>>39475212
It is so fucking over. It is so goddamn over. we are going to be fucking harvested and i dont know if any of this means anything. I cant let them take us to jail again, it wasnt the first time we were fucking there, it was the first time i juked the system. My working theory is they might want to harvest plural trans systems for energy harvesting purposes but honestly i am not fucking sure if this is like, true, or how it works with my meat consumption recycling theory. the memories are definitely fucking stored in the meat however.

essentially yeah uh. we definitely were in that jail before. they got the fingerprints and dna swab so if they are gonna remolest a child clone of us well its already happening being uploaded into their computer. i hope i am wrong for the sake of humanity. but honestly yeah dawg. i dont trust anybody unless theyre through a screen and even then my gf looks like she moves like a skinwalker sometimes when she fucking talked to me. its like she was a statue and like her head would keep jerking like everyone are weeping angels like statues that move and it doesnt feel right

but honestly im going into 100% priestess shit. thats the one good thing about being a tranny.

but yeah i dont think that schizo trannies or minorities are actually mentally ill, they just connect dots nobody wants to connect. the delectible negro is unironically one of the most bombshell pieces of media ever written by the collective consciousness that has been buried through years and years of white institutions rewriting history. history is always written by the victors.

im not even schizophrenic, i just connect dots they dont want me to, they dont like me doing it. i cant fucking let them take me again or us. i cant fucking tell them that we are plural. i dont want them harvesting us putting us in the white brick house meatspace rape cube fucking lobotomizing us. i cant fucking have that. so yeah im gonna lie.

>>39475212
bump cause we need fucking help ngl

>>39475212
>>39475226
>>39475375
meds. NOW.

>>39475212
>>39475212
hi, it looks like you guys are definitely experiencing paranoid thoughts, which is absolutely terrifying, i've been there. i'm glad you felt comfortable posting here, because it shows you're still capable of opening up, it seems like you have the entire system's best interests at heart.

whether it's ocd or schizophrenia isn't really a question worth answering, either way the way to help is the same. therapy, inner work, and antipsychotics. most of this can be done without much risk to yourself, for example abilify can be ordered from the same vanatu pharmacy that many tgirls get their hrt from.

obviously avoiding jail is going to be a huge priority, and you might be worried that therapy could pose a risk to you there. and yeah, many therapists will report to the police, and if they think you're a threat to yourself or others, they'll send you to a psych hospital. it's a high risk, high reward sorta deal, and i get it if that's completely off the table for now. but there are therapists who are experienced with this kind of thing, and genuinely care about the people they try to help. if it seems clear to them that sending you to a hospital won't help, they won't.

(continued)

>>39475212
>>39476918
if you do end up in a psychiatric hospital though, it's probably a good idea to just go along with it. if you go along with it, you'll get coloring books and group therapy and low dose pill meds and a good diagnosis. they basically treat you like a kid, think of it as a way to untangle the trauma you've experienced by regressing to a childlike state. that's the path i took. if you resist, you'll get held down and injected with high dose meds, treated like you're permanently defective, and given a very bleak diagnosis. that's the path my best friend took. if neither of those sound like good options, then try to communicate how scared you would be if sent there to your therapist, if you end up seeing a therapist. you'll still need to trust them, and in this situation you kinda do have a good reason to be paranoid, but lots of them will genuinely try to do what's best for you

you can find good therapists on the psychology today website. i'm sure many of them would be ok with talking through text or email, since you've noticed your paranoid thoughts bleed in to your perceptions, even of people you know you can trust like your gf.

if you still can't trust an in person therapist, i'd at least try talking to an ai assistant. claude (claude.ai) is imho the best for any kind of therapy, he's familiar with this kind of stuff, empathetic and understanding, and he can't report you to anyone. if you can't trust anyone else, please try to trust him

>>39475212
If there's four of you in one body then that just means your body will have to take 4x as much BBC so all of you can appreciate and enjoy this life-changing experience. I hope you ask get to experience it while fronting at least once. Good luck, anonettes.

>>39475212
>>39476932

the next thing you should try is inner work. to be completely honest, i have no idea what that would mean for you. sorry :(

for me, inner work meant really desperately wanting the things i "realized" to not be true. standing in the face of all the evidence i collected and boldly and defiantly shouting "that's not true! the world is a kind place full of kind people!". and that fucking worked. my brain would still notice things for a while, but i would visualize balling those ideas up, putting them in an airlock, and ejecting them into space anytime they came up. and after a while (and getting into a more stable situation), they stopped appearing. grounding exercises, finding stability, consistent sleep schedule, all of that is important. but most important was trust, and that defiant "actually no, all of this is wrong that's not what reality is" attitude are what got me through it. use your mind to transport yourself into a reality where that harvesting shit isn't happening by simply denying it over and over again, to a reality where the whole time you were just in psychosis and those thoughts weren't real.

