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I wanna be a girl.

>>37692517
My biggest fantasy is that I’m just a normal woman with a group of friends and we get along and they don’t have to pretend to tolerate me for wokepoints or whatever. Nothing sexual, just hangin out.

can you actually remove your adams apple with surgery

>>37692911
Yeah being a girl sounds nice. Being able to talk about your feelings without being called a faggot. Having a decent support network. Being allowed to cry when your sad. Having platonic physical connection to people.

>>37693267
it's called a tracheal shave. I think it's pretty effective? Not as good as being a youngshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huGd4efgdPA

agp song

>>37693610
Imagine your 9 year old daughter listening to this.

>>37693617
doesn't really bother me that much. I would rather my kids be sexually liberated. But I would want her to be 13 or so before this kind of shit.

>>37692844
I agree

>>37693610
you should listen to tarkus by emerson lake and palmer that song's much better

AGPs be honest, how many of you are MAPs?

>>37694527
I want to be a little girl but that's not a sexual thing I just want another chance at life where I got to be socialised as the correct gender.

>>37692517
So, I have AGP. How do I cure it? Nofap and no fantasizing? How do i start to be okay with how i look, that im not femme, and get a real sexuality? im serious about moving past this now

>>37695439
So, I'm gay. How do I cure it? Nofap and no fantasizing? How do i start to be okay with never being with another man and get a real sexuality? im serious about moving past this now

>>37695279
but why do you literally want to be a little girl? like do you want to transform into a little girl right now or do you want to start your lif completely over and, essentially, die?

>>37695484
but being AGP is perverted and wrong. I look like a man, and im not trans. its so different than being gay, which is accepting yourself and how you look and being genuinely attracted to other people

>>37695569
yes but you cant get rid of it :(

>>37695575
Okay, but how? I've masturbated everyday since I was 13. And for some god forsaken reason I used she/her for the past 4 years online, although I wouldn't describe that part as being sexual in nature. More so just pretending I wasn't myself and using it as a way to freely express myself, and how I truly felt without being limited by my ogre like masculine body.

How do I get rid of AGP and come to terms with how I look? I need to move on from this and heal.

>>37695594
wow yeah this is actually pretty similar to me, but i ended up a luckshit. it's a sexuality so there isn't really any way of getting rid of it. you can attempt to integrate your female persona into yourself and cope with your sexuality, but it will always be there.

>>37695631
I don't remember having it till I was 19? I've thought it was OCD for a very long time even now perhaps. I can't even be a femboy because I'm 24 and very ugly :'/

im trying to not jerk off by the past 3 days and been incredibly suicidal due to lack of hope, and things to look forward to

>>37695649
LMAO i also thought i had tocd. wtf. i even had panic attacks over it.. i bet ur not that ugly though. i mean, a ftm with a beard and no female facial fat can pass well, but under all of that is something female typical. maybe its just bdd?

>>37695681
Ya, I've had BDD since forever. Literally since I was a tiny kid and I saw a picture of myself, then at 15 it got so horrifically bad. How do I solve BDD? The past three days I've been having massive attacks/breakdowns based on how I look. It's gotten very real now without jerking off and fantasy to suppress it.

>>37695695
idk :( i have it, too. i would even measure myself obsessively to calm my ocd in the past and that helped? like if you fall into the averages that arent male you at least cant argue it, even if it all just looks so over and too big

>>37695712
well, the bad bits are

im 5'11'5
my eyes are lopsided
i have bid shoulders (although this doesnt hurt me too much now, since ive seen twinks with broad shoulders and its whatever so i dont actually include this)
MY FACE IS MASSIVE AND SQUARE
I HAVE A HUG FRENCH NOSE
those are the worst parts...

but ill do other OCD things to. like, the other day I sat in my chair durning an episode and repeated "and she sits down" because I was torturing myself trying to imagine what it was like to be my female friend at a family holiday and my brain got upset at the thought of her sitting in a chair or something?? It was so bad that in a discord VC after she said she went to this family holiday I had to leave the call after 20 seconds since i felt so nauseated

but ill do stuff like spin around or touch doornobs or my nose or have to repeat things or check things alot too..

