>Captain two-peg tell me boat name "Zubyanka" and she carry pigmeal to Copenhagen. I try explain I suffer serious "Balticophobia" and cannot enter Baltic sea but Captain chortle and clap on back, causing me propel vomit. Zubyanka putts merrily two days into wretched Baltic sea and I distract myself with pickpocketing Captain two-peg and parrot-lady until they have no belongings remain. I then attempt pickpocket second horrible child but he very fast and so catch me and the three children string me up with leather from the mast, causing my treasure to fall out pocket onto the deck, as do my tears.

This, to me (a non-Russian), is fun and dreamy and not only in a rambunctious pastiche-y sort of way and I wish to read the continuation.

Well done, oh pee.

>Two day and night I hang like bat from Zubyanka's mast, before crew discovers forgiveness and cut me down. Thencefore I mince backwards to cabin and sulk happily until parrot-lady promises "I shall do anything to make you forgive us." I tell her what is need. Therefore Captain two-peg and Lady parrot and three horrible children proceed to, as was my wish, pile their every possession in middle of my room to satisfy my desire for muchness. The work take three day, and consumes all objects on the ship, until the pile fills entire room, and big holes are taken from the ship. To our surprise the ship sinks because of big holes taken for treasure-pile, and we are thrown into the wretched Baltic sea, whose water is like shit after too much bad wine.

>>24635692
spasiba

keep going snoopy

>>24634048
They should have copied Dune and made Jabba the god emperor

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>>24633559
>“Is that Luke drinking hot chocolate?”
>”Is that Luke’s clone with a SECOND U in his name? A second fucking U?! I’m going insane!”

People have been seething about that second U and Luke sipping hot chocolate longer than I’ve been alive. Kek

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>>24636010
They took this from you. Sith Lords hating hot chocolate is no longer canon because of Disney.

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>get your Thrawn trilogy on film
>it's Filoni Thrawn

>>24634261
Yeah. When they brought back Luke, Leia, and Han and made them the most important characters in the new trilogy I knew it was going to be bad. As if the entire universe is centered around these three people.

>>24635398
Yes goy you too can imagine you‘re a traitor to your people.

>>24634945
I remember being an avid reader at a fairly young age and eventually encountered the worst teacher that killed my interest in it for a long time. Her lazy ass would be in a pissy mood and just tell everyone to be quiet and read some shitty assigned book the whole period. Funny enough, years later she moved into my neighborhood and I would throw rocks at her house and nigger knock really late at night just to fuck her.

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>>24634945
Yeah, but unfortunately I didn't have a decent teacher like you. For mine they were usually just working through the curriculum as required. We never dug deeper into it. A handful of times I recall in middle school we were meant to go over The Illiad and our lazy hippy teacher just played Troy (2004) for us.

A handful of times I remember liking certain texts enough to ask some students around me what they thought, but I was usually met with a shrug so just kept to myself about it.

But overall I am thankful for the classes given to us even if they were poorly executed. It gave me the material at least to enjoy through my own efforts.
>>24635653
I have a vivid memory that relates to this and sums up public education.

We were talking about WW2, the teacher let some footage of Hitler during speeches and other things play, kept remarking how "creepy" Hitler was and how he was a psychopath that knew looking into the camera would unnerve people (it just looked like he was looking at who was recording him like anyone else does).

After a few minutes and her saying some more trite, a student asked her WHY Hitler did all that he did.

She looked at him and said without a hint of irony, "because he was evil".


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

I spent a lot of elementary school reading animorphs during class truth be told.

>>24634945
In 7th and 8th grade, the curriculum was decent but our teacher pretty much didn’t care. I remember the stuff we read in class.

>Time machine of hg wells
>Sherlock Holmes
>A midsummer nights dream

>>24635056
>Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow.
Fuck me that looks stupid

>>24635056
Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase

read the previous two in the rat tetralogy

>>24635056
Non-Stop by Brian Aldiss. It's good, lots of very stand out scenes.

70 pages into A Confederacy of Dunces. Everybody in this book is a fucking fruit loop.

