My mom is cool, dara darara my mom is cool, nana na nana my mom is cool and my mom will treat you right

>>23327661
I have began to hate people and humanity as a whole. I just don't care, you all chose to act like animals, you had the freedom given to you to try and overcome and you chose sniffing other people's crotch and eating until your belly's full. Hope a tornado comes and destroyes you and your whole worthless city, reprobates, I would feel more pity for anthill getting destroyed in the storm than your whole continent.

This is going to be one of you druggies
You'll kick the habit but your mind will be broken forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl1AGs9EDso

>>23327680
I had KFC 2 hours ago and will be buying a crispy onion burger from Wendy's later tonight. And a Frosty to go

>>23327687
the brain is surpringly plastic

>>23327680
Reprobates is such an intriguing word because it has a strong meaning but when you actually read or hear it, it has absolutely zero bite, lol. Also, what should humanity be doing instead then?

>>23327698
Did you see this guy in the video?
He's gone, never coming back from that.

>>23327687
Yeah I often worry my three year meth (and fent) binge cost me some IQ points; luckily I had some to spare and if anything it cured my autism.

Fetishes are so weird man. It seems like they are specifically based on the things which society find taboo. Like that is itself their origin.
Feet, armpits, eating shit, being pissed on, pedophilia, incest, gilfs, public exposure, rape, cannibalism, humiliation, cuckoldry, pegging... at this something like liking boobs doesn't even seem deserving of being called a fetish.
Like name one shameful, taboo or disgusting thing and there's a paraphilia for it.

>>23327687
On some level I have no sympathy for junkies, I know they really are victims on a real level but 95% of them are exploiting the sympathy to LARP as a victim permanently and get some kind of reverse munchausens attention

Also tons of them seem to be so broken by addiction that they simply can never come back, they simply become psychopath manipulators.

All you can do is detox them hardcore, lock them up away from drugs with no exceptions and no possibility of smuggling anything in, and if they kill themselves then so fucking be it. Anything else just lets them become a cancer in the lives of everybody around them. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. It's sad but it will prevent future people from becoming addicts to know how seriously it is taken.

>look up threads/posts I made on here several years ago on various philosophers and their ideas, either asking a question or explicating for someone else
>no longer quite understand them enough to reproduce my posts today

sigh...

>>23327712
Hmm. Maybe this is the way to distance myself from my shameful fetish. Find something that embarrasses/distresses me and make it sexy.

>>23327432
>>23327462
4chan has basically turned into its reputation. 10+ years ago it was known as a site for edgy misfits with bad personalities, but the truth is you found a lot of great dudes here who were just marginalized for being kinda awkward or unattractive IRL. I feel the majority of people on here now though are marginalized because they deserve it. They're just assholes for no reason, or crazy political extremists, or megalomaniacs who havent accomplished anything. Like people who genuinely got rejected from every social circle possible so they circled the drain and ended up here. I question what happened to all those anons who knew a ton about books, who were friendly and didn't do drugs and weren't homeless. I think those good anons just made 2-3 friends with deep interests like them and nope'd the fuck out of here. I'd like to do the same.

>>23327712
My somnophilia probably has less to do with its level of taboo and more of a psychoanalytical desire to be free of the Other and their gaze during sex, as there is no pressure or need to please the woman and worry about their judgment when they're asleep.

Now I learn that neither abu Bakr nor Umar had memorized the Qur'an. God knows best but I can't even conceive of how you would come to another conclusion.

https://sunnah.com/bukhari/93/53

>>23327727
A lot of the misfits of 15 years ago still wanted to fit in, get in with the normie crowd before they missed out on all the fun/experience.
Now we have people who cope by saying that the normgroid aren't doing anything worthwhile. They say that they're better off gaming all day or going to church twice a day because they're trad and totally not coping.

You can't talk shit about regular people if you never got invited by them.

>>23327736
I suppose it is plausible that they were being humble.

>>23327744
>They say that they're better off gaming all day or going to church twice a day because they're trad and totally not coping.
becoming trad because you think the world has gone insane (even if the reason why you think so is that they were totally mean to you) is a cope, it's true, but then what else is there to do? To cope is to find an acceptable way of life. Normie-dom and what belongs to normie-dom, by having ostracized them, has shown itself not to be an acceptable way of life.

>>23327753
>has shown itself not to be an acceptable way of life.
What leads you to that conclusion?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg7Tj94UFso

>>23327768
>>23327753
oh I meant "unacceptable"

>>23327744
Yeah I feel you. The mood on /lit/ is palpable frustration, they're trying (and failing) to use books to "overcome" the frustration of their animal instincts. This is obviously stupid since you're just suppressing those animal drives, and it's leaking out of you 24/7 like a damp sponge.

>>23327753
We only criticize copes if they're unsuccessful. Like if you just up and joined a Buddhist monastery and you became happy, no one would criticize you for coping because clearly the "cope" is working. We dislike trad larpers because you're clearly lying to yourselves that trad ideology makes up for your unhappiness. And instead of fixing this problem, you guys plug your ears and shout la-la-la even louder until your crap goes everywhere. Real christians don't have to constantly remind you they're a christian, they just are, they know sinners will be punished in the afterlife so there's nothing to be worried about.

That's what this place turned into, a literal failed cope-fest. I can unironically feel the waves of sexual frustration every time I come here.

Being called out for coping is good because there's still time to change. If you come on /lit/ every day to complain about females and libs and etc., you are wasting your fucking time. Not only does it make the board worse but you're hurting yourself too. Socializing is hard and I'm a fucking loser too, but you have to try. You just have to. There's no other future. This "coping with books" thing is just delaying the inevitable. You cannot continue like this.

>>23327732
Anon probably sees it as a series of increasingly taboo fetishes, but the sine non qua of the core fetish for him is closer to
>Seen in internet porn privately
Rather than any strict need for any given taboo within that medium

>>23327793
>We dislike trad larpers because you're clearly lying to yourselves that trad ideology makes up for your unhappiness. And instead of fixing this problem, you guys plug your ears and shout la-la-la even louder until your crap goes everywhere.
Fair enough.

I feel like I'm never enough.

>>23327793
are you a Christian? Or are you some milquetoast agnostic fag who bows at the altar of the new religion. because you too are seething but for a reasons outside of the usual /lit/ coombrainers.

>>23327793
>they're trying (and failing) to use books
That's generous

>>23327793
>>23327838
Although I will say that some things take time. Faith isn't an on/off-switch, you don't just become a "real" believer. You shouldn't give up on religion just because there is still anger in you.

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The big college in town is hosting an exhibition match for the men's soccer teams of Mexico and Brazil. Can't wait for not only the town being overrun with foreigners but a good chance of rioting.

>>23327902
Could be a great game. Strange thing to do, both for the college and for them, but if you get proper south americans (mexico is south american for these intents and purposes) in a playful mood, they could get up to some real acrobatics on the field.

While I know that I'm supposed to trust in processes and in the systems that have been promised to us as members of the big picture team, I can't help but feel that I am continually behind the curve. We're told to not be crude or rush into things we don't fully understand, and that being proper and honorable is what will ultimately win. But man, I only see the people who ignore decency winning in the way that we're told is correct. I want to be good to other people and to love myself and others the same way, and to see other people succeed and to be a witness to the greatness that can come out of that shared love. But then, the cynical and ugly parts of life confront me - how will I be able to support and love others if I don't have the means to be successful myself? If I can't win financially, and have lots of nice things and beautiful objects, how will I be able to sustain myself and the people around me when things get tough? Is it purely a matter of perspective or just a question of my own sense of security? Rhetorical questions, rhetorical answers - I won't get what I want by doing the same thing I have been doing. I have to be bold and grow into the ideas that are within reach and that I have assessed as virtuous. God, a wife, my work. Everything else can be provided, provided I have a good relationship with the three things that matter most. I'm hopeful. I want to be even more brave than I have been, and more loving to others than I have ever given myself the chance to be.

Strangers try to facetime me. Sometimes at like 3 AM. Give's me the creeps. Why the fuck is this even a phone feature?

Does anyone else have a 'shits going down' plan? Been thinking about it a lot these days, basically I'd pack a car with the cats and the most valuables and try to head for some family's place in the country to wait out whatevers happening. D

>>23327744
>>23327793
pretty much sums up the psychological centre of gravity of the place. never really figured out why, as another anon above said, of all the shitty habits i've stemmed over the years this one has stuck

>>23327712
I have a fetish for puffy winter jackets. There's nothing taboo about tha given that every woman wears one in winter (and drives me fucking insane - I literally cannot go outside in winter)

>>23327721
>I know they really are victims on a real level
No they're not lmao

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_Horse

>>23327962
I tried to put one together years ago but it was expensive and I was uncommitted. I figured if sit really does go down I'll just load my guns, barricade myself someplace and wait around to die.

