>>37247867
welp that ended quickly

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>>37247867
>Anonymous user claims to be X

Yeah I'm sure that's him and not someone trolling.

>>37247888
he is not that important or known for someone to impersonate him and he posted in mtfg a few times before, when he returned with the 'cure' so it is believable

Repping is a lifestyle

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>>37247867
>>37247888
No it was me

See 37248034

I'll never be anything but a girl but I can never be a girl. It's like I can't exist.

>>37247906
I did have a genuine religious experience, I was wrong to encourage repression using the word

God showed me I was being cruel and cold on my heart. Now I'm going to get therapy for my internalised shame and transportation.

I'm going to be who the Lord made me, ever since I was a child and had that innocent thought of wishing to be a girl.

>>37248215
>transphobia

How am I supposed to escape this shithole country? Seems like the easiest way is to die

what am i meant to do until i die?

>be me, terribly fucked in the head or what this board would describe as "dysphoric."
>never really could grasp myself when looking in a mirror growing up.
>sit in the bottom of the shower rocking back and forth because I legitimately don't know what is going on and how I got to this point.
>ask Jesus to get rid of the demon inside of me (tranny thoughts). I've been an atheist for forever and still am.
>go to bed and completely separate myself from my body.

What did the internet do to me, and why are there so many copy pasta groomers on this board? Like, do yall get a kick out of feminizing people?

>>37249526
?

>>37249538
I'm in denial or I've mislead myself. Either way I can't handle my own thoughts and my reactions to them. I honestly cannot grasp why I want to be a woman and think it's all grooming/psyop.

>>37249538
Also, durian, stop telling people they are hawt when they obviously aren't. Mwa.

giwtwm

>>37249578
you are just a tranny, there is no psyop or grooming, accept it schizo (i am the voice in your head telling you this, this reply is not real, it is just a hallucination of yours)
post ass btw '_'

>>37249590
might be to me?
rarely tell people they're hot tho, mostly tell ppl i think they are cute
cute, pretty, or hot doesn't necessary mean passing btw

i dont know if im trans or just a cis agp going crazy from balding

>>37249609
not me but kinda is... perhaps i'm going schizo too

>>37249647
you have been schizo for a long time, you are hallucinating a lot and do not remember
do you want to move in with me?
ik that you don't. no one wants an ugly old masculine looking person like me :')

>>37249645
lol cis agp is a meme
you're trans and if you don't want to kill yourself later you need to get on finasteride now

>>37249645
agp is trans yo can be the girl just take hrt if you want to there is no reason to deny yourself anything as long as you are ok with the consequences.

>>37248215
I love you gokuposter. Im sorry the road has been so difficult, but things will get better. If you need any help just hop over to chasergen if im around i will answer any questions you have about transition ok :)

>>37249526
We share your pain and wish to help alleviate your suffering. Theres no ulterior motive. The pain is binding.

>>37249706
i already moved in with me tho
and i am a bad roommate
i have to admit keeps out of the way most of the time, but is a lazy bum

i'm so alone and so ugly

>>37249824
It's all up to you to see past it. Suicide is painless, but it leads to many changes.
Schizo thoughts go GO GO GO GO GO GO, STOP STOP STOP STOP. NO NO NO NO.

>>37249891
painless? i assure you hanging for instance is painful af, at the time and afterwards
*massages neck*

>>37249967
Anon what country are you located in? No I'm not trying to hunt you down..

>>37249988
sweden
you can hunt me down, idc
if you wish i can give you pointers how to dox me, lol

>>37250104
You need to get to America somehow, get some land and let off some steam in the woods.

>>37250154
instruct me how to let off steam?

i could get some land in sweden too...

i can't take hrt because by the time i have even the slimmest chance at passing (LMAO) i'll have wasted my best years boarded up in my house and not doing anything that i want to do
i'd rather be nearly constantly suicidal instead than that

>>37249645
ChristAnon here
I thought I was being possessed, going mad or being psy-opped by 5g or the vaccine has activated

I had become so arrogant to the point I though I really was a cis man now and my repression was invicible , then The Lord removed my indifference, it happener after i prayed to be given the strength to be kinder and more in line with the example in the word, the Lord restored my sorrow and showed that am without a doubt, a transwoman.

My dysphoria was so overwhelming over those 3 days I could barely keep my usually effortless act up at work home or with friends, every fibre of my being hurt, the dysphoria was psycho somatic, I couldn't breathe, my chest was tight
I cried for the first time in years, I wished for death

Only when I gave into the chastening of the Lord and admitted the truth and cast aside the lie, did it stop.

I had to admit to myself I have always wanted to be a woman, I,m going to get therapy, and I'm going to start estrogen and eventually live as my true self.

I feel safe and calm that this is what Christ wants for me this was my cross to bear.

>>37249748
In my hubris and arrogance, I boasted not of the Lord but my self, and I have been shown that the true cure was to overwhelm my repression and make me accept transition.

Friends, family, career. They will all know the truth I was hiding...

I think God loves us and wants to confess what we are

Women.

I want to lick a repressor...

>>37251096
still at it Crystalia?

>>37251267
Why?

>>37251306
it just seems like a fun thing to do, repressors in general seem so touch starved that a few kisses would make them crack immediately

>>37251267
i am NOT for licking ...

>>37251331
why would I transition because someone kissed me. i assume that's what you mean by crack

>>37251015
I feel the same way. I have failed to launch. I graduated high school at 19 and now I am 22. The whole time I was a shut in.

>>37251267
same...

like i'm asexual and old and ugly
but wish i could calm a repressor with a manly hug from someone that genuinely understand... or a lick... for me there's no real difference but i'm weird and autistic like that
no, to me it wouldn't be weird perverse or anythign

>>37251349
lol
you can make it with those stats!
just believe in yourself and strive for greatness!
not being condescending kidding or anything, you can do it

>>37251385
Have you ever seen her durian?

>look at the archives
>apparently both cure and inter are still alive thought inter turned to christianity as a cope to aid in repping
inter you better not be a tradcath, I simply cannot imagine you muttering prayer aloud in that absurdly cute gayvoice

>>37251349
same basically although im a year older
the funny thing is at the time i actually wanted to be a shut in and i told myself i had fully given up. but now i've started feeling awful and am freaking out about wasting all that time. im literally so fucking stupid and indecisive , i wish i could just kill myself .

>>37251015
>>37251349
I'm mtf and basically spent my years from 16-25 as a shut in NEET. I got on HRT, got married, am doing higher education stuff.

It's never too late. As someone who has been in your positions, I know what the hellish stasis feels like, but it IS escapable.

>>37251411
the one i replied to? nah
doesn't matter
haven't seen you either i believe? have a hard time differentiating anons after starting drinking but still...
post lewds on my discord? (sorry old habits)

>>37251432
case in point when i was studying at like 24 there were two (attractive) women in their early 50s in the same program... they both graduadet and got nice well paying work

>>37251432
wow!
I'm happy for you anon
this gives me a tiny bit of hope

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>>37251592

>>37247867
take ya pills, retahds

>>37252302
Make me
Please make me I'm too scared to do it myself

>>37252331
I can't, you have to do that part yourself

>>37248215
I prayed for years and years for God to take away my trans thoughts, to help me repress them, to heal me from my impurity blah blah blah
It was only when I stopped praying for God to solve my problem, and started praying for His guidance, that I realized He was calling me to transition all along, and the thoughts I tried to cast out were His will.
How lucky are we, that the Lord called us to share in His act of creation by becoming more ourselves?

