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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: https://kiwiirc.com/nextclient/irc.rizon.net/#/lgbt/sig
Discord: https://discord.gg/MKVMqfkkpS

>>37669844
get this faggot thread off my board >>>/adv/

>>37669852
bitch youve got eyelids dont you? close your faggy eyes and pretend it's gone, dingus. that easy

>>37670144
These threads don't belong on this board. Take it to >>>/adv/. There are already too many offtopic "generals" here.

>>37669852
>>37670155
crab mentality

>>37670155
adv is shitty advice threads for straight people who wont admit to taking it up the ass, this is self improvement for sad queer losers who do. the slurs are the same but the intent is different. go back to your own general if it bothers you that much.

losing weight getting ripped i need creatine i need to get lean i need to have rippling powerful biceps that bottom curious men fall in love with

It's a horrible shame that you can only have one body type at a time

>>37670304
You talk like a 30 year old boomer. Just shutup and take your self help scam books somewhere else.

Don't reply to bait.

>>37660269
I hope the same for my ex after she broke up with me too, she really has had it rough for too long. May we too be given the chance to live a good life and find happiness.

>>37630888
I like that pic, I hope that turns out to be me and to figure it out early enough to have enough of a good life left

>>37654728
I find adding some feta really helps with legume-based stuff, the creaminess and acidity seem to balance things out quite well (for my tastes). What you posted looks like great comfort food already though

>>37629526
>This expression of introspection automatically clears you of such a trespass
Alas sometimes that may be done on purpose as well (a concern I had as I wrote it)
> — as does your jocular statement preceding it.
Thank you. As a personal peculiarity, I enjoyed that em-dash (brings up pleasant memories of a relationship past).
>I've found that precision — even the slightest — goes a long way in the avoidance of coming off as insincere or grating. Exempli gratia, I regard "Theta, the shading and highlighting on this piece are done well." as a much more agreeable compliment than "This looks really good!", as the former suggests some degree of perception and scrutiny on the commentator's behalf, along with an interest to engage with me beyond basal pleasantries
I definitely agree when it's done sincerely. Sometimes it might be done sarcastically (hopefully rarely), although I assume that would mostly happen between friends in a lighthearted manner.
On the other side, I can see many people putting on their normie mask and not trying to be "too weird", by keeping it short to "This looks really good! :)", instead of expressing the full thought train the piece evoked (and potentially emotions too).

How do I regain my soul, my whimsy, and my silliness?
I feel so jaded about everything and so alone in it. I try but it never matters to others.

GET SNUGGLED
GET CUDDLED
TAKE
THE
SMOOCHES

Should I join the military? I'm really running out of options in life. I’m also not fit enough but I’m trying…
Do they force you to girlmode if you troon out?

I'm cleaning

i am suicidal again because im fake trans manmoder lol
there is no cure for this is there?
Ill always doubt myself forever
because I trooned too late in life and was a repper chud gooning faggot
i hate myself again

>>37672444
>How do I regain my soul, my whimsy, and my silliness?
Consciously trying to focus on things like plants or just things outside helps me regain a sense of proportion (ie. I'm just a silly little thing in a big world) and that silly lighthearted feel.
>I feel so jaded about everything and so alone in it. I try but it never matters to others.
Sounds pretty demotivating, not sure how to help unfortunately.

bump

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a cat for siganon :3 love her

>>37678637
Isn't siganon a guy

>>37679256
ya, he's a fag

Can someone post that image of trans-friendly crisis center lines that won't call the cops on you if you're suicidal? I saw it posted on the board recently and I figure it might be useful to have on hand for myself or others in case of something.

>>37679848
1-800-328-7448

>>37679352
jury's probably out on that, but a ttttposter at the very least

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>step on the scale for the first time in like a year
>literally 200 pounds
How to stop being a fat fuck? Exercise is off the table, dietary suggestions only

>>37680386
Nah there was an image with a bunch of resources on it.

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prrro
https://vocaroo.com/16E5iiZt2xen

>>37682520
>Exercise is off the table
Elaborate upon that.

>>37682520
fasting

>>37685004
no
>>37685108
okay how do i go about it? just don't eat for 2 weeks?

>>37685281
okay then go fuck yourself

>>37685339
later maybe

>>37682520
Ozempic is your only option here but you will balloon back when you stop taking it so just make sure you're rich enough to afford it.

>>37685406
how2get????

>>37685478
Do you have $1,500 a month to spend?

>>37685505
i think its more like 350 where i am

>>37685535
Either way, you're paying for an overpriced drug that will only help you lose 10 pounds at most. You're better off not eating slop and lifting weights + rooning.

>>37685673
idk i think i'll just not bother and become a hamplanet
thank you for the advice tho

pg 8 bump n pump

>>37669844
>Name a personality trait you value in other people, and a way it manifests in their actions.
i think it's always very admirable for people to just keep on pushing on. most trans people have this to some degree, even the doomerish ones. they could just stop, but at least part of them still believes in continuing, pushing on.

>What could you do that would embody the same trait?
i've been really improving mentally recently. i'm at the point where i feel like i can do something with my live, like i can achieve something. if i keep working hard, one day i can do something great and be an example of a happy and thriving tgirl. show younger girls that it's not all terrible and shit. that's my dream rn i think

>>37680386
So is this a scam or no? The suicidal ideation is back but I don't want to lose my job again from getting locked up without my phone.

>>37688846
Do you wanna talk? I can sit here for a while if you need someone to talk to.

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>>37672262
This has been noted. I often under-utilize cheeses.
>>37672312
>As a personal peculiarity, I enjoyed that em-dash (brings up pleasant memories of a relationship past).
Is this a point upon which you'd care to divulge further?
>I can see many people putting on their normie mask and not trying to be "too weird"
I do empathize with the sentiment of wishing to take the perceived path of least resistance, even if I tend to view acts of self-obnubilation with contempt...

>>37669852
Ironic because nobody there posts advice. It's a discord circlejerk board just like /tttt/.