>>23327586
> They really weren't. One of the major reasons why the replication crisis is so bad now is because the method is sloppy in the first place.

kek dude, doesn't work this way.

The replications crises is part of the problem. But back in the 1960s, you would get away with methods that would be regarded as un-scientific today.
I forgot a lot. Just look it up for yourself. If you can, ask your professor or someone, or do a deeper search.

For example, the old studies on the use of LSD in psychotherapy need to be replicated. Why? Because the old standards were so high?
Of course not!

The big problem is, a lots of theories and ideas in modern medicine are depend of insights make by some little studies, made with a tiny group of people back in the day.
They need to be replicated but who is gonna pay for it?

>>23327743
For this reason, I make more than one copy.

I have a friend who is an anarchist/communist type, and for him it is clearly because he is jealous of people who are born into wealth.
Thing is, I cannot stand it from him, because he is extremely privileged in his own right. Not because he was born into material wealth, but because he's got pretty much perfect genetics: he's very tall, has really nice thick hair, is the perfect tone of white and has a handsome face and perfect build. He could be a super model. There's probably billionaires who would be jealous of him.

>>23327723

I once read a old post, made by myself back in the day somewhere on the internet.
I read and - gaze! - I note a reference to a author, specific with book, even captere, I completely forgot about.
It was a ranter obscure reference, so I don't need them.

As it appears, your brain is a lot more on intellectual things in your teenage-phase.

>>23327727
> I question what happened to all those anons who knew a ton about books, who were friendly and didn't do drugs and weren't homeless. I think those good anons just made 2-3 friends with deep interests like them and nope'd the fuck out of here. I'd like to do the same.

I don't know. But I don't do drugs or are homeless.

>>23327793
Read about Sigmund Freud.

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This book helped me out so much.

>>23328063
Resentment is the manifestation of ingratitude. It doesn't matter what a resentful person is born with. He will always want more. Disgusting people desu. They should be forced to mine coal

>>23327805
> You cannot continue like this.

There was people out there who did it.
E.g. Borges, Lovecraft, Nietzsche, Hume etc.

The point is, all of this man (I don't know of one woman, sorry) produce some great work.

Why am I incapable of loving anyone who is good to me? According to my therapist it’s because of childhood trauma or something. I don’t know if I believe that.

I want to write a short story about my very original idea about humans communicating with an alien race via intergalactic messages but not meeting up due to being to physically far

do not steal

>>23328098
Do you feel like you're worthy of love? If you can't objectively see yourself as worth loving, then everyone else's efforts to love you and express love towards you will feel hollow and fake, and make it harder to try and reciprocate.

>>23327680
Rude

>>23328098
For me it's because all the girls who seem to truly care about me are not very good looking.
And that in itself wouldn't be a problem.
But I'm scared of having ugly kids. I would consider that highly immoral.

>>23328116
You can always work towards being a better man who reflects the beauty you're looking to see in a partner.

>>23328098
spiritual corruption. you've basically learned that goodness = weakness.

you've become fully convinced that
power = good so displays of 'bad' behavior though you understand them as morally reprehensible, since they signal power on the part of the doer, are themselves good. it's your relationship to power and thus your ability to be in communion with others that is in question.

I was in your shoes.

>>23328116
You sound shallow and narcissistic, which is immoral in and of itself. Are you even good looking yourself? It's important to have realistic standards. When you say that these girls aren't very good looking, do you mean that they're actively ugly, or that they're just average? I suspect it's the latter, and that your perception of how women should look has been warped by porn and social media.

Anyway, even if you marry a good looking person, there's no guarantee that your children will be attractive. I went to middle school with a kid who was extremely unfortunate looking (not the kind of face you could grow into, like genuinely ugly), and his parents were both very conventionally attractive.

>>23328169
You know it's possible to be ugly and still prefer beauty. It's not like ugly people have ugly tastes. They admire the beautiful just as anyone else

>>23328169

Why would you risk bringing ugly kids into this world so that they can suffer their whole life from being inferior to others in a way that they can never make up for?

I would say it's the opposite of shallow or narcissistic, because if I really prioritized myself, I would settle for some ugly girl and probably be rather happy. The kids would be fucked, though.

>>23328184
Sure, but if you're conventionally unattractive then it's unrealistic and delusional to expect to be with someone extremely beautiful.

>>23328207
>not answering any of my questions

>>23327744
> They say that they're better off gaming all day or going to church twice a day because they're trad and totally not coping.

Five to ten years ago I might have agreed with you, but "being afraid of the world" requires there to be a world. There really isn't anymore. What do you even mean, music festivals or something? You can't really just be talking about sex.

>>23327727
> Like people who genuinely got rejected from every social circle possible so they circled the drain and ended up here. I question what happened to all those anons who knew a ton about books, who were friendly and didn't do drugs and weren't homeless. I think those good anons just made 2-3 friends with deep interests like them and nope'd the fuck out of here
Im the anon you're responding to and that's what almost all of us did, yes. We're on telegram, matrix, some unfortunately on discord, and churches (about 30-60% I'd say). I got out through finding some guys on Twitter in 2017 and making my way into TeamSpeak groups etc. We can't advertise but there's still people to be found. Follow the Truth and you'll find your people

I have a high paying job and an active social life. Some personal projects/hobbies (modding games, attempts at starting a business, and lifting weights). I'd be hanging out with my friends or doing any of the aforementioned activities and out of nowhere I start to feel that this is empty and ultimately meaningless. It's like a tank of joy and inspiration is drained in an instant. I feel disconnected and just plain bored all the time. Had some "adventures" recently and found out that's not my thing, an adrenaline rush is not gonna do much for me.

>>23328387
A man needs a purpose. He needs to overcome himself in the name of life and truth. It's impossible to even have real friends without this

>>23328405
>purpose
I don't even know how that would look like. I wish I believed in something wholeheartedly or dedicated myself to a craft or something. But nah I get bored easily and change my entire worldview on a weekly basis. Maybe having kids will fix that

>>23328387
It's perfectly normal to get bored sometimes. Just take time to yourself

masturbating once a month only to check if my dick still works

Pound pastrami, can kraut, six bagels–bring home for Emma.

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>>23328416
Find God bro

>>23327661
>”Shlomo, I saw a poorly-drawn swastika in the bathroom! There’s Palestine flags on campus! People are making fun of me on the internet! Pogroms starting next week! Holocaust 2 by 2026!”

>”Nothing ever happens, Moshe.”

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I made a video talking about the Two Minutes Hate: https://youtu.be/o1DtNIxOD5k

So many supposed 'genocides' are such a meme. The Native Americans got conquered. Palestinians are getting conquered. Russians and Germans weren't genocided in World War 2. The Chinese and the various ethnic groups which comprise its citizens and cultural people were not genocided during its many, many civil wars and imperial dynastic overhauls.

>>23328678
Palestine got conquered a long time before Israel showed back up. Though I think you're being unfair, because the guys in those examples who were trying to do a genocide were trying really hard, and I think past the first 100,000 dead, they should get points for effort like how youtubers get that silver plaque thing

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now playing

Mankind (homo-sapiens) is currently under occupation by a race of neanderthal-homo sapiens hybrids. They are also demon worshippers who want to punish and humiliate mankind yet also desire a slave class to serve them. The demon worshippers participate in ritual child sacrafice for three reasons. To cover up the evidence of their rapine. To harvest fresh blood/cells to extend their own miserable lives. To offer up a sacrafice to their demon master. Brutalizing a child is the worst thing a person can do, it perfectly seperates good from evil. So for the demon worshippers this act is an expression of their faith- a prayer or sacrament. These demon worshippers are also the origin for the vampire and ghoul myths. Undead "human appearing" monsters that require human flesh and blood to stay alive.

>>23328678
so how would you define genocide, semantics-fag?

>>23328722
>anon pretending i'm sacrificing children again

erika dohi - Replicant
candy dulfur and dave stewart - Lily Was Here

drinking and suicide and back pain
- a jazz bar near you

>>23328731
Outside of the context of war and capturing territory for starts. The ethnic cleansing has to be the primary goal (eg Holocaust, Rwanda, probably Armenia), and not an incidental effect.

