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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

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>>43412852
A beautiful answer!
>I try to ask how they feel every time I talk to my friends because I do care.
And it sounds like you are doing your best to achieve exactly that already. How do you feel about yourself, Anon?
>>43414330
>I do have anger issues.
Are they a recent development? Can you pin the circumstances where your anger flares up?
>>43418908
>I'm fine now it was just an annoying cycle
Oh, sorry to hear!
>>43419427
Heya, Farmcat! Don't think we've met before.
>So I’m making progress with people.
Wonderful news, Anon! Out of curiosity, did you post your own art?
>I have too much religious trauma to date somebody who is religious
I 100% understand that. Usually, in such cases, the best you can hope for is someone who does not take his faith too seriously. Without a laissez-faire attitude to their faith even I struggle to really open up to a person.
>>43426764
>I'm so afraid of being boring, not interesting, or otherwise not fun to be around.
>In a romantic or sexual situation I'm also afraid of not being physically attractive to the other party in addition to the other issues.
These are very universal issues, and if you want I can try pick your brain on either front there. Frankly, with a bit of care this would even be amazing FAQ material..
That said, the way that you cope with them is extreme and I do think you are in need of help. We do have some rudimentary things on AvPD, and we have a book on adult attachment taking avoidant attachment styles into account as well. We have a couple Youtube channels that might be of interest to you too, see Heidi Piebe in the resources for example.
>what the hell can I do?
>I have zero access to healthcare and therapy is not available.
>Where can I find a friend who will take it easy on me? I live in the sticks.
>I'm tired of looking at computer screens.
Within those parameters the first question that comes to mind is your mobility, because your ability to travel or move could make this a whole lot easier.

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>>43427228
Oh? Has it been going on for a while?
>>43428045
>that just makes the initial befriending people step borderline impossible in my head.
One key thing when building a friendship is expressing mutual enjoyment in one another. In other words, if you struggle to talk about yourself, how about letting people tell you about their interests? Then you can use their experiences to compare and contrast, giving them a glimpse into your inner world!
>i have friends but they're all about to move out because they're graduating.
First of all, do get their contacts. This is important. I know screen time is not the best thing but keep in touch, it might save you medium term.
>conversations have a purpose and i don't speak unless i can't add anything to it.
Let me try to flip the script here: would you expect other people to have utility when speaking to you? One very important aspect with these things is to spend time to critically inspect "double standards" of that sort.
>>43428179
>I am so tired of feeling like that
Hm, I understand. You feel like you didn't develop as a person, but especially then it might be important to journal and critically pick apart what it is that is unresolved within you for this long. But to me it seems your big issues are on the outside.
>I will find reason to not do it:
Yes, self deception is a huge issue with it. The issue is: you will not escape this without discomfort. One thing you will find is that, unfortunately, discomfort will in all of this be a compass for you to point to progress. You will have to unlearn some things, and it will take you to do things you do not "want", even though you do want their outcome.
>Along that area, but I really, really, really, can't imagine concrete steps I could do it.
I think I am getting a sense of why now, yeah. You want to have a space of respite, and frankly you need it. I think your sense of progress might be off, yes. Should we try make a checklist?

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>>43433419
>in a "it'd be way too humiliating" way
Let me try an analogy: think of a gynecologist. Being a bit cheeky one could say his job is to look at pussy all day. Shrinks are gynecologists of the mind; what is your most personal, intimate experiences is their bread and butter.
>yes but they aren't cringe about it like I am
What makes you cringe about it? Try critically examining it.
>either way i shouldn't compare myself to others
I get it on some level but from what I have seen a lot of research on porn addiction suggests that there seems no correlation between people who self report to have it and those that don't. It's more a matter of that those that self report seem to struggle with guilt over doing it. it's the only reason I prod at all in this direction, but it might be worth investigating an entirely different angle: do you masturbate to cope with things a lot? Stress, perhaps?
>>43435278
>The TL:DR is just "I don't care, I'm learning things anyway"
Probably for the best, Navy. Wishing you all the best, not just with the career aspects but also the surgery stuff. As for stress eating, one thing that is of course worth keeping in mind is whether it is really all that maladaptive or just a sign of there being too many stressors.
>>43437747
>please talk me out of spending money for a phone I will throw away
If your phone has two SIM slots you can forego the need for a second phone entirely, lest I am mistaken.
>>43447020
Wishing you all the best, Anon!
>>43448588
>It's very hard to do that.
It is, it really is. None of this shit is simple, it's painful even.
>Could that be part of the reason for me self-isolating
Chances are that is the case yeah. Look into shame spirals, it FUCKS people.