>>37251772
yes i saw that before...
before you were born even...
now are you going to service my old, smelly, shrunken gock as the cute girl you are or do i have to replay that event at this time?
*COCKS revolver*

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Every time I see a supposed heighthon whining she actually has unmanly proportions.

It hurts so much to be alone in my suffering. The height + shoulders + large ribcage combo is to eliminate any chance of transition.

>>37252900
I've lost all hope.

>>37247867
as shocking as when the "anti-puppy" thread was really foreplay to a puppy-control loss erp

i just want to be a woman. this shit hurts so much. i can't tell anymore if repping is reducing my suffering or making it worse
when i'm in my death bed will i be happy that i wasted my life repping in misery? i doubt it more and more
i hate this shit so much. why is dysphoria even a thing? what a load of bullshit. i hate it. what a cruel joke
i have no hope of my life being happy as a repper and no hope of being happy as a tranny
sometimes i think i should just bide my time until both my parents die and then jump of a bridge shortly afterwards

bump

>>37253824
how old r u

i only ask cuz u sound rly young and even if ur not, go diy its very easy and u can rep on hrt

>>37256570
>u can rep on hrt
Different anon, but how hard is it to keep it a secret? I couldn't take it anymore and finally gave in and ordered diy the other day, so I'll be starting next week or something when it gets here.

>>37256694
just take it and do what you normally do

as long as people don’t find your meds it should be easy

>>37256694
nta but I quite honestly don't think it's possible past the 2~ year mark to hide that there is something different about you.

the most obvious thing is breast growth, depending on your genetics you might end up with D cups or something that would be agonizing to use a binder on. but even if you are on the smaller side (regardless of how big your ribcage is) even B cups will be obvious and make a dent in the thickest hoodie you can buy.

other changes are smaller and can be written off individually but when you start developing a nice butt and fat redistributes and your skin will, without makeup, some days look like you are almost glowing, well. it becomes obvious to other people.

even the gnarliest manmoder will probably get gendered F sometimes after enough years of e

>>37253824
ChristAnon here
I used to think lifelong repression was a virtuous and heroic act

That was born of arrogance, hubris and pride
I was being sinful against myself, even though I tried my best to do good as my male mask, the Lord saw me hurting one person daily.

Her. I am scared, sure, but I pray to God for courage and strength to be true to myself now, I was shown the true sorrow that my plans to repress for the rest of my lifetime would bring

The pain of a life unloved, a soul unexpressed, the pain of that broke my heart and was worse than the pain of transition.

I recant all transphobic and repression based preaching I said before.

Don't bring harm to others, even yourself.

Be kind, be humble, be honest.

I am still a Christian and turned to God to repress my lgbt tendencies, I thought that was the way.

The Lord is telling me its OK to be myself

i miss my repper bf so much bi want him to come back id even support him if she transitioned i just want somebodg who loves me again

>>37256738
unironi beautiful

>>37256731
I guess I'll just have to hope that I'm able to move out well before the time that any changes will become too obvious. I've been losing weight for a while, so I'm kind of hoping that any redistribution can be kind of hidden behind that. I think based on the women in my family that I won't have to deal with mega boobs, but they certainly don't look flat chested.

>>37256731
I was on hormones for several years and nobody ever called me on it. I have kinda large boobs but wear baggy dark clothes and am not around people very much anyway. My skin looked the same because I am a greasy freak and look like shit no matter what. So it's absolutely possible to perma manmode depending on your circumstances

Can HRT reppers post here?

>>37256826
Yeah I guess clothes should make a pretty big difference. If I lose enough weight, my clothes should be baggy enough to hide it pretty well. I don't know how my already scuffed facial hair will be affected, but leaving a bit of stubble would probably hide any skin changes as well.

>>37251417
I love God

Simple as'

>>37256879
I'm really glad you're doing okay, even if turning to God to repress is a bad idea imo.

the moment that you got hyper blushy about your voice after that rando voice call is still burnt into my long term memory as one of the funniest and cutest things I ever witnessed from here

giwtwm

>>37256879
>>37256989
wait are you going by ChristAnon these days?

>>37253824
I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.

>>37257149
life is a series of regrets and joys. we all make choices that can increase the proportion of these. choosing the right one can be hard.

>>37257173
I say when in doubt, do it. If you regret it, at least you have closure. When you regret not doing something? You’ll be wondering what if for the rest of your life.

>>37257044
No

>shave my head
>grow my beard out
>wear boots that add an extra 2 inches to my height

>>37256738
yeah, this gen has gone to shit
it's over

repping because i actually have no dysphoria i was just exposed to gay femboy porn and it warped me

Christ Anon here

Seeing this is for how they are, just went to the gym

Prayed again because I'm scared I sinned somehow and the holy spirit left me and unprotected against dysphoria

Cried for a bit, but felt renewed and optimistic, I will continue to follow the word, be kind to those who mistreat me, be generous and not envious or wrathful.

It is my cross to bear

Anyway. At the gym, saw a guy taller than me and much bigger facial planes and shoulders

I looked like a try hard lebsian on T at best...made me feel good.

I would always try be the strongest man and outmasc others, and now I wonder if the reality is just looked like a closeted overcompensating woman. Somehow people smell it, women think im gay and men know I'm weaker somehow, tired of pretending anyway

If I just relax and be myself I see my mannerisms and personality are feminine.
"One often meets their destiny on the road they take to avoid it"

God made me this way, who am to deny his design.

>>37257044
No ChristAnon is me, I had no other name nor was known by others

They will be other anons who follow God

Don't give a fuck who transitions. STILL repressing.

>>37256747
I still worry about being a heretic and if this is against God's will.

I prayed for 3 days suffering panic attacks
And crying at night unable to breath. All I could think about was "I wish I was a women, I wish I was a transwoman, I don't need to pass, I just need to be me...please let me know what I should do Lord. Please forgive me of my sins Lord Jesus Christ, is it ok to do this?"

When I opened my heart to hope, the pain stopped, I don't hate God nor do I blame him, it's a gift to transform me into a kinder, more authentic and warm human being, to myself and others...

To build others up, not destroy them. And certainly not to do that to myself.

My corporate career is woke so I don't have to worry about that.

But I internalised so much right wing transphobic commentary as a coping mechanism to reinforce.

So therapy is a must to remove toxic thoughts and unhealthy behavior
Prayer did help me love myself more ironically.

The Lord does work in mysterious ways.

>>37257824
I would just pray for you to be happy and content.

And be around those who love you for you. Be that repressor or transwoman.

God bless you Anon. You decide your life. You are in control.

>>37252984
I have not seen a single other poster in any of the measurement threads that are bigger than me. Even the few posters that are slightly taller than me still have much better frames.

