Really considering starting hrt again or killing myself
>>35395373I am a longhaired masculine man, its impossible to be feminine
>>35392835because i feel fucking miserable and i’m only a twinkhon at best and i probably transitioned bc of agp
>>35395711I cant change my grotesque bones and genes
I’m probably going to stop Hrt, I miss the feeling of being numb like that. I miss just going to work getting home getting drunk and not thinking about these thoughts, having them only exist when I’m crying to myself thinking about my life. Now I think about it all the time I feel better but I feel guilty for it I hate that I ever tried estrogen and liked it because I realize now that if I could’ve just had this chemical in my brain when I was 13 I would’ve been so happy but now I am just a ghost of a person constantly breaking down because I can’t handle my reality. I made this prison for myself so I might as well rot in it I guess. Hopefully reincarnation is real
I honestly believe that it will all pass by the time I'm 30. I'm 18 years old right now. It's probably just another one of my phases. Funny thing is, I don't mind growing old as a man that much. I was made to be a male, so I'm going to accept that. I can live with the suffering and desire to be a girl because I can't do anything about that. I don't have to ruin my life.
>>35395711>>35395808come on now
>>35395808Being a flamer doesn't make you physically feminine
Is it still repping if I'm already doing laser, voice traning (still fucking at it tho), told a couple close friends I'm considering trooning out and also asked my therapist to call me by my girl name?
>get on hrt>become a troon which is basically just a disgusting male pervert>don't get on hrt>cry about not being a woman>>35395835>tfw almost 30 and it hasn't passed
>>35395835Im 28 and its badder than ever, whatever you do decide about it, dont let your life rot away due to it like me
>>35394864Don’t do it it was so much easier to repress before that happened
>>35395901anon I already have the skirt, and I shaved my bodyit is happening
December, 2022>Started HRT with estradiol enanthate injectables...March, 2023>Quit HRTApril 2023>Started HRTMay 2023>Quit HRTJune 2023>Started HRT...August 2023>Quit HRT>Destroy vials and injection supplies...April 2024>Started HRTI'm so fucking retarded brosI wish that I was better.I have a boyfriend (who is obviously gay and man-loving) now and I'm too fucking scared to tell him about what I'm doing, even though he'll figure it out once he sees my body changing. I already mentioned it to him that I had a time in the past that I was doing it, so he'll put the pieces together. I love him so much and I'm so fucking scared of what's going to happen as a result of this. I'm such a fucking idiot anons. I just want to be happy.
I started hrt in April 2018, I regret it.I'm begging all of you, don't do it unless you're 110% certain because you can never be a normal man once you have freakish tits.
>>35396272A lucky genetical thing, you can have a gayface and be a linebacking barrellchested flamer, a face and maneurisms wont make you feminine, just annoying
>>35396678A gorilla man acting as a sassy black woman, gee fuck idk man
talk me out of going on hrt
>>35395835>I honestly believe that it will all pass by the time I'm 30lollmao
Arguments against trooning:>will lose lots of friends and family who think you're crazy (you are)>constantly need to take pills and other medication, just more headaches to worry about>need to constantly groom yourself double the amount as cis people just to pass>will never be taken seriously outside very liberal and art circles. Will always be a tranny first.Arguments for trooning:>better dopamine hits when you're horny
Injected
having long hair makes me even more dysphoria, since i have long male hair, not long womanly hair. i dont even know how to take care of it. how often to shampoo, if at all, condition, how to dry it., etc. when to brush.
>>35395835famous repper last words
>>35395349Do not do the BoomHerHon to rope pipeline lol plan a transition with money and shit lol
>>35395835I actually agree with you and feel the same way. I'm 24 and and when I was 21-22 I had a tranny phase, but as I get older I care less and less. I really do just prefer to grow into a man rather than an old hag. Sometimes I do wish I trooned when I was younger, but it was always just AGP selfishness that wanted to love and attention and the full body orgasm of a young woman, but being an older man is much cooler going forward.
>>35399111>AGP selfishness that wanted to love and attention and the full body orgasm of a young woman,i also envy female sexuality
This thread makes me sad to read. Granted I've only been on hrt half a year and I'm a late shit, I can only imagine how much worse it would have gotten for me if I didn't choose to transition. Yeah I lost old friends who refuse to call me byy my new name, but I made new ones too, its just part of change
>>35399831Shut the fuck up bitch, you have an entire board and you still invade repping spaces.
>thread about repping>most posters are just manmoders
>>35400559because reppers only ever say the same shit>its over>>35400258youll be on hrt before you know it
>>35395835start now or you will troon out at 30 and end up looking like this.
>>35400685i trooned out at 18 and i look like this. basically why im gonna detroon
>>35400725unsee ur prolly just a bdd passoid
>>35400725show me your arse
>>35400760im not, im 6'0 and get gendered male consistently
>>35394775>Did best to ignore since childhood but one day said fck it & now cannot stop.>literally me. I was like okay this fucked up thing with crossdressing isnt going away might as well indulge it properly and stop being so ashamed. Its a part of me i should accept it its not going away and i like doing it so i should do it properly it might be fun. Then the first time i did it properly i immediately had break down and was ugly crying so hard for the first time in years, like just oh fuck its not just cding whatever its real.Ever since I learned my dressup routine & f** session is called AGP, I've felt worse. I look nothing like all the handsome twink femboys here. So I now start asking myself how does a non femboy cope w/ AGP? Am i worthy to be AGP? Now have increased BDD too. I wish it would all just go away.
>>35400772do you girlmode? im 5'9 and i also get gendered male constantly cuz im dressed like a boy always lol
>>35400887Stop being so harsh with yourself, chill the fuck out.Regardless of what you are, it's not worth it to beat yourself up like this, you are fine regardless of whatever you are, it's okay to be you.
>>35395349I love being a dude, it rarely if ever interferes with my sense of self, but i do admit i wish sometimes that i was born a girl. It has been less and less often lately, and over three years since that yearning. I take solace on the fact that my life would be largely the same, except id have fucked less cute girls. im happy
I will not troon out. I will suffer for suffering's sake.
>>35400890yes. 6'0 is an unnaturally tall height for a woman. i have a cis friend whose 5'9. but she is definitely not 6'0 and the difference is obvious. having a huge nose also does not help.
>>35400976You will suffer either way, there is no way to live without suffering.The question is do you want to suffer as a healthy man or as a weird bloated man with boobs? Society will treat you as a man regardless.
>>35401579Health is not an option either
>>35401579pro: you can dodge the draft
>>35401628Why would a man wearinh dresses or has a limp dick and swollen chest be exempted from draft lol
>>35401644mental health and change your gender
>>35401668The direction the world is headed they won't give a fuck if you're crazy.No amount of hormones can truly change a man's body. I've taken hrt for 6 whole years and I live as a normal man, I've got other physical health issues so I'd get through ww3 I guess.
