can detrans reppers post here

>>42609123
yes
anglican
yes
meditate sometimes mostly

i need to stop coming to this thread since it's not helping with actually ignoring it but also i just woke up and have already cried so
>>42609123
no to all of the above
>>42606689
i don't get the whole "never goes away" thing. i've had extended periods where it genuinely did kinda go away, last time my eating disorder got really bad which was enough of a distraction that when i fixed that it took awhile for the dysphoria to come back
>>42609164
sure who cares

First for stop masturbating, get a job and meet friends irl

>>42609172
my religion has nothing to do with me repping tho
i think they'd throw a celebration for me if i did

yesterday i heard through wall mom here and dad being somewhere else aruing fiercely if i am agp (says dad) or hsts (says mom). mom sounds prejudiced towards agp ,dad does not.he berates mom for saying i was posessednby demon (demonica x3) and then flipping like that with take on childhoid stuff. prolly auditiry hallucination but fuck if i am to die repping i will in a circus. reoping while nepping mir carefully... need to keep opio tolerance low and stash high for kniwn strategic ourposes plus it doesnt hit same opios i mean but likely overshoot dose Helen stronk af, surely not your normak streetshit of 20% but i heard monoacetylmorphine is stronger than h and it occurs as unitendioned byoroduct of acetylation. anyways. later was 100%real. mom came to a room where i was and wanted my opinion on a purses she wanted to buy online didnt asked if for herself or sis they were intentioned for. i said subtly purle one.. today i heard tru schizo uncle talking with grqndma about mincers and brojen bones, yesterday i got asked about cousin when i cakenback from dad's... also big pupils mean big power this is why 70s pacifists failed due to h:k ratio, 80s glam ended in a wigger chuddification caus stronkest of them all the rokbwas given to ghettochud niggas. gonna buy neppy 10 i will fly on your back towards freedom My Beloved Craze, show must go on as without hope everyone dies, opios are paliative care for hopeless i fell to alert of hope even when nodding which i even didnt liked back then...
>>42609123
sliritual irreligious. religion destroyed my life

Not religious or spiritual. I have a (ex) friend who is into woo stuff and it just seems silly to me. I can appreciate religion for the community and tradition but spiritual stuff always feels like stuff people get into when they are too dumb to read philosophy or politics. Don’t get me wrong I’m also an anti theist.


I do appreciate the angilican communian for it’s aesthetics.

Unrelated to the prompt but I would really like to shave but my acne keeps cycling. I’m on two retenoids plus a sulfer + niac blemish spot + SA and while it helps it just won’t go away enough so I can shave. Annoying. I hate my body.

>>42609196
your mom and dad argued about if you were agp or hsts? what? this is genuine schizophrenic babble i recognise it because one of my friends is paranoid schizophrenic diagnosed

Hey, I'm um ,I just wanna say.. it doesn't go away. But you can't dwell on it exclusively.

Hide it as well as you can if you truly never plan to transition. Fucking that up can stunt EVERY relationship the information touches.. but

It becomes background noise
We ha a pedo president
A fragile economy
And all live on a razors edge despite our acknowledgement

So just live , cause the bullshit all can't be for naught

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>>42609164
Yeah but you are not welcome here

>i need to stop coming to this thread
Twitte# #eddit teleg#am tumblu#
What's the alternative? Who's going to listen your loser cry? Where it's not Inappropriate?
I'm quite interested.

>>42610265
Not OP but I assume it’s therapy and irl friends. Or better yet just move past it.

But I’m at work all day so who cares. I might even figure myself out more

>>42610353
>Or better yet just move past it.
Don't thinking about it and don't telling anybody. Right?

>>42610430
If that works for you. I’m being more selective about sharing until I feel more concrete about moving forward.

>>42610265
yea the point would be to stop loser crying not find another place for it lmao
never going to go away if i keep coming to the thread to indulge it

>>42609123
take your HRT, retards

Protestant. I choose not to use religion as an excuse for self loathing

>>42610928
I don't know how to get it anymore

>>42614219
>>42553552

>>42609123
>are you religious?
No but I do pray from time to time. It feels good in the moment and a part of me believes it could really do something.

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>>42609123
No. But wrote reams of how I want to tailor an afterlife server.
>>42610928
HRT won't make everyone women.

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Reminder that religion does not prohibit you from being trans. In fact you're straying further from God by repressing

>>42609177
friends? where do you buy that?

