>be me>schizophrenic 20-something boymoder>have typical active college sex life>plenty of bdsm and roleplaying but everyone is very nice to me outside of sex>i get bored>memories begin to stir of how i used to get bullied by siblings, cousins, classmates, friends, crushes...>...>time passes, i become a recluse>touch starved but im bored of sex and scared of people>the only sexual desire i feel anymore is wanting to be beaten, sexually harassed or rapedi feel sad that people don't touch me without my consent anymore, and i don't really have any reason or desire to leave the house in the first place. i wish i had a hikki neet big brother with anger issues so i could queue with him in online games and let him take his anger out on me when i do poorly.
>>36633925Bleak.
>>36633925we really are all the same, there should be some cnc service for freaks like usnot grindr though it will only be full of hot people
>>36633925i want to touch you
>>36633934im actually on a pretty good path i think so long as i can manifest a tulpa >>36633958i think i'd still prefer to be manipulated by people i'm at least somewhat close to (one-sided or not) rather than strangers. it feels good to like somebody and to never have your affection acknowledged or to even intentionally/directly express it yourself, keeping it as a secret and ruminating over how good it feels when they knock the wind out of you.>>36634087you'd have to catch me first. i'm not strong but i'm nimble.