Is the first step to writing well to accept that you are inferior to the masters and can only hope to reach their heights through refinement of your work?

I think I will start going to orchestras. Theres something erotic about watching these professional female musicians play before a crowd. One mistake and people will snigger. Well dressed crowds of pretty people judging and eager to give the deadly insult of pity. Or worse, sleeping through your performance. It's why I started going to the ballet and beating escorts. Very moving.

The welfare state as it is should be expanded in budget greatly.
But those who are able to work and refuse should be excluded, and the primary purpose of the welfare state should be to train new and capable workers, so that they can then pay back into the system.

>>23328753
If you read a math textbook, you check the back of the book to see if your answers were right. Can the masters make mistakes? Sure, but you'd be a fool not to check yourself against them. What were the masters after? What'd they want?

>>23328782
Check yourself against them, sure. Think of what they sought, certainly.
But the first step to reaching them is to drop the notion that you are in any way close to them.

I've been sober 13 days and 7 nights

>>23328743
that's retarded

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>>23328753
That is one way, Andrew Isekhai Bavitz, or Little Elohim, for short.
Dork.
But, no.
Yes, maybe in “technical” “skill,” in its most rudimentary sense, you would be considered inferior, by those who do not truly understand the mystical nature of language, and how to communicate, effectively, fiercely, and with beautiful viciousness.
However, as cliché as it sounds, heart is the driving force of inspiration, and imaginative, honest brutality.
Trust me, you are equally as good as you think, yet absolutely not.
This will plague your mind, like a necrotic plague, possibly forever, but it is the truest gift I can give you, as one writer to the next.
The Breath of Humilia.
Enjoy the Ride, son.

Your Father, Elohim Isekhai Bavitz, will be there, for you, forever.

Take Care, Alexander Layne Magouirk.

I’ll find your pseudonym, from your loving mother, soon enough.

Love, Dad.

//////////CRACK///////////

https://youtu.be/RCMQzxYSrGE?si=qIjJNihbhNIntCcE

-Elohim, the Night Dragon

>>23328810
It’s Timothy Isekhai Machiavelli
Or, T.I.M., for short,
We’ll meet, Timothy Walker Hayes, later.
Guinea Pigs.

-Elohim, the Night Dragon

>>23327680
Chill out and smoke something for fucks sake.

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Wondering when my libido will decrease. I masturbate everyday, yet I still manage to go crazy when I see a woman with a tight shirt and nice tits or in a pair of shorts with sexy legs.
God help us

It all clicked to me today, this whole shitty situation the world is in. Zizek really is right; he's easy to dismiss because he talks a lot without any sense of punctuation; but the woke and the far right really are two sides of the same coin. The same simptomatic dichotomy can be seen in the crowds that review bomb stuff on the internet and their shill counterparts. These people are only interested in their side/ themselves winning, everything else is irrelevant to the point it becomes almost arbitrary.

And I think that the this (mostly) internet mode of discussions and outlook is personified perfectly by the likes of Destiny; people just hungry for recognition and victory.

The only thing that I still can't figure out is the most important one, and that is why.

>>23328911
They feel resource poor. It's also why they all have this apocalyptic vision where somehow picking their side will save them from the fire that will prove them right, not because they're particularly Christian, but because the advertising/consumerist machinery they're attached to know that makes them buy more stuff rather than bank it for forty years because they don't need it.

do you guys think I could pull off a gold tooth?

>>23328935
Bald men don't have gold teeth, Filipe.

Why would I ever want to be around another person? I love being alone, all the things I enjoy doing are solo activities, being alone is awesome, I don't want to hang around friends or have a girlfriend, they would just reduce the time that I get to do the things I like doing.

Say good night, anon.

>>23329017
Good night.

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Don't ask me how but somehow this sort of thing is what is going to kill us very soon as a species.

"Fudging" was already a metaphysically deadly element of mass society, but computers and algorithms have made it infinitely worse by presuming the fudging mass as the default. Even if you are apart from the mass and just want a keyword search, you must first submit on hands and knees to the mass and beg them for a special boolean operators to allow for "superuser" functionality (previously called basic functionality). The retarded is now the default. "Good enough" is now the default, meaning good for a retard.

>>23328902
Why did you think that masturbating would make you less horny? Does scratching a mosquito bite make it itch less?

>>23327661
Being miserable so long has made me feel unafraid of death and comforted by the thought of my own nonexistence. Not really desperate to go by any means but if it happened, I wouldn't think it some awful injustice.

Get to the masjid or church and fuck women, you degenerate cucks.

>>23329053
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification#Google_Search

>>23329138

I am unwilling to pretend to believe in something, to pretend to care about something, to agree with something, simply to get sex. My (spergy) brain doesn't work that way. For me, such forms of socialization don't have value, because they are based on one lie or another. The lie of god. The lie pretending that I want to be around others in a casual setting. The lie that it is okay to kill one's fetus. The lie that the revulsion at the idea of abortion is somehow culturally based in christianity, or some other cultural tradition.

>>23329138
I don't plan on spreading my low iq, mentally ill, spiteful and ugly genetics. Thanks.

>>23328387
I remember two guys I hung out with till I was about 30, a friend who sometimes complained in his offhand way about the "the stress of boredom" and his friend who once confessed eloquently to us both about loneliness in company--something I've only felt a couple of times, once at a deafening corporate rally held in a huge stadium, and another at an equally deafening concert I hated. In the longest run, there's nothing beautiful and satisfying as circumstances suitable for conversation where anything goes by the slightest movement of the will.

>>23327680
This guy has unlocked his joker chakra

Depriving yourself of showering for a few days, then taking a shower midday feels amazing.

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>>23328387
We live in a meaningless society. We've literally replaced everything with fucking consumption. Welcome to capitalism in the 21st century.

>>23327680
I incline more to Goethe and Werner Herzog: There is nothing wonderful in the universe as civilization, fleeting as it is.

>>23329280
This is my second day without a shower, probably won't shower tomorrow either, will shower on Monday and I'll listen to music while doing it since the only other person who will be home is my sister and she's the only person I don't get embarrassed playing the music that I like around.

>>23329280
I'll admit that I've sometimes had other priorities for as long as 5 days, then almost always afterward felt like I'd been administered an antidote to some subtle poison. I feel almost like that after long drives in the country, especially when it involves speeds averaging 70, 90 where cops are rare.

TFW you meet a genuinely good person that really cares about the feelings of their friends and family.
Makes you realize how foul and hateful you have been.
Makes you want to be a good person.

Really weird

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it's time to put this sexual degeneracy behind me.

>>23329256
>In the longest run, there's nothing beautiful and satisfying as circumstances suitable for conversation where anything goes by the slightest movement of the will.
that's why I miss the smoke sesh with my college buddies. something about that stage of life lets you loosen up a bit.
Funnily enogugh I do have the same conversations now but with my sisters, I am sure I wouldn't be so bored if I got to see them more often.

whatever happened to your friends tho if I can ask? I'd feel bad if I lost people at 30

>>23329386
meeting people like this got me out of my cynical and hateful phase
It's crazy how so many of us here never get out of the insufferable bitter guy pipeline with so much kindness around

>>23329290
Welcome to capitalism in general desu.

>>23328106
>Do you feel like you're worthy of love?
No. And whenever anyone treats me with kindness it makes me feel guilty, as though I don’t deserve it because I’m a terrible person.

>>23329386
I think about this sort of thing a lot. I've met a few people throughout my life who I would consider "pure". They're genuinely nice, they genuinely care, they don't have a mean bone in their body etc. It makes me think about how shitty I am and how I could be a lot better to people. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a mean person, I'm just not the best I could be.

>>23329386
I'd probably be dead if not for a guy who, in absurd circumstances, was never failing in his goodness in every sense, calm, considerate, trustworthy beyond belief, helpfully ingenious. The last time I saw him he was a pathetic ruin due to an addiction to which i'm apparently immune, opiates. For some reason they give me nightmares, and can't stand them for long even at mild doses. Who knows why that is.

>>23329503
>, in absurd circumstances, was never failing in his goodness in every sense, calm, considerate, trustworthy beyond belief, helpfully ingenious. The last time I saw him he was a pathetic ruin due to an addiction to which i'm apparently immune, opiates

Literally me.

Odds are I'm not the guy you know but I'm going to take credit anyway for saving your life. No but seriously, glad you found someone who had such a positive effect on your life.

