DEAR GRUNDLESTAIN,
GET FUCKED TO DEATH AND THEN DIE
SMELL YOU LATER

I'm glad we're still friends at the end of the day. You mean a lot to me in that way.

>>38574522
I just want to come out to my family

>>38574563
brutal

>>38574522
I used to love you, so so much. Now I know that love was misplaced. I thought things would be different, but clearly not. I can't stand the sight of you anymore and I cannot believe I'm going to have to continue to live with you.

This is going to be one of the hardest times in my life. I'm glad you had "fun".

I thought I knew you well, but your actions taught me otherwise. I don’t know if I can trust my own judgement after I misjudged you this much.

I know you lied to me. I know you just wanted to shut me up so I could move on. I’m just fucking pissed that you would rather run from your problems then open a dialogue with me

Enjoy the blocklist, D. I’d say it was well earned after all the stress and bullshit you forced me through

Maybe it was for the better that things didn’t work out, seeing how you’ve reacted to events in the time since. You blame me for so much. Not fucking sure why, reasonably speaking. Hope the spite and anger are worth it now.

Talk to me R

>>38574563
I hope you’re able to have a good time together, anon :)
>>38574574
I believe in you! Its such a small step but also a huge one at the same time <3
>>38574842
>>38574943
I’m sorry anons, I hope you’ll be able to look back at your memories fondly when the emotions begin to dull :(
>>38575024
Ugh, im sorry anon. I hope you’ll be able to reflect with a clean head and improve your sense of self <3

I tried for so long to make things work out.

I regret how things ended. It was the first time someone had taken serious interest in me in a long, long time, and I wildly overreacted. You were correct to ghost me, honestly, it was a more clear message than could have been expressed in words.

I've found someone else since you left town. She makes me very happy, so don't take this as me pining after you still, because that ain't at all what this is. I miss your mind more than anything else, and I wish I hadn't made such an ass of myself at the end there, so that we could at least tried to keep in touch on platonic terms. I miss your pretentious literary bullshit, and I have so many thoughts about that play that I never got to share with you. Hope you're doing alright in the big city, you violent, irrepressible miracle of a woman.

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Dear fuckface cheating cunt,

I hope cancer runs in your family and I hope you die alone from it. You were a selfish coward for not going to see your dead sister who was dying from cancer in the hospital and you were also a selfish coward for not telling me that my girlfriend was cheating. You're a fucking bastard for pretending to be my friend while you were fucking with my girlfriend behind my back. Evil. Subhuman trash. I fucking hate you. You hurt my heart, soul, and my view of the goodness of humanity.

Dear cheating whore girlfriend who I still love for some reason,

I fucking hate you and love you at the same time. What a pathetic combination of feelings to be having. But I think you're more pathetic. I think you're pathetic because you fucked with my ex-boyfriends girlfriend with NPD, who didn't give a single fucking shit about you. She really told you "I coldly use you as a supply to fulfill my toxic need for grandiosity" and "I'd hurt you in a heartbeat if I saw some benefit to it" yet you still simped over her for months until she disposed of you. Fuck you for letting me become a close friend to fuckface cheating cunt while you were fucking around together. Your anxiety pissed me off. It made me sad you never invited me to play L4D2 with you. You're a coward for not dumping me if you were so sick of me, we could have at least left on good terms. I'll miss your family.

Dear ex-boyfriends crazy BPD bitch,

I don't even care about you in the slightest. I don't know why Victor gave you my number to apologize to me but I just ignored you because I know you're an emotionless husk that could care less about what I said. You just found a gullible girl to get attention from for a few months and it happened to my girlfriend. Whatever I guess.

Dear 3rd person who I suspect is Val,

Fuck you. KYS.

Dear myself,

I hate you. I don't know why you were so naïve.

Dear Dawn,

I wish you were still here so I could tell you all the fucked up shit that's happened.

Are you really flirting back way more now? I'm not just imagining it right? It feels like we crossed a barrier recently. But maybe it's just in my head. But you are saying things that make me *feel something* so much more now whereas before it was maybe only ambiguously dropped occasionally. Is this real? You aren't just leading me up a dead end?
Because if this is real then I think I can make it work. Don't forget about me please. Don't lose interest. Please just wait for me.

>>38574574
then do it.
unless they would like
kill u or something

>>38574522
I believe in everything that you are, and everything you try to be.

I think that ghosting me and then insisting that writing a long paragraph would have been cruel is a weasel ass way of going about things. I don’t know why you feel it’s justified to shut me up and block me whenever it’s most convenient for you. I hope you won’t treat other friends down the line like shit like you did with me.

