>>43354505
hmm ndgen? for neurodivergent
tismgen, neetgen, nodontshootgen

>>43354669
i like ndgen

>>43354505
>overmasking
i think i have the fembrained type of autism. i told myself i am not like autists because i have social intuition and empathy and perceptiveness and stuff. i think maybe that was just my special interest all along.

>>43354943
Higher IQ autists tend to have good social perception. So do people with ADHD. As well as autists that have people as special interest: psychology, anthropology, history, kink, sexology (hi blanchardists), etc

Does anyone else feel bad about not being able to perform ANY gender well because of their autism? I was never good at being a boy and now I'm even worse at being a girl.

>>43355105
It’s okay, autistic women for the most part have no clue either

i know this board is crawling with autists where you at

>>43354669
ndgen is good imo

>>43355105
boyfailure to girlfailure
many such cases!

>>43355105
yes. I will never be a woman OR a man. just a stupid weird creature that happens to look like a human

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oh hello anon. i'm glad you decided to make the thread. maybe it'll be nice to talk about experiences
I'm not diagnosed with autism but that's because I've chosen not to. In between this thread and the last one I got called autistic unprompted again. Two of my best friends are neets who are on disability for autism, and we get along really well. It makes me think that I do have high functioning autism. I feel like a warrior in alterac valley with 15 debuffs trying to figure out if i need to pop my shadow reflector. I hope despite not being diagnosed it'd be okay for me to spend my time here.
One of the things about being probably autistic that really upsets me is my voice. When I talk to people they always tell me that I'm muttering and need to speak up, but then sometimes people also tell me I'm talking way too loud. Both cases embarrass the hell out of me, but I legitimately can't tell when my voice is being loud or quiet. I hear this is an autism symptom so I wanted to complain about it

Another issue that really frustrates me is sensory processing disorder. I am extremely perceptive in some ways. However, I am unable to understand human speech when multiple people are talking or there are many sounds of different tempos playing at the same time. I can't understand people at all if there's music on with words or people are talking over each other. This makes large scale social events really difficult. I can become popular at the party sometimes, but I'm only able to do it by retelling history, literature, or mythology in an interesting way.

My sensory processing issues still come up though because when someone else interrupts I lose my ability to speak. I really enjoy socializing online because communicating via text is way easier than trying to speak. Sometimes I go mute and I have to write down what I want to say on a piece of paper even though I'm an adult and it's embarrassing but its a good coping mechanism I taught myself.

i wish i had the super focused and locked in autism/adhd instead of the one that makes you paralyzed and stuck in your head all day

>>43357371
>Sometimes I go mute and I have to write down what I want to say on a piece of paper even though I'm an adult
thats kinda cute ngl but I know it sucks

>>43354943
I wish I had that fembrained kind of autism. I cant mask at all so all i can do is avoid talking to anyone at all. Ill never be able to be a woman, im not fembrained enough and im too autistic to perform as a woman in social situations. I need to give up on my dream of starting hrt

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>>43357394
anon, don't you have laundry to do?
>>43357453
>thats kinda cute ngl but I know it sucks
thank you.

>>43357456
be careful what you wish for...
i burned out masking. i did the flight to super masculinity thing and i think i succeeded at it but ever since i felt i succeeded i no longer felt it to be rewarding so i lost interest in it. what am i supposed to do for the next 70 years of my life now? i don't want to mask anymore i don't want to man up anymore and i don't want to transition either. i'm microdosing e and dutasteride to preserve myself. i lost interest in my masculine hobbies after losing interest in manning up and my only interests left now are the gay ones. i am scared of the future and i think male brained autists have better futures as they grow older.

>>43357642
if it's any consolation, you would probably be having this conflict if you had transitioned anyways

>>43357394
Same here. Drives me insane sometimes.

what are you all doing this friday evening (or whatever time it is for you)

>>43359909
i was painting my warhammers but i was upset at my lack of skill so i went to bed and now im here

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>>43359909
im cleaning the house

>>43354505
/NeuroGen/

Also I want to say that youtube is weirdly siloized on this. HEAPS of good videos about being trans, HEAPS of good videos about being ASD/ADHD/AuDHD, but literally nothing worth watching about both.

>>43357642
I did the hypermasc thing.
Honestly I think that is femtism. Studies have show that female autists are often better at masking, and prefer socially acceptable special subjects.

In cisgender females that looks like ponies and barbie dolls, in transgender females that looks like tanks and marvel movies. The goal is to fit in. And remember that in autistic people the innate understanding of gender doesn't emerge until late teens/early 20s. That's why so many of us didn't figure out we were trans until later in life, because that sense of gender wrongness that shows up in neurotypical kids when they're 5 or 6, may not show up in a neurodivergent person until they're 25. At that point they've already learned to mask as their AGAB.

And I think that's what a few are struggling with, you were so good at masking as a male why is it so hard to mask as a female? The answer to that is complicated and has a lot to do with post-diagnostic fatigue, but also you haven't been perfecting that mask since you were 3 years old.

