tell mother asterisk what is bothering you and I’ll try my best to help. seeing so much suffering here hurts my heart and none of you deserve to hurt the way you make yourselves do
>>36660793Are you that homely asian girl with the scar on her face?
>>36660835I haven’t looked at this website in a long time, no
>>36660793Lately I've been thinking and realised that I never really had parents. I mean they are present, but they weren't really there I guess. My father is a former alcoholic schizo with suicidal tendencies who basically checked out mentally decades ago, my mother is a people pleaser to the point of self harm but always focused on my siblings more. It feels like I was never adequately socialised which has had a serious negative impact on my life all around, I never went to my parents to ask for any advice during childhood even when I was bullied or about girls help with studying or anything. It just feels like I'm destined to turn out a loser because my parents are losers who's only real "achievement" is having kids. I mean it's harsh and I still care for them, but still
>>366607936’3 is too tall to be the way I wanna be
>>36660891who your parents are has no bearing on who you will become. It may influence you in ways you may not even begin to understand until your early 30s but that doesn’t have anything to do with the current moment. It’s okay to mourn a childhood, and it’s okay to cry over it and let those emotions be felt. That is how you move past something and you’ll have to learn how to do that your whole life. But not having present or active parents in your life is scary, try and see if there are any support structures or networks of people who can be there for you when you need them most. Always remember that it’s okay to be kind to yourself
>>36660793I feel like complete shit, I feel so behind in life. My parents are both morons who treated me terribly and I never had anyone to look up to in life and no one to actually guide me. I feel like I'm destined for misery. I'm in my mid 20's, have no friends, no worthwhile degree, no skills. I don't want to an hero because part of me wants to give myself a chance but the other part wants to give up so badly.
I've recently tried to find stability in a sort of faith in fate in a sort of synchronized way with the Magna Mater (bc she was our patron in those days, among other silly reasons) and it's given me genuine comfort. However, I'm concerned that really taking it seriously would leave me open to mockery as a weirdo or autist type... I guess I have a problem with nihilism that I'm trying to mitigate. Living such an anonymous life trying to avoid attention and never present as female out of courtesy has fucked with my head quite hard, as I'm sure it has for a lot of anons. I've fantasized alot about just being able to have a simple monastery life and escape it all, but I know I can never truly whole and part of society. I just want to find peace with myself in the world and hope things turn out less than completely awfully, but I don't want to be some excessively quirky lolcow freak.
>>36660907if you truly feel hurt over that thought and it bothers you, you need to stop that line of thinking because your going to be old one day and think back at every missed opportunity, you probably already do this to some degree. You’re living your life in a way that is restricted by what other people think and that only ever leads to misery. You will ALWAYS feel better being yourself instead of what society decides what box you must fit into.
>>36660954you’re defining your self worth based on what is expected of you by society instead of what you really want. being born in the late 90s puts you in a generation where it’s hard to find upward mobility and things feel different from the world we were told would exist. You have to define what makes life worth living on your own terms and follow them with every ounce of passion you have. There is always hope, even in the darkest places
>>36660959if you want to find peace then you have to abandon the fear that is holding you back from being your genuine self. looking at this board (or even website, honestly) is poison that marinates your way of thinking in negativity. Every single person has to make the decision if they will be true to themselves and you are so paralyzed with fear of what happens in other peoples heads that you can’t move. Strangers and people on the internet do not matter, it’s the people who truly care whose opinions you should value, instead of those who have already decided they will hate youhttps://youtu.be/WLwF_0Z2KHY?si=B87KA6_VOVOeSbSe
>>36660793mostly have just lost all energy to keep going and be motivated to keep my life in order. I have to devote all of my mental and physical energy to work and am too exhausted to clean or make a change on my days off. slowly coming to the acceptance that my parents while not technically abusive will never want to put effort in to change and have a good relationship. just feel drained and only surviving in hopes I may one day find the energy to get better. I won't ever give up but I always feel like I'm at that point and the world just seems so grim for what is yet to come.
>>36660793I come from a poor family, my parents didn't love me. The closest people to parental figures I had were my grandmother who died when I was eight and my uncle who left the country when I was seven and has promptly gone insane a few years later. I was abused as a child. I didn't actually hone my acting skills and now I work in IT, which I hate, but it pays well enough. I live in the most transphobic part of one of the most transphobic countries in Europe. Due to my mother's refusal to actually watch her child I now have some slight brain trauma which lead to tremors and damaged eyesight
>>36661077nice dubs summer, checked
>>36660793i really wanna not be me. i embarrass myself at every turn and i have no life, I wish I was someone competent and self-assured with a defined presence and reason to be comfortable in myself.
>>36660793I've had a shitty, fairly traumatic life, awful family relationships (only really started to salvage things with my mother and sibling semi-recently, my father is dead to me), my family never got me the help I desperately needed when I was younger regarding various mental issues and it has persisted in to adulthood, I've job-hopped a ton due to burn out and breakdowns and haven't been able to escape being a lower class, poor wagecuck ever, and have been fighting an uphill battle to take care of myself constantly since I was 18. I've grown a lot, learned a lot, and have been slowly trying to salvage my life (now 28, don't feel like it though) and work on improving things. My estrogen supply is getting low and I'm also stuck living with friends (great people in short bursts, awful roommates and I'm beyond fucking sick of them and their bullshit). Most days I just want to give up and die, but I keep forcing myself to go on. I guess I'm aware of what I need to do and am slowly trying to do it, but its exhausting, and most days I'd rather just put a bullet in my brain then be a trans woman who was dealt a shitty hand. Some of it is my fault though, and I own that. Live and learn, I guess. Worst part is, HRT is going great for me and I'm looking decent-ish already, but I cannot shake these feelings and I'm sick of being me and being alive.
>>36660793Are there people who are destined to be loners their whole lives?I was a loner in my teenage years and early 20s. I'm still a loner in my late 20s and despite being a talkative extravert, no one my own age seems to want to even associate with me. I don't want to think about if it's the tranniness causing it, because I ultimately don't want to think about discrimination on that basis. Besides, there's all sorts of transbians who find themselves in polycules within hours of going someplace new. Meanwhile, I end up sitting alone in cafes and bars, and no strangers are even interested to come to talk to me. I'm not ugly. It's not like I've been a burn victim. Yet at the same time, I know I'm not attracting people by my own looks. I know I'm overweight and I know I probably look fairly... meh. Why is it that every friendship I think I establish goes to shit once the person says "I like you, but I like [friend] more". It's like no one wants anything more than a casual acquaintance to pass away the hours at work. But in the evenings or weekends, there's literally no one to do anything with, and I just end up bed rotting.Am I really destined to go through my life as a loner, surrounded by strangers who have no interest in talking to me, beyond the bare minimum human interaction?
>>36660793I feel like Im just gonna look like a teenage boy forever which I guess is preferrable to being seen as a man but it still sucks that iwnbaw
>>36660793I thought you were Mother Bat for a second, like this anon here >>36660835She posted a few pics recently, and she looked really pretty, especially in that red dress she was wearing
