I wish I was born a normal girl…feeling sick watching T develop my body and not knowing why, just knowing there was nothing i could do, realizing i was trans and almost killing myself over it because of the environment i was raised in, then after finally accepting myself and having to wait years to start hrt, then starting at 20 coming to the realization that my natal puberty has caused irreparable harm to my body forever impacting the way ill be perceived. its debilitating and i dont know if ill ever fully recover from the “trans experience”. i was born a cis girl. i wish those were my struggles instead of the ones i have. i wish i could be a cis man too, really anything but this, but i cant, its this or nothing and its the worst thing ever. I hate being a girl, i hate being a girl in this body, i hate seeing my cisf peers and looking down at myself knowing that b/c of the way my bones developed i will NEVER be like them, i will always have to compensate, i will always have to work 10x harder for my womanhood, all while theres a culture war being waged against me, as if my daily battles arent hard enough, i have to worry that maybe one day the world really will turn on me, maybe one day i wont have my medication anymore, maybe one day theyll make me detrans and ill have to kill myself. I cant stand when people say things like “some cis women struggle with a large rib cage/broad shoulders/brow bone/big hands” because at the end of the day THEIR VALIDITY AS A WOMAN IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE! THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE BORN AS A WOMAN! BUT IF I MESS UP ONCE IT WILL FOREVER RUIN PEOPLES PERCEPTION OF ME AND IT KILLS ME. IT FUCKING KILLS ME THAT MY WOMANHOOD IS UP TO PUBLIC OPINION, DEBATE! I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS! I WOULDNT WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY! IM NOT A BOY PLAYING DRESS UP! AND I NEVER WAS!! IM NOT AN IDEOLOGY IM NOT A FETISH! THIS IS A STUPID FUCKING BIRTH DEFECT AND ITS REAL! I WOULD NEVER CHOOSE THIS! NEVER!!i wish i was born a cis girl tbqh
>>37710539yeah it’s rough anon
>>37710539I ask myself everyday what i did to deserve to be punished like this
And this is why I like trans women. Call me a chaser Idc, but this makes them so extremely loveable
>>37710539very relatable post. every day we have to shoulder this burden. i have so much respect for transwomen who bear this burden with dignity. i aspire to fix myself as much as I can, but the truth is we are deformed, broken and scarred even in the best case. at least we have legs. at least we have brains. get the most you can out of love, despite how deformed we are.
>>37710539someone here told me sharing that schizo images is very malebrained and it indicates clear male socialization <3 so you are male brained
>>37710539malebrained meltdown desu
>>37712330>>37712573attentionwhoring bpd posters are malebrained now?
>>37712330>>37712573did you miss the part about the environment i was raised in leading me to wanting to kill myself when i made the realization? yeah i was male socialized hard. i got to play with dolls and get my hair and nails done with my sister until it was no longer "cute" and I started getting laughed at, then i was forced into sports by my parents (ended up playing 2/3 competitively) and bullied by my classmates and teammates into being more masculine. and the cycle repeated and any time i tried to break away from traditional “maleness” i'd be put back in my place, i cried so hard when i was forced to cut my long hair at 11, i cried so hard when my sister made fun of me for still liking feminine things at 10. ended up indoctrinated into the far right by 13 and it took years of unlearning everything i learned from my family, my peers, and the internet to actually accept my condition. then i come out to my mom and shes all "yeah that makes sense i remember when you were 6 and i told you you could never carry a baby you had a completely unexpected meltdown and no matter how much i told you how important the dads role was and your part in the creation of life your devastation was about never being able to be a mother specifically" i know im trans because its so obvious, because their have been signs all my life, its just part of my biology. but yeah i also know how terrible male socialization has been for me and the impact it'll have on me long term.>>37712330also you ever consider you might've been told that because people just find these annoying and want to deter people from writing and posting them? my first girlfriend was the one who introduced me to schizo images as a way to represent her womanhood and she was cis.