Good night

i'm struggling to maintain routines. it's very difficult

i feel like i want or need another abusive relationship, because of how my last one ended. i don't know how to get past that. i know it wont be good for me, but it's the only kind of relationship i know. can this be fixed, or does anyone else experience this? or am i some kind of special unique fucked up

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>>37691849
>self-obnubilation

>>37669844
>Name a personality trait you value in other people, and a way it manifests in their actions. What could you do that would embody the same trait?
The thing I wish to say isn't really a personality trait and most people don't have it but imma say it any way, honesty.

>>37682520
gaslight your body into sustainably eating healthier and thus less calories, e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBJPgM6w120
(check out his channel for other vids in that vein too btw)

>>37691911
/adv/ offers no advice, /tttt/ has tons of cissies, /fit/ doesn't lift, /lit/ can't read, it's an easy heuristic once you spot the patterns

>>37669844
GOTT: i admire people who are curious! who try new and different things every day instead of returning to what they know

i dont know how i could fix this... maybe i need a little post-it on my desk telling me "try approaching things differently?"

also, i think i will put my phone charger away from my bed! i get up far too late every morning because my phone is too tempting when im sad

>>37691849
>Is this a point upon which you'd care to divulge further?
Oh nothing big - she used it, and it grew on me, so I started using it here and there, and it was one more little thing that we "bonded" over.
>I often under-utilize cheeses.
To be fair, I have the privilege (in this case) of being from a culture that uses white cheese extensively. Conversely, I really enjoy learning about other culture's culinary combinations, which often results in fusion dishes that I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

>>37694958
>/adv/ offers no advice, /tttt/ has tons of cissies, /fit/ doesn't lift, /lit/ can't read, it's an easy heuristic once you spot the patterns
so if that's true then where am I supposed to go? where am I supposed to go? if all the avenues are shit, 4chan, reddit, quora, YouTube, therapy, reaching out to friends and family etc if there is no advice to be gained from doing any of that then what am I supposed to do you cocksucker

>>37695023
What do you need advice about?

>>37694797
posting wojaks is more embarrassing than anything youve ever mocked in your life

self hatred and identity issues again fun
Tackle one part of it an other pops up
A hydra unrelenting
At Least I accepted that movng forwards means I gotta quit parts of life thata rent good for me, and somehow eventually find a normal job and at least be out of the closet to the people near me.

>>37695023
I was memeposting off of your "adv doesnt post advice". I need to add "nta" to more of these
tttt/sig is unironically not a bad place, neither are the others
my personal approach would be to go to the place, have a skim at the current and maybe last thread to see what the mood is (e.g. by skimming the adv catalog and a few threads you can see they're often not that helpful), and post in the shortlisted places
e.g. here

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Page ten

tttt's channerisms do make me laugh sometimes
>Chapter 21, aka How to Make Your Rape Victim Love You with More Rape: The Ethical Rape Chronicles by Shuno
this is part of my mental health self-care

are there any nice people in the world? everyone i come across from my country is just the worst person imaginable to me.. maybe i should migrate like a mongol, but what if everyone is a piece of shit wherever else too? what if maybe my severe autism just makes me unlikeable to everyone?
i just want to not be hated by everyone i get to know anymore :( life is lonely

>>37698317
I had a similar experience (many of my home country, but plenty were good people too), and in my new country people are usually a lot less shitheady. Culture is a big part of it, less need for machismo here

hi /sig/ today I am back from a week of scientific exchange and I think I'll ask my gymcrush for his number monday if I see him maybe

>>37698458
damn at least you had plenty good people. here the bad people and my autism dont mix at all, i just feel so lonely i dont know what to do...

>>37669844
>Goal of the thread: Name a personality trait you value in other people, and a way it manifests in their actions. What could you do that would embody the same trait?
Reliability and complete honesty. I have always struggled with being reliable, in the sense that sometimes I flake, do not make it to scheduled appointments on time, or simply fail to deliver on promises. Some of the blame could possibly be explained away by my ADHD, or technology addiction, but obviously it does not take away my responsibility. To be more reliable would take better time management. I don't like to disappoint. I feel like this goes hand in hand with another trait I admire: complete honesty. This is something I suck with. A lot of the times I tell, what I think to be, little white lies. In some cases it is justified, especially when it comes to people I don't trust or know, or just to avoid awkwardness (not everyone needs to know every detail about me). But in some cases, it blurs the lines of what is okay, especially when it comes to staying out of trouble with people. As I said, I don't like to disappoint people and sometimes I can't bring myself to bear such shame in front of a person, so I pretend like everything is alright. I'll lie about feeling okay. I'll lie about that thing you asked me to do last week, because oh shit, i've totally forgotten about it and now it's spiraled into this monster of a task. Maybe it isn't even lying per se all the time, just keeping people in the dark. This is something I have struggled with, especially as a child, having my privacy violated by certain people and being paranoid all the time. It's made me less trusting of everyone. That being said, people have a right to know what's going on, so I'm not proud of this in the slightest. The biggest thing I can do is not make excuses, especially to myself. To not justify my actions, but to simply, reflexively reply. I can't control people's reactions, i need to accept it.

>>37698990
I've had some, but mainly experienced feeling like an outcast for being too weird
it's why I get most of my social fix on tttt, even while being a cis guy
I hope there's places where more compatible people gather in yours, or that moving to a more compatible place is an option

>>37699034
>Some of the blame could possibly be explained away by my ADHD, or technology addiction, but obviously it does not take away my responsibility. To be more reliable would take better time management
and the right tools to manage that ADHD
(I'm partial to the "adult adhd toolkit" book and lecture, and the how to adhd yt channel as a starting point, and ofc medication if it makes sense, as both of those resources say)

bumpers

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Glad someone made a thread after the old one died, it's high time for me to catch up with the thread.. I recuperated most of the weekend, slept a whole lot, did chores..
>>37664530
You did the right thing, anon. Sick leave is nothing to be ashamed of.
> I hope I am not deluding myself into thinking I'm trying my best.
I think you did great that day. I'm happy for you.
>>37664543
It's an incredibly difficult, thorny type of situation. All of it. I think what you could use is more friends, in general. If you have more loved ones in your life then the emotional strain eases and you have more time to process things and cope without needing to self isolate.
>>37664980
Yeah, that checks out! I am still always conflicted about what to tell people about weight cycling, since a lot of people overdo it and it seems that the data on how much it actually helps is shaky. After all, it does not really accelerate key step (fat cell renewal) but can at most empty existing deposits.

