>>41272648
My family and I saw an alien once

>>41272648
in a theoretical sense that I'm sure they exist somewhere in the universe, but I don't believe any have been anywhere near us

they exist but idk if they are here yet or if the government uses disclosure of UAPs to distract us.
take your meds alice

I think I probably would've trooned if every tranny wasn't part of some morally repugnant perverted sub-culture.

>>41272697
>take your meds alice
make me

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>>41272697
never. the ayys have shown themselves to me during sleep paralysis and instructed me to prepare the world for their arrival. their will be done

>>41272708
im sure you'd love that faggot. but the god's honest truth is no one is going to make you. you need to make that choice yourself and you need to want better for yourself. i just hope you are strong enough to do that.

none of you will ever look or be female, and that doesn't matter because females are worthless to society

>>41272764
:(

>>41272702
This except id be lying if some part of me didn't want to live that hedonistic life

>>41272788
its ok starting hrt isn't too bad and probably not as bad as you've built it up to be in your head

>>41272801
I'm a germophobe, the idea of the hedonistic lifestyle is intensely disgusting to me.

>>41272648
sat next to a guy on a plane who told me he saw them in the navy so yes
he also told me I should start smoking cigs to clear the spike proteins in my system to get vaccinated
the things you learn

so i'm just gonna be upset that iwnbaw every day?

>>41273104
cigs taste like dragons ass, better you put on frocks and suck on different kind of fags. its mix of big tobacco shilling and crackpottery like Laura Knight-Jadczyk that promotes smoking as good. smoke itself is not that bad as we humans had long long time exposure to smije frim fires warming up huts and lijes but nicotine itself is cancerogenic, immunosuppressive, atherogenic and vasoconstrictive.

>>41273268
Yes.

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>>41272648
can only get off to tranny thoughts where i get fucked by a man. no interest in women. every girlfiend i had i lost interest in because AGP would always come back. literally wish i woke up as a bimbo tranny whore every day.

can anyone help me? how can i rep?

>>41273429
why not just get fucked by a man as is?

>>41273382
this sucks
life is not fair

>>41273445
I just feel ugly as a man. I feel fake. It's not enjoyable to me that way because I'll feel like that.

Gonna drink a monster then masturbate to twinks then read some poetry (Rilke probs). life is GOOD and has everything in it already and I will never, never, never, never, NEVER transition as long as I live :)

>>41272648
>Do you believe in aliens?
Yes but I don't like Sci fi that includes Aliens. We have no basis for them so its just humans or bugs.

I wish I was a hung transbian

>>41273429
This sounds more like porn rot than trans thoughts, anon.

>>41274524
haven't watched it in months and honestly never watched it that much before. it never held a candle to my imagination when i'm by myself. i've already gone out as a girl and hooked up with guys before.

>>41272670
that was me
i came in peace

Having one of those moments where I think I've finally snapped out of it and escaped the tranny curse. Hopefully it lasts longer than a few hours this time.

bf broke up with me and the tranny thoughts are back

i think the anti androgens are finally kicking in and now i look like a weird gay woman with a man jaw holy fuck hrt repping is cringe bros

>>41274758
oh nooo I look like a woman

>>41274909
i mean ok more like an uncanny looking man with boobs. the feminine facial fat is welcome though

>>41275095
I'm tempted to hrt repper again because I turn into a zero bucal fat ghoul off hrt and it exaggerates my neanderthal brows :(

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any tips for finding purpose? i don't have a reason to keep living, but i'm too scared to kill myself.

>>41272686
hrt literally doesn t do anything besides gyno, stop encouraging people to take it like is a magic fix, is cringe

>>41276056
i actually freaked out a little when i started doing actual research on the average results of hrt (not the 1% that gets miraculous results). people on hrt for 2-3 years with ugly conetits as their greatest achievement are always so depressing to see.
my world feels more constrictive every day. there's no escape. no point. my cowardice and occasional religious delusions are the only thing keeping me afloat.

im on hrt and i have some supportive trans friends but i want to get rid of it all and kill myself still no matter what i do im a curse and a poison on this world and i deserve to die

bit dramatic dont you think?

