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>>36327454
i learned that not everyone has dysphoria and wants to be a different gender

same as how i learned im allergic to grapes, i learned that not everyone struggles to breathe when eating grapes

>>36327454
How come all the semi-passable troons all wear Christian iconography?

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I was 16 when I really started to feel like the homosexual feelings I had been feeling, were actually quite heterosexual because I was a woman. Unfortunately, I was also an active presence on Tumblr, and oversaturation of Trans-celebration and egg baiting meant that I wanted to wait until I was 18 to be sure, and I came out to the only person I thought i'd get any resistance on it for, My Father, who promptly told me
>No, you're not trans.
I repped hard for 7 years, I basically became a schizophrenic chud, and when I eventually broke about 10 months ago, it was after thinking long and hard about how much of a nothing life i was leading. I always wanted to be beautiful, I always wanted to be elegant In a way i couldn't be, I always wanted to be a woman.


I wish things got better.

>>36327490
So are you on whoremoans now?

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>>36327498
Yes. for better or for worse. I wish I was more visually a woman, but it's a long process.

>>36327490
>I always wanted to be beautiful, I always wanted to be elegant In a way i couldn't be

holy crap that might be me. im not even sure if im trans tho because im not romantically attracted to men but i do crush on women and even have a oneitis

>>36327504
So what's it like? Did you tell anyone?

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>>36327507
If you aren't sure, see like, a psychiatrist or other professional and please, please think it through. don't rep for as long as I did.
>>36327510
>So what's it like?
It's complicated. I first started noticing a lot of emotional changes, namely, Testosterone gives a lot of bravado as a natural steroid that I no longer get. I've noticed my fat shifting around, my skin becoming softer and even my face has changed slightly, at least, enough that all my cousins could tell when my mother posted a photo of me boymoding to facebook the other day. Some days, when I notice myself looking more like, my real self, I feel elated. Otherwise my reflection disgusts me, I feel like i should be ripping my skin off and such.
>Did i tell anyone
I kept it secret for months. Months.
The first person I came out to, within my family, was my older sibling. They had recently come out as nonbinary (theyfab) and I thought they'd be accepting as a long-time tumblr artist and queer rights person, however, while initially accepting, they the next day sent me a full page worth of dialogue detailing how i would always be the vile teenage boy that was a repressing chud. My mother was next to know. I told her after she had told me she found me disappointing (in her complicated passive way, she wanted to say it but not offend me), her only response was
>how are you going to afford that?
She later insist I told my father. I waited a few more months before letting him know.

He said he thought his son had died. It went like this, over text.
>Dad, I'm trans, i've made this decision for myself, and i've been on hormones for months. (He said before i had come out, that lately i had seemed less nihilistic and happier)
>What???
and then when i ghosted him
>Okay, I have hangups about the gender thing.

There's a lot more, but my family have basically all come around on it, they don't deadname me anymore, the only people who dont know are my grandparents. Who are in their nineties so, i wont tell.

>>36327454
Wanted to be pretty and wear pretty clothes
Wanted to be a loving caring mom
Wanted long hair and a cute face.
Hated every masculine part of myself when I hit puberty.
Repped hard for 4 years untill I got deeply depressed, tried to kms.
Ended up talking to some female classmates and hanging out with them and basically figured myself out from there. Almost 3 yrs hrt now

>>36327533
do you dress the same? do you wear makeup? are you dating or attempting to date? are you in school or working and what are you going to do about that.

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>>36327538
>Do I dress the same
Yes, I boymode. Believe it or not, this is mostly because I do not have enough money to really afford girlclothes willy nilly, and I don't really leave the house much regardless.
>Do i wear makeup
Not really, I don't really get to practice or anything, again it's a cost thing but i've put on lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, nails.. enough times that i kinda know the gist
>Dating or attempting to date
Because I was finally being authentic to myself, I managed to lose my virginity within a few months of being trans, with a hookup (who is now just a friend, perhaps my only IRL) and then later I had a short fling with a transman who lives internationally.

I want to date. I just never meet people, i'm bisexual very fully and truly i just want to be treated like the woman in the relationship. Obviously.
>Am I in school or working
I tried going to artschool this year, but i was boymoding and, unfortunately, didn't gel well with the course regardless so i dropped it. I'm basically a NEET fulltime, I want to be more of an artist really, and I can make money off of comms and such. I really just would want an excuse to go out more, but it's hard being an unemployable tranny. I'm kinda waiting until i pass a bit better to try for school or anything, maybe next year, who knows..

