>>37317055
>cis
>experience dysphoria
Liar. If you want to transition, then do it. If everyone hates you, then find better friends.
These messages come from different people, by the way.

>>37317069
i have repeatedly seen the same pattern in individual people both online and in my real life

>>37317088
Perhaps things suck, but they don't regret it.

>>37317118
i know 2 detrooners irl and most trannies i talk to do not seem happy at all
the real image of transgenderism that i see is not a happy one, i could be wrong but it's all i've ever seen

>>37317140
I'm happy. I have bad days, but things are overall pretty great! Who doesn't have bad days? Before I transitioned, I didn't even have good days.

>>37317140
it's dysphoria that hasn't been fully alleviated and the social pain of being out and trans. if we regretted transition itself we'd stop hrt. people here are unhappy with not being pretty and accepted and normal in society, they're not sad because of the E or the boobs

>>37317245
i do certainly have bad days but i also have a lot of good days also, i feel as if most of my lived experiences are pretty normal but i just so happen to also experience dysphoria
however when i perceive trannies, especially the ones i know personally, they've all only grown sadder and less connected since they transitioned and i'm all but certain that would happen to me

>>37317267
that may be true but the dysphoria i experience is very manageable as is and the introduction of substantial social rejection would probably massively reduce my quality of life

Transitioning is only good if you’re one of the lucky people who passes less than two years in. Otherwise, your odds are incredibly bleak. And even if you do pass, most passoids I know IRL are brainwormed retards who let themselves get destroyed by this site.

>>37317288
>>37317264
i'm retarded, this is for you actually!!

>>37317297
this reflects my sentiments, and i know i wouldn't pass

>>37317055
go ahead, continue to repress lol. dont come crying to us if you ever regret it

>>37317055
Cause it often sucks and it's really hard but most of us don't regret it

>>37317364
do you really not regret it? can i ask what makes it worth it?
i just don't get the point if you don't pass and everybody hates you, you're still a man except your life is worse

>>37317379
Everyone else may hate me (they don't, but I get it) but at least I hate myself less. Being a man is the whole problem lol, and you're not a man on E I don't care how much you may look like a hon

>>37317055
uhh we try not to put other people down, because unlike cissies we do have empathy towards people suffering from gender dysphoria? is that it?

>>37317391
i will say that that's certainly not how i'd see myself if i was on e, what makes you feel like not a man? especially if you were not to pass?
i just don't get the point

>>37317379
nta but
>being on testosterone feels like a constant tension, sex and working out only temporarily soothes it for maybe an hour. estrogen completely eliminates this tension altogether
>uncontrolled horny thoughts that make you feel disgusting and predatory are no longer present
>i always felt gross and sweaty all the time on testosterone. this is no longer an issue on E.
>holy hell does it make shaving body hair easier. i used to have to shave my entire body every day. now with 4 years hrt and at home laser, i only have to shave once a week or so
all of this is unrelated to passing and what people outwardly sees. i could list more but i hope you get my point

>>37317140
Imo I wouldn’t have transitioned if I knew what I knew now. Gender dysphoria was just an autistic obsession for me, obsessed on being something I could never be, it was a completely fake promise. I should have spent those years becoming my own person instead

I'm here to tell you not to transition and to be ignored because your confirmation bias demands it.

>>37317413
The lack of male aging is nice tho. I basically still look like an 18 year old boy at 25 now.

>>37317398
Idk not being one? It's hard to answer other than just saying like, well I'm not a man so end of discussion

>>37317430
This, I saw my poor grandma the other day in boymode and she was like "oh my handsome grandson! You look the same even though you're all grown up now!" Just you wait grandma