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>>43449115
Congrats, Panty! I recently got myself some kitchen equip I was lacking at my apartment as well, in particular a silicone brush. I also finally got my rice cooker back, I had it in a box that stayed with someone in the town I lived in last year.
>>43450757
>has anyone here dealt with this?
Yes, I did. My body is covered in stretch mark scarring because not only was I overweight I also have weak connective tissue in general it seems. A lot of it has faded by now and I lost a fair amount of weight. I don't think of them anymore, and honestly one of the things that helped me a lot there was external reassurance from lovers.
>>43451487
One in my experience very useful point of view is to remind yourself that you ultimately wanna be feel attractive, and what is and isn't is not your department. Someone can't be wrong finding you attractive, it's their call to make. So if they do, all you gotta do is dwell on it.
>>43452550
>I've finally accepted that I might be a transgirl
Congrats, Anon!
>Where could I get decent clothing inspo/advice for "male" clothing thats kinda feminine?
>Not brave enough to jump straight into skirts in public.
Sadly /sig/ doesn't have many /fa/ resources, though I'd love for some tranners to chime in there, since I'm drawing a blank.
>>43455637
>I had hope for a couple of weeks, but now I'm going back to the person I am.
The familiarity of misery is a trap, Anon. Knowing that does not help, I understand as much.
Tell me what made you retreat though, try help us understand.

*paws at you* hai
*paws at you* hai
*paws at you* hai
*paws at you* hai

Should I actually go to a therapist? I feel like he'd call me a whiny retard.

>>43456176
I love the stop tech. Turns a reaction into a better-deliberated response. Practices the important skills that create better responses over time. I'll practice it tomorrow. Thank you OP

>>43457502
try it. if he can't build rapport with you and make you feel not-dismissed, he's not a good match for you. most therapees say it can take a few therapists until you find one that's a good match - it's a natural part of the process, and good for expectation management to have that in mind
you want someone that doesn't feel like a dismissive privileged normgroid, but doesn't overvalidate you either. comfort and soothe sure, and can also come down to your level of disability, and work *with* you (as opposed to being like an uncaring boss giving you too-hard or useless assignments) to give you the tools and confidence to experiment and find which changes actually help you.

I will be following up on previous posts tomorrow, once I finish my tasks I will also do a small update.

I am slowly crawling out of my failures.

pg7
hang in there, baby

>>43456263
>If your phone has two SIM slots you can forego the need for a second phone entirely, lest I am mistaken.
I need two more SIM slots.

>>43456293
>Yes, I did. My body is covered in stretch mark scarring...
how well does it fade? its one of my biggest insecurities and im genuinely considering laser/needling even tho neither gets rid of it fully. i just miss the way my body used to be and to know it can't be that way again makes me want to rope

I asked my crush out successfully, I wore a sports bra for the first time, I've been trying to eat food everyday, I've been taking trash out of my room, I've been going outside, I made a really good friend online a month ago.

I'm still mentally ill and a neet and living with my parents (18) and a tranny, but holy shit, I'm doing really okay for right now?? I'm sorry for bragposting

Bump

>>43456293
>Congrats, Anon!
Thank you!
>/sig/ doesn't have many /fa/ resources
Alright, I'm just going to re-ask this thread.
Where could I get decent clothing inspo/advice for male clothing thats kinda feminine? Not ready for skirts just yet but still want to experiment publicly with these new trans feelings I have.

>>43456263
>gynecologist
I get it, but I think the difference is that there's no moral weight involved when examining a body part compared to dealing with a shameful behavior (masturbation isn't shameful in itself but i think being a porn addict is very bad)
>What makes you cringe about it? Try critically examining it.
the way it escalated into becoming one of the, if not the biggest part of my life
>do you masturbate to cope with things a lot? Stress, perhaps?
sort of, but not really
I've used negative feelings like stress as an excuse to masturbate many times but desu I just did it because it felt good in the moment, regardless of how I felt
sorry if i sound dismissive but that's how i feel about it

>>43461560
Good job anon! Those aren’t small things, you’re really making improvements.

asgeagheg 2nd FFS consult I am awaiting a quote.
Also I hit legs the other day and for some reason it's only caught up with me 2 days later.
>>43457392
*paws back at you*
>>43463128
>advice for male clothing thats kinda feminine
You can straight up buy and wear like womens jeans, flannel, etc and no one will notice.
I mean, it's a weird area for me because I don't connect my dysphoria to what I wear at all, but you can just buy "women's" clothing if that's a thing for you.
Otherwise turtleneck under a shirt/jumper is a pretty NB fit.
If you can tolerate yaoi I think Julieeggs character designs offer some decent inspo

>>43415950
>>43445095
I am starting to narrow down my options:
>English Teacher/tutor
>Virtual Assistant
>IT Assistant
>Programmer/Coder

this weather is hell for my sinuses

>>43463903
mreaow :3

real question, but what is stopping you all from blowing your head off?