Slaughterhouse Five on kindle, Notes from the Underground physically, Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson on audiobook

>>24635536
Science fiction isn’t about science

>>24635808
The movie is more interesting

What about an understanding of speculation or the speculative arts in general.

The time machine

>>24635536
Neither did Ray Brabury.

>>24629879
The manuscript got lost in his fat folds

>>24629879
Him not working on it means he makes progress at 0% per/t for any given value of t

>>24633464
Yeah, I think this is it. Honestly, he should just write in fan ideas. All the discussions and videos on the fucking book have made more interesting lore/end points then he could have likely thought up by now lmao.

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>>24633464
Why not just release two books at once with two different timelines like Pokemon?

>>24633464
Based on the foreshadowing in the books:
Tyrion and Cersei are going to kill each other, maybe with Arya's involvement. Jaime won't die
The Others will kidnap Jon and make him their Night King, in exchange for leaving the realm
Bran becomes king because he's Jon's younger brother and he can use magic to kill anyone that defies him
Daenerys gets murdered by Daario who is actually Euron's alter ego or something

>>24634841
Just listen to him talk for 5 minutes and you will get it.

Unfortunately for him I scored 400 on the IQ test I took in juvenile hall, and I say solipsism is correct. (I was only sent there because my bitch teacher was trying to suppress my Waco theory.)

>>24634561
IQ does not even exist. To believe in it is the ultimate sign of midwittery. Yes, this guys IQ is likely bigger than Shakespeares had he ever the patience for such a test

>>24635302
Theistic conclusions aren't invalidated by someone else hearing and understanding them, Anon. Solipsism is on an entirely different plane of idiocy, like Egoism, where the very act of voicing them proves that the person does not actually believe them.

G e moore does spend a while proving the existence of a hand.

>>24635234
Wow, that's a lot.
TIL that the Wizard Of Oz has apparently entered the public domain:
https://pdsh.fandom.com/wiki/Dorothy_Gale

>>24635498
"As soon as I shove this hot poker up my ass, I'm going to rip my dick off!" the Pope shouted to a roomful of stunned cardinals.

>>24636015
I don't say this very often about writing samples posted here, but... I actually enjoyed reading that. If you don't have a religious objection to Reddit, consider posting that on r/shortscarystories; at 473 words, it'll conform to the rules.

>>24635498
Under the towering bipedal military machine, Lawrence dozed off without regard. The black beret he wore shielded his face from the blistering raw air. His feet were propped up by stacked crates, his hands snugly beneath his pits.

>>24631955
Seven Deadly Literary Icks
>He simple past verbed, comma, gerunding, elaborating the simple past. The author repeated this sentence structure, rewriting it again and again on each page. He never deviated, doing it thousands of times. It got annoying swiftly, grating on the readers nerves.
>"Dialog tags like this," he said, actioning adverbly. "It's very similar to the last pet peeve," he added, noticing an annoying similarity.
>Writing everything literally. Here are the events in the novel. They unfold in this order. The hero did this. Then this happened. Nothing ever went on below the surface. Sometimes a metaphor is used, but it is a literal metaphor, like a color that looks like a thing which is that exact color. Nothing artistic is ever going to happen. When someone begins flying, you can be sure they are literally flying, and not an artistic liberty imaginative flying.
>Cliches. Hot tears rolling down faces. Pools of red. The good news... the bad news... Popped the question.
>Loooong conversations. Especially conversations that exist merely to tell the reader stuff instead of writing a scene conveying the same information. "As you know your mother and I love you, because we just said so right now. Now the writer doesnt have to convey that love through actual story telling."
>More detail = better prose. (Wrong.) Ergo, run on sentences describing several things in excruciating detail = the best prose. In fact, why dont we start the story with a horrible run on sentence packed to burst with unnecessary detail?
>My world is so huge an expansive it needs to be told through seven books. It's just that epic. No it doesnt. A novella like Heart of Darkness has better story, prose, characters, themes, and "world building" packed into its 60 pages than all the books of Wheel of Time and Game of Thrones put together.

>>24635823
I hope you also like getting banned for trolling shit

>>24635823
There's only one way to find out. Don't let your dreams be memes.