>>35401711>they won't give a fuck if you're crazy.i guarantee they will unless theres an outright invasion, in which case its already over.i meant especially from a legal perspective, youre no longer on a draft list if you change your gender
gm /repgen/have you taken the acceptance pill today?>>35395835lmao I'm 29 and posting here and I thought the same thing. good luck>>35397301i feel like this just gets more and more bleak pretending the older you get. like i'm *very* close to starting hrt because being a 50yr old man acting girly seems like it would drive me to absolute insanity and at that point you'd boomerhon troon out and sui anyway. that path doesn't seem all that appealing the more i consider it. may as well take the brain-body alignment pill now and accept your fate.what's helped me is i've got some unbrainwormed normal tranny friends now who are in later stages, and just having the comfort that they'll be in my life regardless has actually been really nice. that's made the troon out option a lot more appealing desu
>>35402044Pinkpiller demonOUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OTU OUT
>>35402121:(
Dead thread and the half the posters arent even reppers.
i fucking hate "lad culture"anons from ireland/ the UK will know what i mean.
>>35400559mmg sucks and we're basically reppers anyway
>>35401644transgirldiaries was so funny. hopefully shes chilling now
>>35402700honestly the comic is right, theres nothing good about being trans. its an awful experience and the only thing i think is positive is the people ive met from being trans (which desu is what keeps me going)
do i spend the day playing moidbrained fps games or troonbait visual novels like >>35402121 picrel
>>35402791troon fpsplay ultrakill
picrel is meI don't want to be a trannythis is just brain rot right?
>>35402121why are you using picrel anon it’s like you want to transition retard
>>35403117No nigga
>>35403049It's cuz you're an effeminate twink and thus non-threatening.
>>35402366I love the lad culture I'm one of the lads, it's fun to just banter and talk nonsense a real men because they are in very short supply in the west nowadays LOLT. Irish
>>35403364Tfw both Iwnbaw and iwnbam
>>35403227genuinely makes me feel better, thank youi was thinking about bringing stuff like that up to my therapist but don't want her to encourage any stupid thoughts that occasionally creep up on me. probably a stupid idea
>>35403049the dog knowsdogs notice so much more shit like this when they don't have to worry about all the shit humans worry about
so after applying for disability bux (that i was going to use to buy hrt) i was denied. and this was after I had talked thoroughly with mental health professionals about it and them saying i would be approved. methinks i should give up on everything.
>>35403584How would a dog know? And no, female soul is not an acceptable answer.
>look into how doctors measure people who detransition>Find out that if someone drops out of their long-term study they don't count them as a detransitionerHaha, what a fucking joke. So that's where the whole "Trannies NEVER detransition !!" shit comes from.
>>35403443ywn get the feeling of some sketchy drug addict calling you young fella and making you feel like a strong man
>>35403872Get a job so you can better yourself AND your nation.being a tranny isn't justification to rot away as a neet.
>>35403584getting "clocked" by a dog is not what causes me to crack, i will not allow it
SSRIs helped me with dysphoria because it killed my desire to jerk off which is where a lot of my AGP came from.
I am not feminine in personality at all.I've been compared to larry david/gordan ramsayi am a personality honOver!
>>35404154>I am not feminine in personality at all.Because gender dysphoria is not someone acting like a specific gender but *wanting* to be that gender. There's no evidence that transpeople are "like" the gender they wish to be. >inb4 brain studiesThose just show that trannies have unique brains that are neither male nor female. And not much can be gleaned from then anyway
>>35404041ok but you gotta admit "a dog found out i was trans and then i knew i had to troon out" would be pretty funnyi mean the fact you're here means you've got something going on, sorry anonette
>>35404217>Because gender dysphoria is not someone acting like a specific gender but *wanting* to be that gender. There's no evidence that transpeople are "like" the gender they wish to be.A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s designated gender)
>>35404248>A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender yes, trannies THINK they're like the other gender but there's no data showing they are.
>>35403975yeah welfare should exclusively be for rapist brown migrants that do nothing but harass women all day
>>35404217>but *wanting* to be that gender.sound like they need to get the fuck over themselves to me!
going to cry in the shower about how iwnbaw before i start my day
>>35404559another successful day of repping
>>35404621well i didn't cry in the shower. i just sat there thinking about life.why can't i do it. why can't i troon and become the girl i want to be?is it just skill issue because i can't pass and am too old and too dumb
>>35404241i mean yeah, true would be funnymaybe if i just went through with it years ago i could have passed but at this point it would just fuck my life up im pretty sure
bumpthe iwnbaw feelings are getting really badi'm going to cry once i'm done with work today
>>35403959>>35403975Too late i will rotcelmaxx
how much longer till repping turns into roping
>>35406765you are a repper because your ancestors were reppersthey survivedyou can survive tooreject modernity, return to repping
>>35404559just cis male things
Does anyone here have not that much dysphoria about their body and only "I want to be a girl" thoughts? I think it's because I am underweight and thus not very male at all.
>>35400685Blaire needs to eat a fucking sandwich.>>35401644That baby's power stance...
>>35406674Come out for a few pints w the lads come on
I wish I could be a theyfab. I want to have a woman's body but be man-leaning in my presentation. I'm considering manmoding, but if I try that I bet I'll end up with large tits which'll ruin it.
banputoday i almost had a mental breakdown because i spent too much time looking at cis girls and thinking about how iwnbaw like them
i cant believe i was born into thisits so unfair
>>35407877No.
>>35395349It’s better to live and earn your suffering than to quit and be immortalized as a failure.
Do you ever get those "holy shit what is my life" moments where everything goes slow motion and zooms out for a few seconds and it feels like you're on the precipice of an entirely new dimension of sadness but then you snap out of it
Life sucks, man. It really does
im really sad. really depressed tonight. thought about all the friends i lost. thinking about how horrible of a person i am. im really sorry to my old friends, i did them wrong. i got too in my head and depressed about being a girl. even though im just a boy. with mental problems.
>>35410764>>35402121>posts troonsbian picrelNgmi
I've been on hrt for 4 years and had a sudden realization that I didn't at all feel better. I often felt better being immersed in depersonalization and dissociation as a guy. I had more fun with friends. I had dreams and passions. Now my entire life is about being this "thing". Everything centers around being this "thing." I can't form relationships or be around friends. No matter how much I feminize I'm still just a "thing". I get gendered both ways or as they. I don't feel good. I think I might be cooked, because I cant go forwards.or backwards, and I don't feel like a person anymore.
>>35413625i hate being trans. but i dont know if i feel worse than being cis. idk, im still in a dark place, well see how i feel if i survive a few more years
>>35413686Both feel bad in different flavors. Tfw your only options are "feel like shitass" and "feel like shitass remix".
>>35413716Today a new thought hit me, what if it really was too late. Like why did I even bother? God, I wish I was able to commit suicide successfully.
i hate having hairy hands and arms, its so disgusting, what is the reason for this? i dont even want to be a girl its just that girls actually get to look normal and men are just ugly apes
>>35413723just get laser then?
>>35413722I've tried to sui and failed and it took me like a whole year to recover like a retard. My brain took over and gave me a will to live when I shouldn't have one, now I'm stuck being alive for now.
>>35413758ive failed twice, the second attempted fucked something up in my brain because now i have all these ticks i didnt have before. i dont regret what i did which i think is hard to explain to people. i wish id succeeded.