And if, like me, you're also dealing with your sexuality for the first time, that's a fucking lot deal with. Normies will literally never have to take that much on board all at once and be expected to figure it out straight away.

>>43360837
Goddamn I make these posts and I'm literally sitting here like why isn't anyone giving me this advice?
I love this thread because pretty much everything I'm posting are the things I need to hear right now. I'm literally treating myself by trying to help you.

/spergen/

>>43354505
Can I be here if I'm autistic and not trans
I'm a bi guy

>>43360873
As long as you're respectful of the fact that most of us are, and will assume you are too.

>>43360873
I think so

>>43360873
yes, please do

I'm schizo and it makes me want to kms this shit sucks

>>43360901
OOOOOH! I literally just watched a video on this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGkKc7SKFco

>>43360901
schizophrenia is a dog's ass
what are your symptoms like?
t. fellow psycho

>>43360936
no I've taken real tests from real doctors who had initially diagnosed me as likely autism, it's schizotypal personality disorder

i hate my retarded voice and i forget what im supposed to talk like

>>43360898
>>43360894
Thanks
>>43360892
Yeah I won't take a reply thinking it's coming from a trans perspective weirdly, I'll just correct

I miss autismgen from a couple years ago and it was the same, like all trans girls but comfy and friendly

>>43360961
Schizotypal personality disorder is NOT schizophrenia. It is a personality disorder whereby the patient has schizophrenic personality traits without actually having schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia isn't really a thing, it's broad category of things that once upon a time included autism and gender incongruence. The thing that links all of these things is that they are neurological, not psychological, in nature. They can't be fixed.

A personality disorder on the other hand is an acquired condition. It's learned behavior and is psychological in nature. It can be fixed with cognitive behavioral therapy. Basically you have to relearn your behavior.

That said I would DEFINITELY get a second opinion on any diagnosis of a personality disorder, and I would make sure it is a full differential diagnosis that comprehensively rules out any form of neurodivergence. The diagnostic criteria for personality disorders are barnum statements, it's basically astrology for psych nurses. There are only two criteria (out of hundreds) that most of the population won't answer yes to sometimes, and that's life dysfunction and suicidality. And those things are in the diagnostic criteria for most of the things in the DSM V.

I will bet money that you don't have schizotypal personality disorder.

>>43361158
eh, you're sort of oversimplifying it.
Schizotypal was originally coined by psychologists as latent schizophrenia
a fraction of people with schizotypal develop it
the low ends of the schizophrenia spectrum (schizotypal, paranoid, etc) just got moved over to personality disorders when really they created that for cluster B and A is mostly just anxiety disorders given funny names. the dsm 5 probably isnt the most accurate form of psychology we've ever had. it's over a decade out of date anyways

My aunts urged my mom to get me an autism diagnosis when I was a toddler. When I was a teenager my doctor thought I had Aspergers. Still have neither diagnosis' to this day. I don't think I have autism nor Aspergers though.

>>43361230
i think u have autism and aspergers nona

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>>43361230
what things lead you to believe that you don't have aspergers?

>>43361215
That's schizoaffective disorder, NOT schizotypal personality disorder.
They're in completely different parts of the book.

A personality disorder is basically them saying "you're putting it on for attention because your parents didn't hug/spank you enough."

Literally everyone I know with ASD has had a PD diagnosis at some point, usually BPD. Most of the people with GD over the age of 40 I know have had a PD diagnosis at some point.

It actually says in the DSM V that ONLY qualified psychiatrists are able to difinitely diagnoses a PD, because it fits literally every set of symptoms from an acquired brain injury to a bit of a cunt sometimes. PDs are a spook.

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>>43361273
>That's schizoaffective disorder, NOT schizotypal personality disorder.
>They're in completely different parts of the book.
LMAO. I think this is sarcastic but I'm talking about the time before the DSM5 when these terms were being developed. it's still on the same part of the ICD.
>PDs are a spook.
I don't agree. There are pathologies like borderline personality disorder and schizoid personality disorder that describe extremely unusual lives with extreme levels of detail uniformly. That's a way more useful diagnosis than shit like "anxiety" when there is no solid foundation towards understanding what is actually wrong with the person and how

>>43361346
Schizotypal disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder are not the same thing.

What you've been diagnosed with isn't in that section, it's in this one:
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/personality-disorders/what-are-personality-disorders

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>>43361379
im not that other anon im just stepping in to defend anon for calling herself schizo. You shouldn't tokenize or play down the struggles of others just because they're lower down on the spectrum. as an autistic person, I'd hope you'd know that.