>>37317267
less connected - with you? with society? perhaps they were misunderstood and mistreated regularly, so they retreat from uncomfortable situations (both for them, and for the other parties which refuse to understand GD)?
like it wouldn't even have to be your fault, I've had one guy best friend from childhood who I've grown so much aprat with, but it's a bit sad, because he never mistreated me, but everyone else in my life did. somehow in a twisted way I cared about his opinion most, so i delayed telling him about me being trans until we drifted apart entirely, and it's entirely my fault. but it was also motivated by everyone else letting me down, so idk, I can't manage to force myself to go on with it just to be disappionted again
>>37317379
NTA, but it's worth it if you're trans, transition is like ultimate act of self love, sadly in spite of everything else. Cis people will always see you wrong, cis peolpe will also try to change your mind and plant seeds of doubt in your head, they'll even go as far as to lie to your face to keep you from transitioning and will offer "alternative solutions" like usually conversion therapy, but ofc no one will call it like that.
what makes it worth it is that there's no other way to address Gender Dysphoria, it just gets worse and worse and your chances at somewhat normal life smaller with every passing day of living as your assigned natal sex.
Like it's worth it and problem isn't transitioning, it's being universally misunderstood that hurts.

>>37317409
these don't really apply to me because i don't shave and instead just wallow, also a lot of the sex related stuff doesn't really apply to me because i got raped as a child so i think my view of sex is just fundamentally different
i kind get what you're trying to say but it just doesn't feel right to me, not ambiently feeling like a sweaty pervert creep would be nice i guess

>>37317413
>>37317420
i'm currently trying to make myself a better person through other means, i'm shaken on whether trooning is correct but it oftentimes feels like i've made substantially more progress through generally improving my life and wellbeing than any gender related attempts i've made

>>37317446
i don't mean to be rude or mean, i just don't understand how i could ever see myself like that when i wouldn't look or feel like a woman

>>37317451
one was closeted and two weren't, the closeted one and one of the out ones have since detrooned, they all rapidly became more overall reclusive and depressed, i can't exactly account for why because i don't know except one of the detrooners spoke a bit about how much it hurt him, i tried to be kind and supportive, and it hurt me a lot to see them like that
also on the topic of cis people spreading doubt, the primary people who've swayed my confidence have been trans people, i still don't understand how it actually helps if i don't pass or feel like a woman, people just talk vaguely that it's good and it fixes the problem whilst also saying that the problem doesn't really go away

>>37317484
You think you know, but you can't know how you'll look or feel until you just do it. You can't make yourself feel like a woman, eventually you just do

>>37317508
i only hesitate to concede that i can't know because of the trans people who've told me the exact opposite, i see a lot of doubt and uncertainty and i don't know if i could make myself do something so radical over something so cast in doubt
i really do try to keep an open mind on it, but it just seems to unclear

>>37317484
>i don't shave and instead just wallow
this would help with wallowing and you will find its best you no longer wallow
>not ambiently feeling like a sweaty pervert creep would be nice
hrt would do that

>>37317551
You are autistic. People are different so different people say different things but that makes you uncomfortable. You want everyone to be an autistic bot like you saying the exact same things so it's clear for you. Never transition pls.

>>37317551
Yeah, it is. Unfortunately nobody can tell you whether transition is right or not for you, it's a decision you have to make for yourself. I hope you can find happiness

>>37317579
i've put in varying degrees of effort to appear feminine throughout my life and sometimes i'd even say i've put in maximal effort, but it never helps
i guess i'm thinking about it, but i'm doubtful

>>37317585
the point i was making is that a subjective experience doesn't much assuage my discomfort unless someone can tell me a specific mechanism through which hrt made them feel better

>>37317613
thank you i appreciate you talking to me, i'll keep thinking
are you sure you can't say anything as to how you actually improve or feel better other than that you just do? i'm not trying to reject your experience or anything, just idk

>>37317627
Unironically seek therapy, trying to find a good one can suck harder than not doing it at all but it helps immensely if you do. I probably would have kept repressing for years. And to be clear, I still boymode most of the time, but that's okay. Baby steps are still steps

