real. i gave myself GD at age 28 by browsing this site too much. i got over it with anti psychotics but i still feel pangs every once in a while

>>37297709
Take your pills alice

>>37297715
i did, and now i'm (mostly) over it.

>>37297715
This is a bad idea. The further you go down the harder it is to accept your maleness. And if you don’t pass you will *always* have that anguish.

>>37297723
If you're still dysphoric you will continue to be the rest of your life and it will get worse
HRT is the only way to get rid of it

I don't actually know about T-OCD, but I have P-OCD and oh my fucking god it sucks ass

>>37297736
>Accept your maleness
Copium of a repper. You aren't male. Pretending to be one when you want to be a woman is deeply pathetic and sad. Grow up

>>37297743
"Overcoming intrusive thoughts" saved me desu better than therapy

>>37297739
if I didn't have it till I was 28 and then only got it after smoking a bunch of drugs and browsing too much trans sites, its not legit anyway

>>37297752
I mean I’m not ‘repressing’ anything I’m on hormones. I just recognize that my desire is a form of OCD that the internet implanted in my brain. It’s impossible for me to go back now but I would’ve been better off if I didn’t stimulate my obsessive thoughts. I never had any gender-variant thoughts until I was 15. Nothing, not porn, not interests, and not behavior. I was completely male and proud of it.

>>37297790
Why does it matter if its legit? You want to not be a male right? So stop being one

>>37297696
>>37297709
lmfao i literally just made a thread about this
i gave myself fake dysphoria except i stopped hrt and spend every day of my life weighing the pros and cons of starting hrt again

>>37297800
>Why does it matter if its legit? You want to not be a male right? So stop being one
hrt is a lot more of a commitment than just getting a new haircut or smth
it just feels like something i have to be sure

>>37297800
I can't stop being male, it's what I was born with. Besides, a lot of my fantasies are being a femboy anyway. But sometimes yes I would prefer to be a cis female, but other times no

>>37297813
It really isn't, you can stop after three months if you decide its not for you
>>37297817
I would prefer to be a cis female you should take estrogen to be more like one. Do you really want to age into an ugly moid

>>37297858
>Do you really want to age into an ugly moid
I already am one so a little late for that

>>37297696
yep, 10 years of internet tranny exposure gave me gender dysphoria, i just liked being a fem twink and now im fucked

>>37297858
>It really isn't, you can stop after three months if you decide its not for you
i already did that. i took it for a few months then decided it's not for me
except years of dissociation later i broke down and got more hrt

>>37297867
Do you want to continue aging worse and worse or do want to reverse at least aprts of that damage?

>>37297877
HRT isn't a magical cure for aging, retard. You fucking trannies always pretend it dishonestly. This is why you people get called groomers.

>>37297873
Unfortunately at this point there’s no way back, your brain is too poisoned. After I first had tranny OCD thoughts I stopped interacting with anything tranny related for almost 2 years, in that period I mostly (but not entirely) got rid of the thoughts. The small part that remained brought me back here over time and then I trooned. I’m sorry but it’s over for us.

>>37297906
It literally prevents any further masculinization of your body. Unless you like balding and your skin getting more oily and greasy fgo ahead

>>37297985
Sorry for getting heated but that point in particular bothers me. I'm past 30 though, it ain't gonna prevent any aging for me I'm already masculine as it gets

>>37297696
i had TOCD for a few years, it went away when my OCD shifted to contamination fears
avoiding trans stuff is a temporary stop gap, accepting uncertainty is better
imaginal exposure helped a small amount i believe
i am happy as a guy again :)

>>37298020
No one continues the rep past 60. Do you really believe you'll pass better starting at 60 than 30?

>>37298082
No, I think my GD was a phase and it'll be 30 years in the past by I'm 60. Just another weird phase I went through when I was on too much drugs and had no life.