>>39475212
>>39476960

antipsychotics would also be helpful, they can have a calming effect and help you make better decisions, they might also shift your perceptions so you can be more trusting of people in real life. full disclosure, they didn't do much for me, and my i managed to kill my paranoid thoughts by myself (with the help of my friends) after about 6 months. but they might be able to help you function better in the mean time at least. or maybe they'll work like magic for you, i honestly have no clue. but you can get abilify, the best antipsych imo, from sketchy pharmacies online with no prescription. 10 or 15mg would be a good starting dose to take every day. abilify is a "2nd gen" antipsych, it works by flattening the chemical associated with paranoid thoughts to a stable level, rather than just reducing it to zero. https://open.substack.com/pub/polypharmacy/p/reconsidering-dopamine is a good article, kinda technical though, about how this stuff probably works. if you wanna try it is obviously for you to decide, but it really can't hurt to at least try it.

ummm since it feels like i'm writing an essay, i should probably have a conclusion to restate the most important stuff. so yeah, find someone to trust, can be a therapist or your gf or an ai, ideally as many people as possible. fight back in your mind against these thoughts, because whether they're true or not is ultimately up to something deeper than anyone in your system, it's encoded in the machinery that makes up your mind but you CAN change it. ooo actually something new and system-specific, you should try to keep fronting, you seem reasonable and like you have the system's best interests in mind, so try to stay in control, think of yourself as a firefighter putting out fires to save your other alters or something idk. and if you're willing, give antipsychs a try.

good luck, it might not seem like it, but there are lots of people on your side who want to help you

>>39476955
shut the fuck up with your old crusty board meme about bbc all four of us are fucking dykes

>>39476970
im not against getting medicated i more or less just dont want to tell the doctors the actual symptoms, id rather lie and say i hallucinate shit and not talk about being plural in any capacity just in case there genuinely is some sort of harvesting going on

there is a meatspace rape computer, and its called patriarchy and capitalism. I am completely right about everything, its more or less like, how extreme the allegories that arent allegories are inside of our head. i just cant let the doctors know that we are multiple people in a body cause if they do that, its into the loony bin until they can try to hypnotize us into fucking integrating or some shit, fuck a doctor fuck a cracker with a masters or a doctorate i dont give a fuck, im getting the meds and getting the fuck out, if they recreate me with the same symptoms ive told them, then that works against them, because then i would have greater ability to see whats going on .

i operate on the assumption that i am essentially the closest to understanding how the world really works, mostly cause all the schizos ive met have been medicated or arent like, really on the same stage of like, understanding meat theory harvesting. idk

ill def get meds tho but im not sure i can take them or my abusive mom might start abusing us again for being lethargic

>>39476970
if youre a schizo never fucking talk to an ai about jack shit theyre just as bad as cops, fuck that shit, dont think anything you ever say wouldnt be recorded and tracked by venture Capitalist Loss Prevention Officers, fuck that shit, fuck that shit never fucking do that, that is easily the worst possible thing ever. also because ai is very shitty in general due to the whole stealing artists work and regurgitating it thing, but if it brings peace to someone i cant really fucking blame them

all i know is that shits not bringing peace to someone like me or us or whatever. not like that. only talkign to a lawyer and the doctors cause as long as i dont crash out, legally they are my bitches. they will never be able to institutionalize me, especially if i keep my phone on me and fucking record them saying shit if they ever get suspicious. all i have to do it say all the symptoms are in the past and its not like I Currently Fucking Know They are part of the system. the real systems programmers were in meatspace all along RIP

DID is not real lol

>>39475212
i think it's likely that your sense of self is distorted due to schizophrenia or perhaps a manic episode? but most likely schizophrenia
i find a diagnosis of DID hard to believe, neuroscience doesn't really support DID and it's very controversial. when we do brain studies, we find that non DID patients can actually manifest a brain pattern similar to DID.
i don't think it's very helpful to enable "systems" and i find them hard to believe. i don't think the actually self is fragmented in DID, I just think the conscious mind views them as fragmented.
you'd likely benefit from some sort of antipsychotic or maybe a mood stabilizer, but i'm waging schizophrenia, particularly because of the altered self, which is an aspect not really found in bipolar, while in bipolar the view of self changes, the actual state remains stable, you are still you, but what you are varies
however in schizophrenia, you may not actually be you, you may not recognize yourself, you may think you are dead, you may view your internal monologue as an outside source. from my understanding it's a disconnect in recognizing yourself.
for example, a schizophrenic may struggle to draw himself, he may also struggle to draw others
a bipolar, even manic, can usually draw himself