I truly do hope you didnt lie to me when you said you were "all good" at least. Knowing you werent going through some kind of mental freakout is the only thing bringing me closure to our friendship.
And if you did lie, well, im amazed you didnt think that I will drop everything else to help.

>>38575024
Sorry to hear that, anon. What did they blame you for, if you don't mind me asking?

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>>38575278

P.S.
I think one of the best pictures I’ve ever taken was you leaning against a railing looking over the puget sound, your back facing the camera. The colors were so vibrant and I loved the composition of it all, and I was going to ask you if I could put it in a shared family album but it seems now I won't get the chance.
I’m keeping my promises, so no one sees these but me—im just a little saddened that you didn’t keep yours.

J.

>>38575181
>val

idk if its me but if it is i dont even have contact with those people so you're suspecting wrong, im not a part of this pathetic shit

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>>38575634
thanks for giving me a laugh :)

>>38575663
i have nothing to do with those creepy psycho terminally online troons and never will, you’re free to not believe me as always but i said my piece

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>>38575714
no i know youre not the val im talking about. that bitch would be more egotistical than you are. unless you happen to live in salt like city now.......

>>38575758
yeh im european not the same person thanks god
good luck anon

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>>38575285
really worried that post is about me I hope they give more details and it's not

>>38576089
It’s not about you, don’t worry.

>>38576092
you don't know who I am, could be.

i think i was too good for you

you said that (or something similar) to me a couple of times, but i think that was mostly you trying to tear yourself down. with time to process now, i actually think i may have been too good for you, and if i wasn't trans i think it would be near indisputable

I think I love you but I don't know where I fit in your life. I hate wondering if/when I'll hear from you and if you would just hit me up without asking for something it would allay all my fears. I hope some day I figure out how to ascertain where I stand and stop being scared that no will make you ghost. I'm sorry past peoples ruined my trust, I'm just terrified of being ghosted by people who I can't seem to forget

>>38574522
I've written to you in these threads a lot, I regret how I've acted but dwelling on it is doing nothing for you. I think I've finally moved on and this is the last time I'll think about it other than using it as a way to improve and not act terrible anymore. I was emotionally abusive to you in the end and blamed you for a lot that wasn't your fault and I am sorry, I hope you heal from this and I hope I continue to heal and improve. Thanks for being in my life for the time you were.

>>38576137
That sounds really rough anon, do you want to talk about it at all?

>>38576131
Therapy works because no longer feel these are all about me lmao

>>38576222
dw i absolutely realize how arrogant that sounds, and it kinda is, but i swear there's more to it lol

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I regret sticking around for a month while you treated me so coldly.

I saw you as somehow who very quickly became a good friend, I didn't understand how bad things were and that I needed to let go.

I can't believe all the things I thought about you like you're so kind and down to earth. I would have never guessed how cruel and easily influenced you are.

Looking back on it you're kind of creepy. The first time we ever hung out you over stayed your welcome, insisted on cuddling in my bed with me when I barely even knew you and hadn't established anything like that with you yet.

Yet somehow you quickly forced your way in close to me. And I let you in. I thought you were just so nice.

I wish I trusted my gut on that first day. I wish I didn't ever get close with you.

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>>38576749
I wish things didn't go this way. Sure I made mistakes but at least I had the guts to tell you I'm honestly sorry.

Then again even if you said everything you're supposed to and gave me a perfect apology now it's too late the damage is done.

I was really having so much fun with you. I was telling everyone how glad I was that I had made such a nice friend.

I'm still trying to process my shock. I just can't believe how immediately you turned on me. It hurts a lot. Why didn't I trust my gut on that first day. I'm such an idiot for letting this happen.

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>>38576827
I've been telling myself all I care about is sex. It's too bad I can't hook up with you anymore. Or her. It's all just pure cope. I'm running away from how hurt I really am.

I was getting so comfortable with you. It felt so natural, like I was gradually warming up and getting closer with you.

I'm such an idiot. I am such an idiot. I don't know how I'll ever get close to a girl again after this

>>38576827
>I'm still trying to process my shock. I just can't believe how immediately you turned on me. It hurts a lot. Why didn't I trust my gut on that first day. I'm such an idiot for letting this happen.
what happened anon?

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>>38576950
A tranny was coming over to my house every other day showing a lot of interest in me, then it turned out she was dating my ex behind my back.