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>Autism spectrum disorder is characterised by persistent deficits in the ability to initiate and to sustain reciprocal social interaction and social communication, and by a range of restricted, repetitive, and inflexible patterns of behaviour, interests or activities that are clearly atypical or excessive for the individual’s age and sociocultural context. The onset of the disorder occurs during the developmental period, typically in early childhood, but symptoms may not become fully manifest until later, when social demands exceed limited capacities. Deficits are sufficiently severe to cause impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and are usually a pervasive feature of the individual’s functioning observable in all settings, although they may vary according to social, educational, or other context. Individuals along the spectrum exhibit a full range of intellectual functioning and language abilities.
Blackpill

>>43361401
thank you for defending me when I went to the store also I'm a boy but that doesn't matter. never claimed to be schizophrenic. I exhibit most of the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder and find it useful when mental health Drs know about the diagnosis. I'm not a fucking doctor I just don't want to feel bad all the time. I think it's been getting better lately but I am confused a lot of the time

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>>43361401
I'm not the one minimizing it, I'm the one pointing out what a personality disorder diagnosis actually means and why it's almost always fucking bullshit and a product of rank medical incompetence.

They have not diagnosed her as schizophrenic, they've diagnosed her as a bit cooked. I will bet fucking money that there is something actually wrong, that they don't understand because they're normie scum.

>>43361443
>I exhibit most of the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder
So does everyone else.

That's the thing about barnum statements. Human beings have the tendency to interpret discriptions of personality as applying narrowly to themselves, when in fact that apply to a broad part of the population.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect

>>43361443
sorry for misgendering you anon. I'm glad you're doing a little better.

>>43361466
I don't want to argue. I don't go around spouting off my diagnosis or putting it in my tiktok bio for attention. I tell my doctors how I feel. I spent 3 months in intensive and my report at the end indicated that I presented a lot of symptoms of autism and shizotypal personality disorder and that they were more inclined to say schizotypal. not like there's medication or a cure for any of this shit I just want to feel ok and right now paranoia is one of my biggest issues so I'm focusing on that
>>43361531
thank you anon and dw I know most people assume she/her here

>>43361250
I can make friends real easily if I wanted to, I don't have an incredibly hard time with socialization, I just do not want to. I think a lot of my mental issues solely came from Gender Dysphoria. The main reason I avoid real world friendships is because I do not want to be friends with people who see me as anything else but a cis male (i'm FtM), not because of an inability to socialize with others.

>>43361615
I sorta get what you mean. I really don't like socializing with people because it feels like a timer has just started and they're gonna find out i'm trans some day and think less of me for it. So it becomes like, why would I subject myself to that when I can avoid all socialization and never be judged.

>>43361591
>not like there's medication or a cure for any of this shit
Yes there is.
The treatment for a personality disorder is cognitive behavioural therapy. What they're going to do is tell you it's all in your head and you need to get over it.

Wanna guess what that's going to do to you if it actually is autism? This shit has a fucking mortality rate.

>>43361662
Exactly this. I think this way of life for me is temporary though. I'm on DIY T, but still under my parents roof because living prices are fuckin absurd. When I am able to be independent fully, I think I will try to make friends, as I won't have to worry about any family outing me.

>>43361714
I've tried CBT and dbt I guess I'm going for act next. I'm not a retard. I know I shouldn't continue with therapy that makes me feel bad

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>>43361714
they dont even treat all personality disorders with cbt and you're being rude for no reason.

>>43361737
>>43361743
It's not that. That's for talk therapy.
If it's autism what it's going to do is increase masking stress until you have melty after melty while blaming yourself for something you don't actually control, driving you deeper and deeper into social isolation because your nervous system is literally shutting down because you've been driving it way too hard for way too long.

I know so many cases of autists who've been falsely diagnosed with a PD, and those scars don't heal. It is literally a fucking conjob, because the diagnosis is a barnum statement the patient will almost certainly be satisfied with the diagnosis (at last someone has diagnosed me as a INFJ capricorn with a purple aura! This fits me perfectly!), doctor cashes the cheque with no complaints, 20 years later you find out what's actually wrong with you and have to deal with the grief of the 20 years of life you missed out on because normies have no fucks to give as long as they're getting paid.

Again, this is not just me, everyone who is trans or autistic or both over the age of 40 has these stories. A personality disorder diagnosis is just an easy pay cheque for too many doctors.

>>43361722
Yeah, I feel you. That's sorta the phase I'm in right now. I'm moving away in the fall mostly to get some space between myself and my family. I really love them but there's serious strain and I can't be the lynchpin holding everything together when they can't even see me as a woman. I guess I can't blame them because they knew me as a guy for a long time, but it still hurts. I don't know what else to do but make room to not rub against each other.
Anyways, how long have you been on T for?

>>43361808
no offense unc but I think you're too old to be commenting on modern day psych for neurodivergent young adults. they're handing out autism diagnoses like candy to all my friends. to have multiple professionals tell me they don't think I have autism when I'm 90% of the way there is enough for me to not going around saying I have it. I'm never going to be normal I just want to learn how to be functional

>>43361813
A couple years now. I found out about DIY when I was about 15 years old(?), used birthday/christmas/miscellaneous money to buy the vials and syringe/needle kits until I got a proper job. I'm real glad I found DIY so young. Even though it unfortunately didn't prevent the brunt of puberty, it prevented enough permanent changes so I didn't become an omegapoon.

