It has been a good year since I haven't been here, nor on this site in general, but certain thought keeps popping in my head no matter how much I try to forget it. To put the story in simple terms, after I turned 17, and after years of feverish misogyny (spent way too much time on r9k), I came to the scary realization that I might like the idea of being a guy. That I didn't feel like I fit in on the female role, not because women were stupid or any other bullshit I believed, but because I just felt so intensely alienated from them. The thought of maybe being trans scared me too much to consider it further, since I was becoming borderline obsessive with tales of trans men's transitioning journey and the effects of testosterone, so I buried it all deep and decided to forget about it.But it continued to keep invading my mind every few months to this day, 3 years later. I still feel some sort of affinity towards trans men. But I never felt gender dysphoria, per say. I've always felt dull towards my body, or positive over a thing or two. Like, it's cool that I have a fat ass and a curvy body, but it also kind of sucks that I've always preferred to imagine it in a more blocky, flat shape. I don't know if I've been poisoned by misogyny, I don't exactly mind being a woman, but the thought of being a passing guy is welcome too. I don't understand it.
seems like an edge case. if you're not super unhappy i'd hold back for a while and get some therapy to explore these feelings
>>43377754That's what I've been thinking about. I've tried some therapy esque places to get help, but they always ended up pissing me off because the therapists sound... Condescending. So I defaulted to the "thug it out" mentality. If I go to actual therapy and I bring this up to them, will the therapist have a black and white mentality about this and just tell me to try T or dismiss it entirely?
>>43377809It's hard to know cause each therapist can be different. I honestly get why you're frustrated. If it's outside of their range of knowledge they'd hopefully refer you to somebody else.
Story of my life with the misogyny shit. had toxic masculinity (?) to an extent HaBut I am also >>43371055Therapy didn't really help me much, but it wasn't circled around gender identity I think, I can't recall any sessions but one or two, barely. I was preteen when I was in and out of wards and around those professionals. I do suggest trying to search for one that'll help you sort your thoughts out a bit, and I understand that it can be hard to push yourself to talk, I still see it as 'gay' or IDK just inner thoughts. Maybe try requesting a male therapist? They had to for me back then because I simply wouldn't listen to the females and would get physical if I outbursted cause I am a retard.
>>43377736>Be awkward, friendless teenager>Likely autistic >Spend time on incel imageboard instead of self improvement >Go down rabbit hole of hatred for (fill in the blank) provided by other incels>Realize OH WAIT im an outcast >What to do, what to do? >I KNOW, I THINK I'LL WRAP MY IDENTITY IN TRANS SHIT
>>43379314Not OP and I don't have much to add but your story is nearly identical to what happened to me as well.
>>43377736i will solve your dilemma in one messageget on t, simple asthe sooner you get on it the better you will pass in the long term
>>43377736whatever you do don't transition. it's not worth it. you should try to infect your brain with stuff in the opposite direction. browse lolcow and just become a radfem
