FUCK i missed thread title, it's supposed to be "lightning rod"

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I fucking hate how much you occupy my fucking mind, maybe if you stopped obsessing over your own fucking mental illness you'd realize there's people far more deeply depressed and existentially alone than your bpd lets you realize. If you don't talk to me I'm gonna cancel this fucking reality and wake up from this fever dream

I absolutely hate how much I care for you because you always let me down. You say you're trying but your actions don't show it. If this is the best you can do I gotta put distance between us. No one I know would accept over $1k in financial help over 2 months and not be applying to even ONE job. That's so fucked up of you to use people like that. Even if you mean well, even if you've been stressed out, I was asking bare minimum effort and you still let me down. Like you always do. It took too long to see the pattern and I want out

I love you more than I should.

realzing you dont care about me beyond 10 minutes of entertainment has sent me on a path of self reflection that has made my life much better. thank you

>>37241502
>or hate the most, that thing you've always wanted to say but could never tell it to their face.
You destroyed my teenage years because of all the bullying you inflicted on me, I had PTSD, and you broke my nose, to this day I can't breathe properly because of you, it will cost a fortune and years of work to repair the face you ruined.

I'm glad to live in this shitty country, where the privileged are rich and the poor only get poorer every year that passes, where there is social injustice, one day I will pay someone to kill you, to torture you to death, I've been watching you for a long time, I'm glad to see that you're more miserable than me, I'm glad to see that I'm getting richer and you're getting poorer, I don't have enough power yet to make you truly suffer, but one day, while you are alive, one day something will happen in your life, and I will be the one to return all the harm you caused me.

>>37241711
based tranny favela queen to be

I hope you are at peace wherever you are. You never knew how many people cared about you, me especially. Love you lots <3

I really thought we were best friends but I guess only I saw us this way, now we don't even talk anymore and I'm not sure if we ever will

YOU ARE SO AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Every day the fact that I may have talked to you for the last time eats me, the worst part about watching you die is how badly I envy you for it. I do promise I won't forget you at least, for whatever that's even worth. Hope you can return the favor and that you aren't shutting me out because you forgot me that easily

Stop dating jail bait and fuck me already you retarded twink. I've been here forever and I know you're a bottom really. I could look after you. I just want to hold you every night. I just want to love you.
That's what I'd say to them

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>>37241505
>FUCK i missed thread title, it's supposed to be "lightning rod"
lol you're fine, friend.
it's surreal seeing the subject/prompt i gave a thread a week ago catch on, even if it's just from one person.
all i'd add is maybe the last to threads (that i know of)
>>37137668
>>37201393
and a blink-and-you-miss-it poll that was created over general-status which seems kinda moot now haha
https://strawpoll.com/GPgVYYOEBna

I don't think you can keep living this way anymore, you need to start changing your life for the better or you will really end up killing yourself. Though I don't think you'll really do it because of how well I know you but please start making some progress towards improving your life so I can rest a little easier

can we stop the stupid will-they-won't-they game already, i'm really really in love with you and i am *this* close to just telling you everything i've been holding back

i wish i wasn't so scared of losing you, no one else feels like home.

>>37241583
fuck off with your suffering olympics, I'm not discounting what you feel, but it's not a competition dumbass

>>37241502
I had a dream about you two nights ago. The second time I cried this year--the first in happiness--when I felt your imaginary embrace and saw your wonderful, literally dreamy, smile.
I'm pretty sure heaven is nothing but that--sitting next to those whom you loved in the past and feeling nothing but joy and happiness for seeing them.

YOUR SO FUCKING COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL WTF O_O OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>37241502
i'm sorry

i mean it this time, i really do

I know you want me to choke you and pin you and smack you around and spit in your mouth and say mean things to you while I fuck you, and believe me when I say I'm gonna have a lot of fun doing all of that and more >:) But you're also gonna get hugged and kissed and cuddled and petted way more than you bargained for, whether you like it or not. And you're gonna LIKE it, whether you like it or not.

>>37241502
Dear anon, you are a cute person, but your tulpa adiction situation It's ruining you.
Get a life coward.

>>37242462
I really like this one

>>37242452
i wish this was written about me :(

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>>37241502
I hope you got raped in prison you tranny chasing piece of shit. I hope your doomed children never have to see your face again. It won't be long before you're back in the system because you're a soulless addict that loves to beat mothers in front of their children. I hope you die an agonizing death when you finally end up ODing. Fucking faggot coward. I will always hate myself for not sticking a knife in your throat when I had the chance. It would have been worth ruining my life knowing you wouldn't hurt anyone else.

>>37242452
giwtwm

>me to the homies
I'm going to turn you into a girl and I'm going to make you my wife. It's only a matter of time.

NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NONNIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU; YOUR SWAG UNTOUCHABLE. YOUR FRAGS UNMATCHED. MEET ME IN HEAVEN, OK?

"prip the shnig oup u folp" is what i'd say but i'm too scared to say it

IM NOT AFAIRD >_< (I'm not afaird -_-)
TO TAKE A SATND >_< (To take a satnd -_-)
EVERYBDOY >_< (Everybody -_-)
C{>E TAKE MY HAND (Come take my hnad -_-)

i really like you and i wish I said something when we met up, but i was too scared. that was really the only good chance ill ever have. you probably dont like me back anyway, so im happy to just be your friend

salutations fuck nose it's me, brennan. Your friendly neighbourhood larcenist. It's time to hop the boarder and get married in Mexico. You're coming in the trunk.

>>37241502
I guess i might repost mine
Why is it called lightning rod?

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I really like you. I wish we could talk more than we already do. I wish I wasnt such a gross hon to where youd actually like me back to the level I like you. I wish youd take responsibility for helping make me a dyke >:(. I wish youd stop calling yourself a man youre an extremely cute girl and I desperately want you to see it. I wish youd be able to get away from your shitty awful family and I could get away from mine. I desperately want to feel your arms around me and mine around you. Thank you for letting me ramble about my hyper fixations and horribly flirt with you constantly. I want to help you with your cosplay stuff and get you out of your boymoder bubble. I want to travel with you, live with you, cuddle with you every night, but alas Im an insane ugly manmoder so its best I give up.

>>37242646
Never be happy with that. Go for the throat anon.

am i a narcissist if i read through these threads imagining that all the responses are written for me / searching for ones that feel applicable to me and people in my life?

>>37242674
but if its not mutual, ill never get thought of the same way again. i don't want to ruin the friendship. i just wish there'd be some way to say it without saying it.

>>37242694
I thought the same but apparently that's what we're all doing, lol

I really hope you haven't thought about me in years

>>37242710
Nah here's what you do. Become so insanely powerful. mog them completely. In all ways. And then be there for them when they're sad. But not all the time. Then eventually they'll start relying on you emotionally, get attached and eventually. You make the move.

>>37242739
im kind of a giga bottom, i can absolutely be emotionally supportive and always have been, but i dont have it in me to be dominant the way you're describing

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YOU HAVE TO FUCKING BELIEVE IN YOURSELF IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FIUCKING BELIEVE YOU ARE THE CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UR DOING GREAT

>>37242782
anon I mean dominant in life. Not in vibes. Just like. Actually win life harder than them.
Worst case scenario you just end up with a cooler life.
I tried this. Not sure if it's working but my life is insanely cool atm. Still hung up on them, progress kinda happening? Maybe I'm crazy. But at least I'm vindicated by the fact I'm winning

>>37242864
Based, you're doing good

>>37242894
Good luck anon! It hurts having those feelings. Last few weeks the hurt has gone numb cause things have worked out so insanely well lately idek what to think or feel any more. I still wanna be hung up on them cause it feels safe and it feels like a furthe victory to achieve at this point. But yeah it's weird. The feelings have died down a little. The moment I look into their gay little eyes again (haven't seen them in weeks) I know it's game ove for me again tho hahaha

>>37242864
i dont want to be better. i put this person above me. all i want is to be with this person. my heart aches and i cry.