>>37712703always was, xister>>37712876holy malebrained can u pls stfu alrdy
>>37710539how long have you been on hrt for
>>377131118 months, after knowing i was trans for 3 years and questioning my gender and sexuality for 5, gp wouldnt prescribe me anything so i had to go on a waitlist for 2 years to see a specialist. just learned my specialist is under dosing me too now and its actually almost too much for me to take at this point.
>>37710539ur probably a passoid tho cause it’s always them who post shit like this so I don’t care
>>37713093no<3
>>37713193yeah that checks out. you'll get over it the further you get into hrt, because you have to.
>>37710539u were born right, if u were trutrans u wouldn’t have masculinized
>>37713203im not:(i am privileged tho i wont deny that, im attractive by male standards and i have ffs covered under my parents insurance. im also privileged enough to be in higher education so im still able to use it and ill hopefully be getting that soon. but unfortunatly i have a bit of an ogre build, im 5'7 but my ribcage shoulders, and skull are huge
>>37713239i think we call those people intersex anon...
>>37712330>>37712330>>37713093>>37713239You’re all retards it’s melting my brainAnyways OP don’t worry you’re a real woman, now c’mon and post an unsee let’s see your tits.
>>37713241If you can get ffs pretty much for free you literally have nothing to worry about unless your shoulders are like 19 inches or your skull is top 5% for men
>>37713994haha...its funny because that's exactly what it is! good guesses!
>>37713241big soph 2 electric boogaloo
>>37714300im a marxist leninist now and my far right radicalization was only focused on trans people because of internalized issues :3well and economics but then i went to business school and took some economics classes so im not a dumbass anymore :) and i dont wanna be soph pls no shes so annoying...;-;
>>37710539Holy shit y'all zoomers need to calm down. Not to play oppression olympics or anything, but I realized I was trans and transition around my 35th birthday and my long-term gf doesn't pass despite all the surgeries. I get all this. But it gets better. We're doing well.I know its hard, but you gotta learn to calm down, meet some trans elders (people who have lived as trans for 5+ years. Especially if they're from a rural area, BIPOC and/or physically disabled and a few bonus points for not passing), attend meet-ups, and so on. Actually do more than that; meet cis woman allies, find trans men, maybe, spend time in gay spaces. Beat the loneliness and be cautious about it, cuz if you don't do both of those in time, there is actually a risk you could get sucked into becoming part of a close-minded clique.That all said, you should also know that eventually you'll need to grow back into the normies world once your getting more comfortable with yourself. I'm currently at that stage, and ngl, its... kinda hard. But I know I'll get through it and I'm making so much progress.Its always dark before the dawn. Remember that; It's important in my experience.
>>37712018Wow that's creepy af dude.
>>37714414oh wait electric boogaloo the dance...not boogaloo the far right extremist movement...ignore me turns out i am still an idiot
>>37714414i'm sorry anon i didn't mean anything by it past ffs + ventposting, if you want some actual advice then you should know this is a common sentiment among trans women. you are in a period of your life where you are grieving both the life you have lost and your life in the future; it's difficult, to say the least. yet, you will keep living. life is a river that will continue to flow. it is better to look ahead than to reminisce about the unfixable. your suffering is a part of who you are today.
>>37714468yeah idk i dont really find i relate to people in "lgbtq" spaces all that much...literally the only point of doing this is to pass and live my life as i was supposed to, i dont really get into all that gender expression stuff thats never been me and it never will be. i have a medical condition and it needs to be treated i dont need to "find a community with other trans people" i have plenty of cis friends who i relate to on things that arent being trans. the only thing that will "fix me" is passing. and if i cant do that ill get therapy for "radical acceptance" or whatever and if that doesnt work then who knows...but yeah medical stuff comes first then maybe ill do this
>>37714584ill do my best...thanks<3
>>37710539if you hate being a woman so much why are you cosplaying one?
