I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're feeling. Is there anything that's bringing you comfort right now?

>>38619157
Im watching anime and scrolling pinterest
Nothing helps when I know Im already a corpse

>>38619175

It sounds like you might have been involved with the medical system a lot for a while. What were some beautiful or worthwhile moments before that, or along the way?

>>38619208
I had a dog and I went on vacation one time to the beaches
I dont have much memories

>>38619253

I'd love to know your dog's name. What kind was it?

Sounds like you live somewhere beaches aren't really accessible so it was really special. Which beach did you go to?

>>38619279
We just called him little guy and it was Greece

>>38619119
:c is there nothing they can do?

>>38619294

That must have been beautiful. I got to see the Mediterranean once. Did you swim or what did you do there?

>>38619305
They tried all possibilities but its too fast for anything now
I just rot my last few days
>>38619308
I sat on the beach mostly it was nice I tried swimming but couldnt float

>>38619324
oh :c is there anything we can do to distract u a bit?
and do u atleast have family who visits u?

>>38619343
Talking on this board
Im in pain
My sister visits me and my parents and uncle but nobody else
I have no friends

>>38619324

I got to do that with my mom in the Italian city of Cecina. I didn't spend much time in the water; there wasn't sand, only pebbles that were pretty painful to walk on. So we sat under the umbrella and talked. It was nice.

Were you with family or friends I'm guessing for like a vacation? Did you guys do any bonding?

>>38619351
oh ok, r u out to any of them?

>>38619356
We were on a vacation and it was nice
I prefer summer but if it isnt scorching hot
>>38619362
Nobody

>>38619119
Anon I’m not even joking what state are you in, nobody deserves to go out this way

>>38619119
How old were you when you first wanted to transition?

>>38619368

That sounds cool. Do do you remember anything concretely?

I remember I made the Italians laugh because I would but spritz (popular Italian cocktail) at like 2:00pm. And I talked too much for a guy (wasn't out yet).

You know--about not being out to anyone. Do you think your sister would be welcoming/affirming if you came out to her now? I know it won't fix much, but if she's a kind person, I bet she and the doctors would be overjoyed to affirm you especially with what you're going through. You deserve to be recognized as the girl you are before you go.

>>38619381
Are you going to find OP and perform pro bono laser hair removal, ba, and ffs on him?

>>38619368
Anon do you want to talk on discord, I am a very good no judgement listener and will only offer comments if you specifically ask for them

>>38619368
how would they react? maybe the last days u could do some small fun girl things u rlly wanna do, and u could do them with ur family.

>>38619416
I wasn’t thinking much trans like that but I’m literally crying a bit cause of this so yeah something along those lines

>>38619381
>State
Im not in the USA
Its Serbia
>>38619399
Maybe like 5 or 6 or 7
>>38619414
I just slept under the shade and ate a donut but it was nice days
>Outing myself
Serbia

>>38619435
I cant even get out of bed
I am barely writing

>>38619444
>Maybe like 5 or 6 or 7
Did you ever try to transition or make an attempt?
What are the rules there like?

>>38619471
Its 18+ only after a year of therpay and endo and uses hrt thats 30 years outdated to hondose you

>>38619488
Not like Russia or Thailand where it's over the counter? How about DIY?

And like idk, did you consider trying it at 18?

>>38619504
She's dying in 15 days what's the point of tormenting her by making her think of what could have been

>>38619504
I tried over the counter and got denied
DIY expensive
>Trying at 18
Serbia

>>38619462
oh :c if u lived close to me id paint ur nails. but lets just forget this then if this doesn’t help. is there anything u like talking about? doesn’t matter what aslong as u enjoy it

>>38619444
A round trip to Belgrade is “only” $850…
I only speak English and German tho

>>38619444

I'm so sorry. I don't know what it's like there for queer people but I'm guessing it's hard.

Were there ever any ways you were able to express your femininity privately or quietly that brought you joy?

>>38619513
>She's dying in 15 days what's the point of tormenting her by making her think of what could have been
She's posting on a trans board regretting not transitioning. She obviously wants to talk about it. To understand her connection to feminity and stuff.

OP, what drew you to wanting to be a girl? Innate? Did you at least get to be a bit feminine in presentation?

>>38619119
>Full body organ failure that cannot be reversed
how did this happen?

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>>38619522
I like video games that are peaceful and soul soothing imagine Violet Evergarden as a game
Animal Cross
>>38619548
I wanted to move to Germany but it will never happen
>>38619554
Some year or two after corona a trans statue memorial was out up due to her being killed in gay panic and it got trashed within hours
>>38619561
I always wanted to be a girl it felt better easier and true
>>38619575
My immune system failed and got compromised now Im slowly dying

>>38619584
>My immune system failed and got compromised now Im slowly dying


was there any symptoms leading up to this? I feel I have similar symptoms

>>38619584
So you’re saying I should kidnap you and drag you into Germany…

>>38619607
Weakness of the body
Im dumb to explain but you would understand what I mean
You just become slower and slower and sicklier

>>38619584

I'm about to have to go but I don't want to lose touch with you--do you use discord? Add me if you like: myhouz

If not I'll check back with this thread later.

