>>36631109
so is the webm supposed to be shocking? suprise me? i can tell thats a woman from the thumbnail.

>>36631109
i got talked down to a lot after i passed, people don't value what i have to say

>>36631109
No.

>>36631109
>anything you miss

I didn't have to worry about my hair, or being raped

>>36631109
being normal because i dont pass

>>36631147
This kills the MRA

>>36631109
the strength and ability to fight back. if I don't have a gun on me im fucked against most men

>>36631109
muscle mass, pre-e i never really realised just how big the difference is between men and women. now i get why women are scared of men. i love my guy friends but after feeling the strength difference between myself and them after only 7 months im kinda scared of them on a base level

>>36631435
I know. Its hot

>>36631462
i mean yeah but mostly terrifying

>>36631487
no definitely mostly hot

>>36632515
CNC is fun, NC not so much

>>36632745
this

>>36631109
I miss not even worrying about going to 711 at 1:45am

>>36631109
absolutely fucking nothing. my life is better in every single way.

>>36632798
No one's gonna do anything to you dude I guarantee it lmfao

>>36631109
not being glared at by xtian & muslim retards was nice, i guess?
but no, not really. i just miss people leaving me the fuck alone.

>>36631333
lmao, just don’t pass nerd it’s really that shrimple

Natural strength and stamina is the big one. I'm in the military and the fitness test has gone from something I could at least casually do and pass with minimal effort to a struggle of life and death. I pretty much have to run and work out every single day to stand a chance of not getting rekt, whereas before I could take breaks here and there as life ebbed and flowed and always be able to "get back into form" as long as I had at least a couple of weeks heads up.

Folks being straight with me and not acting like I'm too fragile to take hard news. I got the shit end of the stick at work recently (pretty much lost my dream job) and my boss has been seriously fucking about giving me a solid reason why. Folks in general are just more gentle with me and I really don't like it because it makes me feel like an asshole when I spit fire at them. (Maintenance background, communication pretty much starts with "what's up motherfuckers" and ends with "don't kill yourself before the mission is over")

Recently also hit with the realization that I am probably fucked in a self defense situation. I know the moves but I just can't apply the same kind of force I used to be capable of. Goes hand in hand with the strength thing. I'm also slower and have less stamina. Fortunately I live in a safe area, but as a former hood rat it just kinda floats in the back of my mind. If I got caught out alone somewhere by someone who didn't want to be civil, I'd have no recourse.

>>36631109
i cared less about what people thought of me and felt more comfortable out in public
im too concerned about how people think of me and how my appearance looks in public now

>>36631333
>or being raped
you can be a guy and still get raped

>>36633695
Yes but when I was 115kg of muscle it was less likely than now I'm 75kg with e cup tits.

Believe it or not, physical strength helps a lot in situations where someone is trying to physically overpower you

>>36633695
Also the number of men that rape vulnerable women far outweighs the number of men that want to rape muscular men

>>36631109
just the strenght. all the other things i simply don't care..

>>36635123
post milkies milky momma

>>36633438
People like yourself intrigue me (in a good way). Like you lived this active lifestyle, went to military, etc, in tandem with dysphoria (assuming you had/have it), but you found your calling in being a woman.

>>36631109
Not giving a single fuck about what my face looks like
That's it

>>36631109
I miss not caring about passing. And being normal.

>>36631109
I'm still man adjacent after transitioning

>>36631109
more difficult to pee without a pp

>>36631109
not much, i miss not being considered public enemy number one to a large chunk of america and elsewhere

>>36631109
i miss not being talked down to lol.

blogpost, but, there's this guy at work who's literally two levels down from me (he's a field support IT tech while I'm a systems specialist) who keeps, and I'm gonna use a bad word here, mansplaining really dumb shit about about my job to me. Like, first thing he ever said to me when he started was "Oh you use a Mac, those suck, you should really use Windows instead". He keeps telling me the company should lease out gaming laptops instead of enterprise ones. He saw me creating a virtual Ubuntu Server instance on our virtualization platform once (vendor requirement, would prefer if all we deployed were RHEL myself) and told me that I should install something better like Arch. Plus a lot more. Fuck I hate that guy.

>>36631147
>after

>>36631109
being able to make friends without them expecting me to have sex with them

Picking up heavy stuff with ease, banging out sets of 40 pushups with little effort. Being confident in my ability to fight (I did boxing and Muay Thai for years)

>>36633457

Aha, the military was a huge part of what cracked my egg. I had waist length hair from my earlier memories so it had become a reasonable excuse ("I just like the way I look, it doesn't make me a girl/woman"). Shaving my head bald and having to drop a bunch of my fairly feminine mannerisms just to make it through basic and my junior enlisted years... I became completely unrecognizable to myself. Essentially became a powder keg of internalized gender issues.