>>37298096
Hahahaha
It isn't, you're coping because youre too much a pussy to do something difficult

>>37298112
How am I coping? I didn't have it when I was younger, in fact back then I hated myself because I wasn't manlier and was behind the other boys developmentally which made me feel like shit

>>37298082
I mean this is just silly. People in repressive cultures who didn’t even know what trannies were repped for generations quite manageably. Or do you think your great-grandpa from 1820 was prancing around in a skirt

>>37298307
"To increase desires to an unbearable level whilst making the fulfillment of them more and more inaccessible: this was the single principle upon which Western society was based."

if only we were so lucky, we live in the worst of all possible societies, one where the social etiquette of the past still dominates but where society is liberal enough and communication is easy that we are tortured by unfulfillable desires that make our ordinary lives seem pitiful and a waste of our "potential", there is no tuning out. unless you want to go live in the woods like schizo ted k, for all the good that did him

>>37298307
No he took his rifle and offed himself
>>37298229
Because it doesn't go away and you have an easy solution you can take but refuse to

>>37297696
Same thing happened to me, I wanted to be male from the age of 10 onwards but it was more of a fluctuating desire back in the day and I didn't have anything close to dysphoria until I came here. Now I'm a half a year on testosterone and deeply depressed about how badly my transition has failed, except I still don't want to go back and the idea of having to stop testosterone terrifies me.

>>37297935
>After I first had tranny OCD thoughts I stopped interacting with anything tranny related for almost 2 years, in that period I mostly (but not entirely) got rid of the thoughts. The small part that remained brought me back here over time and then I trooned.
basically if i'm really stressed out at work i stop thinking about everything else but that's not healthy because work made me want to kill myself sometimes

>>37298112
>It isn't, you're coping because youre too much a pussy to do something difficult
not just difficult it's mostly the risk of burning my life to the ground by being a troon

>>37298466
Do you like the pathetic moid life you have? Maybe you deserve to remain dysphoric if thats all thats keeping you from transitioning

>>37298481
>Do you like the pathetic moid life you have?
well it's better than being homeless or hatecrimed

>Maybe you deserve to remain dysphoric if thats all thats keeping you from transitioning
maybe i guess. when i took hrt the first time i just wanted to hrt femboy or hrt twinkmaxx but somehow the thoughts of wanting to be a woman got mixed in somewhere there. but i also don't like using the words twink or femboy at my age

>>37298589
You've taken hrt before and stopped and are still dyphoric. You're pathetic, wallow in your dysphoria or grow up

>>37298373
>you have an easy solution you can take but refuse to
because HRT and transitioning is just so casual and easy, right? nevermind before you are retarded.

>>37298633
Yeah internet trannies can get extremely zealous about how HRT is a panacea or whatever it’s quite silly. I’d chock it up mostly to frustration that they didn’t start sooner because they think they would’ve passed if they started earlier (they probably wouldn’t have because puberty is significant even at 13)

>>37298633
DIY is easy and informed consent is in most western countries. You don't have to socially transition for a year or two once you start hormones (or at all), yet you refuse
Its pathetic and you deserve the continued self hate and dyphoria

>>37298663
true, and this is why they end up grooming young teenagers while thinking they're helping

>>37298670
a. my dysphoria is mostly gone
b. it's not easy to transition, you're just lying right now

>>37298670
Informed consent is not a thing in most countries that’s mainly a US/canada thing. What other countries are you referring to?

>>37298615
>You've taken hrt before and stopped and are still dyphoric.
i think the fake dysphoria came after i stopped
>You're pathetic, wallow in your dysphoria or grow up
the last mental breakdown was what got me to get hrt and look for apartments
i'm just waiting for my next mental breakdown to actually sign a lease and take it

>>37298670
>DIY is easy and informed consent is in most western countries.
depends on the state, i was legit when i got hrt cause i was living in a state with easy informed consent but if i try again i think diy is easier
and also i'm surrounded by conservatives and i'm pretty sure any endo or doc i go to is voting for trump

>>37298989
I thought it was a thing in Spain/Australia either way just DIY

>>37299108
You got dysphoria after you stopped? You're very silly if you don't think you're trans. Move away from your state and start hrt, even if youre afraid of girlmoding you can take hrt and pretend to be a man

Everyone in this conversation is wrong, theres no such thing as fake dysphoria and you cant just take hrt and have everything be all better. your identities have been fractured into a million pieces and you're desperately trying to put it all together and you will always fail because you are deluding yourself about the mess you are in and other people are only going to project their own worthless platitudes 'just take hrt lol xD' repress if you want, take hrt if you want, you will regret both. life is about coping and cobbling together a semblance of a liveable identity from the fractured pieces of glass inside you, nobody is 'trans' and nobody is 'trans ocd'. you are what you do, everything else is just a dream

