>>23309542
Are you working on one yourself, OP?

Wouldn't publishing a NEET novel be an oxymoron? The ultimate NEET novel ought to be an unedited rigmarole found in some old drawer of an unpublished author who had no proper literary career.

>>23309604
But being consistent in outlook and lifestyle is also a oxymoron for a NEET.

>>23309542
Does there have to be a great neet novel anon?

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I want to work but I don't want a job.

>>23309542

It's already been done many times so it would have no impact if done again. Think of books like Metamorphosis, or the works of Dostoyevksy.

i've read thousands of neet novels, for intelligence purposes. you're missing the point if you want to see a 'successful neet'. demo maxx and move on.

>>23309825
for me it's the other way around. I really don't want to work but I'd like to be included in some kind of working environment (a job) without having to carry any responsability, never having to fail, be cringe, etc. It would be a bit like going to school again basically, but I have already failed hard at academia so I guess I either go to teach or get fucked.

CHAPTER 1

> wakes up at 1pm

> TV still on from the night before

> gets out of bed

> walk over crusty cum filled socks on the floor to bathroom

> pisses in sink

> checks phone, zero messages from anyone you’ve met in real life

> browse 4chan

> have a wank into a crispy sock to porn where the girl looks a bit like your sister, hurts a bit

> walk to the shop for food, can’t even look up, let alone in the eye of anyone as you pass them

> buy toilet paper, socks and pizzas

> female cashier talks to you but it looks like a physical toll on her very being to put even this minimal effort into interacting with your worthless vessel

> fall in love with her

> walk home, start sniffing and realise you’re getting a nosebleed

> has mental debate whether to stop now and open the toilet paper in the street or wait until you get home

> fear of judgement or perceived ridicule means you wait to get back snd continue sniffing

> cook pizza

> feel a rush of adrenheline as you feel like youve achieved something today

> it lasts 5 minutes, but now you feel you deserve this pizza and a rest after what youve been through today

> eat pizza

> have a wank

> watch some anime

> check phone, no messages

> message mum and sister and a guy you used to work with a few years ago asking how he is

> no reply, online but not read for 3 hours

> fantasises about the cashier and how he would go about getting her number and how happy he’d make her and her him, he just needs a chance, probably got a black boyfriend anyway....the whore, hope she gets aids

> tries to get an early night, so heads to bed at 3am

> lays in bed staring at the ceiling reliving every socially traumatic event and interaction that he blames for making him this way, blames everyone and everything apart from himself

> try to suppress paedophilic thoughts

> fails

>>23310526
CHAPTER 2

> Wake up

> Friday afternoon

> Unemployed and blames his difficulty getting work on every inapplicable social barrier to him but happily settles with blaming institutionalised racism (White but 1/48th Irish)

> Lays in bed and makes a deal with himself that after this wank he has to get up straight away, he agrees

> Doesn’t sit up

> Reaches for toilet paper as socks are too far away

> Rips and places sheets across his torso, lazily covering himself up to his chin

> Wanking without porn out of laziness

> needs extra spicy stimulants as he’s ‘going rogue’

> imagines the cashier making out with his sister

> imagines the cashier being fucked by her imaginary black boyfriend

> cums instantly

> lies there panting, starring at the ceiling scared to think too deeply on why that made him finish so quick

> blocks the thoughts out

> angrily screws up the cummy toilet paper into one big dirty snowball and throws it across the room

> walks to the bathroom to piss

> completely nose-blind to the menagerie of smells that hang in his room

> decides to have a normal productive day

> starting by pissing in the toilet and not the sink for once

> cum-jammed Japs-eye makes piss stream shoot out in two jets

> piss going either side of the bowl onto the floor

> Has to think fast

> chooses the thicker stream and aims that one into the bowl whilst the thinner stream sprays the wall

> damage limitation

> feels smart

> 80% of the piss is on the floor and wall

> tells self that he should have gone in the sink and this is what happens when you try to do the right thing, whats the point

> doesnt wash hands or clean up piss

> Goes back and lies on the bed

> gets a little rush of adrenaline as it feels like he achieved something

> deserves a break and gonna watch some Netflix

> phone buzzes

> its his old workmate replying to his txt yesterday

> gets invited out later for drinks with him and a couple friends

> heart is racing

> has a rush of blood to the head

> types a shakey hand reply agreeing to come

> Puts phone down on the side and stares out the window

>>23310533
keep going, I'm invested

>>23310533
CHAPTER 3

> Instantly regrets agreeing to meet for drinks and runs through all the potential outcomes, best and worst case scenarios for the next hour

> Scared to go, scared to cancel

> Contemplates the potential that this is all a ruse, why did he invite me? Were we ever that close? Why now? What does he want?