>>37317288
well don't transition if you don't want to. honestly that is always the only answer. the reason pinkpillers exist and push is that usually it's a cope. but like, the point of transition is just to reduce the stress this stuff imposes onto your life. if your dysphoria's mild don't ignore it still, but you can try therapy and find someone who'll help you work to reduce the feelings. you could take hrt but not transition transition. or you could also just transition (and, though this would incur some shame, if that made you unhappier you could always recloset).
i'm not here to tell you transition is the only way and you must pursue it. it made me happier. it didn't solve my other problems, so my life remains a work in progress, and frankly i started too late for my genes (which were also unfavorable to trooning) and will probably never fully pass, just mostly so. but E lifted the cloud that sank over my mind when T went up in puberty and let me be me internally again, it made me more comfortable with my body even if not ideally so, it's left marks of natural femaleness that would stay even if i detransitioned. it's stuff like that, for me.
now, maybe that's not worth it, that's for you to decide. but i'd encourage you to break it down into pieces, not some big all or nothing thing but just consider hrt, consider if you may want any surgeries, consider what it'd look like doing this stuff with or without the social transition. look at all the possible paths (still including management therapy ofc as well) and it'll be easier to make sure whatever steps forward you make are in your best interest

>>37317639
i've kinda sworn off therapy, my last two therapists were totally usesless and the first one i had when i was 15 told me being gay and wanting to be a woman weren't healthy thoughts that should be indulged and that i should try to think better thoughts instead, which hurt me

>>37317663
i'm deeply worried that i've already left it too late, do you really feel better though? even if you feel as if you don't pass? do the female body parts feel good to you, even if they're attached to an ostensibly male body? that would be interesting to me
i suppose i do need to think about it more holistically though, i tried some social/physical stuff like growing my hair, shaving my body and painting my nails but it really didn't work out, though i can't say whether due to something personal or due to social pressure, in either case i'd rather not try again, i don't want everybody to hate and be uncomfortable around me again

>>37317639
also, are there any other 'baby steps' you think would be valuable?

>>37317713
Sorry about your therapy experience, that's unfortunately pretty common. There's as many shitty therapists as there are people. If you can find a vocally pro-LGBT one you have a better chance of them not sucking. As for baby steps anything you think sounds easy enough to try, it'll be different for everyone. Mine was trying nail polish, I would take it right off before anyone could see but it made me happy

>>37317706
Don't transition you retarded future hons always cry about pinkpillers brainwashing you but like always this is just projection of what you want to happen so you can troon out at 30 and become ugly unacceptable hons after which you will of course go back to blaming pinkpillers for forcing you down this path. You will ignore trannies who tried to stop you from ruining your life and making ours harder, because that's uncomfortable for you. Why not skip all this and go straight to suicide.

>>37317745
one of them was prolgbt but i didn't find it valuable
i think i will try painting my nails and maybe shaving again though, i haven't since i was like 16
is there any overarching point i should be trying to pursue in doing it though? usually such things just make me feel kinda good then really bad very quickly

>>37317751
idk why you choose to be mean, i think people should be kind to one another

>>37317767
>idk why you choose to be mean
it's the truth.
idk why you choose to be retarded and pretend like every tranny is trying to force you to transition
no actually I know why, it's to take that awful feeling of personal responsibility off your shoulders.

>>37317767
No, there doesn't have to be a point. Just think about how you feel and why you feel that way. If you were gonna be dumped on an island alone for the rest of your life with a crate of HRT, would you want to take it?

>>37317776
>It's the truth
Cope, misery is comfortable but many of us grow out of it

>>37317786
How about you handle your transition without blaming others for it first and then lecture about misery huh

>>37317786
i guess i would, i suppose i worry more about the social element, like if i could never see myself or perceive myself i think it would be okay, but everything that surrounds transition in the real world would just wreck me, though i guess maybe that's not a very good reason to not do it

>>37317794
??? I'm doing this for me, sorry didn't mean to lecture you

>>37317813
You are helping OP to make yourself feel better. OP will try something then think stupid pinkpillers ruined my life again
lol

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>>37317055
this is correct. i detrooned after 1 year HRT because it was causing my psychosocial functioning to massively deteroriate and exacerbating my dysphoria which was uhhhhh not what was supposed to happen! there are many such cases but they don’t get talked about since they contradict the narrative about becoming your authentic self and thriving or whatever. i don’t really regret doing it but glad i made it out alive.