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YOU ARE SO MUCH LIKE SICKLY FISH BUT I WOULD STILL KISS YOU ON THE SICKLY LIPS..AND I HATE KISSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BURSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>37241502
It hurt when you left, but I'm so glad you did. My only regret for our relationship is that we ever met. You're a chaser, nothing more. I deserved better. Anyone would.

But I always do say things to peoples' faces, whether positive or negative.

You might actually have been right about me being evil. But I still hope you give me another chance one day. I'm sorry for acting like a child. Now I see that there isn't going to be anyone else like you. I wouldn't hurt you again.

>>37241502
I’m so tired. I’m sorry.
from: anon
To: the world…

i begged you to get out of my heart for months now but now i don’t think i can live without being able to at least talk to you without knowing you’re around
you were my first love in this horrible life and you taught me so much about myself and the things that you liked
most of all you taught me what love really was
you aren’t the nicest or the most patient but i know what my heart does when i think of you and it’s something it never did before
every song ever picture every “this is literally us” every sad scene in an anime makes me think of you
i know that when i see your face with your beautiful black hair and such a sad look my heart pounds and i feel like im going to explode even though i never thought i liked guys
it’s like seeing the truth about the universe and seeing something so right for the first time
you could say anything and i could listen to your voice forever
i thought i would just troon out just so you could just maybe look at me as a pale imitation of a woman but i think i just wanna be your bf
i would be happy being your bf even if it meant stopping e
i know i can never actually be with you or that we’ll never actually meet but im so lucky to have known you existed and talked to you and that you considered me a friend
i’ll probably never tell you unless i rope or something but consider this my confession lol
you’re everything that i wanted but most of all everything that i ever needed
i wanna see you again in the next life i think
ily so much ily more than you will ever know

>>37241502
I hate how we both fell into limerence for each other and you fell out of it before I did. I'm sorry for being such a weirdo over you after it was over, but I also can't believe after how much we obsessed over each other you left so suddenly and so quickly without a word. why you still dm me sometimes to vent about random stuff and expect me to be there for you as a friend after you know how much you hurt me.
I'll never get to be with you again but that's okay, I'm glad we didn't work
I just wish I could get closure on our whole relationship but you talk so little about anything now besides yourself and won't even reply to me when I respond to your dms, like a pointless 1 sided convo just to remind me of how much I wish we could talk things out again
god fuck

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>>37241502
I wish I could have an honest, sober conversation about us with you

Sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you. I feel like I am one of your toys. I feel like if you really knew me you would hate me.

So many times I told myself that I would stop answering your call, but then you always come up with some exciting things to do together. I think I'm a better person for knowing you, I think being around you stops me from growing as you love me too much let me go but not enough to hold on.

Youve kissed me than run away, told me you loved me then act like I was a creeper, said you wanted to take me home and then introduce me to your boring cis gf the next day.

I would love to clear the air with you but any conversation about emotions with you feels impossible

i unfriended you for a reason on discord
then blocked you when you kept sending me new friend requests
you then proceeded to message me on linkedin
so i blocked you there
you then started emailing me
so i blocked your email
and judging by your new email address, you still havent gotten the hint???
im tempted to tell gmail to bounce any email that contains your name at this point
thank fuck i never gave you my number

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>>37241502
You where traumatized by your ex manipulating you and cheating on you, but in turn you became just like her doing the same thing to others but why? Why would you go down that path? You traumatized me and others and you didn’t take any accountability whatsoever, you seem to think you did nothing wrong and act like your the victim regardless of the situation, where you like this even before your ex? I really hope not. The experience really messed me up, a part of me hates you for all of it but another part of me still really cares. I hope you can sort out your mental issues and learn to reflect and take accountability, i hope at least some of the you I knew was actually real and not just a messed up act. It’s very sad to know what you turned into. I hope you can be better and find peace it is not to late to change for the better, i know you can you just have to put in a lot of effort.

>>37244117
Sounds like this beta orbiter pos I came here to write to.

I LOVE U MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME GIMME A HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>37244161
It’s been so long anon. I don’t know if I remember how.

>>37241502

It should've been you. But if you can replace me, I can replace you.

>>37244284
same, anon, same

>>37241818
god this is so much me, who are you talking about!!! I could be in your situation while also being in the person you're talking about's shoes lmao

>>37244284
how how how how how how please god tell me how can i replace her she threw me away like a used tissue but i cant for the life of me get her out of my mind i cant form meaningful connections anymore shes always there why does she be the one who gets to be happy and move on and get everything she wanted why am i the one left dysfunctional and traumatized and unable to love anyone i just want her back

I didn't want it to end like that either and I'm sorry that my last message was me telling you to fuck off, I'm not really angry anymore and I hate it because now that I have rational hold of things, I realized how much I regret the things that I said

I'M TALKING TO YOU, BITCH! YOU COULD! YOU COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING! YOU WERE IN POWER! BUT WHAT YOU DID? NOTHING! BITCH!

>>37244586
Elaborate

>>37244642
We had a little talk that escalated into him calling me a creep, I hate being called a creep because it reminds me of when people lied about me and I ended up losing my friends so I got angry at him because of it and yeah

Godamn I want to post here SO BAD but I know she could see it and it’s a terrifying thought.

I love you girl, I want your hair to cover my eyes so I don’t have to see the sun. I will never feel for anyone like I have you, and that’s what I mourn, whether it’s love or not is another story. WWNBT

>>37244117
i kinda wanna hear the story behind this lmao

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>>37241502
you are so cool
you are so smart
you are so unique
you embrace your magic,
you are unashamed of who you are,
you embrace your height too- i wish i knew how to do that.
you are everything i want to be able to be..

i can't tell if i want to be like you, or if i want to be your friend, (or if i have a little crush?)
but i get so nervous and self aware of my own inadequacy the few times i've talked to you.
and then i also get so inspired and motivated. i want to self actualize like you!!

you seem so cool- i wish i reached out more, but every time i think of it i remind myself "no, i'm not enough yet"
...and then i will realize i also have idealized you a little too much.. you are filled with magic but you are also just some person i met online..

also i'm sorry i didn't learn the language... and i'm sorry i didn't read your story. i want to open it. go through.
but the rot keeps consuming me. i wish i didn't space out so much. i wish i could be more present to live the way i want and to grow.

... the idea of becoming someone like you one day- maybe in a couple years.. pushes me forward though..
I won't let the rot win, I will learn to embrace my magic too and to be happy in who i am.

honestly- just thank you for existing. ur so inspiring

Flirt with me on discord if you fancy me R

i miss you

>>37245649
Im going to pretend this is about me because my name starts with r

>>37245980
i don't
because you're always in my head

>>37244394
>who are you talking about!!!
My irl male cishet friend. We've known each other for 5 years
>while also being in the person you're talking about's shoes lmao
What do you mean?

>>37245621
This is honestly so cute, I hope it goes your way OP!

>>37242739
how 2 mog anon?

>>37246808
that doesn't work, they are just aware that they will get a beating if you dont play along in their psychosis, ive been stuck in an evil fucking trash individuals circle for the better part of a decade, he really does think i can stomach even humoring anything that has to do with him, but realistically, i just know im going to get a metaphorical beat down.

