>>42213622
it's saturday morning here
last night i took 8g shrooms and danced for many hours it was very very very nice
no alcohol for 3.5 years now

>>42213622
weed pen for me nowadays
there were some couple month to a year stretches I'd force myself to be sober for whenever my drinking got too bad. probably need one of those soon

>>42213622
I don't do any drugs and only drink alcohol socially, so nothing at all. I've gone about a year without drinking before, and probably like six years at longest stretch without any serious (more than one or two beers) drinking. The normal gap is something like 1-3 months between drinking anything, though the end of the year tends to be packed with social events. Like I did take a shot for New Years.

currently in one of those phases where the dysphoria subsides for a little bit and gets replaced with extreme apathy to everything.
I just stared at the wall for a solid 45 minutes but now I'm forcing myself to get on my computer so I can at least not do nothing

i have never been and will never be a teenage girl

>>42213622
fucking a repper in the dark was the best thing that happened to me last year lol. godddd fuck i need it again but how

>>42215868
how
why
I don't like to imagine myself ever having sex in this body

>>42215868
full story

I must go back in time and show my mother the freak I become if she doesn't love me as a child.

>>42216176
my mom loved me as a child and I still ended up like this

>>42213622
I forgot to buy alcohol today before the store was closed
my fault for waking up at 5

why was i created just to feel empty

>>42213622
why do I have to take a leap of faith with transitioning, why doesn't the technology exist to just accurately simulate how you'd look if you trooned out. I have to take some shit and either permenantly looksminn myself or gamble on making it. I am so retarded for running various images of myself through various ai that I've prompted with simulate hrt. FUCK FUCK FUCK dude in some of them I look pretty, in others I look like I deserve to be chopped up and thrown in a dumpster. I don't even know what I actually look like. Because it just depends on the day/mood if my hair is right, the mirror, the lighting. Sometimes I look pretty sometimes I look like a fucking ogre. I hate myself I hate this. I hate having this cursed tranny mind, I hate having to either rep or troon. I hate this so fucking much. I wish I was born in some libshit family and trooned out before puberty this a fucking curse. I am so torn on just attempting to just keep androgyny pretty boy moding or trooning, because atleast when I have male features it's acceptable because I am pretty for a man, which is like good. But if you troon out then you become ugly for a woman. It's fucking stupid I hate all of this. And I am getting older and masculilnizing if I don't troon out now I'll NEVER have a chance. I HATE THIS FUCK BROS WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS FATE?!?!?!

BUT EVEN WORSE I NATURALLY LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TRANNY ANYWAYS BECAUSE I HAVE A SPLIT OF MASCULINE AND FEMININE FACIAL FEATURES I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING POONER WITH BEARD SHADOW. I in the least need to get my facial hair removed this year. Imagine creepfemhon michael jackson with a beard, or some kpop faggot with a beard, it just looks fucking uncanny. FML FML FML FUCKMYNIGGERCISPOONER TRANNY BRAINED LIFE FUCK.

My mind is so fucked up the other day I was in a discord server full of trannies and they posted a political commentary yt video and I looked at the thumbnail and I was like look at this ugly tranny in the thumbnail let's watch this video I looked at myself and thought oh I look like this ugly tranny, I turned the fucking audio on AND IT WAS A REAL WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.

In the best case I'll look like a cute twinkhon tranny (visibly trans). I Don't want to look visibly trans I am too afraid to be a tranny I am only repping because I am a bitch. I am afraid. Atleast I can play off oh yeah I just like metal music or look like some fucking surfer dude/ hippy archetype. FUCK FUCK FUCK I USED TO BE SO CUTE TOO WHEN I WAS 19 I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING HOW DID THE YEARS FLY BY?! HOW DID I REP FOR SO LONG WHY DID I EVEN FUCKING REP I AM ALMOST 30. I ALMOST trooned out at 27 I WOULD'VE DONE WAY BETTER THEN I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF

I actually feel so bad, it's actually eating me up, I know I'm not going to last if I don't change something, but I don't know what to do.