>>37701923
>After all, it does not really accelerate key step (fat cell renewal) but can at most empty existing deposits.
that shouldn't be a problem, no?
>a lot of people overdo it
yeah that's why I tend to nag about "within healthy BMI" and "at a healthy rate", esp. since I too went full retard on that
>and it seems that the data on how much it actually helps is shaky
interesting, although I'm always wary of whether it's "absence of evidence", "not enough statistical power", "conclusion stronger than what the methods would imply", or something more convincing (and then one vs multiple corroborating studies, conflicting studies, and overall scientific consensus)
but that's just me, since I've been burned by scientism a few times, as well as anti-scientism for good measurement

>>37701979
good measure*
my English is getting wonky, and I should be hitting the sack anyway
night, folks, have a good one

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>>37667027
> He puts up with so many of my bad qualities, it's a mystery to me why. I certainly love him for that, he's a great dude in that sense.
Having experienced that feeling both on the giving and receiving end let me ease your mind that the things that bother people are just completely all over the place. And chances are you would never even think about it if a loved one had some of the qualities of yours you feel must be a burden. We are negatively biased against ourselves.
>. I certainly love him for that, he's a great dude in that sense.
gratefulness exercises might help. Mutual, maybe. You telling him what you are grateful for about him, it will get your own emotions sorted out. In turn let him tell you qualities he appreciates about you and dwell on them, you WILL wanna dismiss them.
>t's been about 2 years now since we started dating.
that is normal. I have been with my current partner for .. 6 years? It waxes and wanes, right now we are kind of on a honeymoon uptick again despite long distance (work reasons). You can rekindle romance, and frequently have to. It is a matter of rediscovery, and there is no shame in it. It is afaict a normal part of a long term relationship.
>he's not invested in it and it kind of fucking bums me out.
I think his need to grow on that front is to be more encouraging of your pursuits then. I am not invested in gf's writing hobby for example, but I praise and encourage her, let her walk me through how much she accomplished and hold her gently accountable for her goals.
>I'm not outdoorsy per se, but I do like to be outside in nature and just walk, it's not really his cup of tea.
Could you combine it with something he likes? For example, I am not outdoorsy at all but I will never say no to a walk if it ends in a nice cup of coffee at a cozy place.
>>37667399
>Should I join the military? I have no money and no way to escape my conservative parents.
Incredibly difficult question, which country?

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>>37670337
Ganbatte, anon! We do have a book on butt shaping exercises, I feel like we could use more /bottomfit/ content..
>>37670411
Oh I know that feel. I am incredibly comfortable with my gender but I would love to be malleable on other fronts.
>>37672238
Learned helplessness is real, and super hard to overcome. I think it is important to practice patience and understanding with oneself and others there.
>>37691849
>I often under-utilize cheeses.
just today I had a nice 4 ingredient sauce you might like: butternut, onion, butter, gorgonzola. Simply soften onion and diced butternut in butter, add a bit of water and simmer covered, occasionally adding just enough water so the pumpkin keeps steaming. Once soft enough, blend, add gorgonzola, done. It's a recipe that I stole from an italian colleague loosely off memory.
>>37672444
Mind if I start with the second part? What exactly never matters to others? Do you have people you feel are supportive of you, loved ones?
>>37672610
this is the kinda post that reminds me that hornygen and sig have conceptual overlap.
>>37672784
Sorry I took so long to respond, see >>37702086
We have an anon that joined the US navy iirc to help fund transition etc. Sadly I don't have any insider knowledge to offer myself, no matter the nation. But that is definitely what you should seek out, some online communities that have people from the military in question.
>>37674333
You the anon I think you are?

>>37702285
>We have an anon that joined the US navy iirc to help fund transition etc
hopefully not the old ASPD trip that did a lot of drama in mtfg

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I haven't posted outside of /sig/ in a while. I miss it sometimes, I should break containment more often.
>>37685720
>>37685406
>>37682520
I strongly disagree with the need for drugs, or exercise. I lost 40kg with dieting sustainably and healthily alone. Literally all you need is a change of your eating habits, and a few health checks. Start with CICO, that is count calories. Use the calculator and resources in the OP paste. Even just restricting to 2000kcal/day, which would (assuming you are like 180cm/5'11) shed weight.
>>37684990
That was lovely.
>>37679848
Oh shit, I don't think I have that one, but if you find it please share! You can also browse https://archived.moe/ if you know the day/thread in particular.
>>37687473
I'm rooting for you, anon. I think you have a beautiful outlook.
>>37692372
It generally is, there are several roadblocks that can get in the way, people with adhd etc also need very different approaches. I personally have the best success with triggers: alarms, times of day, things that give me a pavlovian sorta response. The worst routines for me are those that are monthly or more irregular. I can do the dishes easily, I struggle with cleaning windows and such.

