"AI hack seething" editionPrevious: >>23306393 (Cross-thread)/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ (embed)RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC (embed)Please limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.Simple guides on writing:>[YouTube] Improve your Writing: Show, Not Tell (embed)>[YouTube] George Orwell's 4 Tips For Speaking Clearly (embed)>[YouTube] How to Show, Not Tell: The Complete Writing Guide (embed)Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9STiQ8cCIo0
>>23318810Destroy my hopes and dreams.docs.google.com/document/d/1mxlHPlFCS7eK3H_w34wi8Mg4J69_MazPUmfUaUEWhgs/edit?usp=sharing
>>23318810>the anarcho-syndicalist supports copyright laws nowwhat
>>23318814>docs.google.com/document/d/1mxlHPlFCS7eK3H_w34wi8Mg4J69_MazPUmfUaUEWhgs/edit?usp=sharingGot bored with how tedious your sentences are. You don't need to have every single type of comma in every single sentence.
>>23318877Thanks. I cleaned up the prologue and tried to minimize those longer sentences and general verbosity.
>>23318877>there are not enough commas>there are too many commas
>>23318847he’s a standard-issue boomer democrat these days. it’s sad.
way to screw up the "simple guides on writing" links, OP. maybe you should wait for someone with a teaspoon of competence to bake the bread next time
I don’t like that. please stop it.
>Chomsky: hurr durr AI is like this right now, therefore it will always be like this, there will be no more transformational advancementsIt's almost adorable when senile brainlets try to understand technology. This guy needs a warm blanket, a fluffy cat, and a hot bowl of soup.
>>23318970https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFkSorry about that :/
How many followers do you need for agents to take you seriously?
>>23319000at least i hope you learned from this
>>23319003enough that you're already making a living on patreon bucks and they come crawling to you trying to get a piece of your pie
>>23319107Yeah they do seem outdated in a sense, since every one I've talked to at a convention basically wanted a marketing presence which I thought they and the publisher were supposed to take care of lol
>>23318978You don't understand how machine learning works. Please spend at least 5 minutes researching something before you speak.
>>23319107>>23319112Don't listen to vanity publishers that just want to leech off of you
>>23318810https://archiveofourown.org/works/55132378NightshadeSummary: An eco-terrorist supervillain finds a message that's not in a bottle.Less genre-y than it sounds. My friends said they really liked it but it's possible their warm feelings toward me were influencing their perspective, so feed me your feedback.
After a prologue and 6 chapters, I finally had good enough of a handle on my story to finish the outline of 25 chapters, complete with which character is used for focalization in each (what the common man calls POV)I only need to write 19 more chapters.
>>23319308Further along than me, monkeybro
I have no idea how many chapters my story will be. Probably a hundred. I'm 12 chapters in and that was basically only the introduction, and the real story starts from here.
>>23319322That's too long. Are you trying to write War and Peace or do you have short ass chapters?
>>23319338I try to keep them short and light. 2-3k words.
>>23319361So your novel will be between 200k and 300k words. Do you have any idea how huge that is?
>>23319430I wrote over half a million words last year for other projects
can someone tell me how this reads? As dusk bled into night, the once murmuring city fell into a deep, uneasy silence. Lamplights flickered, casting erratic shadows against the cobblestones, weaving tales of forgotten lore. A chill wind whispered through the narrow alleys, twining around the ancient bricks, each breath laden with the scent of impending rain. Above, the moon, a pale specter in a shroud of scudding clouds, watched over the ghostly streets where not a soul dared tread, save for the night watchman, his steps echoing, a lonely rhythm against the silence of the encroaching dark.
>>23318810>it seeks not to infer brute correlations among data points but to create explanations.This is embarrassing
>>23319722>weaving tales of forgotten loreThis part is too heavyhanded.
>>23319722You're laying it on thicker than yo mama, but I like it
>>23319722where does the story happen?
>>23319754>>23319756>>23319760How does it change your opinion to know that ai wrote it?
>>23319776Couldve guessed AI or prosefag, either one
>>23319216So far all I got was broad picks up a cool book
>>23319776It still remains too heavyhanded, HAL.
>>23319776I don't care, I've accepted long ago that AI does the job when it comes to paragraphs, it's laying a good plot that's tricky for it.
>see chomsky pic>assume this is the leftypol general>it's a shitty writing threaddo better
>>23319776I 100% knew it was AI after reading the first sentence. This is exactly what GPT-4 spits out when I prompt it without stylistic instruction.
>>23319778how about ai and prosefag? I had it fill its context with varied analysis of am excerpt from my writing, then create an "original" paragraph using my "style'.>>23319783How heavy handed do you think my original writing is in comparison?>>23319786totally agreethe excerpt i fed the aiDark was the night, sheafed in lay wayed sheets of falling seas. Surfs rent large over the craggy shore, peaking high and falling deep into the township called placid. Broiling waves cast the shingled slopes of low slung rooves, and skew-laid bricks of well worn grooves, in shining hues of fires and falls. Where down walked the physician, hunched against the tumult and trammel of the rain. His pace brisk, as his face hidden. He marched evidently to war.
>>23319789I gave it tons of style prompting :(
>>23319797cool. but wheres the story?
>>23319806In the proceeding paragraphs. It's an excerpt my man, I'm trying to experiment with with styles with gpt4.D- do you really think its cool?
>>23319797>Dark was the nightLet me stop you right there. Your word order is WONKY.
>>23319822Yeah but is it wonky bad? Wonky weird? Wonky good?
>>23319808Doesnt that defeat the purpose of writing? I mean its not really a personal expression is it
>>23319827Wonky is already a negative, it needs no other qualifiers. Stop using AI. Read more books. Not anime fanfiction, real books.
>>23319842Does it defeat it? My thinking is that it's just another form of writing. It's different, it doesnt replace anything.
>>23319849I wrote that before openai was founded...
>>23319872If you want to be poetic, write poetry
Idk what I'm even trying to say here but it's been a while since i wrote anything and i wanted to give creativity a shot againDON'T BE A SUCKERThe romance of living a poverty stricken, fucked up self indulgent pitty induced 12 to midnight daydream. Coping mechanisms as crutches for fake criples. Psychotic driven vanity of those who lack virtue. Don't be a sucker. Don't believe you are seeking the truth when you are finding a reason to hide from the facts. Fear is the fuel for self sabotage, a masturbatory fantasy of those who wish for the apocalypse so they can no longer hide from their own failures. The romance of misery has been compromised, as it should be. Fasting and not starving. Exercise as a form of self flagellation. Turn to the public and say with a hint of satisfaction "i am suffering " and wait as the applause of the crowd echoes, while a single tear roles down your face. And remember to give a smile so that the world can see that you are in fact, brave. In the name of self proclaimed prophets, who label themselves as hard men in soft times. In the name of so called wise voices put upon pedestals, who speak to a crowd of fools. Don't be a sucker. Don't be a cynic. Don't be a herald of treason in a world that needs reason.
>>23319882>tfw too poetic for prose and too prosaic for poetryI wanna die
>>23319124I understand how machine learning works in more detail than you can possibly imagine. I also know that AI is not limited to machine learning; it's just one technique in a giant panoply of possibilities. And are you once again going to claim "hurr durr the CIA will kill me if I talk", or do you admit that was a brainless LARP?
>>23318810Reading is like magic. Writing is a craft. I got that idea from Old School RuneScape, mixed with school homework and family guidance.I finished writing a book erectly in 12 days. 160 sides of paper A5. Multiple languages. Published it directly. I made it. But this is 4chan, we only try to one-up eachother here.
I'm trying to write a lesbian (yuri) horror-mystery.https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rS6aLAqtVxDGXoHhfCeEP_B6TkADD3sqRzAa6_PJDIc/edit?usp=sharing
>>23319884shouldn’t this be a poem?