but my main pain is my physical body. its funny when i imagine myself as a girl im happy. i can enjoy drinking tea or playing a game, i actually get enjoyment from things and want to do things and live. while now i get literally 0 enjoyment from anything. but i know im not transgender :( i cant be a bottom sexually either cause of my body. i cant live

>>37695712
also. specifically what kept me up last night, was this horror like thought that i see myself as being cute, small, feminine, but everyone else sees me as being a man. even if they love me, they wont love ME. they will love a man. if i wear a dress (hypothetically i dont care too much about dresses) theyd see a man in a dress, not me, my person in a dress. even if they say im attractive, or handsome (throws up) its all wrong because im not my body. and it maeks me so sad to see my friends like how they look, and alot of them are trans so they just know that they are girls, or they just accept themselves and can live how they really feel. and i cant cause im not trans im not a femboy im not a man.

>>37695764
>>37695809
yah no trust me i get it. i felt lioke even the most mundane things actually had meaning if i didnt have to be a man anymore and always felt such extreme anxiety if i wasnt, like it was exhausting to keep playing the act rather than being natura. i was always policing my body and thoughts in a similar way where i had to do them over again to relieve the anxiety of my "tocd", but it was never more ritualistic than that like with doornobs :x your face and height arent over though. you can get ffs for a lot of that :)

>>37695809
and yeah its really painful knowing that you arent actually being you. its like you cant actually connect with anyone intimately because you're curating too much of your personality for there to be any vulnerability. this is why you should try to integrate your female side rather than shame it OR transition

>>37695841
But,.. I'm not trans. I want to be trans. I've thought about HRT and FFS and I'd love to know that I'm trans so I could begin the process and put in the work, despite however I look now. But the honest truth is, I'm not trans. I just wish I was. So I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am, what I what, or what to do. I've lived in fantasy.

>>37695871
even if you arent, wouldnt you obviously feel so much better if you didnt have to be a man anymore? you wouldnt even need to call yourself trans, youre just doing it to feel better about yourself. it is more complicated if you cant pass though..

>>37695902
I wouldn't pass, but if I was trans I sorta wouldn't care. I'd be able to accept reality and move forward.

And I've thought about being 70, looking back, and saying "oh, even though i wasnt, i wish I just got on HRT and said yolo". Part of me wishes I got on HRT when I was late 19- early 20 when I first felt this way.

But the truth is, I dont think im trans.

I want to accept reality and put in the work to get better and heal. I just have no idea whats true or who i really am.

right now all i know is im trying to not self harm, jerk off, drink caffine, or eat bad food. ive watched some healthygamer gg videos and ive been trying to get better. but im so clueless and lost. I want to know who i am so i can put in the work.

thats why i say i wish i was trans. so then id have a plan of action. and then i could accept who i am. right now, im just a boy who used to fantasy about being a girl. and who wishes he looked like a girl. im, or was, honestly a freak. im disgusting. im an ogre. i want to put in the work for 6 months and if i see nothing ill neck myself because even the thought of someone talking to me and having my body be on the other side, being preceived, is so horiffic.

im 24.

>>37695902
like, even though im not trans, if i could just push a button and become a girl, i would. but it feels wrong to transition when im not really a girl. its also crazy to me that so many people just roll a 50/50 rng dice and are totally okay with being a man or a woman and huge parts of their personality and just decided seftghniopserpjiog sedjniofghbokifdh AHHHHHHHHH

>>37695961
mauybe you should try rolling that dice? i had similar brainworms pretrans too (i started at almost 23) and it ended up working out for me, but i spent SOO much time just boymoding and doing only hrt because i thought that, even if i could look like one and act like that, i am not one deep down. i wasnt raised like one and i was really depressed for most of my teenage years, coping by pretending to be a girl online and not knowing why really. but what i had to accept is that no brainscans or my lack of childhood memories were going to TELL me whether i was a real "trutrans" or not. you have to do it if you feel like your life isnt worth living without it... it DOESNT MATTER if you are really trans or not. you might NOT be, but you WILL be happier and you dont have to know why for sure.

