been on hrt almost 2 years, do not pass. got hate crimed like two months ago and my mental health has taken such a dive that i dont even feel human anymore. nobody will ever see me as a woman, and the fact i can get robbed, jumped, humiliated, and almost killed and nobody will give a shit is pretty eye opening. its probably not even worth transitioning unless you are born into a supportive family who will not kick you out on the streets. my gf recently left me and because of this i ended up homeless (again.) every day is a struggle and nobody even sees me as a personi feel like i should have never came out, my mom told me herself she wishes i was never born "because of the way you turned out", and started telling my siblings i was dead. she told me she would kill herself and it would be my fault.im 20 years old, grew up in and out of homelessness and have always lived in poverty. i was forced to drop out of high school despite being on honor roll and being in a bunch of clubs and activities (trying to get into a good school) because I had to help support my mom when she got diagnosed with lymphatic cancer in 2020. i have no degree, no training, only job experience since i started working shitty min. wage jobs when i was 16.my entire life i was severely physically and mentally abused, and I have C-PTSD and probably some other personality disorder i have inherited from my junkie parents.i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i am too fucking tired to keep living the same day over and over again, and tired of being homeless and having to interact with some of the most batshit insane and awful people i have ever met. everything i want to do or have ever wanted to do is out of reach, i am completely alone and i think death is really my only escape. i dont care about this place, and i know it's never cared about me. i tried to OD two months ago and it didnt work, i have a new plan which i know will work, but i guess i dont know anymore.
me too anonette, i grew up in a broken home around lots of drugs and strange people, when i was outted my dad told me that im a faggot freak and im going to end up looking like a man with tits. now at age 21 im an anxious ridden boymoding neet who doesnt go outside for weeks at a time and cant hold ( or even get really ) a job or do basic life things. atleast know that you arent alone in your suffering, even though ive never been homeless.i dont think you should kill yourself, because you obviously have a conscience of some kind, despite the people youve been around and how youve been raised you still kept your humanity and thats why all of this stuff is bothering you. but also i dont have any good advice to give you on how to get out of this hole because im stuck in it too. i also think of killing myself daily.
>>38591297I'm so sorry, I wish I had something helpful to say
>>38591393im not even boymoding, i have seriously considered detransing during this period as a desperate attempt to repair my life.
>>38591297Of you detransition to repair that life then all you'll actually be doing is living as someone else again.Remember the old saying, once we lose everything we are free to do anything. Pick up and move a long way away.