>>37252984
proportions don't matter
i've got the classic kleinfelters build but i'll still never be able to pass because i'm taller than 80% of males

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-i can't look at my own reflection without crying
-I close my eyes every time I pass by a mirror
-Tranny thoughts are the only thing on my fucking mind
-i create a character inside my head with the name I want for myself
(She's happy and free)
-I turn off the lights while I shower so I don't see myself
-My hair is falling and I fucking cry thinking about that

I can't rep anymore
This shit it's killing me
My best friend started HRT this year and I'm here crying like a fucking bitch

>>37257270
that's what i do, but bro, what are you wearing high heels or what?
it makes you even more sus

>>37257902
Please talk to someone, confess to someone, hidden hearts need to speak

i'm faketrans because i'm not this level of dysfunctional

>>37257906
they're military boots

>>37257902
Boys dont cry bitch man up

>>37257911
basedjak
>>37258074
chadwojak

>>37257911
Thanks
I really needed this

I'm done gooning

>>37256731
factually incorrect but i admire your naive optimism

i've seen plenty of men with weird bodies from likely hormone disorders and never thought of any of them as feminine let alone female

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>when you realize passing is a myth
>When you realize there's better ways to deal with the fear of aging than transition
>When you realize hating your maleness is pointless as it is who you are

>>37258422
Why does is hurt so much. Why do I yearn anon?

I'm so tired of my heart being in a twist. Why can't I just love the things that are already in front of me??!
https://youtu.be/dnjs569Ba20?si=tjs9YgikIODya4U_

>>37258209
This is why I can't 100% trust anyone on this general.

>gf calls me beautiful boy
WHICH ONE IS IT?!

>>37258422
>When you realize there's better ways to deal with the fear of aging than transition
like what?

>>37247867
Gokubros...

i feel silly still thinking about this shit at 24.

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Which one of you was this?

>>37259238
you'll feel even more silly when you are 34

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>>37259238
I do too and I am 22. Why why why.

it's only gonna get worse, just take your pills

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>>37259420
How do I know your not lying to me in an effort to groom me. I think your bluffing and using fear to control people.....

>>37259457
lol whatever loser, I'm the crab that pulled itself out of the bucket then fell over the side and now I'm out here and shit still sucks and I'm on my back unable to move around right but I'm not in the fuckin bucket anymore

>>37259472
Change is scary anon, all I want is love.

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I will live as a man and I will die a man

>>37259508
yeah, it is

>>37259564
Endlessly I have been trying to conceptualize a way to get rid of the tranny thoughts.

>>37259661
they don't go away, ever, even if you transition (that does make them less painful and easier to deal with but it requires that you actually face and deal with them which is scary too)

>>37259105
dealing with the trauma that made you hate aging
accepting that aging is a part of life that HRT can't help you avoid.

>>37259716
Is it true that all of us are just afraid of aging?

>>37259754
It seems to be a running issue with trannies even FTM want to be twinks forever.

>>37259760
Well, I know I'm going to get old anon but that doesn't stop me from having these thoughts

>>37259760
Perhaps the innocence and bliss we experience as children latches onto us. This may be cute for a female but not for a male, we then internalize it as being feminine? Maybe I'm just dumb.

agp has ruined my life
people don't understand the knock on effect it has in other parts of your life.

>>37260091
What did it lead to anon? The sublime aspect of it is what has messed with my mind the most.

>>37259716
i mean.. aging is one thing, but getting bald really fucking sucked, im not sure im ever getting past that, i think im just fucked

>>37259716
>accepting that aging is a part of life that HRT can't help you avoid.
this is a healthy thing that doesn't mean you shouldn't take HRT too

>>37259754
everyone is afraid of aging, the difference is most people accept getting older whereas for us it means turning into our dad and thats suicide fuel

>>37256738

If this is real I'm so, so happy for you. In bocca al lupo.

>>37260434
I don't know what I want anymore anon. She will come back when I'm laying in bed Tonight. I'll cover up my hands with my sleeves, I will avoid looking at my male features and I will pretend to be her. I used to shave my legs and arms but I am too full of shame to do that anymore... I say pretend because I am a biological male and nothing but that.

>>37260434
She isn't real!

>>37249758
that sounds exactly like something a demon might say

>>37259238
>>37259393
i'm 29. it's pathetic
get on my level

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>>37260635

>>37257252
Well, cheers fren. I dunno if you still use discord or whatever but if you ever wanna talk...

Ugly man becoming an ugly woman isn't worth losing everything.

gonna spend my whole life shut in a dark room scared of the world and being percieved and its still better than being a hon and having my family hate me

>>37260635
Astute
Religious thinking is mind control. Your chains are self imposed by fear of what you do not understand. Tell me, what do you truly fear? Is it the demon, or what the demon may do to you?

Why are my eyes so uneven and asymmetrical? I'm almost convinced I have silent sinus syndrome but I don't even think surgery would fix it. I'm just an ugly ugly ugly ugly man wishing to be beautiful and loved.

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>>37261551
THE TRANNY PSYOP WILL NOT GET ME.
I WILL NOT TAKE THE TRANNY DRUGS

My rep journey

"I want to be a woman"

"I want to be a transwoman"

>>37259253
those /v/ threads are proof that this website curses you.

>>37261776
Anon. I can't hold my composure any longer. This website in conjunction with my trauma filled heart has cursed me. I dream night after night to be dead. To be reunited with "her."

>>37261727
Then why are you here, congregating with other dysphorics?

>>37261823
You have already died. The question now, is will you save her?

Is there anything better than repressors who go so far as to borderline become DID with an entire female persona living in their head? All it takes it a headpat or a quick kiss and they start shrieking about being 'possessed' or how they're going to 'lose to her' while masturbating to the idea three hours later.

Christ Anon again
My experience is retrospect was God slapping me for being so cruel to myself. I was so wrong.

The passages referring to, such as 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, have been subjects of much debate and interpretation over the years. The term “effeminate” in this context is often translated from the Greek word “malakoi,” which has been interpreted in various ways, including “soft” or “luxurious” living, and not necessarily in the context of gender identity

Similarly, the term “sodomy” is often linked to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, but many scholars argue that the sin of Sodom was more about inhospitality and violence rather than consensual same-sex relationships

It’s important to recognize that translations and interpretations of ancient texts can be influenced by the cultural and political contexts in which they were made. Many modern theologians and scholars advocate for a more inclusive understanding of these scriptures, emphasizing the core Christian values of love, acceptance, and compassion.

>>37260439
I will still have my faith, it's helped me with a lot of things. Scary but I have eternal hope in me through Christ.

>>37261910
Its sad. Theres a real person in their head being held hostage by an enormous amount of internal and external pressure. They deserve a shot at life too.
>>37261913
Jesus was very clear that love is far more important than religious law. You are not loving yourself, and as such you are not loving Him

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I will never troon out, it's not even a possibility or something I struggle against anymore, it's not even an option
My family grows more homophobic and transphobic by the day, even my parents now complaining about the pride stuff, lgbt stuff, all the rapists and groomers that they see on the news even though I came out to them as bi years ago and they accepted it then
I am in my 30s and all the female friends I had at school have careers and husbands and children and houses
Meanwhile I am a lanky solitary man
I don't have to struggle against "oooh maybe I should take pills and grow small puffy tits!" type thoughts because I know it wouldn't change a thing, and that full on transition is impossible for me
Even if I abandoned everyone I knew and jumped feet first into tranny delusion, my country (UK) wouldnt even help me without a 10+ year waiting list before even getting a first meeting with a shrink

There is no longer struggle with my identity or should I do this or that
Now I only think of long term ways I can deal with existing in general
I have accepted what I am through simply having no other options

>>37261954
makes so much sense, I cried and asked Him what did wrong to lose the protection against dysphoria

Now I can use all that energy to be my true self, it's gonna be hard, and use all my effort.

But I will do it! All glory be to God, my Lord and Savior.

Just to be unapologetically myself, i have cried lots already, I cannot deny how I feel inside anymore, it's so cathartic and freeing.

Thank you Jesus for changing my heart.