>>37245211
former coworker who started coming onto me last year when he found out im trans (i had left by this point, but we were keeping in touch)
i never would have guessed he was a chaser
ive said im not interested every time
we used to actually talk about stuff, now its just about how he wants to hit, that he totally still sees me as a woman (but wants me to be his little secret), asking for nudes, etc
so much for being friends -_- i hate blocking people but i cant stand this

I really love you so fucking much, honestly probably as much as my boyfriend.
But... i'm afraid of having sex with you, i'm afraid i won't like it as much as i should, i'm afraid it's going to hurt like a bitch, i'm afraid i'm going to leave some shit on your dick and my only option will be to jump out your fucking window, i'm afraid i'll try too hard while sucking you and i'll puke on your dick and i'll be so ashamed i will want to go back to my home immediately, i'm afraid you will find my body ugly somehow (even though you've already seen it multiple times), i'm afraid i will make some weird noises that you'll find disgusting.
I'm just afraid.
I'm sorry, i wish i could be a better and more confident person.

i’m just as vile as you are now, inside there had been hope but now all that is left is despair. and that’s fine, i think truly it’s what i deserved. and i hate that word deserved, it isn’t encompassing of the meaning that im trying to convey. it is what was meant to be, i see now that life is simply a coin tumbling through the air, some people are real, and some people are not. some people belong, and some do not. some people get to be normal, and the ones that aren’t belong where they are. in lonely fits i dream of what it would be like to still know you, to still be around. but i think that truly i had never been around. i have only ever been lonely, a shadow invisible behind the light you would see. but a shadow all the same. thank you for helping me find the truth of my existence, destined to live only in dreams of another life

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I hope you're happy you deserve everything and more I love you

>>37247401
aww, same.

>>37247401
is this the kitty chihuahua "wawa"

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>>37242864
fuck I try this and end up sapped by emotion vampires and bucket crabs, it is very telling how many people choose to wallow in misery instead of actually trying to escape it

>>37241502
hey putin please remove antisemtism law i beg u

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I wish you never stopped drunk driving, i can't imagine a way i'd rather die than violently and next to you <3 <3 <3

hold my dick while fucking me is straight, you're not gay just because of that

>>37241502
To the person i love:
I wish we had spent more time together. I regret not taking you up on the offer and walking you home. I wish our parents did not have so much influence on us and had let us be. I regret leaving you without saying goodbye, those day we so full of confusion and chaos and there was just not enough time. I regret saying those things and losing contact with you. You still, after so many years, haunt my dreams and waking thoughts. I wish you all the best - good health and fortune. I know that i have lost you, yet i still carry an ember of hope that one day we will find each other.

To the person i hate (i dont, but i never want to see or hear them again):
You have hurt me and you have maimed me. I live with that pain. I try to remember the bright moments of life with you - yet all it fades and the only memory remains of you standing over me and shouting "get up!". You wanted to live out your life and glories through me, i was to be the vessel and your shadow. It was not my choice to leave you - you never gave me one. I was your servant and had no agency - i was at your mercy. You took a gamble with my life, and lost. Blame only yourself for the misery that befell you. I dont want to hear your voice ever again, and if shall, i will not spare you even a glance - i will walk away from you, and nothing will stop me. I have forgiven you, for you were a victim too. Now fade away and be nothing more than an unpleasant memory.

>>37244137
I worry this could be about me

I wasted so much of my time trying to gain your favor and affection before I found out that you were using me to inflate your ego. Now everyone sees what kind of monster you really are after trying to sexually assault my friend. Die alone you fucking bitch.

I'm sorry for everything I did to deserve this hell, I'm a fucking schizophrenic autistic idiot and I should be dead. I just want to go to bed and dream forever, I don't like reality or the consequences of my actions. I'm a joke.

>>37243819
Same.
Please, let the resting begin.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE #1 CHAMPION

Yo goofball, stop ghosting me and dodging me irl. I already apologized. Let's get back to how things were before our fallout. It'll just keep getting awkward otherwise if we keep bumping each other at local shows.

>>37249865
Give a hint? Where are you from?

I hate that I still think about you, you stupid mexican fuck. I fucking WISH I could love you without feeling any sort of guilt or insecurity. I just wanted to be your equal but the fact that you’re way ahead of me fills me with indescribable rage.
I also hate you, stupid poser. I saw the way you acted towards them, oh the absolute SYCOPHANCY that you displayed fills me disgust. I get that you have no identity or have anything to call your own, but that is no fucking excuse for you to prance around wearing my and people’s skin, pretending to know what you’re talking about. despite that, I miss playing and talking with you both

>>37244137
is this jose lolllll sorry just curious

>>37241502
I'm so proud of you; you've changed a lot this past year, and I'm afraid of losing you. I wish we were still kids, and I'm scared that you might get tired or bored of me. I want to do everything I can to make you happy for as long as you're still with me.

Sorry i repped so hard that i completely ghosted you out of the blue...

Did you realize~
That you were a champion~!

>>37254903
Who?

>>37255327
Yes I did.
So I packed it up and brought it back to the crib.

I would have loved you exactly how you wanted to be loved, but your insecurity made you myopic to how well we could have fit together. I can't fix or save you, because you don't wanna be saved.

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>>37255908

>>37241502
why would you do that? why would you do something so horrible? what in your mind made you think it would be ok if you did? what the fuck dude?

>>37241502
Person 1
You aren't the person I love most at all that place goes to someone else that I'm talking to now - I think there was alot of miscommunication I didn't want sex I really just wanted a friend I'm not really good at communication and I wish it was easier to express that, you saw me at a very dark time of my life but I've grown somewhat as a person

Person 2
I feel like we have shared some of the most nitty gritty shit about our personal lives but not the basic shit and I think I showed some poor character that might have ruined trust but I still hope for some kind of happy ending for you for everything you've been through

Person 3
I love you but I don't know you enough I don't know how things will work out but I see maybe a possibility of a future we share many values

>>37256105
you can only have one champion at a time weasel

I really regret letting you get this close, for your own sake. I don’t think I deserve friends, and no one should have to deal with the constant mess that comes with being around me. I should know better by now—if there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that any good I bring into someone’s life is buried under a ton of negatives.

>>37256113
Didn't say I loved them all

>>37241502
when will you let me hit miu

i can't let go

>>37256772
Letting go is the best thing you can do

>>37256772
never let go

why do you keep saying scary things all of a sudden? you dont want me to make other friends cause you say theyre unsafe but then say that i also cant trust you. if you dont want me to be attached to you, why do you keep talking to me every day? why do you keep checking in on me and making sure im taking care of myself? youre really confusing me. all i wanted was a friend to talk to. what do you even want from me?

>>37241502
we keep flirting back and forth but i don't know if you would actually want me because of our past and because of what you've had to deal with lately but you mean so fucking much to me and i would love more than anything to just be together. i'm scared that if i don't say anything soon i'll lose my chance but i don't want to say something too soon after everything you just went through and overwhelm you

Your dumb as rocks but your swag is immaculate my friend

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>>37255968
I feel like this is directed at me, it HAS to be..

It would make my day to see you today, if not I can only hope you're keeping your head up and yearn for the next opportunity to cross paths. You are worth more than you think

i didn’t think i could ever let someone get this close to me again. i didn’t think anyone could be this close without abusing me. being a really fuckable kid messed with how i saw things and you helped me see that i can trust people, now. i’ve been so happy these past two days, it feels like i finally have a lifetime to look forward to. whoever you’re with, i hope you find yours. and remember, i loved you then, i love you now, and i’ll always love you!!!

HOW LUCKY CAN ONE GUY BE

I loved you since we were kids. I loved you the moment I saw you. It's my fault. I can say it's a product of the times, that we were just a little too early, born into a time and a rural community where our relationship would be unthinkable. I can make excuses, but they don't change the fact that I was the asshole.

But you didn't care. You accepted the fact that our relationship had to be quiet, that no one could know, simply because I wasn't strong enough, wasn't man enough to be who I truly am, and allow you to be who you truly are, together. You loved me, and you wanted me in whatever fashion I was comfortable being with you. As an acquaintance by day as we walked the halls, and as lovers, wrapped up in my comforter in my secluded basement bedroom.

But it was that day I regret most. You came to me for help. You were scared, you needed me. You didn't just need me to make them stop, you needed me to hold you, in front of everyone - to admit that we were so much more than two kids who grew up together, more than best friends. But I didn't. And you understood my fear and insane reaction to all of this...and you forgave me, undeservedly so.