>>35413764I lost a friend to sui as well and it forced me to see what that kind of choice does to people around you. It scars people and removes another layer of innocence. If anyone cares about you, you can't kill yourself because you'll leave knowing you killed part of them too. So for now I'm just stuck living despite my quality of life being garbage.
>>35413773that assumes that i believe others care about me. who? i talk to one person on a regular basis, and before sui attempts that number was zero. so if anything that means if this relationship ever stops im clear to try again. they wouldnt know anyway. id just go offline one day (well they probably would because they know i attempted).idk, right now i dont feel like attempting, but i dont see any future for me
gm /repgen/>>35411628>picnot sure if i really belong here anymore because i'm close to graduating to /mmg/ but this is why i'm unironically pinkpilling and brainwashing myself to self-acceptance. i've run through all the scenarios in my head and this is the only way that doesn't involve sui or john 50ing out and dissociating in cycles like this for the rest of my life. therapy has been helpful and repping is losing it's appeal.
>>35413802I'm sorry. I don't have a solution and I won't pretend like I know one. Being able to relate over the void feels comforting. I hope you find some kind of peace. I'm looking for that as well.
>>35400910>fine regardless of whatever you are, it's okay to be you.But I'm not ok w/ myself. Im a balding neet.
>i will never be a cute petite messy hikkiNEETwhy should i even try transitioning
i don't fucking know anymorei don't know if what im feeling is dysphoria or not.it's more like a burning sense of yearning
>>35414006all my childhood i wanted to be short, now i end up 5'11... (still one of the shortest in my family). life is unfair and cruel
>>35414063at least you're under 6'
>>35410764if you're Irish I've probably walked past you and knew you were a dry fuck immediately!!! Zero craic!!!
>>35414063I'm the tallest by far in my family it's pretty sucky.It's just not possible for a man to be a woman not with any amount of surgery and medication.Once you accept that transition is impossible with current medical technology you can begin to healthily repress knowing you aren't missing out on anything.
>>35414071so? taller than every woman, shorter than most men. worst height to be
>>35413866update: it's over repbros. i ordered hrt. i'm turning in my repcard. sorry :(i'm going to stop posting here. god speed to all of you, i hope someone here proves me wrong and repgods to happiness.
>>35414492You'll regret it anon but I hope you don't
Kinda tired of repressing but I have no means to transition so whatever.
>>35415302Do you really think taking estrogen will fix your problems?
>>35415305If it doesn't I can just detransition
>>35415309it isn't that easy.ive tried so many times you have to spend months in pseudo menopausal misery to get back to normal.you'll wish you never tried if you're like me :(
>>35415314>you have to spend months in pseudo menopausal miseryI wouldn't wait for years. if It didn't fix my shit within a couple months I'd give it up.
>>35415319heh fair enough anon :( i ruined my life by waiting so long, glad you wouldn't make the same mistake.
I'll hold out for the next hundred years if I have to. Bring it, troonbrain.
>>35415432can you?
>>35415445I'm 26 and the urges have only just now begun. I am an expert at acting like a regular guy and then crying alone in my room. Being in nature will solve this problem
>>35403486This message is interesting to me (cis bi guy looking here with curiosity).Will a therapist always encourage HRT or others if a patient tells them they feel trans?I feel like it shouldn't be the #1 solution that's proposed
HRT so i can look more androgynous as bio male? at 24? Its not exactly a "try and see if you like it" thing
I dont feel like a woman i feel like a TRANS WOMAN
>>35415432I am a titan of volition
>>35415836>>35415445 oop meant to reply to this
>>35395835im 40, married with a kid, successful career, tons of cashit doesn't pass loltheres enough "other stuff" in life to make me not kill myself but it doesn't pass
I dont want to age like shit like a man, im already too fucked up genetically, i just have to embrace the incoming gyno stay in shape and age gracefully
I can't be the only one that notices this. It seems like something I'm constantly running into when trying to discuss issues like male touch starvation, or inverting/balancing gender roles in relationships. Even on subs that are supposedly in favor of free expression. That is to say, they are, but not when it comes to men, apparently.For example, I've seen people assert that men that say they want to be in what is generally thought of as the more "traditionally female" role (i.e. the comfortee as opposed to the comforter, the pursued rather than the pursuer, etc.), whether that means sometimes or all the time, are like "man children" and/or that they have a "mommy dom" fetish.Ok, well, if its a "mommy dom" fetish, is it necessarily a "daddy dom" fetish when women want to be held/hugged/cuddled? The answer any logical person would come to is no, there's nothing paternal about that. Now obviously those fetishes do exist, and there's nothing wrong with them anyway. I'm not going to kink shame people. I do think its funny how women calling their lover "daddy" is seen as normal but a guy calling his lover "mommy" is basically unheard of. Methinks there's some projection going on here. But that's beside the point.The reason I think people see things in this way could perhaps be due to latent evopsych programming. The structure of human relationships according to evolution could perhaps be characterized by affection flowing in the following order: man > woman > child. In other words, its not really necessary for men to receive comfort and affection because they're supposed to be stoic provider/protectors for women, who in turn are provider/protectors for children. Therefore, a man receiving loving affection is read as infantile because it is "supposed" to be reserved by women for children.
>>35416421Regardless, I think its pretty disgusting that people take what should be seen as an ordinary human need and equate it to "just a fetish". It's easier to dismiss something when its "just a fetish". I've even seen people use this a springboard to say that the woman in the "motherly role" are being objectified as sex objects. Yet another instance of 'male problem, women most affected'.The other possible cause of this I can see is that being in the more "receptive role" in one instance, is seen as feminine due to the subconscious association between femininity and the receptive role in another instance (sex). This could also be why males are expected to be socially dominant as well. Which is, of course, dumb: there's no logical connection between how someone acts in the bedroom vs. other situations. But as you know, most humans are often illogical creatures and make unnecessary connections between things. The point is, this paradigm could be explained as a manifestation of disgust towards men that express this want for being "unmanly", with everything else being a smokescreen to cover up that misandry.(Truth be told, part of the appeal, for me at least, IS EXACTLY the escapism of stepping outside normal male gender roles, but all that shows is just how oppressive they really are.)
>>35416434There is one more defense of this motherly coding that I see. Which is something along the lines of "you're not really about free gender roles, you're just an incel desperate for female affection." My response to that is: "...and so what?". Is being affection starved, or wanting to feel pursued like women are, somehow not valid just because of relationship status or gender? I guess its just more of the typical blaming of someone's relationship status on their own flaws. As if all women are perfect angels, and the only guys who could possibly feel deprived of affection from them are misogynist creeps who created their own well deserved hell. Never mind that plenty of men who are in relationships, or at least not so perpetually single, also feel the same way. Its pretty obvious this defense is nothing more than a shallow attempt at sidestepping reciprocation. "Freedom of gender roles for me but not for thee," as it were.