>>43361853
oh based. diy at 15 is very high initiative. that's respectable af honestly. i got on diy at 18 and i was barely ready for it. You did a good job getting it done so dont be too upset at yourself for what your chromosomes screwed you on. Plus it seems like ftms just get way more masculine bodies with early intervention, you might be able to see it in yourself because of dysphoria.

>>43361848
I actually don't think I am you larping little cunt.
LETS BE FUCKING CLEAR ABOUT SOMETHING

A personality is NOT neurodivergence. At all. In anyway. If you actually have a personality disorder and nothing else there is literally nothing at all wrong with your brain, you 100% neurotypical and do not belong in this thread.

FURTHERMORE, you ignoring the fact that this is actually a fucking massive issue for neurodivergent and transgender people who have been gaslit their whole fucking lives and lost DECADES as a result is not okay.

If you do have a personality disorder, get it fucking treated you fucking idiot. It's is COMPLETELY curable. Not like autism or transgenderism which your fucking stuck with until you die.

You are mentally ill.
I am neurodivergent.
Learn the fucking difference.

>>43361893
Thank you. And don't beat yourself up too much for getting on HRT at 18. Thats still quite early, and I bet you look great as well, whether you're only a few months in or several years in like me. I'm going to head to sleep now as it's quite late for me. I had a good time talking to you nona.

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>>43361899
>You are mentally ill.
>I am neurodivergent.
>Learn the fucking difference.

>>43361930
>I choose to be part of the problem.
Yeah you and the rest of the fucking normies.

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>>43361928
goodnight! hope this general sticks around so we can talk more sometime.

>autistic spergout
>in the autism thread
sisters how did this happen?

>>43362236
it's a good start

boomp

foam sponges and certain fabrics run shivers down my spine. not metaphorically, like the exact same feeling as cold shivers but regardless of temperature. even just imagining the touch of a sponge triggers the nerve response. i haven't told anybody this IRL because it sounds like an elaborate excuse not to shower, which is understandable considering i shower once every few months because of the sponge thing and because i hate getting wet.

>>43362964
so relatable lol. the not shower thing i totally get. for me the feeling of getting wet and drying off makes my skin feel worse than if it was being ripped off. it's sorta like nails on chalkboard right?
i hate that feeling so much. sometimes you want to start screaming in public because it hurts so bad but in home life you can usually avoid them by grabbit it with a paper towel or something that feels auspicious

>>43361930
really don't get why those people are being so childish. i think you're making very good points and i'd be considered young here. bit depressing that there's not much therapy can do for me, though.

not diagnosed since i live in a shithole 3rd world country where all people care about is alcohol, fucking and jesus but there's a pretty good chance i have autism. signs ever since infancy but parents were uneducated.

i just can't believe that this is my life. that there's nothing i can do but filter 99% of who i am just to not be publicly ridculed. and i'm getting fucking worse at it.
planning to start hrt at 19, should be out of this country by then.
don't really think i'd ever pass but anyone's who interacted with me knows i fail at being a man so what's the harm
any advice for an 18 year old, anyone?

>>43363126
fuck you're literally me. i was such a weird offputting autist growing up, it's ridiculous they never had me diagnosed. i felt like such a freak my whole life. I'd love to leave my shithole but i sort of rely on the fact hyperinflation makes working for westerners very profitable. I'd start investigating payment and crypto for DIY

>>43363126
Why are you talking to him instead of me?
You're pretty sure it's autism, he's diagnosed with a completely treatable personality disorder he thinks makes him special and he's making fun of autists because he doesn't understand.

>>43363126
also
>any advice for an 18 year old, anyone?
yeah heaps. Firstly, start scratching and keep scratching. The support, community, and help you need is (probably) there, it's just gatekept to fuck.

>>43363222
still getting used to this place. embarassing lol.

yeah there's probably an underground scene but it's just so risky.
might try to microdose to stay where i'm at currently...transitioning is just not survivable over here. and there's a decent chance that i don't interact with them properly because...autism.
i think out of everything, that fucks with me the most. that trans people (or gays in general) are so centered around this idea of community, of belonging with other trans people, and it's one of the things i'm worst at.
don't wanna be too negative though...it's balanced out with being good academic-wise, i guess.

>>43363126
>any advice for an 18 year old, anyone?
don;t completely fuck yourself over on money while you're going through your transition. You'll get more and more feminine with time, and you should keep your life as stable as possible.

>>43363389
Yeah, look, I live in a country (Australia) where it's very open and encouraged, and I've had enourmous difficulty engaging with both the trans and broader LGBTQ community.
What I was referring to was the neurodivergent community. In order to get to that you just have to keep scratching at the system until it gives you what you need. It doesn't give it up freely, but it does give it up eventually.