>>37695995
it's funny cause, if i could just look like a girl, in a way, id just be a girl. and id be totally happy and i could live then. but im not trans, and ill never look like one so, i might as well kms.

and its like you said, i have no childhood signs or memories, and no brainscans, so im a preverted freak compared to my real trans friends who just know they are girls and who are doing hrt when theyre 19, 20, compared to me, an ogre at 24. old man. hon. and yeah, i pretended to be a girl online without knowing why really either, it just sorta happened. even finding hte trans community was an accident afterwards...


i dont think HRT is the answer/ my body doesnt alolw it and im not trans. also do to canada id start it at like 25 or 26 most likely lmao

>>37695995
i need to heal. i dont think entertaining this trans idea is healing. im not trans.

>>37696026
>no brainscans
no tranny has brain scans that show they're a tranny, you retard
you're just a coward and that's why wanting to be a woman for years isn't enough for you to start trooning
whatever, keep repping
>t. trooned late, at 23, after successfully pretending to be a guy until 17, even dating a girl, and breaking down at 18

>>37696058
it's agp, not being trans. i only got it after jerking off. combined with my bdd

>>37696032
i dont know.. its your choice. but you should at least just get on HRT. there's DIY for that and its cheaper and easier to get. you dont have to be a girl or trans, but if you hate your body, try and fix it. you arent trans, but you dont have to be an ogre at least. just don't tell anybody

>>37696064
agp IS trans btw. it's literally just men trapped in mens bodies. actually being a woman is mostly just a meme, but you can come close to being one if you put the effort into passing. like 95% of this board is AGP or AGAMP.

>>37696064
>it's agp, not being trans
you're saying you only wish you looked like a woman and were treated like a woman in bed?
>i only got it after jerking off
uh-huh
and how old were you when you started being fascinated with the idea of being turned into a girl? what were your earliest Google searches like? Were they "big boobs" or "boy turned into a girl"?

>>37696084
I would say 97-99 percent. AGP is not an evil thing and all m trans women who are attracted to femininity have AGP

>>37696073
This is my main problem, my brain is totally fried. I just want the clarity of, say, "Okay, I'm trans - Even though I don't like X, Y, Z, Since I know what I am, and what I want, and who I am, I can put in the effort and work to try to improve."

HRT worries me about infertility, but me being a dad, or a husband, makes me want to throw up.

I just have peter pan AGP. Unironically. How do I heal past peter pan AGP OCD BDD?

>>37696064
If your agp is overwhelming then you transition. If it is manageable you don’t. Being agp is the only cause of transition among males who are not homosexual

>>37696098
i think my very first google searches were "vegeta goku big cock" and "why do boys like big butts". am i a fakegp?

>>37696098
I wish I was feminine, small, young, and cute. Mainly. But yes, I wish i looked like a girl. Really any girl. of course id like to look like me as a girl, or someone who was cute.

im a bottom in bed, so either a femboy or girl would work. but its weird because my sexuality is AGP, so in a way im only attracted to myself... but also not

maybe around 17-18 I started having OCD thoughts of like "What is it like to be a girl attracted to men" Or "what is it like to be a girl sucking dick and desiring that and enjoying it" and i was raised conservative so just trying to understand what it would be like to be a girl doing anything sexual. then around 19 i pretended to be a girl on the YT comments for like, no reason at all. i dont konw why, i just did. then i pretended to be a girl on 4chan (mostly just in my head) then i accidently met trans people on twitch and i pretended to be a girl there too... and it made me feel good to have people even use they/them for me. never really did sissy porn at all, just have been a chronic masturbater instead. even when i was young, id try to suck my own dick and stuff, maybe around 14.

>>37695871
>i wish i was trans so i could take hrt
idk if yk but this was a very popular meme some time ago here, for a good reason

>>37696165
i dont feel like a girl on the inside. after i jerk off i feel nothing

>>37696141
seeing you troon out in a 7-9 years will be sweet as fuck, not gonna lie
reppers going "holy shit I was such a retard and a coward, I wanna kms" is very gratifying (because I was like this but less of a pussy than most reppers)

>>37696109
may I suggest hrt for a few months
>worries me about infertility
that Powers vid had him saying he basically didn't have problems getting mtf tranners to be fertile, usually stopping hrt for a bit, some clomid to get things started, and bob's your uncle
>but me being a dad, or a husband, makes me want to throw up.
>im not trans
goncern
>>37696180
>after i jerk off i feel nothing
well this part is promising, at least

>>37695871
literally who fucking cares? you are alive. do whatever the fuck you want.