>>23329390
I grew up in a big family. I had 4 sisters, 2 younger, 2 older. The best friend moved to Estes Park, the other became a High School teacher. I've never felt all that bad about the loss of any friend compared to the death of my father, which was agony to endure, and that of my next oldest sister, who I was very close to.

>>23329520
Another guy I remember was was a former biotech technician from NY, who grew up on a reservation in Southwest, and made his way to Columbia and Cornell. He was hit by car in midtown Manhattan, and it was all downhill from there. Charming and brilliant little fucker.

>>23329452
Why do you think you're a terrible person and believe that you don't deserve love?

You've mentioned that I lack life experience, but I would like to respectfully disagree. My living situation for the past twelve years has been in the basement of my uncle's house. This may not be a conventional living arrangement, but it has certainly provided me with a unique set of life experiences. I have faced various challenges and learned valuable lessons during my time here. I have adapted to the quieter, more solitary environment, which has allowed me to reflect and grow in introspection. I have also developed a close relationship with my uncle, which has given me a deeper understanding of family dynamics and responsibilities. All these experiences, despite being unconventional, have significantly contributed to my personal growth and understanding of life.

I wonder if she's ever brought me up in therapy.

The more fantastic and outlandish your fantasies, the harder you are to manipulate and control.

>>23327661
----Solaria ---
9079
Sublime Silliness

I've done nothing to deserve
The fortune of neighbors with such personality--

Surroundings this serene.

Being born in an unjust, war-torn country is just not fair. Corrupt leaders, an ever-growing ultra-religious population, and being threatened by an all-out war every few months. Not to mention I’ll be facing racism all my life even if I do move out of here.

Everyone’s a bigot and follows the hate-train without stopping for a second to realize it’s not the people’s fault, it’s the government, and yet the people are the ones who pay the price at the end. I just want a stable status quo for fuck’s sake

>>23329588
I am sorry for your loss anon. It's something we all go through at some point. I came to value my immediate family a lot more than my close friends over time, but now I am thousands of miles away from them.

Texas is a big country.

>>23329693
Agreed in every sense of your terms. I would add only that a certain latitude, as a free-range child, goes a long way to imaginative freedom.

So in the past few years I've been branching out and trying to establish more social contact. I can say that I do have a social life now, which is more than I could before. But often I find myself dissatisfied and withdrawing from these people. I have relationships but I don't feel close to anyone. I feel like an afterthought to everyone. A casual acquaintance they easily forget about. The people I consider closest to me consider me on the periphery of their lives at best. I find people don't really like me much. They avoid me. I don't know why.
Part of this is my fault I'm sure. I'm very guarded and keep things at a superficial level. I try to not divulge too much of myself, and that must be a major reason why people never get too close.

>>23329754
It probably isn't your fault. Most normies are just like that. They rely very heavily on established social structures, rituals, habits, norms, etc., to guide them. They will do things like stop being friends with someone very close to them because they moved slightly further away and it became just slightly inconvenient to see eachother, but then they'll start hanging out with some work friends they kinda hate. Not all of them are like this but a lot are. They are suffering too in their own way, because they really can't think outside the lines of what's normal, so sometimes it's almost like some small voice in them wants to be better friends with someone or they don't want to lose touch with that friend, but the weight of the situation says they "have to" and they go with that.

More likely you are just experiencing the normal degree of social dislocation they are all experiencing as well, but don't mind as much because they are trained not to notice it. You are probably also overly self-critical. Maybe there are genuine things you could work on, but more likely you're just an ordinary enough guy, living in a particularly bad era for normie socializing since they're all demented from living in cites and being miserable social media-addicted office workers to begin with.

Obviously think about ways to improve but don't let it become a mania either. As long as you're being friendly and decent as a person you should have some default trust that you're not somehow secretly broken. Most autists overcorrect and overly punish themselves for being weird when in reality the normies around them are just as weird and erratic.

My thing is that I spent years trying to socialize with normies and largely succeeded but I only realized, and admitted to myself, way too late that I find them and everything they enjoy unbearably boring. So I was just burdening myself with guilt for years for being a negative nancy because I don't enjoy watching unfunny shit comedies that they all enjoy, and I had it in my autism mind somewhere that they somehow "overcome" the same negativity I have, as opposed to just not HAVING to overcome it because they like the shitty movie without having to force themselves.

>>23329729
What's left of my siblings, two younger sisters, work only 90 miles away to the east of me in Chicago's North Loop, both as financial advisors. I have a kind of love/hate relationship with both lately, and, weirdy, get along best with the guy my next oldest sister married. He's really easy to talk to, highly successful, and physically lazy as I am not. More amazingly, he's never lied to me about anything crucial or criminal or not. I like him a whole lot.

>>23328975
Uh. Not from what I’ve seen

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Does anyone else feel like people hem and haw over 4chan too much?

Like, I think it's easy to crawl up your own ass if you use this site, because of the wild shit that has happened here and has happened as a result of meme magic and so on. I think that when people lament things like the downfall of 4chan or the golden age of 4chan they're participating in this kind of pathologizing view of the site that I don't see the point of.

I just use this website as a message board, mostly. A hub of message boards, related to my interests. If I want to talk about anime I go to /a/. If I want to talk about cars I go to /o/. If I want to talk about current events I go to /pol/.

I think people make this website more than it is, when in reality it's the last message board standing and we're all here to use it for precisely that. Even /lit/ is "the book board," and we come here to talk about books.

I don't know, I'm on Twitter too and I see people lament things about 4chan, and that makes me wonder what they ever expected the site to be, and what they hoped to get out of it. I use this place as a replacement for all the old message boards I went to years ago, and in that regard I've never really been disappointed with it. Forums are forums. If anything I'm sorry for the Zoomers who come here who missed the forums that were 4chan's predecessors, they were a lot of fun.

>>23328722
Reverse Edenism

>>23329836
I haven't used any kind of social media except 4chan since about 2017 because it isn't really social media in the usual sense. Whatever drawbacks there are to anonymity, at least from public view, it's the nearest thing to the liberty of private conversation available online.

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>>23327661
I don't like this world and I don't really derive much comfort from it. Hopefully Richard Dawkins is correct and nonexistence is anesthesia. Well.. I would HOPE that is what happens but based on my anecdotal experiences I fear that is not what happens.

>>23329783
I second this, normies are boring as fuck

>>23329874
I don't like this world and I don't really derive much comfort from it.

i do. If there's anything Next, so much the better. If not, so be it.

Thank you, moot.

>>23329932
>i do. If there's anything Next, so much the better. If not, so be it.

If I must exist again I'd rather not be human.

I had two and a half steaks, an ice cream, and nearly a litre of milk for dinner, I won't be eating anything else until tomorrow.

>>23328678

>The Native Americans got conquered.
>Palestinians are getting conquered.

In both these cases it is the subsequent displacement of the natives out or their native lands, that makes it a genocide.
For example the Palestinians were previously under the Turks and the Brits. Neither the Turks nor the Brits attempted to drive the Palestinians off the lands that they had toiled for centuries. They just became the new (illegitimate) landlords.
The Zionists, being ethnonationlistic fascists, attempted, and are still attempting, to drive the Palestinians into extinction, so that they can have their fake Jewish state.

>>23327687
Damn him at the intervention is kind of scary. Just refusing help and everything life can offer for fucking duster. Terrifying how stupid we can be.

>>23327712
Maybe that's the purpose of the general sexual shame in Christian culture. If just vanilla sex is kind of shameful then when you want to be a naughty boy and indulge in shame you'd just have cute sex with a farm girl. Instead of getting your ass licked by a drag queen or something.
Maybe sex is inherently shameful and shouldn't be accepted, it's like a secret thing. And when you do accept as a culture you'll just move the desire to be disgusting to grosser things.

>>23328678
Cause conquest means civilians are being targeted, women are kidnapped killed and raped, thousands of children for the new generation are dying. The deliberation of it all makes it a cleansing and something deeper than war, though im sure you know that already

>>23329945
I get what you mean, but would rather always be something rather similar. By contemporary planetary standards I live extraordinarily well. My paternal grandfather lived to 98, and whether or not I live that long in chronological terms, I've already done better in terms of pleasant experience.

>>23329947
Fuck me, but I can't get by on less than a quarter pound of meat, red or white, per day. Not much of a fan of ice cream cream or milk, but when it comes to chocolates and cheese, I'd almost rather be dead than do without.

>>23330093
*still a skinny bastard, who knows why that is.