>>43354505
I don't have gender dysphoria (I'm cis) but I feel like I've always had "neural dysphoria" or something. I've always hated being autistic and all of my autistic traits make me feel disgusted towards myself. A cure would be the one thing that would make everything much easier, I wouldn't hate myself nearly as much if I didn't have this diagnosis hanging over my head. I have the opposite experience of this wave of late-diagnosed/self-diagnosed people from the last few years, I was diagnosed early and I found out that I had Asperger's when I was twelve. Being lumped in with retards and being fully aware that I would always be seen as one of them made me hate myself like nothing else ever has. I don't understand this catharsis people describe from getting the diagnosis, it just seems like being marked as subhuman forever. I've wanted to be normal for so long and I've tried to kill my autism to the point that it feels strained and very uncomfortable to talk about my "special interests" with anyone. I have experimented with unmasking a little but looking back on it makes me cringe so hard that I've just further commit to trying to bury this shit instead. I just want to be neurotypical and normal so bad.

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Anybody else here raised by religious parents but not themselves a believer because they were always genuinely too autistic for it to register on an emotional level?

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Anybody else genuinely academically smart but cannot make use of it because autism also brings social awkwardness with it? I don't think i am ready to transition yet specifically for this reason since i fear i'll be eaten alive by society just for stumbling over my words

my mum (and landlord) is a christian homophobe
and i'm gonna send her a letter confessing to being a gay nonbeliever

hows my letter?
https://rentry.org/64cgvtki

the only way out of this is to kill myself

>>43354669
tardgen
t.tard
>>43355105
used to, now I dgaf mostly due to having lost so much, though that may change if I fix my life enough, possibly by defeating my lifelong enemy executive dysfunction

>>43361466
barnum? dang near killed'm

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>>43362236
I love it

>>43364336
Lots of boomers hide their autism with the rigidity of religion

>>43361965
Threads still alive.

i have autism, but im cis. did i fuck up?

>>43366134
No?

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I have ADHD :) They asked if I wanted an autism test too but I said nah (too based)

>>43364629
Anon, no! There is another way: accepting and affirming the pain, no matter how bad it gets. Love your fate. Live for those brief windows where the pain subsides.

>>43354505
/augen/

wish i had any friends or knew how to have any

>>43364201
Are you me, anon? I hate the diagnosis so much sometimes, but there doesn’t seem to be any hope for a cure coming anytime soon.

>>43367934
>there doesn’t seem to be any hope for a cure coming anytime soon
It doesn't help that boomers have fixated on vaccines as the cause for the last thirty years when we know that genetics is the actual cause. I got excited when CRISPR first took off because it seemed like the road to gene-editing but it hasn't gone anywhere since. It seems like the only cure for autism is pre-natal testing and eugenics, neither of which are of any help to those of us that are already adults. I wish there was more discussion for those of us who were early-diagnosed and came to resent the label rather than just everything being for white quirk chungus millennial women that self-diagnosed or became late-diagnosed from TikToks in 2022. I am tired of the forced positivity that surrounds autism, where everyone treats it as some sacred thing you have to love and if you want a cure that means you're flawed as a person.

>>43366318
i will talk to you on disc if you want but im pretty boring

>>43368453
i would too but im even more boring, i think thios is why i dont have any friends all my activities consist of this board and scrolling a lot

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do yall feel empathy?

>>43369884
i dont feel anything im not human

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>>43369910
oh

Why can't autists twerk?

Were any of you late diagnosed? How did it go for the first year? How did it go after that?
I've been told by a couple of people that the first year actually gets harder even though you think it's going to get easier because your brain is giving itself permission to heal and/or you changed but society didn't and now you're having to learn all the new rules.

I've had two melties in the last week, is the right thing to do just take it easy and focus on myself? Or something else?

>>43370039
lack of complex motor control. thats why I only do sports that involve standing extremely still and moving one muscle
>>43370130
diagnosed at 16, attempted suicide 3 times in the next 3 years. graduated college 6 years later and now I have a good but precarious job. im 26 now and still live with my dad. I still have meltdowns
I think being diagnosed is depressing because autism is incurable and for me it kinda explained my childhood. Also until I was 16 I just thought I was bad at making friends, but once I got into college my shortcomings became extremely apparent as people expected me to be more adult.
I still sort of feel like a child sometimes (not in a MAP way lol)

>>43370130
i was diagnosed at 14 i think and its terrible, i think its one of the things that made me completely give up trying to half a normal life shortly after

>>43370233
Naw not like that. I'm late diagnosed, technically still undiagnosed because psychs in my country want two grand to rubber stamp what me, my GP, and my therapist have all established to our complete satisfactions. But this happened fairly recently for me, november last year.

And I kinda thought it would go the same way it went with the gender thing, now I understand what's wrong with me I can deal with it in a healthy and well thought through plan, but it just keeps getting harder.

Noise sensitivity is the big one, I never loved loud noises and if I felt stressed out while driving or whatever I knew first thing to try was to turn off the radio which always worked. But now hyperacuity is fucking me up every other day and I have to keep constantly managing the noise in my environment or I just lose it.

Why is it more of a problem now I know what the problem is than it was before I knew? Am I just being a big baby?

bump

>>43369884
Too much

bump

Can anyone do a sperg dump on white noise generators?