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I should start digging up my halloween appropriate images..
>>37678637
>>37681292
>>37679352
I'm a cis bi guy! I sometimes bring it up for context to emphasize I am not equipped to talk about trans stuff on a personal level. Whether I'm a fag, I mean, I tend to make the threads (didn't make this one though, someone kindly stepped in), so I suppose I am one in the "OP is a fag" sense.
>>37692864
It can be, almost everyone in your situation I ever talked to had the EXACT same urge. Allegedly it is some kinda coping mechanism where we try to regain control through reliving, but it never works. You are not only not alone, but tons of people are struggling with it and overcome. You need supportive partners, and you need to figure out a lot of shit about boundaries, it's trial and error. Any specific things you dunno how to approach?
>>37694861
>The thing I wish to say isn't really a personality trait and most people don't have it but imma say it any way, honesty.
that's already good. What kind of honesty do you find lacking in people, or yourself?
>>37694962
>maybe i need a little post-it on my desk telling me
shit like that can work, in your case it is a bit of a diffuse goal, you could try giving it concrete shape by directing that curiosity! Do you have particular passions that are broad, or things you never tried but wanna?
>also, i think i will put my phone charger away from my bed!
I always shill that as a good solution to reduce screen time, yes! physical separation works.
>>37695411
Things are difficult, and I am glad you are fighting on, anon.
>>37697201
thank you, anon!
>>37698054
Fucking kek, where did you see THAT?

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>>37698940
Hell yes anon, do tell me how it went!
>>37698317
>>37699047
In my personal experience things that make a major difference even within the same country are cultural dividing lines: more rural versus urban is a big one, with student cities being also different in their own right usually. Sometimes it can be north-south gradients, east-west.. I had people experience similar issues later realize they were culturally much close to another place in the same country.
>>37701979
I am past my bedtime as well.
>but that's just me, since I've been burned by scientism a few times, as well as anti-scientism for good measurement
you have a good head on your shoulders with a level headed approach and good critical thinking.
>that shouldn't be a problem, no?
not really but fat cell count is to my understanding the most important aspect of fat redistrib, so a significant change long term is just cells dying off in spot A and developing in spot B.
>>37699034
It sounds like a key issue in the way of honesty is shame/fear of disappointment and performance anxiety, which seem nigh universal issues with people suffering from adhd. I mean you basically said so yourself. I think you laid things out beautifully there.

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Hello, I had a pretty bad car accident back in july :( the money I had tucked away all went to pay my medical bills and Im still pay for it. Im not defaulting on payment but everything is going to take longer now. My debts are going down but I have new one too. I heard someone else got in an accident too and broke their arm too. Hope it wasn't as bad for you as me, I didn't have my seatbeat so i ate it bad. It wasn''t my fault, I try to avoid crashing but it made it worse. Next time I won't try to avoid these dumbasses on the road, I will crash into them and let them pay me out instead of being the only one crashing. I don't like that my first concern after crashing was the cost. I still remember trying to get car off the street so i can not report it to the insurance and the cops. It didn't matter, car was beyond wreck and someone call the cops after seeing the crash. Thanks for sig for checking on me, I want to start working on my personal goals again. My excuse has long past ran its course to be honest. BIG thanks for miu for being there for me as i recover, the crash wasn't as bad as recovering from it. Those nights were bittersweet <3

>>37704218
Welcome back, sorry about your shitty experience

Good night

>>37702471
>I'm rooting for you, anon. I think you have a beautiful outlook.
thank u anon. i used to be a lot more pessamistic and depressed but i've been trying hard to change that. use what i've been given in life to make it for all the girls that feel like they can't

>>37702790
what a cute helltaker pic

>>37702587
>Things are difficult, and I am glad you are fighting on, anon.
<3
>>37702285
>You the anon I think you are?
it is
Im better as you know
the fight is eternal and my brain is bad but im...doing my best
Slowly, eventually ill be ok I think. Had a nice morning so far, not the bets not the worst def nice
Always feel great day after my injection

>>37702285
>What exactly never matters to others?
I feel like I am very unfunny and kinda idk dissimilar. I hold back and when I dont I feel like people dont notice or care or move on from me.
>Do you have people you feel are supportive of you, loved ones?
yeah, I have some but...idk

>>37702790
it feels like every part of my country is the same though.. i live in the south, i have "friends" from the north west (which supposedly has the best people in the country). even those people from the chillest parts humiliate me and tell me to kms.
being autistic and a fag in this country is just too hard and lonely. i wish i could find an escape from the loneliness, but i've exhausted a majority of my options... i might move overseas to america or australia, hopefully at least there people won't tell me to jump in front of a tram :/
sorry for long dumb vent post i hope u have a great day :)

>>37707548
>[my friends] humiliate me and tell me to kms
cool friends

>>37708787
imagine if someone said
>I am convinced that this will signal the end of lesbianism in the United States. Good things are happening in the United Kingdom too. Ideally, lesbianism will be effectively eradicated from public life as it has been in Russia.
I'd hope most people would kind of agree it's "a bit" inhumane
then again, radfems haven't exactly been known for empathy

Bump

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Cleaning a laundry room that hasn't been dusted in at least a decade

>just found out a pure black gtk theme
ah, finally
>>37711210
this brings back memories, of 2nd worldies playing oppo'sing fors

arch or debian
emacs or vim
dwm or sway
c or c++
pure math or physics

>>37712497
Arch, Vim, DWM, C, Pure Math
alternatively, go outside and touch grass you absolute loser

>>37712497
gentoo,vim,dwm,c++,pure math
very simple

>>37712497
debian but relying on archwiki
emacs
GNOME, KDE if it stops krashing
hell no
both

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>>37669844
u ever go gym so hard as a tranny that u end up being kind of jacked and now all the guys at the gym look at u funny bc u went from a maybe slightly sloppy skinnyfat cis girl into some kind of genderfuck that they loathe with all their being

honestly at this point i have perfected dissociating in the gym to such a degree that i feel like i walk around with this impenetrable force field around me - i literally DGAF about what any of them think anymore hahahaha

except when i do, i finally fall apart and the waves of toxic shame come crashing over me for 3 odd days. rinse and repeat. fuck this life

page 10

>>37669844
how come the resources are down

I will never be a woman
I was never one

Good night

>>37669844
Idk what it says about bullying or anything, but the stereotype of horizontal self harm scars as attention seeking genuinely keeps me from self harming in that way. I like pain in some ways, and if I’m extremely upset I usually get the urge to make little cat scratches, but the thought of someone seeing my little scrapes that aren’t even deep enough to bleed is so embarrassing that I end up trying to do something else and then I give up and calm down because nothing else has the same effect.