And I see you now, happy with someone else. The joy I feel that you can finally be free and honest and open slightly outweighs the shattered remains of my heart. That should be me. I should have the courage to be your man.

But, alas, our choices defines us. I'm a better man because of you, and a good husband because of what you taught me.

I will always love you.

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I love you! I wait with anticipation for you to awake, my heart flutters as I sneak peeks at your face. Oh how I yearn to hear your voice, to feel your warmth..I know I shouldn't disturb your slumber, you're very busy after all, sleeping is difficult too, so difficult! I can sleep upside down but you need a very particular arrangement, bothersome I cannot wrap myself around you without frighting you, but now I am aware and I am content watching, hoping to meet your gaze. I just am so happy to be around you, I wish I could love you twice so you'd understand. I wish there was another me so she could express feelings in kind. I have languished and suffered, wallowed in enough pity for a life time, and you still dredgred me up from Despair. I would move Heaven and Earth for you, or try my bets at least I'm certainly not a strong as I once was. It is becoming harder to contain myself however, and I will let your head and get you some water methinks.

I'm in love with you. I'm obsessed with you, I can't stop thinking about you for more than 10 minutes. It hurts me like a physical pain when I don't talk to you enough. You understand me like nobody else has, ever, but I still know I'll never in my entire life be worth enough to ever be in any kind of romantic relationship with you. I'm a pooner and you're technically heterosexual and so am I and sure, maybe one day something could happen, but realistically I know you'll never ever experience the same level of attraction to me that I do, constantly, to you, and it hurts me in a way nothing ever has. Attraction in the way I'm attracted to you is revolutionary to me, because I've felt attraction in so many different ways but never every single one at once. But with you that's how it is and I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I do you but I don't think you'll ever love me. I'm generally relatively emotionless but I care about you and I love you so much it makes me want to kill myself. I just wish you looked at me, just for a second, like I look at you. I wish you wanted to touch me as badly as I want to touch you. I wish you loved me because without you and without your care everything seems incomplete. We're friends but that different love I have for you is at the back of my mind constantly. I don't know if I'll ever be happy without you.

>>37241502
dreamt about you two nights in a row. im so cooked. pls msg me
- S.

>>37258197
A shitty, self-destructive part of me wants you to hate me, too. It wants you to fucking despise me, wants you to want to kill me, wants you to hit me and choke me out only so I know you care about me at all. Only so I know you see me as having more significance to you than some weird mentally ill dyke. So I'm worth something more to you than some funny little guy you talk to occasionally. It hurts me so badly that you don't really care. That you never will

BIG BROTHER!! YOU ARE SO CRINGE!! BUT I WANT YOU TO MOLEST ME AGAIN ANYWAYS!! COME HOME SOON ^_^

limerence fucking sucks and isn't supposed to last this long

>>37241502
WTF LOCAL GAME SHOP OWNER, HOW CAN YOU BAN VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE FOR BEING TOO R-RATED BUT START STOCKING MORKBORG AND EAT THE REICH

>>37241502
I wish I could have wrung the answer out of you. All those little things you never told me about myself. All the little questions I never got to ask because you were always so sick. I took your journals and poured through them looking for the reasons for why things were and only found someone who as obsessed with everything but their own kid. It broke my heart and image of you and makes me regret every day that I felt the need to do that.
I wish I had made it in time. I drove 2 days hardly any rest to try to catch you in your final moments. Maybe something of your mind was still there as I came into the room? Your heart had only just stopped as I pulled into the parking lot. You held on as long as you could.
I wish I had told you that I still loved you last time we talked. I was so frustrated with there always being another issue or another thing to complain about. Nothing in your life was ever good and you were bleeding it onto my new family. But I didn't want my last words to you to be "Call me when you feel like talking like a normal person." I know it's not my fault that you weren't able to keep fighting, but it still stings.
I miss you, Mom.

>>37256105
Nasty whore

It's a shame we live so far away, that I was so far behind when we first met, can't express my feelings very well but I do love you, definitely as a friend but also as more and more. When we did shrooms at my place I got a vision of us tripping again in the future while we're old ladies instead of silly hippies

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>>37259173
it never goes away, it just jumps from person to person and leaves you constantly wondering why you aren't good enough

>>37260330
>it just jumps from person to person
maybe that's not what I have then, I still have it years and years later over not one but two people and I can't cope

i wish i could have given you what you needed. i regret, so much regret, the years i wasted. i should have ran to you, i should have given up this pointless comfort and thrown myself into your arms for the future we both wanted. i was so selfish, so cowardly, so lost to my own hedonism that i fooled myself into ignoring the signs you kept sending me. now ive really truly lost you, you've moved on, and of course im only seeing things clearly when its too late. i love you, i loved you, i will love you.

>>37241502
I don't think I ever got across just what you meant to me. I thought that was okay, since I thought we meant as much to each other, but I was mistaken. Now I'm glad I failed to convey it, how embarassing, to care so much more than I should have, more than you wanted me to.
When we first met it was even. We both seemed to feel it so fast, you were so loving, so understanding, so easy to understand in kind. It was like we'd grown up together. I thought then I loved you -- I still think I might, yet somehow that didn't worry me. You showed me how to want someone around for the rest of my life and not care how, not care what kind of relationship, just that it was you and you were there. Thank you for that.
But every time you went away, things were a little different when you came back, a little more distant. You told me so many times that if I'd just be patient things would go back to normal. I wish I'd kept believing you. I wish I'd not gotten hurt, forgotten why I'd been willing to wait, gotten mad at you. If I hadn't lost my cool, maybe we'd be back to normal now. Instead, I'll probably never hear from you again. I miss you. But I'm glad you probably won't see this too. You kept leaving for a reason, I see that now. I really hope you're happy and thriving

EVERY time it gets closer to satueday i get more and more anxious and stressed but if i show it and have a bpd attack my friends will be annoyed and dump meEEEEE AAAAAAHHH

i wish i could just forget about you, and everything you represent. that whole explosive volatile period of my life. i wish i could forget how i felt when i held you in our shitty apartment, the gentle light of the moon illuminating our naked bodies. i wish i could forget how it felt when we kissed. maybe one day ill be able to. what i cant forget is the way you crumpled me up and threw me away. at my absolute lowest you abandoned me, your silence was and is deafening. im trying so hard to move on but i dont know if ill ever be able to. you have left me a broken person i have been trying again and again to mend. i have broken so many hearts in your wake and i will probably continue to. i hope i never see you again, and if i do, i hope you dont recognize me. because i sure as shit won't recognize you.

i wanna whisper sweet nothings into your ear while you sleep, i want to see you curl and shift in our bed, i need to get better for the both of us, i don’t want to leave you with something dead ;)

>>37241502
i hate you, -, with all of my heart. thank you for leaving me and running away just because your theyfab braim decided that i am not your fp anymore. i will stalk and talk to you for the rest of your life and i will witness many, many interesting things
die
in
agony
moron

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I should be with you still but you just could not stop accusing me of everything and anything

I hate you with every fiber of my being but I won’t ever forget the feeling of that tight boypussy bouncing on my dick.

your t-dick was so ticklish it made me laugh

wish you'd died on the operating table over a decade ago instead of haunting the family and extended distant family to the point we all try to ignore you exist
I genuinely hope you're dying in a gutter somewhere you narcissistic piece of human garbage
you killed your father with the stress of putting up with your continued existence and then made your step-mom and sister kick you out to save themselves
they hate you and never want to see you again
what do you do but come to the last person on earth who's life you still haven't ruined
now you ruin the last few years of mom's life with your whirlpool of endless drama and drug addiction and psychological abuse
it took years but you finally burned that bridge too
I wish more than anything that murder was legal so I could kill you myself with a metal bat
I would cave your skull in until nothing was left but red pulpy mush
the worst thing is that mom still thinks you're alive somewhere on the streets so she won't let me throw out the garbage you left here
the next time we move I'm going to "forget" to pack it
eat shit and die "big bro"

