I’m so cooked. Gender dysphoria is a death sentence, even if conquered it turns into depression. Started HRT at 17, got into a healthy BMI, have a decent job with good benefits, social, SRS, boyfriend of 3 years… why the fuck am i depressed? Shouldn’t I be thriving? Instead, my head is full of thoughts of giving myself to death. I think about all the things that have gone wrong. The weight of life on my shoulders is too much. I’m not scared of death as it seems very comforting. Pure nothingness. No pain, no struggles, no more anything. It makes me smile knowing that one day I will die and that’ll be it. I’ve got a therapist so don’t sweat, I’ll be okay I’m sure whatever.
You thought that transition would reduce your depression but it didn’t. Interesting.
>>38603590Your GD and depression aren't mutually exclusive conditionsWhile GD might be a big part of your depression there may also be other major reasons potentially medicalJust because you have what some may consider the ideal doesnt make what's weighing you down any less heavyYou aren't obliged to force yourself to be happy because of itAre you actually discussing this stuff with your therapist OP? Seeing death as a relief is...not good and I know that's probably hard to tell another person
>>38603623Read again, I conquered gender dysphoria. Unfortunately that wasn’t the root of all my issues. Womp for me ig.
>>38603687I will, I’m just worried because I don’t want to be admitted to a psych ward. Had to get a new therapist because my old one was primarily for school issues.
>>38603590>boyfriend of three yearsStopped reading or caring there.
>>38603590I think you're depressed because you have an underwhelming sex life
>>38603733I'm not like an expert on it OP, but I don't think they'd put you in a green room or something unless you said you had plans to off yourself or act on your feelingsI hope the fear of that doesn't stop youIt's another step towards YOUR happiness
>>38603590you don't love him enough to not die? your still this depressed in a long term relationship?
>>38603590>got srs>why the fuck am i depressed?Gee, I do wonder why. Guess we'll never know then /s
>>38603590No meaningful hobbies. Try volunteering or finding a coven
>>38605092Been fighting this long before the srs my love
>>38605070Of course I love him, but I know he’d be better off with someone better than me.
>>38603590an average cisfoid at this point just makes kids
>>38605429For me it would be very logical to try harder for him, be close as you can to that "better than me"
Have you tried finding beauty in mundane things like cooking, gardening or taking relaxing walks in nature?