I gotta go but I'll leave you with this OP, whatever you do should be because it's what you want. It may take a really long time to figure out what that is but the journey is worth it wherever you end up, this stuff will not go away on its own

(1/2)
>>37317706
>sworn off therapy
ik this part wasn't at me but oof, sorry you had those experiences anon :(
maybe you could look into therapy tools and just teach them to yourself? stuff like cbt/dbt strategies, talking out uncertainties aloud (even if just to yourself or a stuffie or such), meditating, giving yourself mental health homework, you can apply all that without a counselor if that works better for you. if you don't wanna invest more time in hunting for a right therapist you can become your own! the tools remain useful. consider this a reading assignment lol
>do you really feel better though? even if you feel as if you don't pass?
categorically yes. i am very reflective and look back on my life often, and the only sliver of regret i have is that if i'd stayed a man i had a VERY promising (like, you might know my name promising) career that i tanked by becoming a hon and then semipasser. though even that i'm rebuilding in a new way now, so that regret diminishes with time. and that fantasy scenario is still like, one where i took hrt and just manmoded. i am nothing but grateful for the feminizing effects of hrt and the experiences i've had where i do get to forget about passing for a bit and just be a normal woman in this or that context. it's both lessened my discomfort and brought new peace.

>>37317055
i tell cis males that my transition has been a disaster for pity sex
i tell trannies to transition so they can at least get pity sex

(2/2)
>>37317706
>do the female body parts feel good to you, even if they're attached to an ostensibly male body
i guess i don't really experience it this way? at every point it's just been my body, that i had since birth. but T stopped deforming it and it slowly took a shape more amenable to me.
>3rd grade version
it's not female parts that took hold on my male body, it's that my male body became a maleish female body
>college version
over time, and you'll hear this from a lot of people long into transition, i came to terms much more with what i can and can't control in my transition for my body. hrt has sort of pushed me into a middle ground bodily sex, not male anymore, not all the way female, more of a synthetic intersexedness. and it's a common experience that we think "if this turns me into an androgyne, if it leaves me male at all, it's a failure," at first. but then we find ourselves entering that reality, and it is still better than maleness, for most it's enough to live with (some go crazy trying to get every possible surgery, but for most). we become a sort of third sex, who occupy the same social role as the female sex, rather than female outright. but this turned out to not be so bad, nor does it in any way impede me from living my normie woman life. granted, i don't really date. it does matter when the clothes come off. but in day to day life i'll take being the tranny androgyne i am over the man i could've been every time
>i tried some social/physical stuff like growing my hair, shaving my body and painting my nails but it really didn't work out
do you mind if i ask why exactly it didn't work? i have some experience with this from my femboy days. some stuff felt cute and feminizing, other times things felt like makeup on a pig and just emphasized masculine traits to me. i did a lot of crossplay and i remember being totally fine with dresses, except one poorly sewn sailor scout costume that bricked me and i had to change before the end of the con

>>37317831
so despite all the downside would you still recommend trying it if you aren't certain?

>>37317846
thank you, i'll keep trying, you're very sweet and kind

>>37317861
even though i'm uncertain about religion i still pray nightly which i find helps me a lot, i've heard it can be similar to therapy techniques but i'll research it more
can i ask though about why the feminized features are worth it though? like does it really surmount the feeling of just being a man, and the discomfort of the juxtaposition between feminine features and (no offense) a man body?

>>37317893
i guess you kinda answer my question here, i suppose i might just have a different perspective, usually for me seeing effeminate qualities on myself actually hurts more than just being a man, i feel like it totally accentuates exactly what i am not, i feel like being pseudo-andro third gender would be torturous for me, but i guess i also just don't know
as for why those things didn't work i think it was combination of social and personal factors, whenever i had my nails painted and my hair long, or tried wearing eyeliner when i went out, i just felt like a retarded faggot tranny, makeup on a pig feels very apt, this was especially true when i tried wearing female clothing when i was alone, it really disgusted me, like not only did i look disgusting but it just made it so much more obvious that i was a man, also the social factor was bad for me, most of my family and friends told me i looked like a fag and those that didn't judged me silently, i know the way people look at you when you indulge that stuff and i can't stand it

