I ran out of stuff to hate trannies with, but I can't quit this board as I am addicted to the pinkpilling LARPsUnfortunately, browsing the tttt catalogue for a good pinkpill LARP exposes me to threads made by happy trannies enjoying life and their new bodies, which constantly reminds me that twink death is looming and that HRT is gonna give me diminishing results the more I waitI hate that the only way out of my suffering is to be a body modding hedonist, but I don't have the strength to go partake in another masculine activity (repcope) as my AGP is literally crippling me, and sucking out my will to do anything, so the only energy I can muster is to hate the tranny essence in me to stay sane
>>42308430>is to be a body modding hedonistSybau and get transition
>>42308430you are a self hating tranny focus on that
>>42308441>>42308446Please give me one more repcope, i promise I will find a cis woman to settle down and live vicariously through herI will love her for her body, and her body only, but surely that is true love right?And once I do I will be happy for lifePlease let me avert the fate of becoming a tranny, I don't want to be seen as a Frankenstein's monster in public
In fact if you could give me dating advice on how to date cis women, and work my way towards marriage I would be really grateful
to the average chud raider reading this thread, this is your fate
>>42308525don't point at me and laugh dumb trannyYou lost to gd, and the fact you transitioned into marginalised laughing stock just cements how much of a loser you areI am about to lose but at least I am self aware, and am still courageously holding onto my dignity
You know what I found another reason to hate you tranniesYou are cowards, every last one of you, you gave into your paraphilias and went down without a fight
>>42308492take your pills alice
>>42308492>>42308522I'm pretty sure my dad is a repper and he ended up severely abusing me and my mom to the point of totally decimating me for life mentally. My ocd went from occasional symptoms and mild to disabling now, beginning around a decade ago after the abuse escalated severely. Mine is bad enough where I still do basic tasks but it feels like I'm working in a fucking coal mine to do anything. I'm able to hide some of it on the outside but it's 99% of the content in my mind and actions on a day to day basis. It's maybe as bad as the ones who are in documentaries but more internal than physically visible (when I'm around others at least, and even then i can't control it completely.) I also used to be a repper without even realizing i was a repper and it messed up my relationship with my ex and caused a lot of issues for both of us. one big thing is it actually made me hate myself even more because i just thought of myself as a failure as a man and didn't realize i am still trans. so relstionship coping might make things worse.
>>42308591Fine. I am losing my mind right now, but once I feel better I am getting off them and I am gonna make you trannies miserable for making it so hard to repress at this day and age
>>42308604Oh, and I've also had shaky hands since I was 13, around when the trauma escalated : ) My therapist said she's had other patients who also have uncontrollable trembling and a background of trauma and that there's a medication for it. Imagine damaging someone so badly that their fucking body is literally messing itself up for over a decade
>>42308616u will be happier
>>42308650she's right
>>42308604It hurts it really does hurt, my hopes and dreams have all been dashed off because of this weird self imposed mental blockAnd I really shouldn't have fed my AGP when I was a kid, now I regularly curl up and squirm every time I see my body
>>42308658Anon it's ok i used to be so embarrassed and ashamed whenever my mom brought up that i used to be trans but I'm happy now and kinda think it's cute to see it in you. We are a natural thing that exists and can support each other
>>42308681You are a tranny?
>>42308658>>42308681Also I did my first e injection 2 days ago and within a few hours / a day I felt so much naturally calmer and more peaceful. I really feel happy.
>>42308694Ya. But I only just started e and have been presenting as a femboy for a while. I got compliments when I wore makeup in public but I couldn't handle the stares so I started making it less visible and avoiding going in public where I can :(
>>42308699Sorry please give me some time to adjust myself I gotta go scream and cry for a bit to feel a bit better
>>42308724Watch this. You will feel better https://youtube.com/watch?v=stNuhu45XlE&si=O9e_KwiFY27sfGsp
>>42308658Ok I'm gonna be honest with you anon, and this is coming from me >>42308483 who has been trans since I was 12 and then repressed a lot. I honestly think some of us are possessed by spirits. I cannot help certain shit. And I have felt something influencing me. But I don't necessarily think being trans is an inherently bad thing, as long as it doesnt cause you to end up being exploited in sex work or addicted to drugs or destabilizes your life in some way. There are lots of trans women who live normal lives. I think I am a bit more wildly inclined and probably a lot of it is because of being overexposed to sexuality through porn and hentai since I was 12 and heavily using sexuality to cope during the most traumatic times of my life. I 100% believe there are unseen spiritual beings affecting me in some way. I can't help but find stuff like >>42308845 hot. A lot of this for me is my nature like in the first post I linked explaining my timeline of realizing I'm trans, but I do believe there is a spiritual / supernatural aspect at play. The problem is that is used a lot by transphobic people to (literally) demonize trannies. But it's not necessarily a bad thing to be trans, and knowing how to be reasonable in your behavior and how you make yourself visible to others is important. I am not saying all trans women are hypersexual or inclined to be sex workers. I am just saying that in my opinion that type of nature has always been a thing, and I think I may be like that. I honestly can't really help it. Whether it's from trauma and maybe increased by supernatural influence, I'm not really sure. I don't know why I wanted to say all of this, but I did
>>42308989I quit smut a while ago and now I don't have an avenue to self insert + I am not in a fugue state of craving more smut to scratch the self-insert itchMy gd ballooned and is literally eating me as I can no longer distract myself from my male body and am hyper aware of my fucked body proportionsAs for the spiritual aspect I think you are cooking something what is your theory for trans spirits?