Now that they're together she immediately began being rude to me and saying mean things that were obviously based on stuff my ex told her about me.

I valued her so much as a good friend that I spent a month trying to pretend I was ok with it just so she wouldn't drop me but instead I opened myself up to being bullied by the two of them.

Lots of bad things have happened to me in my life, things objectively worse than this, but with how intensely this has affected me for the last almost 2 months it may as well be the worst thing that's ever happened to me it's just so painful

I'm sorry I abandoned you. I dream of you every other night, I wish I could forget you and I know it'll probably never happen. Asked you to take my last name then left a month later, I was a coward. Felt you were abusing me, and even though you were I could have stood up to you better. We were just two young kids who had no idea how to have the kind of relationship we were attempting to have, and I wish I could take back all the hurt and humiliation I caused you. You were my girl, not some girl who looked like a guy that all my friends said you were, but my beautiful girl, and I should have told you I loved you more, saved more of our pictures together. No other girl or guy has ever mad me feel half of what you made me feel, you are my biggest regret and I feel as if God is punishing me for having left you. I used to pray to be with you, to marry you when I was in basic training, but I couldn't even make it two years before leaving. I'm sorry I abandoned you beautiful girl.

Dear S,

Tomorrow will mark a month since we last talked. Isn't it funny how these threads are the closest I get to interacting with you nowadays? The other night, while I couldn't sleep, I wrote a poem for you. I don't think you'd like it, considering how I poured all my intrusive thoughts and fears about your current situation into it. It's really a bit creepy. Maybe in 10 or 20 years I'll show it to you, and you'll find it endearing how worried I was.

Last night I lay in my bed and thought about how good it is that you simply exist in this world. That your lungs are moving air just as mine are. That the photons traveling from the stars hit your eyes in the same moment they hit mine. I have no guarantee that you're safe, or even alive. But I want to hope. It's the only thing I have left.

I love you, S. And I hope that one day, when you come back, I will have a proper chance with you. Please, look after yourself.

>>38577384
You seem cringe and creepy as fuck I hope S manages to shake you off their trail somehow

>>38576143
You aren't sorry and you lack the ability to not be shitty lmao

>>38577433
I think you're responding to someone who's not me, but I hope your situation gets better too. sorry you went through something similar.

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ive been planning on cutting myself in front of my niko plush just to show niko how hopeless i really am

>>38577461
Ok vincent

>>38577482
yeah lmao no I'm a tranny I just have BPD and freaked out after getting dumped is what I was referring to as being emotionally abusive

>>38577505
Ah, I'm a tranny too and he yelled at me like each week over something minor or over my trauma responses. I was too good for that faggot manchild

>>38577525
yeah sounds shitty.... also next time do NOT date a man you suspect uses TTTT that was your first mistake

>>38577539
Nah I've dated a man from here before, he was a Nazi but treated me well and things only ended bc he was moving to China. Most recent ex was a communist so I've got the full retard spectrum now

>>38577010
pretending the cheating pos who abandoned me wrote this so i can feel smug and (pls do not shatter this fantasy thank you)

>>38577384
anon this is not a knock on you fwiw
i had a semi-recent falling out with a close fren who was a sometimes S and i was kind of a clingy weirdo to her and every time i see these posts in these threads i get this anxiety spike she's gonna see it and think i wrote it
so just in case:
S, it's not me, we're chill, i'm still just sorry about how i acted and keeping my distance but pretty much over it
-J

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to a certain someone

I'm sorry that he drove you away. his actual reason for punishing you was completely unrelated to how it looked from the outside.
I could never ask you to come back when I already have so many reservations about being there myself, but if it's any consolation, I just wanted you to know that even now, there are people upset about what happened. people upset that you were carelessly discarded by a person who should've valued your presence the most, even after you selflessly indulged one of their requests moments after meeting them.

-m & friends

>>38577793
>that gif
Yeah alright, I know who you are. Not that it matters because I have no idea what your confession means.

>>38577800
>I have no idea what your confession means
then I suppose it must be for someone else?

>>38574903
this makes me cry

>>38577814
>I suppose it must be for someone else?
Well, yeah. I just thought I'd let you know your choice of gif makes you stick out. Wasn't saying it was about me.

>>38577834
>I just thought I'd let you know your choice of gif makes you stick out
yeah, it was intentional :)
I'm not positive that you actually know who I am, but I hope we don't have any beef

I deserved better
I DESERVED TO BE TREATED LIKE A FUCKING HUMAN

>>38577839
We don't have any beef. We're quite chill actually.

