Mabey you guys can give me insight on what the fuck is going on with me. Not even sure how to describe it. I don't think I'm trans I've never actually looked into the phycology of one, traits, symptoms what have you. But pretty sure off of what I've heard from trans folk I know, it sounds like I am not one. So help me explain why I feel like this. Always been a hardcore tomboy. Bought a chest binder some time ago and it felt amazing. The idea of being a guy excites me. Putting on makeup to fool people, wearing men's clothes, cutting my hair even shorter. I genuinely do hate being a woman, I've somewhat been neutral to the fact I'm a woman most my life. Sometimes I just really hate looking at my tits or other feminine body traits. Makes me pretty fucking upset at times. I hate women due to many years of childhood trauma. Putting on the binder gives me confidence when I'm anxious. I've only ever "liked" my feminine body when I am seducing someone. I know I will regret it if I take T or any surgeries, but it also sounds amazing. I just know the glow will fade away eventually.So what am I? I don't want to do anything drastic, I just want these feelings to figure itself out and go away. I also do not want to be making a hobby out of peoples suffering. Do I just hate myself and developed a weird reaction to it?