He accepted me as I came, but loved me too much to leave me as I was...how I didn't even know my favourite quote would one day backfire on me.

"It's over Sam, it's done."

>>37262026
Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God

>>37262000
>I don't have to struggle against "oooh maybe I should take pills and grow small puffy tits!" type thoughts because I know it wouldn't change a thing, and that full on transition is impossible for me
And yet every day you think about the feeling, your mind conjures up phantom sensations. Parts of your brain fantasize about what it would be like, the ache as they finally grow.
>There is no longer struggle with my identity or should I do this or that
We both know that isn't true. You're here.

>>37262000
>10 year waiting list
just DIY, 100 euros can get you like a 3 year supply of injectible estrogen that is guaranteed to be pure and high quality

>>37262120
Nta, I want to be a woman so bad, boys don't want to be girls do they?

>>37262120
>>37262132
I don't really care about growing tits, they would change none of the bigger problems

>>37261888
>>37261910
One night while all of this was happening I felt my heart sink into nothingness. I have never felt something so destructive to my soul ever. I'd picture her helping me off myself in a corn field with the beautiful sky above us. I'm so messed up... I really do feel as if I was possessed....

>>37262203
as a general rule, no, men do not experience dysphoria and engage in increasingly elaborate copes and denial of self methods (i.e, some infamous posters in this thread) unless they are at least partly a girl already.

there is a brand of OCD where you have intrusive thoughts about being trans, but nobody here has that, that doesn't cause dysphoria.

i dont even know if i want to be a woman or not
if i had a solid answer i could at least find some solace in that.. but instead i keep second guessing every single aspect of myself over and over, i wonder if i have some type of schizophrenia where i just cant understand anything at all about myself , it's fucking horrible

>>37262226
you are less possessed and more the possessor. you are a fragmented series of desires and personality traits that in response to dysphoria and repression, adapted by walling off most of your desires, dreams, hopes and emotions into 'her'. i was never really a repressor before I transitioned, but I did talk over the years to some people like you, self-acceptance is always the first step towards ceasing to be some sort of husk of a person puppetting a body and becoming an emotional, sensible creature again

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>>37262263
The double thought is excruciating anon...

>>37262210
your bigger problems are all self imposed and primarily mental. physical aspects of the body truly matter less than you think, especially given manmoding is an option. what matters is your mind, and that is stuck in an eternal swamp of bleak hopelessness currently. your family sucks, your nation sucks, so you have chosen stasis, to lay down and rot.

it doesn't have to be like that though. there's a lot of other people in the UK going through shit and still continuing on their own paths. even from /lgbt/, shit, Robyn is from the UK and is maybe the most unironic actual force for good that this board has ever produced with her one woman war against the UK gov

>>37262272
it's like for every aspect of myself too
sometimes i think i dont even exist and am just a weird pointless feedback loop of sensations unable to form anything

>>37262329
Yeah you understand that the body stuff isn't a big deal overall, hence why hormones or not isn't going to change anything for me
I don't feel like I'm laying down to rot though, more like I'm accepting that there's issues that I can't do anything about right now and so I'm heading out into the world regardless to find what I want in life
People who are deaf or mute or missing limbs don't hide away in their rooms and obsess over if only they could fix this or that, so neither will I
What I want in life is a career I enjoy, a nice safe place of my own, and a loving partner to share it with
THOSE are achieveable, THOSE I can do something about
There's no point dwelling on how I wish I could have been made differently because I wasn't

>>37262555
beyond the physical, HRT has mental effects (and partly changes your neurochemistry). it generally makes certain things much better.

>What I want in life is a career I enjoy, a nice safe place of my own, and a loving partner to share it with
you can have those while transitioning

>>37262226
>>37262267

ChristAnon here

I felt this exact feeling...fuckkkkkkk

>>37262267
Thank you so so fucking much.
>>37263066
Sadness used to be have a sweetness to it, now all that's left is bitterness. Christanon, I really thought when I typed that out everyone would have called me batshit crazy. I'm glad I have all of you.

>>37263066
https://youtu.be/dKBmBQ-KOJI?si=OVrj0IMba61qPZ83

>>37261913
>>37262026
if you really are the same person/character/identity then you're still engaging in the same kind of self-justifying mental gymnastics as before, just for a different already-held conclusion - you should really try and learn to think (or maybe write your character) a bit more critically and free yourself to question things a bit more and peer more closely, even if only that you might understand your "God's" creation better and more completely

but isn't this just the same thing as the rolls royce -> crysyalia arc? I might have missed some episodes during those seasons

>>37256738
Of course a moron who believes in a magic zombie jew thinks he can become a woman. Don't worry, once you get over these fairytales being an adult atheist repper is always there for you.

would you like to talk a bit ChristAnon on discord (or are you permabanned there or something?)

i'm pretty sure if you're who I'm thinking you are we've talked on and off over the years.

Is it okay for a repressor to own a blahaj?

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Y'all really just need to get a life and get good. Peace.

>>37256731
Yea, no chance of me taking e alright, can't deal with the outcome when my parents find out.

>>37256738
>The Lord is telling me its OK to be myself
Twf god gave agp without the necessary suffering/self hate enough to push me to troon out. I never have cried myself to sleep because I'm not born a woman. I don't have any female alter ego living in my head. At most is that one morning I felt so disappointed, because how I really really REALLY wish I would have woken up a girl the night before. As long as I don't get myself obsessed over it, I'm doing just fine. Feels more like that god wants me to rep.

Also you talk almost like cure but then again I can't imagine him actually going to church

>>37264935
yes?

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>>37265545

>>37265811
what's your issue anon? panties in a bunch?

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TROON OUT YOU PIECES OF SHIT

What should I expect as a MtF?: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy
What should I expect as a FtM?: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
How do I know I have dysphoria?: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK577212/table/pediat_transgender.T.dsm5_criteria_for_g/
What to know to do it on my own?: https://diyhrt.wiki/
Where to buy homebrewed estrogen?: https://astrovials.com/product/estradiol-enanthate/
How do even I know homebrewed estrogen is safe?: https://transharmreduction.org/hrt-testing
Where to find other stuff?: https://hrtcafe.net/
Testosterone is more difficult to get a hold of because it is a very controlled substance, unlike estradiol. The difficulty will vary greatly depending on your geographical location. I'd pay a visit to the local gym and ask the gymbros there where they got their testosterone from.
For all else you can ask /hrtgen/ on the catalog, make a thread on /lgbt/ and post on /r/TransDIY on Reddit.
"I'm AGP. Am I valid? Should I troon? Yes, if you have dysphoria. Seek guidance on /r/askAGP. It is full of dysphoric AGPs such as yourself. Same for AAPs: /r/autoandrophilia.
"I'm a low quality male without dysphoria and AGP. Should I troon out?" Yes, definitely. If you are short, ugly, autistic and unfit for being socially male in general, no amount of self improvement will save you. Transition now if you seek a survival level of dignity and quality of life. You aren't fit for male social roles and will likely kill yourself if you don't transition because your life will be miserable as a man.
And most important of all: remember to denounce the Talmud and the Torah and all of their teachings. Jewish people are a plague that must be eradicated.

>>37265860
did you post this durian?