>>42614540
speaking of nightcore good ones are animal libera and flying high.
my beloved will arrived at weednesday. hope must go on.
lece bo chce

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I've thought long and hard about it, and in some aspects I think I much rather be a guy. I think I look hot as fuck as a guy. I'm hotter than timothee chalamet. I would also look horrific if I were to bald. And transition wouldn't be being a woman. It would be some weird man thing. I want to be in a cishet relationship and I prefer women much more than men. It's simply the right choice for me. However there is always a part of me that thinks if we had future technology and we could physically change our sex, I would have done so immediately after I heard about it

>>42614540
Let me guess you have to be celibate and not agp

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I feel at the very edge of both trooning and kms.
Every time I come home from college, I see the girls and remember that I was born a man, and I cry on the bus on the way home. And i cry to try to avoid exploding in my sperg meltdowns.
My body and myself are enemies, hostile imprisonment mechanisms, All my life, since day zero, I have lived it in the concentration camp that are my body and mind.
You don't know how much i wish i wasn't this dysphoric sperg, how much I wish i was born as a woman and not this degenerate, depressed, mentally ill AGP sperg.

im a hrt repper, i take castration pills but still look like a man and always will

>>42615226
If you're hotter than Timothee Chalamet, you'll survive going bald.
Timothee Chalamet will survive going bald if he goes bald.
The secret to is to find women whose fathers are bald. They care much less if you go bald.

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>>42614540
>Reminder that religion does not prohibit you from being trans. In fact you're straying further from God by repressing

the persona of me being trans is something i created to protect myself from reality and from the shame and guilt that is in my core. i imagine the trans version of myself that is pretty, that gets attention, that is liked and this fake character distracts from the real me i am hiding inside. ultimately if i transition towards this idealisation, its still just a fake, nobody would see the real me. if i could look exactly how i wanted id still feel like im a puppet and that im being controlled from a distance, carefully curating my performance so that no one can see how afraid i am of being seen for what i really am.

>>42614540
>>42617571
If repressing is keeping you from developing spiritual self and achieving transcendent self, then repping is forcing you further from God.

>>42609164
yes but please don't mention it because you existing makes me upset
I technically chose to end up like this too but at least I barely ever had a chance

update
>>42608427
I had a mental breakdown for like 4 more hours after this post until I laid on my bed and just passed out in like a minute
now that I'm awake again I've chilled out significantly and am back to being an apathychad

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>>42614540
>>42617902
>In fact you're straying further from God by repressing
This actually does feel very true, increasingly so as time goes on. By nature the state we're in doesn't really allow for any true self-actualization.
There's probably some value in having had a taste of this as an intermediate character-building type thing if you ultimately still make it out, but if you're stuck like this for the rest of your life it's just meaningless wasted suffering that created no good.
I deserve repperhell though, it's entirely my own fault that I'm stuck here now.

>>42617902
Saguna Brahman is a girl. You are everything, you are universe is you

me baked like Snoop Dog doing saltwater inhalatuons for old fart buddy next to me played old music,"you are awoman"was played twice. fuck third time. harminica haunts he knows? and her looking at me funilly, smiling despite usually being gossippy bitchy???
4time.

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>>42618200
Nice you're chilled out again. Were your classes interrupted?
>>42618619
>repperhell
I suppose it is a combination of our own fault and our circumstances that lead us to repperhell. We can't control our situation. We can strive to control our reaction to it.
So don't beat yourself up too much, which is advice I probably shouldn't be giving since I can't seem to take it myself.

it's so funny how the copy-pasted subject line has been misspelled for so many threads in a row now, fittingly reppercoded
if I get to make the new thread next time I'm gonna throw in another incorrect letter and see if anyone notices/cares

>>42618720
The great is reflected in the small. We are the cosmos looking back on itself.
In the same way, what we hear sometimes tells us more about what we're thinking than we realize.
How's your day going? Are you working today?

>>42618732
no I just didn't go lol

>>42618768
Nonny please go to class.

>>42618795
why?

>>42618810
Anon you'll regret not getting an education while you can.

>>42618755
yep at work... bizarre times. i got reasons to think its all in mu head but there is this synchronicity shit or whatever... some of it might be real. bro at job plays Bad Boys Blue Michelle now... tha fakka? head full of fuck. are they fucking with me benelovently???

>>42618820
I don't think I'll be using it anyway

>>42618768
I'm old, so I'm not going to moralfag you by saying you should go to class. I'll just say you should go to class if you're paying for it, because otherwise, you're not getting your money's worth.
What are you studying?
>>42618828
Synchronicity is equally what happens and how we are prepared to respond to what happens. Don't get the first confused with the second.
Also, it's usually best to assume benevolence. Kind of like how bad things people do usually happen because people are stupid rather than evil. Does that make sense?
Either way, how's work going? I'm working late, since I'm a hemisphere away.

>>42618856
:(

https://strawpoll.com/wby5QoJ61yA

>>42618878
well its going on fine. geninuelly bizarre. dreamlike. feeling like about to meet destiny. feeling of being on a path. back to walking it. everything is submerged of silvery glow. salvation is now. big feels

>>42619041
Keep walking. Salvation is something we achieve every day.
I'm sitting rather than walking, I'm afraid. Filling out job applications with my art in the background.