>>37317893
i did try to be a ""femboy"" when i was maybe 16, which was essentially just me letting myself be ogled online by predators, and it felt good for a little bit but it mostly just upset me more, shaved legs look all the more masculine for what they're not, female clothing doesn't look right on man hips, and my bones are just irreparably ruined so i don't think they can be helped
i do think sex abuse both physical and online has certainly shaped a lot of my sexual and gender based discomfort

>>37317706
>i don't want everybody to hate and be uncomfortable around me again

NOBODY feels this way anon. it’s literally fine to be a gnc male. and if you are this uncomfortable with something as simple as painting your nails, imagine how much more uncomfortable you will feel insisting that you’re literally a woman. i think a lot of people transition to try to alleviate shame that they feel about being gnc relative to their birth sex, but it can actually ends intensifying it.

>>37318012
i do worry about this, i really have no idea what my feelings actually mean so maybe you're right, i do just wish there were some way to know for certain

>>37318012
it can alleviate that shame, but it does that by virtue of how transition just brutally forces you to let go of the shame for your own sanity kek
but hey it works

>>37317965
maybe. it kind of brute forced me into accepting and becoming comfortable with who i was, which ultimately was not a woman. there are probably ways to do this that won’t give you gynomastica, though. and it’s also really easy to get sucked in by sunk cost fallacy, peer pressure, etc and continue down a really damaging pathway. in my case i am certain this would have ended in suicide. so i would caution you but it might still be worth it to try and determine if it’s for you because at the end of the day nothing matters.

i’m >>37318012 also

>>37318092
sunk cost and delusion would definitely be a major concern for me though maybe it would snap me out of whatever haze i've been trapped under, gyno is also a worry if i were to ever "try it out"
idk, maybe i should just go for it, i am afraid that i might just spaz out and kill myself or something though, painting my nails and stuff did really damage my sense of self for a long time, though tranners i talk to tell me this is just a form of dysphoria so i can't say for certain

>>37317055
Transition is the best thing that's ever happened to me, it's also the worst thing to have ever happened to me. Both are equally true.

Before transition I just didn't feel things.

>>37318150
do you feel as if it was worth it overall?

>>37318158
Absolutely, my only regret is that I didn't start sooner.

>>37318181
Many such cases

>>37318181
thank you for sharing, i'm definitely not counting the idea out so there's that, i've felt this way since i was very young and now i'm extremely old so i guess i'm literally retarded

>>37317965
prayer is good, similar benefits to meditation just with a more spiritual angle (or for those who meditate religiously more or less the same), i am religioud myself and do both when i'm keeping my good habits. somewhat tangential but i've found religion a surprisingly valuable support in transition too. to remember that whatever the world or my demons think of me, i'm still loved and still here to do good works. def encourage the researching meditation and self therapy stuff!
>why are the feminized features worth it?
hmm it can be hard to quantify, especially when that's the lesser factor. the lifting of T-gloom and the end of anxiety about future masculinization far outweigh the actual visible changes in my own experiences. but for the features it's like, i still look like some kind of hon twink thing, but everything that bothered me is just less. i always had a broad chest and shoulders, and my boobs are smaller than i'd like, but i have boobs, i fill out a bra in my size and can dress normal without worrying or feeling like a cross dresser. my body hair and what little facial hair i have got lighter and less bothersome, that was nice. i stopped reeking of man when i get sweaty or w/e. the skin was a surprisingly big thing, some lizard brain thing can just tell even on dry rough areas like "this skin is feminized," my whole surface area literally just feels slightly different. male sex drive and random boners went away, huge win. balding runs in my family but now i get to keep my pretty hair. i'll be honest a big part of it for me was starting at 19 and getting hip growth too, which it either is or soon will be past the window for at 24. but i think even without that i'd be counting me blessings, just like now where my shoulders turned out to be a bone problem but i can still be grateful for the other things and the ways they reduced my discomfort.
only thing i didn't like, muscle atrophy. helps passing in some spots but exercise now is just more lol

>>37318133
tranners try to gaslight you into interpreting every unpleasant emotion as a form of dysphoria. it just sounds like you are experiencing shame, which transition will only exacerbate.

>>37318211
>extremely old
IDK what you consider old, but I started at 31. It's not too late. I'm apparently hot enough to have a few chasers constantly blowing up my phone.