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>>43372809
buy one that isnt just a speaker. (aka a dohm). You can get a used one for uber cheap. They really do kinda slow your brain down. Great for sleeping

>>43372976
Yeah I just put on some wind from youtube, an hour in and I've completely chilled out.

No autists on today?
I still vote for /NeuroGen/ btw.

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The other day a friend's chip broke so she started menstruating again and asked me what do I use. I got really fucking scared and said the first brand that came to my mind.

She then went to the bathroom and I was sweating like a pig and laughing about to have an anxiety attack and come out to her but luckily when she came back she didn't question me further.

I now have to study menstruation. Fuck my life.

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>>43369884
I do but only when people express bad feelings in front of me. Like, if I see someone crying I feel it but if someone tells a sad story I kind of do not give a shit and try to play a script.

>>43370130
As a child my life was really okay so my weird behaviours were never adressed. As a teen I had a severe dissociative problem so all my personality was shut down and it only resufaced after transitioning (at 16). So I got diagnosed at 18.

>>43373788
>actually knows period-pad brands
holy divine trutrans

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>>43373834
When I changed my google account gender to female it started showing me pads ads so I know a bunch of brands. Also they advertise them in some radio shows I listen to.

>>43373831
>I do but only when people express bad feelings in front of me. Like, if I see someone crying I feel it but if someone tells a sad story I kind of do not give a shit and try to play a script.
i'm like the opposite lol. if i hear a sad song i start crying but if somebody breaks down into tears i can't feel anything and feel guilty about it.

>>43373831
>>43370233
>>43370416
>diagnosed at 18
>diagnosed at 14
>diagnosed at 16
Not really what I mean by "late diagnosed" children. I meant 30+ late diagnosed. As in an actual adult (which you're supposed to be to use this site btw).

When I figured out my gender it was like a massive weight had been lifted off my life. "Oh of course, that's why this this and that other thing have been so hard, I feel so much better now testosterone isn't driving me into a rage every 2.5 seconds!"
But then I started interacting with the LGBTQ community and I started to realize, "hang on a second, I'm still different to everyone else, I'm still struggling in ways they aren't, I still feel like everyone else got a copy of the rulebook and I didn't."
And then I find out from here that if you're trans there's actually a pretty good chance you're ASD/ADHD/AuDHD too. So I get the assessment done with my GP (who isn't qualified to diagnose, but knows her shit), and yep, sure enough, it's coming up in the range of "highly likely" for both. Just need the official state-licenced psych to sign off which I can't fucking afford (I have a plan, don't worry).
But I start looking into it and sure enough this explains a whole bunch of stuff too, no real treatment for the autism, but the meds will work for the ADHD when I get them, in the meantime I can jury rig a treatment plan with what I've got available (it's weird that my government makes only the most unhealthy options for dealing with my shit legal). It's working. Caffeine and nicotine are helping restore executive function and I'm back in some sort of control of my life.

But the autism stuff is the exact opposite. It's like the more I know about what it's doing to me the harder it is to deal with what it's doing to me. I didn't used to break down from noise sensitivity, and now I really really fucking do. On Friday I just could not find a place within a mile radius quiet enough to calm my brain down.

>>43374372
Autistic people tend to embody symptoms they read about. You have a certain sensitivity limit and if you go past that then some things will really stress you. Can be food, sound, people. But it always chooses something. It will go over as you start to reduce all input.
Furthermore, internal emotions also come at you harder. So stressing about being autistic will make you more autistic ironically enough. You will in time forgive yourself for these things

>>43374729
This post did not make me feel better.

>>43374729
>You will in time forgive yourself for these things
When? I'm almost thirty and still hasn't happened yet

OMG there's an indian wedding 4 kms south of me, I can literally hear the stupid nonsense language lyrics of their godawful music.
Please God let me die!

>>43375490
if there isn't a wedding there's distant cracks that sound suspiciously gunshot-like. i feel you.

>>43375498
Or trusks using their engine brake.
Did you know that noise cancelling headphones cost about the same amount as a soviet 122mm mortar system?

>>43354505
I do not think the solution to any autistic person's general problems is to "be autistic".

>>43355008
I have never met a person who had gender or sex as a special interest who wasnt obviously and obnoxiously autistic

>>43360892
trans people are already a majority in cis threads, what difference does it make

>too autistic to relate to anyone i have similar interests with
>not autistic enough to have similar interests with other autists (aka all other tranners)
livingsucks

>>43374729
Oh gods, this is wise and helpful, I will save your words because they make so much sense.


I've been trying to learn how to apply lipstick for a couple of years now and it stresses me out so much. Every time I put on lipstick, it takes me 30 minutes, and by the end, I don't even know if it looks good, because I lose track of what good even means. How do girls just effortlessly apply lipstick in one motion, ugh.
I think I had the same problem with cooking too, and I think it's because of my autistic OCD or something. At one point, after years and years of trying and failing miserably, cooking just "clicked" for me, finally. It took me 10x the time compared to normies. I think something is very not normal with the way I learn and understand things.