Also how sequestered/isolated are you? Would it be possible to order something and have it delivered to you, or is your immune system at too much risk?

>>38619619
>You just become slower and slower and sicklier
I felt this way for a long time until I got over some kind of hump.

how was your level of activity/diet growing up?

also
do you want to makeout

>>38619584
srry idk violet evergarden. i know animal crossing but no switch so never played it. do u still play it? if u do just tell me something and post screenshots if u have them, only cozy game i have is stardew but haven’t played it in 2 years or smth

>>38619616
Would they let me in
>>38619621
I sent I am keytiu
I am in the hospital all day
>>38619654
I was mostly inside my entire childhood
>>38619669
I dont have a switch anymore

>>38619684
do u have anything else u play games on?

>>38619692
My phone

>>38619684
Probably not if I’d kidnapped you, but I really do wonder if you could call into their embassy and ask for a favor. If the doctors don’t want to move you, like fuck how could things be worse and it’s a last wish?
Also hey some other questions:
What sort of stuff are you into or curious about doing professionally? Do you have any overall wishes for the world? Any particularly favorite flowers or landscapes? And most importantly, had you been a girl, what’d your name have been?
I want the world to have some mark on it because of you
I can make a discord too if you’d rather say there

>>38619584
I love animal crossing!! What was your town fruit and the color of your airport? I had pears and my airport was green. I liked the way the cherries looked best though so i cut down all the pear trees and planted cherries. I used to spend hours catching stags on the island in animal crossing new leaf (the game for the 3DS) because they would sell for so many bells. But i didnt spend so much time catching bugs in new horizons because there was so many other features like terraforming

>>38619119
You speak great english. Did you learn as a child? Are most Serbians fluent in english?

>>38619684
>I was mostly inside my entire childhood
so you dont wanna makeout?

>>38619733
I just wanted to be a housewife but I ended up going one year then dropping out of finance major
I wish to be happy, and I like rose
I dont know about a name because I never thought of it
>>38619762
I had bananas
>>38619784
Years of being in your room online makes u learn it easy, yea, somewhat

>>38619823
I mean, Rose is a decently common English name :)
Why’d you want to move to Germany?

>>38619119
Do the docs give you painkillers at least?

>>38619947
I meant rose the flowers as liking
I dont know truly but I like Germany
>>38619963
If I get too much of a dosage I would speed up death

Ill go sleep soon probably
My discord
keytiu
Thanks everyone for talking

>>38620010
good night <3

>>38619983
By any other name, they’d smell as sweet…
I’m gonna think of you as Rose unless you find a name that you like more
Are you into any book series, did you ever entertain wanting to write anything?

>>38620010
hey if i message you on discord does that mean you'll be down to have a hot erotic roleplaying make out session?

>>38620010
sleep well!

>>38620113
please consider 41ing

>>38620010

Add her y'all :)

>>38620113
There is no beauty left in you and when you die your soul will go nowhere, trapped with all the dust in the cosmos

God.

>>38619584
> wanted to move to Germany but it will never happen
thank god

>>38619119
Its unfortunate, but its best not to sugarcoat it. Dying sucks, a lot. It hurts, its scary. Your brain has chemicals that make it more bearable, everyone who has ever lived either has or will die, its natural, it will come to you naturally.

I think even the still to live your age have a lot of regrets, things they wished they had done differently. As you take stock of your life in these last days of it, try to be gentle with yourself, and keep that context in mind. There is nothing unusually cruel about it in the grand scheme of things. Try to find some kind of peace in the things you enjoyed about your life, maybe write a list of all the things you wished you could have seen come to pass and write an ethical will for others to read. Libraries and religious institutions often keep such records as publically available, long after you die it may touch someone else, and some of those things may come to pass for someone else, whatever small comfort that is.
T. Used to work hospice

>>38620882
I pray you get sepsis and die in slow agony

>>38620944
I don't think there's any God that will do that for you, anon.

>>38619119
DO NOT ENTER INTO THE WHITE LIGHT
I REPEAT
DO NOT ENTER INTO THE WHITE LIGHT
DO NOT ENTER INTO THE WHITE LIGHT
DO NOT ENTER INTO THE WHITE LIGHT

bump

luckyyyyyy

i will tell my friends about you

>>38624066
Probably a lie

>>38619119
I'm so sorry anon life can be really unfair
if you enjoy this board I'm usually around here daily if you want to try to keep the thread alive and talk to people

I'm really am sorry I have type 1 diabetes and a few other conditions but nothing that will kill me before 50 or 60 I can only imagine being 22 with more days behind me than in front of me

What were some of your favorite things to do in life? I did a lot of stuff when I was younger but as I got into my 20s I kinda just play video games and watch too much anime

>>38619119
i love you anon. i dont know you but i love you.
>>38619684
may i add you anon?

