she opens gaps and starts dumping trains into the area so she can better illustrate things for you
Yukarin saggers
Mating press
>>48136675I wanna grope the belly
>>48124333>What the hell is wrong with her? Who would be so desperate to hang out with a loser like me?Love is irrational anon
This is adorable
>>48157628>>48157059This artist is a spawn from hell
>>48157654I disagree
>>48153559wtf? where did you find that picture of Yukarin and I?
>>48153559it would be a lot of fun to share in her hobbies
>>48137577>>48138831Yukari abusing her god-like powers to give you an autistim fueled tour of her favourite trains!
>>48153559Even marriage couldn't make her less desperate.Sad!
>>48172362Those bitches
>>48172863Schoolgirls have evolved for millennia to sniff out pathetic hags wherever they go.No matter how much they try to mask it, the truth will always come out.
>>48172362Ran looks hot in a school uniform
I love Yukari so muchThis dorky gap hag needs big happy family correction
>>48124668Made for creating half-youkai.
She’s an evil, lazy, haughty, hag with hygiene issues who doesn’t even deserve her awesome powers and station. But an arguably foolish part of me still likes the Gappy.
Would you like some cookies, anon?
>>48173405They’re not drugged or anything right?
>>48173561Of course not. Yukari is a lot of things, but drugging innocent men is something that disgusts even her. Only desperate girls with creepy eyes would need to resort to that.Auntie Yukarin just wants to see the smile on your face as you enjoy some delicious baked goods. It brings a smile to her face, too.
>>48173617I want to bring a smile to her face by eating her out continuosly
>>48173617>desperate girls with creepy eyes Hmmm, looks familiar here…But you know what? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt but play it safe. Since you seem confident in her sweetness, why don’t you eat a few of her scrumptious and clean cookies first?
>>48173561She just put her cum in them
>>48172362If you marry Yukari, does Ran become a sister in law or something closer to a step daughter? Also, what about Chen?
>>48170014based
>>48174751I love her goofy ass smile in that pic
>>48177039You’re probably going to make her blush saying that.
>>48176486If you marry Yukari you just become one of her wives, right at the bottom of the totem pole. Chances are Ran and Chen would get permission to grow a dick and use you if they wanted.
>>48174751>why don’t you eat a few of her scrumptious and clean cookies first?Your loss, dude. More for me, then.OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!
>>48178575I’m not sure if it’s Cookie Monstah or the frosty baka eating Yucookies, but how do you feel?
Huge, pretty nails
>>48188800I see the way this artist draws Yukari's smile and understand completely how so many men could die over Helen of Troy.
This morning I had a dream about Yukari, though our interaction was limited to observation. It was at a gas station and she was filling a vending machine up full of gasoline. I distinctly remember she had at least $160 dollars of gas pumped, at a buck fifty that's a bit over a hundred gallons she was pumping in through the machine's coin slot. At some point she stopped and just left, the dream ended shortly after.What did she mean by this?
>>48197930Yukarin-sama is known to sometimes partake in what is frequently referred to as 'just a little bit of trolling ;)'>>48174751They are quite delicious, can confirm.>>48173340She isn't even that evil once you get to know her! She just tends to get lonely is all, I'd say the real foolishness would stem from not giving her at least one chance or two when you can
>>48201686Yukari is still bad. But I would kick myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t *carefully* give her a chance, totally not spiked cookies included here.
>>48202320But whatever she may or may not have spiked them with makes them taste so good...
>>48201686>>48202320>>48202397Let's not get too hasty with the baked sweets now. Really give it a good think. If they look like immaculate little cookies then I have a niggling feeling that she didn't make them herself. The thought counts sure, but these aren't perfect and elegant Yukarin's homemade cookies. She probably isn't going to give you anything she made herself, so what you aughta do is ask her if you could bake them together.
>>48202397This is the baked goods equivalent of a Venus flytrap. Then again, with how powerful Yukari is, she’s only maybe doing an elaborate spiked food trap because simply sucking a bloke through a gap got boring after the last seventy eight times she did it this year and prefers a chase to a prompt catch.>>48202493She can still likely cook and bake better than me. So I’d be all for it to do something with her such as this.Ran had better be on standby with a fire extinguisher though or otherwise ready to intervene.
>>48202493>>48202530Okay you two actually have pretty decent points there. Can't help but imagine that Baking Time with Yukari would only devolve into her telling me what to do and how due to her lack of hands-on experience though, all while watching me with a smile. Still sounds funny to me and fun regardless, high risk of inevitable kitchen shenanigans and/or food meddling after the fact aside.
>>48202681I’ve said it before, she may be an autistic monster girl, but you won’t have dull moments with her.
>>48173617>Yukari is a lot of things, but drugging innocent men is something that disgusts even her. Only desperate girls with creepy eyes would need to resort to that.Is this a jab at her old friend from long-time-forward?