>>37265984
nah. never would

>>37251428
What made you not want to give up?
What did you want to do in those years if you didnt give up in teh first place

I don't even know why I want to transition I just have a weird feeling that I might at some point in the future. It's the ultimate brainworm.

i never wanted to be a woman honestly, i just wanted to be a twink, i never got it, and all this is just desperation because being a man that doesnt even want to be like a real man sucks

>>37257902
>when they ask why you don't like buying clothes
idk what tot say

>>37264758
I don't maintain a discord presence sorry, also it would out me as a insane repressor to my more normal discord trans friends

Send me a message saying "the shark has spoken" if its me you think I am, I'll respond "we need a bigger" boat

Sorry I'm shy, and ashamed of my past behavior being a idiot

>>37263772
You're right. That's why I'm going to therapy to remove these toxic thought patterns

>>37264067
Christianity was the last and best defence against dysphoria, I misinterpreted it.

The values it instilled in me still speak to my heart, to be kind to others, to not be envious or wrathful, to accept suffering and be humble, to turn the other cheek.

All things I'll need to use on my transition.

And it helps me never think of suicide as an option.

>>37247867
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO christfags on suicidewatch

>B-but why does god w-want me t-to troon out???
IDK DUDE MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ENORMOUS FUCKING FAGGOT LIKE THE REST OF US AND PRAYING YOUR NATURAL BIOLOGY AWAY WAS NEVER GOING TO WORK OUT

>>37251096

Aww I followed your posts on this board and I am very glad you saw the light. Just remember, it gets better. It will be hard in the beginning but eventually you will be so glad you made the choice to live as yourself. I can't express how happy your post makes me. Perhaps this God of yours is real after all.

Is life really just supposed to be painful and disappointing? I dont know if transitioning is a necessary thing or if feeling dysphoria justifies it. Some people are born without legs, a lot of people struggle their whole life and get nothing out of it. What makes me so special that I should think I can fix it all? Im tired

>>37268346
>Is life really just supposed to be painful and disappointing?
Yes. If you're happy you're doing it wrong.

>>37260220
Well nta, but I blame my 27yo lack of experience in dating on my agp

>>37258422
bruh

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Almost 30. The mere fact that I have US Size 13 shoes dissuaded me from ever attempting transition. 6'2" height wide torso narrow pelvis.

This is my first time posting on this board and it's making me realize I never had a chance to begin with. Even at age 18 I would've been too tall, too broad, too disproportionate. Even my baby face became typically masculine by the time I was a legal adult. My nose is too large, too. Now I'm in an occupation where taking pills or any sort of chronic medication is nearly impossible, so all hope is done for.

Deep down my mind is split between two thoughts: "This is the defining regret of my life" versus "I really shouldn't take gender expression so seriously."

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What drugs do you use to cope? I can't live like this anymore

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i've been spending some time alone in a nice hotel, i find the dysphoria always seems to come back when i'm alone with my thoughts. if i can distract myself enough, the dysphoria goes away a bit.

i still have daily tranny dreams where i'm her and i'm happy and wearing pretty clothes. then I wake up and i'm just this hollow husk of myself. when i'm alone like now, sometimes i do think i should just troon out and find a good therapist.

i just yearn for whatever she is to finally be free

>>37248215
>>37251096
>>37256738
>>37257830
*hug* i'm really proud and happy for you chistanon <3

it took me a while too that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a girl. i wish i had known that: that often in my life i was being exceptionally cruel to myself because other people had been cruel to me. I'm not religious but i'm happy god is giving you direction in your life and making you a better person.

>>37249526
>>37249578
desu i think very few people on this board are actually trying groom. ive been dysphoric for a long time and slowly i've come to understand this is how we're wired. i've seen gay reppers on christian forums say basically the same things that people say itt to cope with being gay.

>>37249645
i really hate the whole agp debate but i sort of wonder whether sexuality is the one aspect that is the most difficult to repress and thats why a lot of people still think they're cis & agp when they're just very heavily repressing their femininity and not really aware of it.

>>37256989
>the moment that you got hyper blushy about your voice after that rando voice call is still burnt into my long term memory as one of the funniest and cutest things I ever witnessed from here
awww that's so adorable wtf >:(((

>>37268936
dont do this, the least you can do is learn to love your pain, you've got 40+ years of it left to go most likely

>>37268346
>Some people are born without legs
I mean those people are still getting help and improvement aren't they? Like people without legs might have prosthetic and such and there's active research into improving disabled people. We're just unlucky enough to get the one where the solution kinda sucks and not convincing enough. Not trying to pinkpill you or anything, just that comparing ourselves with other disabled is kinda moot

>>37268992
The thought of what life I could've had if I had just been born right eats at me and every day I get closer to suicide, no medication or therapy ever worked. This is the last option

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Can a desire to be a girl be a misunderstanding of a schizoid desire to simply be beautiful/handsome? I don't really care for being a 'girl' but I like their shapes, and find my shapes to be ugly and against my aesthetic values.

>>37269244
are they? nothing will ever bring their legs back, the help and improvement they get is to help them cope with their reality, not to convince them they can be whole

>>37269272
I mean that's literally transitioning is it not? Nothing will ever make you a cis woman but transitioning will help you cope significantly with your reality.

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Hello friends, I'm back. I hate everything. I want to die.

>>37269317
>I'm back.
lmao same, I come back to these threads every few weeks like a bad ex

there's no escape

>>37269321
I've been here the last few days and the thread wasn't up. I was so lonely.

Is it weak or strong to be still alive instead of suicideing

>>37269272
You can do literally anything and some deranged retard on the Internet will try to explain to you how you're coping. They might not get their legs, but it still improves their life enough for them to get over it. Our case, not likely.

>>37269317
>>37269321
Think to myself how I should leave tttt again today. The thing is I don't know where else to go

What was once before you - an exciting, mysterious future - is now behind you. Lived; understood; disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone's experience. Every single one. The specifics hardly matter. Everyone's everyone. So you are Adele, Hazel, Claire, Olive. You are Ellen. All her meager sadnesses are yours; all her loneliness; the gray, straw-like hair; her red raw hands. It's yours. It is time for you to understand this.

As the people who adore you stop adoring you; as they die; as they move on; as you shed them; as you shed your beauty; your youth; as the world forgets you; as you recognize your transience; as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one; as you learn there is no-one watching you, and there never was, you think only about driving - not coming from any place; not arriving any place. Just driving, counting off time. Now you are here, at 7:43. Now you are here, at 7:44. Now you are...

Gone.

>>37269363
tb.h if people accepted being trans as a normal thing I imagine outcomes for people who lose limbs and get a prosthetic or something and people who transition would be extremely similar.

>>37269279
transitioning isnt the point, whether someone gets robot legs or just lives without them they still have to come to terms with the fact they will never be like other people, transitioning and repping hardly makes a difference, you will always be you, you cannot escape yourself

>>37260645
LOL same

>>37269361
depends on who you ask, doesn't it?

>>37269538
Ok then
As a repper am i weak or strong for not killing myself

>>37264935
its a fucking ikea plushie

>>37269553
strong i believe

>>37264935
no sorry

>>37269584
What if it makes me weak bc i am too wishy washy to hon out out and what if surviving is cowardice
Am I rly that strong if im just cowering in indecision

>>37262000
like yeah what would i do at such age

>>37265860
how to troon while remain capable of producing sperm

>>37270557
why would you risk spreading the tranny curse?

