Saturday Morning Editionprevious: >>40884987 >>41014692 Goal of the thread: Take some aspect of self care you are procrastinating and try make a game of it, keep score! Tell us what it is you struggle with, too.Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!>What is this thread for?Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.>Why is this thread /lgbt/?Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.>Notes to consider:Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION>Note on adviceGeneric advice won't necessarily help you in particular, but for those it does it is an essential foundation to build future progress on, not a miracle cure. Do not underestimate the effects subtle changes to your lifestyle can have. Try first, keep us posted on your progress, build from there.We are *always* short on self help resources, so if anything was useful to you, let us know!Since the OP is getting too long I moved all resources into their own post, see below!## RESOURCE LINKS:Resource link paste: https://rentry.co/sig-resources-2025-07General advice from Anons: https://sntry.cc/sig-tips-2024-04Posts from other sites (markdown format): https://sntry.cc/sig-posts-2024-04
Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!- prepare 1 load of laundry- do 1 load of laundry- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish- eat a meal- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes- make your bed- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)- do the dishes for 3 minutes- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)- Open your window for 10-20 minutes- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)- take out the trash- drink a glass of water- put one item of trash in the bin- reach out to an online contact- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2Alright, I woke up late today but I'm gonna leave for a coffee before posting anything else. Take care.
>>41025824Nice, the owl!
Demon sig anon dad…Enjoy the coffee break
>>41025819why the hell is everyone telling me to start journaling?! am actually starting to feel angry everytime someone tells me love stolas tho
>>41026083How does the anger feel? When does it start? Could you perhaps journal a little here about what happens when someone tells you to journal?
>>41026083out of curiosity, what do people rec it for? it's a common suggestion but it's worth looking into what it is supposed to accomplish, as the same thing might be accomplished otherwise
>>41026258Self-reflection
>>41026403>Self-reflectionAh, my old arch enemy.
>>41026258usually when it comes to dysphoria , dissociation or doubting my own expirience
>>41026447Hm, dissociation I wouldn't know how it would help. A lot of the time journaling is more about helping you articulate feelings, or committing things felt in the moment to a more objective memory than our meat caskets. Are you familiar with the term rubber ducking? It would be a more social approach to how to try and deal with some of it. However, for dissociation grounding is more something to look into, we also have a book on the subject though.>>41026403I mean that tends to be one of the purposes but I was wondering about Anon's specific case.
>>41026466>A lot of the time journaling is more about helping you articulate feelingswell i now often before sleep have like 30minute conversation with chatgpt about my curent feelings which i guess has this effect nut idk if it counts as journaling
>>41026578You could easily write down in a journal what you'd tell chatgpt, yes. Talking to people might be an even better idea perhaps! I would like to better understand why the suggestion of journaling annoyed you to begin with other than it being ubiquitous, because if it is just a thing that is tedious for you I am always willing to try and think alternatives through with people.
I'll see if I can post before bed tonight, fuck I am tired.
>>41025819birdie
I got my eyebrows done for the first time today. I don't know much about eyebrows. But now that I'm back home, I'm wondering, should I have asked for thinner ones? I still feel like my eyes look very masculine here.
>>41028625Like maybe I should have shown her a picture of thinner eyebrows, like this?But I don't know if that would that work for my face.
>>41028625I can’t speak to trends or what looks best on you, but my understanding is that getting your eyebrows shaped is like getting your hair cut. If you don’t like your brows so thick, you can get them styled thinner next time.
>>41028695At first she barely did anything and said "I just cleaned it up. Do you want it thinner?" I said yes, and she was surprised, probably because I'm still boymoding, but did make them thinner. I was too self-conscious to ask to make them thinner a second time but maybe I should have.But does it look okay? I feel like it's an improvement but do thick brows look overly masculine?
>>41028625Looks pretty neatly done to me.
