If you were informed tomorrow that you had 6 months to live, how would you feel about your decision not to transition? all are welcome to comment
it's important to feel confident in your big life decisions so that you won't live to regret them
i would be content in not being a half formed abomination, at least i stayed true to my nature and didn't mutilate my body. i would have been a sad piece of shit before and after, the thought of death makes me relieved, soon all this will be over. god finally heard me.
>>36643708I read a story on here once about a boymoder dying in the hospital and her last thought was that she could’ve been a nice girl
>>36643736i'm sorry you're suffering so much. why do you live?
>>36643708i would be happy and at peace with myself because i repped succesfully to the end
>>36643767>why do you live?Most modern 1st world reppers are cowards who couldn't go against the grain at the right time and start taking pills. Why would you expect them to have the guts to kill themselves?
my response is probably what you wished to get, so I'm gonna say itI would do it yesterday. If I'm going to die soon, my parents already knew at least I'd give it a try anyway because I guess also my life would all crumble so i might give it a shot before it all endsstill, not gonna do it in normal conditions
>>36643767no reason at all. i'm too much of a pussy to kill myself. i want to die so bad, i'm alcoholic, my friend and parents don't know and actually encourage it. i'm a clown to everyone, no one gives a shit about me, no childhood friends, no memories to treasure, no goals,no personality or individuality, i'm stupid, im brainless. i need to be dead. i need to die. i need someone to kill me. i like music but even then i listebn to it to be prertentious , idk anything about it i just copy whjat other people say. i dont live. im not living,
>>36643809you're right! i'm oung. i could have the time to do so. i don't have the bgalls. i don't have the will
>>36643708i would be happy and content my “journey” is finally over.t. repped because i could never afford surgery
>>36643782why do you find that thought comforting?
>>36643819>my response is probably what you wished to getmy only wish is to help people to be more at peace with their decisions, but you're correct in assuming that i believe many reppers are not...why wouldn't you do it in normal conditions? it's interesting to me that you'd attempt to transition even with so little time left. what if it was even less time? what if you only had a month? or maybe even less time than that?
>>36643891because i would rather die ten times over as a man and as what i'm meant to be than forfeit my soul only to twist myself into a disgusting skinwalker abomination
>>36643708I am a repressor but detransitioned. Being trans is not the answer.
>>36643837i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. please know that there is beauty in you just as there is in all of us. As someone who's been in a very similar situation to you with very similar thoughts to yours and climbed my way out of it, I want you to know that it's possible. It's never too late to start living. It's never too late to start to start taking care of yourself. It's hard, but it'll be worth it if you try. i think it could help you a lot if you found someone you could open up to, a friend or a family member, or maybe a therapist? You don't have to go through all this suffering alone. There's someone in this world who cares about you.
>>36644001as long as you're happy with yourself
>>36644013i don't think so, but thanks. i'm glad you're better but i will jsut end up dead. i wish you all the best tho.
>>36643939realistically, I'm afraid I'm still faking it out or even if not it's not gonna have enough effect on mealso parents would get sad their already faggot son is doing further damage to his body
>>36644057if you're afraid you're faking it, why not look into that? how could you prove it to yourself? what steps do you need to take to settle that question once and for all? it's important to know yourself. as for your parents, a lot of people have worries like that, but would you apply that same logic to someone else? if you had a gay friend with homophobic parents would you tell them not to be gay to appease them? personally, i think it's a poor line of thinking. i completely understand your concern, but it's your life, you shouldn't let other people's judgements affect how you live it. Easier said than done though I know.
>>36643708I literally got cancer (where I had a 35% chance of death) and I didn't transition.
>>36644145truth to be told, I'm so fucking afraid to do the next steps, admitting that it may be true or that I would to go through the whole transitionthere's also the aspect it would probably destroy my little world i already built as a cope with all of thisI don't think I have any more energy left from already dealing with my clinical depression for yearsI can't even fucking type normally because of the anxiety I'm feeling right now
>>36644164Want to add that I did not regret my repression at all.