> The day passes quickly, too nervous to eat

> Sitting on the edge of my bed, Showered, wank’d and dressed

> been clock watching for an hour waiting for a txt

> Bzzzz *’We’re here mate. In the Nag’s Head, in corner on the big table’*

> Reply *‘Ok cool see ya soon’*

> starts walking

> 30 min walk

> nervous sweat and activity sweat fuse to create a new potent body odour that even I can’t ignore

> See the pub ahead of me, no going back. Mentally riffling through realistic excuses to not go at this late stage

> Knows I can’t get out of it now, no more mental rehearsals in his head. It’s actually happening.

> heart is racing, beating out of my chest

> outside pub, walk up to the doors

> deep breath, runs through every motivational quote that I memorised over the years, just use this as practice, be the best you can be, pretending to be confident looks the same as being confident, nothing matters, we all die and it means nothing so don’t be afraid.

> runs out of motivational life advice quotes

> closes eyes

> puffs cheeks out

> steps forward and pushes right door

> doesn’t move

> pulls right door, nothing

> right door is locked

> pushes left door, heavy door, lean on it to open it

> slowly slides through the half opening like a wet turd

> feels everyone is looking at me, tries to pretend I doesn’t feel the eyes burning into me

> Starts repeating the inspirational quotes ‘Everyone dies, nothing matters, everyone dies nothing matters’

> goes to the bar to order a drink to calm down

> Barman “Yes mate?”

> (Aware of the bar etiquette of before ordering you look around for people that may have been waiting before you that the barman may have missed and letting them go before you)

> points at guy that clearly just got his drink and waiting for change from another barman

> “Wanna serve him first?”

> Barman looks confused “umm....he’s been served”

> “Ha yeah, course mate”

> never said ‘mate’ before

> “What’ll it be?”

> panics and pats the top of the nearest beer tap

> “this one mate, cheers”

> pays and takes a sip

> screws face up

> scan around the large loud room looking for their table

> spots them waving from the other side of the pub

>>23310545
> waves and make a high pitch reflexed “Hey” that if was intended for them, were way too far away to hear

> guy near me looks up and gives me a confused stare thinking I was talking to him

> blocks that out as have bigger mental fish to fry, will process that particular moment later

> everyone dies, nothing matters, everyone dies, nothing matters

> Sees my friend is with another guy and a girl

> now its three people watching me walk towards them and what feels like the whole pub, watching my every movement, they know. I don’t know what exactly, but they all know.

> So self conscious that it feels like I’m manually operating each leg as I walk

> heart beating faster and faster the closer I get

> feeling light headed, feel like fainting

> gets close, want to run away, can’t run away, breathing heavily, panics

> Indicates a ‘1 sec’ signal with finger and takes phone out pocket

> stands 6 feet from their table pretending to be on the phone

> waiting for heart rate to drop

> flashing a closed mouthed half smile and giving a ‘what can ya do?’ face

> angry at self for listening to brain’s social instructions on this one, been nothing but sabotage up until this point so why would now be any different?

> starts to get uncomfortable as I’m clearly not actually talking, just have the phone on my face

> Everyone trying to ignore how weird this is

> Slowly turn my back to the table

> Count down from 3 and put the phone away and approach them

> My friend introduces me straight away to everyone which helped

> that wasn’t too bad, they seem friendly

> I take a seat

> One of them asks “so who was on the phone?”

> ah shit, feel like I’m losing it already

> “Ha No-one....well not no-one, I mean no-one important”

> eye brow twitching

> “Important enough to pick up right then though? ha”

> “ha, yeah”

> Sips drink as eye brow is now noticeably twitching

> all initial attempts by them to lightly joke around to try to alleviate my clear social meltdown were failing

> Decides to just get drunk to get through this

> a few hours pass and about to order my 4th pint, its going well

> contributed to a few conversations, made a few jokes, alcohol is working great

> needed a piss since after pint 1

> Can’t hold it much longer

> didn’t plan on drinking this much

> been Keeping an eye on the traffic flow into the toilet, trying to time is so no-one is in there at the same time

> no-one been in or out for a while

> its either go now or piss yourself

> stand up and tell the table I’ll be back in a sec

> New friend “Going for a piss? I’ll come too, I’m busting”

> screams inside head

> “cool”

> walk into toilet

> 1 cubicle, out of order. and 2 urinals practically touching

> there are no *‘Don’t look at my cock barriers’* .....sorry *‘splash guards’*

> he walks straight up and starts pissing instantly

>>23310551
> look at phone and pretend to txt and look inquisitively at the condom machine to give him enough time to finish

> turns his head “You okay?”