OMG the indian noise stopped.
I have never felt so much relief.
I actually and unironically hate all south asians now.

>>43375490
>>43375655
Barely related. Is it weird that I can tell if s truck/bus is coming because I feel their weight on the street through vibrations? When it is really quiet I can even feel them from my apartment. Though buses here are also noisy af.

>>43375619
I had the same problem so I picked up things that autistic tranners seem to like. Autists can get into most things with patterns

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i wasnt able to fall asleep last night and feel a little frustrated

I woke up at 2am to yap to myself about racism.

>>43378551
I also talk to myself for hours on end. Sometimes racism

>>43378563
Are you interesting? I'm pretty interesting.

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>take estrogen
>get more autistic
>brain now experiences oxytocin deprivation as being in heat
>autism made me into a MtOmega

>>43378905
>brain now experiences oxytocin deprivation as being in heat
wait, is that a thing?

>>43379180
have you not felt that shiver down you, that ache in your shoulders that creeps down your spine telling you that your body is craving the touch of another?

>>43379497
Yeah I know what heat is, I just wasn't aware that was the mechanism behind it.

>>43379576
so youve experienced it?

>>43379497
sex is hard sometimes because that feeling is too intense and i shake because of my sensory issues

>>43379680
ramp it up, see if you can hit that point where your brain breaks and all sensation is just gasp producing intensities of sensation

>>43379680
wah wah im successful even with autism and can connect to other people stoppp

>>43379705
girl are you getting mad youre not getting dick? because thats understandable of so.

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>>43379701
>see if you can hit that point where your brain breaks and all sensation is just gasp producing intensities of sensation
it hhappens from time to time

>>43379730
god its so peak
i cant experience it on retatrutide because antihedonic but holy fuck is it beyond fucking bliss

>>43379729
im getting mad because im not getting any human connection and even in the autismgen people do better

>>43379773
wiggly awkward autism sex lol
seems weird but it works

>>43379847
find a grindr friend?

>>43379860
idek im going full bataille with it
yes please trick my body into thinking im slowly being eaten alive by biting me please do hit my brain with the "everything feels mind shattering and im paralyised and gasping at the every sensation" plsplspls

>>43379895
oh my god i hate you are any of you actually autistic

>>43379919
yes, i just happen to be the kind that will sell my sperg dumbfuckery as cute factor
>look im retarded wont you please coat me in your thick, warm pity?

>>43379605
Yes. Frequently. I thought it was something my pituitary gland was doing because it doesn't know I don't have a womb and can't get pregnant.

>>43379923
i dont want pity i just hoped that in autismgen people will be autistic its not asking for pity youre evil

>>43379941
its gotta be oxytocin
it feels very oxytociny and the same things that release oxytocin feelings in me are what i want on that and feel good on that

>>43379956
girl you are dumb, i mean pity in the way men """pity""" bottoms

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>>43379701
I LOVE that.
Especially afterwards where you just get that rolling orgasm that goes on for ages.
I didn't know that was an autism thing tho?

>>43379729
I am mad I'm not getting dick.

>>43379970
yes im dumb im autistic this is autismgen why are you here go away

>>43379973
ive never heard anyone who wasnt autistic experience it desu
for me its that mind shattered high thats just way beyond any orgasm, and it lasts for like, half an hour to an hour, and you cant do anything but lay there and shake, wide eyed and gasping

>I am mad I'm not getting dick
same, my butt is the bane of me

>>43379988
im the dickable kind of autistic, apparently

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>>43380011
>ive never heard anyone who wasnt autistic experience it desu
yeah but we can't rule out the possibility that everyone experiences it and autistic people are the only ones without the self awareness to not talk about it,

>>43380011
go away to normal mmg or idk why are you here oh my god

>>43380073
Post of the thread award goes to this nona.

Has anyone gone nocturnal on purpose?
I'm really enjoying being outside in the cold between 2-4am at the moment, it's the only time the town noise doesn't bother me.
It does actually seem to be giving me the space to process what's going on with me.

Also it's 5:30 right now so I'm going to have a nap.

>>43380242
yeah i kinda do everything at night, it's mostly because i feel better going outside when it's dark so less people pay attention to my face

I hate autism I just want to be normal so I can be loved :c

>>43380073
tell me it doesnt kinda sound autistic tho

>>43380242
i did this once and it was fun but it was also 2013 and the world was different then

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>>43380184
anon im a sperg like you just in a different way ok

>>43380631
youre clearly not whats the point of posting in autismgen about how okay youre doing socially

>>43380596
>tell me it doesnt kinda sound autistic tho
i mean it definitely sorta does. it passes the vibe check but i don't know if it passes the fact check

>>43380648
me doing ok socially is literally just me having a husband and one other fellow autistic tranny as a friend lol

>>43380700
facts arent real, just soup

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>>43380708
facts dont care about your feelings

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>>43380727
i care, and im all that exists

>>43380702
humblebragging in the autismgen what is even the point anymore

>>43380740
i literally dont leave the house unaccompanied. are you like, actually on your own with no one around you?