>>41272648
gays like anal probes? color me shocked

>>41275463
yeah same, if i was just normal and had an attractive face i wouldnt need to castrate myself to look human

>>41276351
its not just boobs, hair thins out, you smell better, your skin gets paler and softer, you do get some fat redistribution.

like yes it sucks and i dont pass and i have boobs i have to hide but like what am i gonna do keep aging as a man? keep denying life to myself? fuck off. running this shit into the ground

How do you deal with this mental illness

>>41277129
Avoiding people and mirrors, keeping myself distracted with escapism, and plenty of booze.

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>>41276911
>hair thins out, you smell better, your skin gets paler and softer, you do get some fat redistribution
and with all of this, the vast majority of trannies are still clocky as fuck. it doesn't matter if you have softer skin and maybe better hair if your skeleton is built like the colossal titan, technology is just not there yet. you either start before/during puberty or it's completely over.
i'm 6'0" tall, anon. no matter how much i look like a woman, my height and skeleton will snitch on me. there is nothing sadder than trying to change nature and failing.
and even if i passed, i'd still be an "other". even if i magically managed to go stealth and nobody else knew, i would. i'd know until my death i'm a fake.

>like yes it sucks and i dont pass and i have boobs i have to hide but like what am i gonna do keep aging as a man? keep denying life to myself?
this is the difference between us. you're okay being clocky and getting meh results. i can't afford that. i can't accept trying to transition when it's clearly not meant for me. i'm too tall, i'm too old, i'm too weird for it to ever work out.
not everyone lives in portland or something. i need to choose between being a man or trooning and stealthing, there is no other option where i'm anything else and able to live a somewhat respectable life.

>inb4 just manmode forever
that just feels like delaying the inevitable. it's over. transitioning is a means to an end, you troon so you can pass and become a woman, at least as far as most of society is concerned. manmoding forever is like a caterpillar staying inside the cocoon forever.
if you can't pass, hrt is pointless.

dht blockers are fine, anti androgens and estrogen are stupid. Just accept you're a hon freak at that point

>>41277451
You are a dumb nigger, plenty of trannies started after puberty and they look fine. I started at 20 and i have a straight bf

>>41277586
This threads is full of 30+ year old reppers, anon.

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>>41277586
glad it worked out for you, anon, but i hope you have the common sense to understand just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will to others.
i was being a bit dramatic with the whole "after your mid teens it's over" thing, but i think that's a good average. some have strong and quick growth spurts early on, while others grow very slowly. i'm the former. even if i trooned at 16, it would still be kind of rough to pass, because my puberty was pretty much done by then. i have massive stretch marks on my back and thighs even though i've always been skinny as hell, because i just grew up extremely fast.
anyways, some people develop fast, while others take their time. if you're part of the latter group, you can definitely transition later on in life and actually pass, but that doesn't mean it's normal or that everyone else can.

>>41277639
on an unrelated note, am i the only one noticing actual trannies showing up more and more often as of late? i don't remember this general having so many of them.

>>41277750
>more trannies
I dont think its a cultural thing or a cult. I think k that people are just physically and mentally unhealthy compared to the past. Poison food/late births

>>41277955
psyop bot detected

>>41277988
What makes you say that

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>>41277955
just physically and mentally healthy for (you)
>>41278050

>>41278166
*unhealthy

>>41277586
I started at 16 and I just got gyno

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>>41272648
take your HRT, retards

>>41277451
im 6'1 and i dont think twice about it, so ill be tall and androgynous so what, the hottest girls i know are all 6 feet tall

>>41278278
Okay, just take me into your home, wash me, feed me, fuck me, give me a job at least as a housekeeper or something like that. But you won't be able to do that because I'm in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