>>37265860
>TROON OUT YOU PIECES OF SHIT
fuck i read this as pisces of shit
astrology is dumb

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>ADHD
>Gender Dysphoria
>Broke because of medical debt
>had cancer
>Chemo brain
>family hates me
>32 years old
>have to take multiple drugs to function

ooh eee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang

But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled
Making Christmas cards with the mentally ill
I want to live and I want to love
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of

>>37269257
could be, could be
its pretty common for gays to try become that which theyre most attracted to, it's why you see so many people who look like they're dating their brother, or bears for bears, twinks for twinks etc

>>37268911
I'm 6'3, have the same shoe size, and have enormous shoulders and torso.

HRT still made me cuter, stopped disgusting male aging, and most people (even die hard trumpers) gender me female without 'the look' that lets you know they're hugboxxing.

I literally fucked the boy out of a repressor I """convinced""" (she really was more begging for help) to get on HRT.

>>37269257
I'm a handsome man and have wanted to be a girl for basically my entire life, so no, probably not.

>>37268936
Alcohol honestly works the best.

>>37268341
I prayed for 3 days when the dysphoria came back

It afflicted me like a smiting from heaven, it consumed my entire being and gave me no room to deny or rationalise away my dysphoria...my heartfelt desire to be a woman that I kept denying.

Providence...

>Paul’s conversion story is told three times in Acts: narrated first in chapter 9, and later recounted in chapters 22 and 26. Early in the book of Acts, Paul is a villain. He does not see Jesus as Lord, and strives to persecute the fledgling church. While on the road to Damascus to confront the Christians there, Paul is overcome by a flash of heavenly light. He hears the voice of the Lord crying out to him – “Saul, why do you persecute me?” Paul is blinded by this encounter with Jesus, and he is led by hand to Damascus where Christ instructs him to wait. Paul prays and fasts for three days. On the third day, Jesus appears to Ananias — one of the disciples Paul was coming to persecute — and sends him to greet Paul. Ananias, while initially fearful, finds the blinded Paul and greets him as a brother. Ananias lays his hands on Paul, and the apostle’s sight is restored as something like scales fall from his eyes. Paul is immediately baptized, and the church’s great enemy becomes her great advocate


Am I terrified of the fact I am certain to transition and going to have to tell my friends, family and work of this deep dark secret I've held inside for so long?

Yes.

Do I trust God's plan? Am I obedient to His clear and visible instruction?

Absolutely.

>>37268987
This was the hardest part and I still have to banish the thought that make me feel like a monster

All because I want to be a woman...I just want to be me.

God showed me a clear sign, many in fact, I would be a fool to not take it.

>>37272596
When did u start?

feeling sleepy, time for some bambi sleep i think x

>>37273161
"Trutrans" punching air rn.

Why has all my confidence died after repression broke

I was so sure of myself, I was the man, I was strong.

Now I feel like a monster, weak heartbroken and lost, unable to perform the mask

touch ma noodle

>>37272938
22

>>37275644
cum over

>>37272826
Saul of Tarsus corrupted the church from within. It is known that Peter did not like the man, and that the Epistle of Jude (Brother of James the Just, possibly of Jesus) is a counterpoint and outright attack on the Epistle to the Colossians, written by Saul of Tarsus. Jude is a friend, Saul is not.

Saul created Jesus the Golem, a fiction, for the nascent Judeo-Christian message. The actual disciples kept their distance from Saul, and did not care for his injections. Jesus the Golem is not Jesus the Nazarene.

>>37275699
I'm the same age, no hrt yet.

>been seeing therapists for gender issues since 2010
>genuinely don't know if I'm trans or just slightly fucked up / weird
>hitting early 30's and more fixated on it than ever
Idk how this story ends, current 'rapist thinks I'm an ""enby"" but self discovery at this age is universally cringe and a bad idea.

All of us are going to die here.

>>37273834
you have lost what was once a shield and now have to learn how to survive in a new strange world. it was never really a shield though.

>>37277236
I wasn't like this till I turned 21. So I just feel gross........

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Why can't I just be a beautiful woman.... I can't shake the guilt.

>>37277236
>been seeing therapists for gender issues since 2010
honestly, that long, i think you’re just trans. would be extremely weird if you weren’t.

ChristAnon here
Are they any Christian trans women
I want to stop repressing but I fear that this change in me is demons or parasites but I said would stop treating you as the enemy and treat you kindly because can no longer believe in my own cure

How do you reconcile being trans with scripture? Is it mistranslated and used for political means

I want to let go of hate in my heart, if I allowed myself to be who I want to be, I'd be a kinder, happier more gentle person and not angry, scared or wrathful and prideful like I was, I'm sure I'd feel sad and other difficult emotions too but that's part of it


One part of me fears demonic deception and then other knows I need to be de programmed and be kinder to all and accept a more loving faith to apply to myself and others. Is Christianity not based on love, compassion and kindness?

/pol/ and /x/ have their ideas but only you girls actually share and possibly understand the same feelings, despite out past, I can only relate to other reps and transwomen

So if you enlighten me, God bless.

Am I letting you down God? Lord Forgive me :(

Did i lose the cure because I read that one /HDG/ story
I just wanted to imagine for a short while, to be happy? Is that so wrong?

Did that one act lose me my protection? Is all of this and subsequent changing of my mind punishment?

>>37279814
>I read that one /HDG/ story
Cute lil floret... needs type G and A correction!

>>37279904
:(
I messed up
I'm a sub and I repress that too
Just wanted to feel loved and have someone else in control for once

>>37279788
Not rly religious but aren’t there tons of lgbt friendly churches that have concluded that lgbt people deserve kindness and compasssion with scripture?

idk reach out to some local lgbt friendly churches, there are dozens. and tons of christian trannies as well from my experience

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>>37279814

>>37280077
Thank you, I prayed again this morning about if it was OK for me to attempt transition

I internalised a lot of right wing stuff to repress, and thought lgbt church? Must be heresy.

But kindness and love for all is what it should be. No hate, no pride, no evil

I did feel a warm and reassuring love in my heart, I am going to try and work hard to reject toxic and negative thoughts born of hate, fear or pride (pride to refuse being rejected or made fun of)

I am a trans woman and I have to accept that, the world is going to hate me for that sometimes, I have to be a big girl and work through that, I can't keep hurting myself.

Demons cannot feel love, they cannot love or comfort. Only induce fear, anger or pride (all things I felt repressing)

God is Love, I am a woman. I am going to be who He made me wonderfully in my heart, she is a gift, I am her, I'm going to accept the gift of life and live honestly.

To transition would make me a happier, kinder more authentic person

Thank you Lord, I will free myself from this self-imposed prison

Amen

i want to put makeup on a repper and make her look really cute

I just finished this cute middle school lesbian coming of age book and it FUCKED me up bros. Why do I keep doing this to myself.

>>37279814
whoever first started posting HDG stuff here really set off an epidemic
the people on this board are too impressionable

>>37279814
What story?
>>37280462
What the hell is HDG?

>>37280692
>What the hell is HDG?
human domestication guide
https://readonlymind.com/@GlitchyRobo/HumanDomesticationGuide/

>>37280709
So a whole damn fanfic? What does it have anything to do with tttt? Why doesn't smth like house of dorley get a general?

>>37278651
>I wasn't like this till I turned 21. So I just feel gross........
i started to want hrt at 21 and only seriously considered it at 24
tocd is a hell of a thing

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>>37280735
>What does it have anything to do with tttt?
A good 99% of the MCs (and writers(and readers)) are le heckin kyoot blahaj owning transbians, plus most of the stories revolve around them being drugged out, transitioned and forced to do petplay / age regression stuff by a plant mommy.
> Why doesn't smth like house of dorley get a general?
There just isn't the population on this board to sustain one.
If you think otherwise then you can always make one and see how it does.