>>42217115
if its any consolation i trooned out at 24 and at 29 i feel like a castrated man pretending to be trans

more than ever i wish i actually wanted to be masculine, i could just be a normal masculine man, instead im a weird faggot obsessed with being feminine since i was a teenager despite having a huge shovel jaw and being 6 feet tall. i dont even want to be a woman, i want to be a femboy or a twink. vanity pwned me

I really need to talk to a therapist.

>>42217198
I feel that, what if I was ok with seeing myself in mirror, and not going I look like a disgusting ape.

>>42217198
what do we do does manmoding atleast help? What are we actually supposed to do?!

>>42217270
1.5 year hrt manmoder, it doesn't help

locked in my room listening to music until I gain the courage to stare at myself and shave, so I can atleast not feel subhuman. I hate being like this.

File: vlcsnap-2026-01-03-08h56m(...).png (522 KB, 853x480)

522 KB PNG

I shower everyday but I refuse to look down when I do it. I like to pretend my body simply doesn't exist.

i am a man with tits

>>42217370
8 years manmoding
It doesn't help

>>42213622
Should I inject my estrogen?

I blew 100 bucks on estrogen, and I am beginning to think it's a terrible idea to transition because I am 30, and I'll never be able to afford ffs. I think I'll just revert to my old plan and start using topical estriol on my face, and getting my facial hair removed/ stop my hair loss.... I'll never pass on HRT I'll just look like an androgynous dude which I already dude, so whatever.... I don't want to be infertile and grow retarded contits, atleast this way I can still sexually attract women, and my v shaped body is an asset. idk what I'll do when complete pretty boy twinkdeath hits me, maybe I just have to accept aging gracefully. I wasted so much of my life.

File: Screenshot 2026-01-03 at (...).png (374 KB, 626x352)

374 KB PNG

estrogen isn't gonna make anyone a pretty woman unless you take it when you are still a teenager. I have been psyopped by angle-frauders, and photoshoppers. I just wanted to be an attractive androgynous person and avoid twinkdeath. Looksmaxxers are objectively more correct about everything relating to aesthetics. I will just bog myself and descend. I want to ascend. Fuck this. Atleast I will stay pretty for a man, instead of ugly for a woman. now somebody have gay pretty man yaoi with me.

>>42217270
>>42217370
>>42217588

4 years manmoding. It helped. I malefailed so hard in the last 3 months of 2025 that I'm now slowly getting ready to girlmode. And finally leave this board too.
Admittedly, I voicetrained and did the work. Didn't expect it to work. But it did.

>>42218637
bullshit post your selfie don't hopefuel me like this I'll give you my discord handle if you want it to be private.

I coped because contrapoints was a late transitioner, but she honestly only made it because of ffs, she literally wouldn't even stream before she had ffs because she had to angle fraud to pass. It's just a sad truth, and due to injury I will never make enough money to afford ffs, so I should just continue to rep and antiagemaxx.

there's no way I can got for the combo of disabled and tranny in this life, having one of those be true is already hard enough, I hate my existence.

I am just going to castlevania character maxx, and then when I am old insane scrawny old man with long grey hair and beard maxx. Fuck how did I actually almost troon out again 3 years later and go right back to repping I am a retard. hrt literally doesn't do shit you can't mimic otherwise except growing booba.

>>42218651
>post your selfie
Why? I didn't say I'm cute. I look like a butch lesbian lol. 5/10 at best.
But voice, walk and height now lead to being read as female most of the time no matter how hard I boymode.
Now I'm saving up for ffs.
I'm also not on discord (and will never be). The way forward is to stay away from brainworms. And discord is brainworms central.