>>37317965
trying to think what to say to the second part of this and honestly, i think i circle back to recommending self therapy here. secondarily i'd recommend studying fashion and anatomy a little to gain the knowledge that'll help you feminize yourself in ways that don't induce that stressy man in a dress feeling. but some of it is absolutely mental here. like, shaving triggers this?? even when i was an anorexic teen boy with chicken thighs and man calves, shaving my legs was one of the few things that still reliably felt feminizing in an okay way. and face too but that's yk every day from the moment hairs started daring to sprout there. but yeah point being like, if something as neutral and hard to worm over as shaved body hair triggers your dysphoria, then some level of mental work to re-associate with your own body might be needed. it gives "she's only not this bothered usually because usually she's not paying attention to the body at all"

>>37317055
The trans women who pass and are happy don't spend their time online complaining about how they don't pass and hate themselves.

I transitioned in my late 30s and it's all gone pretty swimmingly. I pass, virtually everyone in my social circle and extended family have been supportive, and I have enormously less dysphoria than I used to. Overall it's been a huge win for me.

I still post here because I'm an oldfag and actually have a thick enough skin to handle it, but a lot of the posters here are here *because* of their crippling self esteem issues.

>>37318228
i'm sorry if my replies are short atm, i've got some personal physical stuff rn that makes me weak and tire easily, i love prayer though and i will encourage self therapy
some of that stuff does sound nice to me, my chest and shoulders are extremely broad so i guess the idea that i could overcome that would be nice, breasts freak me out though, like it's a very immediate and identifiable thing, it just really stresses me

>>37318232
maybe, this seems kinda true to me also cause there's a lot of shame, but i don't know what drives me to want to do it anyways (at least until i actually do do it, then i never want to ever again)

>>37318252
i'm 20

>>37318276
i mostly prefer to just wallow and ignore it, if it is what it is then i don't have to draw attention to it and it can just exist as is, but yeah pretty much everything upsets me in this way, also i'm totally anorexic right now which does help me feel a little better, but not much

>>37318283
i'm happy for you, i might try never posting again soon, i'm not sure if this place is good for me

>>37318373
>extremely old
>i'm 20
girl wtf, you haven't even finished masculinizing yet.

>>37318402
she needs to wait 10 more years to be really sure that being a hon is what she really wants, then she will be ready to transition
lmao

>>37318402
i'm gonna be 21 super soon, i'm extremely masculine right now and my proper puberty finished years ago, i do feel as if it's kind of over for me in regards to being a youngshit

>>37318373
wait i thought you said 24 somewhere, you're 20???
okay, this changes things, you're in a critical window here
>i'll be honest a big part of it for me was starting at 19 and getting hip growth too, which it either is or soon will be past the window for at 24
i was downplaying this a little so you'd focus on the other things and not doom about that. but having passing hips can be a HUGE thing for both passing and self perception, it's as important as shoulders easily.
hip fusion finalizes around 23-26, it varies a little by person, and iirc for a few years before that they're like starting to settle into final position, 18ish onwards.
so basically right now, and only for another year or two, getting on hrt could flare your pelvic tilt and give you permanently feminized hip bone structure. it's the midshit (formerly youngshit) threshold, and you haven't missed it yet.
it's still important that you think things through and make whatever decision you're most comfortable with of course. but i feel like that's something you deserve to be aware of here

>>37318441
If you wait till 31 like I did, you're going to look back at old pictures from right now and think about how much easier it would've been to transition at 21.

>>37318496
uh oh pinkpiller alert OP you better hide!

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>>37318509
>it's still important that you think things through and make whatever decision you're most comfortable with of course. but i feel like that's something you deserve to be aware of here
scuse you, i am fair and balanced

>>37318534
thats what YOU think

>>37318496
i would be lying to say that doesn't freak me out somewhat, of the discomforts i have my hips and shoulders are certainly the most prominent, i don't really know what to think about it though, this knowledge doesn't exactly make me feel very good and i'm still not exactly sure what i should do with myself

>>37318499
if i don't troon out and am still thinking about this stuff by 30 i'm probably just going to end it tbqh

>>37318542
or maybe i think i'm pinkpilling by providing a balanced perspective and not pushing op either way to seem trustworthy, when in fact i'm failing and am actually being fair and balanced and op will now go happily make independent personally considered choices without succumbing to my influences as a result (drats!)