>>37280692
The one about the repressor a few threads back the character was called rep, I can't find it or remember the name because I had a breakdown at the end of what was written so far :(

>>37280775
>What does it have anything to do with tttt?
>A good 99% of the MCs (and writers(and readers)) are le heckin kyoot blahaj owning transbians, plus most of the stories revolve around them being drugged out, transitioned and forced to do petplay / age regression stuff by a plant mommy.
Ugh
>>37280836
Bruh

Found the story btw

>>37280953
>Found the story btw
post it please

>>37280994
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58781992/chapters/149814001?view_adult=true

Do I have to read hdg first to understand what's going on?

>>37281019
No, not really.
But you should read it, because it's a great story and does the body horror inherent in this the best imo.

>>37281019
>The broken, traumatised human trembled in the Affini’s arms as he said the words he had promised would remain unspoken forever:
>“I want to be a Woman.”
Same brother, same.

does a repgen discord exist?

>>37281311
They just get swarmed with closet trannies.

>>37281878
is that not the exact thing reppers are?

>>37281974
Closet trannies on hrt*

>>37280737
So me and you are not trans and just have tocd?!

>>37277236
Therapists don't do anything other than bilk you for money.

>>37283387
I keep hoping someone has an answer or piece to the puzzle that I somehow missed.

if you are woman you cna just stop repping and hrt and slowly girlmode
if you are a male there is no point. You dont feel dysphoria so why bother?just kys you braindead gooner

>>37284471
You will be completed through relationships with other people. Thinking about yourself leads you nowhere. There is no real you separate from the people you care about.

>>37284488
Are you projecting?

>>37284830
yes
I will never be a woman

>>37284843
Anon I know how it feels. I'm trying to accept myself as well.....
You are loved.

I feel so fucking stupid. I’ve never posted on this board before because I never thought of myself as anything but straight, until recently and embarrassingly late in life I realised these feelings I’ve had nearly as long as I can remember were feelings of dysphoria.
It was like I’d just shut everything out. I didn’t even know it was possible to do this. It sounds so stupid, how do you just ignore a lifetime of feelings and behaviour completely consistent with gender dysphoria?
Whenever I go back to thinking about this I feel so sad and a horrific kind of loneliness like I’ve never felt before. I don’t even know what I want. I know there’s no advice that will fix this. But I can never, ever say a word of this in the real world so typing to anonymous strangers is the best I can do.
I wish I could give you people a hug. I wish I could make you all feel better. I’m sorry to ramble on like this.

>>37285186
Take hormones, become real

>>37285128
ACCEPT MYSELF?
What is myself?
A MAN? A MAN?
HOW do you even begin to accept that I AS A MAN transitioned to the point of making people actually believe I can some day be female?
No this is insanity
I cannot accept it
There is nothing to do
I am loved and yet I am not touched or felt.

>>37284843
The brain worms unfortunately seem to be feasting on you while we speak. Stop hating yourself.

>>37285242
Anon. I'm going crazy just like you right now.....

>>37285265
INSANITY?
Nah this is nothing
Im good
My heart rate is normal
My cognition is manifest in the "nomral" way
I am perfectly ok
Just a man on hormones
Yes yes I dont belong on repgen yes yes WHATEVER BRO
I will DIE with my MALE FACE AND NAME on he tombstone and thats because thats me
That will always be me
I was not dysphoric. I have nothing to show for it
I have NOTHING but the deepest loneliness, a barrier that cannot be separated
no matter what, nobody will ever understand this about me
I can pretend better than oyu can fathom
but nobody will ever understand the real thing that kills me
So why even bother?

>>37285250
AHAHAHHA
HE
THINKS
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
There is no brainworms
Thats fancy speak for being IGNORANT
There is no self hate
Just
Self actualization

>>37279788
I plan to go on hrt. My cope is:
>dysphoria makes me miserable
>misery makes me sin more
>hrt is the thing that will make me act more in accordance with God's will
>>Matt. 5:29-32: If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Isn't this better?
>people take hormones (eg. post-menopausal women) for health reasons all the time
>God is caring, He would want me to have good physical AND mental health.
Mental and physical health are closely related.
>if trans surgeries are sinful or harmful, then all cosmetic surgeries are
>where do you draw the line at which cosmetic procedures are bad?
>are braces bad? should a burn victim avoid surgeries if not physically necessary? it will probably negatively impact them mentally. most aren't against this form of cosmetic surgery.
>is there a meaningful difference between cosmetic surgery and generally altering your appearance?
>are all body modifications bad? why? nobody cares about women getting their ears pierced.
>how much control are we allowed to have over our bodies? we style our hair however we want, shave body/facial hair as we please, etc.
>alternatives to dysphoria can be exercise and diet. especially for ftms.
>what's the difference between drastically changing your appearance via surgery/hrt vs slaving away for hours upon hours or restricting calorie intake/macros for the same desired result??
This can be complicated, I don't know how to feel tbhdesu. This only applies to medical transition, not social transition. I don't think social transition would be aligned with Christian values.
Here is the bit about eunuchs that trans Christians love:
>Matt. 19:12: "..there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."
Eunuchs who CHOSE to be eunuchs!

>>37280336
Anon you can't be lgbt and a christian... Its a sin, its been always understood that way...
I'm not saying to be hateful, or to somehow stop wanting to be a woman (I feel this every day, I feel insanely depressed about this), but we shouldn't give in to these temptations, or delusions, or whatever you want to call it... Yes it may feel easier to just accept it and want to try to transition and live the life we think we should have, but if God wanted us to be women, well, we'd be women...
I don't think its true demons can't give you happiness... I think that they can make you feel happy but at the end of the day this would cost us our souls... The prophets weren't happy, a lot of them were killed, Jesus was crucified... K think its reasonable for us to keep on persevering against all these feelings even though it may make us miserable... I know I want to die constantly, I have told God in prayer how much I hate my body and wished to just change, but I think that we must keep on going and that with enough faith we can maybe rise above this... But I'm still not sure exactly how, I am still really battling against this every day, but surely God knows what we go through and that we can prevail against this witb enougb faith and trust in him... Just don't give in like this anon, please... There must be another way
Please!
t. you know who from /x/

whatever you do, do not date men while repressing. my bf coaxed me being trans out of me, gaslit me into getting on hrt, and then 5 months in when i had started showing physical effects fucked me in front of a full floor length mirror while making me say out loud that I was a girl now.

men are fucking perverts

>>37287192
so you're not repping anymore

>>37287192
>my bf coaxed me being trans out of me, gaslit me into getting on hrt, and then 5 months in when i had started showing physical effects fucked me in front of a full floor length mirror while making me say out loud that I was a girl now.
god i need a boyfriend

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>>37287192

>>37287192
>being attractive enough to date

>>37285186
It’s called egg cracking

>>37287192
one of my fantasy is having a bf to pin me down and rail the shit out of me while i futilely try to wiggle out of his hands
despite being almost 3 years on hrt i still feel like im missing something, probably that

I just feel bad for my girlfriend
love her more than anything else in the world
but I think starting to date her was a bad idea, I still had a bit of hope back then
shit ain't getting better, I want to kill myself because I can't imagine living as a man for the rest of my life, but I know it would devastate her

>>37291488
>I think starting to date her was a bad idea
people told you you should date as a repressor
why didn't you listen?
>I want to kill myself because I can't imagine living as a man for the rest of my life, but I know it would devastate her
just break up you fucking moron, what's wrong with you?
THEN kys if you really wanna

>>37285227
Shit advice, repping is unironically the only way to go if you aren’t a youngshit. If you have a late life egg crack you either rep and push all that shit really deep down or you become a gigahon and rope. I mean come on, let’s be realistic here.