>>37258268
It's been a day, it'll be another day, and I still think about this and I still think about you and I'm probably going to keep posting on this fucking thread because there's nobody else I can talk to about my love for you. I wish I could tell you I love you every day, I wish I could kiss you like you deserve to be kissed. I wish I could make you the happiest woman alive and I wish I could make you forget about every problem you have, because you seem to have so fucking many. I want to make you want to eat, I want to make you see yourself as the fucking intelligent, beautiful, funny, interesting, cool person you always have been. You see yourself as dumb as shit and not capable of things, and I have to convince you to eat sometimes, and I can see that sometimes you're in pain and I wish I could help you make it better. You're so special to me. I wish I could help you see how special you are to me, and to your friends, and even to others because the pure fucking potential you have is unimaginable. If you loved yourself like I love you you would live such a great life and you would be confident and you would achieve so much but you hold yourself to the lowest standards and see yourself as the vile shit you will never be. I love you so much, please try to help yourself. Please try to love yourself more, because it hurts everyone including yourself that you don't think you're good enough. You are. I love you

i know you’re just scared of commitment, i know you’re afraid of being open, i can see the burn marks covering your skin, so why don’t you just come over?

I gave you literally everything. My time, my money, my love, and you took all of it, and you never gave anything in return. I'm sorry the only reality that exists is your own, but I hope you suffer. You broke me deeper than anyone's ever broken me before, and I hope you never experience a genuine connection for the rest of your filthy fucking life, which I know you won't, because you can't stop sucking your own gock and using everyone in your life long enough to build anything lasting. I hope you die.

>>37259173
how many years?

i feel my heartbeat now, all of the time. i hope one day you’ll make my heart pound and flutter and do more wild things it has never done before

>>37267323
Yeah fuck that stupid whore

>>37260600
How common are my horrible experiences?
>>37259173
Give it time

i hate you now. i unwisely let you back in my life after you demeaned me and treated me like shit multiple times over two years. everyone thinks you're a angel, but behind that rictus grin lays a evil, mentally abusive, shitty person. i know the real you. it took less than a day of us talking for you to lay into me, accusing me of things ive never said or done out of nowhere
youre pretty on the outside, but ugly inside
you need help, but you refuse to get it. i won't be around for you when you get your heart ripped out of your chest by your newest fp because she's married and won't cheat on her partner... keep on pining away for something you will never ever have because you're too damaged inside and will not get the help you need
you spout platitudes of love, but you will never truly know it for as long as you continue to treat people like shit. you will be a 30 year old neet virgin soon, and i pity you because it doesnt have to be that way
piss off, never ever contact me again. you are not wanted around these parts, and i will never miss you

You’ve seemingly left us like you’ve done many others before. I wanted to hope it wasn’t so, but I’ve lost that bit of optimism after almost three weeks now.
You didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t deserve to be yelled at, but she doesn’t deserve to be tortured like this either.. I’m left here to console her now every morning and every night and I feel like I’m not enough anymore..
I hope things go well for you and you find someone who can give you what you need.
see you around faucet.

I need to be passed around like a blunt by you and your friends

>>37241502
when i was with you i felt such an intense happiness and sadness at the same time, nobody had ever treated me like the way you treated me, i felt seen by you, appreciated. and it all ended just as fast as it started. i understand how unfair it was to think your affection would save me, and i hurt you because of it. i have to learn to be lonely, i hope you have a good life

>>37241502
God I don't want to be a girl for a day I want to be a woman til I die. Homogonophobiz

I'll tear you apart if I ever see you again you stupid mulatic waste of space Rot like the scum you are and don't crab bucket clean souls

>>37244117
My assumption is wrong here but I am going to help anyways by any means necessary I will reach you your daddy will not appreciate the confusion you caused us young misses when that drama comes to our doorstep. Fuck I made it worse. I mean from the heart if youd appreciate to listen to a solution if that's what your in need of just never seems there's any wholesome advice underneath this all. I'm scared too five foot ramps are tall and I do not know the first place to start about getting over anxiety do we rely on each other or so quickly are we to forget.

However long it takes you to think I think it's a curse to make people think coming from all unique corners of the earth. How do we open them up gently so I can not have a gender identity.

>>37260340
it varies for people, some remain limerant for years. Thank fuck I never got hung up THAT long, problem is I tend to only lose it when I find someone else I take interest in

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>>37241502
i miss you Javi, i dreamt about meeting you again after 10 years and i ran to hug you.
i wanted that hug to never stop

i miss you like you wouldn't believe

if we didn't meet in some Opus Dei school (catholic cultists) i would have stayed by your side against anything that stood against us.

you showed me what love is

i miss you

i love you

with love: Will

>dear god im a total fag...

I don’t even hate you, it must be a sad pitiful existence you lead to act how you act. If you stopped lying to others for half a second, maybe you could let someone in who could help you. It seems like being a child is in your dna, but please please please stop trying to fuck them. Passing on that cycle of pain is not the answer, you have to heal first and move on from the past. Leave the boulder behind and you can start again.

i love you, but god can you please actually try transitioning correctly instead of just putting on makeup and dresses? i get that youre nervous and all but for fucks sake i dont want you to turn out like a hon. youre 19, it is the perfect time to get on estrogen and start working on your body and i know you have access to the funds, why dont you just fucking start already? im scared youre going to get posted on a hon thread one of these days. PLEASE PUT IN SOME FUCKING EFFORT. YOU LOOK LIKE A FETISHIST.

you make me feel so happy S even tho u are prob just messing around i think. i rly want to talk to u more but i feel like i annoy u or ur uninterested in me as a person. even if i cant be with u i rly want to be friends and talk all the time i think ur rly cool and have great taste in everything :)

wish i could say this stuff to u next time we play something but im too awkward and shy. imy. i rly like u. this sucks. i wanna vc but so shy. fucking CUDDLE me so hard RIGHT NOW i NEED it. i dont wanna talk to any other guys but u. how did u manage to do this to me i literally dont care abt or like anyone else & never rly have. its like u put me under a spell WTF IS GOING ON. ur prob talking to other ppl rn :((

i wish we could be together and i know you think about that too but i'd rather prefer you being happy with her than being semisatisfied with me

>>37257616
this one is about me

hey j or n.a.t., you're a washed up troon with a shitty OF whos a pampered spoiled child. you'll never leave your parents house, though you're almost 30. you couldn't even hack a job at mcdonalds, your one and only job. it's pathetic, like you. hoping your parents give you the boot, but you'll just use the pity of others. glwt, you whore, no one cares about you here except the chasers, and even they moved on since you're a fucking train wreck mentally, and a child mentally
p/a will NEVER reciprocate your sad, pathetic crush, and I will laugh and laugh when news comes my way that you're on the grippy sock floor over a stupid crush
you're pathetic, get a job, wannabe slut. or just rot in your parent's basement, you BPD slag. you won't have my shoulder to lean on
love you! <3
may you eternally rot in your parents basement

Anytime I think of posting something here, I just text it straight to him instead :)

>>37275544
Need a girl like this

>>37241502
god I wish I never did what I did. I wish I could have you back. I hope someone treats you better than I did.

>>37275557
He's a gay bottom and I'm a cis male top and I shove my fingers in his mouth and make him slobber and whimper all over my hand while I cum inside his butt, so be careful what you wish for, lol

>>37272065
Chilean?