You can't catch dysphoria like an STD lmao, the signs were always there you just choose to repress them

>>37299228
of course you can, dysphoria is an entire language, if you are never introduced to that language and those ways of thinking about yourself and how/what you could be then you wouldnt be hurt by it

>>37299245
This is like that argument that tribespeople who don't have a word for something can't conceptualize it at all. Dysphoric feelings are still dysphoric even if you don't have the words to express them

File: images-30.jpg (13 KB, 259x194)

13 KB JPG

Seriously, I never wanted to be a girl, but then I became a leftist at like 16 years old, and then all of a sudden, my OCD started telling me that, what if I am a girl, what if I actually do I want to be a woman? And then it spiralled out of control, where my OCD obsessions with becoming a woman, got more frequent, more intense, I literally developed an OCD obsession with transgender issues, and wanted to grow up as a hyper-masculine gigachad, xenogender defender, but Elon Musk was right about the woke mind virus, it infected my brain, and it literally did make me want to be a girl. Maybe progressives do actually turn you gay and trans, like, I swear I never felt this way about men, and becoming a sexy girl for them, before I wanted to be a masculine guy and fuck pussy, but, it's clearly OCD-related, because the way my dysphoria manifests, mirrors ocd themes on a structural level.

>>37299324
It used to be the case that I had an ocd-complex about touching people, because I was afraid that accidentally touching people meant that I was rapist, and deserved to die, so I'm clearly also escaping into fantasies about being a woman with my OCD, in order to distract from my fear of touching others sexually.

>>37299301
everyone experiences some kind of dysphoria, but it takes language to transform that thing into a pathology, when you know about trans culture and all the concepts that come with that you are introduced to a world of hurt that you might have avoided if you just didnt know about it. if you are a repressor and you cant or wont transition all these things can only hurt you when you would cope much better if you didnt have to see it and compare yourself to it

>>37299362
>Everyone experiences some kind of dysphoria
Anon...

>>37299149
>You got dysphoria after you stopped?
developed very slowly and it's just tocd. half the time i don't even want to be a woman i just want to be an hrt femboy, which is dumb given my age
>Move away from your state and start hrt,
i'd have to get another job across state lines, and the rent there probably exploded since i left.i had a good chance to transition and blew it. i was really, really dumb and i regret doing it
there's good job opportunities and decent tranny laws in the blue state i live i now, but i moved back in with my parents so i know everyone in my town
i've found a few apartments i like here. low crime, affordable, blue state. the only problem is knowing people who live in the area, and it's a bit chuddy
>even if youre afraid of girlmoding you can take hrt and pretend to be a man
that's what i was doing, i just still don't like the idea of the paperwork showing i'm a tranny. i still have to tell a doc

>>37299324
the only part about the woke mind virus that got me was that estrogen is a chemical i can put into my body and that imo it's not particularly different from rich men putting steroids into their body

>>37299399
So what if you want to be a femboy or woman, if you want hrt take hrt. Even if you messed up the only thing you can do is go forward

>>37299399
>half the time i don't even want to be a woman i just want to be an hrt femboy, which is dumb given my age
same bro, same. us oldshits are fucked man :/

You are allowed to take hrt again, you are not forever denied hrt because you tried it once and stopped

>>37299414
>if you want hrt take hrt.
but do i want it enough to try again in worse circumstances
i made a huge mistake by moving back home and i've been barely trying to recover since
>Even if you messed up the only thing you can do is go forward
it's so much harder now because i'm living in a less tranny friendly area surrounded by people i know
i had one chance to run away and i blew it

>>37299422
i think it's just peter pan syndrome

>>37299471
>You are allowed to take hrt again, you are not forever denied hrt because you tried it once and stopped
it gives me a lot less confidence about trying again though

>>37297696
I did the same but I found that if I jerk off it makes the thoughts go away for a while. Like right now I'm fine, I can think clearly, and I could actually consider lifting some weights. But if I go another day it will get bad again.