>>38619441
>literally crying
it got me sobbing too. this thread was hard to read but also made me feel warm in a way

>>38624066
>>38624082
i hope it is fake

>>38619444
im sorry, serbian goddess

>>38619119
god please be fake

jerkin the fuck outta my penis rn

>>38619119
i wish i could rule the world so everyone could be free and not be scared about being openly queer

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>>38619119
thoughts on this

>>38619119
im very sorry you have to face this :(
i just prayed to the goddess for you anon <3

i prayed that she will guide your soul to a better life in your next iteration - and for you to be born as a human girl on this world if possible, but if not then atleast for you to be born as what we would consider the female of whatever alien species on some distant world, especially one that would share traits with our conception of femininity

i also prayed for your suffering to be eased as much as possible in the time you have left

good luck anon <3 i hope her love and blessings find you )*

also please don't be afraid to assume for pain medicine if your in pain, you should do everything you can to reduce your suffering

i hope you find a better life and better chances next time

please take care im so sorry :((

>>38620010
Bless you, the Lord atleast knows you're a woman, even if no one else in your life does

>>38619119
We got Bro dying before gta6 :skull:

Morning to all
Thank you for adding me on Discord

>>38626106
ja zivim blizu srbije, jel ti treba neshto? mogu da ti donesem i nalakiram nokte. bilo shta

>>38619119
I'm so srry. if u have a discord please drop it, I have a terminal illness nd will be in the same situation u are within the next few years or sooner. maybe we can relate over our shitty circumstances.

>>38619119
Did you take the vax?

>>38619119
can you post some selfies to remember you by?
t. st4t pooner

>>38624549
i will choose to believe it’s fake for my own sake and because there are a lot of attentionwhores on this board

>>38619119
Niggawatt?
This can't be real.
I refuse.

Anon, I love you so much. Your post really touched me. All of us will travel the same path, eventually. Everyone before you, everyone who still lives, and everyone who will live someday in the future. I'm sorry this lifetime was unkind to you.

Even though your body is in great pain, I hope you can take some refuge in the awareness you still have. Try just looking at an object in your room, any object, and really looking at it. Notice all the features and tiny details that you can, as though you've never seen it before. This helps me when I have to go through painful illnesses, surgery, that kind of thing.

I wish you all the freedom, peace, and ease that you can find during your passage. All the good actions you've taken in your life, any time you ever made someone laugh or smile, it all had an effect. Every time you sincerely told someone, "thank you," it had an effect. Even though your body will drop away, the rippling effects of those actions will continue on, forever, for all sentient beings to benefit from. I will try to the best girl I can be, for you. I love you, and I miss you already even though I don't know you. Rest easy anon. </3

I love you

>>38626553
bless you )*

>>38619119
VAX STATUS?

>>38627090
looooool

>>38627090
Buck status? BROKEN

>>38619119
good fuck you die faggot

>>38619119
>>38619119
peace out man now you don't have to pay bills or work 40 hours a week until you die of bowel cancer and obesity at 65

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>>38619119
You are a girl, Anon. You always have been.
Endless love to both you and >>38626183

omg im so sorry :c
i wish i could help or offer advice in some way, if u drop ur disc we can chat too. stay strong girlie

>>38619119
i love you so so much. i know i don’t know you but this made me cry a lot just know seeing this. i don’t really know what else to say but you are loved

>>38620149
>>38620321
I'm literally doing a service for OP. I can make her feel loved before she goes.

i really hope this is fake :(
you are loved, OP, you will be remembered as a woman

OP was a faggot until her last. And she was a good girl, too. Amen.

what is your name serbian girl?

>>38619119
What happened???

>>38619119

Trust me. You're a girl.

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What a grim reality. I'm so sorry. Rest in peace.

>>38630830
you disgust me

>>38619983
are you a girl twink

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>>38619119
Anon, is there anything you want to hear from another human being? I will remember you.

>>38619119
this is a sad post

somehow it makes me feel angry at myself that i can't change your fate.

>>38619119
Despite all the fucking misanthropy and general hatred for life on this board, I want you to know that for all its worth, you lived a good life. Perhaps fate wasn't exactly kind, but I'd love to meet you in the next life

Sweet dreams Queen

>>38619119
I've been close enough to death to see and feel the blood stop moving around my body and to feel my mind going, more than once. Getting there very much can be the hell we all fear it is, but I was receiving no medical care in my case so for you it should, if they're doing their jobs right, be very different. Regardless, from my experiences I believe that the last thing any of us will touch, after going through the worst of it and losing all hope, is total continuity with reality. It'll feel like relief at the last instant. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for you.

>>38621054
Elaborate

>>38620876
>I think even the still to live your age have a lot of regrets
???