Anonymous
07/24/24(Wed)20:40:12 No.36646089

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Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)20:40:12 No.36646089

>be me trans girl, borderline personality disorder, the whole shebang
>be abused for most of my life
>the abuse stops
>start self harming to feel like im being abused
>feel uncomfortable when i am comfortable
>get bf
>doesnt like that i cut myself
>try to stop but fail
>date for 8 months
>tell him about previous trauma and physical abuse
>he feels terrible for me
>month later
>about to have sex again
>hes naked on the bed
>ask him to beat me / hurt me
>he looks sad / disappointed
>feel a wave of despair run over me
>gets up and goes to the bathroom
>comes out dressed
>"are you leaving?"
>bf lays back in bed
>"come here anon" while looking at me
>i crawl into bed and sit on the other side
>silent for 30 seconds, feel incredibly uncomfortable and hate myself
>he suddenly grabs me and holds me close on his side
>"whats wrong anon?" he says while sounding completely destroyed
>silence for another 10 seconds
>"i wish you would tell me whats wrong, i dont like when you get like this"
>unable to say anything
>he looks at me as i start to tear up
>he starts to play with my hair
>"you can cry sweetheart"
>spend the next hour crying to him uncontrollably
>finish crying and now cuddling
>he grabs my arm and rubs my scars
>"no more of this anon"
>agree
>have sex for the rest of the night


mfw this fixed my whole self harm issue