>>42218824
nigger if you can't even show me yourself your existence is built on a house of cards. I am not subjecting myself to that 24/7

>>42218833
>nigger if you can't even show me yourself your existence is built on a house of cards
or it's actively not because my existence isn't on social media.
do whatever you want. I got a big pack of clothes coming up on Monday and lots of work to do.

Happy New Year!

>>42218927
I can't be hopefueled by a manmoder that mailfailed as a 5/10 butch lesbian, also are you just concerned with being percieved as a woman?! I want to look like a hot woman. I'd rather be an attractive dude than ugly woman, I'm probably the one that is mental here feel free to ignore me.

>>42218970
>are you just concerned with being percieved as a woman?
Not even that. I was more than fine to permamanmode, desu.
I genuinely believed girlmoding was not in the cards at all for me.
I wanted the neurological effects of E. And I got them and was already happy, or at the very least content. One year in I suddenly wanted to work more, to socialize more to... everything. I finally started to function. So my neuroticism was already mostly gone.
It was a genuine surprise for me that soldiering on with the tedious (but also moderately fun) work of voicetraining and mannerism exercise just suddenly yielded results almost all at once.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the euphoria. But I remain realistic.

>I'd rather be an attractive dude than ugly woman
Yeah, if I have to choose, I'd rather be an ugly woman. But to me the choice was always easy. I was an ugly man too. Except that dude was a sad depressed incel too. This ugly girl has a boyfriend, smiles and has a functional life.

I've been put on to certain estrogen face creams that seem to get some of the good skin effects people get from trooning, and that's really all I wanted. Getting booba, and gaining a hybridizied femoid brain seemed like a recipe for disaster.

>>42219284
Do drop the name(s) of the creams, please.

does anyone else feel really masculine, and then feel really feminine sometimes, like a switch is flipped. I haven't figured a pattern for when the switch flips, but I feel like this.

File: giphy (1).gif (1.52 MB, 498x398)

1.52 MB GIF

just finished roleplaying as a pregnant anthro dog girl

File: 1729114843806109.png (204 KB, 640x599)

204 KB PNG

The repper urge to just give in and troon out while crying that you didn't troon out in your teens is hitting hard today.

>>42219381
Yes, this is why I never trooned, the feminine phase never lasts.

>>42219676
>the feminine phase never lasts
But it keeps on coming back stronger and more lasting every cycle.
After a decade, I had enough.
Being a hrtrepper ain't super fun, but it's better.

>>42219685
mine is still mild and stabilized a few years ago. Maybe I'm a fakerep and it's all in my head idk.

>>42219381
yeah. i've between alternating estrogen and testosterone injections for a couple months now
i'm stopping the test injections for good now though. i'm cool with ending up as a jacked twinkhon/twunkhon.

why do none of the former reppers want to show how they look now? is trooning that devastating?

>>42220751
Some of them have but posting your face on 4chan is always a risky act.

>>42221010
ai generating reppers kissing one another

test

why do i have to wait so long between posts on safari wtttfffff it takes ages to get a new captcha
>verifcation not required
>post
>no valid captcha
let me shit posttttttt

>>42221562
damn and your posts are so good too
big loss

File: wicked bubble dress.png (402 KB, 750x577)

402 KB PNG

>saw wicked for good today
FUCK i hate how much i relate to brock, feeling utterly trapped in a role I was never built for and never consented to but was forced into
And Glinda too when she realized she was being forced into the role of people-pleaser with no power to change anything (except she ultimately could while i am still cursed to suffer)
Why did it have to be like this?
>>42213622
Vodka cran for me today

>>42215425
does being a young fit male feel fulfilling or is it just what you think you're sposed to feel fulfilled from

Don’t want to be a guy, don’t want to be a girl, hate having a dick but I also don’t want anything else. What the fuck is happening.