>>41278241
Damn I had gyno at 16 for free

>tfw no repper gf to forcefem and take care of and pay for surgeries with my well paying programming job

>>41278741
giwtwm

>>41278278
>above average male waist, hip, and chest size
>massive fuckass adams apple
>not a 5'5 asian
i'd rather die than end up being a gorillahon, nty

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Just jerked off after roleplaying with an ai for two hours pretending i was a male spy disguised as a maid who falls in love with the guy he was meant to spy on
Tomorrow I'm going to go back to pretending I'm completely straight and normal

>>41280000
based and checked

>>41280000
You have to be stupid to goon with a chatbot

>>41280162
Yes call me a stupid vapid whore....

i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
IW ANT TO DIE
I WANT TO DIE
I WANT TO DIE

>>41280316
ive cursed your next life to be another repper

>>41280343
fuck you

Damn I actually want boobs but im too much of a pussy to embrace that

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i would honestly be ok being a man if i could look like a twink forever
but nooo i gotta go bald and become bulky. evolution sucks.

>>41280383
I regret ever taking hrt because mine are gross; too far apart, droopy and asymmetric
It'd be one thing for guaranteed perfect breasts you hide in public but you'll probably get cone tits or something

>>41280512
how long were you on hrt for?

Am I a meta attracted man or am I a meta attracted tranny? That is the question.

>>41276019
Why you even need purpose?

What even am i if I've always had fantasies about being a woman since i was very young but I'm also perfectly content with being a man?

i dont mind having small boobs but when i see myself naked i realise how fucked it is, they are actual boobs. on an emaciated twink body. its fucked up i dont think ill ever have sex again

post repfuel trvkes, i need em

jumpscared by gym shirt boysmell after stopping estrogen now I want to fuck myself

beloved babydollanons be kind to yourselves

>>41282388
I look at post FFS results, and how most still don't pass. Really unless someone starts before or during puberty or is a massive luckshit, they'll always look visibly trans regardless of how many surgeries.

killing yourself when you know its the solution to an unfixable problem takes actual courage
living and coping and suffering is for pussies

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Too much of a coward to do it. Such is life.

>>41283442
i've just been making gradually more concrete plans whenever I have a rlly bad day
just need to figure out a good way to get an antiemetic and then should be able to head on out. figure next feb/mar is gonna be it for me

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told my therapist I'm a repping tranno.
He was really supportive and told me about how he had another client who was trans and family who is trans and referred to them as she and her the entire time.

I know I'm presenting as a guy but for some reason every time he calls me a dude and guy it hurts more than it usually does since he knows and wants me to transition.
Just reinforces how I come off.

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Anyone else find a woman online and just become enamoured by her not in a sexual way but in a somber, longing way where you imagine yourself as her

>>41280687
years?

Do intrusive trans thoughts mean I'm trans ?

>>41284686
Do you have OCD? If the thoughts aren't ego dystonic, then you're almost certainly trans

>>41280512
Even “perfect” boobs sag with age. Love what you have at any given point rather than chasing an ideal that is fleeting anyway

>>41284851
I haven't had them long, it's an unflattering shape is all
Spaced three feet apart, uneven, asymmetric, ugly shape

i want to kill myself

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There is a girl, and I dunno how to describe it correctly, not me, but my body has some feelings to her. I don't like it. I can't avoid her, we're friends and we need support of each other. But I fucking smell that she can be into "me", you know. She is not what I like, I am not what she likes. I don't understand why my brain can't stop thinking about her. We have too much contradiction and she wants to see in me something else, she def needs another person, not me.
She wants to have stable life, kids, a strong partner, I'm not gonna have, do or be any of those. I can't be with her with all my bullshit and no way she'll ever know it.