>>37300189
>i think it's just peter pan syndrome
Maybe. A lot of my thoughts often trend to "oh god I'm dying and getting old"

So the first thing to do if you suspect that you have trans OCD is to see a therapist who is experienced with treating OCD
If you can't afford that then take HRT and see how you feel
If you take HRT and after a few weeks you're still constantly worried whether you're actually cis you probably have trans OCD

>>37300632
>. A lot of my thoughts often trend to "oh god I'm dying and getting old"
yeah and i'm terrified of that but i also don't want to die young
i feel like i'm just wasting my life for no reason but what if transitioning is also wasting my life

>>37300650
>If you take HRT and after a few weeks you're still constantly worried whether you're actually cis you probably have trans OCD
i literally took hrt and came to the conclusion i'm cis and i'm still thinking about trying again

>>37300825
But how did you come to the conclusion that you were cis?
Because the typical OCD way would be to become swamped with doubts and fears which you'd constantly do reassurance seeking to cope with

>>37297696
>>37297709
>>37297723
This totally angers me
I did a similar thing. But why is done not done? I also experience the slipperiness. In the end what causes it is the existence of drugs, hrt
There is just no one who can steer this right.
If there is an interest I can explain.

>>37300925
I'm still around. Both the non-OP posts are mine

>>37300977
Ok. I did not take hormones. I did experience the slipperiness.
Even EVEN I
Especially If someone is young, they can't control it.
It's just another game, which is how it should be.
But why must some fall into it and not be happy?

If done right, after orgasm it should be done enough not having to begin drugs hrt and end up unhappy with it?
Or if people are young, and it's still too slippery for them, they would need people having more strength.

Just the fact someone says this may help. Yes or no?

>>37300996
>But why must some fall into it and not be happy?
I'm not particularly unhappy. At least not over this stuff. So I have that going for me at least

Do others here see you would need a specific group of people, or one person that is able to do it to help with the slipperiness?

>>37301049
Anyway in this, I do think some develop it further. I mean considering what it is.

>>37301029
>>37301074
I struggle to understand what you're saying, but I thank you for your feedback.

>>37301087
Do you mean my use of the word "done". In English it doesn't have the meaning "after orgasm".
But it is typically right to say it here.
Or what exactly is unclear?

>>37300878
>But how did you come to the conclusion that you were cis?
by taking hrt, realizing i'm not trans, and stopping hrt

>Because the typical OCD way would be to become swamped with doubts and fears which you'd constantly do reassurance seeking to cope with
is obsessively trying to convince myself to get back on hrt for the last few years not OCD?

I was posting about "slipperyness", "not taking hormones" and "a lack of steering"
I doubt professionals can help this.
Where would I have to be running into people who are about to make a choice they would regret?

>>37301212
Ok well I'm no doctor but that seems to be pretty definitive proof that you likely aren't trans
If you were trans, being on HRT would just cause a lot of anxiety and make you question whether you were cis
At most you might have a ultimatum moment 'well I'm sick of worrying about whether I'm not trans whilst taking HRT so I'll decide I'm not trans and stop HRT' but that doesn't seem to be what you're expressing
Instead the concern is the idea that you could be trans
Good luck and remember that OCD is a mental illness that destroys lives even if treated, not a quirky fact about yourself

I was on hrt years ago until my parents made me stop and I was weak enough to listen to them. I was happy when I was taking it but indifferent to breasts and I didn't want my penis to shrink. But now not even a day goes by where I don't think about what could have been if I stuck with it. I hate how my body's matured but I'm sure I just have a shitty life so I invented "dysphoria" to blame it on.

>>37297696
this happened to me too, i try to cope with it

>>37302709
Cope how?

>>37302506
You’re just a random tranny. TOCD doesn’t apply to you.