>>23320223Maybe the formating. I'm not really a huge fan of free style poetry though and i was worrying it would come across as being more pretentious than it already is lol
Why does everybody expect me to write about the plight of gay black men just because I’m a gay black man?
>>23318810So it can't create anything, can only manipulate what hath been created.Reminds me of someone
>>23320289Who?
>>23320299all of the brainlet incel NEET shutins with room-temperature IQs that plague this thread
>>23320299Satan. Also, humanity.
>>23320281I'd guess that's because writing about the plight would make you understand that you're susceptible to HIV and AIDS? I don't know. Sex safely.
>>23320281Why are you happy, negro? What's there to be so happy about?
>>23320281Man, I did not want to end up writing queer fiction but fuck if I could tell you what a normative experience is like.
>>23318814It's ok
>>23318847>>23318978>>23319124 (midwit, kys)>>23320127Continuing this thread since the OP image caused an aneurysm for me as one of the dumbest things I've ever read. I've attempted the group the replies together since I don't care about creative writing.Chomsky is absolutely seething because AI refutes his core linguistic theory as to how humans acquire and learn language and his only response is NOOOO ITS NOT HUMAN OK SO MY CRAP THEORIES ARE STILL VALID FOR HUMERINOOS OK. Chompsky is not a materialist. He believes in a supernatural idea of humanity with it's language, ideals, strivings to all be inborn or at least the capacity of these things to be. The idea of language operating as a functional network triggering patterns of behavior troubles him so much he can't produce a counter argument than deriding it as ridiculous:>From this sample, it can be seen that the notion of reinforcement has totally lost whatever objective meaning it may ever have had. Running through these examples, we see that a person can be reinforced though he emits no response at all, and that the reinforcing stimulus need not impinge on the reinforced person or need not even exist (it is sufficient that it be imagined or hoped for). When we read that a person plays what music he likes (165), says what he likes (165), thinks what he likes (438-39), reads what books he likes (163), etc., BECAUSE he finds it reinforcing to do so, or that we write books or inform others of facts BECAUSE we are reinforced by what we hope will be the ultimate behavior of reader or listener, we can only conclude that the term reinforcement has a purely ritual function. The phrase “X is reinforced by Y (stimulus, state of affairs, event, etc.)” is being used as a cover term for “X wants Y,” “X likes Y,” “X wishes that Y were the case,” etc. Invoking the term reinforcement has no explanatory force, and any idea that this paraphrase introduces any new clarity or objectivity into the description of wishing, liking, etc., is a serious delusion.He was wrong then and he's wrong today. The inverse is true, that humans are effectively wetware AI. Neuroscience and AI continue to refute the linguistic theories of Chomsky and affirm his nemesis's Verbal Behavior as a better model for how language is aquired and operates.
>>23318810Think this exchange has potential?https://pastebin.ai/l5vrp0p2wcI know it's rough and needs a lot of description. I just don't know if the subject matter is interesting, I feel like it might be too much for one chapter.
>>23320406everyone always knew verbal behavior was the more accurate model
Ok, I took your advice to heart and changed some pronouns and phrasing in this segment. How's it reading, now?
What would be the best way to publish a horror-mystery novel?I feel like my story might be too edgy for some traditional publishers.
>>23320349Works for me.
Does anyone have suggestions for how to write male characters with unconventional interests without unintentionally emasculating them?
>>23320565pride, charisma, unrepentant desire.
>>23320406AI doesn't refute his theory at all. chatGPT and all the rest of it are trained on literally billions of sentences drawn from the entire internet, which is far more data than a child receives when he learns to talk. chatGPT says absolutely nothing in the slightest about how humans acquire languagemoreover, you're a retard
Even if I make it I'll always be jealous of the power that music has over people, the ability to invoke emotions so potent in only 3 - 5 minutes is unreal.>May it be - Enya
>>23320578If you don't know what youre talking about, don't talk about it.
>>23320414Its fucking terrible KYS
>>23318814Updated linkhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1ylJPgKGYCrjiK3KvvAzBgSHasVoQp0U9r5hEfZp9zF0/edit?usp=sharing
>>23318810noam is a retard and has exposed himself, discrediting his entire life's work! i hate to see it but its true!
>>23320641anony the gnome exposed himself decades ago
>>23320628you know, I would taken this as face value, if you had omitted KYS from it
>>23320576Examples?
>>23320679nta but why would you let something like KYS make you disregard everything else? its like a signature, this is the internet, grow a spine
>>23320641Noam has an extremely good heart, sometimes I think he loses sight because he's so invested in holding his own society for its crimes, he forgets that criminal intent of that sort isn't exclusive to the West. But I look at intentions, I think Noam has some of the best intentions.
>>23320699The Valli-Rath family in red rising. Disgustingly deviant, outrageously entertaining. Think roman gods. Would you call Dionysus emasculated? Granted this is for a specific subset of "unconventional interests". Your question is very open ended.
>>23320703What possible intention could justify the denial of a genocide?
>>23320701nta, but "kys" is a signature for trolls or arguments or other low effort posts. So yes, it makes a "critique" irrelevant, because it obviously wasn't a comment made in good faith
>>23320701it's a meme on this site and its inclusion deprives context of any gravitas
>>23320718See I just don't understand this sentiment. Did you never shoot the shit with men growing up? Legitimate points are couched between beligerant slurs, if you just dismiss anything due to its beligerance then you're going to miss a lot of valuable points.I fundementally disagree with you that it makes the critique irrelevant, I believe you are exhibiting a highly female attitude towards banter and it's evidently counter productive to your ability for dicsourse.I would assume you're a woman, but this is the internet so naturally you're a tranny. Do yourself a favor and fix your relationship with your father before you kill yourself.
>>23320721Are you some hopped up teeny bopper who cannot digest a thing without it containing a sufficient amount of gravitas to satisfy your unkempt whims?
I’m going to keep writing fantasy slop and you can’t stop me. The elf shooted her arrow at the silver minotaur of Orin’thaka. The arrow penetrated the minotaur’s skull and killed him. He fell down, dead.
>>23320710>Your question is very open ended.My apologies. I should've been more specific.Essentially I wanted to write male characters in a 1970s Americana setting with interests/hobbies unconventional for young men of their time (early to mid 20s) without making them come off as (for lack of a better term) basedboys or using them as vehicles for pop culture references.
>>23320735>The arrow penetrated the minotaur's skullkwab
>>23320736This is still extremely vague. But I would still say the key is confidence of character and assurity of their friends and family.
>>23320735>He fell down, dead.I got shivers.
>>23320735The elf wept in awe at the size of the dead beast's limp cock. She approached it cautiously for fear that the serpentine monstrosity would lash out at her. A heat stirred in her loins as her slender fingers brushed against the heavy glans.
>>23320741What details would you like me to provide? I'm more than happy to I just don't want to autistically prattle off character traits
>>23320764what is the unconventional interest, and why do you think it could emasculate your character.
Blood? Blood. Blood!
Noam Chomsky is the Christian ideal of an atheist. He hears the signal that human life is profoundly valuable and meaningful. He channels it unabashadly through the fiery sharpness of his mind. Those of you who pretend to outwit him are great fools ("A good linguist but..." , "...Pol Pot..." etc. The man is brilliant and now everyone can see it, because he is as sharp as a razor at 94. )He hears the cry of burning children, which in his atheistic universe should mean nothing but the mechanical result of particles, yet he is moved by it and responds by attacking the mendacity and deception of the Enemy. Noam Chomsky will almost certainly go to Heaven and meet God. I find it VERY pleasant to imagine the surprise on his face.