>>43465805
meds mostly

>>43465805
>i fear hell
>family would be sad, probably
>family 'needs' me
>the people that make life so shite must be punished somehow

None of these are decent reasons really, I'm too twisted to go back.

Looking for work again.

Will stick with online gigs and teaching for now, since tech seems to be beyond my grasp right now.

>>43467842
Tech is crashing and burning anyway

>>43467850
Any field that techies can escape to or climb up to?

i hate being addicted to procrastination

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>>43456163
I’m trying 2 be less apologetic and stand up for myself and treat myself like I want my friends to be treated and this graph has generally helped, it doesn’t remove the base assumption that i should apologize for being but it helps

Hoping this helps escape chronic self loathing a bit or enough to start working on that after this is internalized

>>43469342
You do realize how gay this is? You're so pathetic that you made a list on how not to be pathetic.

>>43469201
It's cause you're afraid of pain and failure. Plus you lack any internal reflection cause you don't hate procrastination but what is behind thing you keep delaying.
>>43465805
Nothing

>>43469366
I have chronic self loathing and want to get better because indulging doesn’t help, and so I found a list of bad behaviors that are more easy to compartmentalize and catch myself to discourage in the future

>>43456163
Self improvment is easy. The steps are all out there. hell, it's been streamlined with chatgpt and AI. all the guides on muscle building and self help and self improvement already exist. people just need to take that first step and do something. but most never will

>>43465805
I don't have a gun.

>>43469566
In order to exert effort towards an aim, one first has to sincerely believe it possible. If one's brain doesn't sincerely believe improvement is possible, one won't be able to execute on some process, even if it's streamlined and easy.

bump

>>43470234
damn, me neither

>>43468192
Yes. NEETdom. Literally everything will be automated in like ten years at most, and the few fields that won't be will be so overrun that they might as well be. Save yourself the trouble and try to hold out until then (welfare, mooching off family, etc)

I hate my fucking life.

>>43473756
I hate your life too, dude.

Been a bit since I last posted. Think I forgot to reply to /sig/ anon. I am very close to finishing uni and I finally got a job interview. Guy wanted me to schedule on very short notice, and school has been eating my time lately due to group work and shitty teammates. The interviewer sends me an email less than 24 hours before the interview on a sunday night, confirming that a time I gave him was good. I immediately freak out and make all the preparations to take the call. Studied as best I could given the incredibly short notice and I was not prepared for either portion of the interview; I have horrible spotlight anxiety in these scenarios. This always happens, but I was unable to show my technical prowess or even remember the broader points of my resume and it made me seem like an imbecile. The interviewer kept interrupting because he felt I was rambling or perhaps he felt like he heard enough. Beyond that, I was being rushed and he started out without any pleasantries or even an introduction. I knew it was going to be a short interview, but I did not expect to get rushed. Attempting to get a word in was impossible. Even asking for concrete details about the company was a crapshoot. What research I did told me essentially nothing, and he couldn't even tell me what I would be working on, with who, etc. Did I fucking dodge a bullet by not being prepared? I hate this corporate humiliation ritual. I'm not built for these fucking interactions. I don't even seem to have a justification for my existence.

been a while since i posted but life updates almost done with another semester finals week left. on the health side of things cut down a bit more weight i'm thinking of starting bodyweight exercises after finals. uni stuff has been pretty good minus the group project disaster, luckily my prof likes me enough to not let any possible group issues ruin my grade. i've been talking to people more, nothing romantic but just talking more. i've been getting more comfortable talking to people. i don't sit in silence and run through all possible branches of the conversation in my head before speaking up. i still have nights where i feel lonely but it too shall pass.

>>43475365
>group work and shitty teammates
same twin same, shit has been so bad. i swear I can't deal with some people like THEY'RE GROWN ASS ADULTS ACTING LIKE KIDS AND THROWING TANTRUMS. unfortunately the job market is that bad and people taking interviews have been giga unreasonable :( and yeah i think you did dodge a bullet there.

as always love you /sig/mas <3 take care and have an amazing day! sending virtual hugs and kisses ⊂((・▽・))⊃

why cant i just have a normal life, i dont even want a family life just leave me be

I don't know what to do anymore.

Everything is a mess and I can't fix it.