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what the fuck am I even supposed to do about my mental state when i look like this? seriously, what? when i run away, i am already caught. when i hide, i am already found. when i try to face it, i am overwhelmed.

weight cycling did nothing.
years upon years of hormones did nothing.
no money for body augmentation

what the fuck do I DO?!

do I really just spend the rest of my life in therapy trying to cope with it until the blessed day my disfigured form is finally turned into ash?

the girl i’m seeing is REALLY into my body but idk ive always struggled with eds, im currently overweight by bmi, and id love to lose 20 lbs. why can’t i just be ok with myself?

>>37718358
u look fine, what is the problem?

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>>37718451
hahahhahaahhhaaahaha

beginning to wonder what i need treatment-wise to come back from this, i haven't seen my therapist in months, i don't want to put school and my life on hold again, but i know i need to because all i want to do is rot until im skeletal

i want people to care, i've lost so much weight recently and i'm clearly experiencing physical symptoms but no one has said anything beyond my friends trying to get me to eat with them sometimes

>>37718601
What I would give for friends who want me to eat with them sometimes.

>>37708324
those are the only people in my life that don't make it totally lonely. if i were to drop them, i wouldn't find anyone new and better. i would succumb to the loneliness if i truly had zero "friends"

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October is almost over and I've still done nothing: 3

>>37718358
I guess there really is nothing then. I will sit and wait for death to come.

6 am energy burst lets go
>Goal of the thread:
I value passion a lot i think maybe bc ive just been depressed for a bit lol i just think its neat when someone is driven. I feel like im only passionate at certain times when I have the energy to be, or if I'm good at or genuinely enjoy something. I think I just need to be consistent

GOTT: Kindness and sympathy, and I try my best to show it to others - I just shut down and dissociate when someone shows me any, I don't know how to describe or parse the feeling, it's not a 'oh they don't mean it' line of thinking so much as just genuinely not knowing how to respond

>>37672784
nooo dont become a class traitor</333

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I have an idea for a thing I'd like to build, but I know that I'm just going to drop it again anyway so why even bother starting
maybe I should just watch a movie or something

>>37718781
Have you actually tried being alone for a long stretch of time before? It's actually pretty great, infinitely better than being surrounded by assholes.

Hearing/reading other people talk about working out is extremely demoralizing
They're talking technical terminology and about correct and incorrect forms and nutrition and stuff whereas I'm just doing some routine I read about on the internet until I feel tired and sore
I'm a dilettante

>>37712497
debian, vim (actual editing) and emacs (org-mode and other IDE tasks), i3, sepples for corpo shit and whatever else for fun/hobbies, idk

>>37714404
>booba
Sorry, lizard brain took over. Also that interior looks comf af.
Would be way better if they had gyms with more chill people - plenty of /fit/cels aren't exactly normies, so one would hope there's more of a market for misfits.

>>37721509
If it's the usual stuff, probably 80% of it is almost useless (or worse, counterproductive) broscience created to push products and create a market for various PTs and cult leaders. The sticky remains valid (with some research updates on spot reduction, mind you).

>>37718358
>weight cycling did nothing.
>years upon years of hormones did nothing.
maybe hang around r/DrWillPowers and see if some of the symptoms or approaches seem relevant; and if you have money (iirc 500/yr), idk if trying a telehealth thing with him or people with similar deep-dive approaches might make sense. doing tons of labs to see which receptors are how sensitive, what hormone levels are sus, what mutations might be at play, ofc what levels you're getting, what regimens were tried and which other ones could be, and so on

I need to change my personality and be more social but it's too hard so I think I will stay indoors and do nothing.

>>37701923
>It's an incredibly difficult, thorny type of situation. All of it. I think what you could use is more friends, in general. If you have more loved ones in your life then the emotional strain eases and you have more time to process things and cope without needing to self isolate.
ty siganon. Ive done a lot of thinking about it and I've decided to continue to he friends even though it causes pain. I dropped the idea of ever being in a relationship with my friend. It's simply not to be. I've gone through a grieving process and while it still hurts to think about, and I legitimately feel like im going to vomit sometimes thinking about it, I'm slowly getting over it. I still enjoy spending time with my friend, and coming to terms and being at peace with it all. This friday I am going to an event and I will meet her bf which I'm a little worried about. I want to support them and only want the best for her, but I'm worried it might be hard to handle emotionally. But outside of that I've been trying to get myself to email a therapist for a consultation. It's kind of isolating never telling anyone about my past and if I am ever going to be comfortable with it I feel like I need to tell a therapist first. Overall my life is a lot better, but I still need help and have work to do. Maybe one day I could feel comfortable telling my friend about my sexuality and trans past

Bump

is there a way to change yourself to not have dysphoria anymore

>>37727881
>is there a way to feel good
yes

Good night

>>37727881
Taking HRT changed me and got rid of my dysphoria, try that.

Went to the dermatologist today. Treatment is working ok, but acne comes back occasionally and that can often be explained away with me being a bit inconsistent with the treatment, so i'm trying my best to curb it. The PA was there instead of the doctor that I normally see was there and I asked him if there was anything more I could do for my skin. My skin looks better, but I wanted to see if there could be more done. Asked him if he could treat the scars, "nope, only thing I can do is microneedling or laser." Both not covered by insurance and expensive. A few hundred bucks for recurring microneedling, a couple thousand for laser, and so I asked if there were any alternatives. None. So I said to him, "I'm not sure if my skin is entirely clear?" He said to continue treatment, and that my skin looked really good. I doubt a medical professional would do flattery to help a patient feel better, but if I'm being frank my skin is pretty bad still. So many people my age have near flawless skin, it feels shit regardless if there's been a big improvement.
I had serious medical issues as a teenager and a very clear face until I hit about 15-16. Combined with academic life being impacted and the stress it caused at home for my parents in addition to my sickness, my acne went untreated. My hygiene was shit in regard my to skin and my scratching caused a lot of scarring. It would suck to be like this for the rest of my life and pay for a treatment only to find out it has mild results. I just wish I could achieve the looks I want; for some reason I believe it might give me the confidence I seek. To have other men openly attracted to me. The real problem is probably that I'm gay, a nerd, and a little bit awkward. It's not common to find others.
I'm fucking spiraling here, so I'll cut this short. My message to other anons: it's never too late to start taking care of yourself, and you'll thank yourself when you do.