>>42218759
>you can't mimic otherwise except growing booba
idk man..
idk about that

ive been wishing to look androgynous since i was a teenager and feeling impending doom about it, and i am now almost 30 and its only gotten worse and worse.

its crazy how bad life can be in just this passive way. i will never feel like myself and the world just goes on, there is this narcissism in me that says things have to turn around, there has to be a solution to this that gives the story a happy ending and things eventually work out, but there isnt.

>>42222215
Yes this this this so fucking much
I have the issue of actually legitimately being a hot guy and that gets attention that I don’t want to lose by giving into the androgyny

File: 1767388441902496.jpg (143 KB, 680x680)

143 KB JPG

I need to be held and comforted but still reaffirmed that I will never be a woman. i just wanna cry

>>42213622
A shitty IPA i bought and can't justify pouring out b/c alchol is expensive

Would it help me rep if I got my hair lasered off? I'm already a norwood 5 with a linebacker build so it's not like there is any hope for me anyway

>>42213622
>>42224457
Oh and longest sober is 6 months, if you ignore the first 19 years of my life

Should I get into alcohol or cigs? I'm only 19 but I could probably find it anyways

File: you are destorying my life.png (58 KB, 223x201)

58 KB PNG

>>42224524
Don't pick up either. Both give you ultra cancer at somepoint.

>>42224524
dodge nicotine tbhh its a severe bitch to quit later and you will want to quit

>>42213622
take your HRT, retards

>>42224524
neither but cigs are especially not worth
>>42224653
no <3

im repping hard but i cant think about that as i need to get a job before i become a 30 year old neet

i have such a love hate relationship with my long hair. its nice to have a feminine feature, but with my moid face i just look like a greasy incel who likes metal music

>>42225603
>greasy incel who likes metal music
So it begins :D

t. >>42222223

P.S.: I'm only half joking.

ugh

>>42225603
my hair lacks moisture and is thick so I have a disheveled cave man look

>>42225603
Its either long hair or punishment buzzcut for existing

>>42227453
i get why you'd do this but having a normal male haircut that looks nice makes me feel a bit better about myself
if you're going to make repping stick have to at least try to have positive male features. helps look less bald too, i feel like the long hair really accentuated the bad hairline

>>42219081
>>42218637
thats nice what does girl mode mean you're getting a name change etc
do you feel with your new neurology you could face anything do you have a large support group

>>42221238
so where is it

>>42222215
that's not narcissism

>>42217096
>look like pooner with a beard shadow
why aren't you trooning then? face matters most
>>42217102
what's the video?

>>42217102
bonepilled, this happens to me irl i'll be talking to a foid and be like damn this poor lady has the longest philtrum

>>42224524
was an alcoholic and smoker since about 17 - it's not worth it. Just smoke weed, it helped me rep.
I did troon after doing acid though
>>42220751
posting face is a horrible idea. I did it once before the whole ai thing as a bdd passer trying to say that a lot of reppers have a chance - and people weren't happy. One once popular tripfag did decide to troon based on my posts though and thanked me, so I'm glad
>>42219081
congrats on getting a bf. If you have bottom dysphoria - how are you dealing with sex?
>>42218759
>hrt literally doesn't do shit you can't mimic
facial fat and smooth skin doesn't last long when you're on T. Drag queens that look passable are rare and have to do shit tons of contouring
>>42218583
if you're comfortable attracting women as a man and having sex using your dick - what are you even repping?

>>42218583
Yeah. I think it's a complete waste for me and I'll never be able to transition or be happy but being on hrt means I'm "happier" and can at least experience an emotional range beyond dead inside

i banged my head on the wall but fortunately my massive warrior skull browbone helped reduce the damage

twinkish reppers should check out beach photos of Kaia Gerber (Cindy Crawford's daughter).
80s-90s thinness and lack of hips is back, baby

>>42230874
i already watch/emulate kpop not sure if im twinkish

>>42230529
my dad does this and now slurs his speech to the point where he sounds drunk all the time and cannot walk correctly despite not being that old
plz pick any other kind of self harm anon

My trust for others is gone.

