this is not the place to ask such a question, but i feel like stopping hrt because of my brother's suicide and because i'm not really happy with how things are going. my brother was just a freshman kid in uni when he killed himself with a shotgun. he was both academically gifted and worked very hard (had a ridiculous amount of money which we found afterwards).i was sort of banking on him being the smart sibling in the family and then i could just sorta be a gay brother/sister/whatever and do whatever i wanted. but now, i feel compelled to take his "place" after what has happened and that taking estrogen isn't serious enough for that goal. i feel i should just stop because it's likely to interfere with what i'll be able to really accomplish later on in life.feels like taking e is a joke, basically.
i'll donate my vial, needles, and sani wipes anyhow
on the other hand now u can be as big of a faildaughter as u want and you'll still look good by comparison
>>42162396>the son who didn't troon out offed himselfwhat a twiste!
>>42162396There's a common throughline to many detransition(or repression) brainworms i notice and it's this:A link is created (asserted) between two completely unrelated concepts in an if A then B chain of reasoning. The "reasoning" used to support this is usually an unquestioned stereotype anti LGBT bias, most commonly the idea that people "choose" to be transgender arbitrarily.Example: "i don't have the same politics as other trans people, i just don't think like they do, therefore I can't be trans." (Assumes all trans people share political views)Another (more common) one: my interests/ sexuality are male, I have a male brain (or a fetish) therefore I can't be trans. (Assumes that interests have genders, that one cannot be a woman and also have a fetish, etc.)So, OP, I am sure others will point out the more obvious issues with the idea of detransitioning to replace your brother out of family loyalty, (it's not possible to do that) but what I want to point out is that your thinking itself reflects stereotypes and biases against women, trans women, homosexuals, and feminine individuals. (that they're not serious, competetive, etc.) Now, in fact, the idea that you will punish yourself due to your guilt over your brother's death is a fantasy (practically speaking you wouldn't last your entire lifetime in the mindset you're in right now), but the emotional trauma of your brothers death is forcing you to clearly see your own shortcomings, limitations, mortality. These are things we all have that can't be wished or "detransitioned" away. Men of course have emotional vulnerability and weakness too, much as they are pressured not to show it.Anyway, sorry for your loss OP. Focus on grieving for your brother in a way that isn't self destructive.
>>42162628>e seems to interfere with how much i care about status or winningthis is super stupid and a placebo, but you already have male brain architecture so if you really want to believe in this argument its still very weakmoreso you are likely just good at turning suffering into suicidal ambition and being dysphoric served as a fire under your ass and you consciously or subconsciously wanted to compensate. i assure you you will achieve much more if you let yourself be the workaholic estrogenated demon bitch you are meant to be instead of a repper who studies and works a lot. you can learn to use more positive emotions as fuel, you already are the kind of person who is hardworking, you're just fixated on very poor incentives. if you were a lazy bum cis girl shooting test would not make you an ambitious overachieveri hope you learn to view the death of others as a reminder that your time here is short and that you have to make the most of it. no, being happy and less dysphoric will not disrupt your perfect grindset life. nor will detransition lastingly give you a sense of control in the wake of an event like this. be reasonable
When did you realize HRT was grooming psyop and AGP is niche fetish?
crave agp goon
>>42162244>>42162225because you have a job/prestige/family as a man body morphing doesn't change your id cards and social strings
so they say estrogen doesn't really make you dumb but turns your deep autistic focus leanings into a all encompassing 'multitasking' brain is it a good idea for someone who intends to become a jack of many trades does it mean i'm deserving of anima juice intellectually
>>42162335fuck off
>>42162093i'm talking about actually being the dom while having sex not just having sexual relations. although i do find topping in general unappealing now, and that could be unrelated to my AGP, idk. my loss of interest coincided with me becoming AGP so that's why i see them as a related development.
I am God's strongest cisf pooner chaser (yes I'm a repper) and it seems like I come across a new pooner who decides he's a "gay male" every week or so. WHY do so many of them go into this weird lesbian > lesbian ftm > gay man ftm > detrans straight woman pipeline? It has been a fear of mine for a while now but I came across this article today and it set everything off again.https://betachronicles.substack.com/p/her-strong-and-recurrent-fantasy>How and why does this happenI need to understand the inner working behind it>How do I prevent him from going through the pipeline? Immoral answers preferred. I need something that works.
