I am at a crossroads. I’ve lost all ability to feel sexual pleasure and regularly feel ashamed at having trooned out. I have no reason to be on estradiol and don’t receive a tinge of happiness at having breasts anymore, all that’s left is a feeling that it is humorous and ridiculous that I’ve done this to my body. I’ve anticipated having a breakdown and regretting doing this to myself since the moment I started hormones a year ago, but somehow it never happens, I keep chugging on. Even through all that an invisible force keeps me going, urging me to not stop taking my pills. I don’t understand it at all. Why can’t I stop and leave this absurdity behind? I have memed myself into thinking quitting estrogen would be a colossal mistake despite the fact I had no dysphoria prior to starting it. I can’t go on like this.
>>36645116just stop taking estradiol
>>36645116>I had no dysphoria prior to starting itWhy did you even start it then
>>36645116Why did you start in the first place if you didn’t have dysphoria?
>>36645137>>36645156My life sucks hard and I browsed this board for a while because I found it relatable in terms of where trannies are at mentally. Getting on estrogen slowly started to become something I fixated on until I got on it. I didn’t have much to lose and thought maybe it could make things better. It hasn’t changed or fixed anything for me though.
what you need to ask yourself is do you actually want to detransition or are you just unsatisfied with your progress. do you really want to go back to being seen as a man?
>>36645552I don’t think I want to be a man, no. But I also don’t think I’ll ever be perceived as a woman and don’t even know if I want to be. it disgusts me to be in this permanent in-between state where I don’t want to be seen as a guy, but when trannies pretend I’m a woman it makes me feel hopelessly deluded. I’m afraid one day I’ll realize I’ve permanently locked myself in this limbo where I’m a clearly estrogenized male. I’m too masculine to ever be considered anything else and don’t hate being a guy *that* much. Which is why I have the recurring detrooning thoughts.
>>36645116femalebrained
>>36645936you are trapped forevert. trapped forever
>>36645936being an estrogenized male is better than just being male imot. considered social detransition before