>>23320775Marine biology. Given the setting (Deep South) and time period (1970s) it seems too impractical to pull off without coming off as emasculating
>>23320726lmao, most normal 4channer once again. I considered replying seriously to you but I don't engage with the mentally ill. There's no point
Looking for feedback on an old battle scene I wrote.https://docs.google.com/document/d/15s6K1bmi5OvLmAAivDeNd3gQA-T56sazNnpzOHNnmkg/edit#heading=h.t4rtc0w5rykh
>>23320803>marine biologyhow is that emasculating in the slightest? he goes outdoors, he's tanned, works with his hands, guts fish - isn't squeamish. the guy could basically come off as a fisherman.
>>23320825>proving his point
>>23321011>I don't engage with the mentally ill. There's no point.
>>23320918He doesn't live anywhere near the ocean so it kind of comes off as escapist fantasy
>>23320446Insanely good
>>23321071okay, but surely there's at least a creek or even a larger river by his house. he goes to the local reservoir or gravel pit to fuck around with his friends. he must fish if he's interested in marine biology. he definitely swims. he probably tries to catch snapping turtles. this is the 1970's, you said, so he isn't some indoor soi boy, unless he's in a wheelchair, or something. he probably smokes cigarettes. I legitimately don't understand how you think marine biology is in any way emasculating. I was expecting you to say he likes decorating cakes, or something.
>>23320446this is very good, anon.
>>23321119It's that he has a fascination with the ocean specifically. I also wanted to give him a fascination with art galleries.
>>23321172>It's that he has a fascination with the ocean specificallyfine. but why? is it because Jaws just came out because it's 1975? there has to be a reason that makes sense to the reader.>a fascination with art gallerieswith the gallery, or with the art? and, again, you need to have a reason why. there is no internet where he can be exposed to these kinds of things, so there must be something in his life that actually leads to these "fascinations"
>>23321194He's fascinated with empty spaces, abyssal areas populated by complex creatures. His backstory is that he was a kid who entertained himself with library books as a result of being a generally neglected kid (parents were not intentionally neglectful but just struggled to make ends meet). In the library he discovered picture books and national geographic stuff on whales and deep ocean creatures.
>>23320281>just because I’m a gay black man?Just because or because you're just?Maybe if you were more than that, you'd have something to write about.>>23320446Change all the "I"s to "you"s.
>>23321283I think the only reason you're worried about marine biology being emasculating is because the kid's a homo fag who goes fishing for dick at truck stops.If he was truly fascinated with empty spaces he' d be out playing in the woods. Maybe you should change the year to present day so the city he lives in - I assume it's a city, now - is more dangerous and that's why he has to go to the library. Life in the 1970's was significantly different (read as, much better) than today in many, many ways. Whatever, draft your story and make me eat my words.
>>23321297Interesting. Ok, I'll try that and see how I like it. It's just weird, given that this takes place ~25 pages from the end of a 300+ page novel, and it's the first (and last) instance of the pronoun "you" throughout the whole text. Maybe that's a worthwhile feature.
>>23321297>Maybe if you were more than that, you'd have something to write about.NTA but you don’t seem to have much in the way of reading comprehension. He didn’t say he can’t come up with something else. He’s complaining about others’ expectations of him.But I’m sure you’ll come up with some retarded excuse.
>>23320210i tried. I couldnt
>>23321378Aw look at that, it's a sensitive white knight. So cute.
>>23321892This reply meant for this post.>>23321635
>when you ask ChatGPT for feedback because your 85 followers are all deaf dumb and blind and never leave comments
>only hope for affording retirement is to spend 20 years hobby writing and hoping one of the novels I produce gets published>AI has taken even this much away from meWhy live? Honestly, what is the point? I don't enjoy anything and i'm in pain every day.
>>23322019How retarded are you? You think the dozens of dollars in royalties you'll get the first few years before they taper off into nothing are going to let you retire?
>>23322019AI is harmless, at worst it's used for grammar.
>>23320746Go on
>>23320701If you had at least typed out>kill yourselfI would consider it something, but KYS is so low effort and... though I am one myself, zoomerish.
>>23320726Banter requires context. If I tell some random person that I'd ram a pineapple down their throat so hard it comes out their ass, they'd think I'm a crazy person.If I tell that to a friend, then he'll just laugh about it.Even if it was someone who I didn't personally know, but who belonged to the right group, and in the right setting, it could be a reasonable statement.Here in /wg/ you have your fags who say nothing at all with their words, and you've got people who give actual criticism.Your post fit in the first, but you are acting like it belongs in the second.It was low effort, but you are defending it.
>>23320593https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kur0qaYM1jMThis one is cheating, because you've got not only visuals, but you will have played a game that attaches you to this world.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9kjgEERAuIThis song has none of that, but often makes me tear up when I listen to it.I'd also consider posting something from The Protomen, but I think those songs only get more and more emotionally evocative as you listen to more of them.
>>23320703No. He is another pinko who denies what makes his side look bad. He took part in a long back and forth about the undeniable Cambodian genocide, saying that you couldn't trust refugees. Then his book had 30 of the sources being the government that committed said genocide.
>>23320593https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHFq8IZjac0Instrumentation has generations of soul and connotation behind it.
I want to write a romance thing but I've never fallen in love before. Can I still do it?
>>23318810Chomsky's right here. AI is bullshit contingent on entirely different calculation process from actual "intelligence."
>>23322228>romanceif you spend even 10 minutes skimming through popular women's romance you'll find there isn't even glimmer of what you imagine love to be
>>23322228>he was really hot>and tall>and had a big cock>and treated me like shit>but after he came he hugged me and i got a big smooch
>>23322230I once wrote a story about sentient AI trying to gain equal treatment against a populace conditioned by movies and other things of that nature. Like, there's a part where a robot is jokingly called Skynet I call it the Cyber Rights Movement because that's a cool name
>>23318810Gave /r/betareaders a try, nope.Every post has "swap"-a comment by ThatAnimeSnobThat guy probably lurks here, so hello ThatAnimeSnob.For those who don't know, it's 10K Brtisih Tuber who does awful reviews, he also reviewed every vintage hentai on animeDB. He has extremely bad taste.
>>23322311>he used redditYou have to go back.
>>23322311If it makes you feel any better, the man is a pedophile. I'm not talking about he likes loli, I'm saying that he admits to having molested actual children. It was actually very easy to find this out. First page of Bing levels of easy.
>>23322272>I wrote The Bicentennial Man
>>23318810figures he works his entire life to make absolutely 0 progress in linguistics and then trashes tech that basically solved linguistics and made his entire body of work obsolete. old sad man.
>>23318810What's the best font to use for a novel? I know this is a basic bitch question but i'm an amateur.
>>23322311>He has extremely bad taste.Blocked him on Discord and Reddit after his input was less than useless. Motherfucker has a negative IQ.
>>23322360Get creative, use a new font for each word, each letter
>explicitly give my protagonist a flaw to overcome over the course of the story>"This script sucks because the protagonist doesn't have a flaw"
>>23322362Anon. Please. Help.
>>23322367times new romanorhttps://letmegooglethat.com/?q=popular+book+fonts
>>23322367Just use whatever your word processor defaults to. Stop thinking about it and actually write nigger
>times new roman
>>23322371>>23322372Okay, you're right. I am trying to crack down and procrastinate less. My instincts told me Times New Roman but when I googled it google was like "Serif is dah bestest" and it felt wrong.
>>23318814>Destroy my hopes and dreams.Miguel de Cervantes wrote a bunch of stuff that got no attention before Don Quixote
>>23322367As the other guy said. Just write. Worry about your font AFTER the story is done.
>>23319722>each breath laden with the scent of impending rain.I don't get this. Whose breath?
>>23322377Just write it in the most readable font for you.
>>23322385exactly ;)
>>23319786I agree. I'm using AI to help me with my novel I'm working on. People who hate AI are fags and will be left in the dust.
>Lamplights flickered, casting erratic shadows against the cobblestones, weaving tales of forgotten lore.How do lamplights weave tales? Is this meta?