>>42221900
At best it proves that people will always hate those who are femme and see trans people as inherently evil.

>>42233418
They paint targets on the backs of other women saying they should be fucking raped all because they're fucking jealous. They act like it's somehow morally justified because this person is more popular or conformist or what the fuck ever BUT HOW THE FUCK DOES IT APPLY WHEN WOMEN DO IT TO FUCKING EFFEMINATE GAY MEN AND TRANSWOMEN? HOW?

Women still fucking mark efffeminate gay men as targets of abuse, there's still the culturally fucking accepted idea that effeminate gay men must be victimized for being feminine.

These people, these fucking women are such fucking liars.

>>42228927
it is, its main character syndrome, like one story presented to me is that im 'trans' and that im going through this amazing journey from horribly sad little boy to a happy woman, the idea of the catharsis of the transformation saving and vindicating me from all my flaws, its just running away from whats real. im not that person and i know it, and its ok to just be a flawed person who is going to struggle and not really get anywhere or be that remarkable in any way. and slowly feel yourself disappearing as you age, its ok.

Anyone here been in prison? I feel like it might be good for me.

>>42233616
>it might be good for me
that cannot be true

>>42233655
>lack of freedom
>reinforced masculine role
>direct social contact
It sounds good as long as I don't get raped in there

>>42233761
just get a job if those are things you need ffs

>>42233838
>just get a job

i spit on normies like you

The power of autogynephilic euphoria is not to be toyed with. I'm scarred for life from this shit, my "dysphoria" is getting really bad. Trooning out it worthless

>>42233857
have fun in prison babe <3

>>42233838
I already have one.
What jobs are not completely feminized nowadays besides like absolute worst manual labour?
I considered working in sanitation but I couldn't get in.

>>42233857
you sound cool i'd do drugs with you and come up with a fun plan together that'd likely end up with us in prison

>>42233838
I wish I could get a job to afford ffs

I forced myself to watch the prager U doc on detransitioners. I think a more pratical way of repressing would be avoiding thinking about gender and trans people in general.

>>42233537
>its just running away from whats real
what's real is that most people on planet earth don't have this thing where they feel extremely uncomfortable in their body and can't stop irrationally wishing to be the opposite sex. Meanwhile, you do seem to have that thing and it's unrealistic to expect yourself to function the same as a cis person would.

Also, don't forget that most people have pipe dreams, they're not all narcissists
>>42234560
>not thinking about a fundamental part of myself would be a more practical way to exist
good luck with that

>>42234911
i dont really wish to be the opposite sex though, i wish to not be me, or to look different, but i cant really imagine what it would be like to be the opposite sex and in any case there is this feeling that that is not 'me'. there is only the repulsion from myself.

its like what they say about suicide, its not that people who kill themselves really want to die, its that they really dont want to live. i just really dont want to be me and this is the solution i keep coming back to to escape myself.

>>42234958
>i dont really wish to be the opposite sex though
>I wish to not be me
why are you on the LGBT board in a thread about repressing trannyism then?

>>42235009
because im an effeminate beta moid and like i said, ive latched onto being trans for years as a solution even though i doubt my ability to really be happy with that

>>42233115
no i didn't do it on purpose i just wasn't paying attention in the bathroom
i'm not going to do incel bonesmashing i don't want my brow to be bigger

>>42233115
I've tried the head-hitting, burning (bad option, doing it with a cigarette left a bad scar) and cutting but I'm too much of a pussy now to cut. What's the best option? I've tried giving myself cramps but it doesn't linger enough, which was why burning or cutting was satisfying. I guess ideally something that does minimal damage would be best, I used to knock my knuckles together for the purpose but it didn't linger enough either.

>>42233886
What triggered your agp euphoria? Have you done nofap? I think it gets better if you avoid sexually charged scenarios.