>>36327454
i jerked off to boymoder greentexts at 13 and then trooned out

>>36327559
I'm jealous of a shut-in NEET, what a timeline

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>>36327590
Please. Cut me some slack. There's a lot wrong with my life

When I came out as trans, my Irl "Friends" of over 10 years decided, or rather, told me flatly to my face
>You're not even human
>You don't deserve human empathy or respect
>I never understood what you were into

I've recently needed to be put on mood stabilizers, and a lot of my life is quite joyless. There are scant moments where I feel like a woman, let alone a happy woman.

you gotta be kidding me about being jealous...

>>36327607
I don't have any friends but I can deduce that it wouldn't feel so nice to experience that

>>36327480
do the fully passable ones also wear them?

>>36327581
tragic

>>36327454
Ok but how do I get tits like that?

>>36327454
My friend told me about a kid who is transitioning in his school and i learned that it's really a thing and sex change is not solely about being a transvestite.

And i looked more to it and everything made huuuge sense.

>>36327454
I saw my aunt in knee-high socks when I was 8 and wanted to try it myself. ever since then I've had a thing for nylons and crossdressing but repressed it for a decade until I saw that being trans is an actual thing.

then I figured if I pass, I will transition.
so how I'm looking into DIY HRT

>>36328354
try the hrt general

i'm not one, i don't get the dysphoria at all, i'm cool with being a man, but i own some women's clothes and wigs, not even that keen on crossdressing, i don't even like that term, they are my clothes, i just think it's fun to not limit yourself in someways and that's one of them , if i see a dress i like fuck it i'll buy it

>>36327454
felt it as a kid but unluckily grew up in a conservative country born to a very religious family. when i was really young, apparently i wore my sister's dress out of curiosity and twirled around in it once but mom saw me and scolded me cuz "boys aren't supposed to wear dresses". i ended up internalizing that lesson and developing an internalized fear of being queer because of upbringing and religion so i never properly had the chance to know about the LGBT, nor ever properly question the possibility i might be part of them. conservative country also meant discussion of queer stuff was generally hush-hush and either mocked or met with violence so it just made it even harder to find out more.

cut to 21 years old, i'm super fucking depressed and my self-esteem is in shambles and life falling apart, but for once, try to sit myself down and find out the root of what was wrong, end up realizing how much i hated being a guy, end up remembering that old memory as a kid, end up frantically looking for and learning every bit of lgbt info that i once stopped myself from knowing and that's basically how i found out i'm trans. got on DIY as fast as i could because doing it the legal way would mean waiting even longer and i already wasted far enough not knowing so fuck that. and yes, i'm still mad about my upbringing, i wish i could sit down young me and tell them there was nothing wrong with exploring yourself cuz maybe i could've accepted it far earlier.

>>36327454
depends what you mean. i wanted to grow up into a woman from a young age. but i didnt because, among other reasons, i like women. i thought that would severely limit my options, and also i felt like a predatory agp who shouldnt troon. but then i did anyway, just after waiting too long to be able to pass.
so "how did i originally know" and "how did i finally decide to do it" are very different questions.

>>36327454
Tried out my mom’s panties and got an euphoria boner uwu

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Lots of mini awakenings as a kid that I chalked up to just being a weird horny kid. The precise moment when I realized what was going on was when I was 16, and saw a girl in the hall with a long, flowy boho-chic skirt and having a crushing moment of jealousy that it wasn't socially acceptable for me to wear cool pants like that.

FF 20 years, long skirts are still my favorite, but I save them just for special occasions.

>>36327454
Trap hentai and sissy porn did it to me.
t. AGP cringelord (cringelady?)

Actually after I did the captcha, I remembered I dressed up as a girl after watching White Chicks as a kid, and that came first.

>>36327454
I prefer 'decided I was trans' to 'discovered I was trans'. Desperately trying to remove any and all agency in the formulation of your identity is insecure babytrans behavior.

And probably because I was intersex and my doctor told me tonstart taking T and taking T made me miserable and that made me reflect on what I want and how I feel about my body

>>36327454
Around the time that everyone was hitting puberty, I realized how absolutely cucked it was that all the girls got were heavy, painful tits and periods, while the boys got so much bigger and stronger and more adult looking than us. All of the boys on my co-ed swim team were suddenly able to easily beat me even though we were the same skill level just because they now had a much easier time gaining muscle and got bigger and retained being sleek and hydrodynamic instead of curvy like girls are. This made me feel some of the deepest anger that I have ever felt in my life.