>>23322392for>>23319722
>>23320281Because they have no imagination, and they are confused that you do. Pay them no mind.
>>23322401Idk, I'l ask the ai.The phrase "lamplights flickered, casting erratic shadows against the cobblestones, weaving tales of forgotten lore" uses metaphorical language to evoke a vivid and mystical image. Here, "weaving tales" isn't meant to be taken literally; instead, it suggests that the play of light and shadow creates patterns or scenes that could be imagined as stories. It's a poetic way of saying that the environment, influenced by the flickering lights and shifting shadows, seems to tell its own stories—perhaps evoking memories, hinting at hidden secrets, or suggesting the passage of many generations.This kind of description isn't meta in the sense of being self-referential or breaking the fourth wall, but rather it's a technique to imbue the scene with a certain mood or tone, making the inanimate part of the storytelling. It's a common practice in literary styles that prioritize atmosphere and symbolism, where the environment often feels alive or charged with meaning.
https://pastebin.com/t9LJBgaqWorking on a horror. Here's the first 300 words. Would you read more?
>docs.google.com
>>23322403this is why I cant read you faggots bullshit all of the time. You are writing a story, not a goddamn Rorschach test. I dont give a shit about your interpretive dancing prose, JUST WRITE A FUCKING STORY FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERE ARE THE STORIES???????
>>23322392Looks like an AI wrote it. Shit sentence.
>Writing erotica>Get to sex scene>Lose all interest in writing.OOF
>>23318810Little sample from a chapter
>>23322522I don't like the style. I don't like that nothing happens. I imagine there are readers out there who do like it and it simply isn't for me. That said:>It was an instinctual feeling between them which Baron, and her bumble-bee colored hair, attracted...My fixing the comma aside, when I read bumble-bee colored hair I know you meant yellow. However, in my head, I envisioned this godawful, streaked yellow dye job done on black hairYour run ons and commas really suck.
I wrote a sonnet about pooping my pants you guys interested
>>23322486>>23319776
>>23322167You have the context. You just reject it. That does not mean it doesn't exist. Get off your high horse, whore.
>>23322561>However, in my head, I envisioned this godawful, streaked yellow dye job done on black hairThat's exactly what it's supposed to be. I'm happy you got it. >I don't like that nothing happens.I understand, although this is a small part of the whole chapter. I like Proust a lot, and I take inspiration from him. My stuff has a plot. It's just slow. And more character/theme/symbolism focused. I also just don't like this idea in literature where every single iota of the book has to have some utility. That's why I like Proust, because he's not afraid of showing characters existing for their own sake.
>>23322572It's a modern turn of phrase. It would be like saying "This looks like a preteen girl wrote it". If you've read a lot of preteen girl writing then you'd know what I mean and know that it sucks. The same goes for AI. It's overly flowery and only looks good to midwits
>>23322679An ai literally wrote it.
In my story, the protagonist ends up having to stay at the house of strangers, a young woman and a boy. I meant to make them a sister and a brother, whose parents died some years ago. But then I started to wonder if it wouldn't be better if it was a single mother with a son, and it was only the husband who died? Does that feel too unpleasant? What do you think, which would be better? Or would an entirely different dynamic be better? Something about this doesn't feel quite right.
>>23320578>AI doesn't refute his theory at all [fails to elaborate]. chatGPT and all the rest of it are trained on literally billions of sentences drawn from the entire internet, which is far more data than a child receives when he learns to talk [non sequitur]. chatGPT says absolutely nothing in the slightest about how humans acquire language [misses the point and fails to elaborate retort (again)].You're not intelligent enough to be on this board.
>>23320406Then why should I write?
Feels so good to finally hand a chapter off to editors. Especially one that I've been struggling with. Hopefully their feedback will really bring this thing together because holy crap was it ambitious
I like the name “Illan” for a character in my story, but I’m concerned about reader comprehension. Can you tell it’s i-L-L-a-n? How would you pronounce the word if you read it?
>>23322760Make it a single mother and her daughter and they both want to fuck the MC
>>23322852because you like to
No poems I can find to read in this wg. It’s crazy how little discipline I have when it comes to writing. Writing feels very much not worth it right now, but it’s the time of my life where I need to be putting the most effort in. I think it’s a feedback thing, would be a lot easier to larp as a rupi on some normoid media platform and slowly build a following off enjambed cliches. Even then I’d rather do manual labor than that. Posting a poem that I’ve stopped touching. It’s had 10 drafts and was created from nothing, zero semantic intention whatsoever besides staring at a few images. It’s meant to be read aloud Sodom in SpringHe erupted like splintered crystals,like leaping angel meets sinning world:a dragonfly emmarbled in morning dew,frozen in a web weighed by morning dew.Faith never left him, as his chances wanedwith the night’s onset. When his wingswere exhaustion-stilled, hope did not leave him.He died loved but he did not die knowing.By the morning, dew meshed sun to silk-white,spun for a brazen youth who needed no warnings.“It’s as if the world had numbed to our words”Said she. Clouds swallowed the skies without breathing–the augur remained truthful, though by nownone were counting. Her heart beat alonewhile men thrashed past her ghosts, without pausefor the webbed dew, round like rainfall frozen.We’d parked near a well pissed-on hydrant,near a brick wall plastered painted gray–Half-aware nuisances were defacingall that’s bare and young like dogs pissing.Goosebumps beneath the underpass, scarredwith the marks of mal-adaption, left bycaned youth fighting against their ripping mouths,torn upwards by the hooks of the hungering.We trawled over the frozen lake to fish,His hammer thundered an ichthus hole:Crack. Shatter.Mists swelling with sprayas he splintered the ice to fractals.He freed the lake ten thousand ways,and the water gasped for air.I knew there that we, too,would one day die and be consumed.The ice shattered but held our weight.She said it felt like peering downfrom the glass bridge to Heaven,while it crumbled above our raptured bodies.“If it hasn’t broken yet, will it ever break,”Our feet atop the crystal web,catching, flaying, and filletingthe little children of the lake.He erupted skyward, swimminglike boy ripped from her hands,like leaping angel to sinning world,blue hands thrashing-faith-hopeful.Ten minutes now to the hospital.She cried out when the lake rumbled,Crack.Shatter when she staredat the soft-laid boy in the web.Tears stained his face like rain on morning dewand his wings were still.
>>23322425If youre satisfied with the AI’s explanation you should change that metaphor, “weaving forgotten tales” could be exchanged for something more resonant and descriptive, “weaving stories for noone to see” “making the street a theatre for shadowplay, a thousand plays acted out over the night remembered by only the knowing stones” etc etcForgotten lore is just kind of nondescript and requires a guessing game, my examples weren’t meant to be stellar and thoughtful prose but I tried showing how your metaphor might be retained while adding more context and resituating it.
don't mind me, just reposting the /ffa/ prompt list for personal use >>20740107>prompt listA closet full of skin suitsA dating app with extraordinary risks and rewardsThe academy of Paranormal Life CoachingThis will be India in 5 minutesA grizzled detective goes undercover on 4chanYou reap what you sow"Please don't forget what I told you"The location the GPS took them to seems to be a little offA tapestry constantly being added toMurder in the Cathedral's sanctuaryThe cellar houses wine and... bodies?Finding a one-of-a-kind book in the library stacksA co-worker has a hidden talentA shut-in decides to go trick-or-treatingMarrying for revengeHorrible timing for a pregnancy announcementA game of twister at a nursing homeThere is a ship museum in UtahA librarian goes blind every ThursdaySomeone crashes a child’s birthday partyPOV of an alley cat in IstanbulAn unusual item at the bottom of the seaPina coladas and long walks in the rainNew shoes really make you run faster and jump highera slasher villain's first dateAn elevator that doesn't work>A flooded castle, sinking into the mud (in progress)Why robot teachers were discontinuedA straight-laced man's unusual new hobbyGender Selection DayThe whales save themselvesElevators have been portals this entire timePlants are proven to be sentient life formsA lie is taken seriously, with far worse consequences than the truthJapanese ghost fishWhat lives beneath the mossAn embarrassing phobia>Progress ReportOverall: 5 pieces completed, 1 ongoingSince Last Update: 1 prompt completed
>>23322686says alot about society
>>23322880I read it as "ill-ee-an", but it does look kind of weird with the "Ill" at the beginning. Maybe you could play around with it symbolically/metaphorically, since it looks like the Roman numeral "III" (3), and make him the 3rd in line to a throne, if it's fantasy, or perhaps he could be a key figure in some triadic theme, like in a prophecy that involves three important elements or events. In crime/mystery/thriller, have him solve a series of puzzles where the number three plays a role (i.e., every third day, a new clue or event occurs). Maybe that's corny, but my first instinct was to find creative possibilities in the plot that relate to his name
I swear, you people are bots. I refuse to acknowlege you as sentient organisms. No brain activity whatsoever.