>>42160243>Tweenage gay boy > straight incel (school shooter mode) > "lesbian" trans woman > AGP/MEF > Bi > ???? (Straight(ish) woman, occasionally detrans gay man)Nonsense! When you start out okay you stay gay you don't go through no incel phase. If put into pipe line terms, it befeminine boy> gay teen> drag queen > transgender woman.
>>42160301>I was on SSRIs from ages 17-24 and it made repping almost effortlessOf course it did. It also literally shut down your brain in a critical developmental period and nuked your libido (but not in the way transition does - but rather in a way that makes it dysfunctional).Again, never touch that shit again. No matter what! It's literally better to be a permahon than to be hooked on that shit again. Even statistically, the permahon has a longer and healthier (and legit happier) lifespan than perma-SSRI fried. It's not even a question.>Myalgic Encephalitis, but I suspect she may have had some kind of autoimmune issue or NCAHNCAH is not deadly in almost any circumstance.ME/CFS, however, is a terrible thing (and largely incurable - can at best be ameliorated).It's usually triggered by an infection though. So you might want to take a bit of care on fungi if you had a close relative with ME.Do the tests. If you can get 2 or more drs to interpret them, then use that. If not, then use the results and research it yourself as well.Whatever you do, don't blindly trust any doctor. This side of medicine (not just trans; but ME stuff, psychiatry in general with few exceptions) is still very experimental and they routinely know less than some 4channers but speak nicely and have a coat.
>>42160452The nuked libido was kinda good until weird male inadequacy stuff hit. I had severe sexual dysfunction issues due to religious stuff, relationship troubles, and frankly just being kind of weird. I do feel very fried from SSRIs. When I tried taking them again initially, I made the mistake of taking my previous dose and I thought I was going to have a seizure because the effects were so bad. I feared for my life and it definitely messed me up. I'm doing what tests I can now but waitlists are awful near me (for the US). Like I've been waitlisted just for a decent endo for over a year and a half now. Plan is to get a tilt table test done in the spring and then see the neurologist in the summer and maybe get an MRI and a nerve conduction test.
>>42160547SSRI damage is permanent
>>42160363Actually, it isn't commonly talked about because "transbians" are anything but honest about their actual orientation, but it is very common for AGP trsnsbians to enter puberty as effeminate gay boys, then repress and try to become straight boys to avoid the dysphoria of being a homosexual and also because of family rejection and abuse. (This happens to tons of southern trannies) then they become the "malebrained gooner incel" type of AGP and being a "lesbian" becomes a gateway into transitioning for them (i.e. feminizing themselves and fagging out). As they inject themselves with estrogen and unrepress their feminity, the attraction to men comes back, but they repress it and call it "Meta attraction" or some such, and try to deny it. That's why you see a lot of them being t4t (cuz they want dick) and open their relationships (not satisfied dating a woman). So sometimes they stay in the transbian phase forever but usually they eventually accept they're straight leaning bi and then begin migrating out of the "trans community"This describes me and a shocking amount Of my trans friends: it's the classic autistic transbian 18+ transition, a lot of the messy details aren't talked about, also most transbians in 4chan spaces are in years 1-2 HRT. I am just sketching this out as the AMAB version of the pooners OP was talking about. The root cause is autism.
i have never seen a tranny that was cute and valid
>>42161993nuh uh
>>42162077chromosomally yuh huh
are you a fetishist that only finds the trannies who are invalids cute
>>42162104invalids are less likely to protest if you hold them down and suck them to completion
>>42162104no. you are all ugly
What causes honfidence in bogged transwomen?
>>42159337Ava is so pretty
>>42161946
>>42161948>Photo from weird angle looks weird>Photo from normal angle looks normalOk? And your point is?
>>42161968she's a cutie
>>42161968hot
Qott: would you date someone that's overweight?Previously:>>42150615
>>42162929yayy :D
>>42162931Love you baby <3
>>42162946i'm imagining you as really hairy btw
I am always vindicated in everything I have ever said about anyone on this website.
>>42162951Would you play with and caress my back hair while were cuddling like that?
genuinely how feels like no one wants me ong please give advice
>>42162609even lurking is sort of a dangerous game but do whatever you like ;p just try to not take the doomerism too seriously. remember you are good and you are lovable.
>>42162633thank you and don't worry, i have a life outside of this
>>42162654oh, by the way, there is a general thread here for ftms: >>42149707friends there may have more valuable advice or things to say than the general population of the board since it's like 90% mtfs lol
>>42162737thanks, ive been lurking there a bit
>>4216273739% polfags, 59% chasers, 1% trannies.