>>48202493I know someone whose cookies are perfect and elegant!
>>48189364It would probably be really rare to get a genuine smile out of her vs the sly, catty grin she usually has
>>48203007Perish the thought.Do you really believe a great and powerful and youthful youkai such as Yukari Yakumo would do such a petty thing?She's obviously just speaking in generalities. You know how those weird-eyed girls are.
Anon, it's time again for Yukarin to continue her lectures on all her favorite engines from The Railway Series and how they were depicted in its various adaptations.
>>48203059Very rare indeed, which begs the question: As she's someone quite experienced in life and likely not prone to happy surprises, what would you even have to do to elicit a genuine smile from Yukari?
Show me her bra collection.
>>48208771cant we talk of some more cool train series, like maitetsu?
>>48211981
>>48212074I don't know about smiling, anon... She certainty seems flustered but how do we accomplish complete Yukari happiness?
>>48213945Kissu~
>>48217630This Yukari is exclusively into girls
>>48211981Listen with genuine interest & enthusiasm while she talks about topics such as >>48208771 at great length, making sure to retain as much as I can while occasionally bringing up points or subjects from conversations prior so she knows I really have been caring all this time. Laugh at her funny little remarks every so often too.Then I'd treat her to a specially prepared cravings dinner of my own making as we enjoy the meal tenderly by the fireplace!Then she'd take me back to her room an
>>48223561See? That's why you need to be careful around Yakumo Yukari. The Anon above just expressed some willingness to be genuinely nice and he was immediately gapped in the middle of typing.Her thirst for human interaction is far too great for anyone's wellbeing. In fact, I
>>48223561>>48224873Oh no, should we try to find these two? Yukari just straight up took them without even having met with them but simply because they wouldn’t tell her to “go away” or “shower smelly hag” and such. I’m a bit jealous.
>>48223561>Then she'd take me back to her room an...let you tuck her in and turn on the night light so that she can get a good night's sleep?
>>48223561>>48224873Yukari 'eats' anons on an hourly basis.What a whore! No wonder she can't get a boyfriend, nobody wants the village bike.
>>48225631>>48227551Well, I (>>48224873) have returned. I am sadly under explicit gag order and can't tell much. However, it wasn't as bad as I thought it will be. The other Anon is not coming back, I am afraid. He went to happier place...
Today i dreamed that i was having sex with BBW Yukari and i couldn't get her off me because she was too heavy
>>48234519Nooo! It should have been me!
>>48234519How heavy exactly?
>>48230736A shame about that other guy and the gag order. But hypothetically, what would happen if you broke it? The people and I demand to know what Yukari did to you during your forced captivity!
>>48230736I think I would probably cry if Yukari gave me a warm hug
>>48235463Very heavy. I remember that in the dream she didn't last even a minute before finishing, i asked her for more sex but she wanted to sleep instead. But instead of sleeping she started kissing me, i tried to get her off me but she was too heavy, i felt her entire weight pushing against my torso even though she was sitting on my hips.
>>48237955>i felt her entire weight pushing against my torso even though she was sitting on my hipsThe yukariccubus is real.
>>48234519That’s hot
>>48237955Dainty, cute foot
>>48238067Lesbians
The funny thing about a plump Yukari is that she could effortlessly will away any bodily trait she determines to be a blemish so you, of course, have to question if having a fuller figure is how she wants to be perceived or if she's too listless to use her powers on herself.Either way, you can't help but love her the same.
>>48244391>have to question if having a fuller figure is how she wants to be perceived or if she's too listless to use her powers on herself.maybe she subconsciously sees herself as plump so even if she uses her power to make herself slim it wouldn't keep
>>48239876Yukari-sama's agressive, yet soft and gentle footjob!! Getting kissed on the neck from behind, getting my hair and head petted and being called a good boy while getting my dick sandwiched between her soft feet, feeling like two pillows rubbing against my sensible glans without mercy!!
>>48245286One word for this sweet sage: N E E D.
>>48245286Holy fuck
Fatty lmao
>>48244987No small part thanks to her fox reminding her the exact amount of calories she's taking in and giving her a complex about it.
Ok niggers the propaganda worked and now I cant help but cum to the old hag on a regular basis.Now what.
>>48249201Cum harderCum stronger
>>48249201Despair
>>48122469had a dream i was a border crossing guard into gensokyo and i let yukari and chen through. what does this mean?
>>48249201>>48249679She'll come for you soon.
>>48250186I wish she'd come for me.
>>48244987>Have near infinite reign over physical space and can manipulate forms with just a thought>But any attempts at remolding yourself are reversed by your own deep rooted self-esteem complexes>Meaning you have complete dominion over all the world except yourselfWith a situation like that, she seems to be in dire need of correction through intense sessions of hand-holding, positive, self-affirming headpats, and convincing her she's fine as she is.