>>42618878
I try to go enough to not fail
animal ag stuff I don't care about

oh and the guy who played musicbis a good buddy of mine, he has a lot of wackyvstories to tell he once was on fo go show "mixed one" where every other girl was trans alternating show. he even ised correct lronoins i heard him tellong that story few times it was from times when he worked as security agent i think... hes one crazy mofo as well like most people here heh

>>42618885
>https://strawpoll.com/wby5QoJ61yA
I consider myself bisexual as I find both the male and female body very erotic but I don't think I could ever have sex. I don't have that iron in me to do so. So functionally I'm just a pervert.

I thought I was over it because I thought I accepted I like having a dick.

>>42618885
This doesn't matter sexuality really is fluid

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How I feel inside (loli) vs how I look (top right)

fifth time back from gymnastics of geriatrics. hes doing that on a ourpose i swear, i have chills i hear harminica
this is more than the game. i will feel so right. ooohady of the night. what the. cant cry. eh

on repeat it was for awhile... she who made comments looks at me funilly in a friendly manner... not only her. they know? the fuck? the fuck? that stare... friendly but....

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>>42609123
>Are you religious?
I think yeah. But I very confused about it. I don't really believe in gods or anything. It's all can be a fiction after all. Game of our stupid brainwashed minds. Monotheism it's the most retarded thing imo.

>If so, what religion/sect?
I call it rituals but normies see it as Satanism.

>Are you "spiritual"?
I might be.

>If so, what does that mean to you and how do you practice it in your life?

Literally any activity. You can be spiritual even when you pissing or shitting yourself in pants because you can't run to the toilet quickly. Eating food can be spiritual too I believe. Or something like that.

So it's more like art to me.

>>42614540
>you're straying further from God by repressing

No, I think it's your god who's distancing himself from me. First, he made me a poor loser. Then he made me realize I'm not like everyone else. Trans. Physically. He could make pills and surgeries more accessible. Change the situation in my country. Idk no sign.
But no, that's not happening. So you're god don't exist or he just hates me and makes me stay this way.

>>42616888
He would not survive going bald. No man survives going bald. It universally looks worse. But I wont go bald because I take dht blocker

>>42609123
>Represser
oh so estrogen Does kill braincells huh...

there's zero motive to rep if you're white btw

>>42619306
It is over. If you like your dick you have turbo AGP which is unfortunate albeit treatable with repression tactics.

>>42618619
>This actually does feel very true, increasingly so as time goes on. By nature the state we're in doesn't really allow for any true self-actualization.
>There's probably some value in having had a taste of this as an intermediate character-building type thing if you ultimately still make it out, but if you're stuck like this for the rest of your life it's just meaningless wasted suffering that created no good.
all of this applies to me and I'm not even a repper
>I deserve it though, it's entirely my own fault that I'm stuck here now.
not true for me, not true for you
let's live, anon

>>42618820
this

i am 29 with no degree and no skills!!!!

EDUCATION IS BASICALLY FREE IN MY COUNTRY!!!!

>>42618820
Id agree even if formal education is a useless scam. It will at least give you more time to be feminine and grow into yourself. If there's a chance for a happy ending its during that time

>be me
>31yo
>finally decided to stop repping in September
>today while out for some errands
>a straight couple after passing me, she: "wow, that woman knows how to elegance"
>him: "you sure it's a woman? either way, that trench and those boots are quite cool"
>I turn around on a pretext to check whether they were talking about me
>he turns around embarrassed and tells his gf: "shit, i hope she didn't overheard us"
Native tongue is heavily gendered and they had no reason to be polite, especially since they weren't even sure I heard them (it was pure accident that I did hear them as it was a slight moment of relative quietness on an otherwise noisy boulevard).
D...d...did I just malefail? That fast?

>>42624755
>>you sure it's a woman?
not an unequivocal mailfale by any stretch, but good for you regardless

>>42624834
When I turned around he was embarrassed for asking and said to his girl "i hope SHE didn't overhear us"
It all lasted under 20 seconds.
Still, I'll use that kind of outfit more, lol.

>>42624755
Mad jelly

>>42620686
If you looked like this would you troon

>>42625092
She was incredibly attractive in her youth.

>If you looked like this would you troon
Probably not. It depends.
Would you?

>>42625092
I'm personally not keen on the idea of looking like a bogged octogenarian at my age, so probably not

>>42625092
I'm already less masculine than that thing.

>>42610195
This picture is so aggravatingly AGP

i wanna be a goth woman with big boobs

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i am a terrible crazy foid for asking such questions, usually i drink to suppress my sorrows, but i ran out of vodka, and dislike the whiskey i have left, and im trying to not drink nowadays, so it leaked out

>>42626141
Ask him what he would do if you were a worm.