>>37715458despite what they tell you on reddit you cant choose your gender.if i wasnt a woman i wouldnt be doing any of this, i wouldnt put up with it
>>37710539as a cis gay dude I have this fantasy of knowing a stoic gender dysphoric male that I can befriend and gradually turn into my boyfriend, I just think I like the idea of having a guy I can give love to and feeling that somehow im "fixing him", I know that he'll always will have a tranny brain that gives him dysphoria but I like the idea of giving will to live by having someone that likes them
>>37710539>>37716152WAIT HOLD ON YOU ARE FEMALEI thought you were a mtf repper cuz I just read the first sentencesmy bad, nevermind
>>37710539>>37716152>>37716224WAIT AGAIN im confused, turns out you are actually a mtf but you are already on hrt ughhhhhh
>started at 20shit thread, come back when you actually have something to complain about.
>>37716152>>37716224>>37716288what the fuck is wrong with you anon. go be a predatory moid somewhere else. or actually dont because it sounds like you want to ruin some poor girls life and only chance at happiness. youre a bad person. also where did all this confusion come from?
>>37716704I just read the first sentences and I thought you were a mtf (which is right) but then I read some more lines and because you were referring to yourself as cis girl I thought you were ftm and regreting taking T and then I read it all and turns out you are in fact mtfalso dont call me predatory moid that's so mean I just want a bf that I can manage and make him depend of me but I swear I wont be abusive towards that hypothetical mtf repper bf
>>37716346we all struggle differently...puberty basically ruined me by 14...please dont be mean and dismissive when you dont even really know me...i have really masculine genes ...fucking bitter lateshit...
>>37716757you want me to know you? post pictures then.oh you won't? who would have guessed, but of course not, because then we would have to stop paying you attention!calling anyone a "lateshit" tells me the rest of all there is to know about you.sage, go die in a fire.
>>37716743oh ya youre right i said "i was born a cis girl" instead of "i wish i was born a cis girl" oops didnt even notice i missed a word therei wish i was born a cis girl*there all fixed. and no matter how much like a man he looks you'd still be dating a woman anon. gay card revoked.
>>37716804NOOOO REPPERS ARE JUST PECULIAR MALES AND WE'LL BE A GAY COUPLE IF HE TRIES TO TROON OUT IM DOING CRIME
>>37716796dont cry sweetheart...it must've been so hard for you to start later in life, really it mustve been hell, i know how much pain i deal with so i can only imagine your anguish. i can tell all this anger is coming from a place of deep interal pain which makes total sense considering your situation. i have no idea who sage is or whatever your attention comment means regarding me posting pictures, but can you really blame me for reacting negatively when you tried to dismiss me so quickly? again i know it comes from a place of your own hurt and insecurities so i wont blame you for your little outburst or take it personally. I hope you can heal and find peace anonette you deserve happiness <3
>>37716904why are you assuming i'm both a late started and not passing? what makes you think i'm mtf in the first place? is this what it takes for you to feel better about yourself? dunking on people who have it even worse than you?i swear to god, people like you are the reason there is no solidarity amongst trans people. i hope you all just kill yourselves and let the people who are confident in their passing take over. this is a disgrace to look at, and nobody wants it.sage and hide
>>37716346>>37716980excuse me but you came on here saying i was invalid and didnt have real problems because i started at 20, that me venting this invalid pain made a shit thread. who the fuck would comment this but someone like that? someone bitter. someone who thinks their pain supersedes mine because they have it worse. im not “dunking on people who have it even worse than me” im responding to the tone of your comments specifically. who tf are you to make me out to be some villain who tears the trans community apart. nothing in anything i said was attacking anyone until you attacked me, i actually do have a ton of empathy for people who have it worse than me and im always quick to acknowledge the privileges that im fortunate enough to have. and i do feel bad for you if my assumptions are correct. it doesnt make you any less of a bitch tho and i stand by my passive aggressive tone. why tf would you even comment something like that wtf is wrong with you.also still dont know what sage means.
>>37717126every day i have to endure shit souls like you getting washed up on here instead of enjoying the little tasty bits that rarely show themselves. post yourself or GTFOyou're incredibly lucky they're worth enduring this shit to me.and no, immediately jumping to dunking on a supposed late transitioner under the guise of "empathy" as you call it does not make you a good person.now 1) get out or 2) post ass so i can at least masturbate, not that i would ever marry someone so messed up though people like you scare all the valuable cuties away.