>>37241502
You're still all I think about. All day every day. I check in on you regularly and try not to read too far into some stuff but its hard not to imagine you aren't feeling similarly, and I've been able to read you absurdly well so far, but, you still won't talk. You wont say what you want. You wont put the effort in even to just stay friends. You admitted you dont like feeling like you cant so everything yourself, but a part of maturing is recognizing and admitting when you do need help.
I met someone else. If I hadnt met you id have been so much more into her but we dont connect as effortlessly as I did with you. Shes way more put together than both of us and I get self concious too. But even aside from that, id be terrified of ever moving on only for you to come back and make me choose. I know you'd have a much harder time getting what you need than she would. Besides, shes not making the effort to say what she wants either.
Beyond all of this I'm also just worried it's doomed anyway. Everyone wants someone who'll echo how much they care and the effort they put in but I think I just am willing to do too much. And after all that happened I dont know what it would look like for you to 'make things right'. Feels like asking too much even if its things id do in a heartbeat. Still, a start would be for you to do... anything. I give people way too many chances. I got nothing else to look forward to, so I still wish you'd take advantage of that.

>>37273508
Lol i probably know who your talking about. I couldn’t really hate her too much despite how it harmed me, most of it is just sad. I don’t get it

why did you hate me? why couldn't you just tell me from the start?

my friend. I am so glad you're finally letting yourself become the you I know you've wanted to be for so long. I'm so glad you're still alive. I'm so glad you didn't let your abusive exes destroy you completely. I'm so glad you still sing like a bird and laugh like pig. I'm so glad your scruples are intact and your soul and your kindness and your empathy grows deeper and deeper every time we meet. I'm so happy you let your tiny malnourished frame soften and your appetite grow after all those years of starvation. I'm so glad you let me hold these feelings I have for you so loosely, and openly. I wish I could be yours but I'm just happy enough to be by your side knowing that the person your dating isn't tormenting you any more.
I'm so happy I get to hold you whenever I want and I'm so happy we still get to make overly ambitious things together. I'm so happy I can show you the entirety of me and be met with love. I wish I could just hold you every night. But just being your friend and letting me as deep into your soul as you do is more than enough. I know you don't let anyone else in this deep. I know that's why you want to keep me at a safe distance, and your lovers even more distant. I am your soulmate whether you like it or not. And I know you know it. I don't ever need to be with you. I can't wait to go to the woods together again. I'd love to hold your hand. But I'm happier knowing that I'm the only person you do this with. Who you indulge in the beauty of the world around you with. I love pointing out every single detail of the forest I can possibly notice with you. I love when we sit and listen to the rustling and all I can do is feel the love inside of me tearing me at the seams as I fight the urge to just wrap my arms around you and hold you until the sunlight fades and we have to head home. You are so special to me. I wonder how long this can go on.

thank you!!! i’m glad i can be here with you!!! i’m really glad i met you!!!

>>37275672
Peor, español

>>37241502
So, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Its okay when you said "oh look at me i am bisexual"? Are you even okay with your philia? But you cant live with the others knowing how mouch you wanted to have sex with another men? All of you it's an horrible creature full of lust, just like you discrebe womens, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE.

I miss you.

I'll show you that something that makes you:
Feel different
Feel special
I'll give you:
Thoughts
Images
Sounds
I'll give the you MY FUCKING LOVE AND ATTENTION
t. >>37277501

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Miss you F
That's basically it. I have no real attachment to life anymore, for good or bad. You killed the last living piece of me and I haven't known a sense of security or faith since, but I still love you. I guess that's it. See you later.

Sorry S. The future doesn't look good for either of us, we'll probably die soon. And that's ok.

>>37241502
i dont know how i feel about you.
i don’t remember those afternoons anymore but i remember enough. they used to be what kept me going, they were the reason i lived. no matter what i wanted to grow up, i wanted to be a person that could stand alongside you. its taken forever but im finally finding my balance again, anytime i think of you i feel sick. i try not to think of you, but to be honest being with you was the only time i ever felt that warmth. i don’t know if ill feel it again with someone who deserves it, i doubt it. i hate you. you took more from me than i could ever get back. and yet you’re probably the only reason i’m alive, without you i really would have no one, and i’d be dead. i finally have the words and understand to put you in the back of my head as another bad thing that happened to me.
i hope the guilt you carry is as crushing as mine.

>>37246089
I am sorry. I'm trying to control my thoughts.

Enjoy that I'm keeping quiet, enjoy that (according to you) "I'm not hurting you", enjoy continuing to post your cute orange apple, enjoy believing that it's yours and yours alone, enjoy as much as you want, it makes me happy to know that I have a lot of control over you just because one day you decided that you loved me.
t. >>37277501

>>37241502
you will die one day, and the people around you will breathe a sigh of relief

>>37277547
>I miss you.
The feeling's not mutual.

>>37266569
I won't see you for a bit and it drives me crazy knowing there's any time I won't be able to see you. I have exams but I know in my heart I won't be able to focus, I'll be thinking about you. That time you asked if I'd ever be into you keeps popping up in my mind, because it's laughable that you're asking that. That you, goddess that you are, wonder if a piece of shit like me would ever be interested. I know it was a joke, it seems like we only talk in jokes because I've never seen you experience an emotion and you've never seen me have one either. I love you and I wish you opened your soul to me like I so desperately want to open mine to you. It drives me fucking insane that you think I'm even on the same level as you, let alone better. It confuses me how you could ever possibly think I'm worth anything. You've seen me have my little autistic meltdowns, you even asked what I was feeling because you couldn't tell. Why did you even care? Why did you even look? I thought you were the kind of person that would look away and ignore me whenever anything got bad, but you're not. You care for me, too, even if it's not exactly the way I want. You see me as more human than any other girl I've ever loved, and I'm so fucking grateful to you. I would probably kill myself if you asked me to, and sometimes I wish you hated me enough to so I'd know you cared about me more than you do already. Even if it was the wrong type of care. I asked you if you would ever hurt me, and you looked at me like I was crazy, and said no, and am I a psycho for being disappointed? Is it wrong of me to want you to hurt me? I've never wanted this from anyone else, I want so many things from you but I can't decide which ones. It changes by the day. But maybe I could imagine that you loved me, if I tried? If I exaggerated those small moments where it seemed like you cared about me? Would it alleviate this? Would it make me happy? I don't even care, I love you.

you've always hit on me as a joke but I genuinely kinda like you, too bad we want really different things in life
I also want to be better next time we hang, it's why I've been distant

I would have liked some of these posts to have been yours, I miss your presence in my life, you leave a hole in my heart and i hate that

>>37241502
you ate a year of my life and now I get gray hairs
my doctor says it's from low b12 but I feel like its more to do with the stress of having encountered your ugly ass
I hope you burn every bridge you make until you are forced to reckon with how you are complete dog shit at being a human and learn to sincerely empathize with people

I want you to suffer unimaginable grueling character building pain that you come out a better person for

>>37280209
Real

It's so easy to erase words, right?

i want to skip down the sidewalk with you, hand in hand, laughing the whole while as we go

You’re a bedwetting little pussy bitchboy and I’m gonna rape your faggot ass

I'm just going to keep burning bridges and everything else until there's nothing left

nah, my deepest and most intense regrets are sticking around and ever giving anyone the benefit of the doubt for any reason or forgiving or believing them over anything, I wish I'd never met "you"

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you II hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you

>>37280999
good
fuck you, specifically, I fucking hate you

i wish you meant it when you apologized and said you wanted to be friends again

I will never be a burden to any of you or anyone ever again and fuck you for treating me like an underclass of human while lying to my face about it and blowing me off and not doing the things you said you wanted to or would with me for your real friends you actually wanted around and wanted to spend your time with you two faced sacks of shit we were never friends and you made that clear I fucking hate you and I will never have any friends in my life again because of the trauma of that and all the fucking lies

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck youfuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you you fuck you fuck you

I wish I had never met you, any of you, and I wish I had told you all to fuck off years and years and years ago for treating me like shit

I hate you so fucking much

I wish I had broken more things just to hurt you

I hope this ends up hurting you

seeing how much you’ve grown in the years i’ve known you, i’m so excited to see who you become!

i'm sorry i flipped out on you just because i felt insecure. i'm sorry i was an asshole to you because i thought that was the only way i could get your attention. i hope you can find a gf soon and be happy.

i wish i could hear your laugh again
i'm sorry i'm just a wrecking ball of negative emotions
i'm sorry for hurting you too when i wasnt even mad at you

>>37281047
also feeling this :(

In every men I still look for you

I should kms uwu

>>37281464
Please be real for the first time in your entire life. She isn’t going to fuck you. Fucking jackass shitting up a perfectly good thread.