>>35415511not sure desu, it's just a can of worms I don't really want to open. she did ask me how i see myself gender wise once during one of our first sessions and i just kinda laughed nervously, brushed it aside and switched topicsi just fucking hope she didn't connect the dots
All rational men would rather be girls, as it is objectively better. Girls can be cute, pretty and have way more variety in clothing. Most men have these sort of thoughts but understanding that these are nothing more than just thoughts comes naturally to them unlike me. If there was character customization irl I think most would choose to be female.
>>35416421I think it's because to some people, this just seems incredibly silly. There's plenty of men already in relationships with women where they don't play into the most strictly defined gender roles. Just do it. You speak like these strict gender roles actually control people instead of acting as a model of behavior. You're not forced to do it. You'll just run into people with different expectations. That mismatch in expectations can be quickly communicated. You can assume that someone that plays hard into a strict gender role will expect the same from you. So use your eyes to find a partner that visibly doesn't fit harsh gender roles. Their expectations may more likely match yours. Men love a sweet woman. Even in strict stereotypical gender roles it's common for the man to find love and comfort in a woman. Giving loving affection is expected of the woman. I don't think you gave a clear definition for your gender roles.
>>35417301100% this. The only males who actually like being male are either gay and attracted to masculinity, or they’re autoandrophilic (gay for themselves).
>>35417301>>35417859do you mfs seriously believe this. actually go outside and talk to men they almost all love being male lmao
>>35417958i love being male i just hate that i have all the gross parts of being male and none of the good ones, hence why it'd be better if i wasnt male
>>35417958>talk to men they almost all love being malethey just dont think about it
i don't feel like i am mentally sound enough to be on hrt...
#1Sorry if this is hard to read, I wrote it at 3 AM to get things off my chest so it may be incomprehensibleI’m a reverse-autogynephile. If I were asexual I’d feel with complete certainty that I’m trans. I would contact my country’s healthcare system and insist I get help immediately and I’d come out to everyone I know. I have hated my appearence, voice, figure and the way I’m seen by others my entire life. I feel horrified of growing up to look like my father. Not because I dislike him or anything, but because the whole process feels like a nightmare that will have me transformed into some gross pathetic beast in the end.But I will never tell anyone about this and I will never seek help. Because I have a fetish for being a straight male. Unlike AGPs, I don’t have the luxury of always seeing myself as a woman in my sexual fantasies, instead I’m forced to take on the role of a man even though I hate it. Even when I’m having AGP fantasies, I still hate myself just for having sexual feelings. Sexuality has exclusively been a negative force in my life. If it wasn’t taboo, I wouldn’t at all hesitate to get neutered. I can’t comprehend how any person with a semblence of self awareness could willingly chose to engage in sexual activity. It’s humiliating, barbaric and it makes you feel intense guilt and disgust with yourself afterwards. I’ve been addicted to pr0n since age 13, and ever since I started watching it I’ve tried to quit. I used to use razer blades to cut my legs before going to sleep because I felt like I had to punish myself to be allowed to sleep. One time I slept on the floor as a more severe form of punishment. Shortly after I started doing this I became afraid that someone would find out and that they’d think I’m only doing it for attention, so I made sure no one suspected a thing by lying about starting to feel better.
#2My sister has PTSD and tried killing herself a few years ago. She also used to get psychotic meltdowns where she screamed “I NEED TO DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!” as loudly as she could over and over and over again for around 30 minutes. She made the “ie” in “die” go on for as long as she physically could. Also, one time she tried bending open the safe where my family kept our medication with a kitchen knife because she was being forced to quit some medication, and I had to frantically run around the house looking for our parents before she accidentally hurt herself. Despite how stressful this whole period of my life was, I remember being surprisingly calm as it was playing out. I probably shut down my emotions as a coping mechanism of sorts, I often do that when things go wrong. I’m not going to go into details here, but the way my sister worked to improve her life was by learning not to blame herself for past events. She was objectively not in the wrong and the adults around her all forced her to learn to stop blaming herself. But for me that never happened, because I was in the wrong. I was a disgusting sex crazed man in the body of a teenager who somehow thought he had the right to be a woman. I had no one to blame but myself and that made it impossible to ask for help. And to calm myself down from this situation I listened to ASMR. Even the stuff calming me down made me feel that same nagging feeling of guilt and disgust. But I still kept doing it because the alternative was to be alone with my thoughts for hours before managing to fall asleep. One time while listening I discovered the YouTube channel “Macalda Reye” at the age of 14 which somehow turned my sexuality into even more of a horrifying monster than I thought was possible.
#3Whenever I’m distracted enough to not have any sexual feelings for over a week, I feel happier and calmer than ever. It is during these times that my “non-sexual AGP” takes hold and I start seeing myself as a woman. I start feeling a vague sense of hope that maybe, perhaps this feeling of peace and contentment can continue on. Maybe I can mentally become Anna, the person I always should have been and this whole nightmare can become a thing of the past. My anxiety decreases, my OCD starts fading and I start to think like feeling genuinely loved is a real possibility. But after two weeks, I’m guaranteed to get snapped back to reality as I’m forced to have a wet dream where I’m a man again. As I wake up my underwear has become utterly disgusting and filthy and I realize I’ll have to take a long shower to rid myself of this feeling. As I get out of bed my head hurts and I’m reminded of the eternal fact that I will never be a woman.I have always hated my appearance. I avoided looking into mirrors as I entered puberty because it made me stressful, although I couldn’t tell why. When I turned 15 I decided to give it my all to improve my appearance. This lead to an OCD-driven trip into madness where I found more and more things wrong with my appearance that I had to fix before I allowed myself to just live in the moment. I spent all the money I had on clothes and other products and nothing helped at all. I also tried various different haircuts, each one worse than the last. Eventually I accepted the obvious. I would only feel okay with my appearance if I looked like a woman, or at least looked like a very androgynous male. This is impossible, so it was all for nothing.
take your pills retards
#4I have severe OCD that I’ve never gotten any help to manage. I think it’s safe to say my OCD has affected my life just as much as schizophrenia would if I had it. My entire worldview and everything I do during my spare time is all because of my unreasonable paralyzing fear of what can go wrong. My face bleeds on the daily because I’m too forceful when shaving and my hands and constantly red and extremely dry because I use about 1/6 of a pack of soap every time I leave the bathroom. I once spent 3 months doing nothing but reading a bunch of boring books like The Hunger Games and The Disaster Artist, because I wanted to have more normal books in my bookshelf so that my friends wouldn’t see me as an “AGP rapehon” for owning all volumes of Inside Mari and Bloom into You. I spent all of the spare time I had during 1/4 of a year doing nothing but giving in to my /tttt/-induced paranoia. I’m a fucking idiot aren’t I?I don’t think I feel like dying right now, but it feels pretty obvious that I’m going to kill myself one day. And the worst part is that the situation isn’t even tragic, it’s just pathetic. No one but myself is responsible for how my life turned out, and it’s not like there was something beautiful inside me that was never allowed to come out because of a transphobic society or anything. No, the truth is that my sexuality made it impossible for me to see myself as a woman even though I desperately want to. I know for a fact that my experiences aren’t shared at all by trans women, neither HSTSs or AGPs. The only “trans woman” with similar experiences is Chris Chan. That’s basically who I am at this point, I’m an autistic anorexic gross pervert with OCD. Even therapists wouldn’t be able to fake empathy like they always do while listening to me talk. Every word that comes out of my mouth just disgusts people and ruins their day, just keeping quiet is the least I can do.