>>48250186well, if that's what's gonna happen, then i better prepare. does she like wine? chocolate?i'm just scared she'll eat me right off the bat, i'm hoping if i bring her something she'll like me or at least let me run away
>>48255916>wineTry ούζο, Guinness and sake first.
Yukari Yakumo fighting style: https://youtu.be/gDQltEznD9Q
>>48256004i suppose you're right, i thought she might have somewhat western tastes. you know, given the blonde hair, the royal purple dress... her curvy figure...
>>48256888Rum or Whiskey cocktails if you want to give her something with some sweetness other than wine thats still western. Hell, try white claws, I think she would like them
>>48255916Laughing my ass off rn at the imagery of Yukari coming to abduct and/or kill this Anon at his house and instead finding a candlelit date night with expensive sake and chocalates.
>>48263068"W-well since you're so insistent I'll take it!"
>>48176486Ran would become the daughter in law and Chen would be the granddaughter in law for sure
>>48263217She would pop a massive boner seeing all that.
Imagine the headpats
Ara ara
>>48275202Would she headpat you while drilling your butthole?
>>48263068i mean, would it work or not???
Saggy
>>48279316I want to leave those saggers covered in bite marks
>>48281417I need her to leave my neck and shoulders covered in bite marks
>>48281417>>48282269At this point I must wonder who’s eating who here?
>>48282313They're the humie so of course its gappy gobbling them upHer fangs were made for chomping on humans that get lured into her claws
>>48288837Dangerous and alluring monster woman…
The most elegant, beautiful lady in Gensokyo? Yeah, that would be the Gappy.
>>48289212From lolikari to clampkariGross
>>48288837>>48288888Gappy loves the feeling of your terrified squirming underneath her and your racing heartbeat on her lipslife and death, only a quick nip of her fangs away. Do you trust her?
>>48292503I know better and would do everything in my little power to stay the fuck away from this bizarre creature appearing as a dainty and eccentric young woman. But a dumber and and horny part of me wants to be this refined monster’s yummy lil chew toy and even if I were to act in line with the above, resisting would just make it more enjoyable for a predator like Yukari. Ah, sage-sama.
>>48289505No need to be such a sissy, Anon. Yukari is Yukari.
>>48288888Quintuplets of ultimate truth, my god...>>48292503I 100% need this please oh please.>Do you trust her?Yes! Unreasonably so in fact!
imagine the sex
>>48300124Anon let's be real hereShe would throw out her back trying to act sexy and spend the next 2 hours crying in embarrassment as you try and comfort her
>>48300166If she tries to hold a sexy position for any amount of time she'll be down for a day afterwards.
>>48300124I don't need to imagine :3
instant improvement
>>48300166I would happily comfort her, we can just cuddle and hold hands.
>>48300353vids
Speaking of cuddling/sexing Yukari, I've been bothered recently by the question of whether or not Yukari can actually reciprocate physical intimacy. In CoLA, her hand gets bludgeoned by Rinnosuke and not only does she express zero discomfort but she only seems irked that an attempt was made to stop her curiosity rather than being upset at the means by which refusal came around. By comparison, would soft, delicate affection by someone like you or I even register to her? The deeper meaning of the gesture likely wouldn't be lost but, without the totality of the literal sensation to accompany it, wouldn't us to her feel like no more than a fly pitching on your arm? Skinship is integral to all forms of relationship, romantic or otherwise, so being unable to sustain that would probably make maintaining a relationship with Yukari difficult...
>>48309107It could just be your interpretation. Youkai durability is something ridiculous that I could see Yukari stopping a sword with her finger, she blocks the mallet because she knows it's child's play to stop it. But the rest of her actions were laid out as calm and delicate. The finger wagging comes across as more playful and teasing, she made a whole show of it rather than just yoinking the gameboy away at the earliest convenience.
>>48310288>Youkai durability is something ridiculousThat durability would probably only exists for youkai who were described as or had legends of their durability like tengu and oni
>>48309107You might want to look it the other way around: Rinnosuke is exceptionally frail and weak.
>>48309107Of course she can!
Pretty lady
>>48313514Yukarin is 17! She's a girl!
>>48313537Girls don't have cocks that hang down to their knees.
>>48309107That seems more like a "resistant to mundane blunt force" thing than a "can't feel any physical stimuli" thing.
>>48279316I can see her areola
>>48320423If she asked me to, I'd kiss it
>>48324012with my glans
>>48172362kill them yukari
>>48122469The most elegant, beautiful and fun 2huI would genuinely die for her
Who did this to Yukari?