>>23329949
90% of native North Americans, about 200 million of them, were wiped out by diseases introduced by Europeans, almost entirely in ignorance of both parties involved. It has no parallel to what you're trying to draw.

I'm tired of being horny.

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>>23330169
Everyone else is tired of you being horny, too.

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>>23330169
Have a wank.

Do you think I would piss people off if I wrote a gay couple in fiction that took their duty to reproduce seriously and went out to reproduce with others?

>>23330252
Not particularly, or at least it depends on how you go about it. I knew a gay guy who knocked up about 5 chicks, and sometimes bragged to me about his straight conquests with trashy chick, in a dive gay bar I went to. One of the most interesting sightings of him I remember is of him and his mom in a Town Car. Ugly motherfucker. Not sure what anyone saw in him.

>>23327661
test

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>>23330279
test
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaTGrV58wec&list=RDTsNcyrjhzQo&index=27

On the other side of my backyard fence is the street, it's currently the middle of the night and I was just taking a piss in my backyard, as you do, and right after I finished pissing, I heard a couple turning onto the street. They were walking with their young child and they were all talking, having fun, whatever, but I stood there in silence and just listened to them, they had no idea I was there, I was less than 10 feet away from them just listening and existing. It felt good for some reason, to know that they had no idea that I was there and that I was listening to everything they were saying made this weird but good feeling rush through me, I don't know why. Anyone else ever experience this or can explain it?

just had raw tuna for the first time & I feel amazing

>>23330293
Yup. I developed a love for this very young, I'd literally hide in a bush on my front lawn, like a cartoon character, waiting for people to walk past. It's so peaceful to know you see them bit they don't see you hehe.

I desperately wish I could get a do-over, don’t you?

>>23330293
Both of my bedroom windows face about 10 acres of lawn, who knows who owns or maintains it. The nearest streets are about 500 feet away from that. Over the last 6 years I've noticed about three replacements of the local population of feral cats, noticeable shifts in bird populations.

My biggest regret is just getting comfortable and wasting too much time. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life until I was almost 30 and at that point, a lot of history is built up already. You know? You’ve sort of made your career choice by going through university. You’ve already written your early life section with your choice of jobs. I donMt really regret any of it. I just regret lingering too long. I wish I could’ve known earlier and then would’ve charged full steam ahead immediately. It’s important to do that, to chart your course ASAP and go full steam ahead ASAP.

>>23330277
Attractiveness is 90% confidence.

>>23330325
No

>>23330325
I think everyone does on some level, but...maturity is realizing that you have to make the best of what you have.

>>23327680
His name? Not important

In retrospect, I wish I became a journalist. It’s such an easy job. If you can parse the writing of guys like Curtis Yarvin or these other alt-right online “intellectuals” you can pick up what leftist media wants and just write that. You’ll get employed at the New York Times no problem. I should’ve just done that.

>>23330433
The problem is that that was true perhaps five years ago.
The venture capital bubble is bursting, and the hard to get into outlets mostly picked from the higher readership garnering attention whores from places like Buzzfeed.

I fucking love cooking. It confuses me when I see people order doordash most nights with the excuse that cooking is too much work or that it's too expensive.

I just read "The Collector" by John Fowles.

I feel empty and dissatisfied. F. Clegg is a disgusting spineless creature. I'm fuming at how selfish he is. The mental gymnastics he goes through to make nothing his fault or to justify his actions. Even though he knows he is full of shit.

The ending is perfect, and perfectly soul crushing.
Does anyone know any books to lift up spirits? A story with a happy ending or a satisfying revenge?

I'm not trying to be racist or anything, I just don't understand why anyone would want to visit or move to India. For the record, I love Indian people, I've never had a bad experience with one, two of my really good friends, when I was a kid, were even Indian, I just don't get what the country itself has to offer.

>>23330487
I tried to cook as soon as I started to live on my own. I always end up with a meal that's barely edible.
I have eggs every morning which is fine. But something with chicken or any kind of meat? I either end up with dry shit or flavorless meat.
I try from time to time and it's always a waste of 2+ hours.
I need help desu, this is embarassing for me.

I decided to check my Pontifex Maximus, the head of the continuation of the Roman Empire, Pope Francis' X account because I was reading a blog post mentioning that title pontifex maximus. 2 hours ago he posted about grandparents spending time with grandchildren, and I was literally just with my grandmother 2 hours ago. I thought it was a neat coincidence.

>>23327661
Hello frogfrens. How do I transition my life from instant gratification to delayed gratification? It's become so bad as to I cannot even sit still for a 3 hour movie, which I would easily do previously? I obviously want to build a reading habit as well. Any helps

>>23330520
The way I learned to "cook" was buying a slow cooker, throwing whatever meat + vegetables (optiona) + broth in there, and making a simple side dish like rice or pasta to serve it over. Anything more I had to figure out through trial and error, which wasn't always pretty.

>>23330487
>too expensive
It's the same fallacy they fell for back when the economy was good.
Yes there's a larger upfront cost to cook but you can make large meals that last multiple days.

>>23330495
The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde

>>23330516
I went to India for a few weeks when I was sixteen, to visit a close friend who had moved there after her parents got jobs teaching at an international school. There were certain things that I really liked about my trip there. The area I visited was in the lower Himalayas, and the mountains were geographically stunning. I also got to see some cool wildlife, like different kinds of monkeys. The food was really good and very affordable, although I did get violently ill at one point after drinking chai from a street vendor. Many of the people I met there were very friendly and welcoming of foreigners. I also got to see the Taj Mahal at the end of my trip, which was pretty incredible.

Ultimately though, I don’t think I would visit India again. The main reason was the constant staring and sexual harassment that my friend and I experienced everywhere we went. Like, I’ve experienced street harassment in North America before, but this was on a completely different level, and there’s no cultural taboo against it whatsoever. There would be middle-aged men with their wives and children in tow just shamlessly ogling us and making sexual comments. It was to the point that random men would just start taking photos of my friend and I without permission, or would approach and attempt to touch our hair. There’s also a general lack of sanitation in public areas, it’s extremely crowded, and it’s not safe to go anywhere alone as a woman (or even as a man in some cases, because people assume foreigners are wealthy and may attempt to rob you or scam you). Plus, there are agressive stray dogs everywhere who will often try to attack people.

There’s also a lot of extreme poverty there, which can be difficult to see, but gives you a certain perspective that I think is valuable to have. I felt as though I gained a better sense of how privileged my own life is in comparison. Anyway, there are definitely positive things about India, but it wouldn’t be my first choice of country to visit.

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The future of humanity? AI-generated code, movies, literature, video games, art. Individually tailored, personalized "companions" and chatbots and pornography, reducing the need for interaction with other human beings. All the art anyone could want but with no value or meaning whatsoever. Like a house designed by an inhuman intelligence, with lots of space and air and light, but exaggerated, to the point that a real occupant would die of thirst as he tried walking from his bedroom to the kitchen for a drink.

How did colleges become mere places for left-wing activism where basically nobody reads…?

>>23330590
>he thinks he'll have to worry about that future
Hint, if other humans aren't needed to create, then they'll just stop selling food to anyone but the elites they want to live.

>>23329949
>>23330034
My point is if any and all non-assimilating conquest is considered a genocide then the term is no longer useful.

I hate how 'second-rate' and 'minor writer/artist/etc' are used in such a dismissive and pejorative way -- to be second-rate or minor compared to the greats is still something quite nice!

>>23330683
You act like the 'elites' are immune to this.

If it is offered, receive it. If the same offer is then withdrawn, receive that as well. It is the height of arrogance to pretend control in things beyond oneself -- simply receive the world and its people as it is, not as how one should like it. This is the way.

>>23330580
>goes to pajeetland
>is surprised when pajeets are hungry for boob and vagene
fuckin kek

>>23330580
Thanks for your experience post.

There is a weight in my heart, like that of heavy stone. For decades now I have resigned to a life of solitude in assuming some things are simply for other people and not me, and yet, last night I met someone who has softened it in the first time in ages.

Look, I know where I am posting. You know, I know, we all know. I am older now, and considered the notion of romance not meant for me. I've lead my youth exclusively in that way, and already planned my older age accordingly, that is all I've known. Lost in my own world, ah, but now could we be lost together? I've never felt such ease in the company of another, to just enjoy being with them, to laugh together, to root each other on towards ridiculous pursuits of previously abandoned passions and dreams. Ridiculous. Oh, you are such a fool, anon. It was just one night, don't think too much of it.