#5I’ve tried “being less misandristic“ in an attempt to accept my sexuality, but it just doesn’t work. The only thing that works is abstention, but that can only go so far unless I sterilize myself. And the fact that I’m even thinking about that just proves how mentally deranged I’ve gotten. I want to remove my ability to reproduce in order to stop my feelings of guilt and to delude myself into believing I’m a trans woman. The mental illness radiating from that thought process is impressive. I used to be a happy child playing and drawing but now I have literally gone insane. All I do is think about what could have been. How blissful and full of love and friendship my life would have been if I wasn’t born in this evil body. And despite understanding this right now, I’ll go back to shutting down my emotions and refusing to ask for help like I always do. And this thread will die and be forgotten just like everything else I’ve ever done in my life. I will die without ever feeling understood and accepted by another person, and without ever loving and being loved. No one will ever look at me and think I’m cute. And it’s all my own fault. I accomplished nothing in life. It was all just preperation for a hypothetical better future that never ended up happening.The woman in me died in 2016. She was alive and happy during my childhood, but now she has been stabbed, beaten and tortured to death and I did it all with my own two hands.IWNBAW
>>35414099>shorter than most menlol whatyou realize 90% of men that claim to be 6 feet are lying, right?
>>35419186why if iwnbaw
>>35395349found this youtube channel recently and this person gives off major repper vibes. what do you guys think? https://www.youtube.com/@Whiteseastudio
>>35419480i can definitely see it
>>35414099in the Netherlands maybe lol
i feel guilty for posting in this thread as a man who is just mentally ill and not repressing being a tranny, just got sucked into it because im insane.
i've been staring at the page to order injections all dayiwnbaw
>>35420464isn't that most of the people here? for me repper is just an easy way to call myself, not exactly an accurate descriptor
song of my lifehttps://youtu.be/mZGNTx6SrrE
>>35422099Ooh, I love noisy music
>>35419137>>35419154>>35419174>>35419252>>35419270Tldr but ywnbaw alright
I'm not genuinely trans, I just pretend I am to everyone so I can go by a female name in order to not have to tolerate my own.I take hrt because that has a 0.01% chance of turning me into a woman. It's better to have that sliver of hope.And that's all I do. I hardly dress in women's clothes, I don't like crossdressing because it just makes my maleness stand out that much more. I just wish I had been born as a woman but I wasn't. I was born as a man into a male body and it's fucking torture.
iwnbaw iwnbam iwnbah
i feel bad laughing about this because im 6'4 and can relate to getting terrible height rngbut at the same time, lmao
>>35395349
>Open the thread about the passing trans girl talking about how jarring it is to actually pass. >Realize I will never experience that in my life. Why haven't I killed myself yet (mom would be sad)
>>35421836idk lots of people talk about crying about not being a woman and such when all of my hangups are really all to do with what a failure i see myself as and my gender failure and confusion is just part of that.
>>35424511same
>>35424572If i'm understanding you, I think I feel you. Are you saying that other things you're shameful about compound onto your feelings of shame over dysphoria?
>>35424702I think its backwards, the shame over my "dysphoria" compounds onto everything else and i fuck up my whole life because of how afraid i am of being judged and unwanted. ive always been insecure but its just gotten worse over time. its not as simple as wanting to be a woman for me, it feels more like i just want to get away from what i am which is nothing and become someone that values and likes themselves and their body
Anyone here ever watch the italian movie "the best of youth?" Matteo was a repper 100%
i understand that dysphoria and being trans never goes away, but can you accept your life and fate somehow and be happy?
>>35424230I can sympathize with this
>>35367637this is what i am also trying to do, like i am not suicidal enough to end it bc my mind still wants me to live even though ik fully that it is over, there is no escape and i can't literally do anything about it..
>>35368699i feel like this often also, we are just trans..
i would troon out if i had 100% certainty that hrt would:>NOT make me androphilic>regrow hairI'm not taking the gamble on either of those things.
I'm a failed youngshit. Told my parents I wanted to be a girl and transition at 12, right at the onset of puberty, but was physically beaten into repression. I've unwound that repression but now its too late (I'm 22 and masculine) and IWNBAW
>>35427328Why don't you want to be androphilic?Once you are androphilic, you don't care about being androphilic, men are pretty ok.
Ok list me your reasons what's the point in being a womanlike in looks.
>>35427476it's hot.you can have sex as a womanmen can fuck you as a womanyou can suck cock as a womantitsbig asst.agp
>>35427495butyou can have sex as a manmen can fuck you as a manyou can suck cock as a mantight bodyand ass
>>35427462i have dignityi don't want to be a fuck toy for another manyou have cum dribbling out of your anus and you want me to take you seriously? the dynamic of a straight relationship from either perspective doesn't appeal to me.
>>35427505>you can have sex as a mannot hot>men can fuck you as a mannot hot>you can suck cock as a mannot hot>tight body and assnot hot unless i have the body and ass of a woman
>>35427505i will be honest, i did that, it feels a bit good but i feel like being a woman while doing it will feel a lot better but i was also homophobic and didn't know i was trans then so maybe it contributed to it not feeling as good.. i have more attraction to men since i found out i was trans, maybe self acceptance?>>35427533you are just being homophobic, being a bottom is just a position and having cum in your ass doesn't make you any lower, i felt the same and i still do, since you described it in such detail it means that you are into it and it turns you on babe..
>>35427533>i have dignity>i don't want to be a fuck toy for another man>you have cum dribbling out of your anus and you want me to take you seriously?lol within 5 years you're going to be wrapped around your top bf crying tears of relief into his chest after he fucks you for the first time
>middle aged lady calls me ma'am from behind>understand she's calling for me after she raises her voice and calls again>look at her and her friend with my man face and stubble>she asks for some direction>answer with my low male voice>she doesn't even correct herself, just says thanks and leavesThe universe is mocking me
I'm 19 now and not sure if it's worth it to troon. I'm indecisive and overthink every decision in my life so my feelings change daily. sometimes I think it'd just be easier to live as a mostly normal man (i dont think it would be impossible) but then i think what if I still had these thoughts years later and I'd regret wasting all this time. ughhh i don't know maybe it's just a phase
>>35427620>since you described it in such detail it means that you are into it having a good vocabulary makes you gay now?>being a bottom is just a positionwrong, you are a bitch, property even everyone intrinsically knows this >>35427744>within 5 years you're going to be *gay shit*Nope!I'm just gonna continue repressing.I'm just not going to take the pills that make you gay!The only pure relationships are:>lesbian>t4t transbian>side x side gay menThe rest are all social gambit power dynamics based on fetishistic defilement. I will die a virgin before engaging in any of them.
>>35427981well it is a lot better to be into men, it is easier to get sex and company, i can just go on grindr and look for hugs or a stroll or friendship and i will find smth..