>>43380766
i dont leave the house at all i dont have a husband or friends i never did youre at least kinda normal omg shut up

>>43380803
anon id hold your hand outside if i could. you really, really should try to find another autist to hang out with desu.

>>43380740
i don't think that's humblebragging if we're genuinely talking about our lives. im pretty sure everyone here has some profound setbacks because of their issues.

>>43380818
i tried i cant my entire social contact with people is this board lol

>>43380891
have you tried meeting people from this board?

>>43380895
yes

>>43380951
im sorry
i wish i could hang out with you, nona

>>43380977
thank you sorry i got mad im sorry

>>43380702
Not going to lie, there's not a lot I wouldn't do to be you rn.

More yapping please

>>43382356
im trying to eat a pizza and it's taken me 105 minutes because i'm having difficulty focusing on doing it

>>43382364
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBIWvRCSjWM

>>43382385
i remember this movie
why did pixar make so many movies about machines with human traits?

135 minutes
its over
i hate food so much

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>>43374791
im sorry. Just know that it gets better over time
>>43375125
How long have you been thinking deeply about neurodivergency?
>>43375632
Thank you so much. I personally hate the sensory feeling of lipstick. none of my autistic female friends would ever wear it anyway so I don't feel like I shoulder bother much other than to smother someone in marks.

>>43382438
There's actually a conspiracy theory that all pixar movies take place in the same universe accross a huge timeline, and that cars is taking place in the far future after the human race has been extinct for so long the only trace of them is the sentient cars that rule the wasteland we left behind.

>>43382774
yeah but that theory is stupid

>>43382816
YOUR STUPID!
:cries:
:suis:

>>43383053
youre*

>>43382718
>How long have you been thinking deeply about neurodivergency?
I have hated myself for being autistic since I was in high school, the last thirteen years. I hate the term "neurodivergent" as well because it's wokeslop HR speak, it's always used by millennials and zoomers trying to larp as quirky and eccentric.

>>43354505
Not autistic but I am schizoid, which meshes extremely well with autism as they like talking about things instead of feelings, and don’t touch you. All my good friends were autistic.

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Every other sunday night I go to bed hungry because my neighbourhood's businesses close early and I don't have a car to go to the grocery store.

i hate hand flapping, i feel like a retard
>>43383852
schizoids are cool. i think you should hang out.
>>43383944
is there no way to get food ready the day before? that really sucks

>>43384451
try to transition to another stim. I do like a finger tapping thing now which is easier to hide. if I really need to I can use my tongue and toes

>>43385413
>try to transition to another stim. I do like a finger tapping thing now which is easier to hide. if I really need to I can use my tongue and toes
its hard though because it feels overwhelming and small movements dont get it out as fast

I am literally done with noise sensitivity. I couldn't even make it to midday at work today. As soon as something triggers it, everything starts triggering it. The world is so fucking loud.

>>43385458
You ever go into somewhere truly quiet at the end of the day and it feels like a resident evil safe room?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pZV3UPmXI4

>>43385464
I think that's part of my issue, I don't really have anywhere that's truly quiet. My flat is full of noisy machines and all of my neighbors are dog/motorbike/power tool enthusiasts. I'm just not getting a proper chance to recharge.

>>43354669
+ on ndgen

>>43385498
yeah that sounds like literal hell. have you tried noise cancelling headphones?

>>43357371
I have exactly the same issue on the voice thing, it's so difficult.
I also have the interruption thing, but I'm a meek ass faggot so it's not exactly world shattering

>>43357394
same :( been in bed for pretty much the last 36 hours, nice weekend

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>>43385567
meek ass faggots rise up!

>>43385437
true. I still do flapping at home sometimes. I also started doing this weird full body jerk or sometimes just shoulder but it's like a reflex kinda. almost scary desu

>>43385554
I have tried looking them up to see how expensive they are, and I don't really understand what I'm looking for anyway. QRD?

JFC I just slept for 4 hours, this shit is exhausting.

Bump
Please include a better QOTT in future threads.

>>43386837
active noise cancelation is what you are looking for. Used Bose quiet comfort is a good bet

>>43388727
Do I have to actually be listening to music to make them work? Or can I just use them to make the world quieter?

>>43388761
they work without music. you might just want to try foam earplugs tho.

>>43388949
Foam earplugs are the worst option.
Plugging your ears saves you from the noise in the short term, at the cost of increased hearing sensivivity once you take the plugs out.
I learned this the hard way.

>>43385498
i used to be more sensitive to noise because i grew up in suburbia where there isn't much noise but then i moved to a major city and the noise became normal because there was so much consistent noise that accepting the new normal allowed me to not fixate on it like i used to, you basically don't have a choice, you either fixate on it until you sleep or you don't fixate on it until you sleep, either way you will fall asleep if you are tired if there is noise or not

>>43389450
well anything that is noise cancelling would do that. maybe they should just get a noise machine