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>>36327454
The full story: As a kid I was into tons of girly shit. I loved pink, I carried around a toy that gave purse vibes, hated boy stuff and sports and anything masculine, always picked girl characters in games. But school friends and probably my family (don't remember any moments but I'm sure it happened) pressured me to not be girly. Became an immensely depressed teen and couldn't figure out what made me feel so bad; I felt bad about my body and stuff but thought it was inconsequential. No sense of "I'm a girl" cause the concept wasn't even something I could imagine at the time.
By the time I knew what being trans was I was already knee deep in right wing politics thanks to my "friends" and because I was gay I got wrapped up in "I'm not a fucking troon I'm a based cute gay guy" I wanted to crossdress and be a "femboy" but when I finally got a pair of panties I felt dysphoric as fuck and repressed for another few years.
Then I met a trans girl I liked a lot and I was considering hrt again (had considered years prior but through the lens of being a femboy, didn't do it cause I didn't want boobs). She let me try out being a girl, referred to as one, dressing as one and I felt comfort I'd never felt before. No going back since then.
Tl;dr: Cluelessly depressed growing up repressing until I had someone that allowed me to explore gender and I found out I was happier this way

>>36328949
Man I remember always feeling that jealousy but my brain could only understand it as "I wanna fuck her and what I'm feeling is actually loneliness" it kept me from making friends with any girls and I really regret that

>>36327454
Idk. I never felt dysphoria, or hated being a man. I kinda like the way I am, but I always wanted to get rid of my dick and balls, even as a child I'd stab it with a fork sometimes because it just felt like some weird thing hanging off me. Now people on this board tell me I should troon out, but idk. except for that dick thingy I feel good

>>36327454

> be me
> autistic depressed hikki stoner neet
> feb 2017
> chat with some trans nerd i know
> mention how it makes me overjoyed for a week when i get gendered fem
> "oh, maybe you are A Trans?"
> "idk big life changes are scary"
> think "whatever. i've lived as a man for three dozen years and yeah it's miserable and yeah it'd all be better if i were a woman-"
> "-wait. imma make a spreadsheet."
> list reasons to transition, with a min and max value for each
> list reasons to not transition, with a min and max value for each
> sum, compare
> "ok it's a bit in favor of doing it"
> call the next morning to get my first appointment

> seven years later
> be me
> posting itt
> just got thoroughly fucked by my lover
> going to a social tonight for local queer n kinky artists
> i love my life (lazy hedonism)
> i love my body (thin and lithe, functional and decorative)
> i love my job (professional sex pervert)

>>36327454
a group of transbians cornered me in a dark alley and held me at gunpoint while they injected me with their bathtub estrogen
with my T-strength sapped, they forced me to join their polycule and become a tranny >:(

>learn about puberty
>immediately decide I don’t want to go through with it
>physical changes don’t bother me aside from body hair, but being horny feels like a curse
>end up looking pretty androgynous
>eventually learn about transgender people
>look into hrt
>killing my reproductive system scared me out of it since I kinda wanted kids
>try super hard to get into a stable relationship for that purpose, they all go wrong in various ways
>getting older and more masculine aging starts
>start thinking I should probably transition but still unsure since it won’t fix the other problems in my life

>>36327480
its been a popular style of jewelry to wear publicly since about the 10th century and so seculars still wear them today and people who are pretty and passing are more likely to care about fashion

>>36329150
dont troon

>>36327454
>be me
>10 years old (2001)
>want to be a girl
>12 years old (2003)
>took sex ed class in 5th/6th grade. was disgusted learning about male puberty and wanted female puberty so badly
>14 years old (2005)
>crossdressed and visited girl forums. started reading transgender stories online
>16 years old (2007)
Starting feeling really dysphoric about my body and jealous of beautiful girls
>repress for years because:
1) conservative family
2) was ashamed and embarrassed about it
3) didn't have the knowledge that transitioning was possible. didn't know anyone who transitioned)
4) was minor at the time and transitioning probably wasn't legal in my state at the time even with parental consent

Random things in no particular order
>love having long hair, wearing makeup and wearing girl clothes. envious of female fashion
>always imagine myself as the girl in porn
>want to look young and pretty. hate looking like a guy
>have a more "feminine" personality
>relate better with girls and feel less awkward around them
>dislike traditionally masculine hobbies and enjoy tradtionally feminine hobbies

>>36327454
>know since i was a young child
>want to be my bff’s girlfriend
>puberty hits really hard 12-14
>never mention it again
not a troon though

>>36329260
bank your gametes and get the injectables.

(if you want kids but can't afford ivf, then you're too poor to have kids. if you want kids but ivf seems too much time/effort, then you're not in a position to take care of kids.)

you'll have much better relationships -and generally life- if you're living without the constant pressure of playing the gender role that you're worse at playing.

>>36329150
you can do what your want forever
your body is a shell, change it any way you like
decorate it, modify it, inside, outside, whatever it takes to make yourself feel good living in it

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>>36327454
A 4g mushroom convinced me to stop repressing.

this girl sat me down and kept asking if i was trans and i was like “ok maybe” and then she gave me birth control