>>37281464
>>37281310
Tfw she would never say this to me

Tfw I’m probably gonna dream about her again tonight

>>37281641
can't even fucking vent anonymously without you showing up to make me feel like shit. why did i even pay your electric bill

>>37281712
Not really anonymous venting when you start naming names buddy.

>>37280423
if only, anon

>>37281785
idk you figured out it's me and decided to talk shit like some fucking white knight guard dog so why not name names. you're mad because i blocked you?

>>37281863
No one’s mad when you leave. We get a lot more peace now that you’re gone.

>>37281904
is that why you constantly spam my phone when ur bored

i used to think that a heart could only be as big as the scars it could sustain, but you showed me that it can grow as big as you let it!! i love you, i love you, i love you!!!

I really hate being NC, I miss you but I know reaching out and getting silence will hurt more than this. I hope if/when I see you next I'm a better person, I wish I could be what you want/need from someone but I don't even expect you to remember me in time

just message me silly

>>37282422
i wish this was directed at me

you are all the fucking same and I will never take what anyone says at face value ever again because of you
fuck you

I hate you you ruined my life I wish I never met you in school you destroyed my ability to love like a normal person

when a bee lands on a flower, when a kid splashes a puddle, when hair is tussled by feathers blowing in the wind, when a corner building has graffiti, when a stop sign is in need, when two people walk by i think of you

I actually had a bit of a crush on you. I thought we connected but maybe you felt different about that. If I knew we wouldn’t be able to continue speaking I would’ve said something just to get it off my chest because you really are incredibly kind. Regardless, I hope you’re doing well and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to read for you.

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I'm sorry for gaslighting you. That smell wasn't the smell of over ripe papayas. It was me. I shit my pants in the produce section of whole foods.

i think about talking to you more than i talk to anybody that’s physically around me and i hope you can feel me trying hoping praying for blessings to find you

I'm sorry, i dont know what I did to deserve this hell, but please, please, please, I just wanna be normal. I want to be loved, and I want a hug and to be held and told everything's gonna be ok. I wanna wake up tonight and just be regular. I don't care what gender or sexuality or anything. I just don't wanna feel like a deeply unlovable creature anymore. I'll do anything just please, please, please help me.

>>37284295
Did I write this? Try to keep in mind it's easy to idealize a crush and their life

>>37282422
AAHHHHH pls be abt me u need to msg me first i'm too anxious it takes me a rly long time to feel like im not annoying someone

>>37241502
Even if you suffer form that condition I still want you in my cage

imy so much. i wish i had more confidence to msg u. i really wish i knew if u are being serious or not when u flirt w me. i'm coping by writing my thoughts here bc im too nervous to msg u again. why do u make me so nervous. like ffs nobody makes me nervous this is straight up alien to me. i've posted like 4 or 5 times in this thread. imysm :(

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>>37241502
fuck you ella day you conniving stupid selfish bitch. i had body dysmorphia that i only knew how to express through lewd art and admiration of larger women. i was sex repulsed and groomed into masturbation. i was not a creep or a lesbian chaser. i was literally a repressing lesbian for the longest time. the first time i saw hentai in high school i sobbed in tears because of how uncomfortable it made me. i was forced to repress by my religious upbringing. i had no outlet. no therapy. no little camp like your bulemic ass. i was not the little faggot twink boy toy you wanted me to be. i know what you did. the things you said. the seeds you sewed. i know you stalk me online. im not stupid. and i especially know that there was no excuse for you misgendering me on a CALLOUT POST TO MY FAMILY. lose the fucking nonbinary act and commit to being a conniving bitch or cut off your tits already. kys

I don't care if you think my tits are uncanny bitch

(cont.) you stupid glowie ass hoe

>>37288259
ur not them shes a fucking tumblrina snowflake

>>37288256
>groomed into masturbation
>repressed lesbian
>faggot twink boy toy
I don't even know how any of this works but yet I'm intrigued to know what a coherent take would reveal about this post

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>>37288795
eh? i mean wdy want me to say. i had a fucked up childhood

>>37282422
>>37283289
>>37287547
i can tell you if it was. second person probably no. too cutest

WHY THE FUCK WONT YOU TALK TO ME I MISS YOU i just want to see you and hang out again even if its just us all sitting on your bedroom floor

>>37288822
did you even reach out? did you even make an effort?

>>37288815
>i can tell you if it was
it probably wasn't tho

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>>37289151
what makes you say that dumbass

>>37288287
I'm the best of the best

>>37288815
>too cutest

what do u mean by this

>>37289201
>what makes you say that dumbass
because it literally wasn't directed at me. it's just wishful thinking on my end.

>>37289380
I meant to type too cutesy. must have auto corrected mb
>>37289408
that bad huh? I'm sure as hell directing it towards *someone* though. why couldn't it be you

>>37289463
>why couldn't it be you
because i'm a fucking idiot that everyone hates

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>>37289532
>because i'm a fucking idiot that everyone hates
sounds spot on to me

I could hold you if you wanted even. if you weren't so silly to never say how you feel

>>37289463
i rly wish ur who im thinking abt i literally can't msg him without getting nervous so i kind of just wait for him to msg me first :(

>>37289598
>sounds spot on to me
that could be literally anyone
yeah i'm not who you think i am i'm sure of it now i'm just being weird at this point

>>37289645
>yeah i'm not who you think i am i'm sure of it now i'm just being weird at this point
always so delicate. whats something specific to help mend your dumb heart then

>>37289674
>always so delicate. whats something specific to help mend your dumb heart then
this choice of words is odd and doesn't sound like who i'm thinking of

>>37289716
>this choice of words is odd and doesn't sound like who i'm thinking of
I guess I wouldn't say something like that out loud myself. over text tho yeah

well. thats a shame then I guess I'll keep looking for her

are you really happier with her?

>>37241502
I love you even though I know you don't feel the same way. Nobody has ever treated me the way you do. Part of me knows it's how you treat all your friends, but I can't help admiring your more for that.

>>37280086
I didn't see you all day today, but I was talking to a friend and now I know I really need to up my game. If you're ever going to be attracted to me, I need to grow the fuck up and stop whining about you while wallowing in my own self-hatred. I'm going to start cleaning myself up, start working out, start putting more effort into my appearance. I wish you knew it was all for you, and I doubt you ever will, but hey, it won't hurt anyone, will it? I want to be better for you, and god fucking damn it I'll try.

You say you're worth nothing, but I love you and would give up everything, my own happiness included, just to hear you say "I love you" with a smile on your face.

I wish you would just talk to me. Did you forget all the things you said? Were they just nice words? You were supposed to communicate.
Maybe it's on me. Why do I keep believing your promises? Have you ever even kept one to me? Your words are so sweet that I keep forgetting, maybe it's good you stopped pretending to care too, at least I can't fall for it again. Or so I say. But next time you reach out I'll think I was being silly or forget I even felt this way. I wish we hadn't met sometimes

>>37241502
>Leave an anonymous message for the person you love or hate the most

Can it be the same person?
Because fuck if I don't really hate that I love her so much sometimes.. :(

i don’t need you to talk to me, i love you so much, i just want to see you succeed :) ps sorry for being delusional, i thought we were talking here but i know you don’t post so i now know i was mistaken. love you still

Swallow your guilt and choke.