>>38577858
excellent. I hope you have a great day

>>38576131
you sound like a bpdemon

>>38577824
it hurts more knowing that chapter is closed

>>38578800
what hurts more than what? I don't understand the distinction between what you're saying and the emotional message the image conveys

>>38578128
i have cptsd is that close enough?

>>38578819
to me it hurts because it's a goodbye, but see you again when the time is right
but that again never worked out

>>38578859
I still don't understand what you're saying or what your point is

>>38578869
how dense are you anon

>>38578836
you probably have bpd if you have that shit. most bpdemons think they’re somehow better than their exes even tho they’re pieces of shit

>>38579714
t. has never interacted with a BPD before

I can't believe I still think about you.
I'm praying for the day I wake up and you're not the first thing on my mind.
I've told myself all this time that if I ever see you again,
I'll push you away, refuse to let you close to me again.
But it's a false bravado.
You would walk through my walls like they weren't even there.
The second I look into your eyes I've got no defense against you.
Damn, I wish I could hate you...

>>38577619
Use it as you will just remember it takes to make and break it.

D, I wish I knew if you were interested in me or just being nice to a clearly damaged tranny with a crush on you. The look on your face when you told me that it's nice to see me smile again, the way way you grin and talk to me every time we pass each other, despite my stammering... I just wish I knew for sure. Fuck.

You confuse the hell out of me. You like my mind, you like my body, you like my personality, you seem to crave my company and my input on your life, you don't get along with most people but you feel comfortable with me, sexually we're a great fit, you cum hard with me, you seem to crave it at least as much as I do and chase after more of it...

...so why do you still act like there's nothing serious here? Why do you still act like you can't see a future? Would you really even be okay if I moved on and we weren't in each others' lives anymore? I don't want to, I want you closer, I want us to be together. But I'm gonna have to at some point. I need someone who's gonna go all in. And you don't seem to know what you want. You pull me closer and move further away all at the same time. I've held a lot back and kept my feelings under control because I don't trust your warmth or your intimacy, I don't know if I can believe it's real, or at least I don't believe you'll follow through on it. I could really love you. I know I could. But only if you had the balls to love me back. Without that, it's just a spark, it can't catch fire if it doesn't hit fuel. There's a limit to how many times I can let you make me feel like a fool.

no one's writing about me :(

>>38581159
I can write about you anon… I love u <3

>>38581180
no you're just a random I want someone who knows me to do it >:(

>>38581159
same, everyone from my past has moved on and forgotten me while I'm just stuck with their echoes bouncing around in my head, but that's kind of how I want it

>>38581159
How do you know?

>>38581295
same but that's kind of not how i want it i miss having a squad

>>38581330
whenever I think there's a post about me I have to think it through before realising I'm completely delusional. I don't think the people I want messages from would

>>38581449
For what it's worth I don't think the person I wrote about would realize mine was from me either. I like to switch up typing styles so it becomes a bit less obvious.

>>38581476
switching your typing style to confuse your recipient is kind of cute

V,
I miss you
I still miss messaging you, even tho it's been... 6 months soon.

Wish you at least told me why you hate me so i could move on.

I doubt it but i hope we get to talk again one day. I have so many things to tell you about

R

>>38581587
Sometimes I wonder if it might actually be a bad idea. I think a part of me is secretly desperate for her to realize a message is from me.

You were an awful friend and I'm glad we have gone our separate ways. You lack a spine and you lack compassion.
I'd say I hope you get better someday but you are one of the few people that I think will never get better.
I do not like you. Do not reach out to me ever again. Go be a parasite somewhere else.

>>38580881
Fuck this. I'll just tell him in person. The worst he can say is that he's disgusted with me for even asking.

>>38579729
cope

reading this thread is actually making me cry im so fucking lonely
i'd even take hopelessly longing after someone i cant be with over this right now

>>38575055
<3

you took away my actual love.
you took away my future.
you took away my sense of self.
and then when nothing was left you took away the life we had together.
fuck you. i dont care enough about you to hate you or wish you ill anymore but i am still so fucking bitter about the damage you left me with, the nothing it cost you to do it, how long it's taking me to find who i was before you again. i should be allowed to demand some kind of reparations.
i know you will never see this, because you think this place is just the scary fascist side of the internet for criminals, but i wish you would so you could at least feel some shred of guilt for what you did.
barring that, i just look forward to the day i recall our time together for the very last time.
-your (once, but never again) laughy sapphy

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>>38574522
You are a bad teacher because you are selfish and lazy, and your students learn less and hate you as a result. I’m glad you got denied a promotion, and if I were in charge I’d fucking fire you. But I will still smile and politely call you colleague because you’d act like a hysterical bitch if I ever told you the truth, and that’s more trouble than it’s worth. I hear everyone else has stopped talking to you entirely…

Dear ttt

Several times a day I look into the mirror and I'm struck by the fact that I look like a woman. Not a tranny, but a woman. I honestly have a hard time really understanding people who don't pass.