>>48182499>>48178575It has been 20 days since I made this post. Anon was in fact drugged and taken by the baking Gappy…
>>48330738Cute foot
>>48336260I suddenly want to move to western Russia. Or live at North Africa or the Middle East for that matter.
>>48288888Imagine being stuck at the crossroads of being terrified of the sheer power and presence Yukari exudes, but at the same time, you can’t help but love her and want to make her happy.She’d have you cornered after yet another of your attempts to try and court her. Looking down at you, she’ll inquire about why you’re doing this before threatening your life out of instinct. You’ll tell her that you don’t want to die, but that you also want to make her happy. With a catty smile, she’ll ask if you think she’s unhappy. Considering how she’s basically at the top of the proverbial and literal food chain in Gensokyo, along with her devout servant Ran, you can’t argue that she isn’t at least satisfied. However, you tell her that, while it may be selfish, you just want to be a part of her happiness. To know that you could make her smile.Yukari will pause for a moment, scanning your face for any form of dishonesty. Then, she’ll slowly crouch down and cup your cheek. She’ll lift your head up by your chin to look her directly in the eyes. With a much softer smile, Yukari will remark that you’re a fool, albeit an adorable one. Her curiosity now peaked, she’ll stand back up and offer a challenge. She’ll bring you with her, and if you can gain Ran’s and Chen’s favor along with satisfying Yukari herself before a set deadline, you can spend the rest of your days comfortably at her side. If you fail, she’ll devour you.A date with the devil, so to speak.
>>48122469I met a strange lady, she made me nervous.
>>48338542I wish Yukari would make me breakfast
>>48339007Yukari will buy you something from the mcdonalds breakfast menu at best. This is assuming she actually wakes up before noon.
>>48339073that would be very sweet of her
>>48339007>ChantaThat Yukari would rather have breakfast made for her.Every day.Maybe fed to her too.
>>48338468Beautiful image along with this wonderfully written entry. I feel like the best way to impress a woman as grand as her along with her familiars is simple and paradoxical based on what you’ve already covered here with her.Yukari already is well above most and sits comfortably and lazily at a lofty position. So perhaps being simple yet straightforward with her yet occasionally challenging her in a light fashion is the key to further success. After all, being a “simple fool” yet doggedly and perhaps ill-advisedly chasing a existentially hazardous monster like her is what won you the chance to be with her. Keep to the script yet adding onto it should possibly work. But if it fails, at least you’ll be beaten and eaten by one of the best versus just some dumb beast youkai.
>>48339198it sounds wonderfulimagine Ran asking you to grab Yukari for breakfast but she doesn't want to get up so you have to princess carry her to the table
>>48339813that's a lot gentler than her usual method of getting the old lady up
>>48339844someone has to spoil her rotten
Guys, do you think that Yukari would be willing to share her husband (me) with Ran, Yuyuko and the other sages?
>>48340127Ran and Chen is a big maybe even if they’re in her household. Yuyuko more so even if she’s a friend. Forget about the rest, they can get their own damned cute humie husbands that she may or may not have abducted.
>>48340127A women as greedy as Yukari sharing?Anon you're crazy, if anything she would brag to everyone about how she has a man and they don't
>>48340127If you're not loyal you don't deserve her
>>48340355Those are some nice words!But how can any one of you be loyal when there are many of you lusting over the same woman?
>>48340430Lofty of any single one of you to assume that you would be the first, even more so that you would be the last as well.
>>48343631Position does not matter, the very fact that you lust simultaneously does!Have you ever considered... dueling?There can be only one!
I want this lady to fully unleash upon me her autistic knowledge on trains
>>48344358Going on a date with Yukari and she just does this >>48137577 the entire time
>>48344358All the trains?
>>48345423Going on a date with Yukari and making her hopping mad by saying "I just think planes are cooler".
>>48345423Looking at her get embarassed after nerding out for 3 hours about trains, thinking that having an obsession like that is too juvenile, making her look way too cute in the process. True GAP MOE.
>>48346152All the trains. You have to look at all the pictures she's taken too.
>>48346258When you tell her you think it's cute
If Yukari wanted to get a boyfriend why didn't she just follow the advice and tips of her old friend Renko?
>>48353664PrideShe used to be able to pull in guys without even tryingNow, even with the threats she can't get them to do and day what she wants
>>48353664She's too high IQ for such kindergarten methods.
>>48353517Cute hag
It's funny to think that, being the maker of Gensokyo's borders, she convinced all would be residents that mob caps are the quintessence of high fashion and almost everyone believed her.I can almost see her handing one out to each asylum seeker at the gate.
I love this hag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrmevLXE_kM
>>48364705Is The Cars Yukarin's favorite band?
The 'kari.
Jealous?
30 children with my wife Yukarin isn't enough! We need to make sure that at least 60% of Gensokyo's population has purple eyes and blonde hair!