Got put on pure admin duties during COVID (pinned on Staff Sergeant around the same time so I had the room to) so I had a lot of time to examine myself and WHY I was so miserable that I wanted to jump off of the top of our ATC tower. Got an ADHD diagnosis, that fixed some things but not everything. Retrained to a job I was actually interested in. That fixed more things but there was still a nugget of self loathing I couldn't ditch. Finally put the gears together around that point.

Wish my closet wasn't a goddamn padlocked vault though. Took me til I was 30 to even start HRT despite literal decades of "this dude is clearly a chick" moments. My own brother said he wasn't surprised and was just waiting for me to figure it out myself - since whenever he hinted at it, I got very angry. Fuckin hell.

>>36636631
>just passoid problems

>>36636631
This
My only male friends now are my friends' Boyfriends or my Boyfriends friends because if I have a male friend outside of those dynamics it gets weird fast

File: de5a55b3-dfbe-4193-a1f7-3(...).jpg (86 KB, 736x845)

86 KB JPG

>>36631109
i was a weak twink before
but i felt like i could at least defend myself somewhat
wasn't scared as much of people
now i avoid trouble at all costs
i feel like even most cisgirls could overpower me
i don't mind it
just a tad bit scary

i wasn't as much dysphoric about my voice while repping
like i wished i was born mute
or that i'd learn sign language and never talk again
but those were mostly things in the back of my mind
i really hate hearing my voice now
and avoid talking to people when i can

>>36631360
>>36631435
this is me as a man except i live in a state where it's nigh impossible to get a gun
but also men can use weapons as well and are more likely to actually shoot the gun
t. 120lbs twink with no muscle mass

>>36635132
Now let's change the legal definition of rape to include when women do it and add prison rape statistics to that number.

>>36631109
Having upper body strength
That's about it

>>36637209
as a repper i have zero attraction to my female friends, only mild jealousy
which is probably worse

>>36638684
>state where it's nigh impossible to get a gun
my country banned most guns as well as most self defence tools, i hate the fucking nanny state leaving me defenceless :c

>>36638711
i live in america so they can't flat out ban guns but some states make it as hard as possible
it's easier for me to get a gun by moving somewhere else than going through the process here

>>36638767

As someone who is trained to use firearms (military), your better choice for self defense most of the time will be a taser/pepper spray/similar thing. The amount of time it takes for you to draw, arm, and bring a firearm to bear is surprisingly long and a determined attacker can disarm you/hurt you in that time.

In CQB training, my firearm trainer was a retired, fat, ex-Raven. In an exercise, I was to draw my (training firearm) and aim it at a sudden threat. He sprinted 20 feet from around a corner, snatched my firearm from my hand, and threw me on my ass before I could get the safety off - and I KNEW he was coming. In a similar exercise, armed with a baton, I was ready to strike before he got in range.

Plus a taser is intimidating as fuck. The loud crack of electricity will give anyone pause. I took a taser to my thigh as part of my training - your attacker WILL go down if hit by one and won't be getting back up for a while.

Firearms are overblown and mostly useful at range or in situations where you have many potential targets.

>>36638932
any recommendations for someone where tasers and pepperspray are illegal?

>>36638950

Honestly in a place where even nonlethal tools are banned, your best legal recourse would probably be to learn self defense techniques. You may have lost strength, but it doesn't take much to snap a pinky backwards or gouge eyes.

You could also pack a pocket knife. But I've seen knife fights (and been in one) during my hood rat days. Someone WILL bleed and it takes very little to be lethal. Watched a young man bleed out because an artery in his thigh got clipped by a knife during a gang dispute. So I wouldn't go this route unless you are mentally prepared to take a life in a very up-close and brutal way. I wasn't - I still remember the face of the one guy who tried to mug me and got stabbed in the gut for it. (He lived, but I see the look on his face in my nightmares)

Of course you always have the option of going the illegal route and packing a nonlethal arm. In a situation where you are being attacked, it may be better to suffer the legal consequences than it is to be raped/assaulted/worse. But that's entirely your discretion on whether you think it's worth getting put on the bad side of your country's justice system. I'd do it, but I'm southern and we're notorious for this kind of shit, ha!

Mind all I don't consider myself an expert. My training was a thing but it was barebones because my specialty is not a combat one. An actual self defense expert would give much better perspective.