>>37297813
>i gave myself fake dysphoria except i stopped hrt and spend every day of my life weighing the pros and cons of starting hrt again
im in the exact same situation. this board caused it

i think i wont take it again but i think about it every day

>>37301342
>If you were trans, being on HRT would just cause a lot of anxiety and make you question whether you were cis
wouldn't it be the opposite? being on hrt as a tranny would make me less anxious?
>At most you might have a ultimatum moment 'well I'm sick of worrying about whether I'm not trans whilst taking HRT so I'll decide I'm not trans and stop HRT' but that doesn't seem to be what you're expressing
i did and then the next 4 years of my life are me thinking about hrt again

>>37305001
>i think i wont take it again but i think about it every day
i cycled between almost injecting just to get it over with again and having a panic attack over it

>>37305294
You'll feel better but for me the fear of 'what the fuck am I doing to my body I'm not trans' doesn't really go away. Still worth it tho

>>37301342
>Good luck and remember that OCD is a mental illness that destroys lives even if treated, not a quirky fact about yourself
can i get neetbux

>>37305294
Nah that's not how OCD works
Also don't waste 4 more years of your life, please get therapy
OCD is really serious and yet pop culture treats it like it's a punchline or a part of slapstick comedy

>>37305306
I felt this way for like 6 months but powered through
I’m still on HRT but it made me realize this really wasn’t ’meant to be’ so to speak, I’m fitting a misshapen jigsaw into a barely matching hole
But it works I suppose.

>>37297696
>If you have trans OCD tendencies completely stop browsing tranny spaces before the brain poison takes over and you start hating every inch of your body.
I have not interacted with trans spaces for years before trooning and it still got worse to the point that i either transitioned or killed myself. Hrt helped with my dysphoria though. Skill issue?

>>37305603
Wow crazy it’s almost like this thread isn’t about you?

>>37305306
will i feel better tho

>>37305361
>Also don't waste 4 more years of your life, please get therapy
can't i get therapy and hrt?

>>37305553
>I felt this way for like 6 months but powered through
yeah i wish i got past the half year milestone and just made it part of my life

>>37305617
Idk, take it and find out

>>37305614
Who the fuck is it about then are you stupid? It is advice for everyone reading it. Everyone reading it might find this advice doesn't work for them, including me. I am letting others know that this advice is shit and they should troon out.

>>37305656
You responded to the OP post sharing a specific tendency and experience by asserting that you don’t share that experience. Your reply is completely irrelevant to the thread and you seem to be genuinely unintelligent.

Op is inside of my head. I feel like I've purposely done this to myself, if I could get rid of these thoughts I would. I know this isn't about me, but I'm taking a break from the internet.

>>37305691
>sharing a specific tendency and experience
Citation needed
>asserting that you don’t share that experience. Your reply is completely irrelevant to the thread
My reply is relevant to the thread by virtue of me not sharing that experience which OP claims is the norm. I might just as well claim that my experience is the norm with zero proof. OP offered an anecdote veiled as objective truth and I offered a contrary anecdote. Please spare the gene pool from your faggotry.

>>37305628
>Idk, take it and find out
i literally did that lol

File: 1700562949247448.png (112 KB, 498x498)

112 KB PNG

>letter(s)

Bi Mtf Ireland

>about me

I really like videogames and certain tv shows and I'm really obsessed with a certain band currently, I also kinda like fashion too

>interests

autistic niche videogames, food, music

>favorite snack

prawn cocktail crisps

>looking for

Anyone in Ireland, really preferably nearer to the south, friends, partners, fwbs, whatever, hopefully we can meet up.

>not looking for

men, anyone not nearby, anyone older than 32.

>contact

lonelyaura22

>>37306035
Well, you're clearly still thinking about it. Maybe you should try again?

>>37305936
NTA but OP was talking about a specific thing that obviously doesn't apply to everyone. OP never claimed it was the norm

>>37305936
>citation needed
Yeah I was correct to dismiss you as a dimwit. You extrapolated something that did not exist because of your stupidity and outrage.
>overly verbose language right after I point out you’re stupid
Not only are you stupid, you’re transparently insecure and pathetic. Your reply added nothing to this thread except to boast about having dysphoria without OCD tendencies, which you consider an accomplishment for some reason. This thread isn’t for you, imbecile. Take the hint.

File: 1000019528.jpg (409 KB, 1079x1074)

409 KB JPG

>>37306344
the fact that you're retarded doesn't make normal words verbose

>>37306174
i've been thinking about it for years
i've just been sitting on some vials as well in case i finally have another mental breakdown and do it

>>37306395
Taking it or not taking it or taking it then stopping doesn't have to mean anything more or less than you want it to

>>37306388
It’s pretty obvious why you wrote that reply in such a retarded way that you know you don’t use normally.

>>37306477
>such a retarded way that you know you don’t use normally.
??