It's killing my time. It's wrong. People don't understand this shit

need to bully a hrt repper with a atrophied cock

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>>41285166
>but my body has some feelings to her.
real af. i can also tell when my brain forces me to feel something in a really primitive way, and it's pure ass. i'll be able to logically know my depressive episode that showed up out of nowhere is not going to last and that my emotions are clouding my judgement, but i can't help but want to die.
the truth is that you're essentially held hostage by your own brain chemistry, and that's just part of being human. you can practice and get better at controlling your response to emotional outbursts, but it will always feel like pure torture.
if you do start something with her, just admit you're a repper right away and see her reaction. if she doesn't want anything to do with you after that, at least none of you went through a song and dance that might've happened if she only found out years later, that would hurt WAY more than any current rejection. this way your brain will also slowly get the memo and move on.
if she's okay with it, then just see how it goes.
t. never been in a relationship

Dunno if this general is for trans-reppers only, so here I go anyways.
I want to suck dick so ridiculously bad, it's insane.
Apart from that I really love my vanilla, married life, so I'll keep on repping and furiously jack off to blowjob porn every once in a while.

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I'm probably just MEF

>>41286282
it is for trans reppers only
I don't think that's weird, porn is very giver pov imo so it's not uncommon for men to want to give blowjobs despite being otherwise straight. I always see posts along the lines of some grindr situationship where it's blowjobs only

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tfw blowjob fetish but when I tried to give a tranny one I threw up from the sensation/unfamiliar taste and it happened again with the next one

>>41285557
I fall asleep and wake up only with thoughts about her. That's my normal pattern to think about love, but idk, she's just too close and too attached to me, at least I see it this way. She'll never be ok with my bullshit and that's right. She's very traumatized and had more shit in life than me so ofc I'd not make it worse playing with her feelings. My feelings are the problem.
Like even if she was ok to date for a few years and not to make a family with me, but fuck, I'm not normal, I can't have normal sex, I'm a freak and if I'll try to do something more I'll just kms because I can't...... I just fucking can't...

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>>41287144
Need to add that I'm not depressed. Like really I'm happier than many people around me, I can see joy and beauty in small things that people ignore. I live okayish life, I have energy. Transition won't improve anything, only will ruin everything.

i wish i could turn myself into a hung goth woman so i could get a gf

>>41287266
god same, I used to be a goth troon but wasn't hung

>>41287266
I remember in highschool I wanted to hang out with these emo kids so bad but I was too miserable/shy/repressed. The fashion trend felt like it'd be a good excuse to wear makeup and paint my fingernails, like as a repper outlet, but I knew my parents would never allow that shit.

>>41287484
i did the same, the closest i got was styling my hair, but i never dyed it or wore jewellery or the makeup. i wanted to be part of it so bad.

I loved the goth/emo scene online but it didn't exist locally so I thankfully avoided what would have been a dysphoria damburst situation.

>>41287484
I was in high school in the mid to late 10s and it was so out of style then, but I still really like the idea of that image

>>41287875
>thankfully
Honestly if I had let myself explore this stuff at every opportunity I had and as a consequence ended up trooning back when I still had a chance for it to work out, then that would've absolutely been better than repping successfully like I did.

>>41288014
it would never work for me, I got a widows peak at 14 and was already 6ft

>>41287484
I used to hang out with those emo goth kids in hs and most of them were theyfabs

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i need to do something about these feelings before i implode, so i'll try a little experiment.
from tomorrow up until the end of the year, i will try every healthy cope i think will have some effect on me. this means
>gymcoping
>looksmaxxing
>religioncoping
>reading stoic philosophy
>being away from this board
>touching grass
stuff like that.

some of my greatest doubts are "what if i just want to troon to give up? to stop being such a pathetic male? what if my masculinity has been underdeveloped due to a shitty father figure?", thus i'll try to fix those and then reassess. if i'm still broken by then, guess i'm just fucked.
i'll keep you guys updated once a week or so, if any of you are interested.