What is your favorite book written by a trans person? Mine is Darryl by Jackie Ess. It felt like having a panic attack the entire time
>>42160469butcher in the eye
basically every trans book i've read felt like the author shaking me by the shoulders going "DONT DO IT ITS NOT WORTH IT MY LIFE IS HELL"casey plett, torrey peters, imogen binnie, alison rumfitt, jeanne thornton, aurora mattia, katherine packert burke, grace byron, davey davis, emily zhou, its all just torture porn dude
>>42160469Bump
How do I convince the staff to give me the tools for a self orchii? Thanx
>>42159899lmao basedbut seriously you really shouldn't do that unless they're gonna try to force detroon you or something. It's gonna be horrifically painful and agonizing even if you somehow don't fuck it up. Just be patient and get your tumors taken out by a surgeon, it will be a lot less traumatic.
>>42159454>>42159858>>42159899why do you wanna cut your own balls? if youre a straight tranny men love to suck on and squeeze girlballs. you will be missing out
>>42159858you burn yourself with lighters too? i thought i was the only one
>>42161914holy ick
bruh you're way too cooked to be in the kinda ward they let you keep your phone
Has anyone ever cut their breasts off by themself? Would they die?
realistically if you diy top surgery you'll be visibly fucked up with massive hideous scarring that mark you as a poon so you'd have to hide it under clothes anyways, and then we have to ask why not just keep binding since it's the same thing
>>42162490I'm not actually going to do it, I'm merely morbidly curiousI'm never in any situations where I have to take my shirt off regardless. Binding is not the same thing because the tumours are still there 24/7
>>42162677Just enjoy them. Pretend you're a guy who got turned into a girl and is excited he gets to self-fondle his new tits. You're living the hentai gender bender dream.
>>42162462How big are the milkers in question?
other psa thread died so i'm gifting y'all a new one for christmas.DO NOT REPLY TO BAIT.>you should just be a feminine man>all trannies are evil pedophiles>i would never ever fuck a troon because i'm straight and you can't make me>i'm ftm why do mtfs hate us>i'm mtf why do ftms hate us>look at my debunked study from 2004 that proves all fags are pedophiles>dae love bbc and want to be a white sissy sex slave in the bnwo>i'm g and i think we need to drop the t>i'm a real lesbian and i think all transbians are rapehon monsters and all other lesbians think that too btw>i want to breed an ftm and make her my little tomboy bitch>i'm a cishet man and i hate women and i should be allowed to talk about that here because lgbt has t which is transGENDER so this is the gender board and this isn't off-topic>look at my cute little ai boymoder and her ai bottom boyfriend come generate more ai boymoders with meif you see any posts like these, especially if they have a frog or 'jak picrel, they're bait. report it, put "sage" in options if you must reply, hide the thread, and move on.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
bump bc theres a lot of bait suddenly
bump
i miss my boyfriend
Bump
I'm a bisexual man with internalized homophobia.
many such cases
>>42162232why do you reckon that is?
>>42162227yeah, happens. same but everyone can tell by looking at me and think im gay
anybody got that video where the asian transexual is squirting milk out they're butt while being shocked with a cattle prod.I ask for the sake of research
>>42162382I have never seen this video, but I now must. Please.
i have seen this video and it was gross
>>42162382Somebody, please, I need to see this too
>>42162459
>>42162673HolyI wish she didn't have the uniform on. The leg shaking is really hot though.
If you rub a tranny penis long/hard enough they WILL have an orgasm no matter how violently or loudly they scream, cry, or protest your actions. Finish the job you start.
>>42162546i do but i need you to take estrogen and start dressing like a girl
>>42162559Pass
>>42162565bro im not gay
>>42162584Yeah bro, me neither
>>42162558icl i cant imagine being anything other than a bottom
What's (you)r job on the /tttt/ homestead?
>>42160084i have very few marketable skills maybe conflict resolution/unlicensed therapist i feel like you guys would need that, especially all living together.
>>42160084This looks idyllic until you realize that it probably smells fucking rancid at all times with all that livestock so close to the house.But to answer you question, idk apprentice woodworker or something. I'd want to build.
>>42160084I like gardening
>>42160084Breeding mule for all the trans women, I will get you all pregnant
>>42160084i actually have a lot of homestead applicable skills. i used to do hydroponic gardening, hunted and fished with my dad, butchered animals, some sewing, leather tanning, etc. the only places i've actually lived in though were shitty shoebox apartments