If there's any justice in this world, you will die alone. And it will be your own fucking fault.

>>38582969
I know hons. Like, capital H Hons. People who will genuinely never pass no matter how many surgeries they have or how much voice training they do. Some people really just did not win the genetic lottery. It's not their fault.

>>38581646
Is this one about an Ella :(

>>38583039
Oh yeah for sure I wouldn't blame them or anything. Plus, being ugly isn't a moral or character flaw anyway. Lots of trannies just have faces with male features they can't hide, and tall bodies with manly builds. I have nothing against them and all the sympathy in the world for their plight. I just can't really fathom that being me.

>>38574522
Y'all, should I stop reaching out to my former bestie who basically stopped talking to me except maybe for a few minutes every week or two? I'm not particularly neurotic so it doesn't really bother me that much, but I can't deny I wish we were closer. I just keep in touch with them because I like them and want them in my life. Still it makes It really hard to do that when they barely interact. If they didn't want me around anymore I wish they'd just tell me.

>>38583114
what happened that they're your former bestie now

>>38583114
Yeah people think ghosting is "less cruel" but the reality is its mostly done by people who lack the empathy to realize how stressful and confusing it is for the other party

Anons, dont ignore people if you want them to go away. Take the time to discuss your problems and difficulties with each other so you can both find closure. It may sting in the short run but it will bring so much peace in the long run

>>38583130
Well, nothing. They just stopped spending as much time with me. Partly because of stuff going on in their life that's out of their hands, but if they still wanted to be close then they could've accepted some of my invitations instead of declining them all. Like I said, I'm a really chill person who stands on my own two feet, so it is what it is. I brush it off and accept what they'll give me. I do wish we could be close again tho.

>>38583067
No.

>>38583147
I'm not sure I would describe what they do as ghosting. If I don't reach out, then they will eventually reach out to me. But it's always just short conversations and then they dip out again. And they haven't accepted an invitation to spend time together in a long while

>>38583159
>I do wish we could be close again tho.
You never get closeness again.
Something people don't tell you is that when you lose closeness it's because someone changed. You're yearning for the idea of what they were when what they are is fundamentally different.
That is okay. You have to internalize it and move on though so you can become a different person too.
You will find someone else that wants your time, wants your attention. Do not spend anymore time hurting yourself against the walls of people that closed off that chapter of their life.

>>38583193
>Something people don't tell you is that when you lose closeness it's because someone changed. You're yearning for the idea of what they were when what they are is fundamentally different.
This is something that has been killing me lately. I know it's true but I'm in deep deep denial about it because I want it again so badly. The first time we ever met she kissed me and it was amazing. Why did how she feels change but I'm still stuck being in love with her?

>>38583218
You're looking for rationality is a deeply irrational situation. People are ever-changing in ways that are out of their control. The chances are the way she changed was not conscious. It was something that took her away in the same way a childhood friend is stolen from you when their parents have to move.
Being on the end of that feeling however is grueling. Because whatever came so naturally for them now has to manifest unnaturally in you. You have to actively change your thoughts whenever she appears. You have to remind yourself that it's over and deny yourself your fantasies. Root yourself in reality.
That thing you want is not actually her. It's a feeling of being loved again. Feeling like someone genuinely cares for you from the bottom of their heart. That warm feeling you get in a persons embrace because you know you're safe in that moment.
None of those belong to her. They belong to you. And you will share those things with someone again.
And when you find that person, you'll be delicate. Every touch will carry doubt. Every softly spoken word will hurt when you reflect on it the night after. Slowly however you'll notice that they haven't left. That the next day and the day after you're still being held.
Then you'll know that you're okay.
In the meantime, you have to repair yourself. There is no "her" anymore. It's just you, and that's okay.
I promise you that if you do the necessary work, you'll soon move on in a healthy way. You'll be happier, more complete, and ready to try again.