>>23323215that sounds like something a bot would say
>>23322880I read it as Li'l An -- and no, you can't stop me.
>>23322360>>23322367My girl Georgia can make absolute shit look presentable.
Faggot faggot shit eating tranny. Wounded penis turned inside out. I demand satisfaction of the carnal kind but weep instead over my fractured mind.
What's harder, writing something good or becoming popular?
>>23323215I mean, it’s 4chan. Just a bunch of dumb assholes. >>23323602Popular. You’re a slave to trends.>>23323525Nigger.
>Sit down to get ready to write>Overcome with intense feelings of anxiety>Start procrastinating until it's time to sleepHow do I get over this loop and actually write?
>>23323642alcohol
>>23323642unironically alcohol
>>23323642get drunk (or drug of your choice, as long as you can still think while using it)
>sit down and write something>get wracked with the same intrusive thoughts the next day>feel trauma again
I didn’t like reading should I wrote?
>>23323642Stop being a bitch and write. It's literally just that. Developing crippling alcoholism to cure your anxiety is a pretty retard move, even by 4chan standards. Have you considered doing something productive even though it makes you uncomfortable? Or are you just a big bitch baby and not remotely a real man?
>>23323687>>23323693>>23323697Besides substance use, preferably>>23323722>dude just like ignore the problemIf I knew how to do that I wouldn't be asking for help?
>>23323728Sorry man there isn't a cheat code to growing a spine. "How do I start going to the gym even though it sucks?" Just fucking go. What do you want us to say retard?
>>23323734I would assume that having an intense adverse reaction to the idea of writing despite wanting to write is abnormal, so I am trying to find advice around it. It sounds as though you don't have this issue, which is good for you, but I don't really find value in your opinion.
>>23323738write things you dont care about, like start copy writing or doing transcripts. i had this issue in highschool and i solved it by waiting 10 years and then imagining up solutions that might have worked at the time.
>>23323734>there isn't a cheat code to growing a spinealcohol
hey anons when i make it big writing my slop stories who wants to join my writer house (it's like a gaming house but for writers)
>>23323851I do.
>>23323455Lil' An is a kino name for a young pure female protagonist, something the modern literary World is sorely lacking
>>23322799chomsky's theory is largely based around explaining human language acquisition. the elaboration of the claim that AI doesn't refute his theory is quite literally the rest of the post you quoted. the fact that a child receives far less data when acquiring language than is necessary to train chatGPT is a factyou're post is baffling
>>23319722It reads as feminine, but that's not an insult.>>233190030, you need completed work.>>23320446I'm the 'subject-anon'. It reads as more varied in term of subject jargon to me. It features a well-rounded vocabulary on a high-school grammar school level. But I'm not a teacher.>>23320482I debated with someone whether the proverb is 'All roads lead to Rome' or 'There are many ways that lead to Rome'. The most important aspect is publishing, think in a prior step. Don't overcomplicate the matter.>>23323715Yes if you want to. No if you do not want to. But do something, whether it's writing or carpenting.>>23323642Thank you for writing down your thought steps. My advice would be to alter step 1: and instead of sitting, standing up. We need to be active bodily, and sitting is the new smoking.In blog news: I wrote eleven and a half pages today.
>>23324001The oral tradition, the written tradition, and what will become the digital traditions differ.I'm not the anon you replied to.
>Wrote chapter 1 & 2>Damn, this is shit>Back to square oneAll part of the process
>>23324059shit because you don't like your phrasing amd how it turned out, or shit because plotwise you don't like how it goes?scrapping content happens, but editing can really turn your first drafts into something greatI'd say put it aside, at most. don't delete
>>23324116I didn't like how it was going. I have an outlike for the story, and I know where I want to end up by the end of chapter 5. But the way I was getting there was boring in retrospect.I have deleted nothing however, I will probably cannibalize the chapters to make a new one later.
>>23323851I too write slop so I'll join you
>>23323972last name Alprincess
>>23323738there is no way "around" it. you do the thing even though it feels bad, then it feels slightly less bad the second time around and so on. your "advice-seeking" is in itself procrastination and so is your pseudo-medical theorizing about abnormalities and adverse reactions. you need to shut the fuck up and do the thing.
>>23323738Not wanting to do something that doesn't produce immediate dopamine but that you know is good for you (eat healthy, stop drinking, go to the gym, study something, learn a skill, pursue a difficult hobby) is extremely normal, hence other anons replies. I guess it depends on how intense your "intense" reaction is, but if you just feel anxious about not being able to do something well, that's normal, bro, you aren't special. And yeah you just have to do it.If it is indeed some sort of truly intense anxiety, then you need to see a therapist or a doctor, why are you asking 4chan anons? Surely you're intelligent enough to realize that's a horrible idea if it is truly a psychological issueI think you know which is actually is (I am not implying that I do)
>>23318810I like writing fanfiction.
Where's a good place to find/exchange with beta readers/editors?
>>23324413The people doing this are other unsuccessful amateurs, so there's nowhere "good."Hire a professional editor or don't bother.More preferably, just write something good and have an agent accept you. Or self-publish and earn your audience. Then start worrying about the "next step" of professionalism.
>>23324413Don't take advice from retards. It's why this thread is a garbage resource too.
>>23324413>>23324424Unsuccessful amateurs that don't personally know you but have the expectations that if they provide you with honest criticism you will do the same to them is a good start. Depending on your country using small forums is probably better than big boards like reddit or heaven helps you /wg/At the very least it's probably better than family in friends who probably don't know much about writing but will try to spare your feelings. Most forums nowadays are obsessed with politeness and respect though, so it's a careful tread.Professional beta readers are a coin toss from what I've seen, some provide real value beyond what you could hope for, for a given price (although IIRC it's generally like a couple hundreds bucks for a mid-sized book, so you can probably afford it or get it with christmas money), while some phone it in. But they generally work on a reference basis so look for theirs.Probably no harm done in doing at least the first and third kind.Editors don't want to say they're editors online because then whatever private message box they use will be flooded with "Hey! Could you look at my manuscript" posts. If you want to talk to an editor face-to-face I've seen a couple stories of going to book conventions with the first part of your work (not the full thing) printed and grammar-checked until it's as good as it'll get, and if there's a good vibe between an editor and you they might accept to get your stuff, but you have to show an interest to their books as well. Dunno what that's worth though.
>>23324424>>23324450>>23324464I know what I want my story to be, but there are some lines and sections that I'm iffy about. Having someone read over it and tell me how it makes them feel is an excellent resource even if they are retards. A retarded opinion can give me the information I need too.