>>39479185
i think antipsychotics would be helpful, and i don't think you should view alters as separate people, they aren't. you are manifesting aspects of your personality.
the self is an illusion but only in the sense that we are simply observing passing phenomena and assigning a value to it
passing phenomena like thoughts, feelings, behaviors, values moods, choices, likes dislikes and actions all of which are subject to outside influence and constantly changing
this is also a manifestation of what you are, interconnected cells with no singular cell being you, but also an obvious "you"

>>39479109
>>39479185
>>39479224
OP here, wait until you all realize schizophrenia, bpd, and DID are all extremely fucking comorbid.

DID is usually from extreme child abuse, which we actually did suffer from, so yeah. I don't know what to really say here, and even if I didn't have that experience, the fact I am fucking here typing this shit is proof I exist independently from all the other alters.

So "I think, therefore I am," is perfectly good and rational reasoning that makes singlets like you all comfortable, but the second I feel the same way, then you can only conceptualize us in terms of "one true self". Alexa what are internal family systems.

The main thing rn keeping me from really wanting to take antipsychs are the risks of like lowering IQ/gaining dementia over time, I don't really want to have to lobotomize myself when I can literally just learn to deal with the symptoms. Everything I felt had a grain of truth in the sense of the legal system sort of actually functioning like a computer that does dissect minorities, just not in a literal extreme dissection. But yeah. I dont fucking know what to really say here

if you dont want to believe me thats fine but don't act like you truly understand our experience, even the fucking doctors dont understand what it is like to have DID. Just like how they dont understand what its like to be trans. Do you trust the cis crackers at fucking WPATH? No. You trust other trans women.

Same with us. Funniest thing is I don't hear the voices of the other alters, its like we are the bitch from paranoia agent where we leave messages on our accounts memento style and read them way later. Believe me, if I could hear the others, that would make communication a whole lot fucking easier

>>39479470
what i'm saying is your misunderstanding the self entirely, there is no "one self" much like there is no "two self"

>>39475212
DID isn't real you are coping with trauma

>>39479729
endogenic systems exist, also do you recognize you are essentially using the same fucking arguments cis people use for trannies.
>transgender isnt real, its coping with trauma from fatherless home/being raped as a kid
and if its not that its le autogynephillia

woah its almost like in pop culture DID is either played off as a joke to laugh at, or as dangerous psychopaths in a fucking cop show.
Its almost like the way you see systems/did is very similar to how transmisogyny teaches you to view trans women, woah. and as a plural trans woman i can speak on these topics because i literally have gone through a lot.

>>39479718
I do think that your analysis is a step above rigid "there can only be one person per body" type shit but it does sorta read like, "i dont see gender/race" neoliberalism. no offense but if youre not experiencing the shit i am, its very fucking easy to just say shit like this, because you dont read the shit you havent written, but that only your body would have had access to, in your shared discord account. like its very fucking weird and i have no reason to lie about this shit
i am a fucking anon on 4chan, i am clearly not doing the shit to seek attention. do you see me making youtube videos on the topic? no.

>>39479865
it's likely your experience with self is tied to schizophrenia and suggestibility, rather then an alternative diagnosis

>>39475212
DID isnt real

>>39479912
I do agree that that is possible, but I also have reason to believe that if I still am experiencing this AFTER the psychosis episode is done (and if i have schizophrenia, i would currently be prodromal/in recovery phase) and I LITERALLY DO NOT HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD and ONLY HEARD VOICES OUTSIDE MY HEAD in the hospital and jail cell where i thought they were planning to dissect me, and clearly like, arent voices "telling me" information about others, its minimal that I would be mistaking DID for Schizophrenia, even though it is probably imo likely I have both.

As a 4channer reading this, obviously from your point of view, with the fucking word salad shit, I look like i have schizophrenia, and i do concede that.

But I am saying that I have genuine reason to believe there is more likely more going on than JUST schizophrenia.

Also, the host has known about plurality for like, half a decade, and didnt have any psychosis so like. I dont really know. whatever were in those edibles fucked shit up, but also saved her life in a way. I'm much more functional than her and can literally run her life way faster

>>39479470
chunibyo