>>35428349Going by that logic it's better to be into dogs as it's easier to find dogs to have sex with than it is with humans
>>35429222Honestly, that's not a bad idea.
>>35429222>>35429282woof woof
>>35429299That dog is too pretty for me, it's just going to laugh at me if I ask it for sex.
>>35429222white women moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mb0Xa2ffLLAits over
i don't know for how much longer i'm going to be able to repress my dysphoria... i need conversion therapy. or a lobotomy. or both.
>>35427328Regrowing hair is a meme, it's lost unless you get a HT. Don't fall for the scams unless you are thinning near temples and it gets thicker its not gonna happen.>t. had a HT to correct NW1.5>>35427061I don't think so, look at how many older men give up even with wife's, kids, houses etc. It's an innate desire.>>35427967I'm almost 30 and have these thoughts daily, you should consider it if you are already small and dainty.>>35432130Give me a lobotomyA lobotomyA lobotomy
>>35427061people manage to go through worse. ofc you can repress.
>>35432788sure, but i will be always miserable and depressed while doing so..
>>35424185If it makes you feel any better, I’ve seen many cis women in the Netherlands that height that no one gave a passing thought to. If you’re lanky and your height is mostly in the legs, being that tall isn’t actually all that rough. It’s only if you’re tall and built like a brick that it’s jover.
>>35427061>>35432965Tbh I’m not sure if that’s actually possible. Acceptance is acceptance of whatever the outcome is and that may mean trooning out to relieve dysphoria. It doesn’t seem plausible in my mind that you could reach peaceful acceptance with yourself while fighting an internal war. Maybe acceptance that you’re fighting? Idk if that would really help much though.When I used to occasionally browse r/askAGP before I realized that it was A. just a place for boomerhon John 50s to cope, and B. I didn’t actually have AGP, there was a guy that posted there saying that he had fully accepted that he was “AGP” and had reached some internal state of peace with his mind. I checked up on him a year later and he was still posting walls of text everyday to that place which tells you how much his “acceptance” continues to occupy his thoughts. Which seems like it didn’t do much of anything to help.
>>35395349Take the latter, the former will inevitably lead to it anyway
>watched a clip where a guy's voice changed in his 30saaaa second puberty is going to ruin me soon isn't it
>>35432710is 5'10 small and dainty
>>35415874make sure to dump all your savings into a 401k so you cant access it to transition with without a serious penaltypro level rep strats
>>35413951Is microdosing E going to slow balding? Id rather feminize than bald manlet.
>>35435085Not as bad as the 6ft hons but it really depends on your frame at that point, you are still way above average cis desu>>35435527omfg just get on finasteride already, why is this asked daily all it does it prevent further regression on the hairline its not some magic trans drug
>>35434024happened to my uncle, had some footage of him in his twenties and his voice was really high pitched but now he sounds like a heavy smoker... not sure when it happens but around 30? All my life I hated my fag voice and soon I might miss it...
>>35435576>omfg just get on finasteride alreadyAlready am on Fin for past 6 yrs. Not enough, really horrid aggressive MPB.
>>35435621what how? fin prevents dht which should stop it from going any further back, are you sure you don't have any other hair related stuff like alopecia? you won't get any regrowth on anything, you need HT
>>35427074It just feels like a countdown, that it's an inevitability and the only difference is how long I take and how much of a hon I've let myself become. Like maybe the pinkpillers are right about that but I can still take drastic measures to avoid that fate, if it comes to that.I would really like to believe that I have the strength to ride this thing out until I die naturally, but if I'm wrong about that then I may as well just quit the game now. Dysphoria can't beat death, you know?
>>35404041Dw you just exhibit the disney princess effectAnimals are just super trusting around some people, cis or trans
>>35403049Animals trust me too anon, I think it's just because I speak softly and generally don't move in fast and unpredictable ways. And of course I always make sure I'm not doing anything to annoy them :)
>>35435660>at how? fin prevents dht which should stop it from going any further backhorrid genes>alopeciaAndrogenetic Alopecia/male pattern baldness.
>>35435922sorry anon i have no idea if estrogen would help in that case.. :(
I hate therapists. Why do they constantly aggressively hugbox me instead of just honestly talking to me like a fellow human being? I thought I was able trust my therapist at first, but she regularly interrupts me to say I’m being unreasonable and also brings up examples of other patients that accepted parts of themselves and lived happier lives because of it. She also wrote down in my patient notes that I have questions regarding my “gender and sexual orientation” even though I specifically said I’m only attracted to women and that’s what makes it worse. She also either didn’t understand or pretended not to understand why people transitioning due to fetishes is wrong. Apparently that’s completely valid in her mind. But the worst part is that she seems to have no idea how hateful society is to amabs who don’t conform to rigid gender roles. She honestly believes I could just start crossdressing one day and then everyone would suddenly see me as a woman. I had to wait for a literal year to get someone to talk to and when I finally get an appointment my therapist is completely clueless about everything. Swedish mental health services are a joke. And I can’t even tell my friends or family because they’d hugbox me even more. Why is 4Chan of all places the only place with a reasonable view on trans issues that isn’t just driven by emotions?
>>35436139>4Chan of all places the only place with a reasonable view on trans issues that isn’t just driven by emotions?idk it seems like most posts on this website, including yours, are rooted in levels of insecurity and self-hatredmaybe you are being unreasonable and should accept yourself and live a happier life like those other patients why do you think you transitioned due to a fetish? and why would that be wrong?>She honestly believes I could just start crossdressing one day and then everyone would suddenly see me as a woman. i doubt she actually believes this. consider asking her. regardless, it's okay to be visibly trans and not pass. many trans people are
>>35395349just start HRT. don't kill yourself. manmode is fine. i say this as a manmoder. i'd rather be a more youthful, more androgynous man with better skin than continue to bald and stink like t-sweat
>>35403049
please make not feel any gender dysphoria anymore..>>35436261that is not going to solve anything, same shit, it is just a temporary cope..
>>35436261i only have more problems now and actually hate myself more since
>>35436533>that is not going to solve anything, same shit, it is just a temporary cope..nta, i like how i look now as a manmoder. i hope i can ffs still, but i swear i look 100x better
These threads are getting more specific.
>>35402121>>35410764post more venus>>35403049is this what /tttt/ calls the dogpill?>>35415468kaczynskimoding doesn't go well
>>35436054>sorry anon i have no idea if estrogen would help in that case.. :(I will try e anyways b/c have nothing to lose. Everytime I shave my head I feel deep disgust/dysphoria & become hat prisoner. Is this common w/ agp and balding?
>>35403049had the same thingdogs can sense your soul
Will taking acid help me repress?