>>23322203Lol retarded regurgitated talking pointYou are unfamiliar
>>23324506Drop the link fucknuts
How's my descriptive language?>The cool rain pattered upon Ai's jet black, smooth, stone epidermis as he strolled down the path. As he walked, he focused on the downpour. In his eyes, it made the world look absolutely beautiful, the luminous fungi and glowing stones highlighting his path only stood out more under it.>He had heard stories about what the sun looked like, but he never really cared about them in all honesty. It sounded like a distraction. Too bright and revealing too much. This, however, was what he saw as gorgeous simply because it let him focus on life
>>23322976/ffa/ when?
>>23324510What did I say that was wrong? He is a self-described libertarian socialist. He denied, not sure if he still does, the Cambodian genocide by the Khmer Rouge.And more recently I read the absolutely retarded statement that the US invasion of Iraq was the worst crime of the 20th century.He has a hateboner for the US that transcends any sense he might have.And I didn't bring it up before, but he's Jewish.
Have your dreams ever influenced your writing?
>>23325366I don't dream, awake or asleep.
Should I break out the intro into its own chapter at the start even if it'll be shorter than the others?
>>23324800Last time I posted here some fag found my story and reviewbombed it in a pure autism fueled spergout.
“Schmidt’s lost it for good this time. He’s cooked I tell you,” muttered Howe as he plunged a pair of spidery fingers into one coat pocket, no doubt in that mundane quest for a loose cigarette. As his fingers fished like an all too-eager Joe on prom night, I nodded in agreement. Special Agent Alexander Schmidt was, as Howe so crudely put it, cooked. The euphemism held special meaning to me, for I, along with a small circle of Schmidt’s confidants, always thought of him as ‘Goose’. If by chance you had the good fortune to see his oddly small head perched precariously upon that serpentine neck, you’d understand why in half a heartbeat. Adam may have swallowed a bite of the proverbial apple, but Schmidt resembled a giraffe trying to choke down a watermelon. Do they have watermelons in Africa? I wondered idly as Howe finally found a damn cigarette. He balanced it between two fingers like a chopstick and raised it to his lips. For a rather uncomfortable second we gazed deeply into each other’s eyes before he snapped, “Damn it Bowers, do you have a light?” “No,” I replied unfazed, “I don’t smoke.” Howe bounced up with a grumble and curse. With his head on a swivel, he glanced down the hallway before bounding away, to pawn a light. I watched his rangy form until it vanished around a corner. He was an excitable man, almost as much as Schmidt, and, even as talented as both were, I could never fathom how either made it through the Academy without experiencing a complete break from reality. Then again, I suppose, Schmidt’s had finally come. I leaned forward, rested my forearms across my thighs, and tapped my fingertips together. Behind me, about a foot to my right, was a locked door sans window, and behind that door was a room presently accompanied by Schmidt, at least one pair of Army MPs, alongside a broad-shouldered captain with an ever so slightly protruding gut and a spindly, mustached, albeit a razor-thin one, as per military grooming standards, major with irritable eyes. All in heavily starched dress greens and fit to be tied. Now, I’m far from a psychic, but even sitting outside in that forsaken hallway I could picture the scene within with uncanny clarity. Well, at least both of the most likely possibilities. The first would be that the room was enveloped in pitch blackness. The kind of blackness that makes you reach for your sidearm before stumbling out of bed to take a leak at night and you’ll understand of course that the weapon will be hot and your two-bedroom apartment is now a live range. Schmidt will be seated on a creaky, wooden chair that threatens to collapse at any moment. This is no mean feat considering that man weighs a buck forty after a heavy lunch, assuming he’s remembered to eat in the last few days.
>>23325615>like an all too-eager Joe on prom nightWhy don't you fags realize you don't need some shit overly flowery pretentious description for every action?
>>23322760Without any context a single mother and son makes more sense if it's just the two of them unless there's some specific need for them to be siblings for the story, especially if the protagonist is a stranger to them but staying at their house.
>>23324013>In blog news: I wrote eleven and a half pages today.3 0000 words? sweet
We all gonna make it bros
Anyone ever try Skillshare's writing courses? They have one on worldbuilding and I'm wondering if it'd be worth looking at even just to have some kind of roadmap for a project I've been working on or if Skillshare sucks too much to be worth a free trial.
>>23319722- I assume dusk bleeds into early night, not midnight, when the city sleeps.- Imagery is a bit mundane. I've seen it all before. All that's missing is a yellow street lamp and a black cat in the shadows.Read Pedro Paramo. It's got similar vibes to what you're after :)
>>23318810We post our stuff here, and expect others to read them.>>23320349That's literally not saying more than "it's terrible" or "it's good".
>>23325744>worldbuildinggarbage and worthless when it comes to actually writing. as in writing the words that actually construct a story. if they have other courses on other topics you may want to consider those.so worldbuilding is worthless for 2 reasons. 1, people will get lost in worldbuilding and come up with all sorts of trivial horseshit and never get anywhere as far as writing a story. 2. it changes where your focus should be: on the characters and their motivations and desires - which is what readers care about - and instead you spend time on what is basically landscape. now do you need some landscape? absolutely, but it is not remotely front and center.as far as free videos Branden Sanderson has a series of lectures he did at Brigham Young. If you have a long commute or something or you throw it on in the background they're okay. say what you will about the quality of his writing, the guy produces wordcount and he's published any number of books. there's definitely wheat among all his chaff in the lectures.
>>23325801True words, even Tolkien essentially get lost in worldbuilding.Why does Bilbo need a gigantic family tree?Basically, LOTR exists a way for Tolkien to explore his world.
>>23318810It's hard to stay optimistic when everyone and their mothers wish to become a writer. And nobody wants to read other people's writing. And when they do, it's done as charity.My sole motivation is self-improvement, I write for myself, and I feel like I'm gradually getting better.It'd be great if some would enjoy my writing, but I'm done with begging.Ultimately, people who give up will never ascend, so continuing writing is like working out, eventually it might yield results.
>>23320578The brain draws on billions of years of data which is far more than large language models have access to. The point that remains from his position is humans already have evolved structures for language that will tend to result in similar grammar and such even when a new language is made up.
>>23325873>Hangs out in writer’s space. >WTF, why are there only writers here?Go post your shit on the dozens of web novel sites out there. That’s where the readers are.
>Nobody wants to readWhat? I get 10k views and that's only on a few sites I'm not even on the big ones. As for everyone writing you have to realize 99% of whats out there is either trash or low effort.
>>23325918I envy you
>>23325873>nobody wants to readman is it really not a meme that you fuckers in this thread legitimately don't read? Because only a nonreader would think people don't read. The hobby hasn't died at all. Just your own interest in it (if you were ever a reader in the first place, which is also in question)
>>23325982stop posting your historical fantasy epics on royalroad perhaps (retard)
>>23325982>8 pagesThat’s your problem right there.
>>23325791an ai wrote it
>>23325801I get lost without worldbuilding and need to establish things for myself.
>>23326002If nobody is willing to read even 8 pages, why would they read more?
>>23325366When you use ideas from your dreams, it's borderline plagiarism.
>>23325091Chomsky is a self-hating Jew though.
>>23326006It’s royal roads. Everybody like to see numbers go up.
>>23326016I just got the badge for 200 followers a few days ago.Over time, these numbers are rather pitiful, but I enjoy that some people read my stuff and that hopefully that audience can grow with another work.
>>23325692Yeah, I guess. The idea was that the family moved to a new town because of the father's business. He took a loan to fund his startup and then died accidentally, and the mother fell ill working off the debt and died too, leaving only the adult daughter and younger son to fend for themselves. There'd be fewer leaps of logic if it was only the father who died and there was only one child, sure.The relations aren't really important for the story, they're only side characters. The protagonist winds up in the town without any money and needs to stay with the family while working to raise funds to keep traveling. So the woman would have to own a house large enough for one extra person. Nobody living alone would take a stranger into a small rented apartment. And she wouldn't have stayed in a large house after losing her parents/husband unless she already had another person to take care of. How would a young woman get a house? Well, inheritance is pretty much the only answer.But it's fiction. The real point of importance is, which is less uncomfortable for the reader? The house is meant to be a safe place, not a source of extra drama. Having to deal with a widow struggling with debt and raising a son feels just disgusting to me. Sharing a house with two young people still at the start of their life less so. But is that just me?
