I cut WAY more than I used to. I can't get enough of that release you feel, after a good cutting session. My dysphoria and anxiety just vanish for a little. I want to cover my body in scars, but I know I shouldn't. I don't want to stop, and thats pretty scary. I haven't been THIS addicted to something so dangerous.I just can't stop though. It's literally, one of the only things keeping me alive atm.
Maybe I have something more than just depression, anxiety, or ADHD? I must have some other undiagnosed mental illness. But I don't think I'll ever know :/
>>38518575seek professional help immediately
yeah. i cut myself until i didnt get a thrill anymorenow pain doesnt feel like anythingill get injured really badly and not feel itive just been trying not to pursue a feeling like it because it was pointless to keep chasing that feeling.i used to feel really sad to but like bad experiences made that go away too for the most partim just like all worn down nowjust meek and quiet and always looking saddont really have an interest in life anymore
>>38518575i did it earlierhonestly idk if i could stop but even if i could i don't want to, it's the only thing that can like stop me having a full on breakdown and make me feel normal and stop the like intense mental pain and basically paralysis. well drugs and alcohol can also do that but SH is cheaper and more efficient honestly?
>>38519031No.>>38519081I feel that. I hope I never get to that point. I love cutting, and how sleepy it makes me after. I don't care about life either though. Nothing truly makes me happy anymore. My mind tortures me on a daily basis, and cutting is the only way I can prevent myself from having a breakdown.>>38519197I'm literally the same way. If I go without cutting or weed, I will have a really bad breakdown. Cutting helps keep me grounded, and it makes loneliness hurt less.
i miss cutting very much but im 1. not gonna throw away the mental conditioning I've done to make it difficult to cut and 2. make my workout basically impossibleI cant relax
>>38520557Better than me
>>38520859maybe, but I did just spend the past couple of hours paralyzed just staring at my screen when I was supposed to be working (at home though thankfully so one saw)a lil bit of cutting would have solved that instantly
I've been properly suicidal for the first time in a little while and it's difficult to find other coping strategies than self-harm
bump
>>38523127"bumping that" charli xcx style amirite fren?
>>38518575If you can't or won't seek professional help (it's actually justified in this scenario compared to normalfag depression) then in the end you are just as bad and undesirable as a drug addict, if not even less. As a past cutter I genuinely wish you the best but if you won't get help there is really nothing I can do for you.Although there are less permanent self harming methods, like applying ice to your skin or snapping it rubber bands to it, maybe you should try something else playa.
>>38523955Ice is a meme, it doesn't hurt enoughI agree though please seek help op, you don't have to live like this
>>38523966In my shallow experience that when "dry" ice that is straight out of the freezer is placed on the skin it can fuse to it in someway (don't ask me I am not scientist) and it hurts pretty badly to rip it off.
I cut myself for the first time today. I don't really get what the big deal is.I didn't feel any better or worse, and it wasn't really painful. The only sensation of note was embarrassment, strangely enough. It felt very childish and I felt foolish for thinking it would do anything. I don't think I'll be cutting again.
>>38523955THERE IS NO HELP. Therapy is a scam.
>>38524322Ok, go drink alcohol or something then.
>>38525963Getting locked up in a psychiatric ward is quite literally preferable to ruining your body and mind by cutting. And there at least you can get *some* support, even if a little.>>38524322It's not for everyone dawg.
>>38518575>I just can't stop though. It's literally, one of the only things keeping me alive atmrelatable i thinks
>>38525986>And there at least you can get *some* support, even if a little."Supportive" as in them leaving me in a cold room for hours? Or being forced to detransition? Fuck you.
>>38525975i got really into alcohol a while ago, drinking every day, but then i stopped cause it was getting to expensive to make it feel good and the hangovers werent worth it
>>38518575how long hrt?
>>38526019i hope things get better for you