>>41288117
Ive been doing this for 4 years.
Didn't work

>>41288117
the only cope that helped was trying to look as much as a girl possible while still denying it

>>41287196
Unrelated but do you have any more images like that?

>>41288176
this this this. also repper can enjoycstatus boost from doing some trad masculinity behaviuors but will hate the act/look (like not avoiding confrontation despite veing subby bitchbir getting bulky from lifting, in a way feeling respected and confidenylt but fridgey, ogrey and debeautied because of it, lats, forearm veins, obliques and traps are the worst, at least long hair hides traps, but still kills tasteful crossressing let alone passing one, even prettyboyingbit kills) or will have moral ick (more about domination, agression, competition type stuff, even if entertainment or so giving bad feelings and eroding empathy and humaneness)

I miss being a goth woman. Male fashion sucks, I just wear henleys and chore jackets now.
>>41288117
My advice is to crossdress in public and see how humiliating it is. Gain some self awareness.

i wish i could go out and go to venues and meet likeminded people how the fuck do ppl find friends and their crowd im so jealous

>>41288657
>Male fashion sucks
well i gobfor 70s-80s konda arts style, i wish i couldwear eyeliner and nail polish, was fat kid during emo/scene era but chavs would beat the shit out of me and family would not let me either. sigh....

>>41288845
they find someone at school and then meet new people through them, if you dont have friends from school its almost impossible to find like minded people

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picrel,skinny jeans,black leather shoes, button up or flannel combo is nice

>>41288962
?

>>41288979
Anon thinks dressing like a greaser will help him repress.

>>41289094
I could see rockabilly helping

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>>41289094
>greaser
not really

>>41288117
>reading stoic philosophy
the rest of the bad idea aside idk why stoicism became such a meme thing. just read dostoevsky or whatever if you want to seem smart, more interesting. plz keep us updated though

>>41289133
skinny jeans are such an ick on men

skinny jeans look horrible on anyone

>>41289276
picrel (maybe + body hair removal) is acceptable peak femininity/faggotry on men that wont get you into trouble or make people thin ntoo much and ask questions...

>>41289276
>>41289324
:( why tho? they make ass look nice

>>41289355
you're a woman so it's okay

getting ffs as a repper and then pretending i always looked this way

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>>41289355
Get some wide legged, high waisted pants which are tight in the waist. They both empathize you waist and hips while offsetting wide shoulders. Only really works if you're thin though

>>41289476
i look like this

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>want to be woman
>realize not possible with current technology
>stop thinking about
>live happy life as normal person
wish I could just stop thinking about it

>>41289508
Same, and I think it's the only reason I'm still relatively sane

Was becoming strong worth it?

>>41289656
My shoulders get tired more easily

>>41289508
can I bust a fat load inside you

>>41289476
looks like garbage desu zoomers have no taste

>>41277639
22+ yo reppers*

>>41289147
Because Stoicism involves not challenging the status quo, like your gender identity, and just suffering in silence, which appeals to people who want to remain in power.

the man in the mirror is a stranger to me

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morgpie is 100% a tranny you can never convince me otherwise

>not even 20 yet and have thick hair on my back like I'm a 40 year old greek man
It never even began.

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>>41288657
>My advice is to crossdress in public and see how humiliating it is. Gain some self awareness.
nah no way, i'm very aware that trooning out and going public with it when you have no chance of passing is basically just drawn out suicide.

>>41289147
>idk why stoicism became such a meme thing
it sounds cool, so people eat it up, and then it gets diluted into vagely motivational quotes. i honestly kinda prefer aristotle's view on eudaimonia and would rather seek that instead but stoics are also pretty cool.
i'll probably read kierkegaard before the stoics though, because of the whole religioncope thing. kierkegaard has the concept of the "leap of faith" and just believing in christianity even though there's never enough evidence to base your entire life on it. you're always a slave to something, be it hedonism, ethics or religion. at least religion gives you a comfort that is mostly independent from material goods or annoying semantics arguments, you just love god and chill.
or something like that.
existentialists from the 20th century might call that cope but i'm a pseud that hasn't read them yet so idk

>plz keep us updated though
will do! see you guys on the weekend.