>>37717126Lurk moar newfagReally tho she’s basically downvoting you stopping her comments from bumping your thread
>>37710539> BUT IF I MESS UP ONCE IT WILL FOREVER RUIN PEOPLES PERCEPTION OF MEEveryone perceives you as a freak mentally ill man pretending to be a woman, and nothing can change that. Even when someone “passes” it just means normies are being nice . In reality everyone can see through it and finds it unsettling
>>37717189youre a funny girl lol. whyd you even reply with that comment to invalidate my pain in the first place? or do you really not have an answer for that because it kinda goes against your moral grandstanding as the hero telling the evil tranny to kill herself... why are you letting me fill your mind at all? its the internet just stop responding.
sucks to be you lol
>>37717241are you retarded? i literally just told you i'm sick of retards like you not even posting themselves so at least i could jerk off.
>>37717231genuinely i dont think youre totally correct on this. if i dont really pass as youre implying with this comment most people will just see me as something that isnt really a man or a woman, but a "mentally ill freak" just isnt the reception ive gotten from anyone. idk i just find most cis people categorize semi passing trans people into a third gender rather than forcing their minds to box them into one or the other. if i acted or looked like a freak totally agree this is the reception id get but overall from those i interact with in real life it just doesnt go that way. of course if i passed well enough to stealth it wouldnt even matter ofc id just been seen as a woman thats obvious
>>37717299Not everyone can be a woman. Just accept and love yourself.
>>37717258yeah kinda over it tho tbqh, went out and got my nails done with some friends after a horrible dysphoric morning and now my spirits pretty much lifted. turns out just having a normal day at the mall with my cisf friend then going home and having an everything shower was enough to cure my mental state for now. as usual touching grass and having a social life fixed things. sure i still had my dysphoric moments but it was a lot easier to cope with since it was people who met me girlmoding and still liked me.
>>37717321ive gotten this a lot and like, i have a misalignment between my brain and my body that causes me intense distress that i fix by being a woman. its physically impossible to accept myself any other way it'd be like telling an ugly cis girl to take t and accept that she'd never be a woman either. i address this by transitioning or i kms pretty much.
>>37717346I'm glad you have people who let you live out your playtime!>>37717369Killing yourself is always an option if you can't pass.
>>37717392ill wait until my medical transition is fully complete before i consider roping again. and how is a self care day playtime?
>>37717409>how is cosplaying playtime
you should name/tripfag make yourself identifiable here. you sound kind of mentally deranged and we’d love another girl like you around newfag. what are your diagnosis bipolar or bpd? also post pics and add in gens.
>>37717495My guess is undiagnosed BPD
>>37717495>>37717536i dont have either. the only things im diagnosed with are gad adhd and gd. im basically mentally fine.
>>37717570but do you LOOK fine?
>>37717536also there is no way i have bpd. im fine.im not making myself identifiable either that sounds like a horrible idea.>>37717580yeah i look okay enough lol, at least okay enough for me to be able to feel confident to show my face in public and dress fem. but yeah i know i wont be happy with myself or really be able to start my life properly until ffs.
>>37717612so you really don't have any problems at all, thanks for proving my point from earlier.
>>37717625ARE YOU STILL THAT SAME PERSON?! LMAO "you're incredibly lucky they're worth enduring this shit to me" YOURE NOT ENDURING SHIT YOURE SEAKING IT OUT
>>37717464id say cosplay is playtime! its definitely a seemingly fun hobby a lot of people enjoy. maybe id try it some day if i get enough money. still not sure what this has to do with my day tho?
>>37717650i'm not seeking this out, this is an unfortunate waste productnow post pics or GTFO
>>37717764again i have no idea what you’re talking about, waste product? you keep responding.anyways how gullible do you think? obviously i’m not gonna post pics
>>37717820either you're trolling or actually mentally retardedgullible not, but definitely sick of this whinery unless we see some proof.
>>37717868maybe i am lol i missed some words in that reply, but really i think i’m just sleepy…time for bed, goodnight anon it was nice chatting with you :) <3
>>37718023fuck off retard
Tf happened here lol
