>be me, 37 yo nobody>have wife whose presence erodes my will to live with each passing moment>children that, despite having done nothing wrong, I cannot bring myself to love no matter what I do>job that pays like shit, doesn't fufill me, and is probably going to be replaced by ai within the decade>No friends who actually know me beyond the most surface level >extended family are either deranged trump people or religious fanatics or both>genuinely considering getting addicted to gambling or having an affair just to feel an emotion>spend most of my time thinking about Mikey>we used to talk every single day >he was a musician, and he genuinely wanted to be a Rockstar >that was his only plan for life, no backups>he moved to Chicago years ago>last I ever saw of him>hear he's doing well, playing small gigs in various places>try happy for him but I can't >I miss him so fucking much>i miss our conversations>i miss the way he looked at me>I miss listening to him play>I miss the sound of his voice>I miss the feeling of his his breath on the back of my neck>I miss the way he held me in the afterglow>I miss the smell of his sweat mixed with mine>constantly dream of him coming to save me from my life>fantasize often about how things would be different if I'd had gone with him>still have his number saved in my phone>stare at it for hours, my finger hovering over the call buttonIdk how much longer I can keep going on like this. I fought so fucking hard to be normal but I just can't.
You should probably divorce your soul sucking wife first, and THEN have your midlife bisexual crisis. You might actually still like women, and it's just your wife that's the problem.
>>43393886It's not her. She's not even mean or nagging. She just grates on me. Every mannarism she had that I once found endearing now just makes my blood boil. I used to genuinely enjoy her company, though I was never really all that sexually or romantically attracted to her. I thought that I could love her If I tried. I thought If I tried hard enough I could be normal.
>>43394007I should have just went with him
>>43393867Ur cooked. Just rope atp.
>>43393867get off 4chan dad!!
>>43393867Call him up, find out where he is, show up to his place in the dead of night and and run away with him. Not like you have anything to lose.
>>43394007it's over, kys
>>43394007Normalfags who settle deserve their misery. Little else brings me as much schadenfraude
>>43393867if you can find a way to love life again never stop spreading the story of the misery that being closeted/repressed gave you, the closeted and repressed need to be toldAlso genuinely just walk out and start dating men, you wont find your lost love but you might find a new oneyou dont owe anything to your wife, you do owe some fatherhood to your kids but if being around your wife and not living as who you really are is killing you this much I cant imagine your parenting is holding upstressed parents arent good parents
>>43393867It's not too late for you. You owe your children your parenthood, but that doesn't mean you have to keep living with your wife. Divorce her, coparent, and start dating men again. I think the chances of you getting back with musician boy are pretty slim but that doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to this mess.Also like >>43394956 said you will be a much better parent if you're able to actually enjoy life, if you're staying with her out of some idea of their best interests you're doing them a disservice
>>43393867aww:(
Holy shit can you imagine being a kid and this is your dad? Posting TADG images and yearning about being creampied on 4chan? This is why nobody should ever date bisexuals. Ever. For any reason.You could have avoided all of this if you weren't a coward. Now you're going to fuck up your children's lives for hedonistic pleasure. Kill yourself. Sincerely.
>>43395030I think I'm gonna talk with her in the morning
>>43396932Wishing you the best! I hope it goes well, I know it's not an easy thing to do but I think it's for the best.Do you know roughly what you want to say? How do you think she'll take it?
>>43393867how old are the kids?
>>43397006I think she already knows at least in part. She's always been an observant woman. I think ill just be blunt and direct. Pussyfooting around the topic is only gonna make shit harder. Idk how exactly she'll take it. I can't imagine anybody taking that information well.
>>43395282There are mothers thinking the same thing, and fathers thinking the same towards women. Do not be homophobic.
>>433976395&3, both girls.
>>43398507nta Better now than later, for sure. Not even conscious yet, ha. Don't bail out on them, though, not that it seems like you plan to.You deserve to be happy and It's never too late. I hope the talk goes well, along with the rest of your days.
>>43398499I think directness is a good choice here. It might be good to write out more or less what you want to say beforehand, or like bulletpoints or something. Not even to read it off or anything but just to get all your thoughts organized. I don't if you like to do that sort of thing.I hope you update us with how it goes! It's a rough situation but I'm rooting for you.
>>43395282But this is only a significant issue in closeted bisexuals, who are closeted usually because of people like you who hate them. Not to mention that straight people do almost the exact same thing at a higher rate.
>>43398778had the conversation. I'll make an update post later today.
>>43400041TL;DR: how did it go? Two words maximum.
>>43400072it went both horribly, and about as well as it could have, if that explains anything.
i could have easily been in op's shoes if i didn't pull out. yes i'm a bottom, the urge is inescapable, it. will. never. go. away.at least op had someone special, i never had someone like that.
>>43400041Link the post when you do please I don’t feel like hunting for it
>>43400379here's the post.>>43401181