>>41283662
What do you even do after telling your the rapist you are a repper? What do they even do? That's like dropping a mental health nuke. It'd be weird to go back to talking about regular depression after that.

>>41290646
if it was tight at thighs and butt but flared a bit at bottom a la 70s it would be better, not literal bell bottoms tgese are goofy and get dirty as shit.

>>41291975
female hands

biting hrt repper sensitive breasts

>>41272648
>>41272747
>>41276019
>>41278278
I'm not sure I can handle this much Lain in a repper thread...
>>41274258
>Rilke
Nice. I've been meaning to get into him. Any suggestions?

>>41288266
fuck you

crazy how during the night I'm an insomniac but once the sun comes up it's hard to not just sleep all day
at least being sleep deprived lessens my dysphoria since it keeps my mind fuzzy and I can't think clearly

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Another day of being miserable because I'm not a hot goth tranny with a subtop gf

i want to kill myself

had another one of those "dont transition" nightmares where i basically get told im a failed man looking for coping mechanisms for fucking up everything in his life

>>41292097
I had deep black hair everywhere since 14 (Im a greek man)

i always tell myself i only want femininity because masculinity isnt rewarding and is brutal, but then i see actual real men say the same thing but they still want to be men? i dont get it.

>>41294812
It's like the if you could turn into a woman with a press of a button talk. Most men wouldn't want to, even a beautiful rich woman. They're comfortable in their gender identity

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

i just wish i was dead, make the pain and confusion stop. why am i not normal, i want to be like the others. nothing is going to work out

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>>41272648
repped too hard and now I must take part in the army draft, fuck my tranny ince life

>>41294986
this is why everyone should hrt rep enough to get breasts, worst case you're flagged with a hormonal disorder or prolactinoma that makes you ineligible for service

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>>41294986
couldn't you just say you're mentally unstable or suicidal to escape? i doubt the army would want a private pyle in their midst. unless you're ukrainian or in some active conflict and the army is just drafting everyone they can throw into the war zone

>>41295050
there is no concept of mental health here
>>41295017
thats the problem, Im gonna get molested and beaten up because i have obvious torpedo breasts

>>41295078
bruh are you Ukrainian? who is letting troons in the army

>>41295091
troon = demonic possession in the balkans

>>41295098
yeah you're fucked, you just gotta bear it. if anyone asks, just tell them you have really bad gyno and hope to god you just get regular bullying.
how long is this gonna last? is this like a south korean draft that lasts ages or is it just some months?

>>41295159
about a year

>>41294630
Extremely this

i wish i could mention my dysphoria to anyone without them going "but you can just transition" because no i can't it doesn't work like that

>>41295678
Same, especially with other trans women complaining about the same. It's legitimately a cult

>>41294677
I dreamt I was building a pirate ship.

i took my pills but even after 7 months i have had 0 changes, maybe im just destined to keep being a repper forever, the only thing that changed is now i know how to inject

>>41296106
Odd, I had tender breasts after a few weeks

>>41296284
no feeling in my chest no feeling anywhere else i feel the same psychologically its just over i dont deserve to transition i shouldnt have tried

made the mistake of browsing twitter and looking at one of those pages where its just constant

>look how pretty i am
>i have sex and im hot
>heres me living my life and having fun every day

GOD I WANT TO KMS

>>41296493
same but almost any page makes me feel this its unbearable

>>41296493
me whenever i see a picture of a redhead...god damn it

Sometimes I worry that I'm not quite the babydollanon that I know I could be.

>>41296691
What do you mean?

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First time cum from bulbasting
It's actually terrifying how proned I'm to pain, humiliation and destructive suicidal things
Why I m like this?