>>35419480>long girly hair>clothes that hide body shape>girl necklace>extremely autistic niche interestYeah I see it
I truly hate that I wish for something so impossibleIf my deepest desire was for other shit like becoming an actor, or being a millionaire, or 100k youtube subscribers, or moving to Switzerland, or whatever the fuck normal people wish for, I could work towards itI might not achieve it, but at least it's possible and I could feel like I'm getting closer to itWanting to have been a normal 100% natural cis woman is so fucking retarded and impossibleThere's 0 way to achieve it so instead I'm stuck with this pointless stupid fucking retarded desire>A man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills
>>35419270i read it all
>>35436139I might bring stuff up to my therapist next session and this is my worst fear>>35436386made me laugh, fuck you
>>35395349doubting about if its a phase, anyways probably i kill myself
>>35436261why do people say this, hrt gave me sore cone tits and puffy nipples in like 3 months, it constantly hurts and is sore and looks terrible. stop telling people that hrt just makes you a 'more androgynous man with better skin'. it makes you functionally a eunuch and you have to actively try to hide it while being constantly physically aware of it. "manmode" is a total joke.
>>35439962both of what you said are truewhich still makes it better than being an actual man
>>35439976maybe but its like comparing total shit to fucking shit
>>35439987thats how this life is i guess. i agree that calling manmode "fine" is downplaying how broken of a person you'll still be lol
>>35433720I did, a few days making the thread
Does HRT change your political opinion? If it does it's one more reason to repress.
>>35440206it makes you leftistwhy do you think the demokkkrats are pushing trannies so much?
>>35440252Yeah I thought so.Stay strong reppers
>>35436778okay jsut one
>>35435611god i will need to take my pills>>35440252i'm already sorta center left but mostly apoliticali don't wanna go full retard leftist tho
>>35436880
>>35432710>>>t. had a HT to correct NW1.5How much time between your hair loss and going on E?I've heard it depends on that, because your follicules don't instantly die, they just become inactive at first.
I wonder when it will come out that HRT causes brain damage even in adults.
how can i dissociate completely to not feel gender dyshporia? sometimes i feel really good as a man, i assume i dissociate completely then and that is why, how to achieve that constantly?
I can be happy as a male.My "gender dysphoria" is fake.It's ok to be male.TOTAL PINKPILLER DEATH
I WANT TO BE A WOMAN!PLEASE, TAKE ME WITH YOU TO SOMEWHERE I CAN TRANSITION SAFELY. I CANT TAKE THIS PAIN ANYMORE, IT'S CRIPPLING ME!
>>3539583532 here and I have really bad news. It gets worse, way worse.
we are all already dead anyway, i doubt repping is possible and it is going to work, unless you are ok with living a completely miserable shitty life..
i think i would troon out if it weren't for my BALDING HEADbut alas it literally isn't an option for me.
>>35444574why are so many of you bald? makes me feel bad with a full head of hair but a disgusting ugly face
>>35444766At least you're not both...
>>35445253I was close to both at one point, I hopped on fin a few years back and saved my hairline then got a transplant as well but I went with a masculine hairline.. kinda wasted my money knowing what I would become :(
Being trans is so humiliating. If I had something like schizophrenia instead it would be at least pitiable.
>>35445486I hate this but I wouldn't trade it for funny voices in my head. That shit sounds terrifying.
>>35444239>>35444147
>>35395349>molested at 5 by a relative, he kept talking about touching me and i kept saying no, i reported it and my parents basically accused me of lying>when he asked again i just went along with, it never happened again>learn a bad lesson to just go along with it once and it will stop>do it when some guy keeps trying to talk dirty online, go along with it once>he blackmails me with itsince then i've just been a fuck up sexually. almost every girl that liked me in school is either a lesbian now or transitioned. i spent so many years repressing any thought about liking men or wanting to transition because it was so easy to blame it on trauma, now im 25 and i've wasted my life doing nothing. i dont enjoy sex with women, it's just a numbers game and 90% of the time i dont even follow through with sex, just knowing they want it is enough because i dont care about the act, i just want the recognition. I spent so many years talking to gross chasers and creeps in my spare time just for attention. years and years of self abuse and embarrassment and im none the better for it. im beginning to realise nothing i ever do will be fulfilling and it's a cycle of self hatred and self love but always self obsession i fantasise how if i wasnt abused maybe i would have came out much younger, maybe id just be straight, but at least id probably know
>>35445564No less terrifying than being a tranny
>>35445486Nobody pities moid schizos, just like nobody really pities moid autists. In women it's cute or quirky or whatever and they have constant support: For moids it's basically over for you, nobody will want to have anything to do with you because they're terrified of you even if you're completely safe and only hurt yourself. it's probably even worse if your a honmoder so thank god I didn't fall for the "just bee urself and honmode" psyop
>>35444766>twink, transitioning would put me between twinkhon and passoid >only repping because I don't have enough freedom to transitionI don't have any rights to complain
>>35395349How do you deal with the brain fog from estrogen dominance? I feel dumb as shit. Is this permanent or will progesterone help?
>>35447142why are you asking in repgen? these losers don't know shit, also that's not normal and that means either your dosing/levels are off or you need to drop or switch up your AA
reppers, ive been 7mo hrt. Give me reasons to stop and detroon now.
It’s so ridiculous how most people see tranners as evil crossdressing 6’5 monsters that instinctively rape women before even realizing they’ve done it. The truth is that most of us are suicidal teenagers that are extremely depressed because of these preconcieved notions about trans people. In truth, the ones spreading these negative stereotypes don’t even truly believe them. They’re just using them as a tool to get us to kill ourselves, and the ones who actually fall for the lies are just useful idiots. They’re essentially gender role eugenicists.
>>35447659>most of us are suicidal teenagersteens genuinely do not belong in repgen, this is spiritually a 25+ general.
>>35447421If you want to, do it?
>>35446895Still better than being a troon.
>>35447813Where do the 18-24yo reppers go then?
>>35446895Completely true. Honestly, why shouldn’t I just go on HRT and present myself as a woman even if I’m not actually trans? If society just hates moids and refuses to show them and kindness or support, why in the world would it be unreasonable to just make people see me as a woman? Maybe it’s wrong to trick people like that, but it’s also wrong for society to just hate moids for wanting to be emotionally open. I’m 5’4 and I’m still a teenager. I know with certainty that I could pass, the problem is that I’m not actually trans.
Not trans just chronically uncomfortable with my own identity due to two decades of internalized humiliation and failure. Simple as
I mean if you're planning on killing yourself getting on HRT wouldn't hurt
>>35448237they won't, everyone itt is too pussy to reach out and take something they want. they'll masculinize for another couple years then start hrt when it really is over.
> “The war on drugs is a complete failure and doesn’t prevent drug use at all. It just creates holes in the market that gets filled by violent criminal gangs. We need to fix the root problems making people resort to drugs and crime instead.”> “Those evil trannies are grooming children into purchasing trans hormones online. We need to ban everyone under 25 from taking hormones to protect children from these inhumane evil monsters. What? Root problems? What are you talking about?”
>>35448258Im >>35447421 and i did it bc Im weak and caved in at 26. Should i detroon
>>35448399Keep at it for a few years. See how you feel after that
>>35448351>we shouldn't have laws because people will just break them lol!!Riveting analysis groomer
>>35448492I literally didn’t say that. I said the only reason people even buy hormones online is because of transphobic laws and transphobic families. If people could just go see psychiatrists, carefully deduce whether they have gender dysphoria and then get prescribed hormones then this wouldn’t even be a problem in the first place. A lot less people would be transitioning by mistake if they were actually able to discuss their feelings openly and without judgement, and if there was actually a legal way for them to get hormone replacement therapy. Transphobia is the real cause behind the vast majority of detransitioners.