>>23326023>4K pagesWhy?
>>23326050probably some kind of forever harem isekai shit
>>23326147Please critique this:>Perception [as the perceived] (and what is inherent to it) is only what may be called undeniable, and legitimately evident. These owing to its ubiquity. All perceived; all only may be perceived. Constance in ubiquity, so constant assuredness, providing undeniability; Evidence being made too through its ubiquity, that it is perceivable, though only through perception (itself). As well this proves its ubiquity, as I have stated: All perceived; all only may be perceived.
>>23326247>Perception is only what may be called undeniable, and legitimately evident.Complete gibberish.
>>23326261>Please critique this>"It sucks"
>>23325988>epicswhat is epic?how do you define epic?Is Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone an epic?
>>23326268Anon, it's total lorem ipsum that doesn't make any sense. There's no critique to be given beyond that.
>>23326275How does it not make sense?Do you not understand the concept of legitimacy or evidence?
>>23326298I do. You just fail to communicate any of it.
>>23326333What do you think I should say?
>>23326338How should I know that?`What do you WANT to say?
>>23326261First off, to deny is not a relevant reaction to "perception". Second of all, legitimately evident is redundant. These two things encompass the entire passage
>>23325873>And nobody wants to read other people's writing.classic narcissist's defense. when you fail, you don't go "i failed," you go "i guess nobody can succeed anymore." it's just cope. of course the real problem is nobody wants to read YOUR writing, because it stinks, but you will never admit it, and therefore never improve. all your future failures you will also attribute to the entire world except yourself
>>23325657thats the only way /lit/ knows how to make book good. Havent you figured that out yet?
>>23326359I dont read anyone's writing cuz they all suck
>>23326367who asked?
>>23324001Verbal Behavior better explains both human language acquisition and AI language acquisition than Chomsk's innate argument.
>>23326003well shit
>>23326377You, shitty writer
>>23326389it was based on my actual writing here >>23319797
>>23326415- Same issue. Nothing new in terms of imagery. Seen it all before. A dude walking in the rain, wearing a dark cape, going to murder someone. - The last line is a bit silly and out place. - How does the landscape fit in with whatever the noir dude is trying to do? I'd rather focus on him, not the falling seas and the crags and shingles and other plastic waste on the beach.
>>23326480I'm not sure how "it isnt new" is a valid critique. But yeah the character doesn't fit the context, I can sre that now.
>>23326522i think the point is nothings happening
>>23318847Midwit on display here.He doesn't say he supports copyright laws.He says ChatGPT manages to avoid their consequences.Learn to read.
Page 300. Could be good, but it feels like I might be encroaching into melodrama here.
>>23326542Yeah I agree, that's not the point I questioned.
>>23326550So he's wrong AND stupid
>>23325799you were expecting useful feedback from a bunch of incel NEET shutins with room-temperature IQs?
>>23326007huh? unbelievably midwit take
>>23326043>There would be no significant difference between the two options on that particular point for the average reader.
>>23326559I like it. Doesn’t feel melodramatic to me.
How do I do a time skip without it being confusing? I wanted to jump back and forth through the MC's life towards the end to show how they grew up but I wanted to splice it with scenes from when it was set. I see a lot of people complain about time skips and that they're confusing and such but writing the date feels like it's taking you out of the story, it's wooden.
>>23325703Written, not typed: I meant that the news is bloggy. So: I wrote fewer than 30.000 words, but it's still something.
>>23326705There are no time skips, only flashbacks and flashforwards. Time marches ever onwards.>30 years ago... (before) / ... earlier ...>In the present... (now)>30 years later... (later)
How many of you write while collecting unemployment?
>>23326358Legitimately evident as compared to falseably evident, what might appear to be evident but in reality is not.As well, denial is a relevant reaction to most anything real or fake.I would have thought the most issue would have been taken with the latter half of the passage.
>>23326050Cripple. First story so I had no idea how to properly structure it. I also wanted to do one of those long webnovels to just get as much experience as I could before moving to other stories.I've written a few short stories on the side and won two small contests, so this isn't the only thing I've ever written.>>23326147No harem, and the MC wasn't isekaied into another world. Though, there are other beings who did come from another world.Also, no litRPG crap. It's just a fantasy story.
>>23326773If what is evidently something can actually be something entirely different, then it was not really evident at all. And "falseably" isn't even a word. You can't just make up your own vocabulary and definitions and expect people to pick up on the fly.
>>23326991One can be mistaken on the matter of evidence, to describe evidence as legitimate assures it over the illegitimate or mistaken.
>>23326359NTA, I could drop links to the stories I've critiqued this week. They were all poorly written.
I have an idea for a story, but Im worried it could come off as purposefully sexualizing a minor, even if the point of the story isnt to present a minor as being as being sexually attractive.
>>23318810>>23318847Fuckwit thinks a human synthesizing information is fundamentally different than a program doing it. If you’ve been in academia you know just how bullshit that is; blatant plagiarizing is the norm, and the goal is just to rewrite shit enough that it’s undetected. Which this machine does “to escape copyright”. Effectively Gnomesky’s job, in a can. No wonder he’s seething. Not that it’ll matter, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. And judging from people doing keyword searches on published academic work it looks like humans instantly started using these LLMs to cheat. It’s already doing his job.
>Only about 5000 words left of the first draft to comb through
>>23327215>but Im worried it could come off as purposefully sexualizing a minor>worried...that youre going to succeed too hard?
>>23327420>...that youre going to succeed too hard?If the story were to be published, I do believe it may have the potential to becoming a controversial, if well, selling book.The story, in theory, is about a minor (14-17) who (if I might add) is (objectively) sexually attractive, but its not meant to come off in a good way.
>>23327445have you considered not being a pussy and just writing erotica involving teens?
>>23327450>erotica involving teens?The purpose of the story isn't eroticism, thoughbeit.
>>23327455yeah, well. sounds like you really just want to knock up a 14 year old.
>>23327458This is the sort of criticism Nabokov must have faced for his genius
>>23327464...criticism?
>>23327480...
>>23327491don't look at me like that im not the one writing about sexy teens
>>23327502The point of the book would not be to necessarily portray it as a good thing.
>>23327508no yeah, i get it.
>>23327518However, the book would portray a teenager as being (very) sexually attractive. My original question was in part a question of the marketability of such a book, and of how one would write this without it coming off like erotica.
>>23327524that's simple. don't make it erotic. describe her through the thoughts and words of other characters. offload the moral culpability onto them.
>>23327531>Offload the moral culpability onto themThe fact I didnt come up with this makes me wonder if I have any worth intellectually at all.
>>23327524My guy, you're just describing like half of yuri and het romance manga/LNs.
>>23327546What I want to write is a bit more high brow than that.
>>23326522being original is importantnot sure how your thick fucking brain doesn't get it
>>23327568What qualifies as high brow?>>23327570>thick fucking brainNTA, what the fuck does this even mean?
>>23327577>What qualifies as high brow?Yuri and romance mangas/LNs is just porn with words on top.
>>23327570so important that the mere lack of novelty in one paragraph raises your hackles? i seriously question your disposition.nevermind the fact that you couldn't point to the source of the accused derivation to save your fucking life. you wouldnt even dare try.
The man was in a location with symbolic baggage from being used in too many stories. Then he forgot who he was and became someone else but then he remembered again and then he used what he learned to overcome difficulties in the location and move to a different location in space. That location represents freedom and stuff. There was much relief, release of built up tensions and trumpets.