Be grateful for what it was and what you were given. One night in a corner sushi restaurant, one night in which you felt your heart moved. Now a return to the norm, to the life you know, because you know it would never work out, for you are a broken and dysfunctional person at your core, and they deserve better. It is an act of mercy to spare one such burdens. Just be glad you weren't alone once in your life for one day, because that is all you were ever getting. Be kind, be polite, but let them go, it is wrong to lead people on. You are too old for this, you know better.

Ah, just when you've accepted some things and moved on, life certainly has a habit of bringing you back to the drawing board doesn't it? A pity.

>>23330837
>life certainly has a habit of bringing you back to the drawing board doesn't it?
It doesnt for me.

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>write long detailed racist post on /tv/
>can't post it, already banned
>check reason
>"Posting racism"

>>23330851

Racism is dumb.
If you have so much hate in your heart, direct it towards somebody who is actually evil.

>>23330860
Don't worry, I hate women too.

>>23330865
based

The college protests show that it's not as simple as rich=bad and poor=good, as lots of leftists seem to believe.
Let's face it, if the poor were protesting nobody would give a shit. But because these elite students are protesting, Israel feels so threatened that Satanyahoo himself had to comment on the issue.
Meanwhile lots of poor Americas are like, "I support Israel because Trump is love and Muslims are bad".

>>23330865
Hating women makes much more sense than hating people of a different skin colour, because women are actual cunts who will hurt you.

>>23330846
He's depressed, anon. Isn't it obvious? 95% of this board is depressed irl, shut-in losers. I used to feel bad for them, but after months of trying to help them, and them ignoring me, now I visit to mock and belittle them further. It's kind of fun bullying /lit/cels, actually.

I am watching scenes from the Avengers movies, and while the "Thanos" character is a retard and his plan makes no sense (to the point that it's intensely shocking to me that at no point in the production process did anyone say "this makes no sense," but then, it's normies we're talking about here), I find the protagonists so offensively gay that I find myself enjoying their defeats and implicitly rooting for Thanos. Would that an additional, superior
"villain," a true secret hero like Palpatine, would emerge, kill Thanos for being retarded, and then kill all the protagonists for being gay.

>>23330895
Am I really depressed? I was just posting my thoughts from a last minute dinner date last night. I agreed to it on a whim, but now after some reflection, I think about letting them go and we just walking away back to our own little worlds

I'm reading Joyce's Dubliners. It's not bad but I think I can't really appreciate it because I'm ESL. I understand the plot but I don't feel the beauty of the language.

>>23330711
>immune to it
They are, in fact. They have more money than anyone could ever spend, and influence abound. If they want hand created art, they can retain a person to do it. But they can erect infinite computers to produce as much AI stuff as they like.

>>23330925
Degeneracy creeps upwards, upper middle class has tranny kids now and upper upper class bluebloods are starting to troon and goon too. Also, the deepest yet most obvious secret of human society and history is: you need a healthy middle class to replenish the ranks of the elite and circulate the blood at least slightly, each generation, or ANY elite will inevitably become ingrown, weird, and decadent (trannyish).

You simply cannot poison the soil without ultimately killing the tree you live in too, no matter how high it is.

Fascism is the dialectical synthesis of aristocratic values and "health of the soil" values. It'll either correct this, or we'll all die and degenerate into morlocks until something new can arise. If you want to understand your two options in the next 100 years, option 1 is successful ethnopluralism with fascist/integralist states as the norm, and option 2 is chapter 1 of The Law of Civilization and Decay ("The Romans"):
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/44908/44908-h/44908-h.htm#p_1

>>23330935
Oh they'll be absolute wastrels. But they'll have an automated society to care for them as they atrophy.

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>>23327661
In life there is always a balance; you must have a certain amount of water within you to survive, you must have a certain amount of air within you so your body may form ATP, etc. This is also true with the human psyche. If you lack a certain trait, you'll project it onto something else. For example, if a girl lacked a father figure growing up, she may project that onto her husband. If a women lacks enough attention, she'll manifest it through becoming an overbearing mother, always keeping tabs on her children. The same applies to sexuality. If we lack a certain trait, such as authority, strength, etc, I believe most men manifest that through projecting it onto women. This is why tomboys & "muscle mommies" are on the rise.

Wow, It's the biannual call from my aunt to ask me why I don't have a job! You would think a 50 year old with no kids, husband or hobbies would actually grow a brain at some point and realize what a waste of existance she has led. How do these people operate? She's been working as a busy work office drone for over 30 years and lives in a tiny apartment that she could barely afford in a shithole smoggy city. I don't understand.

>>23330984
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afkN9H9aLow

>>23330984
So why don't you have job?

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I sent her a nuclear text after getting tired of almost 3 months with no progress and I'm in agony fearing the moment I get a notification and she responds

>>23330984
Dude, that's your aunt, don't be rude, she's just checking up on you, sheesh.

>>23331045
Best of luck, anon.

Saw this cute girl at college. Her entire outfit for the day was designed around her crocs. The were dark green, and man they were totally done up. Little croc charms, jingly chains, the absolute works. Saw her walk up to her group of friends and she stuck her foot right into the middle of the circle proudly, while they all fawned over her crocs.
It was cute but it was also extremely fucking retarded. Zoomer fashion is ridiculous. Also I wanted to fuck her.

>>23331073
So you want to use her like a cum dumpster for our pleasure, and then throw her away?

>>23331073
are you the dude who was mad about the cha cha slide?

>>23331073
As soon as I see some stupid Zoomer girl wearing fucking Crocs, I get instantly turned off. It's amazing how far just wearing normal footwear goes in terms of attraction.

>>23331073
Wish she'd walk into a group of me and stick her foot right into the middle of my mouth to be completely honest

>>23331088
I don't mind crocs cause they are at least feminine wear.
Ugly man boots is what I hate. It used to be that only dykes and emos wore them. Now they have become mainstream.

>>23331088
Women should not be allowed to spend more than $500 a year on fashion in general. It's called sumptuary legislation.

Want to look good? Learn to sew, cunt.

"I wanna get
BASED"

has anyone here actually done coke what's that like?

in many ways I am made of more nothing than something. I want to change my life

my dad sent me $100. I don't even know why. we're not very close, but again I am not close with anyone from my family. I almost never asked anyone for money, even when I was a student. I have a job now and it just came out from nowhere. I don't get it. makes me feel like he's dying and trying to mend things or something. when I talk to friends about these things they just keep silent. I don't know of anyone in the same situation

>>23331198
my dad and I don't talk, he vaguely invites me to visit (and I never find the time) and on my birthday he always sends me a fair bit of money ("I've put a bit of money in your account") and it always makes me feel strange. whenever I see him though we get on. father/son is a tricky one.

I know one day I'll be sorry you had to die for me to be sorry you're not here now.

>>23331198
yeah well, what are you going to say to a cunt who hates their family?

>>23331214
It's alright to fight, but anyone who deep down hates their family (even with good reason) is a villain

>>23331223
I sincerely disagree, some peoples' families are truly vile and worthy of revilement.

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>>23328387
>I start to feel that this is empty and ultimately meaningless

https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/ShapeOfSuffering/Contents.html

>>23331187
Many times. Contrary to popular belief and representation, quality coke is actually more euphoric and of a 'everything is great / king of the world' feeling than stimulating, though it still is of course; most of that stimulation high is the cut, quality coke shouldn't be 'tweaky.' But yeah, just a general amazing feeling on the upper side.

>>23331187
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUngLgGRJpo

>Live in abusive home
>Both of my parents are a mess
>Dad gets diagnosed with cancer
>Breaks down crying once he found out
>I can only feel indifferent to it
>My mom criticizes me for not caring about him
I'm not as mad as I am sad about my circumstances.

>>23329659
I’ve struggled with low self esteem for basically my whole life, but the idea that I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve to be loved is a more recent development, I guess. I’ve done a lot of things in the past year and a half that I feel really ashamed of, so in some sense I worry that I can never be “clean” again and that anyone who finds out will just abandon me or stop loving me. But I was originally thinking about the idea of being unable to reciprocate love in relation to a specific person.