My mental issues are funny
First I’ll feel ok with myself
Then I’ll compare myself to some random girl
Then I’ll get dissociative because I’m kot like her
Then I’ll read up on trans experiences and feel disconnected again
Then I’ll drink coffee do my hair and clean my brows, shave and pluck, get a nice top and some cute jeans and feel good about myself.
Then I’ll go to bed abd wake up from some random nightmare and cry to bed because I remember the previous day and iwnbaw no matter what no matter how my brain will never be female and I’ll feel like shot for ever having a funny self care day. Then I’ll wake and type this.
It’s tiresome. I don’t take shit seriously, nothing I do had value. Im not gonna be anything but me.
I’m a fraud. Shame guilt and sin. I’m fucking pathetic. I wish I was different but let’s be honest…if it mattered to me I would be.
I’m sorry I’m just rumbling on.

>>37721355
What's the idea?

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>>37732082
I'm not telling. I know that Google, OpenAI, Meta, Airbus and various automotive companies, all the the major players are watching my every move. Decent try, kid. Better luck next time. I'm not spilling the beans.

>>37669844
blocked all socials last night as well as this website on my phone as my dysphoria has really been affecting my studying and making me just want to doom online. i was really worried choosing not to move out and continue manmoding would lead to me failing uni this year but i'll just keep trying my hardest to make sure its not the case. as for a good thing i've noticed the weight i've started putting on from pio in my face a little which has made me happy though im needing to pee all the time now T_T really hope the effects keep coming in. also starting counselling next week though my plan to girlmode to my sessions might not actuall happen :/

>>37733329
>blocked all socials last night as well as this website on my phone
seems to work great, keep winning

Bump
Gotta stop trying to help people who aren't receptive nor deserving of it and focus on number one instead

>>37735131
You really should
Some people aren’t worth it

>>37733245
I was asking so I can help you!

>>37735131
>>37735256
Agreed. Now stop making this thread.

>>37736044
>0.2 cents have been deposited in your Airbus™ savings account

How do you go about curing seasonal scalp psoriasis?

What happened to siganon

>>37739374
I talked to him a few weeks ago on instagram. He was going on about him contracting HIV so that's why he seems "off" lately. I told him to take prep but it seems he generally doesn't take his own advice.

Bump

Good night

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>>37739664
The perils of fucking random guys behind bus stops after helping strangers on the internet

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Pardon the long downtime everyone, things have been a bit tough, but will normalize more and more again soon. I'm grateful for your patience. For now: work work.
>>37739664
>insta
I certainly am more likely to catch an STD than I am of ever using something Zuck ma- had someone else make for him. But nah it was nothing that extreme.
>>37739374
It's sweet of you to ask, see above though, it will be okay.

to ever use*
I need a coffee..

>>37739374
we have overburdened his energy resources. everyday he is gone there are exponentially more vent posts than before.

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i posted in here three months ago to say that i was going to try and be brave and ask out another queer person and i got rejected and my life has only gone downhill since :(

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I've been experiencing some degree of success in framing the completion of tasks as more-so a "score attack" than a set of objectives — id est, to view it from the angle of "let it be seen what quantity of productive work can be achieved in this period of time", rather than as a bulleted check-list to be completed within said period.

>>37742099
Happens to the best of us.
>pic
I just got my anti-gaids pills for when I want to gay. I have other things in my life that make me not want to gay. Straighting is an even taller order. So no gay nor straight for a while.

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what 2 write about?

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It feels nice to be back, though I feel a little guilty I was absent for so long.
I was very much seeking R&R the past few days.
>>37704218
Welcome back Zdrada, it's good to have you. I wish you a swift recovery!
>I didn't have my seatbeat so i ate it bad.
Goodness gracious, Z! I'm glad you survived then!
>Thanks for sig for checking on me, I want to start working on my personal goals again.
I am glad to be there, even if I have been a quiet fucker, but it makes me happy to try and be there in the ways I can.
>>37706392
I can relate, my own past bitterness took years to turn candy. One of the good things about having felt what the pit is like is that we can empathize with those that are still clawing their way out.
>>37706710
I generally like that artist, he draws my favorite justice.
>>37706721
You are, I am proud of you, angel.

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>>37706731
> I hold back and when I dont I feel like people dont notice or care or move on from me.
Difficult, since I can't really imagine what you mean by holding back.. hm. But I suppose you probably feel a bit like an alien, maybe get too dark/self deprecating for some people? Am I reading the vibe right?
>yeah, I have some but...idk
in that case, there are a few things. First of all, the whole "letting yourself be assured" thing.
You seem to crave affection and appreciation from people, and you want to emotionally connect. That will need disentangling what people actually think from what you think they do (through asking). It will necessitate creating some opportunities for you to feel things. People have wildly different things they seek out in others. But.. for example, things like just vibing with someone else doing a thing that is nice not necessarily because of the thing itself but because you get to spend time with the other person can work.
>>37707548
> even those people from the chillest parts humiliate me and tell me to kms.
that's extremely shitty, unless the social context is extremely particular which it does NOT sounf like. Do they understand how it makes you feel? What general region are we talking about? Eastern europe maybe? What are your interests besides? What communities could you give a chance that may have regional rep? What have you tried on the finding people front? Do you pursue anything academic? Urban environment, rural? Pardon all the questions but I am just focusing on where you might meet people that will appreciate you "on site", so to say. You are most certainly not alone in being treated this way.
>>37711210
Oh shit, hope you didn't have to grapple with allergies on top! Great you tackled it, these things are a chore.
>>37711290
On a scale from 1 to 10, how terrible is it I use a bright theme for my terminal? Think along the lines of solarized light, yellowed paper look.