I'm on hrt now but I'd quit hrt immediately and be the happiest I can beit'll finally all be over, I won't have to manmode forever, I can be let go of this hellish existence
>>36643761Personally, I'm going to boymode until my death.
Not a direct answer to the OP, but I realized wtf was wrong with me at 20 and it took me until last year when I was 26 to get on hormones. I regret every minute I didn't transition. It's not just time spent masculinizing and ruining my body, it's days and years of my life that were miserable and that I can't get back.>>36643837It sounds like you're in serious pain, you're not a "pussy" for still being alive. Living through the pain you're experiencing shows that you're resilient. It's no surprise that you struggle with your sense of self when you're repressing. Before I started transition everything about my life that was "trans" felt awful, it was only the confusion and pain of dysphoria. That doesn't mean that being trans is bad, it means that repping is bad. You have a whole journey of self discovery and potential joy ahead of you if you stop repping.You're already unhappy with the way things are, I know change is scary, but why not give transition a shot? What have you got to lose? It hurts me to see trans people suffer like this on a daily basis, and I hate this society that guilts and shames people into repping.
>>36643736Would you spend the last 6 months cross dressing and getting fucked in the ass tho?
>>36644550why quit?
>>36644287i'm really sorry you're struggling so much. i really think it's in your best interest to seek help from someone, whether that be professionally or just someone in your life that you trust, or ideally both. please keep trying, it's always worth it. you don't want to blink and realize you've let your entire life slip past you. there are people who spend their entire lives in suffering that could have been alleviated had they only offered themselves the kindness they needed to be happy, and it's one of the most things in the world. and I'm not talking about trans people, I'm talking about anyone who's scared to accept themself for any reason, or who chooses not to improve their life out of fear of what people would think. it's never too late until it is. don't let it be
>>36647333>and it's one of the most things in the world.*most tragic things in the worldwhat a horrible time to make a typo
>>36643708I had a 6 month period where doctor discovered a lump, and I underwent blood testing, ultrasounds, CT scans, finally surgery which confirmed the cancer diagnosis. Before that period, I periodically crossdressed, but the stress and uncertainty of the possibility of cancer threw me into a frenzy and I was crossdressing constantly. After the surgery, I recovered and it became pretty clear they got it all and the cancer probably wouldn't come back, I continued crossdressing, but its slowed down more and more to the point I barely crossdress now. I hate what that says about me, that I need the fear of death to finally allow myself to be who I am. That or I'm just a degenerate hedonist who'd spend the last 6 months of my life doing coke, meth and barebacking anyone in an alley.
>>36643708i honestly feel like i'd feel a strange wave of relief at knowing how long i have, but it absolutely wouldn't help me transitioni don't think i'd realistically end up trying to better myself and fix everything before i go - to be honest, i feel like i'd most likely just repress the fear i have surrounding it and not say a word to anyone about itfor all the justifications i try and make to explain why i make myself suffer, like some mental moralfaggotry about how i don't want to worry the people around me, i think the most brutally honest one is that i'm self-loathing - to the point where it warps my worldview and makes me a genuinely selfish personeverything just feels numb, and to be honest, i think there's a small part of me that takes comfort in nothing feeling realsometimes i just psychoanalyse and berate myself for hours in the night to try and bring myself to tears so i can feel something, and it's this weird tightness in my chest that feels so much more real than anything else while it laststransition wouldn't help that. i'm genuinely fucked in the head, mostly from childhood trauma, so transition's probably just an attempt to escape that trauma rather than facing it - and i don't want to find myself still in the same space in five years' time with a non-functioning body, no interpersonal relationships beyond burned bridges, probably in a shitty legal state depending on what my government does moving forward, and yet still in the same mental statei suppose it's like that saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side". at this point, it's better to look at the possibility through rose-tinted glasses
i fall into the rogd category, am agamp/agp and wouldn't pass, I regret nothing
>>36643708if i knew that in 6 months i would die and that would truly be the end—no continuity of the soul, no karmic cycles, no judgment or tollhouses or anything of the sort?absolute relief. incomparable, absolute reliefand honestly? my life is pretty good—even so.