I performed autofellatio today. Well, just barely, I managed to lick the tip of my dick a few times.
am I asexual?>khhv until 20>spend a year dating a trans guy>break up >no sex for 2 years after >bad sex with trans girl >a year has passed since then >the thought of sex now makes me sick to my stomach, convinced all potential partners are unfaithful or that they'd find me disgusting, worst mental health in years>now in intensive therapyI can't see a world where I find someone who would want me
>>41028749I think what’s more important is that you regret not asking the person to thin your brows again. I think your brows look fine the way they are, they’re not like an objective eyesore. But you should get your brows the way you want, and practice asking for what you want from a brow tech even though it’s scary. I think that’s why you feel bad, because it’s not what you wanted.
>>41029684Thanks. Maybe that's it. Next time I'll ask for thinner. I'm also feeling insecure because I feel like my eyes don't look like a girl's/woman's eyes, and I thought better eyebrows would help.
>>41029989It’s a good approach to find ways to compensate for features you’re insecure about, to feel more like you’re in control of them, but the downside is that your self-esteem only has so much to do with how you actually look. It’s good to feel like you’re doing everything you can to look your best, but you also need to internalize the idea that you’re enough regardless of how you look or how you feel about your looks. That’s not a quick, easy belief to build, but that’s why it’s so important to start working on it right away.
>>41029989Put another way, if you don’t like the way your eyes look, there might be an objective reason for that, and you can make your eyes look better with the right brow shaping, but you can decide your eyes look bad no matter how they actually look, and it’s possible that nothing you can do to improve your appearance will give you the satisfaction you need if you invest your sense of self worth in your appearance. Self-image can be really arbitrary, and it’s so easy for consumer industries to make money from convincing people they aren’t pretty enough (and that pretty is a very important thing to be) that it’s very easy to develop a negative self-image by just existing in our world. Those kinds of messages are easier to internalize than we realize, you know? And that goes double for transgirls like you and me, where there are people saying constantly that we aren’t women at all, and that we don’t look like women either. That kind of talk can have an effect on you even if you don’t consciously believe it, you know?
>>41030442>>41030571Thank you for the detailed advice. I should probably focus less on my looks. Just hard when I'm finally putting effort into my appearance transitioning. It was easier to ignore my appearance when I was a doomer who took HRT and thought I'd never pass and that's it. I need to build my self-worth in general, probably.I don't feel like I can trust my own perception on how I look.
>>41030832I’m glad I can help. I know from firsthand experience that something small like getting your eyebrows done is both a constructive act of self-care, and this hugely symbolic and intimidating process of moving forward with your transition. Working on your appearance is definitely something you should do, and taking pride in the effort you’re making is good also. Like I’ve heard about research showing that it’s better to encourage a kid by saying “You worked hard” instead of “You’re smart,” because being smart isn’t thought of as strictly the result of effort, and that can have negative effects like impostor syndrome (“They think I’m smart, but am I really?”) or complacence, where you think you don’t have to work hard if you’re smart.
>>41031005TL DR, you need to take pride in what you do rather than what you “are,” especially if what you are is something that’s based on how other people perceive you and other things you can’t fully control.
>>40997827>What I need to know is the things that scare you/that you struggle with.When talking to people, I have a near-constant fear of being judged for what I say, what I do, how I behave, etc. I also tend to set very high standards for myself, such that I often give up on tasks prematurely. Another thing is that uncertainty paralyzes me, like if I don't know the exact procedure for something I panic.(If that isn't the information you were looking for I apologize, I'm not the best at intuiting such things)>I suggest looking into itI think I found something good via my therapist, I still have to figure out details but it could happen in the next week or two.
alright sweethearts I promised myself not to stay awake until 3 am anymore so keep this thread bumped OR SO HELP ME I'LLmake a new one. Don't worry. But I WILL frown, so I am counting on you!! I have faith.
did like half an hour of university work before crying over not passing. this is better than not getting any work done. baby steps