File: gosling.jpg (46 KB, 735x733)

46 KB JPG

>play cute vn to feel better and escape reality
>see characters having fun
>realize i wasted my teenage years staying inside and being a total sperg
>get sad

not only do i have to deal with the tranny demon haunting me with possibilities, i also made the life i do have 10x times more painful for myself. it's crazy how easily you can ruin your life by doing nothing.

cumrags

Does anyone else think they might've gotten sucked down this rabbit hole because being trans, in their mind, would be a "one more thing"-style mystery box? Perhaps that by having this big secret you yourself aren't even aware of and need to slowly uncover, you can recontextualize a lifetime of trauma, inaction, and mental illness. You can subconsciously tell yourself your real life hasn't started yet and you're a 27 year old burnout because you don't have boobs. And then the mythos grows more and more in your mind until you start to believe your own lies.

>>42237188
No, all this shit started early enough in my development that I know it's deeply rooted and not trend-chasing. It's not the source of all of my problems, but it has absolutely contributed.

>>42237188
yeah, and i dont agree with >>42237225

this started for me when i was like 11, it doesnt make it any less fake. in my life ive met agps who were fully masculine men who transitioned fully into women and are happy, ive met HSTS who were little effeminate gayboys who transitioned and are happy. Im the third type where im simply a loser who failed at being a boy. Uncomfortable being masculine my entire life, finding myself ugly. I could never have had a repper beard but I could also never act convincingly feminine, everything feels like an act to me. I was just a loser nerd boy who became a shut in and cracked at age 25 hoping that being trans would be a solution to this emptiness. But for both the AGP and the HSTS the desire is actually genuine and they can become women happily. But for me it comes from a place of pure negativity towards myself primarily and so no matter what I try to change, I always just come back to this feeling that im doing this to escape what I am, a total nothing.

>>42228886
>thats nice what does girl mode mean you're getting a name change etc
Name and ID change for sure.
I don't have much of a choice. Every time I have to show ID (I live in Europe) it comes with long explanations.
Clothes are coming up today (that's why I'm up so early in the morning) so I hope I find something comfortable to wear and start going out as a woman.

>do you feel with your new neurology you could face anything
IDK. Probably not anything. I don't think anyone can really face anything.
But I am pretty confident and functional.

>do you have a large support group
No. A couple of supporting friends (cis str8) but that's it.
I'll swim. It is what it is. Ultimately this is me. Can't stay hidden forever.

>>42237321
>But for me it comes from a place of pure negativity towards myself

Sounds like incel nona desu >>42222223

being a non-binary agp is hell

i saw someone describe being toxic in league of legends as taking joy that you're ruining your own time rather than letting someone else win and make you feel bad. cool that i've set up my entire life around that
anyway getting stoned is no longer fixing things. feels bad
>>42237417
nice creative writing piece!

>>42237188
nah cause i've always been gay af but (unsuccessfully) masked my entire life
and i've always really enjoyed the creative outlet of messing around with makeup and the way i can make my face look
and womens clothes suit my figure
it quickly became pretty obvious for me that i'd prefer to just exist this way. does any of that hit for you?
are you just reading tranny internet thoughts or are you trying to figure shit out irl?

File: 1767572764524894.jpg (80 KB, 533x737)

80 KB JPG

ive been taking hrt for 3 years and i look like this

do NOT transition

>>42237821
I think something just went wrong while reading about tranny shit online.I've talked to therapists about it IRl but ultimately my conflict is less dysphoria and transition and more uncertainty and neurosis. It's most likely just an aggressive brainworm (I've been here since 2018).

File: 1743321400379282.jpg (74 KB, 1170x1536)

74 KB JPG

I'm pretty sure that repping is unironically giving me brain damage. I feel like I've experienced a significant amount of cognitive decline over the past couple years to a point where I feel genuinely retarded and slow now compared to how I used to be. Learning new things, reading/writing, or even speaking clearly is noticeably more difficult than it used to be. I usually only get drunk like once a week so I don't think alcohol alone could account for this.
It's not like I was planning on doing anything with this life anyway, but it's still a little scary.