>>37318496
the thought of this makes me feel a despair and shame above anything else

>>37318598
i think you've been very kind to me and i thank you, i'm really sorry if it seems like i'm not engaging, i wish i had more energy

>>37317245
>I'm happy. I have bad days, but things are overall pretty great! Who doesn't have bad days? Before I transitioned, I didn't even have good days.
Life is a lot more bearable for me now too, I don't want to die anymore and I can have fun doing things, it's still not perfect but it's way better. I mostly pass though so that probably affects my outlook
>>37317264
>it's dysphoria that hasn't been fully alleviated and the social pain of being out and trans. if we regretted transition itself we'd stop hrt. people here are unhappy with not being pretty and accepted and normal in society, they're not sad because of the E or the boobs
I think that's it, yeah, being ostracized for trying to be happier while still not being feminine enough to live as a woman is horrific

>>37318580
well at this point i have little advice i could give you beyond like advice on specific questions, or encouragement to try. maybe there's more worth saying that someone else will pop into this thread with, but beyond that i think your next steps lie offline. it's okay that you don't know whether to transition right this second. you do know what to do -- the next steps are to introspect and process and think. you are in a critical window, so don't bottle this for later, but you don't have to do it instantly or all in one day. work through your thoughts at a natural pace. assess your relationships to your body, to your future, and to your role in society, assess whether the transition steps science has made available to us feel like things you want or things that would be not enough and worse. keep the question in the center of all these thoughts. eventually you'll be able to give yourself a yes or no. maybe it takes a few hours, or days, or weeks. but you do have that much time at least, your hips aren't fusing tomorrow all at once

>>37318610
ope didn't reply to first one either but to both apologies: no need!
you posted a thread for advice, i came here to help. your level of engagement with my advice is up to you, it's just laid there in the hope it might be of use to you :)
and, i am a yapper lol

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Pimozide is safe and effective at treating gender dysphoria
Radical genital modification surgery is safe and effective at promoting suicide
Make your choice

>>37318697
>>37318711
>>37318717
>>37318724
evetything you're saying is wrong but it's not worth engaging with cause this thread is literally not remotely about srs you schizo

>>37318645
>>37318674
i guess you're right in that there isn't really anything to be said, though if i were to try hrt, can i ask how long you think i'd need to do to really get a sense for if i like it? like i assume 1 week would be too little, but idk what would be right

>>37318697
>>37318711
>>37318717
i have no intention of getting srs, so i don't really think these apply

>>37318598
I wonder if OP is capable of making choices.

>>37318765
3-6 months usually

>>37318780
do you think there'd be any permanent changes in a 3-6 month period?

>>37318790
maybe a little breast growth. but that doesn't really start up until the 6-18 month point

>>37318765
if you experienced a similar pubertal/post pubertal gloom from testosterone as i did, that takes 2-3 months for me. first time was a couple weeks but that was definite placebo, i had to start and stop a couple times (insurance issues) and when the T spiked and then nuked again i was able to clearly track the antidepressant effect to that time frame. other changes like skin and hair will start by then as well (hair thins at first as follicles rebuild, don't be alarmed by that), i had breast budding within a few weeks but sometimes that takes months. very ymmv but that was my experience. i'd say 6 months to a year is a window for really knowing how you feel about it. i also went full time girlmode (very much honmode at this point) at 3 months hrt which i recommend at 3-6 months if you're feeling like sticking with it by then, i fully believe resocializing early is a huge factor in why i ever pass at all

>>37318799
>>37318808
breast budding is worrying to me cause i got a little gyno during puberty which eventually went away, but i still think i'm sensitive to it, would there be any way i could limit that from happening? six months feels like an amount of time in which i could maybe really impact my body permanently
>girlmode at 3 months
i would genuinely shoot myself in the head

