Im too transphobic to transition. I was on hrt for 2 years but detransitioned because the thought of trans people disgusts me.
Fake and gay
this is your second thread about this. What do you want us to do? Get rid of your self hatred? Take this test so we can narrow down what's wrong.https://www.idrlabs.com/internalized-transphobia/test.php
>>38580257It's not fake. There were other reasons but the biggest is that I didn't like being weird tranny freak that's playing pretend and will never be a real woman just a gross imitation.
>>38580260>What do you want us to do?Idk you probably cant do anything. I just want to talk about my feelings and my other thread died. You probably spend too much time here if you noticed both my threads.
>>38580269Do you have dysphoria?If you do, and you have the ability to get hrt, then theres no reason to rep; youll just end up like john 50. I dont get how you can be knowingly dysphoric and hate transexuals? Trannies arent That Weird. They are, at the end of the day, just people changing there sex characteristics.
>>38580315John 50 isn't real its some weird gross boomer. Repressing is better than transition. Transition for me can never be enough. I would always just be a man. Nothing can or ever will change that. Not to mention I simple would never be able to date anyone if I transitioned. It's simply a depressing isolating life. Dysphoria is just being sad about being male often but things like family and love are more important
>>38580300You stood out to me, you seem very distraught.Seems high across the board. What was the inflection point that made you stop transitioning?
>>38580416I guess it's just that it felt like I was trying to become someone other than myself rather than just being myself and at some point I wanted to just be a man and have cishet relationship. It felt like the wrong path to happiness and what I truly wanted were strong friendships and romantic relationships that were deep and meaningful and would last a lifetime. That's the biggest reason but I guess I also wasn't comfortable being trans for a few reasons. I could never be cis of the opposite sex, which simply felt like it's not worth it because of that. Transition would never truly be enough. I could never actually be a woman. I would always know that I wasnt one. There would be traits that would never go away that would give it away that I wasnt one. I also couldnt live keeping a deep dark secret that would ruin my life if it got out that I was actually a trans person even if I did pass. But I also felt less and less likely that I would actually pass. Then I guess it felt unhealthy. I was definitely fatigued often and was difficult to keep weight off and move around like I should to stay healthy.
>>38580558Okay, I think I can see your conundrum. You cannot be a cis woman nor a cis man, and for either path to happiness to succeed those would be building blocks in your happiness. Sadly, neither are possible. Which bullet do you bite? What do you think would be easier?
>>38580857I think I can be a cis man. I just need to put my mund elsewhere. ty for listening
>>38580973I hope you find peace with yourself.
>>38580558Yeah, that's fair desu. Personally I'm like the complete reverse of that, I'm not sure if I would necessarily completely pass but I kind of just want to medically transition anyways. I feel like I'll always see myself on the trajectory of being "that tranny" somewhat, but I'm not debilitatingly bothered by needing to deal with the consequences of that.
>>38580244seek help and repent
desu I'm considering doing the same... 5 years in and the trans "community" is one of most toxic places I've ever been in
That was the biggest reasons but other reasons is just that when I think about myself in same gender relationship that just feels wrong. Like dating men as a woman or dating women as a man. Ultimately after soul searching I realized that I dont like guys as much as girls, and also being in a relationship with guy would run into issues of being unable to have family if we ever wanted etc. And when I thought of myself as trans, it just felt like a man playing dress up and that felt gross. Like I'm a man trying to trick people into treating me like a woman. Horrible
>>38580244i dont understand how people can transition without total detachment from the outcome. and i understand even less how someone can be totally detached since you're basically playing with your life. i get the feeling that for all the millions of people who just troon out and dont stop, they arent really worried about it, they just did it and maybe they dont even know why. whereas for me the idea is some kind of mental project where i have to figure out exactly why this is completely necessary and also possible for me in order to justify it which just makes me rep forever and make it worse
>>38582324You don't have to be a part of the "trans community" to be trans. I think that's part of the issue with the current vibe.
you should go back on HRT but don't expect to resemble anything similar to a woman. Use it more as damage control to just prevent yourself from becoming more masculine than you are right now
I feel like you except I didnt yet detrans and have not quite reached the 2 year markAlso don't feel the desire to be a cis womanI think highly of some individual tranners and that's why I don't think being trans (as opp. 2 being cis) is a big problem in and out itself, but I can't relate to most trans people and increasingly I feel like that may be the case because I'm not really trans>>38582823>transition without total detachment from the outcome.Possible if your boobs don't grow too big too quick and you keep manmoding, case in point being mine, and probs OP's as well
>>38580244how do you feel since stopping hrt? I’m reaching 2 years and want to stop for basically the same reason
>>38580244Very weird take to have, but I mean if ur happy repping go ahead and make yourself happy?
>>38583657Men with boobs is super ugly and gross
>>38584390It's really been ok. Since I shifted my mentality towards who I am and who I want to be, masuline traits are more neutral. But also I am being more myself and just doing things I like and not caring about any stimas and acting how I want. Sometimes I get a feeling like I wish I could transition, but then I remember why I stopped in the first place. Since then I have made a couple of really amazing friends that are probably deeper than Ive ever had in my whole life. And I have drive to improve my life more. So far it's been going fairly ok.>>38584403ty
What bothers me in these posts is how exactly do you just "detransition" out of the blue? I tried detransing 6 times last year and it never went over 24 hours. How do you just stop like that? Do you even have dysphoria or is it all just an aesthetic choice?
>>38580260hm i think i may need to work on this
most normal result in the thread award
>>38586156Its not really deciding out of the blue, its thinking about it for months before finally deciding to do it. And initially I push back the doses for like and extra week but eventually it becomes longer until I just stop. I do have dysphoria but it is lessened and it only really flares up once in awhile and doesn't cause me transition again because I remember why I stopped and slowly that decreases over time
