>Trans girl with Avoidant Personality Disorder>tell my boyfriend that I can only talk to him two or three days out of the week so that I don't get overwhelmed >he tries to compromise with me but eventually he agrees>a few days ago he asks me when I would like us to move in together >I go "I dunno, maybe never">he's confused >I say that due to my AvPD, I might want to live separately even if we get married >we talk it over for a while, don't make much progress>he's been polite but distant the past few days Am I about to get dumped
>>36370609Yep.
yeah, people expect to be able to cohabitate with their partners. you should seek therapy for your AvPD so this doesnt happen again in the future
>>36370609Yes absolutelyIf you want things to work out you're going to need to let him in, you"re going to need to compromise. You don't need to be interacting literally every moment of the day, but you do need to let him in and be close to you if you want things to last.
>>36370691I'm not sure what to do. I'm so broken. When I spend time around people, I get anxious and need a break before too long. If I don't get this break I become feverish, then a while later I become manic, then a while after that I start vomiting. My body and mind both disintegrate unless I'm able to get a day or two of space to myself.
>>36370609Not guaranteed but definitely could happen. Sadly most normies aren't willing to compromise with or support neurodivergent people, so there's a non-zero chance your bf won't be willing to stick with you. Hopefully he's one of the good ones and he is actually willing to put in the effort to support you, but just in case he's not try looking for other neurodivergent peeps in the future.I'm autistic and I totally get needing alone time. I can barely even spend all day around my cats, the idea of having another human being sharing my living space all day sounds extremely stressful. I would need to have like a room all for myself, maybe even a separate bedroom to use when I need to be alone.
>>36370745lots of people do things independently from their partners. but if you can't even cohabitate with a person for an extended period of time that is a problem. humans are social animals not everyone is type a super social but social bonds are the greatest form of long term happiness in people's lives. if this is something that exists for you regardless of partner and isn't specific to the person you especially need to get professional help with it. failing treatment for your self described avoidant personality disorder you just may be uninterested and incapable of long term serious relationships. in that case just stick to hookups and stop wasting everyone else's time.
>>36370745would a separate room be something he's willing to work with while you go to therapy or get medication. it sounds rough because he cares enough to try to make it work but he needs more intimacy than he can get.
>>36370883I get that you mean well but your really coming across as ableist.
>>36370609as someone with avpd, i think you need to be more forward about what it is to your partnerand, you have to understand that avpd is something you can work on and break away from, and you have an incredibly good opportunity to with your boyfriend. ask him for help in getting more adjusted to being close to someone.but also, understand it from his perspective too, most people want to live with the person they marry and suchwanting alone time, even a lot of alone time, is understandable, but living separately is going to be a hard sell for most
>>36370609get nice noise canceling headphones. I use those to show people I am trying to be alone right now you can close your eyes and listen to something, I think it's a good compromise
>>36371100Im sorry but nobody has to put up with your AvPD. It’s not fun to be with someone who pathologically avoids you half the time.
>>36371208Okay, so you're just too weak and selfish to be willing to accept your partner's limitations due to their legitimate health conditions. You're exactly the same as the people who leave their partners when they get diagnosed with cancer.
>>36371248Nah, because even if my partner got cancer at least they’d actually want to spend time with me.Relationships are about spending time together and bonding, you don’t like actually spending time with your partner, you just want the security of a relationship without putting in the effort.
>>36370609I could possibly accept it if there was consistency between their words and actions, but the only troon I've known to try and excuse this behavior with claims of avpd was a giant whore who would regularly meet up with discord randoms so there's literally zero chance they wouldn't cheat relentlessly on anyone dumb enough to marry them.
From this thread it seems you use AvPD like a crutch and expect everyone in your life to do all the heavy lifting for you without doing anything yourself.
>>36371377>most empathic neurotypical
>>36371503Go ahead and tell me what kind of effort you put into a relationship? Because it seems to me that you only put up obstacles for your so called partner and expect them to climb over them all just to have a “relationship” with somebody who doesn’t even like spending time with them.
>>36371503>neurotypicalCase in point.AvPD is not an innate brain configuration, it's a personality disorder. You can work on those and get meaningful improvement, and saying anything that includes the word "maybe never" is basically conceding you don't plan to. BF is honestly right to dump in that situation.(Also "neurotypical" is often a dead giveaway for I got diagnosed on tiktok and made mental illness into an identity)>t. not neurotypical btw
>>36371503I’m autistic. It’s very hard for be to be actively social with people. But I’m also in love with a woman. So I work hard every day to connect with her and talk with her and bond with her even though socializing feels entirely unnatural. I still love when she responds to my questions or jokes and whatnot. That’s what it means to be in a relationship. You try. You put in effort. Even if it’s hard.
>>36370609you just wrecked the relationship
>>36371555neurotypical is used in plenty of clinical contextst. diagnosed at 9
>>36370609>tell someone that you need more distance>they give you more distance>this is bad somehowI hate women so much
>>36371100>>36371248Neither of these posts were me by the way, I've been asleep. Not sure if honest defense or falseflag :p
>>36370609Go to therapy. This sort of thing is a dealbreaker for the majority of people.
>pretend I have some bullshit personality disorder for attention.>the definition of the disorder precludes getting attention.It must suck to be stupid.
>>36373490Have you ever considered killing yourself
