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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

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I would really like a lot of eyes on this post in particular even though it is essentially responding to >>42876840:
>We should probably put together some kind of general advice document for how to start dealing with self-loathing. I feel like a lot of people post here just saying things like “I hate myself.”
Yes, 100%. The question is how many steps into the process are feasible to preempt. I would start suggesting a base template and would like multiple people to dwell on it.
>1. What is it you hate about yourself, specifically?
Here, the goal is to first articulate specific traits (personality, looks) in concrete terms, because the self is not a monolith.
>2.a Which of these traits do you consider mutable/immutable? What have you tried in the past?
>2.b What traits you find desirable (in others) do you lack?
Both of these serve to formulate concrete goals. I don't know how much more I could make a template since it quickly becomes individual. But of course a lot will be stuff like this:
>quitting habits
>changing aspects (weight,hrt,muscles,voice,mindset)
>fulfilling needs (making friends,making money, dating)
which is where the hard part starts.

Also, please check the last thread for replies!

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>>42883914
I am so glad to hear that you get the hell out of such an awful environment.
>I am learning, and I think that's what matters most. I would rather have slightly amateurish makeup than none at all.
A beautiful outlook, catscratch! And I would say Maomao is a pretty great pick. She is hardy, but very empathetic and compassionate at heart, as much as it annoys her. I wish you nothing but the very best going forward, and hope your curiosity will lead you to many lovely discoveries.
>>42883996
>I don't know how to get anything done without having an external deadline that I personally can't alter
Have you struggled with this for most of your life, perhaps? So far a ton of people who have felt this way wound up with an ADHD diagnosis. Even if you don't have one, looking into how people with ADHD cope with these issues might give you useful insights.
>>42888769
I haven't had roasted sweet potato in ages, come to think of it.
>>42884207
>That's the most difficult part of this, there's no way to really help or reprimand him for this.
>Not without making him lash out again.
Yeah, I must admit that I am tempted to ask whether he can be reigned in by people ACTUALLY conspiring against him, instead, but that doesn't sound like it would bode well either.
>I hope work is treating you well!
Reasonably!


With that I believe I caught up. I won't be around much the coming days, stay safe.

I watched a YouTube video and felt this alien sadness I had when I was playing Class of '09
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_7YFVmbNyI
the kind of missing out sadness
I never lived in the anglosphere.
when I growed up in my shitty third-world country I always thought people in first-world country lived in an utopia where they cannot suffer.
t. SEAnig

>>42892948
>thought people in first-world country lived in an utopia where they cannot suffer
Yeah that just isnt the case.

>>42892977
I am sure they don't but for sure they have infinitely little invisible hands that help them to be, not an complete, utter failure. Things like, neetbux. while it surely enables the worst of people to not better their life, it would infinitely uplift the life of the motivated.
a strong passport, so whatever visa application you need to apply isn't viewed as some potential terrorist.

>>42892160
I think it would be useful early into the document to encourage the reader to check in on their current self care situation and make themselves more comfortable in the moment (like showering or eating if they need to) before they start thinking about the bigger picture. Because if you’re here posting about why you hate yourself, you’re probably in a state of active self neglect that will make it harder to think constructively.

It could be called something like “I Hate Myself: What Do I Do Now?”

I agree with asking the reader to think about what they hate about themselves and then to distinguish what they can change from what they can’t change.

We should probably outline a short radical acceptance exercise from DBT about accepting things you don’t like about yourself that you cannot change.

This could be like something to read while you’re waiting from a response in /sig/ or if you don’t feel ready to post.

>>42893094
You’re right that even though poverty and hardship do exist in the anglosphere, people in the first world have a tendency not to recognize that they are still better off relative to people in the third world. It’s unfair, just as it’s unfair for anyone to live in deprivation while others keep more than they need.

It’s important to recognize what is possible in order to realize the better world we want to exist, instead of passively accepting that things must always be the way they are.

But for the sake of our own mental wellbeing, it’s just as important not to judge our lived reality against a fantasy. Our fantasies, by their nature, seem better than reality, and it’s all too easy to overlook what is good in our actual lives by deciding that our fantasies are better.

There’s a classic poem called “Miniver Cheevy,” about a man who stays miserable because he thinks he’d be happier if he could have been a knight in medieval times instead of trying to make the best of the life he actually has. I hope you find it helpful.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44978/miniver-cheevy

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Trying again to get a GP appointment to discuss a shared care agreement, although given recent events in UK trans healthcare (like stopping HRT for minors), my belief that I will ever see any HRT through prescription is extremely low. Which, if I can't get, just means any chance I have at a military career is over, also means all the money I've spent trying to go through private healthcare options will have been down the drain.
Did my laser test patch (generally a pointless thing since I've had laser before, but every new place I go seems to want their own one doing), so I've got an actual round of laser booked this week. And I'm about to go on nightshifts again, which always upsets my head.
Hit a new bodyweight low at 68.7kg (170cm), hoping I can drop to 65 inside this month at a push.
>>42856130
>Your colleague must have a density just shy of their Schwarzschild radius.
Believe it or not, they used to work in the nuclear industry. I think (or hope) they've connected the dots and either assume I'm just some form of NB at least (as opposed to a deeply repressed trans woman).
>Sounds like the most urgent possible thing to do is to find ways for you to be able to express femininity in a safe/comfortable environment?
Basically, yeah, the issue I have is that, for me, that basically means absolute privacy, which I don't have because I'm at home with my parents, and it's not like they're horribly transphobic or anything, but I have a mental block over it.
I would move out (I have an income afterall), but I'm having to squeeze all the money I have into trying to transition and probably wouldn't be able to afford to otherwise.
>>42892948
>I always thought people in first-world country lived in an utopia where they cannot suffer.
You'd think so, given the vast material wealth of such nations, but nope, first-world nations still have huge groups of people who are allowed to effectively just fail or are discriminated against into "failing".

>>42892160
>>42893331
It would also be good to explain that not hating yourself involves not only changing your circumstances, but also the way you think, since how we feel about ourselves becomes subjective beyond a certain point.

And that satisfaction is a deliberate mindset as much as it is something that we get when our needs are met. I feel like I see a lot of posts like “I can’t be happy until I have achieved these long term goals A, B and C, but I can’t bear to be unhappy for the time it will take to accomplish them.”

It seems common for people to have trouble distinguishing between wanting to make their present moment bearable and planning the big picture.

>>42894534
>recent events in UK trans healthcare (like stopping HRT for minors)
Bought 300 weeks (roughly) of HRT. So hopefully that gets here in the next few months and then I can feel like my autonomy is actually secured.