>>42239261
yeah cause repping takes effort whether you're consciously doing it or not
i'd rather put that effort into myself t. former repper i don't know why i still check in here

File: melt.jpg (236 KB, 2209x1382)

236 KB JPG

>cry
>hit myself in the head for having these thoughts
>curl up into a ball
>go on about my day
I just have to keep doing this for another 50 years and then everything will be okay. Can't everyone just forget I exist so I can kill myself if need be?

I drank alcohol and now I'm happy : )))

i need to stop this and leave this place and just find a hobby
please stop this from happening to me

File: 1735569522271546.png (637 KB, 885x813)

637 KB PNG

I only really want to be a girl when I'm feeling lonely.

>>42239725
i relate i dont really know how much of a repper i consider myself to be but there is a general confusion inside of me and there is a part of me that wishes to be a girl because i could have easier access to attention from people and just be a generally more desirable person at a default baseline but it all feels rooted in some vague mysoginistic viewpoint that doesnt make me feel good about it

the repper urge to cross dress and whore myself on the apps
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

cried because i thought about how alone ive been my entire life

>>42239343
>t. former repper
As of today I'm also a former repper.
I guess I could still call myself hrtrepper for a year or two, no?

>>42239996
hrtrepping isn't bound by time
t.8 years hrt repper

>>42240016
I'm okay even with forever hrtrepping desu
I do hope I figure stuff out faster though, either that this is for me or not. Ideally in 2035 i'm either a woman or have stopped this whole thing altogether by having learned on my person that it isn't for me.

File: vlcsnap-2026-01-05-06h53m(...).png (176 KB, 704x382)

176 KB PNG

I'd be fine with being alone my entire life it meant being a girl.

>>42237817
>nice creative writing piece!
idk senpai.
I know someone like that OP, except he's now a fag/hrtfemboy (ig?)
I wish I could pull something like that.

dont wnna be a woman just dont wnna be a man innit

>>42233537
maybe you should actually understand words before using them self preservation is not main character syndrome
>away from whats real
look at mind body problem
it's okay to try and fail and reassess but it's not okay to give up you must always strive

>>42237188
it's not really valuable enough for that to a normal person this process should seem like pure destruction

>>42239261
just shrink your life that way you can both rep and do some other things that you want

>>42240454
how strange it is to be anything at all.

>>42240069
>I'd be fine with being alone my entire life it meant being a girl.
i'm a pretty good looking passer, but I've only had one boyfriend in my life (i'm 30) due to living in a 3rd world shithole and not wanting to date reppers or people who fetishize my genitals.
i can confirm it's a lonely life, but it's much better than what I had when I repped

>>42242091
don't give me hope
nta btw

fixated on crans-montana the last few days. those poor babies. makes me feel bad for doomerism

i know my dysphoria is memed because i also wish i could sing. singing dysphoria isn’t real but i yearn after something i can never have just like wanting to be a woman.

>>42242355
You can still be a singer. Ive thrown my whole self into it and it helped me finally grow self love. Even if my voice is deep and raspy

>>42242185
I'm pretty open about my life being ok mostly due to being pretty and getting both female and pretty privilege.
I have no idea what it'd be like if I were passing but homely
>>42242355
>i know my dysphoria is memed because i also wish i could sing
feeling like shit due to not being able to sing and sound like a woman since puberty is pretty widespread among trans women, I've heard it from multiple trannies who had good male singing voices


what the fuck is wrong with the new captcha system? it takes me like 5 tries to make a post

>>42240069
thats what i said dawg but then other trannies ended up being awesome and people i can connect with honestly/unguardedly
surprise the absence of that my whole life was part of my depression
the shock of this reward for doing the most reviled thing i could imagine doing with my life is ice cold even now like 5 yrs later

I think I'm developing a BBC fetish. All I can think about is getting fucked by hung black men.