> “yeah, just....checking something”

> hurry the fuck up ahhhhhhhh

> can’t stall any longer

> everyone dies, nothing matters, everyone dies, nothing matters

> approaches urinal

> gets cock out

> stares straight ahead

> why is he still pissing!

> nothing happening, nothing, but how? My stomach is in physical pain from how much piss is in me yet it feels more likely to squirt out my ears than my cock right now

> he has clearly noticed that I’m starring at a blank wall with my cock out and have had zero piss coming from it for the last 2 minutes

> essentially now have become a retard piss storage statue, even I didn’t predict this dire situation for myself this evening

> finally he stops and is washing his hands

> just leave!

> when he finally does, the instant the door closed behind him a lazer beam of piss shot from my body and stayed pissing for what felt like an hour.

> wash hands

> avoids looking in mirror

> whats left of my confidence is hanging by a thread, self delusion about how you look doesn’t stand a chance against the cold reality that a mirror gives you

> walks back to the table

> everyone at the table standing up and putting their coats on and ready to go

> “We’re gonna go mate, was good seeing you again”

> We all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways

> feel quite happy with how it went as a whole, but could be the alcohol numbing my brain

> probably gonna be a lot of unpacking that needs doing, but will deal with that when it comes

> walking home

> get a txt from my friend

> “Hope you had fun, we should do it again soon”

> “yeah definitely! Thanks”

> feels happy

> walks past supermarket

> stops and walks up to the window

> all the lights are off

> stares at the seat the cashier girl usually sits at

> Wait, now I have a reason to engage with the cashier, it’ll be for a reason now

> can ask her to come out with me for drinks with my friend next time, I won’t scare her if I have friends, she will say yes now

> fuck it gonna ask her tomorrow

> everyone dies, nothing matters, everyone dies, nothing matters

> its not the alcohol talking I’m going to do it, definitely

> gets home

> tidies room

> feels exhausted

> gets in bed, tries a pornless wank with a half blood penis

> getting no-where, starts to hurt, gives up

> turns on TV and falls asleep

>>23309542
It already exists and it's called Confederacy of Dunces.

>>23309542
A Rebours already did it, Welcome to the NHK updated it for the modern century. Anyghing more would be derivitive.

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>>23309542
The MC in my book isn't necessarily a NEET, but he is highly neurotic, prone to stress, and borderline autistic. Here's an excerpt:
>Since carrying everything together would be too difficult, I opted instead to bring down the gym bag first and then come back up for the two others, yet before I could even take two steps out of my apartment, I was already visibly shaken as I struggled to put my key in the doorknob, failing two times and dropping it on the third, as if it were a lathery bar of soap too slippery for my hands, because despite going through with my scheme, there was still a voice in the back of my head pleading me not to go forth with this dangerous task. "What are you doing? What are you thinking? Why are you doing this?" These two items - both my troubled mind and failure to lock my door - caused great frustration, to the point where I lashed out in anger, kicking my door, throwing my keys against it, and cursing out loud. “Stupid goddamn thing!” I yelled. I then grabbed my keys off the ground, violently shoved it into the keyhole, and was finally able to lock my blasted thing. Unfortunately, this little tantrum of mine did not go unnoticed, for right at the end of the hallway, I saw that one of my neighbors - a Jewish woman of about sixty - was peering out behind her door with a shocked look on her face, as if she’d seen a bear in the woods. Looking at her, there was no doubt in my mind that she had borne witness to me losing my temper over something so trivial; or perhaps she had seen the gun in waistband as my shirt flew in the air while I abused my front door. Either way, it was not a good situation, and I had to figure out some way to de-escalate things; so, relying on my unshakeable charisma, I calmed down, smiled, and greeted the woman. “Good afternoon…” I waved. A futile effort, as she immediately closed the door without responding - her countenance unaltered. I hoped she wouldn’t report me.