I feel like I only am like this because hrt exists in the first place, transtimelines makes me so hopeful but then so fucking sick. I am sick.

>>37307185
Yeah, timelines are fucking evil. So many people with mild cross-sex tendencies buy into the hype that timelines falsely perpetuate around HRT. After that it’s too late to turn back, they get destroyed by “what ifs”. People need to stop the fucking beard timelines where it hides their neoteny to pretend them shaving and revealing their soft features was a profound change HRT induced.

>>37307185
>>37308344
Guys you're scaring me do I do this or not?

>>37308430
I’m going to tell you this bluntly, if you don’t currently look at least feminine you aren’t going to pass. HRT doesn’t change the face at all, and its effects on the body are extremely mild.
If you are severely dysphoric about aging like a man (balding, hairiness, etc.) by all means do it, but do NOT expect HRT to make you pass because that’s not a thing that happens. You will be left resentful and disappointed if you buy into the meme that it does. HRT is there to prevent you from aging like a man, that’s it. If someone ever claims they passed on HRT alone, ask them to post a non bearded picture of their face before hormones.

>>37304553
I don't know. I have diagnosed OCD and I do worry that I'm convincing myself to ruin my (admittedly already pretty shitty) life. But then I read >>37301342 that describes me to a T. I did worry about whether or not I was cis and I guess societal and parental pressure gave me an excuse to stop. Maybe even now I'm seeking some sort of reassurance. Regardless I can't stop thinking about getting back on estrogen and that does lead me to believe it has something to do with my OCD.

I do fear I have done this to myself as well, but I don't know if it's truly T-OCD or me just having mental trauma from repping copes for so long. I've been on hrt for 11 months now and I do truly prefer the changes I've gotten and how I look now, but all I can think about is whether or not I got psyopped and if it's actually right for me. I mean it occupies my thoughts constantly, it's infuriating.

>>37308518
I'm not feminine, but I'm not overly manly either so I don't know. I'm short, at the very least, but I've also got a terrible friar's patch bald spot so it's probably over :(

>>37308518
I'm 5'7" 135 and 22. I've been called cute on various occasions. I. Just. Want. To. See. Her. Again. Simple as. This is a nightmare.

>>37308673
Then do it for yourself.

>>37309068
This fucking ship is lost again! I didn't ask anyone to make me a sick autogynephile. Https://youtu.be/cZsQhpO_9pc?si=Dx4s9BQfN8Hng5dX

But how can you actually tell if it’s gender dysphoria and not the normal body discomfort all autistic people have?

>>37309336
>normal body discomfort all autistic people have?
What are you referring to exactly? I’m slightly autistic and find everything relating to being a biological and sexed entity deeply disgusting but I’m not sure that’s normal autism

>>37308535
You could be 100% trans and also have TOCD

>>37310711
I've never heard of that before. It seems unreal and nightmarish but I figure I've been living it already. I have ocd, rogd, tocd and to top if all off I'll never be able to pass in my entire life. Why bother anymore lol.

Bump

>>37308545
Yeah.. “wtf am I doing to myself” is a recurring thought even a year in for me
But at least it’s more laughing at the absurdity and futility than feeling genuinely confused

>>37308562
if you’re dysphoric about being bald you should probably do it. don’t expect anything more than tiny breast growth and hair regrowth though it won’t make you look like a woman.

>>37306431
it just means i stopped when i had it easier (legit hrt, living on my own, with income) and now i'm older and have to convince myself diy is safe and for me

>>37316507
I think that's what it is for me too, but I always fall into the thought loop of feeling confused because of those initial wtf am I doing feelings

>>37317928
I wouldn't call it dysphoric to not want to go bald especially when I have such nice hair

>>37319074
You want to troon out
What other term do you want me to use

>>37306042

File: pomni-going-insane.webm (549 KB, 498x384)

549 KB WEBM

>>37297743
>I don't actually know about T-OCD, but I have P-OCD and oh my fucking god it sucks ass
Same. I think. My brain is occupied by this stuff like 8 hours a day. It's kind of hard to tell whether it's entirely intrusive anymore or if I'm just adapting to like it as a survival mechanism. Or if I was always this way. Haha. I think about disease and gore and slurs and genocide constantly too. I wish I had the willpower to die