>>37693610
Is this seriously what zoomers are listening to nowadays?
Wtf? Where did the taste go?

:( i need to heal and die. mental reset

>>37693610
that sabrina carpenter bimbo is pretty great
watch one song and you could be feeling like her for many days

I'm going to go on nofap, no sugar, no caffeine, no self harm for a month and see where that takes me. I won't indulge in fantasy either. see where that takes me. hopefully suicide. i hate how i look. my sexuality. and that i feel nothing

>>37692517
>>37696018

>>37696294
what kinda aesthetic do you imagine they have

What I don't get are these weird OCD thoughts.

For example, I'll see a girl wearing a skirt and my brain will just click and go "There's a girl wearing a skirt, she's a girl, she's a girl, she's a girl. she wears a skirt. she is wearing a skirt. she is a girl so she can wear a skirt. i cant wear a skirt. she is wearing a skirt. if she went outside people would go WOW! she is wearing a skirt. nobody would care. she is wearing a skirt. my friend went to a party. she went to a party. she was a girl. she went to a party. she enjoys going to the party. she can dance and enjoy the music. maybe she'll have sex"

I think its some weird madonna whore-OCD-AGP- peter pan thing?

anyone else had this? i get randomly triggered by things and have big meltdowns like this, just over say, hearing that a girl went to a party or that my friend had a drink or bought some clothes or enjoyed played a board game or went to the mall....

>>37696510
why not transition?
t. tranny girl who sometimes wears skirts, goes to parties, dances, and has sex

>>37696522
The main reasons are, as you know

1.) I'm not trans
2.) I have AGP
3.) I'd never pass
4.) I don't know who i am.

yadda yadda

5.) im too old, 24, so even if i became a girl i will have missed out on everything

i feel like my brain is all fucked and third person, probably from porn. im not sure im even a bottom or just turned on by the idea of actually being a bottom and enjoying that when i dont really.. twitter hurts me alot too with the transgirl oomf stuff

>>37696294
Good forced meme. But I use the term “Lynn Conway type” for meta-attracted straight trannies.

And “Wendy Carlos type” for the mysterious “asexual” AGP.

>>37696510
I have had OCD for many years where I would just think the word “girl” without any context or meaning attached to it. I didn’t connect it to being trans and I assumed it was because I was attracted to girls.

https://youtu.be/WpoYqs9Hsa4?si=KHdYJ9IObX-iAcSW

did transition make your life better?

>>37696642
what about meta attracted cds

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>ywn be a subtly bogged qt bimbo like sabrina or sydney sweeny

Sigh... Watching his videos makes me want to transition. Watching or talking about anything makes me want to transition. I just need time to clear my head, then I'll make the right choice.

https://youtu.be/-xqPVxsFdP4?si=D32Kf9NgEtDdcbVq

this video is a must watch btw.

>>37697513
>society so fucked trooning is as simple as starting a new enterprise

>>37697660
i still dont feel great after watching it :( it gave me a bit of hope but im still very lost. he did say something about how logical calculations wont fix anything, and how you need emotional regulation. so hopefully going on nofap and calming down will help with that

>>37693544
what does it do to your voice

>>37697739
I don’t think it does anything, there is a surgery called VFS tho and from what I’ve seen it makes your voice sound like a cis girl’s

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>>37698279
nah i just want a neckline like this while still maintaining my cis male 'facade' ;)

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Sorry APGers, it has been decided you all will be married off. The van will be picking you up this afternoon.

>>37697739
it doesn't do anything to your voice. I'm not sure what purpose an adam's apple serves

>>37696259
song recommendation?

>>37699729
espresso is quite popular in pmv circles

>>37699854
ok, I heard about that one because ariana did a spoof of it (I love ari)

uh, what is pmv

>>>/v/692396208
lmao

>>37700428
beautiful

>>37698780
giwtwm