>>23310555
Holy shit keep going this is amazingly accurate. I lived the piss freeze scene so many time holy shit its cringe

>>23310526
>>23310533
>>23310545
>>23310551
>>23310555
please do not double space every line

behead all satans, i never see this book discussed here more seeing as it came from /lit/

Nutsack free fall smut

>>23309542

Confederacy of dunces

>>23309542
Between Kafka and Stoner, why bother.

>>23311113
Lmao you are neurotic. People lose their tempers all the time over the smallest things, its not exactly a remarkable discovery especially to an old woman.

>>23309542
The great neet novel has been written in cum and wiped onto napkins, one goonsesh at a time. It is illegible.

>>23312121
Ignatius was educated, you mongoloid.
Though it doesn’t matter.

>>23310194
don't you think at some point you will have to deal with your fear of failure?

>>23309604
> The ultimate NEET novel ought to be an unedited rigmarole found in some old drawer of an unpublished author who had no proper literary career.
Literally Book of Disquiet.

>>23309542
Notes from the underground

>>23312511
The Underground Man has a stable job and sex with prostitutes. Too normie for a neet.

>>23312385
It's "not IN education," retard, not "not educated." Ignatius, as an unemployed college graduate, is a NEET.

>>23309542
as other itt have said, there are plenty of novels like this, but I don’t think there are any that take place in the internet or smartphone age.

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>>23310551
ok so this would absolutely never happen. the first thing that would have happened is that our MC would be questioned about what he does for work. he would probably stutter something about being between jobs, or he would make up something. the last option would be the more catastrophic since he would be immediately revealed and then be tortured as the table amuses themselves by questioning him. lets say he goes for between jobs.
>brad: what did you do beforethen
>I was <insert soul-crushing wagie job>
>brad: whens that
>brad: that long ago? so you doin nothin then huh? you livin off your mommie
brad: you're on the dole? bloody hell that's where my tax money is going
>rachel: you went to uni then? you dropped out? why'd you do that for? well maybe you should have choosen something different
>deano: you want to go back mate? then what do you want to do
>brad: heard <insert soul-crushing wagie grinder> is hiring they'll take anyway just about my mate liam works in hiring
>rachel: well that's that you should apply!
>deano: having a job to go to is just essential you get to banter with the lads and all
>rachel: so what else you want to do in life c'mon you've gotta have a goal something you dream to aspire to don't you
>deano: hey you always liked computers why don't you pursue something computers mate
>rachel: that's it! we're gonna sort you out lad
>brad: you can't just live off bennies you know
etc

Okay, I thought by "Great NEET Novel" that a NEET makes a really good book from the perspective of the NEET but not necessarily about one. If we're going for a book written about a hikikkomori, then Welcome To The N.H.K. would probably be your "great NEET novel". It's not very good though, it's 4/10 at best because it is very boring. One of the main issues in making this book will be keeping things interesting, because the daily cycle of the character browsing the web, jerking off or being socially embarrassed gets tedious fast.

I released a visual novel about a Hiki that falls in love with a succubus, does that count? He never leaves his house once either

Novel writing is a vocation. You can't be a NEET and write a novel at the same time. The moment you start, you are effectively self-employed.

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>>23312104
>behead all satans

>>23312454
The most dangerous thing about fear of failure is that you can pretty easily figure out a way to eke out a mediocre but comfortable life without ever dealing with it.

>>23309542
I was a NEET from 1983 to 1989, mostly because I could get away with it, enjoyed being idle in suburbia so much that almost everything else looked faintly horrifying to me. I didn't hurt that my dad was a corporate middle-manager who made lawyer or doctor kind of money, and didn't really give a shit about the slight added expense, particularly since I took very nice care of the lawns and gardens, and drove him around where and when he wasn't up to it, and enjoyed doing both very much. (Pretty good conversations in the car with my dad, who was quite a magnificent gossip.) Been a NEET from 2015 to the present, and now live better than I ever have, by a rare and obviously lucky course, chances be damned. Two of my sisters are financial advisors who work in the North Loop, and overall, I live better than either of them, no credit to any effort on my part.

I unironically have a decent idea for NEET novel

>>23312454
Yeah no I've failed once and it was awful I'd rather not face anything ever again

>>23315406
it's interesting that some people live so different lives

>>23310526
> female cashier talks to you but it looks like a physical toll on her very being to put even this minimal effort into interacting with your worthless vessel
> fall in love with her

This is great.

>>23309542
I got about a third of the way through my NEET novel, posted a chapter on here, and you guys told me it was boring and nothing happens, so I ended up shelving it.

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>>23317375
>taking advice from /lit/
Anon...