>>37318849
>would there be any way i could limit that from happening?
there's a medication, minoxidil i think, that inhibits estrogen uptake in the breasts and can sometimes even fully prevent breast development. NB femboymaxxers take it.
but everything you're saying suggests your aim, should you do this, is to be as close as possible to just a cis female version of you. correct me if i'm wrong. but if that's true and it's just that you don't want to mankode with boobs, and if you stick with transition, it 100% will become a regret.
i think it'd be better to weigh possible breast growth into the risks of hrt, and if you accept that risk be prepared to bind until you come out, and to maybe need mastectomy if you detrans. it's fully up to you, i've given you the med info. but that's my full advice there

>>37318849
>girlmode at 3 months
>i would genuinely shoot myself in the head
it's not as bad as everyone worries. the hardest part is stopping. really you can do it any time, but the important thing is to not fall into the moder trap for too long. people get complacent (a sort of fearful despair mixed with comfortable certainty) in manmode and it legitimately ruins their transitions, you see it all the time here. so really my leaping straight into full time mattered because it kept me out of that. you can take your time, just don't get yourself stuck on the isle of the lotus eaters like half this board. they insist it's best, but they're not happy

>>37318925
*hardest part is starting not stopping
lmao

>>37318580
>if i don't troon out and am still thinking about this stuff by 30 i'm probably just going to end it tbqh
>not trooning out
>still thinking about this stuff at 29
aaaa

>>37318925
i'm ngl if i "girlmoded" anywhere around where i live i'd get kicked to death, i live in the first world but it's a pretty small town, so i think that's just off the table for me
>>37318885
is there no way to just like have more breast growth later even if you block it in the short term? this just feels very all or nothing

>>37318965
implants

>>37318977
i guess that makes sense

>>37317055
because being trans sucks but it is leagues better than repressing
i dont believe that anyone has told you theyre happy all the time since transitioning so these dont really contradict each other at all, being trans is a disaster and i want to kill myself but things are indeed much better now

>>37318965
>i live in the first world but it's a pretty small town, so i think that's just off the table for me
well ofc will depend a lot on country/region for how people are so i am not denying this. but, this is a very easy fear to overplay too. similar to walking at night -- majorly bad L state, but high probability of things being fine, especially if you play it smart.
i will share my experience in case you're in NA or somewhere culturally similar, i transitioned and did my gigahonning in a small town in the american midwest (albeit a college town, but i went to the next towns over plenty cause there was nothing to do but drink or class locally), i've lived in several cities since then, and right now at my semipass i am living in the deep south in a state where it's illegal for me to use the womens' restroom without issue. i keep myself presentable, cheerful, patient even with weirdos, and unobtrusive, and am rewarded with peace.
in early babytranny hon times i got yelled at in the bathroom a handful of times (once in a wyoming gas station, i booked it out of there that was maybe a close call), and i get the usual creeper sexual attention, but that's the worst of it
>is there no way to just like have more breast growth later even if you block it in the short term?
that's my understanding of it yeah, i think you can still restart it by messing with levels and like e2/prog/prolactin maybe, but I don't fully understand the mechanics. something about the way it locally blocks receptors but doesn't actually stop the clock that starts when the body starts estrogenizing, i think. you may wanna read more and learn more than i know about that lol.
otherwise as the other anon said implants are an option
>this just feels very all or nothing
yeah, the human body is kinda made to work that way with sex hormones. switch from one to the other and the whole system will want to switch. i wish i could offer you wider choices but science isn't there yet

>>37318965
also just to be clear when i say "you can restart growth by messing with levels," everything i've read suggests that's likely to lead to smaller boobs than your genetics would've otherwise dictated
that's not peer reviewed survey data or anything so take it with a grain of salt, but it's what i've seen from people talking about having done this themselves

>>37319181
>>37319203
i'm not na unfortunately, i'm glad your experiences have been broadly positive but i'm a little more confident about where i'm from, a guy i know got beaten up on a date so there's that
idk i'm still thinking about it strongly, maybe it's food and sleep deprivation (i haven't eaten or slept in 36 hours), but it does kinda sound like it would be wise, idk tho, maybe just for a couple months