>>42308658>And I really shouldn't have fed my AGP when I was a kid, now I regularly curl up and squirm every time I see my bodyanon please stop being a retard and self-abusing. I have AGP, pretty severe during certain episodes. But when I see my body, I'm perfectly OK with it. The symptoms you have suggest gender dysphoria.
>>42309134Wait you aren't a tranny are you If you are, then it is gg for me
>>42309052>My gd ballooned and is literally eating me as I can no longer distract myself from my male body and am hyper aware of my fucked body proportions Me too, but to be fair a lot of it is also because my nature is really not compatible with being overtly male, at most maybe a feminine bottom gay male. >As for the spiritual aspect I think you are cooking something what is your theory for trans spirits? The visual novel Umineko (https://youtube.com/watch?v=OpHcE-Oxzg0&si=LBaBanZBg7j6xOjU) poses the theory that our level of reality is like a "gameboard" controlled by higher beings. I believe this. As for my theory I just heard in passing that some people believe trans women are possessed by female spirits, though personally I still do believe in past lives so I also believe that it's possible to be influenced by your past life. I always liked Asian things and since I was a little kid my Mom taught me macrobiotics (traditional Japanese & East Asian diet and medicine). When I had stomach issues she would give me umeboshi paste (it worked). My birth name (uncommon in the west) also happens to be a Korean girls' name apparently. My mom had a dream where she saw this island in detail and she incidentally saw something and found out that an island with the same characteristics as the one she saw in the dream exists in Korea. When I was 10 in 2013 I somehow found out about sword art online (when it was new) despite not using any social media except maybe youtube for music and gaming videos and watched it on a pirate streaming site. After that I wanted to straighten my hair and tried to learn Japanese on my own, I learned some of their alphabet but stopped eventually. I also believe that lots of spiritual beings observe us and our lives. I think consuming / digesting certain types of content exposes you more to certain types of beings and experiences. (1/2)
>>42309173I am not, as I do not experience GD. You do, and are. Don't be low IQ by repping
>>42309173The person you replied to wasn't me I'm >>42308604>>42308681>>42308715>>42308742>>42308989etc
>>42309244(2/2)>I think consuming / digesting certain types of content exposes you more to certain types of beings and experiences.I think this is why Japanese people love fancy things from Western culture so much. Go through this page (https://pin.it/5nb1zBhyF) and you'll see what I mean. They dont know everything good and bad about the west in detail, just like us with them. So what they naturally focus on is what they "extract" from their exposure to Western culture, and in their case it seems to be naturally having elegant taste, so they like all the "fancy" stuff from Western culture, like classical music, chocolates, antique style furniture and Western-style architecture. They also seem to love Western-style fantasy like the AMV I linked you. So I think when you focus on a certain thing, reality attracts more of that thing to you.I mentioned this cause around 3 years ago my life started getting really unstable and I started intuitively feminizing my body again. Around the same time I would constantly see pics of alternative/goth looking East Asian models on ig (when I used to use it) and I would like the posts with the intention of basically worshipping them, lol. Around the same time I would see female beings who looked like that appearing to me in my dreams.I actually had a dream where I had a dream where this old stalker friend of mine was about to gangrape me with a group of other people, and a female spirit saved me. It was really interesting.
>>42309244>>42309457Sorry to say this, but you aren't like a high functioning schizo / of east Asian origin are you? This is an ungodly amount of supernatural belief
Like I am kind of scared now
>>42309647No, but I grew up in a Hindu cult and then started believing in some new agey stuff (like angel numbers, its not uncommon among gen zs, even a soundcloud rapper i like believes in it https://youtu.be/4Ml4r-KikqQ?si=HHLXf8gMku3hZj-j), so thats why I'm able to believe in so much supernatural stuff. Being a weeb / Koreaboo helps a lot too. I'm half black half balkan but I look latino because of my skin tone and hair. I look like picrel but brown and with black hair LOL
>>42309739Sorry but I am now really spooked
>>42309759What can I say. I guess I wanted to warn you about the tranny path because I can see some of the bad influence I'm experiencing and it seems plausible that there really could be a spiritual influence or factor at play. You should read Umineko. It talks about the occult, it's really interesting. I'm still at the beginning but it's really good
>>42309739I think you need Jesus ngl
>>42309806I dont like Abrahamic religions or dharmic religions. I have a lot of problems with religion in general because I hate that evil and suffering exist.