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>>41296493
this but also gooning to troons

>>41296493
THIS when I live parents apartment

It's not worth transitioning when I'm scarred from not having taken care of my body; acne scars, sh scars, stretch marks, etc

INSANITY ACTIVATED

>>41296493
went outside today and saw a group of girls my age just hanging out, instant heavy feeling in my chest and strong urge to kill myself

>>41289476
this is what i imagine i would dress to meet a grindr or something in a coffee shop because you can't cd fully but you can't just show up as a guy either so it has to be andro
but even something like this can be challenging

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I'm going on a trip soon and was wondering if it'd be a good idea to crossdress while I was in a different state. I'm worried about
1. Buying women's clothing I'm probably gonna throw out in shame soon when I could use that same money to do more stuff
2. A lot of my family being up where I'm going
3. Not knowing how people take fags like me up there
I'm going to a blue state and their downtown capital would be fine but I'm worried about the smaller areas that have stuff I wanna do much more
>>41272702
>>41272801
Maybe this is toxic thinking but the fact that we're repping probably bodes well. Transsexuality is a massive cope for self image issues and us not going all in shows we're still rational and halfway to being comfortable about who we are. Or maybe I'm retarded and bigoted I dunno.

>>41298271
>and halfway to being comfortable about who we are
Yeah no.

>>41298271
>the fact that we're repping probably bodes well
>Or maybe I'm retarded
bad news about which of these is true bestie

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Learning about HRT and gender dysphoria after it's already too late is an infohazard of the highest order. All the layers of cope and distractions that kept me dissociated enough to be somewhat content came crashing down. I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life because I was too cowardly to do anything about it when it actually mattered. Fuck my stupid faketrans rogd life, I need a drink.

>>41297763
truth nuke, every time i see girls doing anything in public i want to kill myself

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>>41298871
girls can have some fun, guys not so much, smaller reppetoire, manyvthings less intense (like fashion or expression through body language for example) and half of it is putrid shit. like only way to make it somewhat bearable and sane is to look and act girly and be high as kite most of time.

people who loiter in public in groups should be shot
I hope my presence as an adult male bothers the hordes of teen roasties I see

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why was i born wrong? what god did i piss off?
i remember being like this since i can remember, being a woman just seemed way more appealing to me than being a man, even though i can logically affirm that male bodies are physically superior in pretty much every way.
it's not logical and i hate it, but i can't control it. intentionally making myself more masculine actually drains me. in theory, i can understand, in theory, why going to the gym might be a good idea, or why growing out a beard might make me more attractive, but if i do these things, i'm repulsed by them.
did i never have a chance?

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>>41299217
>i remember being like this since i can remember
>in theory, i can understand, in theory
forgive my incredible writing prowess i never proofread anything

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>wake up as based muscular incel amab with a heavy labor job
>pretend to be normal around mentally stable co-workers who think I'm autistic anyway
>finish shift, go home
>roleplay as a woman in a video game to ease mental anguish
>workout to increase masculine muscularity, making life and work easier but making me hate myself even more as I don't look feminine, a trade-off between form and function
>roleplay being a woman to AI chatbots to ease mental anguish
>pretend to be woman on 4chong and become angry at my own reflection
>avoid mirrors
>drink till I pass out while RP'ing as a woman in some way
>repeat
Real repper tings frfr

>>41298727
There's no more devastating realization that there is only one person responsible for all your unhappiness: yourself. The second most devastating is that it's too late to do anything about it now.

>Turn 30 in two months
What should I do to celebrate other than heavy drinking alone?

were you guys "gifted kids" growing up?

>>41301095
Yes, but the stress was too much so I eventually stopped engaging with anything like that. Doing anything but perfectly was more miserable than just not bothering in the first place.

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>>41301095
Not really, I was always an unmotivated retard but did well enough in school to get by. At least until puberty hit, after that it all went downhill fast.