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By the way, Slay the Princess' Pristine cut is out. The DLC is free and has a fair bit extra dialogue and a new ending and whatnot, I look forward to it. A lot.
>>37714404
I am sorry to hear, I don't really get what the gymfags are seeing that I'm not but I also know that telling you that you pass well as far as I can tell is not helping. It is great you are taking good care of yourself, though.
>>37716779
They work for me, was there a server outage? If you still have issues then let me know, I can easily try other pastebin sites for trouble shooting.
>>37717696
What's up, anon?
>>37718322
Sometimes, shame can steer us away from bad impulses. That is something that we can make use of. It is so much better than the ways shame usually gets in the way of us getting better. You are doing great to resist, but if you feel overwhelmed emotionally you might need other means of catharsis. That can be a lot of things, from something physical like having something to destroy (paper) to artistic outlets, to crying... think about it, we have some resources on cutting alternatives, long lists.
>>37718358
>>37720019
if years of HRT didn't do much on the breast dev front you should urgently check what could be the cause of this, but yeah I 100% get that you feel incapable of progressing in your transition in a way that feels tangible. This is as far as i can tell unusual and needs urgent looking into as the other anon said, it could be something genetic or another issue. Blood levels, etc. I am sure you tried many things already, but that aside.. hm. do you have any people that are supportive of you in your life to help you ease the pain?
>>37718601
This is urgent, 100%. You need to alarm your loved ones. You had a partner, right? You don't live alone iirc, either. Is there a way to make an emergency appointment with your therapist? How come you haven't been in so long, I am sure there's something I forgot or am unaware of.

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Small break after this post.
>>37720063
Often when you are good at a thing and enjoy doing it the hard part is getting over the "I don't wanna do anything, let me rot" barrier. I think you know the feeling. At least it's kinda how I remember depression to affect me.
What helps is trying to rig the game, reduce friction. Example, wanna knit? Keep your knitting needles in reach that you can just joink them. Don't put things you wanna use more away neatly.
>>37720130
Maybe I am completely wrong but.. you can try expressing how thankful you are, that you don't know how to respond to it and that it is especially given that special to you to receive it. You get the idea? We can try by a concrete example of a kind thing you have been told.
>>37721355
The point is not necessarily to bring a project to completion. But having something to look forward to that you enjoy doing.
>>37721509
I agree with >>37722749 and wanna add that "complete" is always better than "perfect". You describe a kinda paralysis most people that are prone to perfectionism get. You wanna do something at least somewhat optimally and not suck at it, and so it feels like shit when you can't even parse all the information people throw at you passively. You might disagree that it's perfectionism, it's not quite the right word most likely, but you get the general idea I am conveying? You think I'm onto something?
>>37724216
Well, it is a bit of a nebulous goal. Do you already have people you wanna be more social with?
>>37724491
It sounds like you are making strides, doing your best within your limitations. I hope you feel that way too. I am happy for you, and I hope you keep pushing forward.
> It's kind of isolating never telling anyone about my past
yeah you definitely need to feel safe being open with people about it. I hope it comes easier over time. And I am so glad the anonymity of the net lets you at least talk to us about it.

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>>37730746
It definitely is not a thing derms do for funsies, flattery I mean. And you are absolutely right, it never is. I am glad you are fighting on.
>The real problem is probably that I'm gay, a nerd, and a little bit awkward.
to be fair, I find all of these characteristics charming, and I am far from the only one to.
Do you have peeps to train working against your awkwardness with?
>>37731427
It sounds like a constant back and forth between two states then?
>>37733329
You're doing well anon, hope the blocking helps where it counts, it is a great start!
>>37736141
kek, wasn't me actually.
>>37737873
if it is dryness then moisturizer etc afaik, or is it allergies?
>>37745470
Ahh, posing it as a challenge? I mean in that case I suppose you still have things laid out in actionable steps but essentially forsake the needless overhead of ordering, more like a bag of marbles than a queue?
>>37746618
adorable pic, and it depends, fiction you mean?

>>37747971
>You need to alarm your loved ones. You had a partner, right?
yeah i do, and they're great, but you might remember me saying before that their attempts at helping aren't the best because they can be kind of... i don't know, aggressive almost? that's not the right word, but the way they try to help makes me feel defensive as hell and that makes me not want to bring too much more attention to it. i love them to death and they're wonderful in every other way, but they're not the best at helping with this. my friends know, but no one seems too concerned so i can't imagine i'm at a point where i need to draw attention to it, not sure what they could even do for me in the first place because they're busy with their own lives.
>Is there a way to make an emergency appointment with your therapist?
i don't know honestly, probably? but they were part of how i wound up inpatient the first time, i don't think it's to that point, but i have anxiety that they'd overreact.
>How come you haven't been in so long, I am sure there's something I forgot or am unaware of.
i'm just too busy these days. i'm sure there's a part of me that doesn't do it because of anxiety, but i have so much going on currently that i can't justify spending the time it would take going to therapy.

>>37748783
>Ahh, posing it as a challenge?
Yes. In addition, this method bypasses a common pitfall of perfectionism: preparedness paralysis, as to which you've alluded in your previous post.