I was talking to my therapist a few weeks ago about someone I’d been involved with who was really emotionally abusive and had threatened me a bunch of times, and she asked me if I’d ever been in a healthy relationship. I told her that I had for a few months, with this guy “Max.” We ended up discussing the way that relationship ended for quite a while, and then I ended up coincidentally running into him while running errands shortly after that, which is what got me started on thinking about why things didn’t work out. Her conclusion was that I rejected his kindness and pushed him away because I don’t love myself, and I prefer to fixate on someone unattainable because it allows me to avoid facing the fact that I’m afraid of actual intimacy. She also thinks I have a fearful avoidant attachment style and problems forming close relationships and trusting men due to the fact that my father was pretty abusive when I was a kid, or even that I have some kind of unhealthy attraction to men with anger issues because of that. To some extent I agree, but at the same time I don’t know, I feel like that explanation is weirdly clinical and reductive. Feelings are complicated, and there’s no one specific reason why they develop or don’t.

>>23331230
True but the issue is that point of deserved hate and estrangement is far, far further down the way and uncommon than most white people, Americans specifically, think their situation qualifies. Typical disgusting materialist atomized culture; "I don't owe my parents anything, they ought to be taking care of themselves and handling their own problems. I don't want them in my life over minor X reason." Absolutely vile.

>>23331230
We all have at least one, but it's still your blood. you get what you get. If your brother murdered someone, he didn't do it, and if he did ... that's family business

Karajan Tchaikovsky 6 (DG) :)

>>23331233
Huh. I've had the £150 gram before and it I thought that can be a bit much, whereas with fun pub grub you're like wheyyy come on lets have more pints. On quality coke you're stood there like pahhhhh fuuuckinelll

Thinking about writing an alternative history for myself so when I get dementia I think I had a happier life

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>>23331388
shit thats a great idea anon, im stealing that.

>>23327661
>find a story a wrote two years back
>loved it
fuck im good lads

>>23331388
Kinda like how I remember confuse some of my happiest, most impactful dreams for memories
a blessing really

>>23331086
No, I'm the guy who spent three threads making fun of that guy

>>23331187
I've done it once. The group I was doing it with asked me how it felt and I said "it's like the best cup of coffee I've ever had." I talked a lot and told everyone about my feelings which is mot something I've ever done before or since

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/kaco

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/taco

Considering writing an op-ed or blogpost arguing if Biden wins the election he should pardon Trump if he still has criminal cases in process.

>>23331257
psychology is a scam. stop wasting your time thinking about missed opportunities with this guy and go find someone new

I fucking hate men from England

>>23331540
What about men who are one generation removed from England?

>>23331540
filthy jock

>>23331546
As long as you don't have that gormless foppish homosexual lilt and stupid fucking accent then you are okay

>>23327661
What the Right doesn’t understand is that there is a place for women on their side. It's as a wife and mother - a lady, not a slattern. The problem women have with this is it's a necessarily private, non-political space. In order to ascend to that station, they must necessarily give up the baser devices of democracy.

Women have played an important role in organizing social networking events, and serving and helping their community in the past as well as patronizing businesses etc. And guess what? they did this without the vote.

what's a song that makes you feel good?
no wrong answers anything goes

>>23328068
>I once read a old post, made by myself back in the day somewhere on the internet.
>I read and - gaze! - I note a reference to a author, specific with book, even captere, I completely forgot about.
>It was a ranter obscure reference, so I don't need them.
>As it appears, your brain is a lot more on intellectual things in your teenage-phase.
I've felt this way before too. I honestly think I have brain damage.

>>23331583
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKyn_Msy9Bc

>>23327793
>Yeah I feel you. The mood on /lit/ is palpable frustration, they're trying (and failing) to use books to "overcome" the frustration of their animal instincts. This is obviously stupid since you're just suppressing those animal drives, and it's leaking out of you 24/7 like a damp sponge.
I don't cope with books to cover up any animals instincts. I do it to cope with the bitterness and resentment I feel about mishandling my education.

Feeling great, grateful, unstoppable. Wondering what I am truly capable of and am excited.

My dumb ass autocorrect always gives shit suggestions. Not only will it correct perfectly right words into the wrong word, it will take a common type like "rhe" and turn it into rhetorical instead of the. It's a shit system

that’s me a month clean from alcohol and cigarettes. not to worry though it’s payday today haha enjoy your saturday ;)

>>23331692
I'm cutting back on drinking myself. I've missed out on way too many fun Sundays due to hangover

>>23331628
That’s a Saturday night post if I’ve ever seen one

>>23331533
It’s not really a missed opportunity, considering that after I saw him last week he texted me asking if I want to meet up for coffee and said that he misses me. I get the sense that he still has feelings and is interested in reconnecting. It’s more just that I don’t understand why I felt so incapable of reciprocating his feelings during the time that we were seeing each other, or why I feel so ambivalent about all of if now. Maybe you’re right and it’s best to stop ruminating over it, but I’m trying to think it through so I can figure out how to respond to his text—I feel like it would be shitty of me to just never reply.

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A year or two ago I lost the ability to strongly distinguish between dreams and reality. Events that occurred in dreams return to me as memories. The only way I can determine what really happened and what happened in my head is by the discontinuity between a dream event and a waking event. As a consequence I've become agnostic about the reality of what I'm experiencing. It could be real, so I play along. It could be unreal, so I don't take it too seriously.
The person I am in a dream and the person I am while waking are very similar, but at times they will act very differently, sometimes distressingly so. In dreams I've done things that shook me on waking, and the uncertain boundary between the two is the fuel for a quiet fear of myself.
I'm still functional. I have a job. I have a social life. If I get too serious about all of this and allow it to affect me, I'll slip and maybe not get back up again.

Lately I've been feeling this strong sense of anxiety, foreboding, and insecurity. It hit me pretty randomly and I just don't get it. Everything was going so well and now I just feel like a disaster

>>23327661
I think i could shit out a decent story, i'd have to shit out a million other, even shittier stories before i got anywhere decent though. Not sure yet, maybe some Mass Effect fanfic (yeah i know) about some PMCs or mercenary groups in the Terminus systems or a mercenary company in a medieval setting. There's something in mercenaries that seems like it'd be fun to write about on an intuitive level.

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Words are a more powerful thing than violence.

Words direct minds, armies, and nations. Words can even take or save your own life, as the scripture teaches.

Yet higher than words is the inner struggle to live a life that is righteous in the eyes of God. This is beyond words, and it is beyond this world.

>>23331705
If you don't like him then just tell him you're not interested. Don't lead him on.

>Anon's favorite comfort recipe
In crock pot:
3 lbs chicken breasts, halved
Half a bottle-ish of russian salad dressing (eyeball it)
Half a cup-ish of apricot jam (eyeball it)
1 packet onion soup mix
Stir everything up together and cook on low for 4 hours.
Side dish, made in skillet:
Melt 1/4 cup butter, break about 1/3 to 1/2 box angel hair pasta in half (if you are Italian close your eyes) and throw it in, stir around til pasta is buttered and starts to brown, then add 1 cup chicken broth, 1 can chicken soup, 1 cup rice, and a little water, stir, let boil, then cover and cook on very low heat til the rice has gone soft.
Plate and bring to your bedroom. Eat with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders while thinking about more cheerful times from your childhood. Optionally, look at old photos or think about calling Mom since it's been a while.

>go to chipotle for first time in a year or two
>expecting usual $12 steak/carnitas half/half bowl
>$17
IS NOTHING SAFE FROM THE JEWS?

I feel like giving up on life. I feel so behind…

>>23331583
https://youtu.be/bHFbaF9_kpI?si=R4n5ISQ4XUG0idpQ

I feel like I’m trying to jump over a big pit with shoes made of cement.

Immanation is a word you can find in a dictionary. I swear by this since I've seen it before in Kant threads(which I do not browse) on /lit/, but it's too rare and isn't accepted in my word browser game.

>>23332040
Last time I went to Chipotle the burrito was 15 dollars and it gave me food poisoning

>>23327661
why do you guys talk about Kant so much?

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People actually get lonely? Are you serious? How much of a pussy do you have to be?

My inner voice has tourette's but I don't. Earlier today I was having a perfectly normal conversation with someone while my inner voice, sounding like a middle aged male black crackhead, was yelling I AM THE KING OF PENIS!! PENIS!! PEEEEEENIS!!! KING OF PENIS!!! I AM THE KING OF PENIS PENIS NIGGER NIGGER HAHAHAAAAAA PENIS!! PENIS!! I AM THE KING OF PENIS!! niggerniggerniggerPENIS

What is the cause of this?

>>23332476
ikr i just be alone all the time idgaf

Aesthetically speaking, Kiley Filmore is everything I want right now

>>23331751
Have you seen a neurologist? That's not normal. Sometimes I get derealization spells that make reality feel dreamlike but for me it's caused by psychiatric meds

>>23332492
Whomst?