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>>37291570
>>Leave an anonymous message for the person you love or hate the most
>Can it be the same person?
>Because fuck if I don't really hate that I love her so much sometimes.. :(
the words in the original lightning rod op were 'hate/love' so yeah
>>37137668
also from that thread
>>37193150
>>37193232
i odietamo u </3

>>37260600
I hope you heal anon.
The person I liked kept pushing me off and lying about having no energy to go out but would take some friend near him to drive out when I believed he still wanted me close to him. Worst part is I told the truth at every turn and was punished for it.

>the words in the original lightning rod op were 'hate/love' so yeah

Oh good.. Idk I just feel like it's such a one sided relationship. And no matter how much I do or how much effort I put in it's never enough to make her happy.
I don't get a single day off work, I do the dishes, laundry, clean the house up, even cook when I can bring myself to do it. Otherwise we order door dash or whatever.

She works from home, gets at least two days off a week. Usually more and/or she only works a few hours before leaving work. And that's about it.

I try to take her out but she's never usually in the mood to go anywhere or do anything unless it's planned like a month ahead which is difficult bc of my job. Even if it's one of her off days and I suggest we go out to eat or go out and do anything for a few hours she doesn't want to. I've considered going to do things alone but that would just make both of us feel bad. It's been like this for half of our decade+ long relationship and I'm tired of trying but I can't give up.

>>37290620
I hope it helps you feel at ease

>>37291561
Who is this about? Online thing?

i want to marry you someday, seb

>>37281059
I hope this ones about me

i really miss you and i'm sorry i pushed you away

>>37257399
thank you <3

>>37292492
no you dont, youre a awful person, and i will resent you forever

>>37241502
I am fucked up.

I'm ashamed of the kind of person you are, leaving aside that you care about who you love, I just can't believe you're a responsible adult, I see you wasting your money like coal on fire, I see you making fun of others like a kid wishing the destruction of someone that you don't know expecting his death, do you really expect them not to take you as a joke ? You told me that you didn't want people to see you with me, that they don't relate to us, the feeling is mutual, that's why, because of the disgust you give me, that I've already left you aside, in silence.

I don't miss you and you're worse than I am, but you hide it so well.

FOLLLOW YOUR DREAMS YOU STUPID IDIOT
BELIEVE IN YOU MORE
I BELIEVE IN YOU
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>37241502
Every time I feel bad for you, I only remember how you treated me, everything you hide from me behind your lies.

Black matte. You were always my favorite choice I just wish they'd known you more before they chose. Keep your head up hero I know your out there every infinitely doing us in the dark this gives me actual strength pal God I hope I finish so we can hold hands together every infinity negative one.

even if you die, we're gonna make it

we might just
make it
after all
meow

these threads are beautiful. humans, yearning, longing, crying. we're alive, here. i love you, here, even though i forgot how to love. and i miss you. and i hate you. and im sorry. and let's be together forever. and love until the rain stops. lets whisper eachother nothings over the radio so it gets blasted into space forever and distant species pick up our desperation. i miss it all so. and it's all so silly, too. ive found love in my heart. have you?

i'm gonna start doing drugs again, probably drop out of school, ruin both of our lives OR i will kill myself in the coming year and ruin your life, which one is it gonna be retard

give me the drugs and fuck off kid. you sound so immature it's embarrassing

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Fuck you, I like u and u know that I do and I know u don't care that much about me anyway. We're so far apart anyway that it wouldn't even matter if you felt the same. I hate all of u stupid trannies and want to blow my brains out :3

just had the best dream of all time and it was about how we’d meet in a different life. you seemed so much happier and i was much more outgoing, we kept bumping together until i couldn’t help but ask and you said yes. elation doesn’t come close to how i felt. you give me hope for tomorrow’s possibilities. i love you.

i’ll never forget you, even when the dementia strips me of so much

there is enough power inside you to destroy the planet, so im still amazed every day that you haven't yet destroyed yourself.

nothing in this life scares me more than the thought of something happening to you. you're more precious to me than anyone or anything that's come before. you've supported me through some of my darkest times, and I've been lucky enough to be given the space to do the same for you. I'm happy we're together, and I'm happy we always will be, you really are my other half, and you'll never be able to understand just how much you changed my life. I know I still struggle, and I'm sure it worries you, but you are my rock, and having you here is enough to give me the strength to not allow it to consume me. I know you'll never see this, which makes it so much easier to spill everything even if I've told you already. I love you more than anything, my life has never felt how it does with you, and I can't wait to see where the rest of our lives take us.

you make this fight worth it.

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>>37241502
fuck you for abandoning me kay. even though i understand why you did it.

>>37241502
ive tried to love you but you make it so fucking hard and your bpd isn't an excuse to rip my heart out and tear it into pieces, you wonder why nobody wants to invite you around or sit near you or talk to you when you treat them like utter shit. When someone tries to love you you push them away, you abuse them mentally and physically. If you loved your friends and now ex partner you wouldn't constantly hurt them. I wish you were addicted to mdma again so you could actually show human love to me and care for me

>>37298491
"why do you hate me?" DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE HURT ME??? I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU ANYMORE BUT YOU CLING ON AS A FRIEND BUT STILL VERBALLY ABUSE ME, I CANT EVEN HOLD A CONVERSATION OR TALK ABOUT MY INTERESTS WITHOUT BEING CALLED AN INSULT, FOR THE STUFF YOU ENJOY TOO, YOURE NOT NONCHALANT EVERYBODY JUST HATES YOU

How did we get here? We were so in love.

>>37241502
I will show you better than I can tl you

I will never love again because of you. At least I know you never got to love anyone in the first place. I try to wish the best for everyone, no matter what they did to me, but you're a demon and I just hope you go back to hell you fat abusive piece of shit.

>>37267646
Life in the penitentiary

that caracal boi hasn't posted any good cats lately

Captcha: D0GPR

>>37298727
she not coming back lilbro

>>37288917
For real I got no one to look forward to. All the effort to grow and accomplish is a solo mission hard to admit I'm better off with a sex cyborg

>>37289201
Because I can control what's in cyborgs head not worry about emotions but still capture the love I need to hear and expertise my solo mission in the stand a line experience to end this gentrification

when you told me you loved me, my first thought was "oh no, i've tricked her into thinking i'm a person worthy of love". i feel so guilty for loving someone as wonderful as you. i can't help the feeling you might be better off with someone who can fulfill your needs better, a real man.

i will have to spend a lifetime paying off the debt that i owe you, and even then i’ll still be short

you shine so bright i have trouble falling asleep, your light reaches me even through closed eyes

you are worth a life to me too

i love you so much. i wish we can spend more time together but i know youre busy with school and work. it really flutters my heart and puts a big weight off my shoulders even with just a small text. im insecure and anxious alot but i am scared to tell you this because i dont want it to change your perception of me. im a little sad right now so idk what im writing. but i love you so so so so much and you make me feel so special like no one has ever did before. i love you beb thank you for being in my life. and thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me when no one ever did. im sorry i cant be so open with my feelings with you because its hard for me to crack this shell calloused by years of hurt. it makes it harder to open up when i know how much youve been through as well. regardless, you really are the love of my life and i hope we can love each other for many more years to come! thank you so much v! i love you!

>hate
Fuck you mods you killed one of the only good threads on this fucking shithole forum. I hope you step on a Lego every day for the rest of your life.

>>37302882
*huggggg

Per R da T
Vederti mangiato vivo dalla droga giorno dopo giorno ha consumato il mio cervello più di quanto è consumato il tuo adesso. Eri il pischello più intelligente che conoscevo ma ora sei un ritardato del cazzo e ringrazia che non ti vedo in giro perchè sei ridotto così male che se anche uno debole come me ti pesta ti fa male. Ti volevo bene amico mio

you don't think of me enough

it's one thing to know i'm probably not going to hear from you again before i die. it's very strange to know you won't care though. you probably won't even find out i've died when it happens. why did you disappear in the middle of me dying??? you know how few people i have. you're a heartless fucking bitch for that E
oh well. i should write you out of my will