>>42309786Ok I need to breathe for a bit cuz I cannot believe and comprehend half the stuff I am reading hereIt is like the Insight from Bloodborne
>>42309851Wait so you are like an atheist? Or just agnostic
>>42309860That's fair I'm mainly interested in this stuff because I've had a difficult life You should read Umineko (picrel) https://youtube.com/watch?v=OpHcE-Oxzg0&si=U335Dc53CvFZ1x4f (No I'm not avatarfagging as Beatrice, I like Battler more)
>>42309880Just agnostic. I dont believe in God anymore (because of how Buddhism influenced me, but I despise Buddhism now because its nihilistic and claims permanent heavens dont exist and erasing your own existence is the only way to end suffering) but I believe in gods. My belief is that gods are a type of being and that there are many of them, and they control our world / level of reality / our experience of reality as humans and they help us.
>>42309941My posts are making me realize I might just be a fem gay boy and not trans
>>42310094That is okI am gonna sort myself out and ruminate over the fact that all of us here are on some level, a bit kooky due to the beliefs we hold
>>42310259I read someone say "we are the sum of our experiences" The manga "Out" talks about it a bit in multiple parts
>>42310329Huh will give that a readIf we are a sum of our experiences that means that gd might be curable
>>42310384Maybe Everyone's reasons are different The reason I didnt wanna transition was (aside from my own personal supernatural issues related to it) that I was really scared of destabilizing my life / family (more like housing :D) situation. I had a dream around last year that I was living with a bunch of other trannies as well so I'm fucking terrified that means this is gonna cause me to be separated from my mom and that it wouldnt be a stable or peaceful change. But if I can genuinely pass then I 100% want to transition and live as a girl. I feel numb to it now because my appearance is still masculine so I dont even "feel" like a girl, but I hate being male. So my reason for not wanting to transition is basically the fear of the potential turbulent change in my living / family circumstances. Picrel is also from "Out"
>>42310748I mean who doesn't want to troon out if they were told by other trannies they had passing potentialWait.
>>42310817since you seem to be asking me, my opinion is that if you ARE able to transition without it destabilizing your life, such as becoming homeless because of non-accepting parents, and if your parents happen to be supportive of it (i am NOT suggesting that you come out, you shouldn't even disclose that you're trans to people post-transition for your own safety), i think that it would definitely be worth at least trying, and seeing how you feel about it progressively as you are transitioning. but that is only for people who happen to be lucky enough to have supportive parents and are even aware if their parents are supportive of it or not. if it's gonna destabilize your life and get you kicked out by your parents, don't do it unless you really have specific things where you genuinely can't function as a male, such as not being able to take on the role of the "leader" or "provider" emotionally in a male x female relationship. and if it makes you genuinely uncomfortable with yourself to be living as a male, and you think your heart would be truly fulfilled to live as a woman, then it is worth CONSIDERING, but still not deciding with full certainty right away. i honestly have been at that "considering" stage repeatedly in the past year and it keeps coming back, and i don't want to wait anymore and regret never having tried it when i become older, especially if i end up still feeling the same way. i read a thread about this here today, it was something about "john 50". that's my advice.
>>42308430They won't stand in a circle around me and blast my face with girlcum while rubbing my cis dicklet (its actually decently sized but shhh) with their feet
>>42310817>>42310960to continue, i honestly think this shit is gonna destabilize my life, especially since i already had a dream i was living with other trannies. this is my less-than-professional "advice" based on my own decision making and reasoning and my own specific circumstances. I plan to keep taking the estrogen because I can't stand the masculinity of my appearance, and it'll only get worse as I get older, and I'll eventually stop being able to be "pretty" with age, because only women can be pretty in old age. I personally believed I would end up transitioning when I'm older and beginning to age anyway if I didn't decide to take the risk and do it now. I think I would feel regret and sadness when doing it later though, for not doing it sooner. I've had enough of a fucked up life anyway. I want to make myself happy. I'm sad that it may cost me my stability, but I cannot do anything about that. At the end of the day no one can make decisions for you but you. I think this is what higher beings want us to know as well. Only we can control the decisions we make, as unfair as it is sometimes.
>>42310960>>42311102also, i don't know how to introduce this subject delicately, but it seems like a large amount of trans women end up doing sex work at some point, which is not a good situation to be in. the risk is worse if you end up in a difficult living situation because of transitioning. i also heard that in older times in India, hijras (trans women) always lived out of society, and someone else said they often were in weird sex cults. i think one of the only ways they were able to suppirt themselves back then was by performing dances in ceremonies where women in higher classes couldnt perform publicly for others because it would affect their reputation. and i heard from a lot of people here that its very hard to get a job because people dont want to hire you if you're a tranny, unless it's maybe some tech job with a fancy degree. if you can't pass and stealth, especially if you get kicked out or something, you are a lot more likely to have a really hard life. it's just important to mention these risks. it's really not fair we have to suffer so much just for being ourselves. cis people do not understand what it feels like to have gender dysphoria. they also are even more malicious towards trannies because now there is a public obsession with trannies and the us is full of power abusers and sadists and generally malicious people in political positions and law enforcement now seemingly more than before. sigh
>>42310960Hmmm ok I think I will need some time to think about it thanks anon
>>42311476Nigga i know you lying you got so scared by what i said you made another thread *crying emoji* >>42310355
>>42311602I did cryCry about how insane I am before making that post
>>42311692I meant crying emoji like how black people use the crying emoji to show theyre laughing so hard that theyre weak, my bad