>>23332482
lmfao I thought that was just me hoping to God nobody around me can secretly read my thoughts

>>23331751
that sounds very cool

>>23332495
>That's not normal.
wtf even is anon. wtf even is...

>>23332505
My nuts slapping against your mum while I raw dog her.

>>23331901
I do like him, and rationally I know that he’s good for me—for the few months that we were together he had a pretty stabilising affect on my life and shortly after I ended it I began a downward spiral. I just don’t love him (although maybe my understanding of what it means to feel love is inherently fucked up), and I don’t know if that’s the kind of thing that can develop over time. It feels wrong to go back to him when I’m always thinking about someone else, especially because that was the whole reason that I broke things off in the first place, because I felt like it wasn’t fair to him. Also, he has control issues and a bit of a saviour complex, so I worry that we would quickly develop an unhealthy codependent dynamic. But atp things can’t get much worse so maybe an unhealthy codependence is preferable to descending into insanity on my own.

>>23332520
that's not normal

I had five pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast, I want to eat again but I don't want to consume too many calories.

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>>23332499
It is not. I would very much like to be a participant in my own life instead of this detached observer thing who is unable to trust his own mind.

>>23332536
are your dreams lucid?

>>23332522
why don't you try lonelymaxxing?

That girl I've been wasting my time on developed feeling for me and now I feel awkward

ladies and gentlemen I have no rizz

>>23332546
I am aware that I am dreaming when awake just as much as I am when dreaming, if that makes sense.
I've lucid dreamed before but the term itself feels wrong to use from my current situation. If I can't trust the phenomena in front of me to be real it doesn't really matter if I'm dreaming or awake.

>>23332588
so right now you I could be a character in your dream?

>>23332592
Yes, in my situation anyone could be.

1500 word essay due in 8 hours. Its on the economic impact of railroads in the German Confederation. Its so over. I'm not coming back from this one.

I'm not masculine. I'm not feminine.

>>23332733
What are you then?

>>23332734
NEETine

I make people uncomfortable and I don't know why

I'm supposed to have a talent?

I will have a girlfriend by the end of May.

>>23332779
How are you going to achieve that?

i miss her in feelings that can't be written in words. i miss her in the colors of a sunset. i miss her beyond masks i wear for normies and in vulnerabilities i expose to nobody.

The debacle over the Israel protests has made me realize that the Right is actually worse than the Left. They are the greater threat.

Leftists, for all their problems, at least want to change things. They at least desire a new vision of the future even if they fail to give it. But the Right has none. Their brains are permanently stuck in 1989. They are licking the feet of their Jewish masters while leftists are the ones who became strong enough to question their influence. This means that when the time comes to head forward into the future and fight this decadent generation of elderly ruling class scumbags, the Right is going to stand in the way. They’re gonna try and protect their power just as they’re defending Biden on the matter of Israel. It’s the least popular position that he’s taken in his presidency, one that will cost him the election, and yet it’s the lone position of Biden’s that they support.

Absolutely fucking pathetic

>>23332714
Look, 1500 words in 8 hours is easy, but on that specific topic? Yeah, seems like you're fucked, best of luck to you.

>>23327723
maybe read the books?

I can’t find a job in an industry that supposedly is plentiful with jobs. I don’t even want to do the job and even when I apply to other jobs related to what I have done, they tell me I would be a great fit for the team but other people are more technical. The tech industry was a lie and is a lie and is a joke

>>23332782
I don't know. I plan to treat it like getting a job.

these days my only source of social connection is finding dating profiles of girls that i really life and then jerking off to pornstars that look like them

>>23331699
Checking back in on Sunday morning and the vibe continues.

>>23332920
bruh

>>23330590
Probably not that extreme. AI is probably going to get castrated to death by the next decade, anyway. The creative world is going to get absolutely obliterated by AI churned slop, though.
Personally, I think it may improve art quality a bit. Even if the price is that all the arts become akin to refined calligraphy
>>23330683
>He thinks the elites want Eugenic genocide.
They live to maximize the number of people world wide.
If they wanted total Eugenic genocide they wouldn't have allowed population to go past 4 Billion tops.
>>23332793
The future is dead. It's over.
We can only hope it begins anew.
>>23332714
How do you even get into this situation.

>>23333031
I wasted a lot of time reading news articles. The gossip columns are only a click away from the German railroad section. I got sucked in.

>>23333048
>gossip columns are only a click away from the German railroad section
How much gossip can there be proximate to the upper Silesian railways?

>>23333054
There was a bunch of them underneath the article in the "Related Stories" section. I'm not quite sure what a Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez relationship timeline has to do with the Austro-Prussian War. I guess those journalists know something I don't. They are degree accredited professionals after all.

>>23333070
What newspaper are you reading that survived Bismarck and the German Empire?

>>23327661
Suicice should be a right.
If you don't even get power of life and death over your own body, what do you have left?
And honestly, I think it should be illegal to intervene if onr is attempting on their own life.

>>23333082
There's a few that survived. But this was in a British newspaper. Written in the 2000's I think. It was pretty much useless but I need to pad out my references.

>>23333126
Found this as well. https://www.jstor.org/stable/20762434

>>23333126
>I need to pad out my references.
>stares in train nerd
Nobody cares about those 15 years Baden used Irish gauge

>>23333149
Yeah, it doesn't get that specific. Why did Ireland have its own gauge? I would've thought they'd use the same one as Britain, although the Australian colonies all ended up having different gauges before they federated so I guess that's pretty normal.

>You could be learning a skill right now.
Like what? What could I possibly be learning that wouldn't want to make me blow my brain out from disinterest?

>>23333162
Neither Britain or Ireland had their own standard until an act enforced two different ones: British is now called standard, but a lot of railways wanted wider gauges because it makes for a more comfortable journey back when the new standard was considered narrow, and Irish gauge is a compromise which split the difference between much wider gauges and much more narrow gauges than existed in the UK. Irish gauge comes out of a legal dispute running up to the Gauge Act, which set the standard for UK and Irish gauges as they are now, so they couldn't reverse the compromise when it came time to standardise both and have a uniform gauge for both islands together. Most Australian colonies have Irish gauge because an Irish engineer designed them to "standard gauge" in Ireland, which to UK standards is broad gauge.
Baden having the same gauge for about a decade is kind of a coincidence. The gauge had been a track standard since Greece for horse drawn tracks, and Baden was building railways early enough that drawing inspiration from the Greeks was as good as any other theory of what the standard might look like. However, by the time Ireland is making their gauge mandatory to bring railway interconnection between most passenger railways on the island, Baden has realized most states around it have built to the new UK standard, not the broader Irish one. So they switch out all their rail in 1854–5 for the UK standard gauge which becomes the European standard in general.
tl:Dr- every railway company used have their own gauge and shit's all retarded

>>23333031
>they live to maximize the number of people worldwide
False. They put propaganda urging us to not give birth and quash incentives that would make more families have and keep children. They also support abortion when it is not medically necessary.

>>23333189
Would changing the gauge not require them to rip up and relay the entire track?

>>23333198
And the locos and carriages

>>23333200
Sounds expensive. All this gauge stuff is pretty interesting.

>>23333207
Russian gauge (imperial, not the slightly narrower soviet) is the best because they adopted one of the English broader gauges which was just about to be made extinct, and solely because a South Carolina engineer was working with a railway and canal company who hoped to rip off the business model of the Great Northern railway from the UK.
The South Carolina canal and railway company did pretty well in terms of laying track in the US, but a lot of it didn't link up, and competing companies from North Carolina up generally used something closer to standard gauge. When the US civil war came that meant they had to suddenly link up a lot of 5ft gauge railways in the South, to have trains running through Jacksonville and into Mobile etc, on the South Carolina broad gauge system, while also having a major bottleneck where the broad gauge system met the standard North Carolina gauge. This didn't help win the war and threw a lot of money into beefing up a soon to be obsolete gauge network.
Russia later has a similar bottleneck where the Czechoslovaks take the trans Siberian railway hostage. To be fair to the Czechoslovaks, they left the railway better than they found it, but the Russians also reduced their track width to the Soviet standard to just not have the memory of bad Tsarist takes on railways or Czechoslovaks hanging around.

>>23333300
>>23333300
>>23333300

>>23330865
well posted

>>23330984
I am just posting to let you know I agree with your general sentiment