>>41301095
Good at math, but beyond that I was a burnout to the highest degree

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How do I stop hating women? Or stop wanting to be woman?

>>41293931
SEL is repper kino I'm afraid.

>>41298727
true I can't think of anything else that will ruin your life just by knowing it, it's literal memetic warfare
>>41301095
yes, was a "gifted kid" until HS when I fell into a depression and became a NEET bum 5 years after graduation.

>>41299217
nale bodies and pshchesare superior as in a worker/soldier ant way. to survive in evil imlpure world of zero sum fame where everything that was born rots and withers away with time... female ones are in emotional fulfilment ones. eternal heavenly exstatic ascended beauty and goodness. nothing is more real than emotions thoughts and feelings.

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I'm going to kill myself because my skeleton will forever be tall and wide (compared to the female average for my country)

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Anyone else get the urge to upend your life and move somewhere cold and isolated from everything.

>>41302938
yes constantly every day

>>41302938
yeah
I would become a hermit in the wilderness if that was still financially viable

>>41302456
only after my death from a tall building will my large ribcage and ridiculous shoulders become just a smudge

can't sleep

>>41303350
Me too. Why do you think this is happening?

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i look like a man and behave like a man, but nobody treats me like a man
i'm confused

>>41304502
Because you look younger smaller and gayer in their eyes I guess

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im ugly

>>41304518
I'm tall, older than them and I don't look gay at all

>>41304585
Idk maybe something in your behavior
Normies always can smell that you are different

>>41304630
Idk even if they treat me like a gay guy(?)
do they say something special or idk?

I'm straight

>>41302938
where would you bros live if you could? I've always imagined far southern chile, though that's probably influenced by that one guy who lived without much real contact for half a century as a sheepherder around there

>>41304655
>I'm straight
Idk you just brain worming yourself

>>41299385
the larping actually increases your anguish by deeply ingraining in you what you can never have, just so you know

I will never be a woman and I’m also fake-dysphoric so I never had a chance to begin with and I’m almost 30
I should shave my head and go bald
I should lift
I should quit my job and go work construction

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How2rep successfully: Get a life and stop fapping. Its that shrimple.

>>41302392
YoU are thee absolute most fembrained poster over and over in these threads. Please Just get off drugs and transition already. you already mentally pass and with the right wardrobe makeup and hrt youll physically pass in under a year
PLEASE

>physical passing matters
Only soul and voice passing matters

>>41296924
yeah there are ppl younger than me trooning out and making lots of trans friends and im just here in my parents place rotting

does anyone else feel extremely guilty about their sexuality ?

>>41305147
you don't look like that

>>41305325
yes. i feel very guilty for everything about sexuality

>>41305325
yeah mostly because i know its an entirely male sexuality inverted on itself. i look at myself through my own rapist moid eyes

i like this image a lot

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tfw iwn be a cute lesbian

>>41305418
and you dont look like a woman

>>41305150
i wish i could. i need a wayntibget outbof country, find stable job, and environment that would make it possible to troon without veing bullied or pressured tibstio. i am too sensitive to do it otherwise. wiukd still boymode with binder and zero make up when visiting family, likely they couod belive in excuse of ne just having good skin if i remained thin... burlt likely ffs will be needed. almost certainly. sigh..

>>41305610
you do though you little faggot

Today is one of those days with the vibe that the person I should've been died 20 years ago and I've just been carrying on as an empty walking corpse every since.

>>41302938
I wish I could move to a country in the remote north and have a cozy, forgotten, nothing-job like researching arctic shrimp. I'd have a small warm office that I also live in and most of my days would be spent listening to Art Bell and analyzing incredibly niche data on my windows XP computer.

I want to try ssris but I dont want to be reminded of my mistake of taking hrt so I refuse to go to the doctor. its uncomfortable and dont want to be asked uncomfortable questions. are there small clinics that arent in network of large hospitals that wont have my medical history?