>>37748138
>I agree with >>37722749 and wanna add that "complete" is always better than "perfect". You describe a kinda paralysis most people that are prone to perfectionism get. You wanna do something at least somewhat optimally and not suck at it, and so it feels like shit when you can't even parse all the information people throw at you passively. You might disagree that it's perfectionism, it's not quite the right word most likely, but you get the general idea I am conveying? You think I'm onto something?
true yeah

>>37747546
>how terrible is it I use a bright theme for my terminal? Think along the lines of solarized light, yellowed paper look.
it's what our architect used, and I used it for a while too - it's less eyestrain-y in certain scenarios (lighting, screen size and orientation etc)
now I switched to dark mode during the day too, after I got an ocular migraine that left me unable to read for a short and worrying amount of time

>>37747971
>pic
I wish i had someone to take better care of me than what I'm doing right now

Good night

>>37753321
nn anon

>>37748783
>to be fair, I find all of these characteristics charming, and I am far from the only one to.
You think? I do not have that magical and magnetic personality like some people. My first impressions are not strong. I am awkward and all over the place sometimes. laconic with people I am unfamiliar with. Some people say I give off straight vibes which makes it hard. There's a flamboyant and intense conflagration burning under that stoic façade though.
>Do you have peeps to train working against your awkwardness with?
People at uni? The occasional rando I meet online playing games? Friends online? I make small talk in classes because I like to learn about other people's lives, but being in a field that is sort of antisocial most people don't care to progress past that or even start with that. I'm too afraid to ask anything sometimes. Other times I go a little overboard, don't know when to stop asking questions. Everyone in my program sits in the same spot everyday and hardly mingles outside their cliques. I see the same familiar faces, yet hardly know any of them. I am vocal in class compared to other students. Some of the other people seem interesting, yet I don't engage unless we're captive in some sort of group activity. There's one guy, who I had in my class last semester who is cute. He probably doesn't even know I exist, with exception to seeing me in the classroom asking/answering questions of a professor and one time awkwardly running into his friends in the elevator and I fucking ran out on the wrong floor, only to have one of the guys say, "Hey, aren't you in the same class with us?" and my sheepish, "Oops, yes!" as I rushed back into the elevator. Uh, embarrasingly, I had a dream about him that we were exploring some eerie labyrinthian crypt and holding hands. It's fucking weird considering I don't know him, but eh. Being gay sucks. I don't even know if he's bent too.

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>>37753326
gn anons

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My supervisor is finally gone. He's a nice guy, but he sometimes goes on and on about inane shit for LITERAL HOURS

bump

>>37754469
i feel that picture

help please im nearly 30 and have tried HRT twice through my 20s and could never stick to it because the physical changes give me so much anxiety and can't tolerate it

i hate femininity so much i cant stand the feeling of it and i hate all the people who live happily within its sphere of influence

i wish i could just lobotomize myself and be happy but instead my soul is rotten and my psychiatric meds dont work and all i have is pain

please help

t. repper (or is it detranser at this point?)

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>>37669844
Answering the goal question.
>Name a personality trait you value in other people
Being funny, or better yet, thinking I'm funny as all hell. I have great memories of softball where my teammate laughed at every joke I came up with. It made me so happy.
I also like a talkative person.

Things can get better chat

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Hi /sig/, Panty here.

I have some good news to share.

I ended up walking over 100 miles (160 km) last month and so far this month on my daily walks. After being able to walk 7,000 steps a day for every day of September, I looked up how much a person should walk each day. I found that 10K steps per day was still considered ideal for the average adult. In general the more you walk each day, the better it is for your health, and after 10K the benefits level off.

So I decided to work my way up to 10K a day. I upped my goal to 8K steps a day for October, and I’ve managed that so far.

I’ve also lost about 15 lbs (or about 7 kg) since I started weighing myself regularly in late August.

I got a haircut earlier this month. Just a trim for hair health to start. My mom had a hair appointment and I went with her, and my mom’s stylist didn’t have a problem cutting my hair as well.

I’ve been vacuuming the house every week, and I started brushing my parents’ cat every day, since the main thing the vacuum picks up is pet hair.

Oh, and I’ve been cleaning out my phone’s camera role. I’ve organized most of my photos into files on my phone, and deleted a good chunk altogether. Went from having about 10,000 camera roll pics to a few hundred. I’m planning on printing a few favorite photos for a scrapbook.

Socializing has not been going well, unfortunately. A friend invited me to a transgender support group meeting, and I had an awful time. I know me being uncomfortable around older, more clockable transitioners is just me being insecure about my appearance and them being at peace with theirs, but it was no fun just the same.

Likewise, I get that it could be a comfort to talk to other transwomen who also understand your concerns about discrimination and bigotry, but for me it was just depressing to talk to people who were equally afraid of the same things.

>>37702790
>Hell yes anon, do tell me how it went!
it went super fine, he seems to be a lot more happy to see him now and we did a fist bump tonight when I saw him. My gaydar pings him as 100% straight but I think I made a friend today

Tonight's dish is chicken fried rice, featuring eggs, mixed vegetables, chili peppers, curry powder, and a drizzling of honey... cooked to the point of near-burning, as a result of chicken-specific contamination anxiety and a distrust of my food thermometer.

>>37669852
shut up tranny

woah bump

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>>37669844
I want to kiss the OG sig creator

Good night

>>37758230
They can indeed

>>37747253
>I generally like that artist, he draws my favorite justice.
Is justice your fav?

>>37747546
>But I suppose you probably feel a bit like an alien, maybe get too dark/self deprecating for some people? Am I reading the vibe right?
Sorta
I just have a hard time speaking my mind. I feel that what i have to say will be wrong and hurtful often because of my differences in experiences. Yes alien is right.

>>37748783
>It sounds like a constant back and forth between two states then?
Im slowly breaking the cycle
But the truth is I am still going from "happy haha lets do stuff Ilike and doing stuff I like makes me happy" to "oh right nothing matters I will never be a real human being"
Progress is slow and honestly not even that feels right
Idk rn

>>37669844
went back to school, everyone gender me correctly, making girl friends and one rly rly good one.
After 1 month of being seen as a women actually started to think that i might pass.
Lying in bed with my now bestie, this is so comfortable i love female friendship woaw.

it does get better

Thus begins another uneventful weekend
I pray it ends quickly

Let's do this