>>36631109
i’m manmoding still but as i look gayer i get taken less seriously and people are generally meaner to me bc ig they know that i wont do anything about it

>>36639125
thanks ill have a have a look at some opyions and see what works best.
ngl this sort of thing is still very new and terrifying for me so i just want to say genuinely thank you for the help

>>36638932
yeah like i want to carry pepper spray on me as a first resort and a firearm as a second since any situation that justifies nonlethal force could quickly turn lethal, but i also feel like an attacker would get me before i even know to use a weapon

>The amount of time it takes for you to draw, arm, and bring a firearm to bear is surprisingly long and a determined attacker can disarm you/hurt you in that time.
is this a skill issue? wouldn't a taser have the same issue but even slower

>>36639125
>You may have lost strength, but it doesn't take much to snap a pinky backwards or gouge eyes.
it takes strength to wrestle control enough to do that though. i wouldn't put any weight in my ability to win a fist or knife fight

>>36639203

Ofc. This shit is scary and a lot of folks never learn how to defend themselves.

Remember tho, the best defense is always preparation and avoidance. If you can avoid putting yourself in a situation where you have to fight to begin with, that's a win. A few things my own mother taught me way back when that I still utilize today:

>Know where your friends are and how to reach them quickly.
>Always be cognizant of your exits. In a situation where you may be at risk, do not set yourself up so you can be cornered.
>Be aware of your surroundings. Know who is watching you and who is demonstrating suspicious behavior.
>If you are being followed by a stranger, do NOT go straight home. Gravitate towards more populated areas, friends, or authorities. If possible, let someone know you are uncomfortable.
>If being followed in a vehicle, do NOT get out of the vehicle if you are somehow forced to stop. Your car is a huge fucking projectile and it WILL win against a human body. You are not so sturdy.
>If you are confronted by someone, DISENGAGE, RETREAT, HIDE. Contrary to movies and cartoons, fighting in any form is a messy affair. Nobody is as badass as they think they are, esp when they get hit upside the head with a brick. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
>Disengage first. Make it known you don't want to be part of this. Possibly get the attention of a stranger to break the bystander effect. Let people know what's going on and that it's NOT okay. If there are not people - start shouting.
>If the person is persistent, leave the area. Either try to get somewhere that you cannot be followed or where there are people who can help you. Do not flee into unpopulated areas - prying eyes are the enforcers of the social contract.

1/2

>>36639427

2/2
>The last resort is fighting. If someone is attacking you, assume that your life is on the line. There is no such thing as dirty or honorable fighting. Bite, claw, gouge, and rip. Pick up objects and swing. Easy weak spots to target for maximum effect are: balls (obviously), eyes, knees, fingers. DO NOT let yourself get taken to the ground by someone bigger than you - the ground game makes weight an even bigger factor. Learn how to set up a basic ground guard if you go down, which will minimize chances that you get pinned and maximize your capacity to escape.
>If you start a fight, be prepared to flee as soon as you stagger them. Once adrenaline gets flowing, chances of outright murder increase. Your entire purpose in engaging in a fight is to create a window for escape if you otherwise cannot.

Also, don't trust a drink that has left your line of sight for more than a split second. I cover my drinks with my hand in public spaces and throw them out if I have to set them down. It doesn't take much at all to drug someone.

>>36639269
>skill issue
100% for sure. But at the same time, it is very commonly taught in military and police service that if your firearm is holstered and you are within charging range, the firearm is ineffective and potentially even a danger to you. The preferred weapon I was taught in that range was actually a baton, which can be brought completely to bear in less than a second (but also requires some manner of practice/martial proficiency compared to other tools. I got my ass beat bad in baton training - got my little tail tossed through the air a few times. I think the Ravens just liked using me as an example because I'm lightweight and easy to throw around)

>>36635631
i don't necessarily understand it myself, but there are stats saying like 20% of trans people in the US are veterans or current military, which is twice the general population rate

>>36631109
Having a flat chest ngl

>>36635132
But you're thinking of real women not trannies

>>36638684
go to a different state where private sales aren't regulated.
buy a box of ammo, 25 hollow point rounds is more than enough for self defense.
keep it on you when going somewhere sketchy or by yourself.
you'll probably never use it but on the one off chance you do, wipe away any prints and dump it in a trashcan in a side of town you never go
repeat if necessary
all states are concealed carry states if you're not a little bitch about it. don't be a retard and commit more than 1 crime at a time. revolvers are better in terms of getting away with it

>>36639537

IME as a trans military type who knows several other trans military types, the common thread is that we generally joined as some way to prove our masculinity. And what's more masculine than rucking it in the military, yea? Then when being in such a masculine environment doesn't alleviate that deep sense of wrongness, you are forced to address why else you are suffering.

I didn't join to BE masculine, but as a result of me passively attempting to he masculine. Got a woman pregnant and needed a way to put a roof over their heads - decided the "military family man" was the way to go. Yea, that fucking panned out. Now I'm a trans woman married to a trans man with 2 kids. Pft.