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>>38574522
I know my last message to you was brief but I intended it to be much longer. I had so much to say and so many emotions I have been drenching my pillow with. I wanted to say more than just 'thank you for making me feel human', I wanted to say that the short period of time that you showed interest in me was the only time I felt valued in my life. I wanted to tell you that I wanted to believe all the things you said but knowing now that they aren't true they hurt even more, It's worse now after I decided to crawl out from my den and see the sunlight because, instead of being kind, your words seared my hide. For a moment I wanted to believe those things and I did and I don't blame you for being so kind to me, it's all my fault for thinking that kindness was something that I could one day receive. It hurt me a lot when you said mean things about men because I know you see me as one and I know that I don't deserve to be near real women like you, I'm not one of you.
I don't want to get in your way and I will remain deep within my den and out of sight, please don't feel bad for having been kind to me.

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>>38581646
holy shit anon what did they do to you

you didnt really know me, i didnt really know you. we just hung out for a few sporadic moments over the year and im sorry if i made you feel weird after rejecting you. youre a cool person and he is too and i wish you both the best.

>>38583267
>That thing you want is not actually her. It's a feeling of being loved again.
I am loved, I've been in relationships since then, but I still want her.

Your first suicide attempt changed everything. I want to help but im scared to get too close to you again. I can’t afford to lose another person. I’m sorry im not strong enough

Dear B,

I lied to you. I'm so sorry. I still have that crush on you. I was lying to myself, too. I hope you can forgive me. It hurts to see you fall in love with him so fast. Is it evil that I hope the whole thing blows up? I hope you two break up and that you swear off relationships for just long enough that I can figure out how to rework my life to fit yours. Yeah. That's evil. sorry.

I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you.
<3 H

bump

i dont care enough and you dont like that. i think we'll keep orbiting each other forever until you get fed up with my bs. honestly i dont even wish i cared enough anymore, sometimes it gets to me, but i like what we have rn even though you want more. i can tell you do, at least you try not to bring it up around me. part of it is that i don't want to start over, i'd rather keep you, and everyone i meet, around. im really just a selfish cunt and it astounds me how people fail to see that time and time again. i even tell them. whatev, ig i shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth

>>38584736
this feels meenah coded

>>38584760
homestuck......? tried to read it once didnt succeed. what she like?

>>38584828
kind of like that post. recognizes that she deals out a load of bs and is selfish but and sort of feels bad about it but not enough to care or change that. and kind of cool so she does attract people who are willing to put up with her bs.

>>38574522
dear A.P.

i still think about you all the time. Sorry i acted kindof crazy, i didnt understand the world or myself back then.

Thanks for opening my eyes to your world, and teaching me about myself.

I hope you are doing well these days, and you escaped that country.

You are such a beautiful person, born into an unlucky situation.

XOXO

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>>38574522
You're in my dreams. I'm unscrambling the codes and becoming more clear every day...

>>38574522
sorry i ghosted you again.
you probably think nothing of our conversations anymore, but they were very impactful to me. they put a purpose in me that i had put out a while ago.. my mind spirals constantly around this purpose now.
i wish i could let myself follow that path desu.. i don't out of fear.. i've trapped myself for now..
but thank you for putting that reason to continue back in me.
right now i feel like a failure, but one day i hope to be someone like you and be free to follow through with who i'm meant to be <3

>>38585392
it sounds like you really enjoyed their company anon, are you sure trying to cut them off is the right choice?
>Ive trapped myself for now
why are you trapped? after all, the best time to do something was a year ago, but the second best time is right now
>I feel like a failure
how come?

>>38580908
Aw, i wish someone liked me like that. It would be nice.

M,
I guess we've grown apart, or maybe one of us grow while the other was left behind. I never really wanted to accept it, I just wanted it to be like when we were younger. I can't seem to pull you from your Mire, but I also don't really want to fall in again with you either. It's been years, I'm just tired :( I still want to talk with you but, I've allowed myself to become aware to how it is and it just kinda sucks. I wish I was still blind to you not really caring about me. I'm still too much of a coward to say goodbye though, to instil a sense of finality. With anyone else I am astounded at how freely my words flow, yet with you I feel under a microscope. Like I have to try harder so you'll actually look at me. I guess this is just my selfish desire, but please just tell me to leave if that's what you want. It's so easy to hurt myself like this, but I hope when I leave you'll be strong enough to stand on your own. I'm tired of caring about you who doesn't care about yourself, I'm tired of you shutting me out and acting like you're not, I'm tired of you telling me sweet things that never come to pass. One day, I'll leave you for sure, I have to..but for right now, let me indulge this selfish desire of wanting you to want me, please.