>>24636060
jannies aint shit just hide the low iq threads

>"the shards" by bret easton ellis

>>24635823
No because they don't like touching Your pp. They like touching Their pp. You need to write a book about touching their pp.

>>24635270
its because he drew it, dunce

>>24635416
What does that have to do with anything, retard?

I literally use pen and paper and have stacks of my diary desus. Why am I even in this thread?

>>24636029
it says harvey pekar tho

>>24636057
he wrote it, crumb drew it

>>24635115
Turnus was retarded and should have given up.

>>24635115
Didn't he die? He sounds like a retard.

>>24635159
Because he's pius Aeneas. Carrying his father on his back is symbolic of more than the literal sense. It also rhymes with the opening of book 1, how he carried the gods to Latium.

Real question though, why does Virgil have Aeneas ascend from the underworld through the Ivory Gate?

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>>24635485
It's also because Virgil's pessimism allows him to show how all the Pagan wisdom and virtue one can have is insufficient to fulfill the human heart's desire for an infinite Good. In the end, Limbo is still Hell, and that's the best possible outcome without the theological virtues of hope, faith, and love. That is why hopeless Virgil is damned, but Cato the Younger, who dies for something beyond finite human life gets to Purgatory, or why pious Ripheus, Virgil's Trojan side character, gets to Paradise.

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>>24636144
https://www.tertullian.org/fathers/porphyry_cave_of_nymphs_02_translation.htm

>>24633443
>White men watching
Why are they like this

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An instant classic.

>>24633494
They were introduced and shilled by jews though
>T. Mexican

>>24635603
intellectual curiosity

Lawrence Block wrote smut too.

>>24621732
typical of nihilistic british midwittery.
every one of these faggots is an accidental product of David Hume & Henry VIII

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>>24636071
Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman et al...
They're all the same glib cynical deconstructionist assholes.

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>>24636082
I hope the loss of civilization was worth the keks

>>24636082
>>24636082
White English people are worthless. What can they do but die?

>>24631595
Same. I'm really glad for that initial push into thinking about the 'big questions' in a way, because by 20, I had my own highly nuanced religious and philosophical views. Unlike Adams, I suppose.

>>24634944
I bought a shit one from argos which was at least real wood, so when it turned out they hadn't cut anything so it would square, I could make my own design out of it.

>>24634944
I have that exact shelf and it's fine.

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>>24634768
>table and chair height do matter
>oak vs teak the perpetual sexual vs sensual
>atmospheric, nostalgic, and escapist peices are not exempt from modernity
>electric circuits are analytic
>can't have a system for objects without paradoxes and contradictions, sometimes you have to just leave the script behind
>infinite loops included but you technically leave the system at that point
>bookshelves are addressed but he did have some weird stipulations on them

>>24634944
Learn some basic carpentry and woodworking skills and construct one yourself. A basic bookshelf is just a bunch of rectangular prisms.

>>24634747
No. I dont waste space on paper, i read everything on kindle.

>>24634934
>to see women as objects that want to be degraded, that secretly desire to be hit and dominated.
but that's accurate. they do want that, and it's barely even a "secret." a random female-written romance novel is far, far more likely to explicitly contain fetishized concepts of domination and lack of consent than a random male-directed porn video off of pornhub. furthermore women objectify themselves before anybody else even gets a chance: they eroticize themselves as objects of desire. men wonder why women take so long to get ready before a date etc and it's because watching themselves all dolled up in the mirror is a quasi-masturbatory act. they're getting themselves horny thinking about how horny they will make a man. but it's more than arousal, it's how they acquire identity. "what am i? i am the one he likes." it must be a relief compared to the burden of being human.

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>>24634934
>You think you're just clicking on some pi-ACK!?

>>24634934
>But you're not, you're plugging yourself into a machine that was literally built to turn women into walking holes and punching bags.
Oh, cool! I didn't realize that by jacking it I was automatically achieving my ideological aims as well. In fact, I was worried that those manosphere kniggas with the taoist semen retention ideology might have a point! Fantastic, great news!

>>24635090
>sex was the second commodity after grain
Sex was a commodity long before we started growing food.

Civilization is fucked up too as well just as. Think of that grain or the hierarchy or division of labor that allowed the grain to be grown.