Do any of you rubes actually pay for grammarly premium?
>>23318810Now I just have to come up with a reason why 18-year-old noblewoman would be witnessing battlefield.I guess some king's took their wives with them, so they could actually seen some action from camp, but why would father take her daughter?
>>23327633If you use any of that shit to write youre either a massive retard or a faggot.
>>23327633yeah its not hard to find it 50% off and i can deduct it on my taxes, so it comes out to like 4$ a month. it helps catch a few things my normal proof reading and spellcheck wouldn't
>>23327603millenials did more damage to our society in three short decades than did a half century of war.delusions of pride metastisized into untold pathologies of half measured ire and uncommitted self loathing.irony, derision, and ill concealed mental illness. assumptions pulled from asses and therefore opinions not worth their weight in shit. these are the symptoms of the millenial "mind"you are a creature.
>>23327658>>23327617
>>23327656how is a spelling and grammar checker "for retards"? wtf
>>23327633Can someone explain that suggestion? I don't get it.
>>23327657But why? The free version is what detects errors, all you get when you pay for it are bullshit suggestions like in that webm. >>23327656Not all of us are gifted (autistic) enough to write perfectly all the time>>23327667Ask grammarly
>>23327658>I'm an illiterate incoherent retard and that's your fault
>>23327693>I'm a bitter twat who cannot back up his claims and it's your fault
>>23327654History has a lot of battles spectators were invited to see. IIRC the ancient Iceni invited people to see their battles against the Romans. Remember many saw (and still see) war as a glorious affair
>>23327697What claims retard? Do you even read your own posts? Have you heard of "projection"?
>>23327726feigning stupidity doesnt work
>>23326247I would like to draw attention to this again
>>23327594You evaded the question.
>>23327789i think he wants to write some treatise on ephebophilia given his other posts.
So you guys write anything or just bitch about asinine shit?>>23324300That's great buddy. You are a whole step ahead of everyone else here.>>23325366Yes. I have two science fiction stories that were adapted from weird fever dreams. Dreams are a great source of inspiration if you can remember them and untangle them into something coherent.>>23325801Worldbuilding is necessary if you are writing a scifi or fantasy of any length and detail but it is easy to get lost in the sauce. GRRM is a good example of getting too hung up on the details and it significantly slowing his progress.
>>2332781376% of the writing process is bitching about asinine shit.
>>23327789LNs, mangas, and such generally have simple plots that carry simple or unimportant messages, and deliver them in a way that isnt particularly impactful. That isnt to say all of them, but most. That sort of thing typically makes something low brow, compared to high brow.>>23327810No its an actual story.
>>23327740You appear to be completely unconscious. A moment ago you were ranting about "assumptions pulled from asses".
>>23318810>post-first chapter to Royal road>gets 36 views in 7 days>0 followers>post 2nd chapter>gets 16 views in 15 minutesI presume people read 2nd chapter without reading the first ones.So, these people are just skipping the first chapter?
>>23327830Can you give a single example of high brow?
>>23327882Literary fiction
>>23327888>still refuses to name a title
>>23327892Literally 1984
The protagonist of my story has an absolutely enormous crush on someone. She is literally his favorite person and he loves being around her so god damn much. However, he's also absolutely terrified of coming across as creepy or making her uncomfortable.I have no idea how to make him not seem creepy while showing that he's absolutely lovestruck. Maybe she actually confesses she has feelings for him as well, causing him to completely gush about how much he loves her and wouldn't know what to do with himself if she wasn't around.
>>23327654the real question is: why hasn't your 18 year old noblewoman not already been married off at the age of about 15
>>23327603dude all your nouns are preceded by bullshit qualifying artificial adjectivesi'll take Homer's wine dark sea over dark was the night, lay wayed sheets(wtf does this even mean), broiling waves and superfluous shit like "PEAKING HIGH"tyvm now fuck off please leave me alone
>>23327904>genre fiction>high brow
>>23327971NTA, I don't think that's a bad choiceIt's fairly short and to the pointIt's not like he chose Dune
>>23327971Oh so you do know what high brow is?
>>23328013Of course.
>>23327951Average might have been 17, but many women married in their early twenties.E.g. Anne of Kiev married King of France when she was 21.Adelaide of Maurienne married King of France when she was 23Adela of Champagne married King of France when she was 21
Can someone show me the way to learn. I am retarded and a complete beginner.
>>233281671. write a synopsis, it can be one sentence2. expand the synopsis into outline by asking questions about it, e.g. why synops happens, what are MC's needs and wants3. turn outline into a series of bullets by listing the story beats4. for every bullet point make a new page, break the bullet into further sub-actions, to describe what happens in a pageOptionally you could end every chapter witha climaxThis way you get idea of what happens in every chapter, and can easily just expand the bullet point into chapterThat's the fundamental, stuff like dialogue and description, get better more you write. So, you should write a rough draft of your chapters based on your bullet point and rewrite once you have gotten better.
>>23326773"Perception" is too broad of a word and not specific enough. Thats kinda the point of perception, its never the same from person to person. The issue is that the context makes sense in your own head, not the audience. Its like saying "Imagination is undeniable""Falseably evident" is just as nonsensical as legitimately. There are less awkward ways of saying "things arent always as they seem" because the word "evident" is contexted around imperical fact, not conjecture. its just the wrong word to use
>>23327048if, within the story, it is known as a mistake, then it shouldnt be referred as truth or "evidence". thats just confusing to the reader.
>>23327676it has nothing to do with being "gifted" thats the shit you were supposed to learn in grade school
>>23326586>unironically using "midwit" in a sentence
has anyone in this thread tried to write something actually on brand for royalroad? like a litrpg with progression focus/wish fulfillment and such? curious how your story did if so
>>23328504uh, pretty much all top "stories" are litrp's on that garbage site
>>23328504I'm doing that right now actually, but not so much wish fullfillment just classic swords and sorcery. Speaking of which whats a good chapter length for Royal Road? And does their sexual content policy apply chapter by chapter or full the whole piece?
>>23328571yeah? I knowDid you misread my comment?>>23328576Well that's what I meant, sword and sorcery stories basically never do well on royal road. I wanted to know if anyone in this thread had tried something actually on brand for it (litrpg or cultivation focused on wish fulfillment, basically) and how they did if soGood chapter length is 2-3k though. And their sexual content policy is something like 15% can be explicit scenes total, it's based on the work as a whole.
>>23328585So are you not able to tell that those litrp's do very well on that site?
>>23325873What kind of thing do you write? I might read it if it's interesting to me and if your grammar and spelling are at least close to flawless.
>>23328633I wanted to know if any anons were writing one (as I explicitly stated). I'm not asking if litrpgs do well on royalroad. Are you illiterate or something?
>>23328585I write isekai smut. It's literal garbage I can shit out 1.5k words every few days to keep it going. Just read what's popular right now, realize its all garbage, and write your own with a more striking cover image.
>>23328504I've been on-and-off outlining my own cultivation wish fulfillment story but it's still too barebones and I don't know how authors manage to do it.
>>23328679I'm jealous. Is it on royalroad itself? Could you tell me more? Perhaps even link it?
>>23328670yeah you can infer those fucking trash stories do very fucking well, it doesnt matter if /lit/ anons wrote it or not. They are all the same. Use your brain
>>23328670wtf are you on about dude I'm trying to talk to other anons, not do market research on how well litrpgs perform. Stop talking to me you fucking annoying ass bitch
>>23328736>>23328739Meant for this, obviously
>>23328783>>23328783>>23328783
>>23327524what, you think you're original? https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/121499
>>23327658Juvenile delinquency is rooted in adult delinquency.
>>23328770>curious how your story did if soIn case you couldnt remember your own post, which you did