I cheated on my wife with like a dozen guys to "make sure"
now I rep hard because I can't go back to my shithole home country.

>>38587573
no because I don't want to get caught and get divorced and then deported.
everyone eventually gets caught, it's a miracle I never caught an STD while we were still having sex

You may not like it now, but you will come to terms with the fact that map rights are human rights and are valid. The quicker you come to terns with this, the better and happier you and your daughter will be.

-James F.

>>38585413
> it sounds like you really enjoyed their company anon, are you sure trying to cut them off is the right choice?
it's not entirely intentional,
i have a bad habit of forgetting things for days/weeks I try to write them down but I forget I do that.
By the time I remember, I'm too embarrassed to talk to them again.. :(

this, coupled with how cool they are as a person (passing tranny, voice trained, extremely self-actualized, creating things, unique, beautiful, etc) makes me very ashamed of myself (nonpassing, voice train is WIP, not achieving what I want in life, failed goals) and it's really hard to talk to them out of embarrassment.
I told myself I would talk to them again once I had achieved some things. But I haven't still.. after so long.

> why are you trapped? after all, the best time to do something was a year ago, but the second best time is right now
I.. don't know exactly. I feel like I need to hide this part of myself for safety or something. I'm not sure but it feels almost necessary.
Maybe there are some mental things i need to figure out ><"

> how come?
because i have failed at what I want to be. I've missed deadlines for myself. I just forget too much and time keeps going.

I still do have hope one day that I will make it though. That I will figure out how to do what I want and get it done :)
I just feel bad because I know by the time I do it will have been too long to be friends or anything :T

>>38588223
get help or die, stfu. your confession of unashamedly wanting to fuck children is not welcome here

>>38574522
I cheated with you with online sex because you hate all the fantasies I have and all the hentai I consume. Our lesbian marriage is true and based on love, but you love controlling my sexuality

>>38588369
Fuck off troll.

>>38574522
I don't know what happened inside your head to make you "realize" you weren't into guys because you get silent when I ask. I can't know what that means our relationship was or what you ever really saw in me for those years because you get silent when I ask. I know you get silent because you're insanely traumatized and shut down when things get too loud in your head but I wish I could just have some kind of insight into what that noise was telling you. I don't even know if I fucked up or what happened. Did I drive you away? Did you just discover this about yourself incidentally? And now that your manic pixie dreamgirl gf dumped you and you're at your self proclaimed lowest point, why do you feel comfortable leaning on me to talk about it? How does this even work in your head?

I wish I could know even the littlest bit. I bet you told that girl you were dating everything about this. Right now it just feels like the woman I loved with all my heart was just using me for emotional validation for years. I wish you would just give me one single sign that this isn't true. Please.

>>38588395
no. this is a space for people with real valid human feelings.
unless your confession involves guilt about your pedophilic inclinations and a desire you change them your words should not be welcomed anywhere at all, not in the safest gentlest corners of this earth. you are doing evil in your heart. fix yourself or fucking die in fire.

>>38588386
>I cheated with you with online sex
online sex? what does that even mean? like erotic roleplay? did your partner find your flist account?

>>38588901
Yeah and sexting and sending nudes online basically

>>38588944
god you're evil. i hope you get whats coming to you.

>>38589440
I got away with it too

>>38589455
you won't get away with it in the long run you scum.
it'll all come back around.

>>38589471
Jk she found out and I hate myself for doing it
I'm the kind of mentally ill where I literally can't stop myself once I start doing shit like that but I realized it was because I was refusing to accept or acknowledge an incestuous sexual trauma and was using promiscuity as a way to escape the feelings. We're actually doing a lot better now and I don't wanna keep being like I was

>>38589455
I know who you are.

>>38589440
>>38588944
am I retarded or does this not seem like a big deal...? maybe i'm too 4chan socialized. i guess sending people nudes is over the line but if its just random people on the internet it seems more like a weird masturbation habit than cheating.

>>38590153
what the fuck is wrong with you people. yes sexting with someone who isnt your partner and sending them fucking nudes is wrong?? what the fuck?