>>42242462
you really can't like the ability to sing is passed down from parents, it's something ppl just have or don't. like you could maybe train to be not so bad at singing but you really wouldn't be able to actually sing. kind of applicable to a lot of transing too tbqh

>>42242355
I remember one of the first things about my body that gave me gender dysphoria was my voice starting to deepen. I loved singing and liked my voice and then testosterone had to go fucking ruin it and make it ugly, I was so sad and ashamed of it back then. There might not be 'singing dysphoria' but feeling dysphoric over your voice dropping feels like a perfectly normal part of regular GD to me.

>>42242728
Natural talent is one thing, but anyone can learn to sing. If you can raise your voice or do impressions you could learn to sing in one years time.

>>42240069
I'm already facing that as a man, so yes, I 100% agree. I'd like to have been born female for the betterment of myself, not for some hypothetical advantage in dating.

>>42242652
nta but i never really fit in with other troons either
it's depressing to see my only trans friend get along so well with them and completely mesh into their social circles

i just masturbated to my own witch hunting fantasy
>people perceive you as cursed
>some report to others that you have a subtle fem streak
>they collectively decide it must be ominous witch possession
>bunch of them take you in confidence for months build trust with you
>eventually make you spill your agp tendencies and make you crossdress
>they flip out raise hell saying the witch is out forcefully bind you and parade you outside
>tie you down and a giant phallic knife is plunged through your chest in an act of ritual sacrifice
>you're left to bleed to death
> village experiences good luck after that

>>42243510
are you making frens with reddity troons or 4chinny ones
>>42243641
huh fascinating

>>42244076
i'm not really trying to meet people online, i tried with 4chan ones but it never really works out
i know my trans friend irl from tech which also has a lot of trannies, just inaccessible to me is all

>>42244446
im sorry anon, i'd like it if you found your ppl

>>42243641
>>42244076
Persecution fantasies are pretty common for a repper, either out of an ingrained/exaggerated fear of what'll happen if you're found out, or as part of a martyr complex to justify why you're repping. Feeling like you're constantly hiding and being afraid of opening up tends to do this to you.

>>42244603
i get it i think
i decided before i came out to my parents that they 'deserved to see me say it to their face'
for whatever moidcoded reason i had at the time
the whole month leading up to coming out i had nightmares of my dad beating me t o d e a t h
spoogie

File: DSC09772_5d958700-3aaa-45(...).jpg (328 KB, 2652x3976)

328 KB JPG

born to be a clowngirl forced to be a jesterman

i daydream about killing myself all day long this is normal and healthy for my brain

Do you guys also dream about being being actually trans but never being able to take hrt because you will immediately die if you take estrogen?

File: 1752467964396873.png (118 KB, 536x1052)

118 KB PNG

>>42246547
nope

>>42246547
that sounds really stressful i'm sorry
i mostly forget my dreams, the only recent one i can really remember i was just a normal woman getting married which was nice

i fucked up my weekly injection yesterday morning because of nerves so decided to put it off for a day and then had a huge breakdown last night because i took photos of myself and i looked like an ugly disgusting freak in them and i still have test vials so i injected test last night instead i don't know why and now i'm fucking everything up again and i don't know what the fuck i'm doing or what the fuck is wrong with me i've isolated myself for 3 years now i need to get out of here i wish i had someone to talk to

>>42246731
why are you in repgen if you're transitioning

File: ihfhe.jpg (130 KB, 514x514)

130 KB JPG

Another day of everyone treating me like a male, and giving me male societal and social standards and hating every second of it

>>42242711
This is legitimately disgusting and you should really try and gaslight yourself out of that

>Men That Want to Pretend to Be Women, But they're Pretending to Not Want to Pretend Gen
Schizo board

>>42246731
it'll be okay nona. did you get to your weekly injection eventually?
wish i had a suggestion on finding people to talk to but am antisocial