>>42624755
Not bad nona. Not bad.
>>42626263
I was trying not to drink also, but I broke and was day drinking today. I feel you.

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>>42626593

yeah
Latin rite Roman Catholic
No, not really
Daily Prayer for others, the World and myself, celebration of Holy Days, Mass attendance, reading of texts on theology, ethics, ontology, epistemology and metaphysics, discussion thereof with other faithful

>>42626683
>daily prayer for others
>texts on metaphysics
You are a good soul.

>>42626634
No joke I legit wish I had someone I could ask stupid shit like that.

How do I know if I am a repper vs a cis man (they them) that actually shouldn’t trans. It’s all vibe based so how does anyone know

>>42627002
Unfortunately, there's a time component.
If you feel like you should trans, then later don't but feel OK, then you're probably fine. Live your life.
If you feel like you should trans, then consistently feel that way over the years, to the degree where the years you've spent before feel miserable and wasted, then you're probably a repper.

>>42627108
I feel like I would be miserable regardless of gender or fashion. But I’ve thought about trans bullshit for too many years (8?). But it comes and goes on my mood.

>>42627151
>miserable regardless of gender
To me it sounds like you might not be a repper.
A consistent repper sees a change of gender as a comforting solution rather than an escape.
Do you feel depressed? Have you explored that in any way?

To the big nerdy guy(tbd) in the engineering department of my college with dark hair up in a ponytail and loose fitting jeans and a vaguely sad facial expression: sorry I kept looking at you, but also you're not too big to transition, and you need to get on hrt for your mental health's sake. Please don't end up like me.

>>42627256
Yes, I have depression and it’s hard to untangle causes and solutions

>>42627299
I hear you on untangling causes and solutions.
For my own part, I felt like I should have been a girl from a young age.
I have depressive symptoms as an adult, but I believe they are connected to the disconnect I feel between my apparent identity and my internal identity.
I've had dreams of myself as an average, frumpy woman, not at all attractive, and those have been some of the best dreams I've ever had.

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nta
i've never had a dream where im a woman.

>>42627558
I had a dream where a doctor outed me to a parent, but the subtext was my body telling me (my brain), that yes I am trans. I guess I am overthinking that I am repping but I also don’t know if I am trans. Idk


The only other dream was someone calling me Mrs. Lastname and it felt gross and agp.

i've only either had dreams of being a woman when i was a kid (too young for it to mean anything) or like really recently (trying to psyop myself into believing i'm trutrans)
>>42626892
omg same. i've really been wanting a bf to cuddle and do stupid cutsey shit lately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ghhbnrmeo
I was supposed to be like Tarzan's father. Intelligent. Resourceful. Put together.
But I wasn't.
I failed as a man. I failed her. I failed my family. I failed myself. I was never cut out for any of this.
Feeling stupid and drunk. Probably regret posting this tomorrow. But it's been on my mind forever.

>>42622442
Right, then they're supposed to spend their entire existence in obsessive doubt about being a male brained freak? Even worse just how meaniningless and stupid it is to even be concerned with being "malebrained" to begin with

>>42625230
She does looks kinda badass just kinda the ugly witch kinda that grinds babies into potions but who knows with my compassionate physiognomy it'll even things out
>>42625628
You have a nice round skull already?

>>42627283
He's a rock music chad he was only sad looking at your miserable condition briefly but would totally bully you next time making you question before projecting your mental illness next time

You know how some people like to wonder if they would have sex with their clone I would beat the crap out of my clone

Picking on your mom get hit on is pretty embarrassing and humiliating like feeling like a cuck is it just normal male feel or related to repping or just indicative of bad relationship with your mom?

>>42630708
odds are high that if youvwere foid your taste in men would be way more distrkus than your mother. yes projectingva bit perhaps.

>>42609123
if there was a loving god he'd make me a girl.

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>>42625922
So much this
It's not fair

such a testament to how potent of a poison it is that women on testosterone after a year often look like normal men, but men on estrogen for the same period barely change
even in the realm of trooning out, women still win, huh

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The more they poon the more dysphoric i get

>>42633644
no, they don't. most pooner chronically don't pass even after years on t.

speaking of, my mental health rests on two pillars: larping as a man in my head and larping as a man on the internet. i have finally accepted i'm a pooner but would never transition, nor would i admit i'm trans to anyone outside of 4chan. constantly stressed. this is tiresome.

>speak
>accidentally sound feminine, at least in my head voice
>day ruined

im graduating from repping tomorrow, goodbye sisters.

>>42636060
what are your next steps?

>>42636152
saving up money and getting a canadian citizenship so i can live with my trans gf

>>42620901
i think you want /femrepgen/, no true repper is on estrogen