>>38590179
im not saying its great and id be concerned if that happened to me but if its just random people from the internet that you've never met it feels like a whole different thing. when i think of cheating i think of someone fucking their coworker or whatever, not sexting some polish girl you met in a fetish chatroom

M,
Sometimes I still miss you.
-M

To all my friends,

I wish I knew why we don't talk anymore. With most of you, there was no inciting incident. We were on good terms, and then we just stopped talking. I guess I've moved around so much, and so have most of you. Few of us live near each other anymore, half of you don't know the others. Of course we don't talk, you've got people in your own cities and lives, that's how it should be.
I guess I never let go of any of you. I have such a hard time meeting people, because you're all still there in my inner world, but then when I go out to socialize none of you are there anymore, everyone is a stranger now. I need to build a circle, like you all did. I wish I knew why it happened so naturally for everyone else, and not for me.
I think about all of you still. Some more than others maybe, but still, each and every one. I hope all of you are well. I hope you're thriving, living out the dreams we used to talk about, surrounded by cool people. I'm sure we'll talk again someday. Maybe when we do, I'll be all those things too, and I can tell you about it.

>>38590199
i would be more than a little fucking concerned if it happened to me. that is 100% cheating and its 100% breakup worthy imo.

>>38575181
YEAH!
Give em hell, Anon!!
Fuck them all!!!!

I know I let you down... and you probably hate my guts.
That's alright. But, I don't feel that way about you.
I hope you're doing good. And I hope you're happy.
I mean that.
Love you.

>>38591271
you should tell them this anon

>>38574522
I think the most depressing thing about these threads is the knowledge that nobody will ever write anything about you in a place like this.

>>38591286
Nah. They deserve better than to ever hear from my sorry ass again.
Posting it anonymously and fucking off is the right thing to do.
Trust me.

>>38591321
Damn, what did you do?

Metro: Shut your hoe ass up and make some drums, nigga

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Hate hate hate that i cant have kids of my own
Finally in a comfy career but even if i could adopt I'm too vroken to raise a healthy child fml

I'm just gonna focus on my job and occult practice atp since those are really the only things that keep me engaged rn

Hail ođinn c:

>>38591321
That’s never true anon. Apologies matter to others more than you can ever think

>>38593747
is that a real interaction in a game
i feel like i could see it being in a sims 2 spinoff

yfw blaire white will never call for tnd

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>>38593990
i feel like i could see your dick in my ass

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>>38574522
>>38574522
I feel like shit constantly and I cant stop thinking about you. I'm so lonely that I'm back on fucking 4chan. Not that you ever really understood what 4chan what that means, really.

I just wish more than anything that I could be attractive to you. I wish I could have held your gaze and that you still loved me the way that you used to. I wish you looked at me like you looked at others and talked about me the way you talked about others.
Your words are the only thing that have ever made me feel okay about my body. I still hated it. I still hate it. But if I can never be comfortable in my body, I might as well let someone else enjoy it, right?

I can't stop listening to our songs and watching our movies. I go to our places and I just want to kill myself. My bed is still our bed. I can still see you in the passenger seat of what I think of as our car. I cry into the plushies you gave me and I just wish I was hugging you one last time.

I can't even blame you for what happened. I'll never be a woman. You only like women. I know that I'm ugly and I know I'll never pass, like you had said. That's just how things are and I'm so sorry I wasted your time and I'm so sorry for holding you back.

I never should have let us get together. I knew I would only hurt you and hold you back and make you feel worse. I tried so hard to make you feel better and all I ever did was hurt you.

Maybe in another universe. Where I have the right body and we both had better parents and we weren't both fucked up. Maybe then, I could be with you.

I'm so sorry.

>>38594454
fuck my stupid life ofc i quote op twice

>>38594454
This line almost made me cry in the theater when I saw that move for the first time. I'm so sorry you're going through that.

>>38594476
i saw this in the theater with her and she was crying and was holding my hand during this scene

>>38594489
Ouch, that's brutal :(

>>38574522
I'm so embarrassed but I have a little crush on you. And I shouldn't, and I don't think it would work out, and I actually really like seeing how sweet you and your boyfriend are to each other...

...and I WANT to want to just be friends. I want to practice letting go of crushes. And I feel like we share disgusting stuff with each other that we can only share because we're JUST friends, so it doesn't have a secret meaning or agenda behind it. But ugh maybe that's exactly why I like you. When we met I felt like my soul recognized yours from across the world. I'm never going to admit this to you. I hope this all just goes away on its own.

Anyway, I really hope one day you get to start on T like I know you want to. Good luck out there dude :)

Holy fuck i want you so fucking much it isnt fair. I want us to devour eachother.

>>38591321
I hope you still say it anon. I really hope you do. If I were them no matter what happened I'd love to hear something like that from someone who hurt me