>>37286930
There are plenty of LGBT churches. God does not make mistakes. Man does, the Bible is translated from aramaic and ancient Greek

I gave all of my strength, all of my will, all of my resolve to repression

I exhausted every theory, every cope, every cure, every self improvement.

When I became religious and started praying I felt God's love, it was a wonderful thing to be introduced to, reminding me of when I was young.

I was able to push the dysphoria down for a bit longer, but it kept fighting to come back up, I began to hate more and more, rage more, despair more

Until it did not work, I was left with a choice, kill myself and in misery or despair.

Or choose life, life as the transwoman I so desperately tried to hide.

I did not come to that lightly, I suspected demonic influence, my own sin failing me, something I had done to lose Christ's protection and favor.

I suffered for 3 days, refusing to even entertain the idea, begging for protection and reprieve

But once Christ has you, He never let's you go, salvation cannot be lost once attained, I still believe in the sacrifice of Christ, that He is my Lord and Savior.

We are either sheep or goats, one cannot become the other.

The Lord was teaching me a lesson, to not fear, to not hate, even myself

I forgive those who traumatised me into a regressor, I forgive myself for wasting time.

Repression is a fools errand, I founded repgen on a sissyphus tier mission, to repress for life. I was wrong, i was foolish and hurting others.

But the boulder always rolls back down, and for those that reach the top, the boulder rolls down the other side of the hill and you realise all those years, all those efforts were wasted, because you spent them in fear, loathing and self hatred, all so you could live a lie, be someone you weren't

I will never repress again. I don't suggest you do, you need to be ready

Keep praying, let God show you and help you, speak and feel honestly.


It,ll be ok

>>37286678
Thank you Sister in Christ.

I feel so much lighter and calm now I've accepted I need to go on estrogen.

I want to be a nice, friendly person, not a miserable, fearful one.

It will be scary and hard at points, but it also have joy and happiness and it will be me

I think social transition is acceptable, the verse about cloaks was about modesty, male cloaks would reveal breasts on a woman, female cloaks would reveal Penis on a man, it meant don't dress in a way that reveals gentials

>>37291729
just so you know i intend to keep "repressing" because simply i belive this is a lie and i promise you that if i really thought this was without sin id be doing it, even now that im trying to rise above it i swear i still feel so much... regret? i have no idea what the feeling is, but i still think about what wouldve happened if i told my family about dysphoria when i was 10/11 whatever it was when i started feeling it, and i promise to you that if i had the opportunity and thought that it was blameless id try to just be a woman for the rest of my life and have a husband and start a family and be normal but i promise on my soul that this is sinful and if you or i go down this road it we'll just end up in hell, and this is not out of hate but out of honesty, there is just no way to reconcile the faith with these desires, you have to either change what the bible says to keep on doing this and i promise that if it was possible i wouldnt be trying to talk you out of this, because you are a christian and probably one of the only other person in this website that really understands and i really fucking hate seeing you go down this road that feels so fucking close to me, seeing you type all of this is like seeing myself maybe tomorrow or next week because i truly feel im just a hair away from just going down the sqme path but i know this is sinful please dont lose your soul to this anon... there must be really another way...

i have truly honestly spoken to god about this, my sadness over being born a man, the "resentment" i have for feeling that i will never have love or a normal life i really do want, i have told him about feeling like a failure all the time, i have.... but transitioning really can't be the answer anon... i'm trying not to think of it as repression but... i dont know... but i think god can really show us a path even if it takes years.... its so much more important to attain heaven than happiness anon, so please hang in there

>>37291854
maybe god just wants us to be alone for i don't fucking know, and, and and i dont fucking know i just know this cant be the way anon, and even if i did transition it just could never be "normal", just some... some sort of mockery of a woman, with no real future either... god just didn't have planned that for us...
>Keep praying, let God show you and help you, speak and feel honestly.
i pray for this every day
>I don't suggest you do, you need to be ready
i will continue denying this of myself but i just want to tell you that even though i dont know you and i know its silly but this is fucking affectkng me a lot... i forgot to tske off my name in the last post but qhatever

>>37291854
>>37291900
There's going to be a day, just like I experienced where your dysphoria is absolute and deniable

It hurt me so much it killed any chance of repressing again, I cannot feel that pain again

I saw a lifetime of regret and longing, lifetime of effort wasted for fear and self rejection

I pray you don't have to feel that. We cannot out feel, think or outgunned dysphoria

It wins regardless, because we have female brains trapped in male bodies, we can't fight that, it always gets out

I created a deified idealised male self to protect me, for many years it worked, he felt little pain, little fear and little emotions

But like any well made dam, cracks appear because it cannot be maintained l, when the flood breaks, all I was left with was a scared, heartbroken women that didn't get to be herself

https://youtube.com/shorts/Cvtvilxc5go?


I'm going to use that strength to become a strong confident authentic trans woman, I have to be me now.

There is no more possibilities, I cannot describe the heartbreak, its world shattering to feel

I was wrong, I renounce all repression and self hate, do not do what
I did

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What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.
BUT ENOUGH TALK
HAVE ESTROGEN

>>37292115
>We cannot out feel, think or outgunned dysphoria
i fucking know, i feel it dude, i also cant out think it, i try to come up with reasons to want to be a man every day and i fail, the only reason i am not going down that path is because i know its a sin, i know what its like to be that, i dream of being a woman, the first thought i have when i wake up is that i fucking hate my body listen i know my dysphoria is undeniable, i cant deny it, im just saying that jsut because its there and it feels like shit all the time does not mean we should give in to sin

this really cant be it god doesnt want us to destroy our bodies no matter how much we hate them, i dont know what the solution is but transitioning cant be it anon please reconsider

>I saw a lifetime of regret and longing, lifetime of effort wasted for fear and self rejection
what's a life of regret and longing compared to an eternity on heaven?
>It wins regardless, because we have female brains trapped in male bodies, we can't fight that, it always gets out
we can't just reject our bodies god gave us... Christ arose to heaven with his and we'll have our bodies in heaven as well...

>It hurt me so much it killed any chance of repressing again, I cannot feel that pain again
i understand it hurts and it feels like shit but its better to hurt and not lose your soul over this... surely it can pass

>>37292239
I will.

>>37292246
I thought that too once
Goodbye anon, this will be the last time I respond as Christians

I'll still be here as Anon, but I need to let go of toxic masks I once held

God bless you

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>spent all day writing fetish fanfiction yesterday

>>37292321
this is genuinely fucking devastating
god bless you too... please reconsier
ill try to persevere in this and maybe succeed
i guess ill be in /x/ or whatever
im really sad
ugh

Please don't ruin your life and make the mistake I commited.
Please reconsider, transitioning, if one can even call it that, will not help you.

reppity rep rep https://theravenscall.substack.com/p/a-call-for-uncompromising-intolerance

>>37292340
Whate r u fetishes

new
>>37292801

>>37292362
>>37292705
I did that once, it did not help me.

>>37292340
Share them