>>35448575>If people could just go see psychiatrists, carefully deduce whether they have gender dysphoria and then get prescribed hormones then this wouldn’t even be a problem in the first place.Adults can do that. It's just kids can't do that, which is appropriate.
>>35448858Wont someone think of the 24 year old children!?! If you seriously think these people are motivated by anything other than bigotry, then I’m sorry but you’re just a useful idiot.
>>35448912>Wont someone think of the 24 year old children!?!Really everyone should be repressing if you think about it
>>35395857I have long made a study of where the repper line ends and the manmoder line begins.And the answer is, fuck if I know.Perhaps if you feel called out, you're not a repper any more; perhaps a repper is anyone who can still plausibly deny.
>>35447920Whats great about being a man that i might miss out on?
>>35437281Can nofap & not yielding to CD urges, stop AGP?
>>35450323No, it will only make your AGP worse.AGP is a persistent sexual orientation and it is ingrained into your brain, it will never go away.Doing nofap to get rid of AGP is like trying to fast to get rid of hunger, you will always feel hunger as long as you are alive.
>>35452040Starve the beast Slay the beastLive free of the beast
>>35448237hrt won't make you feel any better if you can't pass in the end, it will just complicate your life even more, basically from a regular normal dude, you will become a pathetic eunuch with breasts and have basically zero dating life now and have to hide your breasts constantly..
was trying so hard to win a bet/competition in my dream because if I won my junk would finally be goneDonated to various people I think like a ball to someone in need there, my dick to a burn victim or whoever there I dont HATE my dick and balls but it’s like they don’t belongLike im a frankensteins monster and they’re a freakishly huge extra nose that got stuck on by my knee or something Just doesn’t belongIm half asleep and sad because it’s retarded but I wish I just had nothing I wonder if im insane If I had a shrink and told them about this stuff would they force me onto meds or lock me up for a while yknow
>>35452146You are the beast, you need to kill yourself to get rid of the AGP
I am seriously considering converting to Christianity I hate my bodyI hate this worldWhat am I to lose for giving the world up with my eyes on Heaven?If I can walk with the Lord for the rest of my days, what is there to doubt? What is there to upset me?
Transitioning is retarded99.9% of trans women just look like cross-dressing men. Even the 0.1% that pass aren’t anywhere close to the beauty of top tier cis women. I’ll never transition. There’s no point in taking hormones or getting surgery just to look like a delusional crossdresser.
>>35395835I was sorta like you. I think I still have agp but very mild. I almost never think about it anymore. Cutting pornography helps a lot with that. I'm 24 now, and i can honestly say from 18 to now is a huge difference in gender dysphoria, which I do believe at least in my case was partly intertwined with OCD which I still have about other parts of my body, but no longer gender related. I can still turn myself on by thinking about being a girl and sometimes assume this when thinking sexual thoughts unintentionally, but my dysphoria is near non existent. I live my life and I don't think about my maledom or gender. So I'll say for me, it was a phase, something I went through around your age and came out the other side of. I still come to this board once every 2 months and i still like breakcore, align with some troon culture. I understand it. I am a bit odd compared to the average male. But i feel fine in my body. That's my experience. It was more or less a phase, something i integrated and mercifully the dysphoria did lessen over time. Going out and doing things irl is an absolute must.
>>35452662It's a desperate solution for a desperate problem after the onset of pubertyPeople love talking about transitioning only being a treatment for dysphoria, you know, we'd never actually say it cures dysphoria because that would be absurd! It simply makes dysphoria more bearable!But then the way people act betrays the fact that they do in fact see transitioning as a cure for dysphoria, that not only should you expect to have most of your dysphoria cured but that if you transition and it doesn't, you're a fucked up self hating mental case who needs therapy
>>35452637Fair point. Now I know what must be done.
>>35452941Suicide is a sinGod loves you but you need to turn towards God and accept His free Gift of salvation, not spit in His Face The Lord is merciful
does the emptiness ever go away?
>>35453271yeah, start hrt
>>35453271Oh yeah it did for me and I really had lost hope
>>35452965Whats that mean niKKKa do i detroon
>>35452672Good for you anon, glad to hear it
>>35453271i know this is a repper safe space but trooning fixed this for me>>35452651im 98% sure my uncle is a repper and i inherited tranny brain from him. he took the jesus pill in his mid 20s and to this day prays the pain away to prevent himself from john50ing. always felt that was kind of a pathetic existence but idk.
>>35415874Just indulge your fetish jfc. Some dudes like to get peed on, you want to be a woman. You have a paraphilia, it's fine, it's not some deep dark secret. If you're nice enough about it your wife might even help you out.
>>35454443>Just indulge your fetishWorst advice you could give.
>>35395349I'm on HRT, you might as well manmode. It doesn't really get better but it stops getting worse.
>>35455203how am I supposed to hide my boobs then
Too many FUCKERS on hrt in this gen!
>>35455783Do you think you could microdose HRT to get the mental effects without the physical ones?
>>35455783i'm jealous of all of them
>>35455783I take finasteride, idk if that counts.
>>35455979mental effects of hrt are placebo and not real..
>>35456083as if that was a bad thing. if taking hormones makes you feel more at ease because you're no longer turning into a disgusting monster then that's better than nothing.
>>35456109>Turning into a disgusting monsterSo many trannies have the idea that they're not already 6'3 and very obviously male.
>>35456124I meant it as far as the placebo effect goes. You may still look like a 6'3'' caveman, but at least it's not getting any worse.
>>35456148We need some alternative treatments for dysphoria this HRT shit clearly is not the solution.
>>35456168Maybe in the near future body modification will improve a lot and you will be able to become the cute girl you've wanted to be your entire life.
>>35456232I was thinking more genetic therapy to target whatever is wrong with the brain.
>>35456268>wants to do complicated brain modifications that would effectively kill her instead of just getting the body she wantsthe repper brainworms are just a whole other thing entirely.
>>35456298> that would effectively kill herThe fuck are you talking about? You're just repeating the le woman trapped in a man's body meme. It was always folk-psychology and not at all what's really going on.
>>35456316>all of the evidence points out that transness is a brain thing and that you're born with it>NO, IT'S PSYCHOLOGICAL. STOP LISTENING TO THOSE (((NEUROSCIENTIST)))The repper brainworms man, I'm telling you.
>>35456371It is a brain thing. That's why I want to be cured with medicines or genetic therapy. Round and round this argument goes.
>>35456024nah you're good
>>35456391You can't cure a brain thing with genetic therapy and medicine. The brain structures that make you feel female are already there. What you need it's something that rearranges the structures that make you "feel" female to turn them into their male counterpart, and for that you would need some sort of nanomachie neuron rearranger thing that would do that to your brain from the inside, and a complete knowledge of how the human brain and specifically your brain works.But again, why would you go that route when you can like just get the body you want and go on with your life, assuming that technology exists alongside the trans remover one.
>>35456484Defeatist mentality.
